The Spring Tonic Episode 6 - SING

In the last episode of this season Editor of The Simple Things magazine, Lisa Sykes and Wellbeing Editor, Becs Frank are feeling the joys of spring through small ways to be happy. Join their chat about the dawn chorus and birdsong, why singing is good for everyone, revisiting pastimes from your childhood, good friends and cooing over new life. As always, there will be an original short story to take a moment with.

A Spring Tonic is supported by Pause, the subscription box from Mind 

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Transcript

Lisa Sykes (00:06):

Welcome to the last episode in our spring tonic. We're calling this one sing and we're going to be seeking small ways to be happy. I'm Lisa Sykes, editor of The Simple Things, and I'm here listening to the birds sing with Becs Frank, our wellbeing editor. As promised, we won't actually be bursting into song today. You'll be pleased to know. Well, unless you're really feeling the joys of Spring Becs.

Becs Frank (00:27):

Well, I am feeling the joys of Spring, but I won't put you through my bursting into song thankfully.

Lisa Sykes (00:32):

Fair enough. But instead, we are going to be appreciating the Dawn Chorus discovering why singing makes us feel good, remembering some childhood activities that make our heart sing, cooing over new life and discovering why friendships are so important to us. But first, a big thank you to Pause the subscription box from Mental Health Charity Mind for supporting the whole season. Becs and I have very much enjoyed our origami activities in our first boxes. And each month for a donation, you receive a box of mindful things to do and think about and your subscription supports Mind's work to help those struggling with mental health issues. So if that sounds of interest to you, you should find out more at Pause for mind.org uk slash simple. And the link is also in our episode description. So Becks, here we are sing Ways to be Happy. I think Birdsong is probably top of the list at this time of year and if you get up early, you really can't fail to notice that it's spring because of it. Can you?

Becs Frank (01:26):

It's incredible, isn't it? I was up actually just on a kind of quite functional, boring work walk down to the station very early at five 30 in the morning a couple of weeks ago, and I couldn't believe because there was no traffic and I couldn't believe the sound of the Bird song. It was incredible. And instead of feeling by the time I got to the station, I felt actually really happy and really calm instead of stressed and annoyed for being up so early.

Lisa Sykes (01:47):

It's just uplifting, isn't it? The Swedes, of course, because they're good at this kind of thing of invented a word. Well probably not invented it just, it's what they call it gta, the act of getting up early to listen to Birdsong. I like that. Isn't it brilliant that there's a word for that? It's great. I know. So I'm going to GTA this morning. It sounds quite cool, doesn't it

Becs Frank (02:09):

Set you alarm to gta? Yeah. Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (02:12):

Well, and of course setting your alarm at this time of year, it's not quite midsummer, so it's not too early is it really? No, you can get up at sort of

Becs Frank (02:23):

6, 5 36 is incredible.

Lisa Sykes (02:25):

Yeah.

Becs Frank (02:26):

And I've got this annoying habit of waking up quite early and instead of lying there and thinking, oh no, this is going to be an awful day up so early I, not every day, but have taken to getting up and just going and doing something nice and not laying there feeling depressed. Very good. And I've actually really enjoyed it and I can hear the bird song and I can do something productive or something relaxing and I feel quite proud of myself actually.

Lisa Sykes (02:52):

No, you should be. But I think it's also because I'm really not enjoying the radio programme I have that comes on with my alarm on the morning at the moment.

Becs Frank (03:01):

Ah, do you have the same programme?

Lisa Sykes (03:03):

They've changed the dj. Right. Okay. I don't like him. It's not kind of speaking to me and I'm thinking it would be much nicer to listen to Birdsong have your window open. The thing is though, because this sort of traffic outside, you can't always hear it's, but I've discovered the RSPB, you have a bird song radio. Oh, they do. So if you can't hear the real thing, you can actually play it. Play Radio Bird. Yeah, radio

Becs Frank (03:27):

Bird. How good are you at identifying Lisa identifying different bird song?

Lisa Sykes (03:32):

Oh, well actually the thing is, I do know because in the Dawn chorus, which is really nice at this time of year, it starts with a few calls.

Speaker 3 (03:41):

It does.

Lisa Sykes (03:42):

And they are usually Robins, blackbirds and Thrushes.

Speaker 3 (03:46):

Yeah,

Lisa Sykes (03:46):

That's right. And Thrushes you will recognise because they're so beautiful they song. And so I would recognise those. And because you see the Robin,

(03:55):

Quite easy to know which, because they're always very visible, they, it's quite easy to know. I'm not sure I'd recognise a blackbird offhand. How about you? Well,

Becs Frank (04:04):

I have been trying to identify. I feel like I really know it and I know it when I listen to them on my identifier. But then when I'm outside and they're all kind of going at it at once, I find it harder. But the Blackbird is lower and I know the Thrush as well, the song Thrush, it does repeat its song, so I can identify that. But it isn't as easy as it seems.

Lisa Sykes (04:27):

But do you know what? I'm actually not that bothered about sort of knowing?

Becs Frank (04:31):

No.

Lisa Sykes (04:31):

I just kind of want to let it wash over me. And I read possibly in a piece that you wrote, Beck, is that Birdsong can relieve stress and improve your mood in as little as seven minutes apparently.

Becs Frank (04:43):

Yeah, I mean I think even less than that for me. It's amazing, isn't it? I mean that's why there are is Radio Bird and there are different apps where you can sit and listen to this song because it is incredibly calming, relaxing,

Lisa Sykes (04:55):

A

Becs Frank (04:55):

Bit like listening to the sound of Waves on the beach or something.

Lisa Sykes (04:58):

And apparently if you are listening to this on the day we are releasing this episode, which is Sunday, the 5th of May. Today is actually National Dawn Chorus Day.

Speaker 3 (05:07):

Oh wow.

Lisa Sykes (05:07):

So if ever there were a reason to go out and listen to it, and of course they do go on longer than Dawn, most Birdsong goes well into the morning. It's only in the middle of the day where you get a real lull. And of course if you're not that good at getting up in the morning, there's a dust chorus as well.

Becs Frank (05:24):

Yes, there is.

Lisa Sykes (05:24):

Which is pretty much spectacular. And again, it's the thrushes and the robins and the blackbirds that you'll probably hear last in the day as well. Lovely. For those evening walks, do you do dawn or

Becs Frank (05:36):

Dusk? Well, I'm doing dawn quite a bit, but I do like a dusk walk as well. Especially now we've got the lighter evenings. I like taking my dogs out in the evening. Both times of the day I really quiet. But I think I particularly like Dawn because it gives you the opportunity to set your mood for the day, I think. And that morning light, there's a lot of research into why getting out as early as you can in the morning and getting a dose of daylight helps to reset your circadian levels so that you basically, that's your body, your internal body clock. So your appetite, your sleep is all controlled by that. So it really kind of helps you to keep in sync and find that it makes me feel more alert through the day. You can get to sleep a bit easier in the evening if you're someone that has trouble falling asleep. So there's lots of benefits to that.

Lisa Sykes (06:24):

Is that right? That it actually makes you less tired if you've got up early? People who wake early feel more alert and less tired and go to sleep easier?

Becs Frank (06:32):

Yes.

Lisa Sykes (06:33):

Yes. That's what the research shows. That's a good reason, isn't it?

Becs Frank (06:36):

Yeah. And I think you notice that, don't you? I mean it's lovely having a lion in, but you do. I don't ever feel like I quite get going if I've had a long lie in.

Lisa Sykes (06:44):

No, and I love that feeling. If you've got up early, you've done something and you look at your watch and you think, oh, until 10 o'clock and I've already done something really nice and I've still got the whole day ahead of me.

Becs Frank (06:58):

Have you heard about something called the 5:00 AM Club? There was a book Sounds dodgy. Yeah, I don't think I'll be going to be joining, but I'm in my own little 5:00 AM club at the moment.

(07:07):

But the premise of that was a book that was written by a guy called Robin Charmer, and there's a whole social media thing about people getting up at 5:00 AM hashtag 5:00 AM club. But he said that it's a good, the nice thing to do is to create this hour for yourself when you wake up. And that allows you the time to do that before other people get up and for time to do things. Like maybe a bit of movements that might be a walk, a bit of reflection, perhaps something that you don't get time for in your day, like filling in your journal or having a go at meditation or maybe just then something, an opportunity to read something or listen to something like a podcast.

Lisa Sykes (07:41):

Yeah.

Becs Frank (07:41):

Could it be listening to our podcast?

Lisa Sykes (07:43):

No, I often try and not sort of open my laptop and get stuck into work. I kind of like to think, okay, this is pre-work.

Speaker 3 (07:54):

Yes.

Lisa Sykes (07:55):

And we've talked about this. This is five to nine, isn't it?

Speaker 3 (07:58):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (07:58):

So you have five to nine at the beginning of the day and five to nine at the end of the day. That's right. And actually they're both this time of year, you can make absolute benefits of both of those, can't you?

Becs Frank (08:10):

It's just great, isn't it? And that's what I love about this time of year. I love the morning, which we just talked about, but at the end of the day, so you can kind of mould your day around obviously things, different jobs, different people will suit different times. But you have this sort of stretchy time, so at the end of the day you've got the benefits of going out again. And the fading light also has an effect on your hormone production. So it will help you to calm down, produce melatonin, which is the sleep hormone. And it's a lovely time to hang out, isn't it? And just be, oh

Lisa Sykes (08:40):

Yeah, you see you're selling it to me. And I think much as I do, like an early morning, the dust chorus, sitting, listening to Birdsong in the evening, possibly a glass of something chilled in my hand by the fire pit. Maybe we sometimes watch bats our garden. Oh we do. In fact, a few times we've wild camped in our garden to watch them at night and just being in the sleeping bag laid on the lawn. It's kind of, I don't know, it's just a childish thing, but it's fun. That's great

Becs Frank (09:08):

Fun. And it stays so much lighter when you're outside because when you're inside it feels like it's dark and you put the lights on. But when you're outside you realise that it's not dark. I know

Lisa Sykes (09:17):

You can still see, can't

Becs Frank (09:18):

You? Yeah, you can still see and you can hear the different sounds and smells of, they're saying that as the light fades, you can't see as clearly, but your other senses heightened so you can hear things and smell things. And I like that idea too.

Lisa Sykes (09:32):

I know. And we don't spend enough time outside at dusk do we kind of do come inside partly because of our climate, I guess because it's not always that warm for sitting outside. But yeah, just yesterday, my other half, he likes doing a bit of photography and he likes wildlife photography and for ages he's been talking about going down the wood to watch the badges. And yesterday he went down there and he just set off.

Becs Frank (09:55):

Did he catch him?

Lisa Sykes (09:55):

And yeah, he saw some and they did he? Yeah. And he was just walking along the path towards him. And did he get some good shots? Well, to be honest, he didn't, but that's because it took him by surprise that it beard right in front of him. But actually it didn't matter. He just went out there and saw it. And actually he was so pleased because he just hadn't got round to doing it. And actually you've got to be in it to win it, haven't they? As they say.

Becs Frank (10:22):

Yes, exactly. Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (10:24):

But yeah, obviously it's not only birds that like to sing in spring, we also get more vocal, don't we? As our energy levels and spirits rise. But I mean, I dunno, most people think they can't sing. I think I can't sing. Does it matter?

Becs Frank (10:37):

Yeah. I think most people think they can't sing, but most people actually, if they really honest, do quite love singing really? Even if it's just on their own in the shower, don't you think?

Lisa Sykes (10:45):

Yeah. And also we do all actually sing. We, it might be the show, it might be at a football match, it might be in the car or when you're dancing. I sing all the time. If I'm at a club, when did I last do that? But at a party or a wedding or something.

Becs Frank (11:03):

Everyone has certain songs that they can't resist singing along to. Yeah,

Lisa Sykes (11:06):

Yeah.

Becs Frank (11:07):

And I like, go on. No, as I saying, I like it when you're just in the kitchen and the radio comes on and there's a song every word, and you just burst into song and yeah, absolutely. You don't really care who's listening do you? I know my son sings in the shower. Does he? Is he tuneful? It's just really sweet. Not especially, but it's just obviously his time when he is kind of relaxed and singing makes you feel good. So it's one of the wellbeing activities that's really recommended for so many reasons. It has physical and emotional health benefits. So physical, you can imagine your lung function, but it's even been shown to improve immune function. And then emotionally it's great. Brings people together, things like choirs and going to church.

Lisa Sykes (11:54):

And it must be the old endorphins again. Yeah,

Becs Frank (11:56):

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And oxytocin, which is the bond you often singing in a group and it

Lisa Sykes (12:01):

Really helps you to calm down. Apparently more than 2 million of us singing communal groups now.

Becs Frank (12:06):

Really?

Lisa Sykes (12:07):

Yeah.

Becs Frank (12:07):

That's great,

Lisa Sykes (12:08):

Isn't it? I know. I mean, we did a piece

Becs Frank (12:10):

On this we and I love, there was a sound, there was a group of mums that had come together that were singing, and I think they weren't actually even meeting in person, but they were kind of singing online and different, this is a new mums as a way of relieving stress

Lisa Sykes (12:24):

And

Becs Frank (12:24):

Maybe singing lullabies. And I thought it was a lovely idea.

Lisa Sykes (12:28):

It's a really good, I'm not sure I'd feel about doing it online though. There's something about standing next to someone I think in my own head, that's what keeps me in tune, being next to someone who can actually sing. But yeah, and also that whole breathing thing as well, because you have to breathe deep when you're singing, don't you?

Becs Frank (12:45):

Yeah. Yeah. And look what you just did when you said that you kind of straightened up and puffed out your chest. And that's another thing, singing. Singing is good for your posture as well, because you don't

Lisa Sykes (12:57):

Stand and sing. I hadn't really thought about that, but yeah, you stand up, don't you? Yeah, yeah, you do. Yeah, no, it's very true. Very true. So what about humming though? Because you sing it al hum it. I mean, humming seems a lot easier than singing. Humming is really good for you

Becs Frank (13:16):

Ing and you can hum a tune and also, or you can just do the kind of humming, like a chanting like an hum. Oh,

Lisa Sykes (13:24):

And that's

Becs Frank (13:24):

Very

Lisa Sykes (13:24):

Good for calming down the nervous system. Is that why they do that in yoga then? Is that why it's part of that practise?

Becs Frank (13:32):

So it stimulates the vagus nerve. Okay. Yeah. It stimulates the vagus nerve, which singing also does.

Lisa Sykes (13:38):

Where's your vagus nerve?

Becs Frank (13:39):

So it is the nerve that connect to this sort of emotional centre of the brain. So it is all involved in the parasympathetic nervous system. So it's a bit technical, but it's basically you are kind of calm, switching off the sort of stress response and switching on your calm, relaxed, relaxed mode.

Lisa Sykes (13:56):

So I guess it's that vibration, isn't it? That happens inside your body. Yeah.

Becs Frank (14:01):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (14:01):

It's really interesting how having something happen in your body can affect other parts of your body, doesn't it? My dentist gave me a really good tip about if you want to take your mind off something because fiddling around in your mouth and it's not the most pleasant

Speaker 3 (14:16):

Experience.

Lisa Sykes (14:17):

If you wriggle your toes, it takes your head to the other end of your body. So actually totally. And it works so brilliantly. Oh, that's so clever. Top tip for the dentist chair there.

Speaker 3 (14:29):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (14:30):

But I guess that's the thing with singing as well, isn't it kind of takes your mind off all the things that might be aching or paining or whatever.

Becs Frank (14:36):

And you are in the moment, aren't you? And you can't, yeah, definitely mind's not going to be wandering off and yeah, I used to do a little bit of singing in a choir. Did you a school choir? It was a parents and kids when my kids were in primary school and I used to love it. It was on a Monday morning and it kind of really cheered me up on a Monday.

Lisa Sykes (14:56):

Oh, I

Becs Frank (14:57):

Bet. We all felt it's really nice singing with all the kids as well. So it's something I do think about.

Lisa Sykes (15:02):

Well it's worth reminding everyone that we publish a playlist in every issue with the Mac. That's right. And yeah, our deputy editor Francis compiles them. But I think they're some of the most animated conversations we ever have as a team, aren't they? When we all contribute ideas to the playlist, then there's a bit of scathing about some suggestions and other ones are like, oh

Speaker 3 (15:25):

Yeah,

Lisa Sykes (15:25):

And all the different music tastes.

Becs Frank (15:27):

Absolutely. Yeah. But Francis always seems to come bring together this great playlist that I often listen to them and have them on in the car and I'll know most of them. And they're really good sing-alongs

Lisa Sykes (15:39):

As well. Definitely the best road trips though with the kids when you're singing Abba in the car, it is really hard to beat a good song.

Speaker 3 (15:47):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (15:47):

Well it's time to take a break now. We're going to pop the kettle on and or perhaps even take it outside if it's sunny. We publish an original short story in every issue of the magazine. And the story I've chosen for this episode is about understanding and appreciating what makes other people happy. Happiness is a short story by Anne Youngson. All I could hear was the clicking of Aunt Lewis's false teeth above the noise of the cafe. She had eaten every cake from the three-tiered stand in front of us and was looking at something behind my right shoulder absentmindedly tapping her upper against her lower set. Her boucle jacket was too tight. The material straining between the buttonhole to form the shape of the mouth from Edward Chester's scream. The rest of her was as unlike the figure in the painting as it was possible to be.

(16:40):

Aunt Lois had always been both contented and fat. It was looking at her that I learned the importance of controlling my weight. She likes her food, don't beg grd it to her. My mother said, when I complained about having to watch her eat in the cafe, I became aware that my aunt was sighing. I still staring into the room behind me. I did not look round already. The sight of her natural pearly teeth sinking into her Claire, and then my e claire into her fondant, fancy my fondant, fancy had made me feel slightly sick. Aunt Lewis had never married, couldn't lift her head out of the trough long enough to make a conversation my father said. But she had a talent, a mysterious talent for numbers, particularly those with pound signs in front of them. She had started with a job in the city doing something too dull to be discussed and then a bigger job.

(17:29):

Then strangely seemed she owned the firm. She was now as rich as she was fat. And the family had stopped patronising her and started trying to make her happy. Easy said my father, take her out to tea. And here I was watching her and thinking if I didn't care about being thin, I could take pleasure in eating, have at least three hits of joy every 24 hours if only I never had to look in a mirror. Aunt Louis's eyes were still fixed on something I could not see. Maybe I thought she was looking at the food on someone else's plate, something unique and exquisite, even now being put into someone else's mouth and making her salivate. I looked round, there was nothing to see except more tables, the same cakes. What were you looking at? I asked, not looking at dear, thinking about, I was thinking about my roto hypoxy.

(18:19):

All I knew about Aunt Lewis was that she worked with figures and loved food. I attempted to fit this unfamiliar word into one of these two categories. Does it taste nice? I asked. She smiled and swiped her napkin over the cake crumbs clinging to her knobbly jacket. No, she said, you don't eat it. You care for it, nurture it. And if you're lucky, it rewards you with flowers. When it flowers, it is beautiful. And beauty is like food. It makes me happy. As she wrote down the name of this unfamiliar plant for me, she added and I believe in being happy. I looked up Rhoda Hypoxy. She was right. It is beautiful. I looked Aunt Lois up too and found she was as well known to total strangers for her expertise in alpine plants as she was to us for her love of food. I think I may have more to learn from my fat, but contented Aunt Lewis, I may have been looking in the wrong direction, putting the wrong things on the scales.

(19:21):

So there are lots of ways to take a moment in your day and reading or listening to a story is one of them. But you might also like to try pause, which is the subscription box from mind that arrives in your letterbox with a mindful activity each month. Now Becks and I really enjoyed the orig army we got in our first one. And I'm never at my most def with my fingers, but it is very satisfying to follow an expert's instructions and make something you've never done before. You can find out more about the pause box@pauseformind.org uk slash simple. And the link is also in our app description. So as you've realised, Bex and I are discussing things that make your heart sing today. And we both agree that looking back to what we enjoyed as children gives you a good clue to what will still appeal now. Isn't that right, Bex?

Becs Frank (20:03):

Yeah, that's right. And it's funny you should mention that in the origami because I used to love doing things like that when I was a child, and it really did remind me of that while I was doing it. I used to buy those kind of special books and magazines that had kind of projects like that in them. And it was just all the kind of pretty patterns and the paper I thought really handling the paper was really nice. I enjoyed it.

Lisa Sykes (20:23):

Yeah,

Becs Frank (20:23):

Yeah,

Lisa Sykes (20:24):

It's really tactile, isn't it? And drawing and colouring and all that.

Becs Frank (20:27):

Yes, exactly.

Lisa Sykes (20:28):

But then outdoor things. I mean, I was never indoors from springy to autumn. It felt when I remember my childhood.

Becs Frank (20:36):

Yeah, yeah. Lots of my most happiest, most things that I can really visualise and smell the smells and hear the sounds. Whereas I was outside probably in the peak district with my family paddling barefoot, never had any shoes on straight into the streams. Icy cold, but it didn't matter. Climbing trees, swimming in the sea, it was just great fun.

Lisa Sykes (20:58):

Oh yeah, I know. And that thing about being barefoot, so oh, you can give it words like grounding and sensory and all that stuff, but actually you just did it as a kid without even thinking about it because it felt good. And now I'm quite self-conscious about it now.

Becs Frank (21:15):

Yeah, I know. I do it in the garden a little bit more now. I mean it has to be dry ish to be honest, but it does feel really nice to feel the grass and cold beneath your feet, doesn't it?

Lisa Sykes (21:28):

Yeah,

Becs Frank (21:29):

I know. And not care about the dirt.

Lisa Sykes (21:31):

In fact, I'm definitely going to do more of that this summer. It is time to get the shoes off I think.

Becs Frank (21:36):

Yeah. Yeah. And what about you, Lisa? What would be the things that you Oh,

Lisa Sykes (21:40):

Well, I mean all, like you've said, running down sand dunes, running down hills, all those sort of adventurous things, but things like I've talked about it before. So I did lots of dancing as a child. I did a lot of ballet and jazz and tap. Yes, of course. And really it was more than a hobby, it was just kind of our way of life. We did it several times a week. We did competitions and ballet exams and shows and all that. But actually I've taken in ballet up again as an adult. And actually ballet was never my favourite thing as a kid. It was a bit boring compared to doing jazz and stuff. But actually now ballet, I'm better at it now because I'm more precise with my body and just finding the positions and it's really stilling and it's really calming, but also really intense concentration. So I really get a lot out of it now. And it's something from my childhood

Becs Frank (22:35):

That's such a great form of

Lisa Sykes (22:36):

Exercise. Yeah, that's come through. And bike rides, of course. Bike rides are always still great, aren't they? But I know we've talked about those before, but what about climbing trees though?

Speaker 3 (22:45):

Oh yes, definitely. I

Lisa Sykes (22:47):

Used to climb trees all the time. Me too. I mean, my mum was always telling me off, rip my trousers on things and just would never be. And I did it with my kids when they were small. They really love it. If you get into the tree as well, they want you to join in, don't they? Because don't expect it, do they? But you know what? I'm not sure I could actually climb a tree now. I had to climb on a high stool for something the other day and I actually got a little bit stuck. My legs just wouldn't push me all the way up. Did you? Yeah. And I was so embarrassed, even though it was just me in the kitchen by myself. And it makes you realise how much strength you lose though.

Becs Frank (23:25):

Yeah. Which is probably a good reason to do it.

Lisa Sykes (23:28):

Yeah,

Becs Frank (23:28):

Maybe not. We don't have to climb a trip. But there is something really nice about getting up high, isn't it? Oh, definitely. And getting a different perspective. So I was talking about earlier, the early morning thing. The thing that actually inspired me with the early morning was a walk that I did up to a top of Salisbury Hill, which is near where I live. And it was incredible to kind of be up there. It's not a huge hill, it didn't take a very long time. It's probably like a 5K in total round walk.

Lisa Sykes (23:56):

And this was at sunrise, was it?

Becs Frank (23:57):

It was at sunrise. And then we had this incredible vista, this 360 degree vista of the city and the surrounds. But it just made me think about when we've written about this before, haven't we? About how being up high and we like it don't like seeing sunrises and sunsets and it just give you a different perspective on things. It helps to clear the mind.

Lisa Sykes (24:19):

Well, it's that thing that, it's that thing about letting your eyes roam as well, isn't it?

Becs Frank (24:23):

Yes.

Lisa Sykes (24:24):

The tyranny of devices means we all spend so much time looking down.

Speaker 3 (24:29):

Yeah, exactly.

Lisa Sykes (24:30):

And I read something, again, I think it was a piece in our magazine, we're just full of good advice, aren't we? And it was saying that one way to kind of reset your brain from looking down and use your eyes differently. So if you walk backwards and look up as you walk backwards, it slows down all your coordination and improves your balance and posture, but also gives you a totally different perspective, doesn't it?

Speaker 3 (24:53):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (24:53):

When you go to an art gallery, you

Speaker 3 (24:55):

Are looking up

Lisa Sykes (24:56):

And you let your eye roam across canvases. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess stargazing, it's that whole making space for all thing, isn't it? But apparently not focusing on one constellation, but on the whole vista. And then of course you contemplate what it is to be part of a big universe and all that stuff. You

Becs Frank (25:19):

Can't really help but do that, can you? No. And then cloud spotting as well. I like that.

Lisa Sykes (25:24):

Oh yeah.

Becs Frank (25:25):

So you'll be laying down on the grass or on a rug and just letting yourself find shapes in the clouds and just watching them drift by. Oh,

Lisa Sykes (25:35):

Definitely. Those things like cloud spotting and they're actually proven ways to make you happy. Because a few years ago, do you remember, we produced these so on patches and they were called happiness patches and they were things like Climber Hill make campfire watch clouds. But we base them on some actual research that the new economics Foundation, a think tank had done this research about everyday actions and how you can improve your wellbeing, but also be happy. And funny enough, actually mind based their pause subscription box idea on exactly the same research. And they're essentially five things that make you happy. And I keep these little lists actually, because sometimes if you feel a bit imbalanced in your life and you think I need to do more of X or less of whatever, and they're just really good little guidelines. So one is be active, which basically to me means get outdoors. And I think that's number one. The second one is take notice and that's be curious and that's looking up. We have talked about Curious. Yeah, well we've

Becs Frank (26:41):

Talked about that quite a lot.

Lisa Sykes (26:43):

Our curious episode is still available to download if anybody hasn't listened to it and watching clouds. And they keep learning, which is something we do a lot in the magazine, isn't it? Trying something new, never stopping learning really, I think.

Becs Frank (26:58):

Yes,

Lisa Sykes (26:59):

It's important.

Becs Frank (27:00):

Yeah, I love, I know a thing or two series for that.

Lisa Sykes (27:02):

Yes.

Becs Frank (27:03):

And just picking a subject and diving deep, delving into it and just diving deep into it.

Lisa Sykes (27:12):

Yeah, definitely. And the last one, oh, sorry, not the last one, the fourth one is be kind. So doing something else for someone else, doing something nice, joining a group, volunteer Giving and that whole thing. And again, we've talked about this, about looking out as well as in and why it's so important for you. And the last one is connect, which of course is about gathering your friends and investing in your relationships, which is so important isn't it,

Becs Frank (27:40):

Is I don't think there's anything really that you can think about. I can think about that makes my heart sing as much as seeing some really good friends or a really good friend. Can you?

Lisa Sykes (27:51):

No, it is just so tangible. You just come home feeling lighter and brighter and the world's in a better place, didn't you? When you've seen a good friend and you've had a great catchup.

Becs Frank (28:02):

Yeah,

Lisa Sykes (28:03):

Yeah,

Becs Frank (28:03):

Exactly. And there is a lot of research into the importance of our friendships and these connections in our health and our longevity. The blues zones, the areas of the world where they're studying, where people are living to be longer and their health.

Lisa Sykes (28:19):

Oh, interesting. I didn't know they were called that. Yeah.

Becs Frank (28:21):

Longer, healthier lives and a higher percentage of octogenarians than in other areas. And they have found there are several factors, but having a strong social support network is one of the main contributing factors they think to this longevity. So having good friends makes you live longer. Exactly. It makes you happy, it makes you positive, gives you purpose. And I think the thing is that often we were just saying about technology and stuff, great in many ways, and it is really good for connecting with people, but there is nothing quite seeing someone in real life. So you might feel like you're connecting with people because you're liking their pictures or you've responded to a message from them, but you don't really get the same wellbeing benefits as you do from seeing a friend in real life.

Lisa Sykes (29:10):

No, I think that's so true, isn't it? And there are lots of people that I keep in touch with online and I feel like I'm talking to them, but I'm not really talking to them. But we've kind of lost the habit of phoning people, haven't we? But actually getting out and actually seeing people is something that is even better than both in someone in my view.

Becs Frank (29:32):

I mean, a phone call is better than a message, but if someone doesn't live near you, then a phone call is great and you can have a really lovely chat over the phone. But yeah, making a plan or even just getting something in the diary if it's not a friend that lives nearby to you. I have a friend that I've recently reconnected with after we just kind of lost touch and I think neither of us thought that the other one could really be bothered.

Lisa Sykes (29:57):

And

Becs Frank (29:57):

Then we bumped into each other and we had a really kind of honest conversation and both kind of admitted that we were really missing each other and had a really nice evening together. And since then we've been speaking regularly on the phone.

Lisa Sykes (30:08):

Oh, that's sweet.

Becs Frank (30:10):

We don't live in the same city and making plans to just to meet up more often and it's actually made me feel really happy.

Lisa Sykes (30:17):

That's great.

Becs Frank (30:17):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (30:18):

And things confound her, can't they confound her on things and misunderstandings and until you see people, and also you've got those old friends, haven't you? That One of my oldest friends, she lives near where I grew up, so I don't live anywhere near her. And sometimes I might only see her twice a year. It's always within 10 minutes we were still 14. And that's how it is. And you just know it's always going to be like that. But you do have to kind of make an effort, I think, because you can't just, if you never see someone, it doesn't work like that, does it?

Becs Frank (30:51):

No. Not if you never see or never speak to someone. But then there are different friendships of course, because there are also the friends that we might not have known for a long time and it might be a bit more sort of a shared bond. You live in the same place or you do the same hobby or you have children the same

Lisa Sykes (31:06):

Age

Becs Frank (31:06):

And they're really important friendships and connections as well. They do say it's good to have friends that provide you with different things. That sounds a bit strange and you probably wouldn't think of it like that, but if you actually think about your friendships, you probably do have these people in your life anyway. The friends that the old friend that you can literally tell anything to and they won't judge you.

Lisa Sykes (31:27):

Yes.

Becs Frank (31:28):

Then, I dunno, maybe a friend that you kind of find quite motivating and inspiring maybe is a bit more of a mentor. Give you advice. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. And

Lisa Sykes (31:39):

Actually not always are all of those things delivered by one person? Are they?

Becs Frank (31:43):

No.

Lisa Sykes (31:44):

Often you've got a small group of friends and you turn to different friends for different things, don't you? Yes.

Becs Frank (31:49):

You probably do it without even realising it. And also obviously it's just really nice to have play and do fun things with your friends. The things we were saying about that's what you did as children, isn't it? That they were the things that made you love just hanging out and playing games and

Lisa Sykes (32:04):

I know hanging out. Well, you just got together with no plan. Yeah. Did you win? Now you tend to arrange things. You tend to let's have a meal, let's go and do something,

Becs Frank (32:14):

Or let's go and see this exhibition or see this film. Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (32:18):

And instead what we should be doing is just saying, oh, should we just go on a dog walk? Or do you fancy just meeting up or,

Becs Frank (32:25):

Yeah, because just less of an effort, isn't it? And there doesn't have to be a specific reason, so you might wait for something when actually you could just say, oh. Or think just, I really like fancy having a chat with that friend. So I'll just give them a ring and maybe I'll go and drop them a message and maybe I'll join them on their dog walk today. And then you've just spent an hour chatting.

Lisa Sykes (32:41):

Yes. And it's those little things that kind of you squeeze out, don't you, if your busy life.

Becs Frank (32:47):

Yes,

Lisa Sykes (32:47):

Exactly. Whereas the bigger events, you still make an effort to do

Becs Frank (32:51):

And you might feel that you need to cook a special meal or you make a special effort and then you might think, well, I've got a busy week, I haven't got time for that. Whereas if it's just let's take away pizza or something, then there's no effort from either of you, is it? Definitely. It doesn't matter if you've had a busy day.

Lisa Sykes (33:07):

I recently went away with three really old friends and we've been mates for over 30 years, but we've never really spent that much time hanging out because we've always gone somewhere or done something. And we had this whole weekend and we didn't really make many plans and it was brilliant. I think we all really wanted to come back and do it again because it was so familiar, yet we'd never done it before.

Becs Frank (33:27):

Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (33:28):

And so relaxing.

Becs Frank (33:29):

I bet you never stopped talking, did you?

Lisa Sykes (33:31):

Oh, we came back horseback, honestly,

Becs Frank (33:33):

To barely speak. I didn't know I had that much talking. Really. That's such a lovely thing to do. Yeah. And like you said, because you were just somewhere very relaxed, you didn't have an itinerary you could do that. You could just do whatever you felt like doing and sit out in the sunshine and talk to each other.

Lisa Sykes (33:50):

Oh, I'm feeling happier already. Did you play any games? Oh, we did play a few games, obviously. Yeah. But most of it was talk, to be fair. But yes. Anyway, takeaway from our chat today, it's do more things that make you happy, isn't it?

Speaker 3 (34:03):

Yes.

Lisa Sykes (34:04):

Isn't that what we're saying? Really? And we always set some intentions. We've got into the habit of doing this. I think it's really good. I am going to set the intention of planting everything I have.

Speaker 3 (34:15):

Oh, wow.

Lisa Sykes (34:15):

Because I love things. When things grow, it makes me really happy. Things that I've planted, but I've got too many plants that I bought and just left that in a pot or

Speaker 3 (34:24):

Oh, I do that all the time.

Lisa Sykes (34:26):

And seeds that I'm sown and bulbs that I haven't planted, I'm just going to plant everything this weekend and then watch what happens. Go for it. Hope it doesn't rain. Oh yeah, I'm out there. Whatever, whatever. How about you? What's your intention?

Becs Frank (34:42):

Well, following on from my getting up early, I do really think it's affecting my mood and my energy levels in a great way. So I am going to get out of the house and go for a dawn walk once a week. Oh, that is while the weather, while it's nice and light. That is an intention. Yeah, that's my intention. Yeah.

Lisa Sykes (35:00):

I'm going to check up with you on that bit or if I can once a week. Yeah, no, no, it's good though. It's nice. No pressure though. No pressure. No, no, no pressure. But on these happy notes, we're going to leave you hopefully with a few ideas of your own perhaps for your own could do list that will help you note and notice and enjoy spring. Now it's finally here. It's time to say goodbye for now. To Bex goodbye. Thanks again. Thank you Bex. And it's been a pleasure to hang out with Bex and Joley in season two. If you missed any of our episodes in our spring tonic selection, you can still download them from your podcast app and don't forget to follow us so you'll be notified when the next season is ready to listen to. And on that, we're going to be back later in the summer with an r and r vibe that's rest and recreation as opposed to rock and roll.

(35:44):

But thank you so much for your support. If you enjoyed our podcast, but you haven't tried the magazine yet, we've got a great subscription offer and the link is in our app description or you can do it via our website, the simple things.com. And lastly, a big thank you and a final plug for pause, the subscription box for mental health charity, which has supported this season. Remember, your donation sees you receive a monthly box of calming activities while supporting the charity's work, and you can find out more for the last time@pauseformind.org.uk slash simple. Thanks very much for joining us and for listening. See you soon. Bye.