Near(l)y Insane
Near(l)y Insane
Romantic Ways
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I mean good.
SPEAKER_02All right, let's see. Doing a test run here. Everything looking normal. What about you? Yeah, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it looked way better than yesterday. Last week.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I apologize for anyone that had audio issues last week. I drove around this morning and had nothing to do uh till about noon. And I listened to listened back to last week's. I noticed a small drop in quality, but nothing extreme. So maybe it affected other people in other ways. I don't know. It could be internet deal or their sound and stuff.
SPEAKER_03But either way, we have it fixed and corrected so it won't happen this week. We're all good to go as long as no one fucking bashes into the fucking yeah, no shit.
SPEAKER_00Um don't need drop the fucking microphone, got it.
SPEAKER_03Thank you to Mike's uh message from Sully Mac of one year at my mom today. Thank you. Appreciate you for acknowledging that. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01People don't fucking ever notice what fucking people are going through shit like that because they don't pay attention because they don't it's not affecting them. Yeah, so then when you're off, like for example, dude, I had a real shit week on the fucking like the week of the 15th. I always do, and then because I sit there and like work myself up to it, it's just I notice my mood changes and I take a peek at the fucking calendar and I go, fuck, dude. My dad died tomorrow, my dad dies tomorrow. Like it's just one of those, you know what I mean? It just flows your mood off. Yeah, you know what I mean? And I think it I it it's I appreciate when like like that's how I know, I hate saying it, that I know that my co-workers like actually pay attention to me and actually care. Yeah, because they notice shit like that. Because I'm never ever, dude. Since I started working there, dude, I've never been like off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, at work. You've always been you, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I've kind of just me joke around, you know what I mean? A normal fucking conversation, boss people's balls, do my job. Yeah, I kind of was like, I wouldn't I wouldn't say depressed, I was kind of like mokey. Yeah, kind of like I was doing things a little bit slower than normal, and you know what I mean, shit like that. And then my new boss, Charlie Rose, fucking out of nowhere, fucking I'm about to leave, and she goes, Hey Sean, she was like, Come here, going off. She goes, Shut the door. And every time an uh an a fucking boss goes, come in my office and shut the door. I always get in trouble, dude. And I that was really the first thing I said. I said, What I do, I didn't do anything wrong, dude. She goes, No, she was like, Shut the door and sit down. She's like, Are you alright? Like, that's the first thing she asked me to do. She goes, Are you alright? And I was like, I was like, I was like, you know, I go, I go, I'm always a little off the screen. I'm sorry. I said, I'm not, I don't let like, you know, and try to like interfere in your own. Yeah, yeah, I I I go I'll make sure it doesn't like super interfere with like you know, my you know my doing my job spots and stuff. It's just an off week. Yeah, she's like, you know, she's like, she's like, you don't have to, but she was like, any reason why? I said, yeah, I said I said always like seemed like the week my father passed away, always is fucking just like shit week. Yeah, like there's nothing that could change it. I don't even think a sloppy bojob could correct the movie. I'm not even sure we get all the way hard. Right because I'm just not in the in that you're just not mentally there. I'm not investing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you couldn't get hard if if if someone paid you, yeah. One of those, yeah. I I've been on those funks, dude. I know exactly what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_01I would need like three Viagra, yeah. And that might get me three quarters hard. Yeah, because it that sex is not I learned it now through my fucking ED doctor. I don't have them anymore. But he really did say he goes, you want to know why? He goes, sex with Kermen is completely different, dude. He goes, because you want to know why. He goes, if you ain't if you ain't fully mentally invested into the fucking act of fucking intercourse, yeah. It's true. If you're not into it, the performance is gonna be bad. Yeah, you're gonna fucking you're gonna you're gonna fucking you're gonna you're gonna drop the ball like performance wise in a pre-boss earlier than what you normally do. He goes and that's and and and he in the game and he goes, You want to know why? Because you know what that does. He goes, if that woman by chance says something, yeah, even if it's oh it's not normally like that. Are you okay? Now that fucking hits the man's ego. Right now they feel like they gotta overperform and then they fail every time after that. And then yeah, they no longer they're no longer fucking leading up to their expectations, and then you're now you're in your head. Yep. About man, I used to fuck the shit out of this bitch, and now I can't.
SPEAKER_02That's what I mean.
SPEAKER_01Because this one T this logo fucking I say there was this one fuck this one fucking girl, dude. And I don't know, what the fuck? I don't know why. There was nothing fucking special about her post, yeah. There wasn't magic, right? Yeah, she was a real pretty girl, dude. You know what I mean? We were both younger, we're both in our 20s, bro. But she wasn't a fucking 10. Yes, and like I said, her pussy wasn't fucking like a gripper, dude. Yeah, but the the the only fucking woman ever, bro, that literally with like almost the fucking heat from it would make me want to cat, dude. Right, and it was just bad. And I even used to say to her, I'm like, I'm not gonna lie, it's never gonna get any better, dude. It's been like eight times, bro, and it's only been three times. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
SPEAKER_03I actually had a talk about that that ties in with this, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Then after you're done with yours, I'll add mine and tell me right.
SPEAKER_01Well, I think it's fucking weird though, dude, is like I wasn't dating her, she was just like one of them consistent friends of benefits people.
SPEAKER_02So right now we're gonna do that.
SPEAKER_01We were just I was I was just we weren't dating, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yep, okay, totally with you 100%.
SPEAKER_01I say it was pointing in that direction, but nothing was official, right? So we were still like kind of messing with other people or whatever, right? Right. So what I always thought was weird was that when I fucked the other chick 15-20 minutes, yeah, yeah. Fuck her, yeah, three to five. And I could literally do it. I've tried I tried everything, Joshua. I'm not even lying, bro. Yeah, I mean, when I mean well, it was pre-fucking Viagra stuff because I'm talking you're talking about the early 2000s, you know what I mean? Even if it was available, it's probably like fucking $300 a pill.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, right, right, right, right.
SPEAKER_01So, like, but I even tried everything, bro. I would be like, Oh, we're gonna fuck tonight. Let me bust one out. I watched some porn dude, you know what I'm saying? Uh huh. Jerk off like three, four hours before, thinking if I got a nut out of the way, you know what I mean? Right. That like it would be better. But I don't know. I can never ever ever ever ever. The only answer I got from like dudes though. Yeah, like they're like, they're like, yo, because I think what it they they this this was their opinion. They said it's gotta be that fucking like you care more about her, and there's more you got more of an emotional attachment to her than the other chick. The other girl was just a fuck, dude. Yeah, and you didn't care whether you lasted two minutes or you lasted an hour, it didn't matter. You want you had high expectations having sex with this girl, and because you got yourself overly excited, there you go. Lost a nut. So there you go, lost a nut. There you go, lost enough. The only time I fucking railed that bitch, dude, and no bullshit, yeah, was when I fucking before a coke killed my cop. Yeah, yo, over time it will like as you're older, all the shit comes back. Yeah, but like like before it was did the it before it was a homicide in my penis. Yeah, right, right, right, right. We all went out. I think it was me, McGreen, Williams, Cordell, Mitchell, dude, we all went out to Lake Havensu and shit, right?
SPEAKER_04Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01And she came with us because she was the only girl, and I'm like, you're gonna run they're gonna run a train on this chick.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. But thank god you just see it coming, yeah.
SPEAKER_01She did, yeah, but she didn't never did it. I gave her mad love for that shit. Oh, okay. So she stayed up my ass, dude. We're gonna barely talk to my friends, bro. Right, unless almost kind of look at me like, should I talk to them? Like, I'm like, you can go in here alone with them, but I don't care who you talk to me. Yeah, right. Like they're marines, I know it's gonna happen.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, there's there's some form of uh there's we have to get yeah, so you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so um, yeah, fucking I thought it was weird. So we all went out, dude. We were all all the clubs that night, dude. They still went to like four in the morning in Arizona, right? Yeah, I don't like dude next thing you know.
SPEAKER_02You know, they always say New York City, the city never sleep. I know it's real, I know it's true. Like, yo, you go out and at 2 a.m. the buses are still running.
SPEAKER_01It's fucking nuts, dude. LA too. Wow, transit goes the whole time, yeah. The whole thing. So, anyway, so I was saying like so happened to be that night, fucking we fucking were talking with a bunch of fucking Mexican dudes outside this fucking one club. And um, I remember fucking Cordell fucking just breaking this dude's policy. He's like, Yo, I fucking want to do a fucking line essay, and he's fucking with him. He's being racist, dude. Yeah, but he's like, fucking with him. And the guy goes, eight ball for a hundred bucks. He's like, Yeah, he was like, Yeah, bullshit. He goes, he goes, Look, and he pulled out a rock, right? Yeah, he goes, all right, no doubt, right? But it's all fucking me, it only looked uh only three of us knew we had it. And I looked at him, I was like, You're sharing with me, motherfucker. Yeah, like I know you got it, you're sharing. You ain't gonna be all me bullshit, right? Me too. Yeah, fucking Mitchell goes, You ain't leaving this nigga out. So it was the fucking three of us. So we wanted to get real fucking drunk and coked up. Yeah, and me and her me and her had our own room at a red roof down the street. Yeah, so we had our own room, bro. We went back in that shit, bro. When I mean that was porn flick shit, I've regretted fucking her like that, dude.
SPEAKER_04Wow.
SPEAKER_01I know looking back on it, you're like, damn. I regretted it because now there was a standard, dude. True. Well, there was the all public guy that way, yeah, you have to pick this. Yeah, and now I know that's never gonna happen. Right. That was that that was that's like going four for four with four home runs.
SPEAKER_02That would that that was that was a super intoxicated and motherfuckers being like, yo, Sean, dude, I can't wait to see it at bat tonight, dude.
SPEAKER_01And dude, before you get it, four cookouts, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It was because I am too, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I hate saying it, like the whole time Buckner, bro. I didn't it took me probably a good 40 minutes before I was gonna felt to edge a bust a nut. Yeah, so it was just like, dude, like I had to like do shit in like that that would overly turn me up turn me out to be able to finish, dude. Because I knew that if I didn't, that was taken like normal positions, normal shit, yeah. I was never gonna fucking finish, and then I was gonna be pissed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, because if you don't know, you're mad at yourself.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you're like, dude, well, what the fuck? What the fuck?
SPEAKER_02And then she's gonna be mad at her pussy's bad. You feel like that you wasted a fucking prime prime pussy, you wasted it. One of your prime fucks, yeah, like you ain't gonna do that again for a while. Yeah, and you gave her no reason to give another chance to do it again. Like, you know, you let me down once. You want me to let you do it again? And it's like, nah, yeah, I promise.
SPEAKER_01I think most women, if they gave them fucking nine orgasms and squirted, yeah, and you didn't, they're not gonna care. No, and that's what I mean. But like for me, I was like, I have to nut for myself, dude. You know what I mean? And but it was just one of them nights where like the liquor and the coke hit the dick, like fucking prime Viagra, dude. Yeah, like Barry Bond, like that, and it was just fucking it wasn't happening, and it fucked up, dude. And it was big and veiny, it was nice, dude. I never had my salute like that. It was pulsating, dude. Really? It was you know the dude was going, but it wasn't like a cum, it was like it was such a rage hard on it. It was like fucking doing that. Wow, and I was like, dude, you can literally see it like someone was fucking doing curls. Wow, and the vein was popping out of their arm. That's one of them, but dude, it never happened, only time ever. Never ever ever happened. I tried so many times, it's got me a coke issue. You should have to recreate it. Yeah, I was like, yo, that's what it does.
SPEAKER_02Not to be funny, that's how addictions like develop because people want the same feeling before. So in this case, you're looking for a look, then it's just not gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01But I'll tell you right now, I'd be like Tony Montana right now, with my head in a pile of coke, right now, if I knew my cock would be massively fucking large and vani and thick and full, like a fucking fool had a hair in the 80s, yeah. Then fucking I would literally sit here and put my head there, say hello to my big friend. That's what I'd be doing. Yeah, yeah, for real. Boom. Fucking for real. This shit was fucking crazy, bro. Oh man. But um, I mean, yeah, I mean, I just that that was such a one-off, you know what I mean? Like, but it's just weird because like even me being back in relationship with someone I'm in a back in relationship with someone I was in a relationship previously. Yeah, even that I hate saying that, even that sex part's completely different. Right. Me and her used to fuck around in our relationship before we split up and now we got back together. Yeah, I was never quick. Right. I was never fucking, it's gotta be, bro. I'm so used to not getting any. Yeah, that when you do that I am so hyped that I am that I'm probably borderlinking a nut before I walk in the door. Right. Or even get my pants out the way. And that's and and that's bad. And I've made this comment multiple times. Don't expect fucking 10, 15, 20 minutes of fucking when I only get it fucking twice every three months.
SPEAKER_04That's true.
SPEAKER_01You're not you're not gonna get that. And then you play that whole I'm disappointed. Well, if you gave it to me more, you wouldn't be. Yeah, you're right. You know what I mean? And but but women don't see that analogy because they ain't got a cock.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they don't understand. They don't understand. There's there's some things that they'll never get that's obvious.
SPEAKER_01That's that's oh, I'm gonna tell you one thing right now, dude. That's definitely one of them, then yeah, that's definitely one of them because they don't have no recollection of the comparison, they don't understand, they don't under they don't get it. You know what I mean? A girl can literally, bro, just take dick, dude. Yeah, and be like, that one's curved just right, hits my spot, I'm gonna come. You know what I'm saying? Like there's it's just the way that is, dude. The girls are a different situation than we are, yeah. So they don't understand the differences here, you know what I mean? Like, they don't understand, like you can fucking plow yourself with a fucking 10-inch dildo three times a day, yeah, and continue to get off.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we can't.
SPEAKER_01We're eventually gonna nut smoke, right? It's gonna be nothing. We're gonna get there, we're gonna get the feeling of an ejaculation, there's nothing's gonna come out.
SPEAKER_02It's gonna be a little dribble and yo, that's the worst feeling because then you start wondering, like, at some point am I gonna like nut powder? Like, yo, nothing is coming now.
SPEAKER_01It's and it yo hurts. I get the same feeling, but after right, my balls start to hurt. Yeah, my balls hurt really bad. Because there's been times, like I said, even with fucking like my wife now, we would fuck so much, dude, to where like like it would get to the point to where the same thing, like it would get to a certain nut that day, yeah, and that it would almost feel like someone punched you in the balls, dude. Yeah, because you're ejaculating there's nothing to come out. It's empty empty, dude. Completely empty. Yeah, and then I'd noticed that when you overfuck two for a dude, yep, you ain't completely recouped tomorrow.
SPEAKER_03No, it takes like three days, bro.
SPEAKER_01And then you try to fuck, say, for example, you were like, Oh, you got fucking turned on, and you fucking wanted to fuck, or you wanted to fucking jerk off, dude. And you realize you're like, Oh, here I go, I'm gonna fucking bust my nut, and then all of a sudden you get like one little squirt. That's it. Yeah, so like you're right, you gotta wait like three or four days to get another full nut out of you if you're melt, dude.
SPEAKER_02Or sometimes you go so long that you don't expect the size of the nut that you're getting. Like, oh fuck, Jesus Christ, dude. I didn't realize you're like life gets busy, yeah. No shit. And like by the time you hit the bed, you're done, you're tired, you're done.
SPEAKER_01There's been plenty of times for me with jerking off. I had to be like fucking Muhammad, I'll do the fucking hoop and go. I've done that before because I've literally been fucking beaten it before dude and I'm all in the fucking count when I'm going, and it just happened to be at somewhat of an upward angle when you're laying down, yeah. And next thing you know, I'm fucking doing it, dude. And I had to do one of the do do the fucking head move. Yeah, and fucking wind up with a puddle in my collarbone. Yeah, holy shit, dude. I almost fucking gave myself a facial son.
SPEAKER_02Bro, like I yo, I give women mad credit for the sexual shit that they do because they I never do it. Like after I'm done, I don't I don't want the like I hate feeling come on me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, I mean I yeah, but you want to know here's the here's the worst part. 80% of the women vote are dead. R IP. It's not gonna happen. Well, the you know what I mean. No, I get it, but what I'm saying is that we can go I want to go on that road quick. You bitches don't do shit.
SPEAKER_02You for me to be for me to be make that reference word to make like click in my mind instantly is crazy. Women don't know. But he's right. A lot of you guys don't don't do it.
SPEAKER_01Women don't do shit. Here's what's fucked up. I've been in I've been in a lot of relationships where my fucked woman is cheated, okay? And they ain't even gotta use, we ain't gonna vocalize a statement, bro. Yeah, I know you sucked his dick, dude. Yeah, I know you did. Yeah, because I guarantee that he's fucking already implied that that's what he wants. That's one of the things he wants out of you. Yeah, and if you're willing to fucking cheat, what are you gonna do? You're going for it, son. You're gonna suck his dick, but I bet you goddamn right. It's been about fucking two years since you blew your man. You know what I'm saying? But that's what's fucked up. It's like it's like eating my pussy, I ain't gonna suck your dick. Fuck you, bro. I'd I'd I'd rather nut in three minutes and fucking rinse your pussy juice off off of the sink and go back to the fucking my movie.
SPEAKER_02I don't know how many guys have been fucking you, so no, I'm not doing that. I'm only doing that for like yeah, my girl, seriously, yeah, my girl.
SPEAKER_01Like, but I'm saying exclusively locked down. Yeah, but what I'm trying to say is that a lot of times it is your wife or your long-term girlfriend when she winds up and slides on you, you don't know. Yeah, and in the back of my mind, dude, like when you find out, you already know. There's no fucking, there's no there's no woman on earth that would tell me if they cheated on their man or their husband, dude. Yeah, that the dude that they cheated with, they didn't fucking cock cock gobble his fucking cock. You're a liar, you're lying horror. I know you did. I know you did, because you want to know what? I've been in your shoes, motherfucker. I know, and I'm gonna tell you something right now. If I'm gonna fucking cheat, bro, I'm getting it all, dude. Yeah, like I'm talking about there better be borderline subliminal messages of the third hole being open, son. Because if I'm going for it, dude, and I'm gonna risk my relationship, it better be worth its weight in gold, dude. Yeah, and that means you better be willing to fucking set my dick. Yeah, if I ask for facial, you should say, I love getting my face painted, bam. Like, I I I I love the taste to come, I swallow. Good. You better burp afterwards, baby. I'll fucking burp you like a baby on my knee. Do it all. You better do it all. Because I'll tell you right now, the only that that'd be under the only circumstance where I would ever consider an actual cheat is if it was worth just wait. If it's if it if it'd be if it would be worth it, I would do it.
SPEAKER_02Wait, hold on. Just I I can't be understanding this correctly. You're not saying that if they have bad sex, then it doesn't count, right?
SPEAKER_01No, okay. That's not by your chance. No, but no, but no, but no, what I'm saying is that what's good for the goose is good for the gander, bro. Like if you're fucking if you used to blow me all the time, and then over a course of years it comes to not not just a fucking slowdown or lack of consistency, it just fucking stopping, yeah, then that's a fucking problem for me, dude.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because you want to know what I obviously don't expect to be blown every fucking single time we do shit. That's not my expectation, dude. I have zero expectation of fucking getting getting my fucking chick sucked every time I mess with my chick. It's not on my list. I understand that things change, dude. But like I don't expect it every time. But like, if there's zero reason, bro, why I don't catch a blowjob once a month. There's no reason for it. Not no, not once a month. There's no reason for it. And I've but I would be accepting of one. Um well then the bar isn't hell, but it's fine. That's what you will accept. So you can't do it. You know what I don't need, but but again, and then and then and then I love and I love these women too, who I know why you do it. You think you're slick bitches, and you're not okay. You just think you're slick and you say shit to people when you turn around and be like, I don't like my pussy, and yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. I don't know.
SPEAKER_02Like, I you know, I've been thinking about that independently on my own for a while.
SPEAKER_01And like I would say 50-50, but still, dude.
SPEAKER_02Do you think those women exist or they're really just like, I don't like my pussy?
SPEAKER_01No, you want to know what it probably is? They probably had multiple bad experiences where they got nothing out of but getting their pussy licked on, yeah. And fucking were like, What's the point of having the next guy try? Because the fucking last six guys failed. It's still it's it's that that that that's like some girl fucking I love sucking dick, but she uses her teeth. You're not gonna want to suck your dick anymore, dude. Because you ain't gonna come and you're gonna have chafing. It's just what comes with it, dude. Okay, so it that but so what I'm but no, what I'm saying is that in my opinion, is a lot of girls who say they don't like getting their pussy eating is for a fucking a reason, yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's so they don't have to feel obligated to suck your dick, it's to void it out, dude, because you don't want to so it's it's kind of the woman equivalent of doing the dishes badly, so that she won't ask you to do it.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, for sure. We've got to understand because women know that most dudes, if they got to choose, yeah, they would not eat pussy, they they know they would choose a blowjob over fucking you.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah, yeah, I agree. 90 and you know I never I never used to be that guy until about two almost two years ago.
SPEAKER_01Let's say shift this is this is why I think you want to know what you know what I mean. I maybe as I got a little bit older, but I noticed that if I'm fucking just relaxing and my dick sucked, yeah, okay, and watching my show and just chilling, yeah, and I know she's naked and I know she's blowing me. I gotta sit here and fight off my fucking nut because she wants to fuck. And I hate that feeling because I gotta tell you to stop or I gotta tell you to slow down, and then you tell you to chill and whatever else. And I'm not doing all that, dude.
SPEAKER_02I'd know we were into we're gonna do sex talking. We ain't gonna be able to do that. If you're gonna ask if you didn't if you'd ask me what this episode would have been about on the way over here. I couldn't have been wrong, but yo, the reason I love a woman that enthusiastically blows you and wants to blow you is you don't have to rush her, dude. You can just sit there and you just have an idea and watch the ending of your game.
SPEAKER_01But a lot of things small talker way through bowling, it's a fucking amazing. Yeah, it is, but a lot of times that's their way of getting their fucking hooks and they take it away. True.
SPEAKER_02So I still think about that to this day for a reason, right?
SPEAKER_01There you go. You know what I mean? There's a little fucking question, it's the way it goes. Okay, but I mean I'm saying, like, for me, dude, like it's not I think the sec I I think I think the Indians third inning. I yeah, but what I'm saying is I I I think a sexual experience between the man and woman should go both ways, dude. Yeah, absolutely. It shouldn't be fucking whatever. I've always been a giver, bro. I'm not trying to be mean, dude. I know that there's gonna be a lot of times, and then there's a lot of women, dude, who cannot have actual orgasm during penetration. That is a fact. That is a that is a medical fucking fact, dude. That there is a super high percentage. Over 70% of women cannot have fucking orgasm vaginally, dude. It's a known fact, okay? And with me known that fucking forever, yeah, is exactly why I'm finger banging you and sucking your clip, dude. I'm not doing that because I fucking literally, yeah, I love it, like it makes me hard. No, because I'm trying to return the finger. I'm trying to give get you one off in the front end, yeah, so that fucking when I fuck you for twenty minutes and you don't come, at least I know you had one or two. Yeah. Or you splurted, or something happened. Right. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02That's just what you need something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I'm I'm I'm a giver because I don't want to be a selfish partner in that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01You have you have you have every right to fucking come like I do. Yeah. And if I know that I can't fuck fuck you and give you one, then I'm gonna eat your pussy and finger you till you do. And then I'll go next. And then and then I'll take it on my head and I'll fucking slow and deep you. Yeah. Like I said, the heat makes it tingle. You know what I'm saying? Like it's just what it is. But I'm just saying you've gotta be sharing, dude.
SPEAKER_02Now to wrap this sex talk part up today, right? Now I'm not in a situation. Sorry. I'm not in a situation to where like I don't have to hide anything from anybody, and it's the best thing. Like when it comes to women, it's great. So like Jasmine knows about Jordan and Jordan knows about Jasmine, and then everybody's all on the same page.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they all know.
SPEAKER_02Right?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02So I don't have to worry about what what I say to one and getting back to the other. Okay. But I think what I think like what has made Jordan really sad over the past couple of days is I think I may have unintentionally told her that I like Jordan, like she's here, and like Jordan's like here. Yeah, yeah. And she knows that now. Unintentionally, I I fucking prove I proved that so I was going through to like when like how how I would tell uh Jasmine, like, yo, like I need to fuck you at least three times before the fourth one, then we can count that as you getting proper dick because you're so fine, yeah. That I'm gonna come quick. Yeah, I'm not gonna last with you. Yeah, it's either that or I'm gonna have to backshot you since sound like a talking downtown Chicago, yeah. You know, yeah, old block, right? And I go, because if I look at you, make and me knowing that what I'm doing is making you nut is gonna fucking finish me in like fucking like 12 seconds, dude. Yeah, so you have to give me at least like three chances of that don't count.
SPEAKER_04Yep.
SPEAKER_02And the fourth one, then then then it can start judging me. Yeah, but for the first three, but so do I show those screenshots to Jordan. I wouldn't. Well, sorry, done now, but I was trying to tell her that like this is how long we've been fucking as long as how long I've been after this girl, dude. Right. Well, we're we're best friends, like I understand. You know what I mean? I'm not trying to be an asshole.
SPEAKER_01You're brought trying to fuck, but you still don't deep down know if like her intent is to fucking be like, I want him to explore other girls to for him to prove that I'm entirely, yeah, right. And that's what I mean. Like you overdevolve unintentionally.
SPEAKER_02I I didn't think about it until recently. I go, fuck. I go, now she knows.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That I never told her, no, you I need you to flip around quick. Or here's a tower.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think that's something that's why I was like, you accidentally over and over and over and over developed.
SPEAKER_02So, like, but the point I'm trying to make is can't like is that valid? Do you agree that if your bitch is bad, like to you, she can't go to eight, she can be 800 pounds, but as long as she's like your ideal fuck, yeah. Do you get like at least a couple three goals before you start judging me?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you should have a couple on, yeah. You think you think so? Yeah, okay. See, because like for me, I hate saying it. I can fuck a chick, I can fuck a 10 right now, yeah, on her back and not come at all. Yeah, right. Because I don't care about that, dude. I don't care about working at you and we're having a eye connection and shit. I don't care about any of that, dude. But but I'm telling you right now, once I see that ass jiggle and I'm behind it, I got about 30 seconds, dude. So you better be a skinny bitch and ask no something.
SPEAKER_02I'm such an asshole because I didn't mean it in the way that it came off. It's just that to her, her face is so fine to me that if I know I can I'm making her comments over.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, see, what's different for me is I lose it quick getting a blowjob. I cannot look at you, dude. I gotta look at the I I I gotta look at the popcorn ceiling or something, dude. Like I can't do that because if I'm looking at you and I'm watching, yeah, and I'm watching that girl actually, yeah, and she's pretty as fuck on top of that. I can't, dude, because um she's gonna say, tell me when you're gonna come, but I'm not gonna say anything because I'm fucking it should be any second. Yeah, I don't know. It could be yeah, you you say now and then you it goes away, and like she's gotta keep stopping and shit. You know what I mean? Like light speed, right? Like different times we're like or like I've edged multiple times and thought I was close, yeah, and I've finally been like now, and I edged her three times and she didn't believe me and kept going. And next thing now I get it shot in my throat, and I thought it's spitting on my rug. You know what I'm saying? So, like it's happening.
SPEAKER_02When you when you come across a woman who knows what she's doing with that, it's like nothing can compete with.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna tell you something right now, bro. There's only rock the mic right though. Yeah, no, here's I'm gonna say this though. This is one thing I definitely gotta say, and like I said, we'll get off the fucking sex thing, dude. Because here's the thing. Like, I sorry, mom, bro, I fucking hate one. I fucking hate being edged, dude. I hate it, but I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it. I want to punch you in the mouth, I wanna see blood, I fucking hate it, dude. I fucking hate it. Because you wanna know what you think you're almost there, it goes away. You think you're almost there, it goes away. You're waiting for the fucking tip off, it doesn't go. Yeah, you're doing it again, it doesn't go. You wanna know like being edged when I do it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, right, when I'm in control, yeah.
SPEAKER_01If like if I'm jerking off, dude, like and I'm like, yo, I don't want to go yet, apart's coming up better. Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to shill off shell.
SPEAKER_02I can't wait for her to fucking get it this way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'll shill, dude. Yeah, I can edge myself, but then I know I gotta do a ducking move. Yeah, because edging makes it fucking fling like fucking yogurt slinger, yeah. You know what I mean? And I get why they do it, because they want that reaction out of you, you know what I mean? They want that fucking mass explosion at the end. I get it, but like then at the end of the day, bro, it's like don't fucking do that shit to me because not to be an asshole, like one thing getting edged when you get edged multiple times, your balls do start to hurt, bro. Because your body's telling you you're that close to nutting you stop. Or I had to go do the shit with her thumb. She fucking knew I was about to nut, bro, and she literally pushed down on the fucking vein underneath and blocked the fucking nut, dude. She like did this with her thumb pushed right in the shaft, dude, on the bottom. Wow. And pushed the fucking under vein, dude, and made the fucking nut stop. And that shit hurt so bad. I wanted to beat her up, bro. I would too that shit hurt so bad. But then the fucking when I actually did nut, it was the greatest thing ever. Oh, did you right you did the right thing, you know what I'm saying? But like, we'll switch, dude. All right, because then we need to, because I know I gotta talk about this shit. Like, and it's fucked up, dude, because I hate the situation I got put in. Like, I feel like I got put in a real fucking bad situation, bro. Yeah, and then I had to fucking sit here and play fucking Charlie Chaplin in my own home. Yeah, and I don't like that shit, dude. Yeah, like I gotta fucking sit here and like I love my wife to death, dude. And I really wish things could be fucking different, bro. But like to be honest with you, dude, like it's like how it is how women say this with a man, yeah. They'll change for now, but they'll go back to the same shit. No week.
SPEAKER_02Give it three months.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, give it a couple weeks to go back to the same shit. Watch, you'll see. You'll still be a cheating piece of shit. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_02Do you do you think men serially cheat because they know that they can like like fucking like get away with it? It's like, yo, I if I if you knew with 100% certainty what every time that you were intentionally that you were going to cheat, it was gonna work, you'd do it, right?
SPEAKER_01Well, no, I mean I I would I think here's the thing. First things first, I'll be first and openly admit it. There's zero point in me cheating because I've never not gotten caught.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, right.
SPEAKER_01I just gave up at this point. I'm just not gonna bother because I've been caught every time I'm shopping, even if it didn't follow through. I've gotten caught in the process of attempting, like every fucking time. This just never never fails, yeah. All right, so I just gave up on the prospects of it, right? But when it comes to, like, say, for example, say a dude, a serial cheater, most dudes are the serial cheaters, dude. And this is a this is a fucking outright fact, yeah. Because I've watched people in these relationships do these women fucking know they're doing it, they're aware, yeah. And because and because they're complicit in the act, and the dude has no recourse or punishment for what he's doing, yeah, he gives them zero reason to attempt to stop. Right. You're not saying I'm taking me, me and the kids are leaving, you're not gonna do this to me anymore. No, yeah, you're fucking you know that the woman in certain situations, the woman knows, dude, that fucking he may be cheating, but he comes home and he takes care of the kids and he pays the bills and he does this, and she knows that if she leaves, she's gonna have to go through a struggle for a minute. And there's certain women that are old school enough to be like, I don't want to struggle if my man's taking care of me. Let him do what he wants to do. Let him do what he wants to do. Um, don't bring no STDs home. There's certain women that are like that, but there's another women, dude, who just don't tolerate it, bro. You she wants them out, you know what I mean? Like and and and I hate being a double standard guy here, dude. But I think it's completely different in a man cheating and a woman cheating. There is a difference. Well, there's a huge difference, bro. Yeah, like they said on many podcasts, me and you could pass this bottle back and forth for two hours, dude. And then still take a drink. But if me and you fucking kept jamming our fingers in the cup over and over and over and over and over again, yeah, I don't it's first up, it's not gonna taste the same, right? And secondly, dude, it's gonna look dirty and disgusting. Yeah, it's just the nature of the situation. You don't know what kind of fucking dirty ass dick she had in her, dude. You don't know, you don't know if she did she use protection, did he not in her? She gonna come pregnant by some other dude. Did she put it back in? Like, fuck, dude. She did, do I have to sit and think about he was fucking slamming her so fucking hard it slipped out and she grabbed it? Did they make a joke again? Like, come on, bro. After they were done nutting, where they're going, I'm gonna go and take a shower and fuck my man so we don't think I'm cheating. Yeah, like was I was I was I the butt of a joke? Yeah, but that that that's shit I'm talking about. Yeah, it's like that's why I think it's completely different. It is like for me, like there's no feeling in it, bro. Yeah, that's what I mean. There's no emotional attachment for me. Like, I'll be honest with you, dude. She's just got a waste that I want to get behind. Yeah, yeah, dude. That grab that and that dude, I'm not hate saying it, bro. Like, but I know I'm not the only fucking man on earth, and this is just me speaking for my own own opinion, and everyone can tell it to their own too. Yeah, but like for mine, my fucking cheating attempt, dude. Yeah, like I I again I hate saying it, like yeah, dude, like there was I I there was a reason for my action, and the reason for my action to uh make the fucking cheating attempt was because I'm about sick and tired, dude, of jerking off, dude. When there's when when there's a full ass fucking woman in my home, dude, yeah, that's my fucking wife who fucking just won't do shit. Now it comes to me sexually, like and and then turn around and then ask me a question, I have a right to know why you did what you did, and then you give them the fucking answer, and then you're being told I'm gaslighting you. Yeah, that's that's that's just why I answer I answered. That's just one you want to know? I need to raise my voice. This is exactly how I comedy answered this question. Yeah, she goes, Oh, so so you're gonna gaslight me now. And I looked at her and I go, I go, hold on here. Yeah, I go, I don't think under the terminology of gaslighting, dude, yeah, is under the circum under under the guise of fucking me saying you asked me a question of why I was gonna do what I did, and I said it's because you don't give me anything sexually at home. I figured I had to go get it from somewhere else. Yeah, I go that to me that's not gaslighting. No, that's what you get.
SPEAKER_02And then I don't ask questions, you don't want the answer.
SPEAKER_01And I that's what I I said that too. I I I go, I go, you're using you're using me gaslighting you. Yep. I go because she don't want to accept that answer. Yeah, not even accept the answer. Except that fucking you forced my hand here. Like, how many times do you got to get rejected so you stop trying? So you can't you can't continually Joshua dude, there's no way that there's not a woman on earth, dude, that doesn't understand the fucking fact that like a dude's only gonna stand for getting rejected so much until they don't longer want to try. Because what's the point of trying if the answer is usually 90% chance of no? There's no point, and then I gotta hear stupid shit like this. A real man wouldn't give it a shit. No, no, no, no, I hear stupid shit like this. Like, she's like, Oh, you think because fucking like you give me a kiss and fucking rub my ass and fucking those are loving actions. Give me, give me, give me a fucking head now, like I'm one of your homies, and take a motherfucker, take my fucking clothes off. And I use this exact statement, bro, and she had no idea what to say. She got the fuck up, bro, and went in the bedroom. Because that proved me I was 100% right. Yeah, just go to what I said. I said, I don't know, then I don't know what the fuck you want from me then. Yeah, I go, I I go I go. I'm absolutely utterly confused at this point. Yeah, because I go, the simple fact of the matter, dude, is I go, how many fucking times have you said to me most of our sex is gonna be have to be quickies, babe? Yeah, that's not that's not right neither. I'll take it. And I won't even complain, dude, because I understand the circumstances, okay? Yeah, there's a baby, yeah, there's Quinn. He's normally never home. He can't be here nut slapping on his mom's ass. I understand, dude. I get it. I completely understand, dude. Alright, I get it. So don't turn around and tell me that by me rubbing your ass and fucking hinting towards fucking wanting to have sex quickly, as me fucking why would I want to do it, babe? Because you're not making any effort. How you told me we're supposed to have quickies, dude. Like I'm literally listening to what you're telling me to do, and then I'm doing what you're telling me to do, and then somehow, bro, I'm not giving, I'm not showing any effort into making you want to have sex with me when you told me that we're not gonna be able to have full on sex for a while because there's a baby in the house, dude.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01So so that's when I looked at her, I said, What do you want fucking rose petals and shit, bro? Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. She looked at me, she was like, Yeah, be nice, I'm your wife. I said, Well, I'm your husband, dude, and you don't below me, bro. What do I get, dude? Not to be fucked up, Joshua, and I hate fucking making this like a selfish thing because I know it's gonna cause me being very selfish, like about me, yeah, and and it is to a point, but not all the way, okay. Yeah, I I don't understand why she doesn't grasp the fucking the basic nuances of our relationship, okay?
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01When I was going through my cancer stuff, bro, I wasn't getting erections, dude. Right, right, it was like semis at best, dude. Like I would have to squeeze it really hard at the bottom and get it inside of her because it would be not hard enough, dude. Okay, so I had an issue for about 18 months, bro, and I understand that that kind of set the sexual standard in the house, yeah, that most of the time it didn't work. But I was very, very, very clear, dude, and when things fucking went to remission and I got off certain medications, dude, and it took a little while, and I started waking up the morning hard ons again, and things were fucking changing, and my sex drive was coming back, and I've kept her in the loop, bro, the whole fucking way, dude. Yeah, none of it was a fucking secret, bro. So, but I'm trying to be and again, I was trying to be understanding, dude. Yeah, that me having the fucking sexual the the the fucking you know the ED problem and the sex drive issue under under my fucking cancer medication situation, I understand that's set a sexual precedent in the home. I get it, dude. And I tried to be more understanding of that, bro. Like I understand that like it went from we were fucking all the time, and then I got sick, and I was like, stopped, yeah. And then it came back, and I know I think in the instant transition to go ahead and let's fuck three, four times a week now. Right. I understand the easy transition, but bro, it still just whittled down to like once, twice a month, and I'm just what the fuck, dude. And then it'll be the next excuse. I'm fucking sad, I'm not feeling good. They need to switch my meds. I got appointments, I'm tired, I'm working, the baby's got OT, quid's got fucking football. We're busy, I'm always tired, I got a headache, I don't feel good. If you want some, my period's coming, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, and like who the who the fuck wants to be like, yo, I want you to come fuck me today because I'll probably in the next day or two. Yeah, like to me, dude, when a girl does that, bro, I don't want to do it.
SPEAKER_02It's kind of a turnoff. That's what I mean.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to do it, dude.
SPEAKER_02A big part of sex is the spontaneity of it.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to be rushed into it, bro. Yeah, not to be a dick, dude. I'm Josh, I'm 49.
SPEAKER_02I kinda, even right now at the age of the city.
SPEAKER_01Rush in now, dude.
SPEAKER_02Rushed into sex and you hate me, dude. Not even just rust. I hate like say that you have like a nice dinner plan tonight, right? Like you can put odds on your fucking on your on your sexual encounter, right? You'd give yourself high odds, you put you you put like 50 bucks on it, bro. Yeah, go on go in Bellergina's, you know. Yeah, you got some shit plan, you hanging out, whatever. 80% chance, you're probably gonna get some pussy that right.
SPEAKER_01I spent $300 yesterday and got nothing.
SPEAKER_02And like when it doesn't happen on that night, I got one that stings.
SPEAKER_01I got I got I I got I got a I I I got a hug and then was told You could you could fuck me over any other night, bro. Listen, hold on. That one spent $300 yesterday, dude. I got a hug. I got you know I love you, babe. And did you notice I'm wearing your wedding ring? That that that that would that was my consolation pie prize for $300.
SPEAKER_02You want to know where the bar was for for for Jordan that amazed her about me? This is why I'm kind of pissed, because I feel like I built the perfect girlfriend for this guy.
SPEAKER_01That's not you, dude.
SPEAKER_04I know.
SPEAKER_01But that's again, I mean I hate saying that. I mean you're different fucking people. I that just would have dumped me in a fucking movie theater, fucking parking lot. Should I have never spoken to it again, so we're different people, dude. But I don't want to set her house on fire. That'd have been me.
SPEAKER_02What was I saying?
SPEAKER_01You built the perfect girlfriend for somebody else.
SPEAKER_02No, but there was a reason why I was saying that. Well, what what were you talking about before that?
SPEAKER_01I'm talking about fucking sex stuff again. About fucking how fucking if you break stuff fucking up to eat, and ah, yes, okay, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Just don't fuck me over around that night, dude. Cause like, so okay, yeah, okay. So the bar is like almost in hell for this girl, right? What amazed her about me, what made her stick around? You're not gonna believe this. She goes, When we have to reschedule, and I'm like, yo, I picked up a shift at work, can we do tomorrow instead? She's like, Why do you never get mad? And I'm like, Because why would I get mad? Like, you make it seem like I'm never gonna see you again.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no shit.
SPEAKER_02Like, if we have to reschedule a week, it's fine.
SPEAKER_01But if you're doing it all the time, I'm gonna get pissed, right? But like, yeah, once in a while thing, shit happens.
SPEAKER_02I'm just like, yeah, whatever. And she's like, Yo, she's like, she came over that week and she she couldn't make it like amazed her, dude. She's like, You never fucking get pissed off, dude. You're just like, all right, yeah, if that's the case, you can push it all the time. I never get mad because I'm I'm accommodating, like I'm I'm understanding that makes me stand out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because dude, y'all can't. That's crazy, bro. That's another thing.
SPEAKER_02All because I'm not like oh, you fucking bitch.
SPEAKER_01Like, like, for example, like this is what I don't understand. Fucking like Cassie gets like gets mad. Yeah. Are you ready for this shit? Me not saying anything when she gets home late. Because you want to know what?
SPEAKER_02Because I how about how about how do you at least say, like, did you like work overtime or something? Oh, me? Yeah. When I was gonna do what I was gonna do? No, no, no, no, no, no. Like, like the fact that you don't say anything that she works for you. Like, are you ever like do you like did you pick up extra hours or say not a word?
SPEAKER_01But here's the thing. Yeah, no, um, yep, and again, this is why a man can't win. Okay, and I'm gonna tell you why I don't say anything.
SPEAKER_02Well, no, I I get why you wouldn't, because I don't trust me.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't say anything, yeah, because anytime that I have, I get the whole I already know you think I fucking I'm late because I was fucking right, yeah, yeah. So you why am I gonna say anything, dude? You can't win on the I can't be like I can't be like, oh I go, what do you have to do after work? You're late. Yeah, suck another guy's house, right, Sean? Right, exactly. So I'm just like, yeah, why am I gonna bother with you? Yeah, no, you're right. And then when you don't say anything, it's like, well, you don't even fucking check on me. Like, you don't even check it out on side of the road. And it's like, dude, but if I check, you're cheating, dude. And like, if I don't, I don't care. Like, I what there's no middle on that one, dude.
SPEAKER_02I guess that's part of like how I'm how I'm in the dating situation that I'm in now. But there's no middle on this. Because like I think I was like, I think you ever you ever want to have an argument, but you don't want to have it with the person you should have it with, right? You just want to have an argument because that way, at least the argument's out of your system, you let the other thing go. Yeah, right. So honestly, I'm trying to pick a fight with somebody, and it just happened to be jazz. And I'm like, yo, I was a straight asshole. I was like, all right, look, dude, I totally understand your marriage situation, but at this point, the shit that we do for each other. I showed you the text, yeah. You're my girlfriend now, okay, right? We're we're dating now, okay. Like, I was expecting a pushback, so you know we can't do that, yeah. Some kind of fight, because I don't want to fight with this girl, yeah. I'll fight with you, whatever.
SPEAKER_01No, well, it was the same thing for me, dude. I Joshua, I should, I should not, and I'm not gonna lie, bro. Like, I'll fuck you next week. Like what dude, there was yeah, there was a part of you though, like like me and her had to fucking fight on the on the third, right? You can't say the fight on the third, yeah. Like it takes a lot for me to lose my temper, dude. Yeah, like I don't lose my temper, bro, because that takes me out of character. I'm not that's not my that's not my deal, dude. I'm not the bug out scream and yell guy. I never have been, bro. Yeah, I'm more of a fucking I'm gonna insult you in a monotone fashion until you you the one who wanna bug out. But you want to know what, bro? Like I said to her when how the whole thing went down. I am you only can be called idiot retarded moron so many fucking times and a half ass lazy fuck so much till you fucking about sick of that shit. Yeah, and she said it one too many times fucking on fucking on the third, bro, and I lost my fucking temper, dude.
SPEAKER_02I don't blame you there.
SPEAKER_01I turned around and I was like, I am about fucking sick of this shit. Yeah, I was like, you wanna know what, bro? I said, I fucking walk around this fucking house, dude, and I do every fucking little fuck crummy ass fucking thing you fucking ask me, and I don't even bitch, dude. I don't mope, I don't complain, I don't say fucking shit. I do laundry, I do the dishes, I cook dinner, and I do the dishes after dinner, and I said you're coffee for you the next day. I go, I don't fucking bother nobody in this bitch. I go, and I'm fucking trying to be helpful and I'm gonna be called a fucking retard. Fuck you, dude. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. For real. And then next thing you know who the fuck do you think you're fucking talking about? Here we go. Fight on, dude. Yeah. Because that's fucking it.
SPEAKER_02Just like yo, I almost got into a fight with Graham's neighbor. Can I tell you about that? So there's there's this guy, I think it was Monday night, I think it was old house. Nah, that was across the street. It was about to be nah. It's a white dude, it's a white dude with a Hispanic girlfriend who boxes him around. Skinny white guy. And it was about to be Monday Night Raw for real, bro. Because Monday night Monday night raw is having on Monday, Monday night. So there's someone on her ring. He's not not he's not knocking the door, he's not pressing the ring doorbell, he's just doing this shit in front of the ring. Right? And Graham's like, someone's at my door out front. You want to go check it out? I go, Yeah, I'll go out, whatever. I'll go out there. He goes, yo. He goes, Can you move your car? Now I parked where I always park, which is a little above the apron of across the street where Patty used to live. Yeah. Okay. You don't want to even block in on it. Right, yeah. And and and the lady was nice enough that one time, she was like, yo, do you mind if you park up a little bit more? Because sometimes I almost hit your car coming out. Alright, fine. I'll proper, I'll park up more. So I started parking up more. Now this guy comes outside and he he's asking me to move my car to park up the street. Basically, they're acting like they have assigned parking. Like that's their that's oh there's their spot.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, no, that ain't gonna work.
SPEAKER_02And so he's trying to be nice on the porch in my face. Man to man, trying to be decent. He's like, yo, can you please move? And I could tell, you know, he didn't want to deal with the headache from his girl. He's in he's in relationship hell right now. You know what I mean? You know what it's like, I know what it's like. You just want your girl to shut the fuck up, bro. Yeah, you should do what she asked. Right, yeah, no, so so he's trying to do he's trying to do what what I would do and what you would do, what couldn't do, what Sully would do, what any man would do is bro to bro, just be like, yo, save the argument. Yo, please, please, bro. And I was about to do it, bro. I was about to grab my keys, and then his fucking Hispanic girl had to talk shit and be like, Yeah, that's right, you white motherfucker. I put my keys back on the table. I said, I'm sorry, dog. I'm sorry, bro. Lock the door butt, lock the door button on me. Put my keys on the table, Grandpa's. What was that about? I go, Well, I was about to fucking move the car for the dude, but I go, because they did it the week before.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So the fact that I meant that I moved my car one time because she asked about the about me like being close to her car, you know, close to apron. So I think in her mind, because I did that, I'm gonna do whatever she asks of me. Yeah, she can bully everybody. Right, yeah, no, no, I'm sorry, bro. No, she's she's starting to fucking racially fucking screaming shit, yeah, dude. And I'm like, nah, I'm not moving it at all, period. And he's like, So you want a personal problem with me? I go, I I guess so. Because deep down, I mean, I'd say this to him, but deep down, I'm not afraid of you when you're afraid of your girlfriend.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no shit.
SPEAKER_02Sorry, yeah.
SPEAKER_00If you're getting pumped by a chick, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh no, you know, I was I was I was gonna do the right thing, I was gonna do the bro to bro to bro move the shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so we didn't have to fight with his chick, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Save your fellow man has had a headache, yeah. But nah, bro, you need to keep your keep your girl on a leash to a point.
SPEAKER_01So she really yelled at shit.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and then then then he said her name where he's like code wrestler or whatever. And he's like, I'm trying to fucking handle it. No, you ain't handling nothing, bro. Nothing. Because I locked the fucking door behind me, and that was it.
SPEAKER_01And if they said she really said that's right way motherfucking car.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and I said, Oh nah, bro. Oh nah, hell no. So I threw the fucking sheet on the table, and then they did they they mashed on the fucking the the horn for a minute there.
SPEAKER_01Oh, did they?
SPEAKER_02They blew the horn and then get you to move, yep, and then they parked facing this way on Graham's side of the street facing downward where you ain't supposed to park, yeah, at all, and then then they did that again towards Jamie's old house, and then they ended up parking, and then I yelled up, I go, You have a two-stone garage, the people on the fucking corner.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, why are you not parking there?
SPEAKER_02She goes, Shut the fuck up, that's not your business. But no one's up there, yeah.
SPEAKER_01She's a ratchet border to get one then. What the fuck?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you go, like I know every man out there knows what I'm talking about. But that just save me. Look at his eyes, man. And he had the look, man, and he had me, bro. I was gonna do it. I was I was gonna help him, bro. Dude, I was in the act of doing it, bro.
SPEAKER_01And she just had to say shit.
SPEAKER_02And now now fucking everyone, the house, the entire house is all mad at me. And they're like, now if we have problems with these people, I'm like, bruh. She's like, you should have just moved the fuck. I go, what? So I have to be inconvenience and park up near Mitch's house. What if I want to go smoke a cigarette, listen to beats in my car? I gotta walk half a fucking mile to do it because she's uh petty and upset and angry. All because all because she wants to be able to park right in front of her house. There's no assigned seating, bro. Uh parking, sorry. It doesn't fucking work that way. Like, nah. So essentially, I'm dating a married woman uh just because I asked to. So that's what's going on in my life. Um I guess like for the first time ever I can say my girl is bad as fuck and mean it. Um Jordan's very happy for me. Uh there's some people who are not very happy for me. But oh no, oh man, desire family hate romance, I'll tell you. I I no no no wait, wait, hold on. I just now I I just thought I just think this is a romantic gesture. I didn't do it. I mean I did half of it, but I didn't do it for romance. But to me, this is a romantic gesture, okay? So so I called yesterday to Marquis, and all I asked because during COVID, remember you could just buy popcorn.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, right? Yeah, you should call and you should get popcorn and leave, yeah.
SPEAKER_02So I called COVID because uh obsession came out digital. I have it, I'm like Prime. Right? So uh I got it from your jasmine to watch it, right? But now they don't know the whole watch part, watch it with jasmine part, they don't know that. They just think I got the movie and I'm getting popcorn. So I call Marquis and I go, Hey, I go, do you guys still do the thing that you guys did during COVID with the popcorn in the bag? And they're like, Yeah, they're like, we have two different they go, we have a $15, which is literally like a big giant fucking like a Ziploc bag that a kilo would come in of popcorn, and then they have a $55 thing of popcorn, which is a garbage bag full of popcorn, right? I'm like, I don't need all that, dude. I was like, just give me the $15 one. So me and her kind of sort of had a fucking date night, bro. And I'm like, so just this concept, I'm trying to explain to them, it's a romantic concept. You could physically, if you wanted to, you could do a date a date night at home. Yeah, you can just go to the theater, get the popcorn. You have the movie, yeah. You you can have a real like a cheap date night. You don't have to go to the movie, you don't have to do the whole thing. Yeah, you gotta be fucking eating. Oh my god, dude. The kind of hate I was getting forgetting about the popcorn was insane, dude. Yeah, no way, dude. Grams did break come on, eat all the popcorn. You better eat every last drop. I go, holy fuck, dude. I go, yo, I only had a couple buckets of it.
SPEAKER_01Listen, you know what it is, though? I I hate saying dudes because Graham was in a fucking very unromantic fucking relationship. Right. And Scott's bitter stuff. And Jill, Jill only dated fucking drug addicts in time. So I was like, fucking, you got that, and then and then I think then you got your mama Dave. Yeah, I know. So you look at it, you none of the women in our family understand when a dude's trying to be romantic.
SPEAKER_02I don't know where I get my romantic ways, but to me that that's romantic to me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because what no, you put thought into it, you know what I mean? Like I I know where you get it from. You fucking you don't know what you're doing. You're winging it. Yeah, I do. You know, you want to do something nice. What's gonna come over? You're gonna think of something.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and like just like just like the Taco Bell thing, just like with Jordan with her Taco Bell thing, like how she loves Taco Bell. So I'm like, fuck it, dude. Let's home make her her favorite Taco Bell menu items. Like, other men are asking me, they're like, where the fuck did you come with that idea? And I'm like, it's pretty simple, bro. She loves Taco Bell and she likes my cooking. Yeah, so I'm gonna combine the two, yeah, and just you know, give her what she wants. And like she moaned eating it. She was like, Oh my god, it's amazing.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's what I mean. Like, that's not her.
SPEAKER_02They're like, they're that's gay, that's stupid. I'm like, I think it's awesome, dude.
SPEAKER_01Like, no, and you're thinking of her, like, but dude, here's the worst part though, for at least for me, is that because we were raised in a very, very unaffectionate, unloving fucking group of people, dude. Yeah, that like Yeah, like for for us to even make the effort to be like, I'm saying, bro. Because if I don't get that out of me, like for example, like I know, like for example, like on Cassie's birthday, yeah, I know that I make a bomb ass shrimp scampi. Yeah, so it's in it, and it's one of her favorite dishes. No, so every every single big measure birthday just skipped it. That's what I mean. Like, what the fuck? So every single birthday, I buy fresh shrimp, I do the whole leg run. I'll do the frozen ones that are already ready. Yeah, I do the fresh shrimp, I deter them, I take the shells off, I fucking buy fresh pasta from Maria's.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, dude, you do it up, yeah, man.
SPEAKER_01I get all the fresh ingredients, I make the fucking I make the fucking sauce from scratch, I do the whole thing. Okay, and I know like that when I do shit like that, dude. I'm like, that's my way, and I know what certain people don't like that fucking stupid.
SPEAKER_02That's my that's my way of romance, bro. And like I was getting picked on for it, and like I was like, you know, how do girls focus it?
SPEAKER_01That's my love language.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you know, they love it, so I don't care if they're mad, I don't care. Jasmine is happy, butcher's dog, so I don't care what they think.
SPEAKER_01Like, I'm not trying to be like, for example, like why is that picked on, dude?
SPEAKER_02Like, for example, like I fucking there's been uh not a lot, but a couple times like I'll even give you my fucking Amazon if you want to watch um obsession digital. I bought it, I have it for good.
SPEAKER_01I've rented it, I have it. There's been fucking times too where like I've done something like for Cassandra, right? Whether it's whether it's butt or something, or you know, got her flowers just because, or yeah, made a special dinner for her. Or maybe made fucking something special for dinner for a birthday or something. Anything I would do like remotely out just out of my way, so that I cared. Yeah. Like her mom, like Cassandra's mom will like heart it and fucking say shit like on fucking on like Facebook. Facebook, yeah. On like Facebook, she'll do nice shit. But then fucking you'll hear Cassandra come back and she'll actually talk to her mom.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And her mom will like be like like almost hating on it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like I don't know.
SPEAKER_02But deep down, she'd probably like why don't man do that for me.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's that that's exactly what it is. Yeah, the way she'll fucking word it.
SPEAKER_02She could watch, yeah. Like have it, have it. So she what she'd watch it anytime she wants to. But the way she but the way she would word it, you know, so if you want it, I got you, I'll get you on my Amazon the way she would word it to her, though, she would say just I don't understand.
SPEAKER_01She was like, you know, I I I like Sean this time around and everything. She was like, but I don't understand, like, like what what even possessed him to like do some of the stuff he does for you? And it's like, how about because I give a shit? Yeah, like how about showing that I love you or I care without say using the words, dude. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like there's ways to show that I care, and like this is one of my ways, like some you know, that's their fault. That's why I'm that's the why that my gifts are awesome because they say words that I don't know how to say, yeah. Because in this family, you could do it in action, yeah, right. You're not about to say it.
SPEAKER_01Not to be an asshole. Like, you want to talk about a fucking child being fucking stunned at a statement, dude? Yeah, like you ever seen them videos of too shocked to speak? Yeah, yes, yeah. This was Quinn. Me and him were going back and forth, bro, and because he fucking pissed me off one day. And I go, You got it by the fucking balls, bitch. I go, you fucking walk around here like you get beat with two by fours, yeah, fucking belts and straps and fucking wet towels and shit. I go, you fucking act some type of way. I said, you want to know what, dude? I go, us kids growing up, we didn't just get hit, dude. No, it was verbal. We we got verbally abused and then dismantled that way, and then on on top of on top of that, I couldn't tell you fucking how many times in my life that either one of my parents ever said I love you. Yeah, ever. Ever, never ever.
SPEAKER_02Then you hear it.
SPEAKER_01But that doesn't count, dude. No, it doesn't. I hate saying that, but it don't count. That's why I said I can't count them. No, because Poppy was the guilt hitter, dude. Yeah, he'd beat the fuck out of you, and he'd feel bad an hour or two later, yeah. Come in your room and be like, you know, I love you, buddy. I really I didn't mean to lose my temper. I'm sorry. That that don't count to me, dude. I'm talking about how about you love me because I'm an honor roll? How about you love me because I did my chores and I was a good kid this week? How about fucking show a little affection and motherfuckers walking around? I don't give a fuck 48 going to 48 or not. Anyone who wants to tell me, and I'll fucking swear to god, I'll fucking crack a motherfucker right in the fucking face because I know I ain't wrong on this one. I don't care what your age is, dude. If you're raised cold, yeah, and you're fucking shot, if you're raised to not show emotions and not cry, and not and and and and not see your father romance your mother, yeah and only see your father break shit and get drunk and shit. Like when when so as a fucking at least for a man, because I only speak for a man, yeah, yeah. You have to map it back. We have nothing, we have nothing to base anything off of. No, like, so like that's why things are out left field Joshua.
SPEAKER_02I could tell really thoughtful fucking things, man.
SPEAKER_01I would tell anyone right to their fucking face right now, and I don't give a fuck who would be in front of me, Cassandra could be standing here right now. Don't care if that would hurt her feelings when I make this statement. I have no fucking idea in the world what it's like for someone to actually love me. No clue. I have no idea. I I I I I have a general idea, yeah. Because that's what I think it is.
SPEAKER_03Right, yeah, yeah. But my based on what you think.
SPEAKER_01My thought of someone loving me is someone punching me in the face and saying they love me, they're sorry.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I don't have I don't have I don't have the standard dude.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01There is no I didn't I I didn't I didn't I didn't have the fucking loving home to be like that's what I want my home to be like when I'm older. Right, right. I didn't have the fucking lovey dovey fucking Eskimo kiss his mom and dad.
SPEAKER_02That wasn't me neither.
SPEAKER_01I didn't have any of that shit. I didn't I had I had domestic violence and alcoholism and fucking police. Yeah, is what I had.
SPEAKER_02So you want to of course you want to be the opposite, right? So why is my room picked on though?
SPEAKER_01Because she got beating. No, no, no, sorry.
SPEAKER_02You got beat, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't have good things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, but it is, it's probably because from their fucking perspective, it's one of those like damn, nobody's fucking doing either. It's fucking she probably gonna think it's stupid. That's what it is, dude.
SPEAKER_02That's fucked up, dude. Appling I tried to explain it to her and the thing in our family is horrible.
SPEAKER_01Because they don't want to. No, I think one of the worst things of our family and our family, dude, it's honestly fucking horrible, bro. Nobody supports each other. Nobody supports others, nobody get nobody gets encouraged, nobody's happy if they find out find the love of their lives or or finally land the job they want and they're making good money now, or they bought a car, they bought a home, and everything is negative. Yeah, everyone's like, I'm glad you bought a home. Hope you're like, oh my fucking bills that ration up. Just so you know what do you what are you gonna do if you happen to like lose your job and you get laid off and the pay or mortgage, they're gonna take it. It's like dude, holy fucking you can't even dude, you dude. I'm dead serious, bro. I can come out right now, and I don't have the money for it. I'm I'm being dead serious, bro. That's dead truth, okay? I can keep the car I have now, right? Yeah, and say I have a decent amount of money in the bank and very, very, very good credit, which neither is true. Okay, and I went out of my way, dude. And I'm like, you want to know what? I want a 2027 Corvette, and I'm fucking buying one. Fuck that. It's gonna be your traditional fucking sexy ass red, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I can fucking know I just had the expendable cash to do it. I'm not saying I'm poor, but my debt to do it. I'm saying we're flipping the circumstance. You have the money and the credit to do it, you're on a decent finance, interest rate's low, and I fucking grabbed that fucking Corvette off the fucking lot with dealer plate so they got it on the road, and I drove it over to fuck Graham's house, and I text her, hey, I want to show you something, come outside. Okay, she come out, she dude, she'd be nice at first. Yeah, oh, that's so pretty and so nice, and blah blah blah blah. She's like, Well, where's mine? She's gonna say no, she's gonna say that, and then she's gonna go, I don't want to hear you bitch and complain when you say you don't have any money. Yep, yep. When you're broke, I don't want to hear a word. It ain't it ain't I like it. I might need some gas.
SPEAKER_02You know, you know, you know, I needed the drill purchase system.
SPEAKER_01But what I'm saying is that it wouldn't be, you know, holy shit, bro. My son's got a really good job. Yeah, and he fixed it. He fixed his fucking life because he was shit forever and fucking he's growing, and there's a process here. Maybe you really won't be a piece of shit forever. It's not any of that. It's let me see if we can take his high and knock it down to shit again and make him bring the car back because that's what you're doing. Yeah, and and and and motherfuckers wonder, and I hate saying it, and motherfuckers wondered throughout my life why most of my relationships have failed miserably because I don't know how to keep one dude. I don't know how to do it. You know what I know? You know, if I if I had to go from the template that I was raised with, yeah, slap a bitch around, spit on her, turn her into an alcoholic, okay? Give her a pill problem, beat her fucking kid, beat her fucking kids in front of her, okay? Put her down on the phone. And then put her down, don't let her drive, okay? Make sure she only can work a bent. You can only work a part-time job, bitch, and you better get be home on time, and dinner, better, dinner better, dinner better be on the table at 4 30. If that that's the template I got, you that is my template. That's no, hold on. That is my template, dude, to keep a woman for 50 years because that's how long they stay together, and that's what I've seen for at least 60 to 70 percent of my life. I've seen a lady get treated like fucking shit, and she stayed. Yeah, so me, so it's like when I'm nice, dude, and I get treated like shit, I do have the urge to want to punch a bitch in the face, dude. Yeah, why would I fucking get pissed? Yeah, because I know that fucking I'm trying to be nice, and my relationship should be fucking easygoing and fun. You're right, it's there's sexual activity, there shouldn't be arguing all the time, there shouldn't be all this other bullshit. But no, it's I don't even get a fucking get anything for fucking the effort. I get what's the point of this my girlfriend. What's what's what's the point? What's the what's the point of you? What's the point of you fucking doing that when I'm just gonna have to do it again because you're a fucking retard and you fucking did it wrong anyways. Yeah, who the fuck wants to deal with that shit? Not me. I'm done with it, dude. Nah, I told you straight up, call me retard one more time.
SPEAKER_02Nah, yo, it does have a limit. One more retard, dude. Remember I remember that little game's trigger was stupid or idiot or you don't know how to do that or something. That motherfucker, he took it dead serious, yo. I know because because of how he was raised, yeah, like calling someone dumb. It was like a death sentence, bro. Yeah, like they didn't play about that dumb shit back then. They were fucking dead ass serious, bro. Dumb, stupid, or anything. What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01Like I said, and take it off limits, bro. I would take it for I took it for the longest time, bro. Yeah, and just like I don't know what it was, dude. Like on the third, bro, it was said, and I completely fucking lost my temper, bro. Yeah, like I'll put it to you this way. It was so bad.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but like also, it's like she's trying to get that point across to you badity, bro. She keeps saying it. She keeps saying it. Not not variations of it. She keeps saying it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I just literally got to the point, dude. I fucked turned out and lost my fucking temper, bro. Like to the point to where Quinn, I hate to say to see some of it, dude, but like she got in my face, dude. Like, it was to the point to where it was hit her, hit myself, dude. Because if she got any closer, bro, she was gonna get hit by it.
SPEAKER_00Yo, daddy was doing this, he was like, What the fuck?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, dude, I was gonna hit her because it was me. It was literally me or her, bro. I'm not lying. It got you had to get the point across. It's got her. And you want to know what? She went straight to the fucking room after that shit. Right. Yeah. Shut that shit down. And not to be an asshole.
SPEAKER_02Like, if he's doing this to me, he's trying to tell me.
SPEAKER_01I'm not trying to order. Like I said, I'm not trying to toot my own horns. You were here. Yeah. Okay. When she called. Yeah. And she was sweet as pie. Completely different, right? Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01And I said it to her in the fucking car yesterday. I should not have to act that way to fucking achieve it. And respect my own fucking house. At all. At fucking all.
SPEAKER_03For real.
SPEAKER_01You need to make sure you're ready because we're about to leave.
SPEAKER_02Oh so are y'all staying out gone a minute? Because I have a gift for you, but I'm a fucking retard and I did forget it at home. Well, so I can I can bring it out later or something.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, bring it later because we're only come up for an hour. Alright, uh peace out.
