A Mentally Ill Easter

Dark times. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Alright, fuck this shit, bro. It's kind of conversation. Because their accuracy is better. Anyways, we're talking about the fucking we're back to Germany. Welcome, German. How you doing, buddy? Yeah. What the fuck, dude? We're sorry. But anyways, this was a side conversation before we started recording. We were talking about how like America's not holier than thou, dude. No. Like, we have so many transgressors in this country the way we've treated people. Yeah. Dude, like Japanese Americans got put in our own concentration camps because we were in a war with Germ with Japan. Yeah. That that rarely gets discussed how poorly Japanese Americans were treated. Yeah, yeah, you're right. But they have no problem, and this is this is how the conversation got here. Because they they have no problem bringing up the fucking 6.8 million Jews that fucking Hitler killed.

unknown 0:51

Right.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

They have no problem bringing that up.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yeah, they have no problem bringing that up. But I'm I'm I'm fed up with like we we as we as in the Americans we've never done anything wrong to people. Right. It's you or we have, dude. Never gets brought up. I guess I would relate it to people in bad relationships. Like, you're not gonna tell your best friend that things are bad until the breakup is is until you guys are broken up. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, you get you get to hear, you have no idea, bro. Uh yeah. Yeah, exactly. But but while it was going on, it was fucked. Oh, we had a wonderful dinner thing, and fucking all this shit, and he bought me flowers, and this is the best relationship I ever had. Then then the breakup happens, and then the truth comes out. Yeah, the fake Facebook. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, that one picture that one picture when we enjoyed that ice cream, that night he fucking repeatedly punched me in the legs. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, he bruised my sternum and shit. Like, come on, bro. But the problem is like we're not we're a great country, dude, but we have a we have a lot, we have a lot of missteps in our history too. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, we've done shit wrong too, dude. We've mistreated like that unnecessary, bro, to fucking throw ass in the pool at Galactical Swimming. Like, there'd be no reason for that. Yeah, this isn't right, dude. During the civil rights times, dude. Uh they would just hop the fence and throw ass in the pool and fucking like we don't want the n-words here. Wow, and it's third pool, which is blacks only. We're still fucking that'll be a fucking war zone if we'd like to. No, but no, I mean, yo, it's true. It's like, you know, everyone villainizes Germany, and like I get it, you know, but like you have to have villains. No, I get it, but it's like, yo, like, two things can be true, bro. Like, we we've been we've been right now, like, I'm not gonna say that I mean, well, kind of, but the Iran situation is weird, yo, because like they've been talking shit for like 70 years, and finally it's kind of like it's kind of like getting bullied at school. Yeah, we're just like finally you're gonna be like this shit, bro. You're fed up with you're fed up with the depth to America bullshit. Yeah, but like then at the end of the day, we are the aggressors here. Like, we kicked it off, we teamed up with Israel and kicked it off. I hate Israel. And well, I mean, what the fuck, man? I mean, we were just talking about their greed and shit. The other thing they do, they're very fucking persuasive, they'll fucking lie to fucking get their way in and fucking all this fucking shit, dude.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

Here's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Yeah. My my quick my quick cliff notes on Israel, in my opinion. Yeah. Is they have nothing to offer us. Why are we always doing shit for them? I don't know. All we do is give. That's what I mean. We give them money. They wouldn't, they wouldn't have they wouldn't have a fucking nation if it wasn't for America. Yeah. They only established what in the 60s? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're they're like, I think they're one of the newest nations, actually. And they wouldn't be one without us. So why why in the fuck are we constantly fucking backing them up non-stop, no matter what the issue is, whether it's for Palestine, whether it's what uh we're always why we kiss their fucking ass, dude? For what? No, I know why. Because they know that the Jewish control. Yeah, they may not be giving us money, but they have control over everything. They have control over media, yeah, they have control over fucking banking, they have control over fucking business. Is Congress to overcome their fucking shit, dude? I think so. Like he sold out SoFi two nights in a row at 80,000 people singing last night with them, bro. Yeah, dude, you go the the fucking streams on YouTube. It's one of the most beautiful fucking things I've ever seen. But the thing is, but like fucking, I don't I just I think it is because they do fucking they do run everything, bro. Yeah, and that's that's a fear fact. But no, but here's the thing as you say that and they say no, they don't, and then you but you say it and they take the shit from you. So what do you mean, bro? Yeah, you're proving my point. Yeah, what the fuck do you mean, bro? Kanye lost two billion dollars in one day because of them. Because of them, bro. One fucking day, the dude lost two billion because he said that they fucking run everything. Yeah, yeah. I told you last week he dropped an album, bro. Yeah, but anyways, fucking. Go go watch the concert on YouTube. But not to be rude, okay? Look at the last names of a lot of these who own these companies. Goldstein. They ain't they ain't Armenian Americans, dude. Nah, no, they're not Irish Americans. To an extent, I I get American people, they're not. Like to an extent, I get you want to help your own people and shit, bro. But it's just like fuck nepotism. This is what like fucking uh uh nationalism or some shit. Like I don't I don't I don't even know how to describe it, bro. Favoritism, nationalism no, because nationalism means you're helping out your own your like your own fucking yeah, like like Hitler was a nationalist. Yeah, he was all about fucking helping Germany and shit. Jews about Germans, Jews, they want the world, yeah. They want everything. I don't I don't even know. Maybe there's not a word for it. I don't fucking know. It might be in Yiddish or something, there might be, but fucking it's maybe like internationalism or some shit. I don't know, bro. You gotta understand they are in control of every big thing in this fucking entire world, dude. They they they control the narrative, cars, media, yeah, and everything. Yeah, you can be blackballed overnight for one statement for yo, not for nothing. Look at the poor girls who fucking scream six, meaning you love scream six, the little Saberera girl. Yeah, she spoke up and said, Fucking, I don't agree what Israel's doing with the genocide to the Iranian people who ever fought, whoever they're fighting with. Oh, yo, career fucking done. That's fucked up, bro. Uh, she's a great actress. To me, she she made the movie fucking better. That was one of the better scream movies I've seen. Yeah. Because of her and fucking Jenny and uh you know what? Shout outs to Jenna Ortega for fucking. She was like, yo, if you if you're kicking her, you're kicking me. Yeah. And they couldn't do that to her because she's the big one. Yeah. No, she even dipping too. She probably got a little bit of a punishment for it. Not black ball. No, no, not from the whole industry, but yeah. She she was like, she's like, well, if if she's not in it, if you're not, you're gonna take her out of the shit because of that, then I don't want to be a part of a new one. Well, I mean, the whole thing is just the whole thing with them is just frustrating because we don't get anything, there's no benefit for us, dude. We're I don't see, don't get me wrong, I'm not 100% against the Iran situation. I'm not. Because they have been taking advantage and threatening. Yeah, like I personally get it for for dude, almost a half of fucking sense of the the entire lifespan of the Ayatollah was fucking death to America chance in the fucking town square. They said it on TV 47 years doing this shit. So what the fuck? Dude, like at a certain point, it's like, yeah, I mean, I wish we wouldn't have teamed up with Israel to do it, but I mean, in all real like in all reality, bro, the IDF, like, I can't even front, bro. They have a nasty fucking army, dude.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Well, they're air forces.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

That's what I'm saying, bro. The motherfuckers are surgical, bro. I can't even front, bro. Like, they'll they'll put a rocket in your living room. Yeah, no, for real. That's why Trump said Yeah, dude. He he goes, he goes, he goes, we we got we got planes. He goes, we'll he goes, he goes, we'll put it, we'll put a rocket right in your kitchen. Yeah, no fucking joke, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. So like from that point, I I get it. Like they're their intelligence is nuts, dude. Like, I get that point. Yo, did you know that like again because Jewish people are good at fucking getting fucking dirt on people? Yeah, I didn't think was good at it. Yo, did you know that fucking like if you're an Israeli citizen, you have to serve in the IDF at least fucking two years? No, not surprised. We should be doing that shit in America. No, you're right. Yeah, dude, for real. I'm that serious, dude. If they did that in America, all these fucking pink-haired, blue-haired, fucking Kool-Aid smelling fucking fucking weirdos on the street, fucking screaming the fucking neck of it about our military. Garantie, if you had to serve for two years and we sent your ass to a fucking sandbox for fucking a year of it, yeah, your fucking tune would fucking change. It's funny too, because like liberal women are are only liberal until they meet like a dude that is like like like checks all the boxes for like uh evolution uh I don't want to say evolutionary, but like I don't know what uh like pro biological and all that shit. Yeah, you know, I mean a dude that's like, oh shit, you know, and then they realize that like this so this whole thing has been set up for men to lead and you to follow. So do you have any idea how many fucking like videos I've seen over the course of like the last fucking probably eight to ten years where I'd see literal liberal women like sitting in their cars, yeah, fucking bringing shit up like fucking I thought I could date a fucking liberal man, but he doesn't he doesn't have the qualities. Yeah, I'd say they're not manly, bro. Who wants some fucking feminist duty? Yo, did yo, did you see that clip? Did you see that clip of this girl? She's on a podcast, and she was like, Would you ever date a liberal man? She said no because she's raised it to be a fan. Yeah, yeah, and she's fucking right, bro. Her package blew up because of that. You know that, right? I'm glad. Yo, can she have been men and women fucking jumped on her podcast?

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Like crazy.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

I'm glad, yo. And I was funny, I think I think she's a liberal herself. She wants. Boom. See, like, I don't have she converting. I don't I don't have no issue with with with a woman being a liberal because I think it matches like who they like their biological, like you know, they're meant to be like carrying and shit, but to an appointment. Yeah, yeah, that's what I mean. Men should be fucking conservatives and fucking like you know, masculine. Yeah, and I I don't mind, like obviously, you know, to an extent, like I don't want to date some fucking blue-haired fucking all they talk about is politics. I don't want to deal with that. But like, I don't mind if like they they care about fucking women's rights and shit. Like, you should, you're a woman. I'm you know fuck, dude. You know what I mean? I mean, I I get it, dude, but I'm thinking I'm another I have a bone to pick with fucking you feminists are fucking pieces of shit too. Oh like any of them. Because it's it they they sit in a fucking screen from the rooftops about this equality bullshit. Yeah, and it's not equal. You want more than. No, yeah, you're right. Yeah, you don't want equal, you want more than. Yeah, you want you want to be equal to men and still not have to do shit. Yeah, no, they want they want to make it- Like I don't fucking want it makes no fucking sense to me. They want equality plus some, yeah, but that's what I mean. They want more, yeah, they want more than, dude. Yeah, and then and I look at the I I hear the shit that they fucking say, and I just shake my fucking head, dude. Yeah, because that's not a realistic standard, dude. No, I mean it's not what you're asking for. No, it's it's uh impossible to live up to. No, yeah, and that's why it'll get to a point where there'll be a fucking millions of cat ladies. And the men who can ain't dealing with your shit. Nah, dude. So like they mean what the fuck, dude. AI robots and fuck the rubber face. Then fucking, then deal with a fucking deal with a fucking a liberal fucking girl. Yeah, because they're literally fuck I couldn't do it, dude. Yeah, like like extreme liberal, I can't do it, bro. I think even almost moderate liberal, just based on some of the fucking because the the the liberal the liberal women are super feminists, dude. Yeah, ultra. Like to the next level, bro. Like it's not even right anymore, dude. Like you listen and you just are like, how where the fuck where the fuck do you come up with this shit from? Yeah, dude, I don't even know how the mind processes shit, dude. I really don't know. Like, how do you get to that place? Like, it's gotta be, it's gotta be like like echo chamber shit.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

To where like your circle just always agrees with you, and then it gets to a point to where fucking like that's why it's it transforms your thinking. Well, that's why it's almost a brainwashing thing. Yeah, it's a brainwashing cultish thing, because you gotta understand once once somebody that's somewhat prominent says something, yeah, they jump right on it and run with it. Yeah, and then they take it to an ultra extreme, yeah, and not what the person actually said. They're taking one spin, yeah, and they're going running to it, yeah, and they're making it way more than it needs to be. You feminists can fucking eat my ass because I can't fucking stand you fucking people. Because I get to the how about that? I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll re I'll rephrase it. Yeah, the modern feminists. Yeah, because you I don't I don't I the original feminists, I get it. You get abity millions and running jobs and community, fine. No issue with the first wave feminism shit. We want to vote, we want to work, well I get all that, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd actually do a protest for you. Yeah, you know, I would I'll I'll stand up for you, I really would. But these modern ones, yeah, I'm good, dude. Yeah, you people are fucking nuts. Yeah, why you're not on meds is fucking beyond me. They probably are. This is probably what fucked up brain chemistry is. No, it's probably what I don't know. They're fucked up because they don't take it anymore. Oh they're off their fucking meds. There's no way, dude. I noticed that when I miss mine, I'm off a little bit, dude.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

I have a little bit of normalcy and a little bit of calm when I'm on mine. When I'm not, dude, I want to fucking put someone's head through the fucking window. So that brings up my ethical debate with my fucking therapist. I want to get into here. So uh at the end of the day, like okay, so she like refuses to play ball with the Adderall shit, right? And it's like, I'm trying to explain to her. My big mistake, this was my big mistake walking in the fucking door with this lady. If you brought up your ever had you ever drinking problems. I had a drinking problem.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Yep, that's it.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

And I want you to mix. And I explained to her, I go, yo, I don't drink anymore. I haven't drinked two years. I've overcome it, you know what I mean? All that, but I think my big mistake was meant like dropping the and so like honesty fucked me in in this case, I think. But so she fucked him trying to do the to do the right thing and be like, I don't I don't need him to mix his meds with the alcohol if he tried to drink again. Right. So, like so she's right and getting them wrong, which is something you probably need. I do need it, and I it it's proof like it's proof positive now because remember, I told you I got at it all Monday, right? So all week at work, this is what I did. I had a regimen, this is what I did, and I've never felt better. My brain, my mind has never been sharper, I've never been better at work. I'm not, I don't hate my job. You don't feel all high in Gene. No, no, you just feel kind of even healed. I feel I've never felt better in maybe maybe maybe in like years, but focus-wise, right? Just like all around, bro. I'm I'm more just uh I'm a more complete fucking person if if I do this. I take uh I take a bite out of the zinc because like I said, the zinc bills are too fucking strong. Why don't why don't you why don't you say why don't you say this to her? I've bought shits on the black market that worked. That's what I was gonna tell her. I would tell her straight up. So I got something work. That's that's what I was gonna mention. I I was gonna give her the whole regimen that I did this past week. And this is what it was because I tell her she she has no issue giving me the Xanax, okay? That's fine. But I was abusing the Xanax because I have the Adderall. The Adderall even kills everything else, dude. What makes no sense is that if she's willing to give you Xanax without the risk of you fucking drinking a fucking bottle of liquor with it, what's the problem with fucking what's the problem with Adderall then? So I don't understand the issue. So I'm confused there. So this is my regimen. If anyone has like ADHD or you're struggling with shit, this is what works for me. I mean, obviously everyone's different, but this is my formula.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Yeah, certain things combos work together.

SPEAKER_01 15:41

Yeah, so all week I I did an experiment, and I'm gonna bring this up. Well, I this is what I was gonna ask you if I should bring it up. No question. But um to prove your own fucking point. So I'm we're we're daily theories, is what we do. Daily, every morning before my shift, I take well, I was taking, I'm out of the adderall now, which sucks, though. I don't know how next week's gonna be. But um, so I take a bite of the zinc, you know, because like I said, they're I got the fucking 25 milligram, which I don't even know why I would sell that. It's fucking strong. It's like holy shit. Half of one's strong. Yeah, bro. Like, dude, I I I took I took a whole one at first because I didn't realize that 25 was too much. Yeah, I was puking my fucking brains out, dude. Yeah, bro. If if you take too much, so I take a bite of the zinc, a small bite. So, like for those pills, uh I'd be out of it. I do like three or four, I'll do like a quarter or something like that. Because you can't really judge, you're taking a bite out of it, dude. You're like right. So I bite a piece of that off. I take a vitamin B, I take a 30 milligram Adderall, a two milligram Xanax, and I am fucking good all day. You I don't have to redose, I don't have to fucking take another Xanax, I don't have, I don't have to do anything. I'm sharp all day. Uh I I don't, I'm not on edge. Yeah, it's it's it's it literally this past week has like changed my whole fucking life, dude. So like I independently figured out my fucking brain chemistry. Yeah, so I'm gonna tell her straight up, listen, the shit that you're giving me, she she's trying to avoid stimulants, yeah. So she's trying to do like back channel shit, like let's try this. Okay, well, the let's try this shit you're giving me is 116 fucking dollars, dude. I'm not paying that for something that's not helping. I'm done. Yeah, right. So the way I'm gonna break it down is like this. So I'm gonna tell her that I I did that for this week, right? And definitely tell her, don't not and and I'm gonna be like, listen, not for nothing. I'm paying, I'm paying for therapy. I pay you, right? And then also I'm having to go through back channels to get the fucking Adderall because you won't give it to me, and it's costing me a fucking fortune. Yeah, so either we're gonna fucking come to an agreement here, and you're gonna help me out and and make me be the best me. Hold on, guys. There we go. All right, uh, sorry about that. Yeah, impromptu phone call. But uh nobody ever bothers me. Usually usually usually we're fucking oh wait, hold on, mic fell a little bit. Usually, usually I'm fucking recording the shit in peace, no one gets a hold of us. Nobody likes me. I don't understand. But uh, nah, so um, so yeah, back to what we were talking about here. Um, so basically how I'm gonna frame it is this, bro. I'm paying therapy as many people know, I'm sure you know too, therapy's not fucking cheap. Okay, so I'm shelling out money for therapy for at the end of the day, I'm not getting what I need for you to f what what's gonna make me function best. Yeah, so my ethical dilemma was telling her about you know, I'm self-medicating because what you're giving me isn't fucking doing the job. So we're we're either gonna fucking come to a fucking understanding here and you're gonna you're gonna help me or I'm gonna find someone find someone who's going to, man. Because I I I I can't keep paying for fucking therapy and then also paying street prices for something that I can begin to prescribe, dude. Adderall's not fucking cheap on fucking back channel market, bro.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

Well, I had I had a beef with my fucking therapist last week.

SPEAKER_01 18:54

So it's like we're we're at this fucking standstill to where it's like, you know, I like the late I like the girl, she's helped me, you know, like like you know, she gives me the Xanax I need and shit like that. But like, you know, and like she's worried about that becoming like a crutch and shit. I get that, I get it, I get it, but I'm taking them responsibly now because well, when when I have the Adderall, I do because I don't need the extra thing to take the edge off because the Adderall does it too. So that mix, that whole mix, the zinc, vitamin B, one one Xanax, and fucking one Adderall per day, and I'm fucking perfect. My mind is sharper than ever. Yeah, no shit. So it's kind of sad I had to figure it out myself.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah, no shit.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

But that's where we're at. So I so alright. I mean, everyone else has told me to come clean to her. You're you're you're saying the same thing? I would. I wouldn't see why you wouldn't. Well, because I don't I don't cause because I don't I don't I I don't want to make it look like that, like you're being needy for it. No, no, I like like like I don't I don't want to make it look like that I'm just like like ignoring her fucking recommendations and shit, but if it's not working, it's not working, bro. And like I know what works for me, man. Like I had a perfect fucking week at work, dude. I was on fire at work all week. Well, I do I like I said I had my I had my fucking therapist appointment and shit today this last week and she fucking trying to tell me all kinds of dumb shit too that fucking like certain things aren't the answer. Well, you want to know what, bro? I was raised where violence usually is the answer. Well, I mean, yo, look at the answer. Give it someone a fucking slap in the mouth, usually it's the answer. Look it like I don't understand. It's always funny people say that shit, because like if you look through history, violence has always been the answer. That's what I mean. And they always tell you, like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, what do you mean, bro? Like, the the I mean, we we may not be in like the best stage of America ever that we've ever been in, but like, violence built this country, motherfucker. Like, what are you talking about, dude? It definitely did. But the best part is like, but that's what I mean. Like, when you try every other alternative, yeah, and then you're in a p situation where you're like, Well, I'm probably gonna have to give this dude a fucking smack because fucking obviously doesn't work. Obviously, dude, the other angles aren't working here. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, the avoidance ain't working, yeah. The fuck trying to come to a cock of compromise ain't working, right? Having a civil conversation ain't working. Yeah, and you want to seriously just grab fucking a chair and fucking waffle their ass like you're fucking stone cold in O2. Like, you know, I shouldn't want to fucking do that. But yeah, because and and that was another thing too. Like she fucking sitting there and she's fucking listening to me or whatever. Yeah, and she has she must have really she must have really bad diabetes, dude. Yeah, because every time I'm fucking talking, like she beeps like a fucking robot. What do you mean? And she grabs her little fucking thing. She must have the insulin pump. Oh, she's like the wearable fucking thing, yeah, and it beeps. Yeah, she's constantly fucking looking at it, and I said something to her. Yeah. I go, listen, I said, I understand like you have medical stuff, dude, but like when I'm talking to you, like I feel like you're not fucking actively fucking listening to me because you're constantly looking down at your fucking right hip. Which well, I mean, like I get it's a medical condition, but you Yeah, I mean like You ain't dying. No, I mean she should she should be she should be giving you her undivided attention. Like I wouldn't mind if she looked, you know, once or twice. No, bro, I'm not lying. It's probably like every ten minutes I was and she fucking staring at the fucking thing. I want to rip it out of her fucking body, dude. Yeah. And throw it down the fucking hall.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Because it's it's annoying. And I said that shit to her too. I said, listen, I said, I'm gonna make it fucking clear to you. I said, I have been on edge, lady. Yeah, you don't understand. I've been losing my fucking temper. Yeah. A lot lately. Like a lot of and like I understand that a lot of this is like from people abusing the fucking system. I get it, dude. But like when I'm coming to you and I'm like, yo, but like like I'm not trying to, I'm just trying to live a normal fuck. I want to function. I want to feel like, you know.

unknown 22:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

I don't want to stress every day. Like, I don't want to fucking wake up and be like, like, I want to enjoy my weekends, not fucking sulk around and fucking lay in bed and watch fucking movie. Like, I want to like I want to be actively like I want to do things, dude. Yeah, no shit. You know what I mean? And it's like I've been fighting with this lady about the fucking Adderall shit for fucking since I started going in fucking September. Yeah, I know. You brought it up before. And she's like, let's try this instead. Let's try this instead. And I'm like, alright, let's try this. And then now she's now she's got me on shit that's $116 to fucking try. It's like, dude, I I I know the Adderall will be a hell of a lot fucking cheaper. Yeah, no shit. Why are you what do you ever ask her straight up why is she avoiding? Like, what's what's the what's the avoidance? I don't understand. She said one time that that she just doesn't like uh prescribing stimulants. And I'm like, yo, but for me, with my if a stimulant doesn't have the effect on me that it would have on someone that doesn't have ADHD. I'm not all hyper. Yeah, you're time. It has opposite. Yeah, dude, but if that's the case, she should be telling you not to drink coffee and energy drinks time if she's against fucking stimulants. Yeah, I'm tr yeah, I mean, honestly, yeah. I mean, but I mean if she's so fucking against it, tell her she's not allowed to drink coffee and shit. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I I like like I said, I I feel I feel like my biggest mistake was my honesty at the beginning. Telling her that I had to fucking. But I shouldn't be like that, bro. You should be honest. You want to know what we're gonna keep on fucking honesty fucking policy thing here. Yeah, and uh fucking fuck, man. But um like I got I've been appealing and appealing and appealing my fucking social security disability and shit, right? Yeah, and they finally giving me an actual hearing. Yeah, like it ain't at the office, it's like a zoom thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And dude, my my OT person, I go to an OT lady, um this lady Carol. And she's one of them you can tell the bitch don't laugh from her face, like constantly, you know what I mean? Like it's just what it is. Yeah, but um fucking so I told her what I was gonna say. Yeah, I already kind of have a like pre-planned uh deal when I go into this fucking meeting. Yeah. It's not because I want to be on social security, I want to prove a fucking point.

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Right, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Like I wanna I I'm I I this is the this is what uh this is what this was the plan. Yeah, I was like, I was previously on, yeah, okay, for fucking over a decade for the same exact diagnoses that I have right now. Yeah, but you've denied me six times. What I don't understand, this is what I said, this is what I'm gonna say. What I don't understand is that how is it that you only treat me as paperwork? What do you mean? I'm paperwork. They don't they don't talk to me, dude. Oh, oh, so you're they're they just like review a fucking medical charts, yeah, and they go, oh, okay. You know what I mean? This what this would and that's what I'm gonna say. You treat me like a fucking person. Why don't you go instead of looking at my fucking mental health documentation and looking at my doctor notes, okay? Why don't you pull pull my social and look at my fucking work history? Why don't you fucking do that? Yeah, because I can't keep a fucking job. Right. I'm telling motherfuckers to suck my dick, bitch. And I'm gonna break shit and fucking I'll leave your fucking work vehicle six miles away and Uber home. I'm a fucking piece of shit. I got impulse control disorder, but you don't see me as a person, right? You see me as a fucking documentation from a doctor, and it's frustrating.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Fuck that. Like, like I'm a human being, bro.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

I think when it comes to disability, I think. I'm a human being, though, dude. No, no, yeah, that's what I'm about to say. I I think there should be more fucking like I'm a human one-on-one, like like meeting getting to know why don't you change your process? That's what I mean. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying, like getting to know the person and fucking talk, have a conversation. If I applied for fucking social security disability, dude, okay, yeah, and you choose to fucking be like, yo, we're gonna pose medical work, which is fine. Yeah, you need to do that, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a part of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Yeah, but why am I not within this fucking nine-month process? Because every time you do it, it takes about nine months. Why am I not getting two to three appointments, one of your therapists, dude? Right. To talk to me. What's been going on? Yeah, are the medication geometry regular therapists working? Right. How is life treating you? How is work? Are you working? What's going on in your life? You don't speak to us fucking people. Right. You look at fucking papers and you go, the doctor thinks he's okay. Yeah, you don't fucking know. You don't live like but but but that doctor is just reviewing a document, right? Like you're not seeing the doctor. No, they're getting the fucking medical records, right? Okay. A report. Right, okay. Okay, that's what you're getting. Yeah. Okay. But what I what people fail to understand, dude, and I said this shit straight up to fucking my therapist and that fucking Carol lady, because you know what they don't understand?

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

That I have times where there's weeks on end where I go to bed at night and I go, I don't want to wake up tomorrow. And then I wake up tomorrow and I go, fuck, I'm here again today. Yeah, I gotta live this fucking misery for another fucking day. When the opposite, when it should be, oh man, I'm grateful grateful for another day. Yeah, you know what I mean? That's how life should be. But but because of my mental health disorders that I have, I have done times. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Joshua, I've had times, bro. I've I've been given my sick time and my fucking a certain portion of my fucking vacation time and my fucking floating holiday PTO bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

Bro, when I'm almost out already, because there's days I just don't want to go to fucking work because I'd rather fucking shoot myself in the fucking face. Yeah. But you don't see that. And yo, that's that that's the point I'm making. Well, what like this past week for me at work. I I I just said it to uh my work wife. I'm like, we're talking yesterday, I'm like, yo, like, I don't hate coming into work now. Like my calls are I I'm genuine conversations with people, like I'm pleasant, yeah. Because you know, they got me on the right. Well, they don't got me on the right, but I figured it out on my fucking own, which is sad. Yeah, but I figured it out on my own. But it's proof positive now to me that that's that's what I need. So I don't know, maybe you have to do something similar, you know. I mean, do some research about about what you got going on and and see what you know. I don't know. Here's the thing you want you wanna know, you want to fucking a lot of people don't understand, and a lot of things I don't say about myself, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that fucking like I think we got it? Do you read I don't think I don't think people understand yeah like how exhausting it is to play a character eight and a half hours? No, you're right, yeah. Because I walk into work, dude. I pull up and I want to fucking drive my car through the fucking brick building across the street and then you walk into the get get into like characters like a movie. That's what I mean. I go in and I'm happy and I can't wait to deal with my people today, and I can't wait to get my work done. Yeah, and then I get in my car at 4 30 and I go, I fucking hate this shit. Yeah, I'd rather swallow fucking razor blades, dude. Yeah, but I gotta sit here and fucking play and joke and be a fucking personable person. I don't Joshua, this is a fucking 100% fact, and I'll scream it to the world. I don't want to be around people, dude. Yeah, if I could choose to be locked in a room with a PlayStation, yeah, and fucking a curtain of fucking cigarettes, I would choose that over dealing with people every single fucking day. I hate fucking people, dude. I hate people, I don't like them. They're not genuine, 90% are fucking fake. Yeah, nobody's real about their own fucking shit. And it feels like when when you're around people, they're playing a fucking character too. We should all do fucking Oscars. Yeah. Okay, but what the people don't people don't vocalize that shit. Yeah, do you be they don't understand how mentally exhausting it is to have to mentally prepare to deal with people every single fucking day. Yeah, nobody understands because when you get home, you I shut down, dude. Yeah, I don't want to talk, I don't want to have a conversation, I don't want to be nice, I want to be left the fuck alone, and I'd rather just go to bed. It's it's kind of like when I was working at um Alorico, I was with Savannah and uh COVID hit, and I'm working from home, and like she's like, So like let's talk when you know when you get out of here. I'm like, I don't want to fucking talk. I just spent fucking eight hours fucking talking. When you like when you do custom service, you don't want to talk. You do it all day. I just sit here for an hour and just fucking silence for everybody like fuck, dude. But degenerate, we'll regenerate, you know, but that's energy. But that's the thing that I think for me has been I think affected my mental health lately because I literally, dude, and I'm not lying. Quinn can attest. I gotta sit here in the morning, dude. Yes, smoke cigarettes, put the TV on, and literally mentally prepare for my day to be like, yo, what personality am I gonna fucking portray today? Like that's what I was going through. I shouldn't, dude. I it it I love my job. Well, that's that's that's and I love my people, but I'm talking about that's that that's that's what I was gonna ask. Is like because last week opened my eyes to where it's like, I don't now I'm not saying I want to do this for the rest of my life because like I have bigger dreams and ambitions and shit like that. Like, but but what it made me realize is that like it's not so bad what I'm doing for right now, right? Um, but like before this week it was just like dread. Yeah, like I wake up and I dread, and I'm like, uh I I'd complain after work, I'd complain before work. I think what it is during work. I think what it is for me is that I'm so down when I get up. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, that like if I don't have like that hour, hour and a half to like mentally prepare for me having to deal with people all day, like I think I'm borderline goraphobic of human beings at this point. Yeah, because like I do my job and it's fucked up, dude, because I am so good at my fucking job, bro. Yeah, to where the fucking my all my bosses, I'm talking about from my direct supervisor to the lady who fucking is in charge of half the site, yeah, that runs two departments, and the director of the fucking building, okay, yeah, told me directly to my face this week. Yeah, we are terrified to ever lose you because of how fucking good you are at your job and the shit that you have dealt with with these people that you have corrected that the last family peers was trying to do for three fucking years. I got done in six months. Wow, they're terrified to lose me, okay? So it ain't that I'm not excelling at my job because I am, but the point is, dude, is I feel like I should not have to fucking wake up every single day, yeah, and be like, what personality do I gotta play today? Yeah, who do I gotta be today? Is it kind of is it is it based on like your clients? It's not work, it's oh it's my I just fucking don't under I dude. I don't know. Oh that's the worst part, dude. Yeah, is that when you wake up and you're just like yo, it's just dread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the browser, man. I I wake up and I go, I go, yeah, I gotta I know I know I got X, Y, and Z to deal with today with my people. I know what I got. Yeah, followed up. I have appointments and I know what I'm and I know what I'm dealing with that day. Right. And I'm fine with that. Right. But what I'm saying is that like I can't show my true personality because my true true personality dude is super depressed, bro. It's down in the dumps, it's fucking sad, it's disgusting, it's fucking it's horrible. I feel like shit. And I gotta and I gotta walk around with this fucking fake fucking smile that I'm in this great fucking mood when an all-actuality, dude. If I really want, really got to choose, I put my head through my fucking desk.

SPEAKER_02 33:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

You get what that's what I mean. That's why I said it's mentally exhausting because I can't you can't go to work being like, oh I fucking swear to God, I wish I could fucking die. Right, right, right. You get what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's it's draining, dude. Yeah, no, it is. Josh, I I get to like fucking Thursday, bro, and I'm I'm over the week, dude. Yeah, I am so beat down that it's not even funny. Like, my my joy music shouldn't be sad shit about people getting murdered.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

Right.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

That makes me feel good on the way to work, right? That's not normal, dude. Yeah, but people want to play this. Another issue, too, with fucking mental health stuff is people aren't honest about it. You're right. You're right. That's the thing, everyone says we have mental health problems because okay, what are you doing to fix it? Well, no, even the even the people aren't telling the truth, though. Yeah, yeah, I know. Even your clients are hiding other shit, certain shit. I guarantee there's clients that come in and fucking say, fucking, okay, I'm sad, I'm depressed, I have fucking have fucking anger issue, I have X, Y, and C, but they ain't saying, Oh, I also have a Coke habit. Right.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

They're not saying that right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

They're not saying, hey, I'm fucking I'm drinking a fucking 18 rack with my fucking mental health meds when I leave here. Right. They're not telling you the truth. You're not getting the honesty out of these people. Now that I work in this type of environment, yeah, with mental health and addiction and substance abuse and all this other shit, when I see it daily, yeah, there's no way they're telling their therapists this shit. There's no way. No, but they wouldn't the problem their problem wouldn't be. You're scared to be honest because my honesty fucked me. Yeah, I I get it. You know what I mean? But there's the other side of the coin that fucking they're trying to do the ethically correct thing. Right.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Right.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

So it's hard. Yeah. They gotta navigate the system like you do.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

You know what I mean? But once you know what works, like for your situation, now you know it works. Yeah, she should at least test it, give it a test run for a month. Yeah, I would even say, dude, give me a two-week test run. Yeah, I'll let you know how it is. Let's send up for two weeks, I'll pay the extra C an extra time. Yeah, let's figure it out. Yeah, if it works, we'll we can we'll circle back to it.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Because what me now that I work in the professional field, you should see how I act now. Yeah, like my whole tones are different with people, yeah, right. The way I deal with people are different. Yeah, I have a little more tact when I talk to fucking people about shit because I'm dealing with people who have major problems. Yeah, so I gotta be a lot more tactful in how I word shit and the way I go about things. But it's really difficult, dude, to literally be so fucking in the shitter when you get up in the morning and have to fucking literally cosplay the happy and tell jokes and make people laugh and fucking you know what I mean? Because that's what people now expect out of you, because that's where you've been. Yeah, because when you've had your good days, you've shown that part of your personality. Now that's your work persona, yeah. And now I gotta play that. Yeah, because I'm not gonna continue to get pulled nervous to what's going on today, Sean. You're not my therapist, and I wanna talk to you about it. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because I know that they care enough that that's what they would do. Yeah, get what I'm saying? They care enough when it's a small office, yeah. So they're gonna know. Somebody's gonna be like, hey, Sean, what's going on?

SPEAKER_02 36:39

Right.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

You know what I mean? Yeah, and I don't want to tell people about certain shit. Yeah, that's my shit.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

You know what I mean? Things that are personal to me. Yeah, and that if I'm gonna bring it up, I am gonna bring it up to my therapist, or I'm gonna bring it up to a fucking family woman that might give a shit. Right. Or there's been times I've really told Quinn shit that nobody fucking knows because I need to get it out, or I'm gonna fucking fucking slit someone's fucking throat. Yeah, you know what I mean? And I shouldn't have to use my 12-year-old to vent. Right, right. You know what I mean? Because a lot of people just don't care, dude. No, and that's the thing too, is like that's one thing too. Women they say, like, oh, it's okay to vent to us. No, it's not, because you're gonna throw that shit in my face too much on the road. I will get judged sooner or later. Uh-huh. Sooner or later. Uh-huh. Or or or you'll get or you'll get the type of person who will say this. We've all been through stuff, get over it. Yeah. That's when I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you. Yeah. Because I instantly get pissed. Yeah. Because you want to know what you don't know my story, bro. Yeah, you know bits and pieces of it. Yeah, you know what I chose to fucking tell you. Okay, you don't know the whole fucking story, dude. Yeah, you don't know from fucking my first memories to fucking now. You don't know everything. No, yeah, you're right. So to turn around and say, We've all been through stuff, get over it. You ain't been through what I have, Ben.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:46

I there's no dude, there's no way. It's fucking impossible. And even my dude, multiple therapists, there's one diagnosis that's all there's two that have always came out with my conversation with therapists. There's the two things that have always been brought up when I've asked when I've switched therapists, yeah, and I've had the conversations, and they do the rediagnosis bullshit. There's been two things that have fucking been on there every single time. Impulse control disorder, PTSD. Every single fucking time. Put it in the fucking bank every single time. Yeah, no disability. It's not, dude, look at me. Uh Joshua, it ain't that I want it. Yeah, I want the fucking back pay, bitch. I was gonna work for two fucking years. You cannot give me a check every month. Right. Give me my fucking back payment, you scumbag bitch. I'm working fucking full time. Fuck you. Give me my 28 grand and leave me the fuck alone. Yeah, that's all I want. Yeah, I want my back pay. I'm working now, I don't care. Right, I'll suffer through it. I've always had to. Yeah, I'm so but that but that's another thing. So I'm sick and having to suffer through. No, and that's that's that's the point sick and sort of sucking it up. That's the point that I'm trying to make to my therapist. And I maybe I'm not getting the point of clear enough, clear and say it just like that. I'm sick and sort of suffering through and having to deal with fucking mental agony because you don't want to fucking help me. It's like it, you know. I mean, and I'm not gonna say she doesn't help at all, because I mean, you know, you know, she has helped, you know, here and there, but like well, you're helping, but you ain't you you ain't you ain't getting me to my end goal. Yeah, that's your job. Like, I don't want to fucking wake up and be like, oh, here we go. But again, you know, like what the fuck? But here it's messed up because it's the the mental health system and the meta and the physical health system now are working hand in hand. Yep, okay, because it's to me it all connects together at this point, yeah. Because they don't want to fix you, they want to maintain you so you have to keep coming back.

SPEAKER_02 39:31

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

They don't want to cure you in the medical field, they want to maintain you to keep you alive long enough to milk you, yeah, long enough to be able to go, okay. Well, we got him, we kept him alive to 62. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? We gave him enough medicine to keep him okay and out of pain for X amount of time. Yeah, but when when there's probably at least 50-50, that there's something better out there that can maybe cure you or make you feel make you feel better more long term, they're not gonna do that, right? Because that that eliminates them making all that money off of you. Yeah, you know, it's I I I I there's no there's no no money no money in the cure. There's money in treatment. Yeah, you know, I I I see it every day at work. Uh I work at insurance, I won't tell you, say I'm here which company I probably said out in the first run, first run of the show we did, but but uh but so you know I get called and uh I I always tell the story to people I go, you know, me and my mom went to a Yankee game and uh she cracked her teeth eating peanuts, yeah, right? And we got home and it was like a week and she had all her teeth pulled and dentures put in within a week, yeah, right? Whole fucking thing done. Now everything's like all right, we gotta do this first and then come back in three months, and then we'll do this part, and then we'll do that part, and then that part milk it milk it. Yeah, dude, everything's milked, it used to be like this, bro. Everything's milk, dude. Yeah, it's milked to the bitter end, bro. You gotta think, not to be an asshole. Like, with me going through like my cancer shit that I have or have now.

SPEAKER_02 40:56

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 40:57

Yeah, now I got pissed. Yeah, because the medicine they had me on, I was having like little to no pain. Yeah, I wasn't having any throw-up issues, right? Not fucking not feeling sickly, yeah. And even after first trying it.

SPEAKER_02 41:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

Now I had an appointment like a month ago, yeah, and he goes, You've been on this long enough. We need to switch it. It's something that you can't stay on long term. We gotta switch it. Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

Yeah, right, right, right.

SPEAKER_01 41:18

So he fucking switches it, yeah, and they know what fucking insurance I have. Yeah, they switch it. I go to the fucking pharmacy to go get it, yeah, and they're telling me it's gonna be fucking $1,032 for fucking 30 fucking pills for the month. Oh my god. And I said, Why so high? And they said, Because the medication they put me on my insurance didn't cover. So I had to go back and be like, dude. Look at that Trump RX fucking. We went everywhere. Oh I even called the county and everything. Yeah, but it's because it's it's a non-coverable medication, which he they told me straight up, bro. But here's the thing they but they turned around and told me that there's no way that that doctor was was not aware that it was not covered under your fucking insurance plan. They knew it. Yeah, and they sent it there anyway. That's fucked up because my therapist checks like before she like like when uh when she had me doing this this the intermediary before the Adderall shit, she looked and she was like, Well, it it's it's pretty expensive. She was like, if you want to wait, you know, like to your next paycheck. So like she they they looked, dude. They they know they knew that's what I mean. But that this that's what was frustrating. So because so in that gap period, right? Yeah, I had nothing. Yeah, so now you're suffering even more, and then I had to fucking go call the doctor back and be like, yo, you put a prescription and dude that my insurance doesn't cover. You either need to put me back on fucking what I fucking was on, yeah, or you need to fucking re-prescribe me something that you know is covered under my fucking under my plan. Yeah, because I can't afford fucking a thousand thirty-few dollars. Who the fuck can't I ask Quinn? I showed him on my phone, yeah, the but what it was gonna cost, because they give you the thing. So you gotta think, like, if you were if you were on that whole year, it's 12 grand. Yeah. It's fucking probably over because with the extra dollar thrown in there. So I went round 13. Yeah. But what so I went over two weeks without anything, yeah. And I didn't say this to anybody. Yeah, I literally felt like somebody was fucking literally twisting my nuts off my body.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

And every time I fucking pissed, it felt like I was being stabbed in my fucking kidneys, like I was fucking a shank and shaw shank fucking in the yard for two fucking weeks, and and then I gotta hear people in my own fucking home talk about why you're in a bad mood. But you would react a certain way. But you want to know what I live in a fucking weirdo fucking house where you can't say shit.

SPEAKER_02 43:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

Because when you do, it's like I broke my back, and man, yeah, yeah, that fucking bullshit. So it's like yo, people gotta stop comparing people to other people. Like, everybody's different, bro. First things first, I'll tell you straight up. Nobody wants when when when the pain comes, which ain't often, yeah, but when it does, dude, it is fucking almost unbearable. Yeah, like uh when you're when you're afraid to go take a piss, yeah. Like, bro, I will wait. There's been times where I know my kidneys are acting up, dude, and I can feel it. Yeah, I'm getting these little throbby pains, not bad ones, but I can feel it. Yeah. That's my that's my my body telling me oh this piss is gonna be fucking fun dude right yeah and literally dude when I'm fucking pissing bro yeah it literally feels like I got someone in the bathroom fucking wailing on my nuts dude like a fucking punching bag it's agonizing pain to where I almost want to physically throw up it's that bad like like as you're pissing it's yeah only when I pee no no when I pee it feels like someone's kicking me in the nuts oh because that whole tube from the kidney yeah down through the bladder that goes to your urethra yeah I get the pain it goes straight to my balls dude so when I'm peeing I'm forcing the urine out yeah and all that fucking pain is shooting through my kidney out through and out through my balls dude and it literally feels like someone's really full on Mike Tyson whacking me in the nuts dude like to where I want to puke the pain so bad yeah so with that medicine you had me on that wasn't happening right there was no need to switch it right you switched it and then you put me in a position where I couldn't pay the thousand thirty two for the fucking medication yeah and then by the time you re put it back to what it was they didn't clear it in the fucking pharmacy because you had no they didn't you didn't you didn't cancel the one yeah and you put the other one in so the pharmacy wouldn't fucking fill it because it was two contradictory fucking medications in there. Right. So it wouldn't fill either fucking one and by the time a nurse practitioner got a hold of the fucking pharmacy and canceled the one I couldn't fucking afford it was two weeks dude. Wow wow so I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna show you because um they end up canceling out the fucking if it still shows let me see here but it's that shit's fucking frustrating give a fuck about your patients dude yeah I fucking give a fuck for a change there's there's zero compassion we're a fucking little sheep yeah in a herd that's all we are dude we're a fucking dollar sign just like fucking with the fucking COVID vaccination chick where the doctors are getting bonuses to get people to fucking take the COVID vaccine and now I'm sitting here thinking are they still doing that shit because I won't no because I went to my doctor that's why I'm gonna say this. Yeah I went to my doctor's appointment right yeah about my diabetes and hercare okay yeah went to my doctor's appointment A1C levels great dude everything's good blood work cholesterol perfect yeah everything's good right and he asked he goes do you want like the you know the pneumonia shot do you want the fucking flu because flu season's ending but we can still give you the flu shot I said well if the flu season ended I don't want any of them right and then you're six he's over what the fuck I'm gonna just do it next year. Yeah and then all of a sudden out of nowhere bro he comes back in he goes he goes we got some new covet vaccines in he goes you want to do a covet I said no dude he goes huh I go no yeah he goes oh he goes didn't you did didn't you get the first round I go no no he goes you never you need any covet I go no he goes you probably you probably need it Sean I go no and I didn't even act explain dude yeah I just kept saying fucking no yeah you ain't getting no explanation out of me bro yeah because no is fucking no yeah that's like when you're fucking fucking want to have fucking sex with when they're both naked and she changes her mind and she says no yeah if you put it in you raped her yeah okay she said fucking no okay it's what it is I said no yeah why are you asking me 16 fucking times that I should know is no mother oh well with with with with your health issue Sean the COVID I think it'd be good for you why are you fucking now trying to sell this shit here we go here we go so look you're trying to sell it to me now so she's trying to get me to pay this for something that doesn't work 99 fifteen right yeah when okay so you want me to do that you're to pay for the therapy session and now I'm also having to go behind your back and buy shit black market that is like I'm I'm fucking pillaged bro everyone's like where's your money going well there like mental health how about yeah mental health therapy prescriptions bat channel prescription bat channel meds and car insurance yeah car payment in your vehicle yeah phone internet and try to save the move yeah there's not enough money to go around I mean no there's not enough to spread there's there's nothing American gets fucking fucked Joshua every fucking angle we get drained bro listen i'll I'll I'll make this point when it comes to fucking that that situation right there yeah right yeah I am now in a two income household okay yeah and it's still fucking a struggle dude yeah between my car payment my car insurance her car payment her car insurance food in the fucking house we both go to mental health shit we both have meds to fucking buy we have kids to fucking provide for we've rent to fucking pay I live in a fucking house where I pay for everything I should own it yeah dude I got dude dude I'm not lying you got the rent yeah got the water bill got the national grid oh damn okay yeah and the only thing he pays for is the heat which I think he he puts in there just a lie yeah because it's radiators bro and it runs off water and I pay oh yeah yeah you're right yeah so you put heat included in some well I mean it is but you're paying and and and and on top of that I gotta pay the gas in order to make gas for the stuff right so think about that you know what I'm saying yeah so you break it up Joshua mathematically I broke it down a calculator one time okay yeah I only make I'd say well because the child support a fucking little fucking wee little bastard yeah fucking fucking I'm paying 273 a paycheck the child support yeah so if I wasn't paying that I'd probably be making about 13 in change after taxes yeah with that I'm barely clearing a thousand right so technically I'm only making two grand yeah a month okay just the bills dude yeah I'm talking about just the bills in my car yeah leaves me with a hundred bucks yeah 180 and buff that's not including gas for that said car yeah that's not including I drink energy drinks every day I fucking smoke cigarettes on top of that yeah and like like like like I was telling you over text I think it was last week I'm not giving up my vices bro I've I I've given up drinking I I have the same mindset as grandpa as I got older it's like now you see why yeah I said the shit to grandma when she got mad no I I fucking get it now no you get it you dude the is we deserve some enjoyment yeah out of our fucking money not even if it's gotta be excessive some enjoyment yeah if I want to go grab a 12 tag and get shit race on a Saturday I am yeah if I want to buy a fucking 50 sack of fucking Coke and get blown out of my fucking mind this weekend I am yeah but you want to know what the problem is I need to have the money to do it. Right and a lot of times dude I get fucking financially kneecapped yeah to where I can't even fucking I can't even fucking buy a fucking 40. Yeah no you're right I'm like oh man I really would like a drink oh you only got three dollars and eighty cents yeah you know what I'm saying oh I can't I can't go negative my account for beer right so you just don't do it so yeah like I try to get more mindful of my spending but like it it doesn't it doesn't help and you know like I'm gonna I'm gonna bring that up to my therapist too it's like you know fine you're you you and like I have no problem paying like you you're you're uh you're providing a service to me I'm I'm pay I will pay you pay you you're doing what I come here for you to do I'm not gonna fuck you over but by the same token I shouldn't have to be turn around and fucking go okay well she's not gonna give me this so now I gotta text this guy and fucking and have it stab some shit fucking yeah you know yeah see you get a like a a fucking a a black market strip. Yeah like what the fuck that defeats the purpose of me fucking going to you yeah yeah you you you're literally having to back channel everything because he won't give you what you feel like you need. Yeah and Quentin is an innocuous fucker. Why isn't it catching me at all? I don't know what's up with his mic hopefully it sounds good. Uh yeah I don't know we apologize about the if it's fucked up we've never had this problem before not with this not with this run we haven't but fucking now it looks okay yeah I just have to keep adjusting the fucking mic but but I mean what I'm saying is I I think at the end of the day dude like yeah what what we as people go through yeah on a fucking weekly or day-to-day basis dude that I don't think a lot of people fucking understand what it's like dude nah and yo and it's every real and nobody understands that that also wears on your I think I think that wears on your mental health too though Josh it does. I was just about to get into that and I think I think it gets to a point to where people are embarrassed about like you know I feel like more people are in the situation that we're in that are they're just not willing to admit it. I'll admit it up as far you know what I mean like a motherfucker not to be and like you know um so it it is an embarrassing thing to admit to but well I I I feel like that more most like a lot of us are in the same boat just no one talks about it. Like for example like you think that I wouldn't like to even if it was a measly amount right yeah even if I just wanted to say 20 30 bucks a paycheck yeah okay yeah which is only like 60 to fucking well say 60 to fucking 80 bucks 60 to 90 bucks a month yeah just invest in some bullshit just to have a little bit of a fucking maybe possibly something blows up your little nest egg. Yeah I can't even do that.

SPEAKER_02 52:39

Right.

SPEAKER_01 52:40

Because I feel like guess what I'm probably gonna need that 60 bucks dude yeah or I'm gonna need that 90 bucks down the fucking road and I'm gonna regret yeah putting it into something so I do I mean and then and then and then when you then when you do it because I I I have a little bit and because Cash App lets you do it now. Yeah I know. Right? So I have a little bit and then when I start getting low and I'm like I'm tempted and then I'm like if I pull it out I'm gonna regret it. Yeah you're gonna regret it you want to cash it out yeah that's what I mean but if it's gonna help if I pull it out it's gonna be gone on a fucking day. Yeah well so what the fuck it's gonna give me what I need today just leave it just leave it but the thing is but if you gotta think I'd probably have a couple thousand dollars now if I really could invest yeah 30 to 60 to 80 to 90 dollars a month. Yeah you know what I mean I probably you just it adds up. Yeah yeah absolutely if you're in something that does a slow climb or spikes here and there once in a while dude and your money goes up just a little bit I've been investing in fucking uh Wolf speed the the local company yeah because fucking everyone pulled out because every because they they said they're gonna file bankruptcy or whatever and somehow the company turned around so so the stocks were low. So I bought in yeah and it it's been slowly fucking climbing because I've been considering they have this one thing yeah I've heard nothing but positive is that fucking AI generator fucking one. Yeah that will put your money where fucking things are gonna at least go up a little bit incrementally. Yeah I was thinking about doing that and doing like twenty dollars a paycheck to see how it works for a month or two. Yeah to see I'm not trying listen I think what people fail to understand I brought this shit up to people at work. I don't want to be rich dude I want to be comfortable I don't need millions of dollars dude yeah I mean don't get me wrong I'd be nice you know dude if if I could go on a fucking week vacation yeah and not have to worry about what a hole it's gonna put me in to go and do it. And that's the thing is like yo I'm fine with that but then it's so funny that like a couple cushion is fine. Some people they go you know yeah oh I'm gonna I I I take a vacation a year motherfucker I have never taken a vacation in my life as an adult as an adult like when I was younger my parents would take me places and shit like that but like more like to a change and four is my own self yeah I've never been like yo I'm spending a week in cat cancun or yeah that's what I mean yeah you can't do it. Yeah no shit it would it financially fucking ravaged you that's what I mean I could never recover from one week of enjoyment you you could do it yeah you're gonna fucking pay for it for a year you're gonna you're gonna be in you're gonna have to work overtime and dig out of the hole for a year to enjoy like for example like if it wasn't for fucking Jay-Z and Mary inviting me down for my birthday two years ago yeah I wouldn't have gone on a fucking trip and it was only fucking three days dude yeah right but it was you want to know what that three days dude was literally a mental reset oh yeah for sure there was no having to yell at fucking Quinn bullshit right and there was no it was like no responsibilities at home it was a good time have drinks go to the fucking ocean chill and eat yeah right it was nothing exciting we didn't go to fucking Disney and right it was nice to see my fucking best friend yeah to have fucking peace and quiet yeah peace of mind have some drinks get one night where I got completely fucking smashed drunk yeah which I needed you know what I'm saying and fucking it literally was a mental reset I was good for like two three months after that and I didn't even need a lot I needed a weekend dude right so but but I it's fucked up but if I had to fit the whole bill for that I would have been fucked for at least a month. Yeah yeah you know I mean if they didn't have a place for me to sleep when I showed up or they didn't cover the fucking ticket for me. Yeah like I haven't spend money yeah I went down there with 800 bucks which is fine three days yeah right right I can eat and get what I wanted and drink what I wanted and whatever I needed to do which was fine. But sometimes people don't understand and I don't think even employers understand we need mental health reset times dude where it shouldn't be deducted from us. Nah if I look at you and I go hey penalty I think I think every fucking employer should give a mental health week yeah guaranteed yeah 40 hours dude paid no deduction it's same own allotment yeah and you go hey I need a fucking mental health day on Friday dude I'm taking a long weekend yeah okay cool yeah but no they don't want to do that because you want to know what because mental health at this point in this country dude is what's making them all their fucking money dude you're right yeah these homeless people and these fucking speaking of homeless have you seen the shit going around on social media where digging up the shit and this is just from uh New York City but I'm sure it's it's got to be a nationwide thing. But New York City gets eighty seven thousand dollars per homeless people per homeless person right going into resource and shit like that. These motherfuckers are still homeless dog where the so because the directors of these shit they're the ones taking it there's fraud fucking everywhere everywhere and I'm gonna I'm gonna put this out there because this is one of the bigger reasons why I like where I work yeah we are not a billable we are not a billable service to people we are grant funded right like these are grants money that comes and we use it yeah yeah yeah we refurbish people's homes and we build them porches and we get them fucking houses and phones and fucking TVs and make sure to get the meds they need and we fucking transport them fucking everywhere. We don't bill your Medicaid and shit it's strictly grant funded money that we get to help the people that we have yeah we it's a small building dude and I'm gonna tell you right now we we deal with at least I'd say in excess of a hundred people and we only got fuck eight workers. Wow so we have a lot of work but it's all but it's all funded like when we need ship these people we got to fill out state forms yeah we got to fill them out we gotta fucking submit them yeah they gotta be approved by the state but when the state approves them they automatically get what they need right if it's a whole furniture set for your living room the state pays for it's grant money yeah that's why I like where I work because we are we're we are we are not we are we're we're we're we're fucking grant funded right we are not we're gonna build your Medicaid for this and we're gonna bill you for that and we're gonna throw you in a Medicaid cab and charge you for this and we're gonna charge you for that we're gonna charge that you're not fucking we have our own vehicles we transport these people where they need to go we bring them grocery shopping we help them with their homes we help them with their bills we help them with their rents but the catch to that is is that a lot of these people that are on social security disabilities and shit the catch is if they need the they want and need these services we got to get their check.

SPEAKER_02 58:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 58:49

So we become their payee so we pay so we pay what they need paid out of their check but we give them the remaining balance so if they get 1300 bucks and say they're on county and their rent is 300 yeah we pay all their bills for them so they have maintain a place to live yeah we they keep all their food stamps we don't touch it yeah we bring them grocery shopping and whatever's left out of their disability do we cut a separate check to bring it to the bank. Oh wow so we don't even keep it we just maintain their fucking money for them so that their bills are paid and we give them the rest. Yeah like some get a lot back in return dude like six seven eight hundred bucks back. Yeah but we we're just they're paid to pay their bills for for the for the the program that I filled out application for what what's the usual turnaround on that like is it a long wait or is it like fucking usually I mean it depends on the Hercomer's fast I don't know about an Ida County oh well yeah Hercomer's different county Hercomer's pretty fucking quick dude they got this dude out of his apartment into a new one in fucking less than 40 days oh well okay so I'm I'm still gonna think everything's still a process yeah yeah yeah yeah like because like I text I text like because we have a we don't like it actually I think the reason they won't pay until you find a place that's the problem oh that's how it works they don't give you money well no no no no yeah I I I know that you've got to put like find the place you've got to get the landlord letter and then they cut the check from the landlord no I get that but like don't you have to wait to be like okay you're approved to to do it no you no they if you call they'll literally tell you you find where you find where where you want to live uh you come to us with the fucking letter from the landlord okay and then we cut the check to the landlord and you move in oh you gotta you gotta sit back I've been sitting here waiting for a fucking update you gotta know you've got to find a place first oh to catch it you've got to find a place bring it to my therapist because she's the one doing the fucking work you be you if you bring it to her once you find the place I've been sitting here waiting for fucking update no you need I was supposed to be proactive about this you have to find the place because they won't because they won't pay until they fucking have they know what they have to pay. Oh so if your rent's gonna be twelve hundred bucks and it's social security they fucking need to know that amount and be able to send it to the landlord so you can move in. You gotta actually physically have the thing locked in before you shuffle the money out. Yeah because I'm sitting here waiting for I'm like yo no you gotta you gotta do the work. Oh all right okay you find the place they pay oh well all right now I know now I know I can drive around you know no you literally can I can drive around the see if like four this dude dude this dude moved into a fucking um a beautiful fucking duplex dude yeah three bedroom fucking like $1150 and they paid the whole fucking thing. Wow and and they assisted with the move wow they're like yo if you need a fucking rent because Joe like because that would help me a lot if I can get the first month rent paid and the fucking security deposit knocked out. That's what they pay the one time only right it's the rent security because because that that gives me a two month reprieve to fucking get my shit by the time you get there for the next rent. So I'd be I'd be I'd be perfect. That'd be fine. That's what the services for you on your feet so you can service on your own. Right the whole idea. Because you know I mean yeah I'd be selling out money and bills but like I was saying to um like I'd say that would give you almost two months before you get your first national grid bill or first bill yeah yeah so I can kind of fucking like a game that yeah well yeah you can just save up and be like yo I can estimate this is what my national grid's gonna be right and the rent ain't due for fucking over a month. Right, right. You know what I mean? Because by the time you move in. But yeah that's the whole idea dude they fucking cover your fucking first month rent and security and then fucking you move in. But you gotta have the whole landlord deal just be like yo just make sure you make sure when you talk land or be like will you accept payment from so and so right for because some of them are be a piece of shit. Yeah not a forever thing a one time payment yeah yeah one time payment rent security you'll sign the lease agreement yeah once you bring that in and you locked in the apartment they pay oh they send the check to the landlord oh okay with it with within yeah because you know I'm sitting here I'm like yo what the fuck man I haven't heard nothing you gotta find the place I told Isaiah the same thing he was confused I said you gotta find the apartment first yeah tell them you want it yeah explain your situation yeah get the fucking lease agreement or the fucking month to month agreement yeah bring it to them and then they pay oh okay it's gotta be that's the way that shit works this is what I mean like I learned about so much fucking shit yeah working where I work like to help with little shit yeah like it's fucking crazy the shit I can fucking get people fucking for free dude yeah like I told if like you got mental health if you look for example like if you for example say you went to Chubbs and you would never do it but if you did and you told them that you wanted a PRS worker the amount of shit you get for free is fucking absurd.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

What is it?

SPEAKER_01 1:03:14

It's fucking crazy it's a it's a peer service worker right so they're like your peer person yeah but you tell them you need shit yeah and they just go and get it for you. Really? Yeah they just give it to you like say I like stupid shit like I need toilet paper or something no dude need a TV to buy you one. No way swear to God I swear to god dude Joshua I got a pair of $300 sneakers in my fucking thing because I told them I needed flat flat bottom fucked sneakers because my back hurt. Yeah and they bought me a $300 pair of fucking panda Nikes oh my god for free what the fuck they covered my fuck my my initial down payment to my car insurance they they gave me $800 to fix my fucking car they put tires on my fucking car. What the fuck just free shit it's just everywhere dude yeah it's everywhere dude because you know I you know I'm not gonna say I'm jealous but like but not of you I'm saying like they don't the people that don't tell people that's what I'm saying it's not an open thing it's like right they have to be on a it's kind of like when I was working at the bank beginning yeah you have to be like like in the yeah like what the only reason I know so much about banking in the financial system is because they had to fucking I'm an inside man they had to yeah you have in order to do my job to be able to translate it to the person. Right. Yeah the client so the only reason I know these ins and outs and fucking secrets and shit like that is because I was fucking didn't have a choice. Yeah yeah if you're a regular fucking Joe and everyday guy just fucking lunchbox Joe fucking going to fucking construction site you don't know nothing about this shit. This is literally what I was told yeah eight hundred dollars a person per month wow if you need for shit right like for example like they're trying to push through my down payment my car insurance because I can't swing it. Yeah because I paid the bullshit because I got lucky when I had to switch my switch the car get the new car right yeah fucking the way it worked out was like because my renewal was coming up yeah I only had to pay $24 from the last payment yeah which gave me insurance for the month. Right but because it's a renewal and it's a new car flipping on the road for the next policy yeah it's $368 bucks. Oh but then it goes down to $160. Right right right your first payment's always like a third whatever a certain percentage amount yeah because that's what fucked me last month because I had a renewal it's always more $532 yeah mine and then it goes down from there. Yeah yeah because mine mine's gonna be $368 yeah 368 and 12 cents yeah and then after that I'm 162 and like seven right yeah and for the remainder of the fucking six month policy. Yeah but after that I won't have to do that big chunk again. I'm gonna stay at the 168. It's the initial transition of vehicle right going from one to another or a new policy.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:43

And I won't be new policy after the next go round.

unknown 1:05:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:46

So it'll stay at the 162 but the thing is dude is like yeah dude I I'll I'll show you the sneakers when we get off the air dude I mentioned it one time. Yeah I go dude I go me running sneakers I think's fucking my back up to you I need something with flat soled Yeah. Like something hurt. Yeah. I go, my back is fucking killing me.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:04

And I fucking showed up because I had the point with my PRS dude last week, and he literally handed me a brand new fucking box of fucking lift pair of panda 90s.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:11

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:12

The reverses, too. Wow. Like the nice reverse. You know, they're usually black.

unknown 1:06:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:16

More black than white. Yeah. These are more white than black. They're like the limited edition. The brand new fucking pair, dude. Now I know. Now I know I gotta go apartment hunting. I'm sitting here. I I thought they were like, give me a list or something to pick from or some shit. Oh they'll pay anybody. Okay. They'll literally pay anyone. That's the deal. You find it, they pay it. Because you know, there's one on fucking shirt show. You know, because I is it still open? It was what's funny is the downstairs. That's what I mean. Downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. That's still for rent? Yeah. Bro, that shit's been for rent. So I was thinking about it because it's nice, bro. Did you see the internet? I've never been in there. No, I'm talking about you can find it on fucking fucking scale. Yeah, oh. And dude, it's beautiful in there. Really? It just shuts fucked up. But like probably because it's mainly I grew up on that side of town. When I was living in fucking the east shooting that, I never felt more uncomfortable in my life. I fucking hated that. I don't like it, dude. I fucking hate it. You gotta get it from me, dude, because when I moved over there, I dreaded every minute. Like it was like anxiety non-stop, dude. It's like it wasn't anxiety. I know I didn't fit in over there. That's what I mean. It's like I don't belong here. Yeah, it's not my family. And plus that over over there now, it's like little Somalia over there now. You got people fucking head wraps and fucking carrying their water under the bag. Yeah, dude. That's fucking crazy, bro. They love the Africans over there. At least West Utica. I maybe around thugs and shit, but they know me. I've been around here, they see me. They know they know I'm not up to no good or no shit. Yeah, dude. Like, you know, I'm I'm good. And plus I'm I'd be right next to Graham. Yeah. You know, like, you know, so I guarantee they would take it in a second. You think so? And dude, it's fucking Churchill and West Utica, yeah. True. Absolutely take the fucking security from anybody because that rent. No, have have have you ever seen gunshot spotter things that we have? Yeah, I've seen them. Yeah, down at the corner of Churchill, too. Everywhere now, dude. Do they? Dude, they got them in front of fucking houses and fucking all kinds of shit. I see. I seen the one that's over by where the old streetlight used to be on Churchill and Whitesboro. Yeah, they got yeah, yo, they they got one on Churchill Ave, like like on the corner almost. Like that brown house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the corner. I seen the one that got one right fucking there. I seen the one at the bottom hanging. Dude, yo, yo, they've installed them everywhere. And like is that what that's what them are? I was wondering what they thought they were cameras. No, no, no, they were saying when they had the gunshot spotter things. What it is, is like it's a system that identifies a gunshot. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So uh if you if you you let off a gun, it immediately sends a signal to fucking UPD where the shot went off. Yeah, the vicinity of it. Yeah, right, right. Yeah. But then you send them on a block. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So it's like, yo, that's pretty cool. Yeah. I mean that means I can't shoot my shit out my window anymore. They're gonna come. Yeah, exactly. Uh fucking arrest me for it. Right. That shit would be fun. Yeah. But I'm telling you right now, bro, but like if I do happen to, like, by the grace of God, not get put on social security, but give me the back pay up until I started working.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:09

I'm telling you right now, dude, that shit is not gonna be wasteful, split, wastefully spent on buying a fucking home within fucking six months.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:16

I'm taking off to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:17

I don't know if right now, no, what I'm what I'm saying is what I'm saying is that I would probably put that uh that amount of money aside. Oh, oh, okay. Because they said it's between 15 to 17 grand. Yeah. Between closing and fucking not to be fucked up at your age, I mean, you're probably never gonna fucking pay it off anyway. So you may as well life insurance goes on, and then you buy it. Yeah, so if I kick the bucket and I don't put Cassie on it, she gets it for free. Right. So, whatever. Yeah. I can just stick it, stick my kids in the will. Yeah, you know, like, yeah, at at this point in your life, why not? I mean I'm not paying up a 30 year mortgage, I'll be dead, dude. Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'll be R IP, my nigga. Right. That's why I couldn't get a loan for a home. This motherfucker's gonna die before you fucking the loans out. Yeah, right. I ain't making it to 80. Okay. So I heard. I'm about to test this shit out. I heard if you go into a bank and you have a yarmulke on your head, right, you will get instantly approved no matter how bad your fucking credit is, bro. I want to buy one. I I want to get one, I want to get one on fucking Amazon and give it a shot, dude. Wouldn't that be cool? From what I heard, like people swear to God that if you walk into a bank with any Jewish kind of shit on you, even if your your credit can be in the fucking toilet, they're giving you a fucking. Yeah, just learn some fucking learn learn a couple Yiddish statements. Yeah, yeah. Like while you're talking, be like, hey, the fuck. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't know, man. I might I might have to give this a test run. I'll go to one meeting financial with the colour. I'm gonna show you I'm gonna show you. See, right. Yeah, do this because I signed up for it, bro, and it fucking works, dude.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:47

Yeah, it's called NACA.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:48

Yeah, look. NACA home buyers on Friday, Friday through Sunday, eight to eight. Look, low income guaranteed housing loans. Wow. Right there. And it's at the fucking New Hartford Convention Center.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:01

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:01

If you sign up, they'll literally fucking process the thing. The only benefit of being a renter versus a fucking homeowner is the mortgage payment nowadays. No, well, if it if if if you're the higher interest rate loans, if if your furnace goes, it's not on you to fix it. Well, it's the landlord's responsibility. Me and Cassie had this conversation. That's the only downfall. It is your water tank goes, your loan out on your house to fix it. Yeah, you have to borrow off your fucking yeah, you have to borrow off your fucking home equities. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The next thing you know, your payments continue to go up. Yeah. Because you're repairing shit that you don't have the fucking cash for. Right. This is literally why if I was my first home, it's gonna be a two-family. Why?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:40

Because I'm renting one to cover the fucking mortgage so that I can save it.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:45

And then when I fucking get the money up, I would just purchase a second home that would be mine and use that thing as a full rental to cover my mortgage. Yeah, that's what I would do. But uh that's what I mean. At the end of the day, it's always gonna boil down to money. Everything, always, dude. Everything you can't make progress if you don't have money. It's like it's like uh people can only be fucking like dreams. So like I sent you a video last night with just check, she broke it down, she's just like, oh, she's like, we're getting squeezed. And she's like, Why aren't we in the streets over this shit? We should be all of us. Did you see what Italy's doing? Yeah, they filled up their gas tanks, they went up, did a full grocery shop, and they went home and they locked their doors and not coming outside. They're not paying for fucking anything, they're not paying their bills, they're not doing anything right now because they're sick and tired of the fucking government fucking pillaging their fucking pockets for every little fucking thing. So they said they're gonna do it for a week, and guess what? That fucking government is fucking panicking right now. Yeah, nobody's buying anything. The stores are fucking empty, gas stations are empty. People are in the streets for fucking no kings. What that has no effect on your fucking day-to-day life. Why aren't we out here for the shit like this that we just talked about for an hour? Well, I'll tell you right now, these fucking king protesting are gay, okay? Because first things first, if Canada and London were doing it, you have a fucking king. Listen, you fucking retard. No shit. You guys have you you people in Canada have fucking UK people on your money. Yeah, you you you follow fucking what is it, King Charles? You have a fuck you have a fucking parliament. Yeah, what the fuck is it? You live with government here. You talk a lot of shit. And these people that frustrate me about the whole no kings, you'd get beheaded in the street if you protested. Yeah, you'd be gunned down. If he was a king, he'd be throwing you fucking you fucking colored headed fucking weirdos, fucking peasant bread in fucking dirty water in the fucking street. That's what you'd be fucking eating if he was a fucking king. You're a fucking king, you fucking stupid idiots. It's funny because a lot of the protests is going on, they're saying no kings, and the motherfucker can't even get to get a bill passed to fucking pay TSA, and you're saying he's a fucking king. What the fuck is happening? Bro, do you see the statement we see the statement he made about fucking his thing? He brought that he said this. This shit made me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:48

And I'm not, I'm probably from pretty much almost end it here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the shit was funny to me. Yeah. He goes, he goes, Oh, he goes, I was why it was, I was what it was, it was watching some of the no kings pride protests. He goes, he goes, they're trying to say that I'm a king. Yeah, you know, he stretches it all out. Oh, yeah, I'm a king. Yeah, right. And he goes, he goes, if I'm such a king, yeah, he goes, why can't I get approval for a ballroom that ain't coming out of taxpayers' money if I'm such a fucking king? I'm such a king if this is fucking privately funded money to add a ballroom to the White House. It's not coming out of the taxpayers' dollars, but you guys are in the roach calling me a fucking king. Yeah. If I was a king, I'd tell you, guess what? I need congressional approval. It's taxpayers' money. It's not, it's privately funded. Dude, he fucking openly said it. Billionaires are giving him the money for the ballroom, dude. Because the White House always needed one of the ballroom. This one shit, she she put out a video from the first fucking no kings, and she was like, No kings, unless it's COVID time and we shut down the fucking country. No kings, unless unless unless you're a mom and pop shop and you can't operate, only the fucking big companies can, right? Corporate, no, they opened fucking we'll we'll put fucking plywood and we'll do the fucking two by fours on fucking basketball. That's what I mean. No kings, okay. There's there's so that's what I mean. They're such fucking two-faced hypocrites, and they fucking turn around and say that TDS ain't real. That shit is real. Yeah, it is 100% real because you want to know what, like people said, if they said cat shit was healthy, you'd be eaten out of the box. Yeah, okay, because that's just the way you fucking people are. You're you're you're wired that way now. You've been fucking this this propaganda shit has been jammed in your fucking head for fucking 12 to 14 fucking years as a dude with taking another fucking escalator. It's been a fucking problem since then. Yep. You don't like the fact that we don't have a politician in office, and he's not a politician, he's a fucking businessman, and you don't fucking like it. Yeah, this country always should have been ran like a fucking business, and very few and far in between presidents that did run it like a business, it was fucking successful. You're booming. And I'm so sick and tired of this no new war shit. War was never declared any fucking where, okay? So this whole new no wars bullshit. War means boots on the ground. Yeah. Airstrikes ain't a fucking war. Yeah. Bitch and complain, but Obama bombed more than fucking Trump heads. No, they motherfucker killed American citizens with fucking drones and shit. So I'm even trying to hear that bullshit. You they they they sit here and they scream from the rooftops all the wrongs that this dude has done, but you don't look at your own party and the scammy fucking shit you did. If it wasn't for Bill Clinton ignoring the threats of fucking 9-11, it wouldn't have fucking happened. He left that shit on his desk. He ignored it. There was paid no mind to it, didn't tell fucking anybody, he didn't tell fucking Homeland Security, he didn't tell CIA, he didn't tell the fucking Pentagon, he didn't tell the joint chiefs of staff, he fucking shut the fuck up and said nothing. And guess whose lap it fell on? A fucking Republican's fucking lap. And that was to me done on fucking purpose. It wasn't because daddy's fucking mess. That's what it was. And I I I think it was a power play on fucking Clinton's end, too, because just how the country operates is fucking like if you get eight years of one of one party, more times than not, the next party, the other party, is getting in. Yeah. So he knew it wasn't gonna be a Democrat. Yeah, he knew he knew it wasn't gonna be a Democrat problem. Yeah, it was gonna file on a fucking Republican.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:04

But then you've got to also think the other side of the coin is that that opened up the door for Bush to fucking fucking clean up his fucking daddy's mess. Yeah. Because he wanted to prove the point, the whole weapons of mass destruction would destroy Iraq, Iraq, Iraq. Yeah. So that fucking happens. Yeah. So the whole the whole thing compounds, dude. And but this whole fucking king bullshit, you people are fucking deluded, demented, and sick in the fucking head. Because if you really would just Google what a king is, yeah, it's you would full authority, you wouldn't be in the fucking street, bro. Yeah, you wouldn't be in the street if you knew what an actual king was. Yeah, look in the history of kings in the UK. Yeah, people get dude, the like Boleyn getting her head chopped off because she disrespected her fucking husband that was the king. Like that's the shit that would be happening. There's not execution in the street, you fucking idiots. And if you guys did protest the king, you'd probably be dead. Yeah. Or you'd be fucking put in a fucking camp like Hitler did. Yeah. Yeah, dude. Dude, people don't imagine concentration camps in America, right? We've done it, fucking beat. We've done it, but we've done it into the Japanese. That's what I mean. But no one talks about it, but we did it. Hold on. Was he a king? Yeah, there you go. He must have been a king. I don't know. It was a fucking Democrat, probably. I said he was like JFK or something, wasn't it? It was some somewhere in that area. Himmer was Lyndon Johnson. One of them fucking idiots. Yeah, yeah. Whoever was the president during fucking World War II. Yeah. That was the dude who fucking was like, yo, Japanese Americans are fucking spies. And we gotta get them all off the street. I I can get the paranoia about it, but like well, if that's the case, then how come we ain't doing that shit now? With the whole incel deal and the fucking the enemy within bullshit that we keep hearing about on fucking TV. We're doing shit about that. No, there's Muslim neighborhoods fucking everywhere. Treat them the same as you did the Japanese motherfucker. Because you didn't do it. You won't do it. No. Because guess what? You'll be deemed you'll be deemed as racist. Why does it matter? We're called racist anyways.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:54

The end. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:55

There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:57

The end. Fuck that. The end. Alright, guys. Oh, you ain't kidding. I can't wait till tonight. Alright, guys. Uh, we'll see you guys next week. Peace.