Episode 37: Reclaim your Time, Reclaim your Joy with Dr. Mary Leung

In this inspiring episode, I sit down with Dr. Mary Leung, a board-certified physician and a certified life coach who is passionate about helping stressed and overwhelmed physicians reclaim their joy and time.

Dr. Leung shares her personal journey from burnout to balance, including how the pandemic opened her eyes to a more sustainable way of working. We explore actionable strategies to boost efficiency, let go of perfectionism, delegate effectively, and set powerful intentions for both work and home life.

She reminds us that joy isn't a luxury—it's a daily necessity. Whether you're a physician, a parent, or a high-achieving professional, this conversation offers valuable insights on leading with purpose, managing your energy, and creating space for what matters most.

About our guest: 

Dr. Mary Leung is a physician who is board-certified in internal medicine, medical oncology and hematology. She is also a certified life coach who is passionate about serving physicians who are stressed, overwhelmed and burned out. She is the co-author of the book “Made For More 2”, which was a bestseller on Amazon.
Dr. Mary was working and charting after hours many nights and weekends until life coaching transformed her life. She is now going home at least 2.5 hours earlier than before, with all her clinical work completed for the day. From the depths of her own experience, Dr. Mary is founder of Shining With Gratitude MD. Her passion and mission is to guide other physicians through their unique situations — so they can feel better, have more time outside of their work, regain control, and have more clarity in their lives. Her hope is for physicians to rediscover joy in life and in medicine. Dr. Mary believes that if physicians can enjoy practicing medicine again, they can take better care of their patients. Through renewal, they can shine brighter for their families and all the lives they touch.

Website: shiningwithgratitudemd.com

Email: shiningwithgratitudemd@gmail.com

Facebook: Mary Leung

LinkedIn: Mary Leung, MD

Dr. Tanikella practices General Pediatrics, Integrative Medicine, and is an expert in Mind-Body medicine. She has traveled the world to learn more about the intersection where mind, body, health, personal beliefs, and motivation meet. She is founder and CEO of Integrative Approaches to Mastering Wellness, where she brings the wisdom of mind body medicine and the power of life coaching together to help her clients break through their glass ceilings.

Learn more at iamwellmd.com.
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Disclaimer: The information shared on the I AM Well MD Podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. All health-related decisions should be made in consultation with your personal medical provider.

The views expressed by me are my own and do not reflect those of my guests, employers, or affiliated institutions. The views of any guest do not represent my personal or professional opinions. The content shared on this podcast is intended to inspire thoughtful reflection, not to provide medical diagnosis or treatment.

Transcript

 Are you a busy parent? Do you feel like you're being pulled in multiple directions all at once? Are you exhausted and overwhelmed? Meet my mom. Her name is Santi Tanikella. She's a pediatrician, expert in mind body medicine, and a life coach. She can help you break free from guilt and overwhelm, so that you can enjoy the life that you've worked so hard to create.

She can also teach you how to support your family in a more holistic way.   

Welcome to another episode of, the I Am Well MD podcast. Today I have a special guest, Dr. Mary Leung. She's a physician who is board certified in internal medicine, medical oncology, and hematology.

She's also a certified life coach who's passionate about serving physicians who are stressed, overwhelmed, and burned out. She's the co-author of the book Made For More Two, which was a bestseller on Amazon. Dr. Mary is founder of Shining With Gratitude, md. Her passion and mission is to guide other physicians through their unique situations so that they can feel better, have more time outside of their work, regain control, and have more clarity in their lives.

Welcome to the show, Dr. Leung 

thank you so much for the kind introduction, and thank you for having me. 

I'm so happy to have you because I think it's really important , to be able to reclaim joy in our lives. That's something that I feel that a lot of. Mid-career parents are seeking. So I understand that you have some tips for us on how to create time through efficiency, both at work and in the home.

Mm-hmm. Tell me a little bit more about that. 

Yeah. So, , I think this all started off with my own journey , um, I was just working extra hours at nights and weekends , for many years, and I didn't know what to do. I was so stuck. And I didn't have a life, and I had two younger kids at that time. I mean, they're teenagers now, but I wanted to just

go home and spend some time with them before their bedtime. So I ended up just taking my, the charts home, unfinished work home. And then after they went to bed, I would, be doing more work. And that was miserable. I felt like I was just going through the motions and and now of course there's like housework.

Thankfully, I'm very grateful for my husband. He's amazing, wonderful. He's helping out. And then, you know, my in-laws kind of help out with, watching the kids, but it's like, I want the mommy time. You know, I want to spend the time with my kids so they still remember me when they grow up. So, so then I just didn't know what to do until the pandemic hit and I was able to go home on time because I was seeing less patients.

And that was wonderful. And I thought, what if I could do the same when I was back to seeing the same number of patients, like the about 20 some, you know, 25 patients a day that I, I see normally. So, then you know, the, the short version of my story is that , I just wanted something different. So I did something different.

I sought life coaching for physicians and there I worked with a coach to, because I figured that my biggest obstacle was going home late, you know, just not being efficient. So then I worked with the coach and, within about three months, and at that time I was already back to seeing the 20 some patients that I was seeing before, that I was able to go home by five thirty with all my work done as opposed to after seven o'clock.

Still with work to do. So that was wonderful. And   these days I'm actually going home before five o'clock pretty consistently with the same, amount of work. And so I thought that it would be wonderful if I could help other physicians do the same. So that's how I started.

So what happened? How that happened was actually it's little steps. It's not like a big thing that happened. So then I realized that, you know what we think about the situation really affects how we feel and we, human beings, are emotional beings and our actions are affected by how we feel.

So, if we feel happy, we're gonna do something differently than when we're angry. We can use that to our advantage, and we have the ability to control what we think. So therefore we can manage how we feel. So that started the efficiency , be it at work or at home-

it's kind of a similar principle. So I want to also invite the audience to think like , when you wake up in the morning. What do you think, how do you start your day? Your default thinking may be that, "oh , I am tired. I don't wanna go to work.

You know, it's another long day." How does that make you feel? Maybe not so pleasant. You know kind of like dreadful and maybe frustrated or easy to anger any of those unpleasant emotions. So that's already not a very good start of the day. So, instead you can say to yourself that, "all right, that's my first thought, and that's okay.

I don't have to adopt that the whole day." So an alternative is you can decide what to think or what to focus on. So for me, I always share with other people and it worked for me that , I decided to think that today is going to be good no matter what happens. So, you know I'm being realistic about it because when I think that is that, , it's kind of hopeful.

You know, it makes me upbeat about it. And also take into account of any surprises, good or bad, that would happen during the day and, you know, 'cause those things we cannot control, but we can control how we react to those situations. So that's how I start my day. And the other thing is also very important is to remember what your goal is.

I think for a lot of working parents, it's really, you know, you want to be efficient, you want to take care of the work. If you're a physician, take care of the patient or whatever work that you're doing , get it done, get it done well, and then go home to take care of the family.

So, if that's your goal, you know what, just keep that in mind that, for me it's, I want to take great care of the patients and go home on time so that I can spend it with my family. So, you get to have your own sentence and your own goal of what you want to do, because. You remember that throughout the day that whenever you come across any challenges, anything that you don't want to do or anything that frustrates, you're like, "okay, all right, let me take a step back and I'm gonna get this done because I wanna go home on time," or whatever it is.

I think that really sets the tone for the day and that's so important. 

That was a boatload right there. Like I think you hit so many really great points. It's the attitude that you bring into your day, the energy that you bring towards this very focused goal of, "okay, we're gonna get our work done.

And here's the end goal is I'm gonna go home on time to be with my family." And being able to actually stay on track with that with a sense of joy, and also anticipating any potential obstacles that might arise. I remember. So I had the same experience during COVID where, you know, my workload went down for a brief amount of time.

And I was all telemedicine, so I felt like the pressure to see patients wasn't as intense because I wasn't waiting on the check-in and, you know, staffing, rooming all of that stuff. It was just, you know, a very direct connection with my patients. So I really enjoyed that. There were surprises for sure, and there are still surprises. So what are some of the things that you do to help yourself stay on track when a surprise or an obstacle creeps into your day? 

yeah. So , you are right, you know, think focus. It's a very big challenge sometimes. So , to be able to focus, I think there's a little bit of preparation work that we can do before we start the day.

I think that , we gotta take care of ourselves , of our physical health. So, the eating right, sleep tight, exercise, those are things that we tell other people to do and it's very important for us to do, too. So, enough sleep is so important because when you're rested, your mind is clearer.

You can think better, faster, and more efficient that way. And also, less likely to be distracted. So, I think that part is very important and other things that you can minimize the distraction is like say for example when you're at work, maybe just turn off some of the unnecessary notifications, like say even put away your phone or put it on silent mode.

If you have emails, maybe just turn off the notification because whenever you hear that sound, that ding, or whatever it is, you, your mind goes, you know, wonder like, hmm, what is it about? Even if you are not opening it, your mind is already gone, you know? Mm-hmm. And then you have to pull it back. So that takes time, you know?

So, it happens 20 times a day or more. That's how many times that you're distracted and it takes you quite a few minutes to get back on track really , to do what you're doing. So I think it's very important to minimize those distractions. And then also when you find your mind, you know, wandering you gotta discipline it and say, okay.

This is my goal again, that that's why the goal is so important. Focus, and I'm going to get this done and then I can be distracted, whatever, later on. Mm. So the other thing is also the workplace. If, you know, you're able to just set up kind of , protocols for your staff, you know, to, let them know that when it is okay

to interrupt what you're doing, like say if there's an emergency or something like that. Otherwise, do not knock at my door or interrupt me while I'm doing something. That's really helpful too, because then you're minimizing the distractions that other people are creating for you. So, I think those are very important things.

And of course your preparation, I always think that it's key, be it at work or at home. It's like you prioritize what is important to do. And so for me it's of course, you know, seeing the patient, doing the charts, doing their orders, take care of the patient, in the outpatient setting one at a time.

So when I go to the next patient, I don't have to think about the previous patient anymore. And that's a very heavy mental load that I don't have to worry about and I can focus on one person at a time. So for someone who's in corporate, you may want to just kind of like do the most difficult things, the important things first, and then do other things later.

The other thing is also delegation. If you have a team utilize the team members. Your goal is really to make it work. Mm-hmm. To take great care of the people, the project, the patients, whatever it is. Communication is the key. make sure that everyone knows what they're supposed to do, because that is really helpful.

Like, say, for me, it's like I ask the nurses to call back the patients, especially for the straightforward things, you know, like say if you have to supplement iron or anything, or even like refills, you know, so whatever you can delegate, you delegate. Even at home. You know, ask your kids to do stuff. Yes. Yes. Right? 

All of the above, Mary. All of the above. 

It's like, you know what? They, then they learn to be independent. They learn that, hey, you gotta work hard and you can do different things. They have their homework and then they do the chores.

So they know how to kind of like divide up their time to do and then they can play. Okay. So I think it's a win-win win situation. So it's like they learn how to cook a little bit, like, depending on how old they are. Do some laundry, or you can, whatever you like.

You can even do like I guess reward system or like pocket money, whatever it is. So, so just make it fun, make it work. And I think that, then you can do it as a family. So for me, for example, I think, 'cause I'm always, you know, like busy at work and all, so I actually. It's kind of funny, but, um, sometimes I actually enjoy doing dishes because I'm like, oh, I actually get to do dishes as opposed to doing my work.

Right. 

Yeah. Sometimes the work needs to be mind freeing work. In other words. Dishes. You can go into autopilot, laundry, you can go into autopilot. Doesn't take a lot of thought. Yeah, I totally understand. I remember my, one of my earlier jobs before medical school I was in I was in retail and folding clothes.

Like, now I don't like to fold clothes, but back then when I was paid to fold clothes, I didn't mind it so much. And I just thought about, all sorts of philosophical things. But yes, you're right. There's something enjoyable about being able to do something else with your mind that's not necessarily always work related and giving yourself permission.

To let go of the work stuff. Yeah, yeah, 

yeah. I think that "let go" part is also very important. So, so that also ties into efficiency because it's like you don't have to be perfect. And that's okay. And I think a lot of high achieving professionals and of course, you know, including physicians, it's like, we gotta be perfect.

We're trained to, to get straight a no, a plus even, you know, in, in everything. And in real life we don't have to, because we're human beings. We're not perfect. We don't have to do everything perfect. If you're a brain surgeon, I want you to be as perfect as possible during your surgery.

But you know, other things, like for example, like my note writing for, uh, the patient documentation, yes, you want the accurate information, but in terms of like, you don't have to write kind of like an English paper style. You just have to jot down the essential information because what is the goal of that note is to record what you did, what you think, and remind yourself later,

and also to communicate with other clinicians of what you think and what you're doing about the patient. Of course, the, insurance and billing part is important too because you know, you document what you're doing and you bill accordingly. But that's it. So you don't have to do more than that.

Just giving yourself the permission that it's okay not to be perfect. I think that's also a big burden off your load. And you can be more efficient because you can focus on what matters more. 

Agreed. So I heard you say things about focus, delegation,

Preparation, and to not get yourself into a mode of perfectionism. So I wanna touch on each of these with a little bit more detail. That focus thing, woo. Our generation, so our generation, we that are currently in our thirties and forties,

really started to get very involved in, you know, oh gosh. Back then it was a AOL and chat rooms and social media, right? Ours was the generation that really started to get involved in that. And. It distracted us a lot during our late high school -college years. And so we see our kids now down this pike, and it is, they are surrounded by this.

Mm-hmm. So it's really interesting because when I see kids in the office and I have parents saying, "Hey, they have trouble with focus." Well, not everybody who has an issue with focus necessarily has ADHD, right? Mm-hmm. Sometimes, we live in a world where there are too many notifications or there's too many tabs open, or there's

just way too much distraction. And back in the day, back in the dark ages, this is what I joke about with my patients, is back in the dark ages before social media , we didn't have all that, right? Like, we didn't have the constant dinging on our phones. Mm-hmm.

I'm like, I'm telling you this from a place of love. And this goes to all the parents out there, or the high achievers. If you have a phone that's constantly dinging, it is impossible to get work done. Exactly , so even just creating a framework like, okay, for these two hours I'm gonna put my phone on silence.

Some phones have the ability to allow for notifications only from some people, which I think is a really important thing. Like I have a young child. Yeah, where I would wanna know if there was an emergency. So I might not block everybody, right? But there might be a set certain number of people where I allow those notifications to go through.

But we have the ability to kind of filter and so I encourage people to really filter and especially teenagers and children who have devices and cell phones. Right. This is a really important piece. You've got your homework out. Put the cell phone away. Mm-hmm. If you really need it for reference, like you're actually looking things up, don't go down the rabbit hole.

If you see something, pop up on your text messages, do the specific thing that you set out to do, complete it, and then you can move on, right? We in the workplace have to do this too. We're a little bit better trained because we didn't have as much social media when we were younger, but this newer generation, like, oh, it's , it's a bit of a challenge and you feel that withdrawal, like you feel like you're missing something, right?

So that focus piece is huge. In terms of preparation, what are some of the things that you do to prepare yourself as you come into your day? 

Yeah, so I think , you know, besides the eating, sleeping, exercise part is how to set the tone for the day that we, we talked about.

I think that is so important to, to just get that going every day consistently. For the work part is. Me as the physician, I'm mostly doing outpatient, so I know who's coming to see me. I already have the schedule. So I, you know, I know it in advance that okay, who needs what and I already kind of like familiarize myself with the schedule at least one day beforehand.

In the morning time, I do a little quick huddle with my team. So I have a small team. So it's, a medical assistant and a nurse I work with and, and it's, uh, you know, different people every day. So they try to rotate to be fair, I guess. So then we just run down the list really quickly, you know, to say that, okay, this needs what, or that one needs

hemo or whatever it is. And, and we end the meetings like, today's gonna be a good day. So, I consider myself as the leader of the team, you know, even though it's a small team, but you know, you work together because I rely on the medical assistant to bring the patients into the room, to room them, to get the vitals.

And they have to be on time for me to be on time. So, they have to be efficient and I think the attitude really matters. So I think that, that part of the preparation is so important too. If you're not a physician, but you still have a team to work with, it's kind of like, Hey, you know what?

This is the tone that, that we choose to have, and this is the attitude that we're gonna have for the day. And yes, we're gonna have some challenges. There may be some surprises and we're just gonna face it together as a team. 

I love it. So, when I was a younger physician, I carried a lot of guilt about this delegation piece. A lot.

Yeah. Same and part. Yeah. Part of it was. Because I knew what needed to get done and how to do it.  Before I went to medical school, I did work as an MA, a medical assistant.

And so back then, I knew how to do some scheduling. I knew how to do some charting, you know, the basics, getting the vitals, making phone calls, calling in prescriptions. And these are all just examples. But when it came time to be a physician, and maybe this is partially also because of what we did in residency, which is the training part, you were still asked to do all those tasks.

Yes. When I went into becoming a full fledged attending. I felt bad giving those tasks to my medical assistants or my nursing staff. And the reality is this is, they're there to help, right? Mm-hmm. So when we have staff, when we have hired somebody, like they're there to help. Let them do the things that they are capable and willing to do, or, you know, set the expectation that, Hey, I'm hiring you for X, Y, Z responsibilities.

Are these things that you're comfortable with doing? And then being able to, again, give yourself permission to let go and pass those things on. Yes. Also, there's the other piece about, you know, right, this perfectionism piece that you mentioned before. Mm-hmm. Sometimes. I can't think of anybody who would ever feel this way, but sometimes we worry that other people might not do as good a job as we might.

And so being able to let go of that expectation and letting others get into that routine of doing things. And then if there are necessary tweaks, necessary tweaks. Mm-hmm. Um, not nitpicky tweaks, um, to go ahead and gently correct somebody, that it's not the end of the world if they make a mistake.

And this is truly a learning opportunity for them and for us as leaders. Mm-hmm. I wish I had learned some of this in residency or medical school so that when I stepped into an attending with a patient panel, that I wasn't running my wheels and feeling overwhelmed all the time because that was the end result, is,

I hadn't yet stepped into that role of leadership. I really was struggling with everything. And some people might not realize it because we haven't vocalized it. I'm definitely guilty of this. If I, if I, feel like I'm struggling, I think I look like I'm struggling.

And also if I look like I'm struggling, maybe somebody will come by and help me. Like, no, you know what, not all of us always look like we're struggling, even though we are struggling internally. Mm-hmm. And you know, that means that we're expecting the people around us to be mind readers. And that's just not, not a fair expectation of our staff or even, you know, if it comes to family, it's not

fair for our family, you know? 

Yeah. 

And we end up resentful. 

And there's another part, it's like, oh, you know, um, I, I shouldn't look like I'm struggling because I'm supposed to know how to do everything and or, or do everything. Yeah. So I think, you know, that what we have been talking about, the letting go part is so important, you know, to let go and give yourself the permission to let go, um, to let other people do their job because that's what they're here for.

And I think, you know, the staff members when they're being hired, it's important for, for them to know that, "Hey, you know, this is what you're here for. You are here to work as a team, whatever role that you're, you're doing." So, for us is yes, you know, let, let other people do their job and, and you know, if, if that person is doing even just 80% of what you like, is that good enough?

Maybe it is. You know, and then you can, you know, as you mentioned, like just do little tweaks and maybe that will get up to 90% and that's even like, like better than you think that it would happen. So, so I think the letting go part is really so liberating and, and at first it's kind of scary because you're like, wait, wait, I'm holding onto this standard.

Is someone else going to be able to live up to that? If you have good training and communicate well, it's gonna happen. And if that person can't do, and maybe it's that person and you know, you may need to hire someone else to replace that person. Yeah, 

that that is the reality.

But I think the flip side is this is sometimes when we transfer a task over to someone else and let them run with it, I have seen other people's genius. Right. Like, and the joy of being like, oh my gosh, this is amazing.

Like, look at what you've done. Like, that's really cool. In the workplace it's, it's watching my staff interact with patients and letting them know that they're there. Right. Like toddlers sometimes are very hard to please. So when you have a staff member that's just exceptionally good with toddlers, you're like, yes, we've won the gold medal here.

Like this is great. You know? Right. So what are the things that you feel like have been most helpful in terms of being efficient at home?

It's really a combination of what we talked about, is the prioritizing, you plan ahead what you want to be done. And sometimes, you know, there are days that you may just want to do the minimum, and that's okay. You know, really the letting go part and not necessarily have my home a hundred percent clean or neat all the time, and that's okay. You know, maybe just my work corner is clean and then, and then sometimes, it's kind of funny. Sometimes I just want to invite people over because that's my excuse to really do a big cleaning. That's a good one actually. I get , my kids to work too. So I'm like, Hey, you know what, you clean this corner, you clean that corner. So delegation and get them to work. And you know what? I get to hang out with my friends, which is what I enjoy doing too. So, I think that, at home, of course, everyone's situation is different.

You have, uh, probably kids of different ages or even like older parents that you're, you're being a caretaker of, so I think it's like you just have to kind of sit back and take a look at the big picture of what is important, what needs to be done. Do you need to hire someone to help you?

Do you, do you need a babysitter um, like a 24 hour person to take care of your parents? Something like that. And I think that when, when you need the help. You know, don't, don't be afraid to get the help because you know, as you mentioned, like even your staff member, like someone is like, that's their zone of genius.

That, may be, you know, what they're good at. And even though you're good at it, you don't have time to do everything, you know, uh, on the plate. And, and that's okay. We're not designed to do everything that we want to do in a day, and we just have to prioritize what is important for the day.

And then also your long-term goal is like, okay, eventually maybe this needs to get done and you do this step by step. Something like that, you know? So I think that the home is always changing. Kids are growing and maybe eventually, like in a few years, I'll be empty nester.

So, the prioritizing is different at that time. Because we're, we are flexible, you know, we, we can change, like today's priorities are not going to be the same as like, say even a few months from now. So, so be a little bit lighthearted about it too.

And, and just remember what you enjoy. Like, I enjoy family time. I enjoy to connect with them. I enjoy connecting with my patients. That's what I enjoy at work. Even though there are things that you don't like in both places, just focus on, oh, this is what I enjoy doing and I'm just gonna make it work so that I get some joy every day.

Yes. 

There's a reason why we do everything. Mm-hmm. But I feel like so many people really believe that we're supposed to be happy all the time, 24 7.

Most people feel happiness in contrast to sadness, in contrast to frustration, in contrast to all these other negative emotions, right? Yeah. So you have to be able to have a negative emotion to have a positive emotion.

That's why they're negative and positive. Right? Right. So there's one piece where, right, like I have, I have this wonderful business. I love it. Do I love handling all the emails? No. Do I love talking to interesting, amazing people? Yes. This is the reason. This is what gives me the joy and allows me to be able to process some of the stuff that I don't love as much.

Same thing with patient care. I love seeing patients don't love the charting. Do I have to do both? Yes. The good comes with the bad. Um, yeah. But one other piece that I thought was really interesting was when I was doing my coach training was this idea of scheduling yourself first. And it was the first time that anybody had ever told me that I could do something like that.

And up until that point in my life, I had put everything or everyone else ahead of my own needs. Maybe part of this was, you know, cultural training, social media, the culture of medicine for sure. You know, that's what we are vowing ourselves to is we're putting our patients in front of us.

And we do that on day one of medical school. Yes. So like, there's so many different factors, but when I did my coach training, and that's what they said was schedule yourself first. And I actually looked at the calendar and I was like, okay. I need half an hour to take a shower. I need this many hours of sleep.

I need this much time to eat my meals, and these are the hours I'm left with like just literally the most basic needs. Mm-hmm. Up until that point, I had been shoveling food, my mouth while doing patient charts or standing over the sink while the kids are at the table and I'm trying to keep food off the floor.

Right. Like if I have time for myself, I'll be lucky. Mm-hmm. So this is, I think, a very, very important piece because it helps us to craft the rest of our schedule for the week or even our lives, right? Like the big picture is, okay, what are our basic needs?

How much time do I have to allot for that? And then after I've done that how much time do I have for work? Right? If we have to pay the bills, we have to work x number of hours per week to be able to pay the bills. Okay? Now that's in our calendar. Okay? Now where, where's the time for joy? If there isn't time for joy, something needs to change because it's not sustainable.

It's no longer sustainable. So when I came to that conclusion, I was like, uh, what do I do with my life? It was an eyeopener. So have you ever run into a similar situation with your, you know, it sounds kind of like you did before COVID hit. 

Yeah, I mean, I think really it's almost exactly the same way, that I didn't think of myself as important.



You know, I just take care of everyone else and, um, me, oh, the very last thing and then I just came to realize that, well, if I want to take good care of other people, I gotta take good care of myself first. Because what is the use of me if I'm sick, if I can't function, which happened, just quickly to share that, it was my

last year in residency training, uh, they put me very last rotation to be in the medical ICU because I would be staying on for fellowship. So, you know, senior person, they needed one and I was, I think I ate something wrong. That one morning I woke up. I just didn't feel well. I had really bad diarrhea and then I thought, well.

At that time I was just living, up the hill in the dorms and then I could just literally roll down the hill to the hospital and, and I thought, okay, let me just go to work. I did. Did I work? No, I was so sick that I was just leaning against the desk. I couldn't really move. My attending had to put an IV in me and I was too sick to even go home, um, in the beginning.

So I had to rest for, you know, a few hours, get the IV in before I could go home. So my point is that you gotta take care of yourself first, and and it is, you know, probably heard this multiple times, but  Self-care is not selfish. You want to really take care of yourself so you can serve other people, so you can help other people. And also, you know, by taking care of yourself

physically and mentally, you get to enjoy life. And yes it's not everything in the day that you would like a hundred percent, and that is okay, but you know, you intentionally do something that you enjoy in the day. Like, be it, be like just making joke with

a patient that you enjoy chatting with or, uh, read with your kid, you know, anything. So, as you said, you plan the calendar and say, this is what I'm going to do, and this is the joy piece that I'm gonna incorporate in my calendar. 

I love it. When I put my kids to sleep at night, I often ask them, "tell me about the things that you liked about today."

What joyful things happened today? They'll tell me, and then they ask me the question. Mm-hmm. And almost always, it's my favorite part of the day is just being here. 

Yeah. In 

bed with you guys. Like this is the sweet spot for me. I look forward to that every night, you know?

Mm-hmm. In fact, the nights that I don't get to put my kids to sleep, don't tell my husband this, but you know, the nights that I don't get to put my kids to sleep, I kind of feel like I'm lacking a little bit. Now do I need him to put the kids to sleep sometime? Absolutely. Like sometimes I have other engagements or other

issues that need to be addressed that only I can address and mm-hmm. You know, there's the delegation piece and it gives him that time for being able to love on the kids. So there's that joy. Yeah. Yeah. So as we come to a close, Mary, do you have any last words of advice for our listeners?

This podcast is meant to heal ourselves, our children, and our children's children. So really, you know, we are  legacy building here. We are planting seeds for the future. 

Yeah, so I think that  We're surrounded by our situations, our circumstances, and they're neutral until we put an opinion

about them. So we get to decide and choose what we think about our situation. It can build you up or, or bring you down and you know, choose one that is building you up, choose one that is helpful because   what you think affects how you feel. And I think that it's so important to just set the tone for the day. And it very importantly we just talked about is really sprinkle some joy

every day. It can be something small, it can be like, a bath, you know, instead of a shower or or, uh, going to your yoga class, you know, something like that that will bring, you know, that brings you joy. And because you know what?

We live only once. We don't have a second chance. And everyone's endpoint is, we're gonna leave this world. So, so it's kind of the process, that journey. We get to decide how to walk it and who we spend time with. Every day is a learning and growing opportunity.

If you think that quote unquote, you "mess up" today, you're like, okay, this is what happened. This is what I learned and I'm going to grow from it. Yes, there are gonna be frustration, anger, and all these unpleasant emotions. Let them happen.

Allow yourself to feel them, because then you get to also feel the joy, the hope, the gratitude, um, because I think those are very important distinctions in life. And, really remember what your purpose is, what your goal is, and live according to your values.

I think that's the most important thing. 

I love it. I fully agree. Yes. We only live once and most likely we're not gonna regret not having done much work or not having gone back to turn our bulleted list from our work into a beautifully well-written paragraph. Unless you're a screenwriter or something like that.

Okay. Exceptions allowed, but yeah. What are the things that at the end of the day that we're gonna reflect on and be like, that was great, versus, you know, I really didn't need to do more of that, but I did anyway. 

Mm-hmm. 

Love it. Thank you. Mary. How can our listeners best find you? 

You can find me on my website, www.shiningwithgratitude md.com. My email is shiningwithgratitudemd@gmail.com. I'm also on Facebook, Mary Leung, and LinkedIn Mary Leung MD. Thank you so much, Mary, for being on the show. I appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me. 



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