35: Understanding Overwhelm

In this episode, I’m diving into the emotional rollercoaster of sending a missionary into the field and handling the stress that follows. We’ll explore how our nervous system can sometimes confuse minor issues with major crises, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

I’ll break down the basics of the nervous system, including the "fight or flight" and "rest and digest" responses. Plus, I’ll share expert insights and practical techniques to help you calm your nerves when everything feels like it’s on fire.

By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to tell the difference between “burned toast” moments and real emergencies, and you’ll have some simple tools to manage your stress and anxiety.

Key Takeaways:

• The nervous system’s role in stress and how it affects you.
• How to distinguish between minor stressors and real challenges.
• Techniques for calming your nerves during tough times.
• Building a support system to help you cope.

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Transcript

0:30

Hello and welcome to the podcast. I was listening to a lady in church. That got up to bear her testimony. And she was talking about. Sending her oldest and first missionary off. And some of the difficulties that they've faced. Some of the uncertainty that her missionary was facing. Not sure if he felt ready. And then also the uncertainty she felt after dropping him off. At the MTC. as I was listening to her, I. Realized that we definitely have some nervous system issues. That take place when we're dropping our missionaries off. both big and small worries can start to feel really overwhelming. Being able to understand the nervous system. And how to discern between minor stressors. And significant challenges. Because your nervous system doesn't really know the difference and it can feel like the house is always burning down. Even though it may be something a lot smaller. like burn toast. But you have to learn how to distinguish them. So I just wanted to give you guys some basics about the nervous system. And this is just a very quick synopsis. we have the atomic nervous system that includes the sympathetic, the fight or flight. And the parasympathetic. And rest and digest system. So the sympathetic nervous system is our body's alarm system. That is designed to help us respond to threats, or it can be triggered by everyday stressors, making us feel like we're in danger. Even when we're not. And, that's a quote by Dr. Steven. Porsches and he's a neuro scientist. And there was also a study from the American psychological association found that chronic stress can cause the sympathetic nervous system to become overactive. And it can lead to increased anxiety and feelings of catastrophic. Even non-threatening situations. So, let me just relate this to everyday experiences that missionary moms can face. Like dropping our missionaries off at the MTC. Or receiving a less than ideal phone call. From our missionary about something that's happening or. currently happening with the companion or something that happened on the street. Or. illnesses. You know, things like that, or even small issues at home can add to that. So we have these. concept of burn toast moments. They're small non-catastrophic events that our nervous system can sometimes overreact to because our nervous system can't distinguish between burn toast and the house burning down. Mindfulness experts suggest that our brains are wired to focus on negative experiences. And that's a survival mechanism that makes minor issues feel much bigger than they are. in contrast we have, the house is burning down situation. Genuinely serious issues that require immediate attention. some examples, we have a difficult companion that's burn toast versus a missionary experiencing a mental health crisis or a health crisis. That's the house is burning down and they need immediate attention. So some tools for calming the nervous system and just being aware of what your nervous system does. There's some simple techniques. That you can use when everything feels like. The house is burning down so deep breathing. But you want to make sure that when you do deep breathing, you're breathing through the nose, not through the mouth. Those help too. Activate. The parasympathetic. Nervous system. Which calms the Paris, the sympathetic nervous system. mouth breathing actually does the opposite. And it activates the sympathetic nervous system. So you want to be able to slow that down, where you're breathing really deeply. Kind of a rhythmic pattern. And that really helps reduce. cortisol levels and it helps to calm the nervous system. There's some other techniques and these are not. something you want to try. you want to just try and find what works for you, because everybody's just a little bit different. they're grounding techniques such as focusing on the present moment. Using the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. You can, identify things that you can hear. Things that you can see touch, smell, maybe taste. When you do those, that brings you very much into the present moment. And helps you start to calm things down. Another one that I've heard about recently is trying to hear and listen to the farthest thing you can hear. And then the closest thing you can hear. another one. Is being able to hug yourself while rubbing your own arms and repeating, I am safe. I am safe. Or my missionary is safe. journaling will help you gain perspective, but any type of rhythmic movement walking, rocking in a row in a rocking chair. And, you know, when you see. the ladies at church and a baby starts crying and every lady standing there starts rocking. That that's an instinctual way of calming the baby down. And it works for us still to this day. It's actually one of the very first things we learned, as we were growing up. we just want to practice these techniques regularly, even when things are calm. So that they're easier to access in moments of stress. not only when you become activated, but prior to activating. it's really hard to know when those activated moments are going to come. But if you've practiced some of these things. Then they'll, be accessible to you. Oh. And you know, one more. that I have heard about is. From Leah Davidson and I actually had her on the podcast. A number of episodes ago and she's a nervous system expert. And she talks about rag dolling over. Where. You kind of, you know, bend at the waist and your. You're just trying to relax all the muscles and just ragdoll. And then you want to just do a scan of your body where you're like, am I clenching my face? My jaw. And just all the way through your body where you're just letting everything go. So once you've gained some perspective on your nervous system. So once you've calmed your nervous system down, then you can kind of make a. kind of an evaluation of, okay. How did I do. What happened? What small improvement did I make? What do I want to do next time? And kind of set yourself up to start practicing so that when the next time comes around, You're able to access those tools that you've got in your tool belt. So just being super mindful. Of what's going on. And then, making sure that you also build a support system. Around you so that you don't have to. Face even those burn toast. moments alone. Because. When we feel. Like the house is burning down. We really do have to be able to logically understand that some of it is not. It is just burned toast. So just to recap the main points, we just want to make sure we have a really basic understanding of the nervous system. Differentiating between burn toast and the house burning and using calming techniques. we just want to start taking small steps. So that you can regain control and be able to really be friend your nervous system. Cause there's nothing wrong with you. And one of the reasons we have these nervous systems that react the way they do is if you think about back. You know, Back in the day. When it was. Either being. the people who jumped at every stick. Thinking it was a snake or the ones who survived. And so it's built into us. In. A really positive way. And so there's nothing a matter with us. It's just a matter of learning how to work. You know, within it and with it, so that you can keep that control. So remember you're always stronger than you think you are. And by understanding your body's signals, you can start to navigate the challenge of being. a missionary mom with greater peace and clarity. I've got a new program that is going to be launching. Where I'm creating a community. That you can access and have access to as you were missionary goes through. the mission and you'll be able to get coaching and I'll be on there. Doing calls it's going to be a really great opportunity for moms to collaborate with other moms. And. know that we're not alone. You know, not. It's not that we don't have faith. It's that we have a nervous system and we have thoughts. And we have emotions and all the things that go along with this. So, thank you so much for tuning in. And you guys are doing a great job as missionary moms, no matter what challenge they're facing. Please share it and also make sure that you. Give me a review on your favorite podcast platform. All right, everybody have a great day.