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Remix your Marriage Podcast
Sharing our dysfunctional story of relationship, young parenthood and a broken marriage that all started in 1989, to a new incredible marriage. In hopes to help other couples not make the same mistakes.
We will have open and honest conversations about our ups and downs, our bad decisions and how we learned to get through all the Messiness! Marriage is tough but it is also amazing if you do it right!
Hang in there and give us a chance to Remix Your Marriage!
Remix your Marriage Podcast
EP12 - How to Fight the right way: Words can do long lasting damage. What we do, what we avoid, oh, and make up Sex!
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an argument, wondering if there's a better way to communicate? Tune into this episode of Remix Your Marriage, where we share our personal journey. This episode promises to provide you with tools to handle disagreements more effectively, focusing on communication, forgiveness, and growth as the cornerstones of a stronger, healthier marriage. Our journey from a challenging time to a place of deeper understanding and love offers hope and practical advice for any couple facing similar trials.
Words can build bridges or burn them down, and understanding their power is crucial in any relationship.
Lastly, we tackle the often-overlooked nuances of effective communication in relationships. We'll explore why using absolutes like "always" and "never" can escalate conflicts and how shifting the focus from blame to personal feelings can make a world of difference. Through our own stories, we illustrate the importance of choosing battles wisely and appreciating the small acts of love that strengthen our bond. Join us as we unpack these essential communication strategies, aiming to help you and your partner understand each other's needs and intentions better.
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Remixyourmarriage@gmail.com
I would throw the french fry in his face, I would cry and I would leave. Well, maybe not that much, but I'd be very upset.
Speaker 2:You know what? That's a good segue for today's show Talking about how to argue.
Speaker 1:See.
Speaker 2:See what.
Speaker 1:This is good, but I want it to be more at ease.
Speaker 2:I'm very at ease.
Speaker 1:Let's start over.
Speaker 2:Start over from the very beginning.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, just, and this is a good segue.
Speaker 2:Start from there.
Speaker 1:Don't do that.
Speaker 2:Okay, mom.
Speaker 1:Just say and this is what we're getting at.
Speaker 2:Okay, welcome to Remix your Marriage. I am Lyndon. I am Vanessa, my beautiful wife, and today we are talking about my beautiful husband, thank you. How to argue the importance of arguing and getting through it, and all that fun stuff.
Speaker 1:Yes, and the making up.
Speaker 2:And the making up part.
Speaker 1:I want to. I'm sorry, I'm very distracted today. Is it the spider web? It's my ADD issue. I have so much some days. It's bad. Some days I could focus. I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing differently on the days that I could focus better. Anyways, today is not one of those days. I have to say something and this is going to kind of do with what we're talking about, but I really this is crazy, that this happened today.
Speaker 2:What is that that you have?
Speaker 1:Love, just let me explain, Okay. Okay, so me and you are having coffee right, we're working a lot on this podcast.
Speaker 2:This is good.
Speaker 1:It is good. Okay, this morning, me and you're having coffee watching the news. It is nice.
Speaker 1:I love those moments because we have such busy jobs and it's like our moment that we get together, right, okay, and I cause I have a problem. Just, I got a text from work and didn't look at where I was putting my coffee down, so I went to go. I what? I thought I was putting it down on the coffee table and instead completely dumped it in this little basket that I have with blankets and like massager massagers. That sounds bad. They're like literally back massagers, yeah, shoulder Cause we're always hurting. Anyways, it's in the living room and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe I did this.
Speaker 2:Oh, wait, wait, because coffee is, you know, like blackish, right yeah, what color is the carpet?
Speaker 1:White, oh you don't Beige, I would say no, we don't say beige anymore, we say neutral.
Speaker 2:So she dropped black coffee on our nice white rug.
Speaker 1:It was not black coffee, it was my color coffee.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's how I like it.
Speaker 1:So anyways. So then I'm cleaning it up. I'm just frustrated because I have a busy day. I'm like I spilled all this coffee anywhere, so we dumped everything out that was in the basket. I promise I'm getting to my point. And then right now we're getting ready to do this podcast and you know it takes. It takes a lot for me, I don't know, but I'm not going to speak for you, but I have to like prep myself. We didn't pray. We usually pray right before the podcast, but I just have to prep myself. I'm like, okay, let me get ready. What am I going to talk about? What am I going to say? Just remember, that was then.
Speaker 1:This is now like I do all this stuff and I'm trying to clean up and I look and what fell out of that basket, which is so weird, was a journal that I used to journal and write in, which I don't anymore. And I just started looking through it because I was thinking, oh, I already know what's in there. That's a bunch of stuff. When, before everything happened, I always like there's something about our lives that I always let go. Ok, that's before the fair and this is after the fair, because I'm such a different person and we have such a better marriage. And so I'm like, oh, that's before, I don't want to read that. And then I'm like let me just open it and it says April 29th 2008. And everything happened in March, the beginning of March and to February 2008.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:And then a couple of the things that I read that I just want to share. So I would write a verse, and then I would write a prayer, and then I would apply that verse. It was what our pastor, pastor Gary, taught us how to do your devotions. It was called PB&J or something like that.
Speaker 1:No, it was called soul. It was called soul, spiritual observation, understanding, application. Was the scripture sorry, so you. The scripture is s the o is observation which you observed about that verse. The? U was how you understood that verse and the? A is or no sorry? L was life applying, life application how?
Speaker 2:would you apply?
Speaker 1:it to your life. Yeah, there.
Speaker 2:There is a PB&J one, though. There is a prayer or something. No, I don't know what that is Anyways.
Speaker 1:So this is April 24th 2008. And I wrote Romans 8, 38 through 39. And it's crazy because this is only about, I don't know, 30 days, maybe less than 30 days, from when everything happened. Lord, I guess I'm learning the privilege of suffering, which sounds crazy. However, understanding the pain of betrayal I never thought I would I can have sympathy now for those who have suffered this way. I have nothing and no one that I can depend on, only you. I understand now what it is completely to lean on you and your understanding and for you to make my path straight. And then what's interesting is there's a page ripped, so I don't know what I wrote in that page at all. And then we go to April 29th 2008.
Speaker 1:And then I had to write down things that were lost, things that I grieve for my marriage that were lost, things that I grieve for my marriage. And, number one, I put trust to the way I look at my husband. Three, two and a half years lost for self-assurance. Five, pride in my marriage. Six, holiness in my marriage. And seven, my confidence. And then I wrote 2 Corinthians, where the spirit of God, there is freedom For God, who said let light shine out of darkness, made his light shine in over our hearts to give us the light of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. And then I just wrote. I wrote a couple more verses and I put God, you are so good, you are always with me, I love you always. And then I'm getting to my point. And then I'm getting to my point.
Speaker 1:May 21st, I put Lyndon has a job, not what we planned, and that's why I am excited and hopefully, because it is not our plan, it's God's plan. Finally, we're putting our whole life and our faith in him. And then 2 Corinthians 10, 17,. Let him who boasts boasts in the Lord. I just I'm blown away by this because this is probably and I'm reading it because I don't think at one time I could have read anything like this without bawling and crying. But what I admire about this, vanessa, in 2008, is my faith. My faith grew so much, I fell so in love with Jesus, and there's a couple of times where I write I'm so grateful for what I went through, I'm so grateful to know you better, I'm so grateful.
Speaker 2:I've never heard that. I've never. I've seen the book around, but I know better to look in your journals, part of it selfishly, because I don't want to see bad stuff about me or be reminded, but the other part, of course, is your privacy. So and today we're talking about ways to argue, so there is an art to arguing, and it is an art especially back then, in episode 15, we are going to go over something else that happened, a discovery.
Speaker 1:We have a little teaser.
Speaker 2:Yes, Episode 15. If it's already up because you're late, don't jump ahead, just wait, yeah, but anyway, oh, anyhow, that story caused us so much pain and arguing and it was because it was kind of piggybacked on what had happened. At that point It'd been like five years, so we will get into that in episode 15.
Speaker 1:I think it was seven years. Yeah, okay, yeah, it was about seven years and that was constant arguing.
Speaker 2:So what we learned? A lot about how to argue. I've never been a yeller.
Speaker 1:I am.
Speaker 2:But you are. So one thing you have to remember is when you're having a conversation or disagreement with your spouse, just there can't be yelling. If you're that upset that you're yelling, you need to take a beat, walk away, gather yourself and then come back and talk to each other like humans.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that this goes back to if you've listened. If you're a first time listener, please go back. We always say that Go back to the other episodes. It's important to see how me and Lennon were raised so differently. He was raised in a very quiet house, but he was also alone a lot and that's why it was so quiet. Yeah, Me, I grew up with parents who screamed and fought each other every single day, every single day, and so what my definition of communication was was yelling.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I think that it started really well. I don't think it started very early. When we first started dating in high school, I was always yelling at you, I was pushing you, I was dramatic.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Luckily I'm not so dramatic anymore.
Speaker 2:Just on a different level, just on a different level.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on a different level. So, yeah, there was no reason for yelling. That is something that I had to make the decision to do, because that wasn't hard for you to do, but when we were rebuilding our marriage, I needed to learn a better way of communicating.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, of course, no name calling. I don't think that you and I have, I mean like since I mean I don't think I've ever called you a name.
Speaker 1:I don't think that's ever happened. Now that I really think about I don't. Do you remember if I've called you names?
Speaker 2:I mean, you've insulted me by calling me like a lady killer, that I could be a JC model.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh dad jokes, Okay, no, but in all honesty have I?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I don't think so. I don't think. I think it's something that we decided really early on that we weren't going to do.
Speaker 2:And we've, you know, I'm sure, just like just like other people, we've witnessed people be, you know, arguments, people being called names and those things just can't be taken back. So just don't call each other names. I was going to say more but just don't call each other names.
Speaker 1:I think there's more to that, though. Why, why, okay, I'm asking you right now why have me and you not called each other names? We've done so much in our relationships to each other. Where did that come from?
Speaker 2:I think maybe we or yelled at each other. Have I yelled at?
Speaker 1:you, oh yeah, oh, I have yelled at you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just I don't know, 20 minutes ago, before we started this-.
Speaker 1:It's not yelling. I know I was annoyed and raising your voice.
Speaker 2:I think the whole name calling goes to knowing that I can't take it back If I call, if I'm angry and I call you something. I know that we have a future, so I know at some point that that whatever I called you is going to come back and in the future and really hurt you and we're going to talk about it and I'm not going to mean it, like if I, if I'm saying something out of anger, I don't mean it, but it's too late once it comes out. So it's really important to bite your tongue and not call each other's names, because in that moment you're feeling something, but that's not really. Hopefully, that's not really who you are.
Speaker 1:And what is the reason that cause this is hard, for I think this name calling is hard. It's easy for us to tell people not to name call because this isn't something me and you struggle with. In all honesty, I don't even as mad and as angry as I've been with you at the worst, at the, I think, of that night when everything came out. I don't think I even still called you name. I don't think it was in me and I, I believe, from from my point it's when I saw, I heard the names. My dad called my mom and my mom called my dad and I saw what it did to my mom. I saw how much it affected her, I saw how much it hurt. So maybe that's why I never did it, because to me words are so much more powerful and I mean.
Speaker 1:And also this is the person you love.
Speaker 2:Never by you or anyone in my family, but in school, you know, in elementary school, in junior high school, you know I've had teachers tell me I was stupid or, you know, don't think you're ever going to go to college, you're not smart enough, and things like that. And that stuck with me for a long time. And the fact that I still remember what my teacher looked like in seventh grade who told me that I would never get a good job and that I'd only maybe be able to work at a fast food restaurant, and that I just wasn't smart, that sticks with you. So imagine that's someone that I don't love.
Speaker 1:So imagine how painful that is coming from someone. So I'm having an epiphany right now. I think that's why me and you didn't do that. It wasn't that, it was something we like. We had to really hold back and we had to like count to 10 and not. I think that both me and you that is something we can both relate with we were name called a lot and I remember I think I've told you the story I remember one time I was you already guys know I had like boy crazy issues, but I think I was like 13 years old and I just had the biggest crush on on this boy in like the seventh grade and I wanted my friend to go tell him that or find out. You know, find out if he likes me, but if he likes me, don't tell him that I like him, just blah, blah, blah. And I remember he said well, she's not pretty, but she's not ugly.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I'm like I'm not pretty, so I'm not pretty, okay, I'm not pretty, I just, and it never left me. That's, that's the seventh grade and it never left. I've been called a lot worse things. People have made. Boys have made fun of the color of my skin, the hair on my arms, my nose. It was awful. So I think that's why, yeah, on my arms, my nose, it was awful. So I think that's why, yeah, me, and you didn't bring that into our relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt, I'm telling you, bones heal, but words they can last forever. So just think about this is the person you love and it's just not worth it to call each other names.
Speaker 1:Yeah, now, as far as the yelling, that was something I did have to control and I do still, and when my son was a teenager, I think I struggled with that the most, was yelling at him, and I still regret so many arguments that we've had where I have yelled at him because it's like I think yelling is so selfish, it's just because I am so mad and I am so frustrated and I need to get it out. In this way, I never feel good after it, I always feel horrible. I know that there's a better way I can communicate, because I know once I start yelling, you shut down, my son shuts down, and so what I've learned to do is to take a breath, to take a real breath, to walk around. I leave now a lot, don't I?
Speaker 2:Yes, and that's part of what we're getting to. Yeah, is that? But the other thing that we were guilty of, both of us, we would say you always or you never. And through therapy, those are things that we learned that you shouldn't say Like I. I shouldn't say, well, you never want to have sex, or you're, you're always in a bad mood and because that's not true, you're not always and you're not never. So when you say that you're putting you're putting your like, I'm putting you into a bubble, like this is who you are You're the unhappy, never want to have sex person, and that's just who you are and that's not the truth. So we learned the importance of not saying those things.
Speaker 1:Although it does still still slip out every now and then. I'm still like you, always drive crazy to like you always drive crazy and you never stop. No, but it is true it was. That was a hard thing to learn, and then we would have to put each other in check when we would. That was difficult as well, because-.
Speaker 2:You can say hard, I'm not gonna say anything. Her mouth said huh, and then she changed it to difficult Go ahead Anyways. Her mouth said huh, and then she changed it to difficult.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. Anyways, that was difficult as well, because I don't like when he puts me in check. Um, that's how I felt. I shouldn't say you're putting me in check, you are, what is it? You're? You're correcting me, with love. I don't know how else to put it.
Speaker 2:Maybe bringing up what we learned.
Speaker 1:Yes, bringing up, we look that's great, yeah, and and then I would say, okay, you don't always, but when you did this it made me feel this way. We still use it, I use that with my kids, I use that with people. When you did this, it made me feel this way. And why do you think that's so powerful when we way, and why do you think that's so powerful when we start, when me and you started doing that?
Speaker 2:The always and never.
Speaker 1:No, I just said.
Speaker 2:Oh, the-.
Speaker 1:He's kidding. Okay, can I tell you something?
Speaker 2:What.
Speaker 1:This is what we argue about the most right now.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 1:I when I have to repeat myself. It makes me feel like you are not listening to me and what I'm saying is not important.
Speaker 2:Okay so. So you said a couple of things, Okay, so I wasn't sure if you were referring to the you make me feel or if you're referring to the always and never. So I want it to be clear. That's why I asked. It wasn't because I wasn't listening.
Speaker 1:Okay, I had just said, when you do this, it makes me feel this way. Why do you think that worked so well with me and you when we'd argue?
Speaker 2:Because you are no longer saying that I'm making you feel a certain way, because I can't make you feel a certain way. So what you're saying is when I do a certain thing, this is how you feel, almost like. This is how you're interpreting what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:Let's give an example.
Speaker 2:When I ask you a question, that can be a simple yes or a simple no, you'll say well, hon, I just told you that yesterday, that we are ABC, and then I'm like so the answer is yes. So when you say I just told you, that makes me feel like you think that I'm I don't want to say dumb, but dumb Because you're like basically reprimanding me, because you just told me yesterday and I don't remember when, it would be a much quicker answer just to say yes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then let's go. This goes on to the next thing, and you're absolutely right, it's choosing my battles and that was huge for me. There's a lot of times where I'm thinking is this worth the fight? One of the things that I think that me and Lennon argue about, or I get frustrated with Lennon, is I feel like he's not listening to me. We're going to go back to that. Maybe me and you are just going to work this out and everybody will just listen. Anyways, one of those. So a lot of times when I start to get angry with you and I start to get mad, I'm like he does so much for me. One of my most favorite things that you do for me is you always make sure there's coffee in the morning.
Speaker 2:So it's okay to say always when it's a good thing, yes you do.
Speaker 1:You always make coffee in the morning, you always make sure the house is secure. There's so many great things you do. We took my mom to the beach the other day and she hasn't her health hasn't been so great and she loves the beach. Lyndon grilled chicken sausages. He made sure there were snacks, he set up the just all of these things. He does that just, oh, such my love language. Because I'm an acts of service and automatically, when I start thinking of and I start thinking of his intention and how much he loves me, I'm like, okay, is it really that bad that I have to repeat myself for the hundredth time? Just kidding, I'm just kidding. And then, all of a sudden, I start to calm down and I think that's why it's important for me personally to walk away for a minute, to take a breath and to go. Am I really getting mad at Lyndon or am I frustrated with my day today? Am I frustrated with certain things in my life? You know, so it takes, I think, when I walk away, those are the things I think about.
Speaker 2:I am listening, but you know when, when you tell a story, compared to how I tell a story, sometimes it's kind of a long story. So, no, no, she's giving me a look, listen. So sometimes I'm thinking you just said something and I have to remember to go back to that when you're done, and then I'll miss a little section and then you'll be going on. So when you're done with what you're telling me now I'm thinking, oh, that first thing that she said I need to respond to that, and then I might ask you a, that first thing that she said I need to respond to that, and then I might ask you a question that you answered sometime in this conversation. And then that's when you get upset with me. But that's what happens.
Speaker 1:You know what my therapist told me to do. She said that if there's something that I really want you to remember if it's an appointment, if it's a date, if it's something like you want him to remember that you have to work at this time so he doesn't ask you tomorrow or whatever she goes make sure he's looking at you in the eyes. You're telling him he's not distracted. You're not distracted, you're not just telling him I'm passing, because he has a ton of things going on in his mind as well in his life, and so if it's something you really want him to remember, just make sure he's completely focused on you. At the time, I thought that was good advice. I haven't done that yet, though.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:But when I do it I will report back and see how it goes.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I have learned that if I am telling you sorry or I start talking to you the second you pick up your phone, I need to stop talking, because I know that you're no longer listening and I think you know you talk about ADD and things like that, and I think maybe that's part of it that you don't think to tell me oh, hold on a second.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you do, Sometimes you don't. You don't say hold on a second. So I've learned that I have to like right now. So you're like I'm talking to you and then you just looked at your watch because you have a text. So if I was to continue talking you wouldn't know what I was saying. So it's very important for me to understand that you're not doing that on purpose. I just have to stop and let you read, because usually it's work stuff. I understand you get a lot of texts from work, so I have to stop and wait a second and then wait for you to come back to me and finish the conversation. If you truly know your husband or your wife's intention, lean on that, Because every now and then I'm going to say something to you that I wish I didn't say, Because we're humans, we're going to make mistakes and we're going to go. So we're talking about these lessons we've learned, but it doesn't mean that we walk in that lesson perfectly. We still step outside the line sometimes. So we always have to default back to the intention.
Speaker 1:And it's interesting what we argue about now versus what we argued about when our marriage was pretty toxic and we didn't know how to communicate. There was and I think I'm getting kind of over this now Lyndon used to get, I think, our biggest biggest fights no, I think I hate when I say think Our biggest fights were about sex and not having enough and Lyndon feeling very unwanted and not loved by me, by me and I just would get so insecure and so frustrated about it that I would just think you know we did it one time last month or whatever, if even that and and then I would try to talk to him and he would come when I say shut down, I would call him and he wouldn't answer his phone and it would be he would have 12 hour work days and he would not answer his phone. He wouldn't answer his phone and it would be he would have 12 hour work days and he would not answer his phone.
Speaker 2:And I got to say that was. That was a time when there was a lot I wanted to say and none of it was good. So back then I understood like if we talk right now, this conversation is going to cause years of issues.
Speaker 1:So but you also didn't tell me that.
Speaker 2:True.
Speaker 1:You would just see. For me it was out of the blue. I would wake up in the morning, I'd call you, like normal at work, and all of a sudden you're not answering the phone and you're not answering my messages and you're not answering my text messages. I'm like what is going on? Because in my brain I'm like why is he so mad? Because I didn't understand the importance of sex and marriage. I didn't understand what it meant to him. I didn't. I had no understanding of it back then. That doesn't make it an excuse. There's no excuse for that.
Speaker 2:And for me it would be say it had been four or five weeks and the past few nights I can't sleep because I'm so angry. So it would come to a boiling point where I'm up all night just mad because you're just right there sleeping, and then I would just get off and go to work and A blimmy, a blimmy.
Speaker 2:Yes, it wouldn't be anger from that day, it would be anger from four or five weeks of me holding it in and not talking about, not saying anything to you, and then finally I'm like, I'm just, I've had it, so yeah, but we've come.
Speaker 1:But we've come, but it's just very because I wanted to go. I wanted I want others to understand that this, our fights weren't just about, you know, not hearing each other, not listening to each other. We had major, big fights and and we were horrible communicators, the both of us. And where it is now, it doesn't mean we don't argue, we don't get irritated with each other, we just know how to do it. And I'm telling you it's so powerful.
Speaker 2:We're really good now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And for me, you've always been good at this, you've always been able to have a little argument and then snap out of it and go back to normal. And for me, I've had to learn because I hold that. So even though, like we've made up, oh, it was a misunderstanding, I thought you meant this and dah, dah dah. But it's like my, my brain doesn't know that. Everything's okay. So my heart is still racing and I'm still mad, and I know I should.
Speaker 1:It was a misunderstanding, I shouldn't be mad anymore, but it's funny, lennon still thinks he's an introvert and the kids laugh at him because this man talks to everyone now and is so kind and it's not that you weren't kind before, but you just didn't talk to people. But it's just so beautiful because it changed. It didn't only change our marriage and make our marriage better, as, fighting through it, it changed us in our everyday life and our character and who we are. It just made us better.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can I also say something?
Speaker 2:What's up, the importance of arguing because the makeup sex is through the roof. It is pretty amazing. Yeah, I'm pretty gonna pick a fight with you in about five minutes.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying you have to have that, you have to have a little, you know yeah, it's a little spicy it's spicy, there you go.
Speaker 2:I love that word, spicy and I love spending time with you, I love hanging out with you. I can truly say that you are my best friend and that is a blessing, because I couldn't say that before and knowing that we have the same days off, or we're going to do this on Saturday and we're going here on Sunday, like I look so forward to just hanging out with you as a friend, not just as my wife, and that's that's a big you know, a lot of people can't say that and hopefully, through learning and understanding that the couples that aren't there will get there because it is possible If you guys are both in it and you're both like, we're going to do this.
Speaker 2:You know, no matter what it takes, we're going to do this, it's going to happen. You know, remember my lemon tree? It didn't grow. There was there, wasn't, there was no results. But now I have a lemon. So just remember, the lemon tree is so special now. Learning these techniques work, and the first couple of times you try them with the argument you're probably going to feel foolish, but you will get better and better and better, and then it'll be smooth.
Speaker 1:Also, just to add on, make sure that your kids see you, not just because we went through the whole yelling and all of that. Obviously we don't want you to yell in front of your kids, but it's really important In our opinion, in our opinion no. I think this is more than an opinion. I think this is a fact.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:That your kids not only see you argue, but they see you reconcile and they see how you did it, and the reason I know this is a fact is because Bella has told us that that has really helped her.
Speaker 2:Who's Bella that's?
Speaker 1:helped our daughter, Okay, that has helped her understand a lot about marriage and a lot about communicating with each other and that and then. But the reconciliation is so important too, You're right. You're right, you know. I think that is so vital. I think it's very dangerous to for your kids never, ever, to see you argue or have a disagreement.
Speaker 2:We did hear from someone that they never, ever saw their parents fight. So when they got married and they got in a fight, they're like, oh well, I guess this means we're getting divorced. Yeah, Because they never saw their parents fight. So it is important for your kids I don't parents fight, so it is important for your kids.
Speaker 1:I don't like fight, fight's not the right word.
Speaker 2:Argue, have a disagreement, yeah. Disagreement, yeah, yeah. As we're wrapping up, thank you guys. So much for all of your support. Please go on our Instagram, facebook, remix your Marriage pod, follow us. Leave comments.
Speaker 1:Leave topics that you want us to talk about and really give us. I mean your brutal honesty on something that maybe you can people do anonymous things.
Speaker 2:We can pretend like email.
Speaker 1:they could email us anonymously, no.
Speaker 2:Well, if their email doesn't have their name?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I'm trying to think. Well, I just want. I want to make sure that we are, we are sharing on topics that couples are struggling with, and I want to make sure. So if there's anything you you are struggling with that we haven't covered, or maybe there is something that we've covered but you want us to go a little bit more in detail with it, please DM us whatever. Yes, podcasts are. Podcasts are Instagram.
Speaker 2:And remember episode 15, another big one. Love, you guys, love.
Speaker 1:Instagram and remember episode 15, another big one. Love you guys. Love you and Love hard. That's going to be our thing. I don't know if I like it.
Speaker 2:It's always been our thing.
Speaker 1:I feel like I should do something with remixing, or do we need to have something Well? Armchair has Welcome, welcome, welcome. Bye, bye, bye. Have something well. Armchair has welcome, welcome, welcome.