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Real Lives of Real Estate w/ Brendan Da Silva
Welcome to the Real Lives of Real Estate, a brand new real estate podcast unlike any other. Your host is the #1 Realtor in Newark, NJ, Brendan Da Silva, and every week he interviews real estate professionals about how working in the industry has affected their lives and stories.
Real Lives of Real Estate w/ Brendan Da Silva
From Instability to Real Estate Industry Leader with Naeem Boucher
Have you ever felt the ground shift beneath you, not from an earthquake, but from the tremors of life's uncertainties? My friend Naeem Boucher knows that feeling all too well, navigating a childhood of home transitions and finding stability in the tumultuous world of real estate. Join us as we unravel Naeem's story, where his past is not just a memory but a critical player in his ascent to real estate prominence. Together, we peel back the glossy veneer of the industry to reveal the resilience and determination it takes to cultivate a legacy amidst skyrocketing stakes.
Ever caught yourself wondering how to turn your financial struggles into a story of triumph? This episode promises an expedition through the transformative power of real estate and self-education. Naeem and I dissect the pivotal role that financial literacy plays in empowerment, sharing our own confrontations with student debt and the economic curveballs that life can hurl your way. We celebrate the victories that come from the relentless pursuit of financial freedom and the discipline to save, invest, and carve out a piece of the market for ourselves.
As we burrow deeper into the personal fabric that intertwines with professional success, we examine the intricate dance of trust, relationships, and boundaries. Naeem brings to light the art of maintaining harmony in the push and pull of family ties and finances, a delicate balance that can easily tip into the realm of business transaction. And in the crescendo of our discourse, we uncover the philosophical shift towards Stoicism, a beacon of serenity in the chaos, where staying grounded becomes the ultimate victory. Don't miss this heart-to-heart where wisdom and candid insights come together, painting a portrait of what it truly means to succeed in real estate.
To get more insight on episodes and to apply to be on the show, visit www.BrendanDaSilva.com!
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Me. I feel as though I'm racing against the clock. To be honest, I don't have balance. I feel like I'm playing catch up. Look, concentration at 8%. Property values are now at $500,000. Back in the day, property values were like $70,000, right Like I'm not getting passed down or anything. So I'm trying to create right now. So I really don't have time. What I care about is how can I go out into this world and create a life, build an empire.
Speaker 2:Ladies and gentlemen, we got the one and only Naeem Boucher, a friend of mine, a game changer in the real estate industry, for sure, investor, but, more importantly to me, a friend and a perfect, perfect, perfect candidate for our podcast today, which is the one and only you guys know Real Lives of Real Estate. You have a great story, naeem, that you share quite openly. It's very inspirational. I definitely want to touch about it Briefly more so want to focus on what does it look like to live in real estate world today? Right, and how is like? What does that really mean? Right, people love the IG, but what does it look like in reality? What did you not? Where did you? But what did you grow up in? Did you grow up in a house, an apartment? What did you grow up in?
Speaker 1:I grew up in like different environments, like at one point I was living with my mom, then at one point I was living with my grandma, then at one point I was living in high school, then at one point I was living in college. So I-.
Speaker 2:When you say you were living in high school, you mean you were living in the physical high school space.
Speaker 1:Yeah, al, how does that work? I dorm actually about five minutes down the roof from your state benefit exprap you did, I'll go Saint Benedict's. I went to Saint Benedict's.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, you're a Saint Benedict's man. That is why you're such a great guy. We love Saint Benedict's. Did you graduate from Saint? Benedict's Absolutely oh, nine, brother, this makes so much sense about you. This is why you're so assertive, why you're such a leader, why you have that presence about you. It's cause you're a Saint Benedict's man. I want to return, but we just were there on Friday, it's great school.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's the best school ever. We just went to Convocation or Chapel on Friday morning. Now you know they have the girls there. Yeah, okay, wow.
Speaker 1:I went there for soccer. Actually, I went there for soccer.
Speaker 2:You were a freak of nature soccer player, then they're number one in the country. Number one. Okay, pause, we gotta have ourselves. You got me excited about that. Talk to me about this before you went Saint Benedict's, you know what was real state looking like? Did you live in a house? Did you live in a mansion? Did you live in an apartment? Did you live building?
Speaker 1:So when I was younger, my mom had a house before she got divorced and we lived like it was like a two family house. So there was house in front, there was also house in the back. She owned this. Yes, oh, wow. And then we lived in the house in the back. But then she ended up going through divorce and then the situation started to change and then I started kind of to live with my grandma, but then around that time I ended up going to high school and I ended up dorming in high school. So prior to that we lived at my grandma's house. My grandma came to America from Guyana and then she bought a house in Patterson. We were like a family house.
Speaker 2:Wow, these immigrant women just buying houses. How do they get these houses? How do they do it?
Speaker 1:She worked. My grandma walked from whatever apartment she was living all the way to the hospital. She cleaned hospital rooms and she saved, she saved, she saved. She bought her first property for six kids.
Speaker 2:Was it a multi-family? Multi-family? Did you know that going? Were you aware enough as a kid that you were living in a multi-family? No, so when did it click to you that you lived in a multi-family?
Speaker 1:When I got older, when I got older, how?
Speaker 2:old, do you think?
Speaker 1:She was probably out of college.
Speaker 2:So you didn't realize, boy, I'm in a multi-family till after college.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I never really looked at houses like that until I read a Rich Dad, poor Dad and fully understood why did you move so much of your parents on?
Speaker 2:your mom owned the property.
Speaker 1:It's really all a blur. From what I can remember, we used to live with my grandma at first in her house on the second floor, and then after that my mom ended up getting the house and then we ended up moving there, and then I remember just being kind of tough times and I will always go to my grandma's house. So I will always just kind of like just stay at my grandma's house and we were kind of dealing with stuff at the time and I just remember I would always like to just be with my grandma. My cousin lived there. He was like my brother to me, so I would just be there. And then, yeah, then when I started dorming in high school, what led to that?
Speaker 2:decision that you were like, cause not everyone dorms in St Benedict's? People don't notice St Benedict's amazing school, right, I'm okay. Literally two blocks over, you knew this building better than anybody else, if you think about it. You've driven by this, walked by this a million times. So what led you to one choose St Benedict's? That's the first question, and then two, what led you to choose to live there?
Speaker 1:When I was growing up in Patterson I was kind of forced to play soccer, so that was like their way of keeping me off the streets and out of that environment and I stuck with it. I stuck with it. We ended up being one of the top teams in the country. We won a state cup.
Speaker 1:And then the goal was for the majority of us to go to St Benedict's, because St Benedict's was some old boy school. They were number one school in the country. So I was like, all right, if everyone's going, I'll go. And then when I went it was only me and maybe another one of my teammates. Everyone else didn't come. So then now I'm like, wait, where is everyone? I call my mom, like no one's here, like I'm leaving, like get me out of here. I'm going back to Patterson.
Speaker 1:My mom was like no, you're staying there, my mom's sort of school. She liked it Because she saw, I guess, what they did for young men, especially African American men, black men, and she wanted me to stay. And I said, you know what, I'll just stay. And then it's like an hour commute on the bus and then, um, there's this thing called velvet rope where they kind of let you live in the dorms just to kind of keep kids who may be easily distracted or whatever, just to kind of keep them focused. So I ended up put me in velvet rope so I ended up dorming. But then I was able to leave on a weekend to go back to my grandma's house. So that was kind of like how that happened.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm very familiar with the program. It's really beautiful to me, though, to see like we talked about real estate in terms of houses. Right, you're a realtor and realtor. Usually houses are multi-family buildings, whatever. But, like, same Benedict's is a piece of real estate Ultimately. Right, it was a Benedictine monastery, right. At one point Then I got into real estate here in Newark and I think it's so interesting because there are so many, there's such a variety of uses of real estate and even, you know, there's a school now, right, a private school. Even the way they do the private school, it's just such an impact, whereas if they didn't have that space, that would never exist. Like, for example, if there was a new school that wanted to open up in Newark and do something like they're doing, it would be impossible Financially, it would never be able to afford it. It would be unprecedented, right. Yeah, how could a private school? It would be, and they charge, I think, 19,000 a year, and of the 19,000, the average student only pays like three, four thousand, right.
Speaker 1:It's like free right.
Speaker 2:Essentially not free, but it's like, we're almost like free for a lot of students.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of donors and a lot of dollars.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, that's the one thing we got to give our team. We're like we got to give. How can we not give to these people Like that's? We just feel hard but we can't do so. The point is this there's a great idea, there's a great pragmatic of not only do they use a school to impact and improve life, right, your life but and then you went on to you've impacted my life, you've improved my life, you've impacted, improved the lives of many, but they have housing on the grounds. Yeah, that's a big deal. Don't get it twisted. Wow, okay.
Speaker 1:But the crazy part about that story is that I went. Yeah, I went there for soccer, All right, and I didn't even make varsity until I was a senior. Oh, I'm not surprised.
Speaker 2:So these people are crazy? Yeah, 100%, they're international. International.
Speaker 1:It's ridiculous Like their freshman team could beat other varsity teams. So when I was there, I went for soccer and I, and every day I went feeling like I wasn't good enough. And me, I felt like my only way out of the hood was to become a professional soccer pitcher. Every day was a realization like damn, maybe this isn't it, this isn't it, maybe I should quit. And I stuck. And I stuck through it. I was always upset. I ended up wrestling because I was just literally angry and I actually left as a captain and all American as a wrestler. And I played one game when I was a senior and I scored one goal.
Speaker 2:Hey, the one game that I did play. That was beautiful. So, yeah, I learned a lot to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah yeah, the one thing that I learned there was, I guess, never giving up being persistent, and even though you get told no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no every day, one day you'll get your yes, and when you get your yes, you take advantage of that opportunity.
Speaker 2:I love, I am so happy you're a Saint Benedict's man. I want to send my kid Maverick, when he was up, Saint Benedict.
Speaker 2:It's the best place ever For a school wise now, I've visited a few times. I've met. The reason why I like it is like the caliber of men that it produces. Yeah, like an 18 year old guy from Saint Benedict's, in my opinion, is more mature nowadays than a 20 year old. It's insane, 100%. It's insane, 100%. Okay, so then you went to school at NGIT, right? No, william Patterson University. Oh, you went back to Patterson. That's the Wayne, it's right next to Wayne, it's on the border, it's right there. So, willie P why Willie P?
Speaker 1:Willie P. To be completely honest, I didn't even want to go to college. I didn't even want to go to college. The high school coach calls me into his office and say hey, nye, what do you want to do for college? Honestly, I have no idea. You know when he goes. You want to go? I don't know he goes. Well, there's William Patterson. And then he had the coach actually give me a call. He said, oh, I got this guy. I was right in the office. Hey, I got this guy, nye, very fast. That's all you're saying All this good stuff about me. You only saw me play one game that I thought of. And then the guy goes and says, hey, I want him. And then the guy says that a kid who I played soccer with when I was younger just committed. So because that guy committed, I was like you know what? That's one of my best friends, I'll go and you played at.
Speaker 1:Willie P. Yeah, I played at Willie P All four years.
Speaker 2:Brother, you are a freak athlete. I didn't know this. Now fast forward. You always talk about the story I got to bring it up, about how real is the impact of your life and the moment that always sticks out with me. Tell us about the attic. How did that physical space and I think that's a great idea, Because that's an example of my mind of how physical space can drastically influence our mental psyche- so after college I got my first full-time job, which was coaching soccer, and I was making 30 grand a year.
Speaker 1:But I had student debt and I thought I was making money. I'd never made any money before. So I started wasting my money on nonsense. But, yes, this debt, that that I was managing it okay. But then I ended up leaving with my mom. My mom, I think, ended up. Something happened with her business and then she had to downsize. So then I had like, literally I went to the apartment and then my sister said I am like we're downsizing, you got to go figure out where you're going to go live. So then I'm like, oh wow, I got ended up getting my first apartment. And then my mom actually she left some stuff in my name. So now, whatever money I was making, it was going out the window. I was making money, it was going out the window.
Speaker 1:So now, living in the picture, I'm like, well, something got changed. So then my grandma she had a space in the attic. So literally when I went there, it was full of junk. I went there, cleaned everything out and I bought a full ton and that was my space. So I was just out of college. Everyone I've seen traveling, getting their career jobs, and here I am, living paycheck to paycheck, living in an attic, and I said something's got to change. And I think the moment when I said something's got to change was when I went downstairs to go in my car. I had a hoopty at the time and accurate RXX Someone broke into my car and I didn't have any money to fix the window. So then I broke down on the porch. I was crying, crying, crying, and my sister saw me and I'm like yo, I got nothing and people are trying to take stuff from me. And that was the moment I said all right.
Speaker 1:I got to change my life, like something's got to change. And then I stumbled across personal development. When I was getting a haircut, my barber said something about Jim Rohn. I said you know what I got to lose? And I started searching everything in regards to Jim Rohn and I just started listening to his podcast and watching his videos. And he said something you want to change your life, but you never read a book.
Speaker 1:Richest man in Babylon, rich dad, poor dad. He said you want to be healthy. You don't even walk around the block, you don't eat an apple a day. This is a bunch of different things. I read the book Rich Dad, poor Dad, rich man in Babylon. Then, when I read Rich man in Babylon, the biggest thing was okay, when you make money, make sure a part of all you earn is yours to keep. So, to start with, 10%. The richest man in Babylon that's what he did. He saved money. He saved money. He saved money. Then he invested that money. So I learned that concept.
Speaker 1:Then I read Rich Dad, poor Dad. And then I mean that book pretty much says you can buy a property, you can have multifamily property and you rent it out. The tenants will pay your mortgage and you can actually be left over with what is called cash flow. So when I said, oh my God, what Lightbook went off. So if I can buy 10 houses and make at least $1,000 a month on each house, I can make $10,000 a month. Lightbook went off. I'm like, yeah, pop off, got it, got it, got it. I'm going to live in this goddamn attic. I'm going to sell every goddamn thing. I'm going to drive this goddamn hood. I'm not going to go on vacations. I'm going to save all my money. I'm going to figure out a way to make money. I was coaching soccer. I got a sneaker coaching job on the weekends. I was also substitute teacher. I was doing whatever I can to make more money so I can invest it to buy my first property, buying my first property, and that first property actually made $1,000 a month.
Speaker 2:How make you feel?
Speaker 1:Like I was on the right path. I was locked and I wrote on the door to remind myself every time that I was leaving. A part of all I earned is not to keep Wealth, dream car, house, family real estate. I will overcome my adversity and I will just remind her, because I hated being in the attic. I hated it, but that was my reminder.
Speaker 2:I will overcome adversity. Yes, if you think about it, man, and I want to applaud you, man, by your story for sure, because you did something that very few people do. You just took radical responsibility.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:You could have said people are taking from you, I have nothing right. And you could have just sat there on that porch and never have gotten up. And a lot of people live their whole lives and they never get up off that porch, correct Figuratively. They always just feel bad for themselves. Oh, what was me? What was me? You overcame adversity. Now you tied that to real estate. Now, if we can, I'll fast forward for you guys. I know Naim is at multiple properties. You've bought, you've lost money in real estate. You've made money in real estate. You've made good decisions, bad decisions. You grew a team. You shrunk the team. You grew the team. You're a game changer. You have your Airbnbs right. You do your thing. Naim is a hunter, he is a lion, he is a pack leader. Here's what people don't see and this is why I'm very honored, and I mean you have. I don't know how we even got together the first time. I don't know if you remember. Do you remember how we first got connected?
Speaker 1:Probably a deal, probably a real estate deal.
Speaker 2:Here's what I really want people to see. You've made it. People would be envious of you. I'm very vocal about my position. You know my mental health, that I've had, you know I have I'm diagnosed PTSD, that I have quite a bit of challenge, that I, you know, my life is in clean cuts, how exact. And you know how real estate has, in a way, been like this healthy drug, right, because it's given me a sense of control and it's given me a sense of validation and recognition At the same time. You know it's a double edged sword, right, it's all consuming. It's the same validation you get from others. You want to almost be their savior. So they try to save them and help them and then they burn you and then you're like dang, then it's hard enough to feel like, well, this is personal. They're like this is just business, yeah, yeah. So I, you know all my journeys, I'm very vocal, but I want to hear from you how has real estate, your success in real estate, how has it impacted your personal life For better or worse?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean well for better. Everything that I've ever wanted I've accomplished, Now just a matter of setting bigger goals. But for worse, I kind of hit a point where it's like, cause I've always wanted to help others, right, once I was able to do for myself, I was like, okay, I figured this out. Other people don't know this stuff. So that's why I did what I did on social media, that's why I took my story. The reason why was just to get someone's attention and help someone.
Speaker 1:But what happens when you are attracting people into your life? You know, sometimes, things that can look shiny. You attract good things and also bad things. So I've experienced both. You know, and for me, I'm almost at a point where I'm now trying to filter through what's good and what's bad. I gotta be more aware, because you know the bad things can be bad people looking to take advantage of you, bad people who are jealous and envious of you. You know friends it can be family that are literally just want to take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take until you're jammed up. And then, when it's time for you, you know, hey, you know I need a hand here, and they have nothing to give.
Speaker 1:Yeah thank you, you know so I've learned that this year dramatically you know. So you really gotta do a good job of filtering who's around you. You know, if here's what I've been saying now, if people can't add to your table, then they're only taken away.
Speaker 2:Do you feel as though there's a way to filter out who's gonna be a taker and who's gonna be an adder? And you know, because of my family, for example, you know I love my mother, love my father, all my stuff what I've learned. You know, recently I have a team member. They pay their mom's rent, like, I think, in full or whatever. I'm like what happens if you get sick? Your mom's dependent on you, yeah, yeah, what happens if you don't have enough? Do you understand?
Speaker 2:like you're 22 years old, your mom is a grown woman. She can work for herself. You know, I've got my mom to lease right on the car. We're just buying her the car now, agree, but where? How do you find the line of like this person is dependent on me, they're a taker and I'm helping that person? You know, like, how do you navigate those kinds of things?
Speaker 1:I mean, that's what I'm trying to figure out. You know, that's what I'm trying to figure out right now. I think they come to the point where you got to say no to everything you know, make sure you stabilize yourself and make sure you got everything in order within your house before you can help anyone else.
Speaker 2:Otherwise you're going to over leverage you did say something about your house, though, like it's symbolic, like you got to make sure everything's right in your house, which I agree, make sure you cup a full first. Yes, yeah absolutely. That's the most important thing, but I do got to ask you a question. You said something that was a bold statement. You said I have everything I always wanted. Do you really believe that, now that you have it?
Speaker 2:Everything that I dreamt about in the attic, like Everything that you dreamt about in your soul, whether it was an attic or whether it was child, or whether it was dealt, your soul.
Speaker 1:Well, no, not everything.
Speaker 2:So what do you not have?
Speaker 1:I would say something that I fully fully trust.
Speaker 2:You have no one that you fully trust. No one. What would it look like to fully trust somebody?
Speaker 1:You got to trust someone blindly. You know you got to be able to trust someone blindly. You know, like someone that you know and they know you. You're aligned, you support them, they support you. You're not looking to take from them like you just want to see each other win. You know, and it kind of reminds me of I hate to bring them up, but the relationship between the tape brothers you know Like they blindly trust each other.
Speaker 1:You know that's true and you don't really see that into the society. You know Divorce is what 80% of marriages?
Speaker 2:Does the numbers just keep going?
Speaker 1:up Divorce right. The numbers are going up.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like you are a person, someone could fully trust?
Speaker 1:I would say 100%, 100%.
Speaker 2:Who would you say 100% trust you today?
Speaker 1:Off the top of my head, I would say one of my best friends. His name is James.
Speaker 2:James. How do you know him?
Speaker 1:James Capper the wheelchair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the lender, the lender, yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:You know, my lender and me are very close, carlos Do you know, I always have a challenge with him.
Speaker 2:My Carlos, forget it, keep on, morgge it. I love you, shout you out. I always, always, always have a challenge, because any person I make money with, I have one thing in my head the moment we make money together, the moment our relationship has now changed, the moment that I provide a good of service that makes you money, our relationship has now changed. Now I have a friend who I've been like coaching up and he's making all money separate from me. Relationship's still the same, but the moment that I make money with you, the relationship is very different. I can't understand that. Oh well, for sure you're not naive. You've gone through it. We just talked before. You've been burned. I've been burned, right, but what happens with my lender is always like.
Speaker 2:I always have to remind myself yes, this man is my friend, yes, I trust this man, and if I stopped being in real estate today, I shouldn't expect him to take my calls. The same way, I shouldn't expect him to put his neck on the line for me. That's the truth. I understand that, and the same thing could you and James. You guys know each other from real estate, right? Yes, so if you start getting real estate, you don't have any more deals to send him. You're not promoting any other agents to him. You guys drift. It's reasonable that he would like you and him would be as close as you are now.
Speaker 1:I'd like to think so. I like to think so. That's a great question.
Speaker 2:I would love, I love to think. So I'm telling you in reality. And the way you gotta know is you gotta ask James, hey, are there any other realtories in the business that you still stay in touch with?
Speaker 1:And that's how you'll know, that's how you'll know no, but I'll say, yeah, I'll say.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying any bad by him, just like Carlos, I give everyone the chance until they kind of like prove me otherwise.
Speaker 1:You know, like I kind of and I don't want to give everyone just the chance I'm a real isolated person, massively isolated.
Speaker 2:That's why, when you were being close, I'm almost like I'm shocked I earned this. I'm like somehow I allow you to give me access. But the same thing with Carlos. I will tell you the same thing. I've given Carlos many chances. Now me and Carlos have been together for seven years and I'm telling you like now, only now, seven years into, I would truly say like okay, he's like my brother, like he's someone who I can trust. But it's been seven years, many deals. He could have screwed me on Many times. He could have taken the shortcuts I would never have known.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing when me and James met each other, I was a soccer coach and he told me quit the soccer. You could do well in real estate. He wasn't as successful as he was in mortgages. You know he probably just made his first six figures.
Speaker 2:Oh well, so he's just ahead of you.
Speaker 1:Exactly, he was just ahead of me, all right, and he added value to me by introducing me to people in the industry, and I was able to add value back because, as I started to grow, we grew together Right. So it was always an exchange of value.
Speaker 2:Do you know where you are with him? You're a comrade, that's what it is. So there's three things TDJ says he's like a confidant comrade and a constituent Somebody like that Like a confidant, is like my, literally my brother Brian or my brother Bruce.
Speaker 2:There are people who are on mission together and even if we're wearing on mission together, we are like I trust it. He's like a mafioso, Like he's my number two guy, right? He's my captain, right. Yeah, Trust this guy. Boom, that's my confidant, right. That's it. I got very few. You get two or three of those in your life. You're lucky right. Then you have your comrades. Comrades are people in the trenches with you. They're the ones. Pop, pop, pop, pop pop. That's what you and James have. You guys are in the trenches. You guys got into the military. He was maybe one or two degrees, one or two ranking higher than you and you worked up the ranks together.
Speaker 2:Now you're still fighting the Nazis, You're fighting the Nazis, so of course you're close and this is my brother in arms right and then, like the constituents are people who you just passed by and you say, hey, what's good, not against them, but you're not going to break bread with us, exactly OK, wow, ok, gotcha, so OK. So you would say he fully trust you One percent. Ok, gotcha, wow, I love that. Any women in the house he's like. No women trust me, no, but that's why I was going to ask you two, because you have, because right now you're single or you're dating, or you're single Single. Ok, ladies, he's single. No, but he's a single guy. And is there any point in the attic that you came across your mind? Hey, I want to be a family man, I want to be a husband, absolutely OK, talk to me about that. And how has real estate impacted that?
Speaker 1:Well, the whole reason for real estate is generational wealth. All right, so you need something to pass down to. So obviously I would love to be with someone who was with me when I had absolutely nothing. You know, in the trench with me and believed in me and just could support me. And then I go out into the world go figure it out. And then I know that she was with me when I had absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2:It's a trust check. It's a trust check, you know.
Speaker 1:I mean now, that is pretty much. You know, it's impossible, impossible.
Speaker 2:But could you hide it? You only you could hide it.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. Yes, yes, yes, yes. There's ways to do that, there's ways to do that, but that way it would have been a little bit better. I would like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if she was sleeping with you in the attic, then it's OK. Now you can sleep with me in the loft.
Speaker 1:But there's ways to you know, I guess you know I guess find someone else that is like you know, on their own path. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure that part out, but you do need to have a companionship. You know someone to you know, because I do want to some one day. You know my last thing to carry on the property that I bought and I worked so hard for all the lessons that I've learned, you know I would be doing the world. I feel a dishonor about not having a younger, better version of me to continue to grow and inspire and you know, just be a good person, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think you'd be. You would make a really good act.
Speaker 1:You have a lot of love to give.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You would be a really good act. You just have so much love to give. I think you'd be stern but also like you would just really support 100%. You'd be like you've got to do better. But you know what I love you, I have your back. Whatever you need, son, you would never like I feel like you'd be great. Well, how would you say the real estate has impacted your dating life? Like, do you think your dating life would be different if you weren't in real estate?
Speaker 1:Probably yes.
Speaker 2:How so.
Speaker 1:Because I'm so focused, I'm so driven. Sometimes it can kind of come off like self-centered, but that's not it is. I just feel like I have a big purpose, you know, and you know, I guess when you're dating a woman, they want their attention, you know. So you got to have good balance, and me, I feel as though I'm racing against a clock. To be honest, I don't have balance. I feel like I feel like I'm playing catch up. Right, look, interest ratio at 8%. Property values are now at $500,000. Back in the day, property values are like $70,000. Right, I'm not getting passed down or anything. So I'm trying to create right now. So I really don't have time. I don't even know how people do it. They're on dating apps, swiping left, swiping right. I don't care what your favorite color is. I'm sorry, I truly don't, and I mean that respectfully. What I care about is how can I go out into this world and create a life, build an empire and have someone that trusts me to go out into the world and do that?
Speaker 2:OK, so it sounds like basically your dating life is affected by real estate because you're just so busy, you're so in demand. There are people who, respectfully, are like 100 times busier than you right, you would say right, millions times busier than me but they find time to date, they find time to be husbands, they find they make it. They make time Give me who. That is like a relationship and doing well. I would say Gary Keller, the goat. This guy yeah, he had divorced his wife, cheated on him with his business partner.
Speaker 1:OK, so my first one didn't work out. The first one didn't work out.
Speaker 2:The wife cheated, it was something like that. And then he tried to make it work and then didn't work. And then the second one. Now they have an excellent marriage and even myself, dude, I did very well as close to seven figure earner as he gets and I ultimately have my wife. We have a thriving marriage, we have a one year old son, we have a great life and it's definitely doable.
Speaker 1:But I would say this Gary Keller's first one didn't work out, but now he has a better relationship. But I bet you did. They work on it every day. Every day, you have to work on it, even your relationship.
Speaker 2:Every day you're working on it. I'm taking my wife on day night tonight.
Speaker 1:Oh, we don't play, so it takes two right, so it takes two you got to be able to work on it.
Speaker 2:There's no way you're too busy to have that.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not too busy. Someone has to be worth that.
Speaker 2:But how do you know when someone's worth that?
Speaker 1:Hey man, we both got to come to the table.
Speaker 2:But what would a woman whose worth I look like, trustworthy, trustworthy?
Speaker 1:Loyalty, loyalty, supportive. What does supportive look like to you? I would say supportive is knowing that today's probably going to be a bad day. And how can I make this guy's day a little bit easier, maybe I know this guy doesn't eat at all. He just wakes up and work, have breakfast, or don't you have to have breakfast?
Speaker 2:Just trying to find a Nurturing it's a nurturing, nurturing. I think nurturing is the word you want. Nurturing, nurturing. It's not supportive. She's not looking at you building an empire with you. You want someone to nurture you while you build.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, ok got you, yes, nurturing.
Speaker 2:OK, are you looking for, as they say, what's called? What is that thing? The very popular? My brother sent me that in Instagram a boss chick. I think it's a new term like boss chick, boss lady. You're not looking for a boss chick, you're looking for a nurturing woman. That's what it seems like.
Speaker 1:I mean she could be a boss chick in nurturing I don't know.
Speaker 2:Do you know many boss chicks who are nurturing?
Speaker 1:And hey Name one of those. Hey, I didn't say it, don't cancel me now.
Speaker 2:Anything wrong.
Speaker 1:It's also this it's not either, or it could be, and you could be boss chick in certain areas your life and then be nurturing other areas. You can do both.
Speaker 2:But it's very hard to be both in the same place. Ok, so what kind of advice would you give one year ago, Naim, in terms of interpersonal relationships, friendships, family, romantic? What kind of advice would you give as it relates to how real estate's been in the middle of it? Financial success has been in the middle of it?
Speaker 1:I probably, and the crazy part is that, because I do this, but I would have a line right Like a clear line between the family time and business time, and just doing a good job of being there for family, not necessarily overly doing it financially, but just being there and then, at the same time, having a clear way of saying no, because sometimes family, because they're family, they feel as though they can ask you for things that most people can't. So I did, you know, just doing a better job of saying no. I would say that, as for relationships, I would always just say stay focused on your purpose and are you with someone who supports, that, believes in that vision and cannot distract you and take you off that path, and can they come along and be a part of it.
Speaker 2:Wow, okay, about the family. I wanna just touch there for a second before I forget I also I grew up low income, my family, all these good things. Recently, my mom I've helped out my mom in the past, right, whatever just like my dad helped them out, helped them out here and there, here and there. What I realized is I was actually hurting myself and I was hurting my mom Because what I did is I destroyed the relationship of mother, son and now just person who I put on person and me, and it's really not two ways. So we can't have a conversation or we can't hang out for more than 30 minutes an hour without talking about real estate. So I've lost a mom and gained an employee, and an employee is much cheaper than a mother. So what I've done basically is I did two things. One, I put my mom on. I helped my mom build cleaning business. She's totally on for it and I've literally once almost fired my mom, literally. I'm not kidding. You Said mom, you're fired, she, we negotiate, negotiate, negotiate. That's. My mother Said great, here's what you can do. Here's the KPIs. I'm never gonna talk to you about this again. You're only gonna talk to Savannah, my. She manages all the Airbnb's. That's a connection. Savannah, she's amazing, unbelievable. And so Savannah and my mom, they work it out. Now, when I talk to my mom, maybe we'll bring up the Airbnb stuff once or two, maybe once a month, maybe for like, just a quick little. Oh, how are you doing with that? Oh, I'm doing good, great, happy for you, right? My mom now she has a steady income, so she's put on.
Speaker 2:But what I've learned is that I can either have an employee or I can have a family member. I can either have a business partner or I can have a family member and we come. We have, like, risen our way up. So we love each people, right? You love people, I see it, and you want to bring everybody with you. What I've determined is I bring nobody with me. If you want to come with me, the door is open. If you don't, I'm not putting you on my team. Like one thing. I was admired by you, but I gotta be honest, I've always like was like holy crap, no way Is that. You have, like your family members on your team, right? Don't? You think I'm not gonna make sisters a realtor with?
Speaker 1:you right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and a lot of respect for her and nothing bad like power powerhouse, you know, voucher properties, you guys rock right. I'm not saying anything negative but bluntly I'm like I would never do that. Like my brother-in-law almost became my lender and I now realize I'm like, oh, that would have been a horrible thing Because I've had close, close, close. I've had team members that become close friends and then we had conflict and they went off and man that killed me.
Speaker 1:That killed me. That mattered with the family.
Speaker 2:Oh, and I imagine with the family, Imagine Even with family with money. Anytime I give family member money or friend money, can I tell you what I think in my head? I gave it away. Oh, I gave recently someone a loan, substantial. My opinion was like 30K right, they need a bad spot. I say 30K, it's a business deal, so I cannot loan this person the money. I cannot loan this person the money. But they were in a horrible spot. There was no other option. They found themselves in a pickle. There was no other way. Period. I thought to myself what am I going to do? This person is a very close friend of mine. If I loaned them this money and they never give back, am I OK with that? Would I ever ask them for it? Would I hear about it? I said I'm going to give them the money. I give them money. I said if you can one day pay me back. Now I put myself in bad situation there Because I even expected them. Maybe I hope for them to pay me back.
Speaker 2:They had paid me back, so it wasn't a big deal Very good.
Speaker 2:But still, dude, that was a horrible thing I did, why I jeopardized the friendship over some money. So for me, man, I've just determined I'm never putting anybody on in financial again. I'm always willing to pay for you. Happily, recently even my sister she asked me to babysit my niece, or she asked me to babysit my niece, or no? I wasn't. That I'm sorry. My friends asked me to move, so can you help me move my stuff from New Jersey to New York? He's moved to New York, said I can't help it, I can send someone. I'll pay someone to help you move. I'm more than happy. I'm more than happy. You see, I'm very busy. I do not have the time. The time I want with you is I want a high quality time. I'm not looking for labor sometime. I'm not picking up with the truck. There's fine boundaries on everything and I find I don't know how you do it, like how do you coach your sister, for example, in your business?
Speaker 1:Well, recently, what it is. It's just a matter of just identifying what she wants right, or anyone wants Right, because what I want is completely different from what any like what my sister wants.
Speaker 2:But you're giving your sister opportunity. You're giving your sister leads You're giving your sister, your reputation, your brand. You're giving her your time. How do you maintain a sister-brother relationship when you have deals in the pipeline?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's tough, man, I'm not going to. It's very tough, but for me I rather. I have to decide, I truly have to decide and I rather.
Speaker 2:Decide between what.
Speaker 1:I rather see my sister hit her goals, whatever that may be, rather than and I hate to say it like being a better brother.
Speaker 2:I would say being a brother, because the moment you hire someone you're no longer the brother, unless you want a miserable working relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So it's almost like and I say it to my sister all the time Like I feel like at times I'm sacrificing myself. Oh, yeah, yeah, you yeah, 100%, 100%.
Speaker 2:And real estate. That's why I feel like it's done with you. It's made you sacrifice yourself. It's made you like you put others before yourself so often and then I know where you like wow that. And you say, ok, I'm just going to do me right now. Burn the world, like you said before. You said I'm a war with the world.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I didn't want to do this podcast you didn't want to do the podcast.
Speaker 2:I can't believe I got you on the podcast. What got you on the podcast? Because you did say I'm a war with the world. I don't want to do the podcast, brandon Adios. How did you? What made you want to come on the podcast? Share your story, encourage people to what it really looks like the messiness, the goodness and the bad of real estate life.
Speaker 1:Because people have this misconception, right, people have this misconception where they think they see something from the outside but they have no idea what's really going on the inside. And I've always been very transparent. So I've always been very transparent and I'm not afraid to say that. You know what? Oh yeah, you're overbooked. I'm going through stuff right now and it's adversity and it sucks, it's painful, and it's painful because it was caused by people that I've attracted and that people not even the attractive people that I wanted to help and I've had to learn these lessons. So I'm going to learn these lessons. We're going to remember this moment. I'm actually doing a YouTube about this Like this moment I've documented five months ago Wow, Five months ago. I've documented. I'm literally documenting everything that kind of has happened and the adversities I'm going to go through, and I'm going to document me getting out of it, because I'm not a quitter.
Speaker 1:Right, you're overcoming adversity, and there's ups, there's downs. Are you learning the lessons and are you going to never stop to give up on whatever it is? You know in me, whatever it is, whatever next, is the better version of Nain. I got to go, so I got to go through these lessons. I got to feel this pain Because the Nain in the future is counting on me to never give up, to learn these lessons, to be a better version of myself.
Speaker 2:You know what St Benedict says, one of their phrases that I saw on one of the walls never do for a man what a man can do for himself. As I see you pulling yourself out of adversity, I'm here applauding you. I encourage them. A resource. But as I think of what you do for others, I think that's the word I'd encourage you with. Real estate has given you the capacity to pull others out. However, pulling others out, you're robbing them of the truth, of whether or not they are a person who will get out. I agree, your sister. She can achieve her goals. I hate to tell you you're not that special. Do you know I'm not that special. Do you know, if you take one of my team members and they work with you, do you know what would happen? They would thrive. We're not. We're not unicorns out here. We're not. You know the Ali Damla, the Ali Dhamma, the Ali, the Ali Dhamma. I messed up the A. The point is this your sister, you could refer her to me. If I had my sister, I could refer her to you.
Speaker 2:Say, hey, I know this guy, I trust him, I want you to swim with him, go, and I think, after what I've done with my family, everything I've seen with my close friends. I got one of my friends in the real estate the lending business. It was a disaster. I pushed him, I pushed him, I pushed him. He ended up listening to my advice. It was one of the worst decisions I ever did. It really messed them up. A year later he went back to the shop. It was not. It wasn't a lion or anything like that. Well, you're a hunter, you know what his problem was. He wasn't. It wasn't meant for him. Yeah, he had the goals that you mean you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny. Um, one of my mentors he now tells me and it's funny, during different stages of your life you meet different mentors. Um, so one of my mentors right now he says to me uh guys, like a multi-multi-millionaire, he says, now you have a responsibility. Even if you meet a stranger on the street, right, and if you get that stranger, let's say, a hundred dollars, and that stranger ends up taking drugs or whatever, then he kills himself and dies and overdosed. Oh my gracious, very dark story. But the point is like you, you, you have a responsibility. So, even when, if you create an opportunity for, say, some 18 year old, right, and you'd bring him on your, on your team, and he makes his first six figures.
Speaker 1:And this kid now gets lost in the life and the girls and the drinking and whatever needy or his ego is way out of check.
Speaker 2:He was way out of check and he now you're drinking right.
Speaker 1:So in some form you're responsible. Now that guy obviously has to, or whoever they hit their, their own person, they got to hold themselves accountable, but you're still responsible.
Speaker 2:You have a lot of responsibility. Yeah, I agree, you influenced it, so you take the responsibility. Yeah. And even if it's not full influence, you still were a part of it.
Speaker 1:Yes, so, with the mistakes that I've made with the people that I've been trying to help, um, I understand that I'm accountable and I was also responsible.
Speaker 2:What would you say is one way real estate has impacted you that if you had known it, you probably wouldn't have gotten into the industry.
Speaker 1:That you have to work with people that you want the best for and they don't want the best for you, because wherever they are in their life and I get it they're they're focused on themselves. I was telling you before we hop on this podcast, like, look, you know, I come from absolutely nothing. Once I made my first six figures, it was all bonus, yeah.
Speaker 2:It was all bonus, you know and you know I own property.
Speaker 1:Now I had passive income and and and I say this respectfully, I say this all the time where like, look like you know, if I didn't want to sell real estate anymore and I just want to be okay and comfortable, and you know I can do that, you know, but that's not my purpose. So you know I have big potential and you know I want to keep going. But people that come into your life and they see you doing well and they can look at you and like, oh, you know, I just got it. You know a little bit of envy, you know, I was just, I was just got thinking. You know a little bit of that.
Speaker 2:I don't want to be around that you know, and you think that would have really like all the pain that's caused you. You think that would have really deterred you. You would have thought twice. You're like man.
Speaker 1:I got to figure out a way around this. Yes, yes, yes, I would have deterred that because I, because I was blind. I thought that you know, hey, I, everyone knows I come from nothing. I want to help everyone. So I thought that you know, like kind of like Robin Hood, you know like when, Robin Hood you know he took from the, he took from the wealthy that he gave to the people you know.
Speaker 2:So I yeah, it doesn't work like that, yeah it doesn't, it really doesn't, it really doesn't. It's a harsh reality. But how will do you now Naim 32. 32. You learned a 32. With some men learn a 52.
Speaker 1:Yes, some grateful for the lesson, though.
Speaker 2:It's challenging. An encouragement I give you is do not allow your heart to become so callous.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and that's and that's the hard part Engarded. The best thing you can do, in my opinion, is like you already have the mentor. I always recommend everyone get counseling. Yeah, if you are not in counseling weekly because a majority of men, like in our position, who came from nothing, drove up so quickly, young we're all. In my opinion, we're over-competiting for some level of trauma or abandonment or insecurity. Yes, yes, yes. So at a certain point, okay, great, now wake up. Right, we got, we got to love ourselves. At a certain point, you got to love yourself, I agree. At a certain point you got to realize, dang, life is more meaningful if I allow people in, and I cannot allow people in if I hate what's within.
Speaker 2:I had this realtor friend in New York baller. He talks about his defining moment in his life, just like me and you. He's young, he's making it and he gets a call from his top client. The guy owns like two or three buildings in New York City, like Manhattan, like small buildings, manhattan. Yeah, pretty big deal, I would say. And the guy says, hey, I'm in Bermuda or Bahamas, I'm in the Bahamas, new, he got called him on Christmas day. I'm going to fly you down. I have like 10, 15 women will be with me. Come on down. He realized on Christmas morning he called his realtor to come out with him. Yeah, think about that perspective. And maybe you're saying like hey, bahamas 10, 15 women. Happy Christmas, right, merry Christmas. But the reality is what? That's? A shallow meaningless empty life.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep. And the feeling if we don't allow people in, if we don't merge relationships, if we don't just find people who are trustworthy, but if we don't become people of trustworthiness, we get killed. We end up alone, isolated, and that's when you get taken out for sure. Okay, my last question for you what's one change you aim to make in 2024 as it relates to your personal life in light of real estate?
Speaker 1:I would say I want to operate from a more peaceful place, like I want to have people around me that I know are adding to the table. I'm able to add to the table, like I'm a very firm person, but I kind of want to be a little bit more nonchalant, which I think I've been doing a better job of kind of being. But yeah, I just want to kind of just do a better job of just moving, more peaceful, not, you know, I got to build wealth. I got to build wealth.
Speaker 2:I got to build wealth.
Speaker 1:I got another property. I got to buy another. I got, I got. No, I just want to be. It's going to come, I'm going to build, I'm going to stay obliged. I don't want to be just trying to get me. I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2:It sounds like you're going to walk away from being like the mannickness, the, the, the, the panicness, the paranoia, the striving and more of a place of stillness and peace and tranquility. Yeah, it's more Stoic, it's more Stoic, more Stoic. Wow, oh, wonderful, listen, I appreciate you being on the podcast. Even though you're at war with the world, you seem to be a good man. You seem not to be such a good man to go war with. I wouldn't recommend it, but I do. You know. I appreciate you coming on, man. Much love for you, appreciate you having me brother Always, okay, great.
