Celi Arias (00:00):

Angie Colee (00:03):

Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show that gives you a virtual seat at the bar for the real conversations that happen between entrepreneurs. I'm interviewing all kinds of business owners from those just a few years into freelancing to CEOs, helming nine figure companies. If you've ever worried that everyone else just seems to get it and you're missing something or messing things up, this show is for you. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and let's get to it. Hey, and welcome back to Permission to Kick Ass with me today is my new friend, Sally Aria. Say hi.

Celi Arias (00:37):

Hello.

Angie Colee (00:38):

Oh, I'm so excited for this one. The energy beforehand was, it was starting to crackle. There was a little bit of feistiness. So tell us about what you do.

Celi Arias (00:45):

. I'm, I'm glad to hear that. , I'm a growth strategist and a certified mindset coach. Ooh. So I, I've been in business for actually 30 years. Yes, true story. You're gonna ask me how old I look. I know, but I can explain . And, um, I've been in business coaching and consulting for a really long time, and a few years ago, I just kept seeing a theme of my clients getting stuck over and over and over again. And so I kind of went on a journey to like, I'm an engineer and a, and a C o O by trade. So I was like, how do I engineer that? How do I figure that out? What is, what's that? What's that happening? What's that thing that's happening? I got really curious, and I went on a journey and realized that your mind plays a really big part in whether the strategy is going to work or not, because you have to Oh,

Angie Colee (01:35):

Yes.

Celi Arias (01:36):

Execute on the strategy. So then I added to my arsenal of business tools, I added mindset coaching.

Angie Colee (01:44):

Oh, that's fabulous. I think that's where so many of us get stuck. And, and a lot of the impetus behind this show, because I was tired of hearing this kind of delusion. Like, some people just get it and some people don't. And you know, if you don't have my magic pill, then obviously you're gonna be struggling in your business. Well, no, I mean, the magic pill is really getting right with your own head in between your own ears, and knowing that even if something in front of you doesn't make sense right now, you can make it make sense through persistence and through resourcefulness. So like, yeah, that drives me nuts. .

Celi Arias (02:17):

Yeah. I mean, that is, you're, well, you're preaching to the choir.

Angie Colee (02:21):

Yes, for sure. .

Celi Arias (02:22):

But I always, I, I like to be, I, I recognize that sometimes I'm very triggering. Like you'll, if you follow me on social media, I say things like, you don't need a funnel. Mm-hmm. , you don't need a website. You don't need a new brand. Like, you don't need a lot of these things. You don't need affiliate links. You don't need, like, I'm just seeing all that. You don't need the follower numbers, you don't need the links. Like, that is not how you build businesses. That's not how you create sales. But I, I do say this and I, I teach this a lot. Unless you have a franchise, no cookie cutter solution is going to be the thing. Yes. That's your business in the long run. Mm-hmm. . 'cause people come to me and go, okay, I'm so tired. I've spent so much money on other coaches.

Celi Arias (03:11):

So like, are you gonna give me the thing? And I'm like, well, right there. We gotta talk about what you just said. Yes. The words that just came outta the mouth. We gotta talk about your thinking, because I wish there was a magic pill, but you are just looking for the next magic pill because mm-hmm. , our industry and some of the, some people who are brilliant marketers have now trained your brain to believe that there's some magic pill out there. Magic. Yes. So, am I one of the best business coaches out there? Absolutely. Will I build a strategy for you and like build a business for you? Absolutely. Is it a magic pill? Hails? No. .

Angie Colee (03:48):

I love everything that you just said for multiple reasons. One, because you just so eloquently and pridefully owned the fact that you know your and you are amazing at what you do. And I think a lot of us, especially women, tend to like downplay our own brilliance and the thing that we bring to the table that makes us so special. But no, like, own it. Take a page from Sally, imitate that right there until you feel confident in it. And then, like, I, I'm, I take the same tactic with everybody that I coach, which is, it all works. That's why there are so many people out there that are successfully selling their one thing because all of them work. The thing that you're missing is that's what works for them, which means you're going to have to go through some sort of trial and error process and find what works for you, because all of it works, but it may not work for you. I will never cold call a person in my life. I hate it. I avoid it. I procrastinate on it. It is not for me. Does that mean it doesn't work? Absolutely not. There are plenty of people out there making a fine living, doing cold calling, and they're good at it and they enjoy it. Good for them. Not for me. Fine. .

Celi Arias (04:58):

Yeah. I mean, you just said so many things right there. I could go on if a whole, I'm gonna like try to remember number one. Yes. Um, thank you for noticing what I did there, because I did it intentionally. Um, I have been a student of Tracy lit's Mind Magic work for years, and I'm certified under her. And it took me many, many years to even say, holy, I've been in business for 30 years. I have started companies, sold companies, closed seven figure deals, fundraised for startups, and seven figures. Been a e o. I've done all the things I need to, I did a lot of mindset work and inner work just to be able to say I'm one of the best in the industry. Mm-hmm. . So, so I do that on purpose, um, also because I do it in my programs. Mm-hmm.

Celi Arias (05:42):

, I have two programs, and one of them is called Roadmap to Millions, and it's just business fundamentals. And I said that in my program, uh, like two or three weeks ago. And a client, all clients have access to me. That's also how I'm different. I don't believe in modules and you not getting personalized feedback and attention. It's just my, that's my jam. That's how I roll. Oh, yeah. Um, somebody messaged me and said, oh my God, you really triggered me. Hmm. By saying that you think you're one of the best coaches in the world. And I was like, great. I'm so glad I triggered you. Let's talk about it. Mm-hmm. , I'm glad that was triggering for you. I wasn't like, because I still know that the triggering isn't about me. It's about her. And so we had this beautiful conversation. I was like, why were you triggered?

Celi Arias (06:29):

And she's like, because I realized that I don't, I'm an expert chef mm-hmm. and don't talk about what I do. Share it with people, boast about what I do. And I would've never, you know, and I was like, yeah, okay, great. Step into my mastermind where we'll address all of that. Yes. So, um, I do it, I do say certain things to , hi, morning, I, I will trigger you mm-hmm. , um, don't do it to be a jerk. I do it because sometimes when we get a little jarred out of the, the things we're being marketed and told over and over and over again, it, the jarring is just enough for you, your brain to go, Hmm. Wait a minute. That sounded different. Yes. Okay. Wait. And sometimes all we need to do is one of the first things we need to do is just get curious, right? Mm-hmm. , so I I I do trigger you intentionally sometimes just to like, it's like how, um, Tony Robbins says that he will throw in an F-bomb just to get people uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. , it's kind of like Yeah. As a woman entrepreneur Yes. Who looks much younger than she is, I will say crazy. Like I've been building businesses for over 30 years and I'm one of the best. Yeah. I don't think

Angie Colee (07:47):

That's crazy at all. I want that to become more of the norm, especially for female entrepreneurs, uh, for people that identify as others, people who typically have been excluded from business for not looking like the traditional, you know, guy in a suit success story. Right. And there was something that you said interesting, like, I'm taking all these notes and circling things, but you said something interesting about triggering that made me recall a previous conversation with another guest where she said, um, there's being honest and there's being a jerk, and honesty without empathy is just being mean. And so, like, I love that you brought that up in terms of the triggering conversation, because I do think that intent counts for that. You want to trigger somebody because you wanna shake them out of your comfort zone. And coming out of your comfort zone is just a uncomfortable experience, plain and simple, but you don't have to be a dick and talk down to somebody and destroy their self-confidence to trigger them into change. Right. And I think that's a misconception that a lot of these, you know, I have opinions on the kinds of business coaches that like to tear you down to build you up, but I think that you can make somebody uncomfortable with something. And that's really the impetus for all the positive change that happens. Nobody just goes, well, my life is going great and I love everything about it. Let's blow up.

Celi Arias (09:00):

Yeah. That's a really, you've made some really good points. And, and I think what I do is I use myself always as an example. Um, so I never am going to trigger you by calling you out or making you mm-hmm. feel bad about where you're at. I will always talk about either how good I'm doing or how bad I'm doing, and I will always talk about my mistakes. Mm-hmm. and all of my errors, because my perfection. I'm my, I'm a recovering perfectionist, actually, I'm think I'm doing a pretty good job, same of being perfect, but in the past I would've never talked about my failures. Hmm. Um, but the more, the more content I make to really help people and I'm a speaker, the more I've had to put together speaking engagements and presentations and slides, the more I realized, like, is that my mistakes really made who I am. Mm-hmm. . And really my mistakes are what, what's made me so good. Yeah. So now I'm like, yeah, let's talk about why I started a business when I was 10. Let's talk about that time I was homeless. Let's talk about mm-hmm. Let's talk about like, the business that I ran in my twenties and worked seven days a week for eight years. Oh

Angie Colee (10:15):

My gosh. Like,

Celi Arias (10:16):

You know what I mean? Like, let's, like, the reason I teach you the things I teach you and the way I teach you is because, oh my God, I do not want that for you. Mm-hmm. . So I get, I get better and better and better at using myself as an example. Mm-hmm. , I

Angie Colee (10:32):

Love that. I mean like, the, the prescriptive, like, this works for me, so it'll work for everybody. Thing drives me nuts. But I don't think that's what you're doing here. I think you're talking about this is how we learn by putting ourselves out there in all of our imperfect glory and figuring out as we go. Um, I had a very visceral reaction to something like, I've been dragging my feet for years working on a book. 'cause I think I faced the same pressure that a lot of first time author Yeah. Five years, it's coming out this year. I am saying it publicly to hold my feet to the fire. Fire. Yes. I like, we're both over here cheering . But, um, you said

Celi Arias (11:08):

It to me, so now what's gonna happen is I'll be calling you and being like, Hey,

Angie Colee (11:11):

Hey, where that book?

Celi Arias (11:13):

How's that book ? Well,

Angie Colee (11:15):

It's all culminating in this great idea that literally just came together for me yesterday. I've been kind of throwing out to pass podcast guests. Like, I turned 40 this year, and I think I wanna be on like 40 stages, 40 podcasts, 40. Like, I want to be out there in public in a bigger way than I have been by the time I turn 40. But then if I launch the book the week that I turn 40, like it could be this whole big event that I'm super excited by and I'm, I'm tired of dragging my feet. But part of this process, of course, is like, there's a beta reader portion, people who think that you think would be an ideal target market. They volunteer to read the book. They give you their notes. I had a very visceral negative reaction to one of the beta readers who told me that they stopped reading after the introduction because they disconnected at the story of me living out of my car during my early entrepreneurship days. And they were like, that shook my faith in you as a person and as a coach. And told me, I don't think that you can help me get to the next level. And I went, good, then I'm not the person for you because I'm going to live out there with my mistakes and show you that all of this is recoverable and all of this is figureoutable. And you have never messed up as badly as you think that you have, especially if you were willing to step up and own it and do better. Like,

Celi Arias (12:24):

Yeah. And what's what's fascinating about that is, number one, you're clearly not living out of your car anymore. Yeah. . So , I would want to like be like, Hey girl, how'd you do it? Mm-hmm. , number one, uh, that's the kind of person I want to learn from. Okay. And number two, that says something about that person's the fear and beliefs and discomfort Oh yes. Around any possibility of failure. And so that and the shame, the shame and the shame. And, and there's, so they're already dealing with so much shame mm-hmm. around entrepreneurship. And, um, it's just a shame they didn't get past the intro. Yeah. Because they're, that just shows you how set they're Look, I just gave a speech a few days ago in person, and, um, I'm a really passionate speaker and I'm also really nerdy , and I like pop culture, fun, educational, and I bring in neuroscience and like, so I mix in like pop culture goofiness with like neuroscience stats and data. Right. I practice, I present to people, they're like, this is amazing. This is hilarious. I get really great feedback. But on the app for this conference, somebody, instead of giving me five stars gave me four stars. Mm-hmm. .

Celi Arias (13:41):

And I was like, it's like my brain just went, oh my God. Like all the negative thoughts, all the self-doubt, all the stuff came up. And I was like, first of all, put in some like, come give me feedback. Tell me, because there's no way to understand what, who knows what was going on for that person. Second of all, it is really hard to get up here on stage and speak to people in a room for an hour

Angie Colee (14:09):

Wow.

Celi Arias (14:10):

Hour by myself. Yeah. You know, like, that's hard. Give a girl five stars just for like doing it. Mm-hmm. , you know, and then I got to like do my mindset work and let it go.

Angie Colee (14:24):

Yeah.

Celi Arias (14:25):

And I always say, I, I know that the way I teach and I say things that are not what all the other business coaches are saying. So you are going to be triggered. Maybe if I say, Hey, that funnel's not gonna make you a million dollars. Some people will be triggered by it. And so I also was like, well, Sally, you did say you're set out to kind of change the way people think mm-hmm. About their businesses, which means you are gonna rub some people the wrong way, which means you are gonna get 4, 3, 2 stars sometimes from people. And that is part of your journey of accepting. Mm-hmm. And so I was like, mm-hmm. Cool. Okay. Whatever.

Angie Colee (14:59):

Yeah. People don't like being shaken out of that fantasy, out of that comfort zone. Like I know I specialized in launches and like the big internet launches that turn into a big months long hoopla with multiple joint venture partners. I've done launches like that. I burned out on launches like that. I know how they work. And I've had so many people come up to me as a consultant, be like, can you help me with this launch? And I would ask them a couple of key figures about their business. What is your list size? What is your product? Is it proven? Stuff like that. And I would basically tell them, you're not ready for this. This is something that is, you know, a proven offer. You've got a backend strategy that you also know works. You've got these people and these connections that you can leverage.

Angie Colee (15:39):

There are all these things that are in place behind the scenes that you don't necessarily see that make this multimillion dollar launch in a week thing possible. And you don't have those things. That's not to say that you can't get those things, but doing this right now is a huge risk because all of these little dominoes aren't lined up to fall the way that you're anticipating they're going to fall. They don't like when you tell them like, no, I can't make that fantasy come true unless we've got these assets that I can actually use to build that.

Celi Arias (16:08):

Right. That's a really beautiful thing that you're doing though, by just saying that mm-hmm. , because you know, there are so many other people in our industry who would say, yeah, I'll build you that mm-hmm. plus 50 K Yeah. Or whatever. Right.

Angie Colee (16:22):

And they know it's gonna fail from the beginning. You know,

Celi Arias (16:24):

They exist. I know they exist. There are people who will just be like, yeah, sure. Mm-hmm. , I'll build you that. Yeah. So at least by saying No, you don't actually have the dominoes in place.

Angie Colee (16:35):

Yeah. Well,

Celi Arias (16:37):

You're doing really honest business. So

Angie Colee (16:39):

To me, it's not just about the money. Right. Because I can make as much money as I want to. I want the prestige, I want the results, I want the win. Right. Like I, if I'm committing to something, I actually want this to go out there into the world and do some good, I want it to run. So I'm going to choose projects that I think have a high likelihood of winning, and I'm going to help you find a way to get to a win if we're not quite there yet. But I'm not gonna take it just to take money. And maybe I do business differently from people in that regard, but no, it's not just about the money for me.

Celi Arias (17:12):

Well, I love that you said that because as you were talking about this, I knew my answer. Mm-hmm. , I knew in my head my answer and I was like, oh, I, I know why I do it. And then you literally said it. Nice. I'm here for the result. Yes. Like, I want you to get the results. I am a Latina, I was born in Argentina. I grew up with immigrant parents. I watched them work their asses off. I started my business when I was 10 because I really wanted to take ballet. And I knew that my then single mother wouldn't be able to afford it. Mm-hmm. . Um, I had the deep belief that you have to work to work really, really, really like white knuckle hard to make money. Yes. And to, and so what drives me is actually making that journey easier for people who are very serious about their business being their livelihood.

Celi Arias (18:06):

Mm-hmm. , it's possible. But what drives me isn't necessarily the money isn't the first thing that drives me. What drives me is when my clients text me and they're like, holy, this happened. I did that. I just said to my on social media and people congratulated me for it and people signed up or I live. The truth is, I live for that mm-hmm. . And I think it comes from my childhood, my experiences, how I really white knuckled the first, I would say 37 years of my life, right? Yeah. And had to find different ways. And so now that I've found different ways, I'm like, I need to help people and I need, I especially want to help Latinas, Latinos, women of color. I coach men too, because there are people in this world like myself who are wired to be entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. And I don't know, you found this to be true, but in my journey, I found that I was constantly being guilted by the people around me for wanting to be an entrepreneur.

Angie Colee (19:09):

Yes.

Celi Arias (19:10):

Because I got a lot of, you are so smart, you should get a job. Mm-hmm. , you're so smart. You should go build a career. You're so smart. You could climb the corporate ladder so easily. Why are you do? So there was, I was carrying around not only working really hard to make money, but I was also carrying around this deep seated shame for even wanting to be an entrepreneur. Mm-hmm. , that also makes it harder on yourself. So I am really here to, I demystify and break down business and make it super simple for people. Mm-hmm. intentionally, because you can totally be an entrepreneur. You can pay yourself a salary and feed your family and live the life you can and you, and it's not gonna happen from all these like fast, quick fix. Yeah. Rich, get rich quick solutions that you're being sold to, you're being sold to by marketers mm-hmm. who are brilliant at marketing themselves and they're not teaching you just business fundamentals.

Angie Colee (20:08):

Yeah. So

Celi Arias (20:09):

I'm super, I love super passionate about that.

Angie Colee (20:12):

I love everything that you just said because I think, like, I've definitely experienced that guilt. You're too smart for this. You're too smart to be, especially during the early days when I was, it was really a struggle. Like you could always, you can make any career that you want. This is the career that I want. Oh. But, but writers, when I was a writer, writers are struggling and musicians are struggling. I went on to create a reality, a living for myself that was more than anybody in my blue collar family had ever created, doing those things that I wanted to do. And so to me, like one aspect of it is that like, the desire to do something different than people have told you that rebellion against the corporate thing. And then another thing for me was just not fitting into the way corporate life is wired at all. I got late stage

Angie Colee (20:56):

A D H D diagnosis. Uh, they can't see the video right now, but I also have visible piercings that I've had since my early twenties. I've got these big colorful tattoos that I don't like covering up. And I remember getting these really tiny ones when I was early twenties and my dad going, I wish you hadn't done that. Like, you're gonna have a hard time getting a job. You know what these tattoos do? First of all, most people don't even realize these are tattoos. They think I'm wearing a watch or, or a bracelet, these little ones around my wrist. But then when they realize their words, they go, Ooh, what does that mean? And I get to tell them about these four pillars that I have in my life, which are hope, respect, truth, and honor. And why I have them tattooed on me and why they're facing me instead of the people that I'm talking to. And like, it starts this whole conversation. And all of that stemmed from me going, no, I refuse. I refuse to blend in. I refuse to do what somebody else tells me to do in order to be professional and be taken seriously. And has that been easy? Like, did I just stand up for myself once? No, this is a constant fight that I've chosen for myself. It would be a hell of a lot easier if I chose to hide and fit in. Um, but I don't, I can't. Yeah. I won't. Yeah.

Celi Arias (22:09):

It, it would be easier maybe on the outside, but I think on the inside you would be dying inside. There'd be a part of you. You would constantly throwing water on the flame of your soul, right? Yes.

Angie Colee (22:22):

Oh,

Celi Arias (22:23):

Love that. The the thing. Love that, that that lights you up and drives you. You would just be pouring water on it all the time. And, and I think creatives and creators and entrepreneurs, we all kind of know what that feels like. 'cause we've all tried it. I definitely mm-hmm. , when I closed my clothing brand, I definitely went and got a job 'cause I was exhausted. Yeah. And everybody kept pushing me to, and I went into corporate brand partnerships and sales. I had fuchsia hair at the time. Love it. And managed to get hired, you know, and then felt the pressure to make it red and not fuchsia. Mm-hmm. . And I did that out of just shame, guilt, feelings of failure, listening to all the voices. And I was so miserable at that job. Mm-hmm. . And I was good at it. That's the crazy thing is I closed some amazing deals, did some amazing pro projects with really impressive fashion brands because my background came from fashion manufacturing and supply chain.

Celi Arias (23:24):

I was able to build a product and a supply chain project for Supreme, for example. Love it. It was like super successful. And I was like coming home and crying every night. Mm-hmm. because environment, the colleagues Sorry, were such. Yep. And the environment was so just horrible. Like Devil Wears Prada mm-hmm. level, like backstabbing just shittiness. And so ev here on the, in the, the world around me, people were like, good job. You got a salary and you got a corporate job and look at you like having to dress up to go to work and look at you closing those deals. And I was like, dying inside. Mm-hmm. . So

Angie Colee (24:12):

I'm glad you brought up the Devil Wears product. 'cause that's like one of my favorite, like, it's not really even a joy to watch. I kind of watch it every once in a while to remind myself that that's not something I ever wanna go back to. But there's that line from Stanley Tucci where he talks about like, call me when your life blows up. Then you'll know you're really, it's time for a promotion. . I'm like, what? I have to blow up my life in order to be good at my work. What?

Celi Arias (24:36):

Ugh. Yeah. Hate that. Yeah. And I've actually witnessed that kind of stuff. So people think that maybe is kind of a comedy or a farce, but I think if you've worked in that industry, it's a little . It gives you a little P t s d . Yes.

Angie Colee (24:51):

It's, it's a very, I mean, I think they wrote it to be kind of comedic, but it's definitely a, a, a cautionary tale, I would say for somebody that has ambitions. And if you can dare to think up your own picture of success that maybe doesn't have a corner office and all of the, you know, the, the reputation cachet of a Miranda priestly in this movie. But whatever your picture looks like, if you have a picture, you can figure out how to get there. But it's just that most people won't even think of a picture or they think that their picture is not possible. 'cause it doesn't look like anybody else's. And that makes me so sad. .

Celi Arias (25:28):

Yeah. You know, the fun thing is in the work that I do is that anything is possible. Mm-hmm. . And I've really seen it and I've helped people build it. And in my programs, um, especially in the foundations, but in both the, the non-negotiable thing we always do is we make sure you have a clear vision. Mm-hmm. , I get into numbers, systems, marketing, sales, all the, all the business stuff. But we have to start at a very clear vision of what your business does, feels like, looks like, and what type of life it creates for you. Mm-hmm. . 'cause we're a lot of times we're working so hard in service of our business. And actually, if you understand business fundamentals, you can build a business that actually works for you and gives you the life you want. I am living a life now that I would've never imagined years ago. Mm-hmm. . But I'm definitely in this place now where I think, oh my God, I am living the dream life. Yeah. I work from home. I travel and speak when I get invited. I love doing that. Um, but then the introvert in me gets to work from home and serve a lot of clients. I'm going to Europe this summer for three and a half months.

Angie Colee (26:46):

Love it.

Celi Arias (26:47):

And I still get to run my programs and run my minimal programs and deliver for my clients, but also live my life. Mm-hmm. , what other job could you do that in, you know? Right. So I always like it is, please know, it is totally possible to build a business that serves your life. Mm-hmm.

Angie Colee (27:09):

, it's possible. Yeah. And I think it starts with knowing what you want in your life. That was like one of the biggest e even when I left the corporate job to start my own business, I took with me a lot of that social conditioning, that corporate thinking, that employee thinking with me and almost recreated a job for myself as a business. And I think a lot of us do that. Yeah. Well, I mean, and it's understandable too, like if you've gone through this, I want you to remove that shame and judgment from yourself because the employee frame viewpoint is what you have is what you grew up with. We were all taught to be good employees in a capitalist society. So it's not surprising to me that so many of us recreate a job in our first couple attempts in a business sometimes. But like what happened to me when I decided to be a digital or a digital nomad and I started to travel, like you said, was that I noticed, I think in my first couple weeks that I was doing that same thing.

Angie Colee (28:04):

I'm sitting at my desk for 10 to 12 hours a day doing all of the work, not exploring. And at some point my brain started yelling at me, what's the point of doing all this work in someone else's house if you're not even going to go out and explore? So slowly but surely, I started making dinner appointments and going out to see things still didn't quite break that pattern until a couple months later in Nashville when I, it was still covid shutdowns. It was 2021. And to get into see some of these bigger places with the attendance limits that they had, you had to make an appointment. And if they only had one appointment while I was there, I had to take that appointment and make it work. And then I started to realize that like, oh, the work will fit in around my life. If I prioritize my life and what I want from my life, I can find space to make the work happen. But if I never bother to make my life happen, the work will take over. And that was kind of the aha moment for me that like, no, if I wanna travel and see things, that has to be the priority, not the work. It was interesting to me.

Celi Arias (29:03):

Yeah, no, that's absolutely right. I mean, I, I really love what I do now and I love my work and I'm very passionate about it and I love my clients. And it was my partner who wanted to be in Europe. And I was the one who ironically, who was really resistant. Mm. Because I'm like, no, I'm trying to get more speaking engagements. I feel like I need to be here and go to conferences. And, you know, and he said to me, what is the point of having your own business if you are stuck inside your office all day, even though the, your office is in our home. Mm-hmm. , what is the point of that? And I was like, Ooh, dude.

Angie Colee (29:41):

Alright. . You know how the word hurts,

Celi Arias (29:44):

Man? Yeah. I was like, oh, you sound like me to my clients . I was like, alright, book a ticket. Fine. You know,

Angie Colee (29:51):

Love, it's, and I was likes

Celi Arias (29:53):

You, you right.

Angie Colee (29:54):

You need people like that in your life though. The people that I call it a loving mirror. Like they reflect the truth back at you. And if this is one of the things that you stand for, that you're violating your own PR principles, whether intentionally or unconsciously. Right. Somebody that goes, but isn't this what you stand for? I love you, but there's a disconnect here for me. And then you go, stop, stop making uncomfortably true observations at me. I don't like it. .

Celi Arias (30:21):

Absolutely. Look, we alway, we all have our things. Mm-hmm. , we all have our things that we are working through. And that's why I love integrating mindset into business strategy. Because for me, I'm very clear that overworking is my fear flavor. Yes. Ooh. I always believe I'm gonna outwork my fear. I'm gonna outwork self doubt. I'm gonna outwork my shame. I'm gonna outrun it. I'm like, that's just how I'm wired. 'cause I was wired. That's my survival mechanism as a kid. Right. So I am wired to get on that treadmill and try to outrun any, anything that feels off, right? Mm-hmm. . Um, so it's great to go, oh, you're right. I need to be able to step away and be in Europe and just run my programs and not be doing all the extra things and live my life. That's gonna be a great, that's a great challenge for the way my mind is wired and all the unwiring and rewiring I'm doing. So we're all doing it. Mm-hmm. , we're all doing the work all the time.

Angie Colee (31:24):

All the time. And I love that I wrote down fear flavor. 'cause I loved that. I identify with that hardcore because that is the way that I deal with anxiety and fear too. Like, I immediately go into action mode. How can I solve this? What can I do? Who can I contact? How like busy is my mode when I'm dealing with uncomfortable feelings? And that actually happened not too long ago when my friends and I hosted an event together and I realized like, we've got event staff taking care of everything. We've got the content down. All I'm doing is literally like setting the container and holding the space and being available for people. And that was so uncomfortable. Oh no. I felt like I needed to do something over the time. That's like an

Celi Arias (32:01):

Overworks nightmare. . Yes.

Angie Colee (32:03):

Right. Just to sit there with a lot of extra space. And so we had a lot of productive conversations about that. And like I said, it's wonderful to have friends like this in your life that reflects that back to you. And she would ask me, so everything's taken care of? Yes. And you're still upset. And I was like, yes. What is it that would make you happy right now? Having things to do? She's like, there's nothing to do. I don't know what to tell you. Like, it's all taken care of. That's my dream. You're doing enough.

Celi Arias (32:30):

That is my dream life. You're talking about my dream life. I always tell my clients and I, I give this speech that I always say my future self, like what I'm working towards and building my future self is I wanna be Rihanna.

Angie Colee (32:43):

Oh, that sounds great.

Celi Arias (32:45):

I wanna be Rihanna. I wanna show up to some big event. No sideKick Ass just being me. Mm-hmm. , minimal dancing, onesie, , maybe pregnant, wearing a loose, not even like super sexy onesie, just showing up, being myself and making tons of money from all my side businesses because I showed up.

Angie Colee (33:07):

Mm-hmm. ,

Celi Arias (33:08):

That's, that's she's goals. I'm like, we all can take, we can take a a card from her book. Yeah. As, especially as women entrepreneurs and go, oh, , that's a, that's a female entrepreneur right there. She just showed up millions of dollars. By the way, she doesn't get paid for that performance. You know, the performance don't, they don't get paid to perform. They get their costs covered, but there's no fee they make money from if they're smart about how they leverage the commercials and the product placement. Mm. You can clever. So your girl like crushed it. She didn't invite a sideKick Ass. Mm-hmm. , she did like her greatest hits. She, everybody was wearing Fenty. There were commercials before and during all about Fenty products. Like, her whole performance was brilliant because she just shows up, makes everybody go wild. But it was all like product placement because no stars actually get paid for that halftime show.

Angie Colee (34:10):

Ooh, that's so brilliant. I just, I love the fact that we're finally getting to a point in business where, uh, we can just point to examples like this and say, no, I mean, your argument about how it should be done and the way that I need to get to success is invalid. Look at Rihanna . I can do this a completely different way. We can find a different model for this that fits my needs. And if my needs aren't in an alignment with yours as a business that's great. Or as a client, that's great. That means that we're not a good fit. That's fine. Yeah. But if we're in alignment, we're gonna make something beautiful together. That's awesome. Yeah.

Celi Arias (34:48):

Absolutely. Yeah. I love

Angie Colee (34:51):

That

Celi Arias (34:51):

It comes, it does all kind of come down to alignment. And I do think for all of you people who are like, what are they talking about? And get back to business strategy. . The secret is, the real secret is, is when you can align your business strategy with your mind mm-hmm. , you have the ability to actually untangle the two when you need to. Yes. And go, oh wait, this is a strategy problem and this, or No, this is a me problem. This is a mindset problem. This is my self-doubt or fear coming up. When you can do that, when you can separate the two. Do you have like neo Matrixx powers mm-hmm.

Angie Colee (35:29):

.

Celi Arias (35:30):

Yeah. Because you have the ability to know when you need to work your strategy and when you need to work your mindset. But what happens is we all walk around intermeshed and entangled our beliefs and our thoughts and our feelings and our emotions and our past and our history all gets tangled up in whatever strategy we're trying to work out on our business. Oh,

Angie Colee (35:48):

Yes. And

Celi Arias (35:48):

So then we think we have the wrong strategy, and so we think we need the next new thing. Oh, that coach says they do this, this, I need that course. I need that program. I have to work with that coach now. Oh, this coach does this thing and we, oh, it's now this, this is the new algorithm, this is the new tool. This is the new hack. Because we haven't been able to untangle all of our self-doubt in our thoughts and our feelings about ourself. We haven't been able to pull it apart from strategy. Mm-hmm. . Um, and so that's what I try to help people do is like, no, no, no. This is the strategy. This is what we're working. If it makes you uncomfortable, let's address the discomfort.

Angie Colee (36:27):

Yes. And if you're not working in your, your area of genius, your strengths, that's something to bring into the strategic picture as well. Because I know that that is a wall that I've run into time. And again, that only in the past couple of years I've managed to untangle because there's a lot of like, there's a lot of societal head trash and capitalistic head trash that gets associated with the things that come naturally and instinctively to us. And I don't like it. I wanna set it all on fire. But like, one of the things that came to me as an A D H D person who's capable of hyper-focus and you know, doing a whole bunch of stuff, an impossible workload in a short amount of time was this idea of like, there's hard work and there's fun, and those two should be separate. They're not integrated. And what I've discovered about myself in the past couple years, especially in the travel, is that the more fun I have, the more creativity I am deliberately incorporating into my business, the better decisions I make, the more I show up for my people, the more I find stories that connect with them. Like I'm literally doing my best work when I'm having fun. And that is not something to be guilty about. Like, but

Celi Arias (37:30):

You know, why can I like geek out with you for a second? Yes. So that the audience knows why that actually is true.

Angie Colee (37:36):

Geek away.

Celi Arias (37:37):

So that is neurologically true. Mm-hmm. . It's not just a weird Angie phenomenon, what you're saying. Love it. So here's the thing, there's three parts of your brain. We always talk about the amygdala, the reptilian brain, and then there's the middle brain, which is your emotions. And then there's the neocortex, the c e o, the one that can be creative and logical and rational, whatever. Mm-hmm. , when you are reactionary, stressed in whatever, in your feelings, your amygdala is activated. Mm-hmm.

Angie Colee (38:06):

Celi Arias (38:07):

Or your limbic brain. Here's what people don't talk about, is that when either of those brains are activated, which is almost all the time, especially if you're overworking, you actually can't access the neocortex. Oh. Which is where rational, cognitive function, logical thinking, analytical, the ability to analyze and make decisions, you can't access that part of your brain. So what you just said to me is, for you, fun is what you do to calm down your nervous system mm-hmm. to calm down those other parts of your brain. And then you come up with better ideas. Yes. You live, what you just said is actually neuroscience.

Angie Colee (38:46):

Love it.

Celi Arias (38:47):

So for you, it's fun for me, it's, I know that I'm so, so, so heady mm-hmm. that I have to like work out, I have to do, I have to like really do like a hundred jumping. I have to like really get in my body and get outta my head to access. For some people it's breath work, because breath work actually helps minimize the amygdala. It actually helps deflate the amygdala and therefore you can access your neocortex. Mm-hmm. for you, you discovered. Oh, isn't that interesting? When I'm having more fun, which by the way means I'm relaxed, I'm in pleasure. Yes. Mm-hmm. , I'm enjoying myself. The parts of my brain that are typically reacting and feeling like I'm supposed to be doing stuff, those parts of my brain are relaxed and therefore I suddenly can access great ideas. Mm-hmm. logical, analytical ways of putting them out into the world. New offers a new way to solve a problem I couldn't solve before. Yes. What you literally said is like, one of the thing, one of the foundational tools that I teach in mindset, because I'm like, please understand that pleasure is a business strategy.

Angie Colee (39:52):

Yes.

Celi Arias (39:53):

Fun is a business strategy.

Angie Colee (39:56):

It's going to attract the right kind of people to you and repel the people like we talked about with that book chapter. It's going to repel the people that don't get it. There are plenty of people that don't understand why I would wanna drive bulldozers at a live event. They're not gonna come to my live event. That's fantastic. . But the people who went to that live event and drove bulldozers with me and spun around in a big six ton excavator because we could go. Yep. I get it. I experienced that. I think that would fun as part of my business would really?

Celi Arias (40:25):

Yeah. I think that would be really weirdly satisfying to do. It

Angie Colee (40:28):

Is. It's so much fun. It was interesting 'cause it, it just so happens that the first time I had that event called Eat, play Launch, that it was a bunch of women that showed up to Vegas with me in the desert, and we drove bulldozers and skid steers and six ton excavators and it was fun. Um, and I highly, highly endorsed this business. Dig it Las Vegas. Um, you can just rinse this out and go dig in the desert. Yes. I've

Celi Arias (40:50):

Seen, I've seen these places and my, my partner showed it to me and he's like, doesn't this look like so much fun? I was like, yeah, that it's so much fun. It's

Angie Colee (40:58):

So much. It's, and it's air conditioned and you've got these guys that are in your headset telling you what to do. Which, but like, so it's, it's very interesting. And I think that was the interesting thing to me, that it comes with a lot of like fear. Like, I don't know what I'm doing behind this machine. I don't know if it's gonna be uncomfortable. I don't know if I'm gonna break stuff. And every single person that got behind the controls of one of those machines went like, I feel so powerful now. Like, I could do anything like from driving something that hundreds of thousands of people have as a profession and don't see as anything outta the ordinary. But it was enough of a step outta the ordinary and so much fun for them that they were like, I feel like anything is possible now. Yay.

Celi Arias (41:39):

Yes. Because you are actually teaching your brain that it's safe to step into the, um, unordinary. Yes.

Angie Colee (41:47):

So then

Celi Arias (41:48):

I love that when you do things that are completely unfamiliar, you're actually teaching your brain that it's safe mm-hmm. . And so then that's why people say, I can do anything. So it's like, well, if I can do this crazy thing, I can send out some dms or voice notes and sell my program.

Angie Colee (42:03):

Yes. And that was the whole intent too, to do something out of the ordinary, maybe a little bit uncomfortable, but kind of fun and exciting and like, let's see if we can do this to just shake up our comfort level and the, the way that we rationalize, I can do this. I can't do that. Here's my constraints. Here's how. Like no, free all that up. Go dig in the dirt. .

Celi Arias (42:26):

That's brilliant. You're like literally doing neuroscience to people and they don't even know it. That's so

Angie Colee (42:32):

Good. Yeah. And I didn't even know it. It was something that I did instinctively. So I think I'm gonna have to like, study with you and study some neuroscience and understand why I'm impulsively taught to do some of these things. .

Celi Arias (42:43):

It's, it's because you, you, you, you do intuitively get it. Mm-hmm. Um, I know like when I was younger, whenever I was like deeply uncomfortable or afraid of something I knew, I was like, oh, if I'm going to grow as a person, I have to go do that thing now. Mm. I'm not one of those like cheesy, like just say yes. Like no. I knew when I had a, when I had a visceral reaction to something and a friend of mine in high school taught me this. I used to be really afraid of roller coasters. And this is where the story comes from. And we went, we skipped school one day to go to King's Island in Kentucky. That's a like theme park. Mm-hmm. . Um, and, and I was like, okay, cool. But I'm just like gonna stand in line with you, stand in line and hang on some of the rollercoasters.

Celi Arias (43:27):

I'm not, I'm not gonna ride the rollercoasters with you guys. And he was like, why not? And I was like, 'cause I don't like roller coasters. He's like, why not? Mm-hmm. . I was like, I don't, I don't like, I don't like the way it feels. He's like, why not? And I was like, I really hate, he's like, do are you scared of being upside down? I was like, no, I'm a dancer. I'm not scared of being upside down, but like the drops, I don't like how it feels in my stomach. The drops scare me. Mm.

Angie Colee (43:50):

He

Celi Arias (43:50):

Goes, great, I got something for you. Here's where we're going. And he forced me, grabbed my hand and forced me in line to do that. That ride that like just pulls you straight up. Ooh.

Angie Colee (44:02):

And you,

Celi Arias (44:04):

He was like, this is what we're doing. Just we're getting it outta the way. Mm-hmm. . He was like, we're getting it outta the way we're doing. We're facing your fear and your discomfort. First ride. First ride we did in the morning. That was the first ride we did.

Angie Colee (44:14):

Oh, that'll wake you up.

Celi Arias (44:16):

On the way up. I was cursing him so loud and then something happened when it, I didn't enjoy it. Mm-hmm. . But you get off and you go, oh, I didn't die.

Angie Colee (44:30):

Yeah.

Celi Arias (44:31):

And that thing that I hate so much and that I'm so afraid of it didn't kill me.

Angie Colee (44:35):

Yes.

Celi Arias (44:36):

And something about that was a really important life lesson for me because when I fo moving forward in my life and there's many, many, many stories where I had visceral no reactions to things. And I was like, Ooh girl. Then there's something there that we got unlock. Mm-hmm. like and, and that's why when people are like, how many lives have you lived? How many careers have you had? And I was like, well it's been a lot due to when something really feels like a no in my body. I know there's something there for me to explore. Yes. Even

Angie Colee (45:12):

It makes

Celi Arias (45:12):

Uncomfortable,

Angie Colee (45:14):

Oh, I'm such a big fan of everything that you said because I started to see several years ago that fear is a sign that we're onto something exciting. Yeah.

Celi Arias (45:23):

My my coach says, fear is a green light to your Yes. Dream life. Yes. Look at fear with your green light. That's green tunnel. If you feel fear around something, that's your green light to go. Mm-hmm. ,

Angie Colee (45:36):

I have felt the most extreme fear of my entire life. Every time I'm about to make a huge leap forward. And of course I couldn't see that until after I'd already done it. But if I felt the fear and did the thing anyway, I always had this huge breakthrough and this great success that just like, ah, wouldn't have had it. Don't let the fear stop you. It's a green light. I love that. Yeah. Oh man. I could keep ranting about this all day long, but I know we're getting close to time. Tell us all about where to learn more about you.

Celi Arias (46:03):

The easiest way is probably Instagram. Okay. Because I have a funny Latina name. So on Instagram you can find me at I am Don, which is d o n Celi, c e l i a. And there you can find my freebies and my teachings and my funny content about business and life and infertility and like all the things. 'cause I'm very open about all the things. So that's probably the easiest.

Angie Colee (46:32):

I love that. I'm gonna make sure that they have a clickable link in the show notes. I think we have to do a part two. I think we have to keep ranting about fear and all of these

Celi Arias (46:40):

Constructs. I could talk to you, I could talk to you forever. I don't know about if your audience loves it, but I could talk to you forever. So anytime

Angie Colee (46:44):

Who caress this's my show. Sorry. Sorry. Spoiler alert guys. Like I put this show on because it's the show that I needed when I was, and I hope, of course all of you listening get incredible value out of this. But if the only person who ever gets value out of this is me talking to so many interesting people, I'm fine with that. That's okay.

Speaker 3 (47:02):

,

Celi Arias (47:03):

That's amazing. Good for you. Good for you.

Angie Colee (47:06):

Alright, well thank you so much again for being on the show. I can't wait to have you back. Thank you. That's all for now. If you wanna keep that Kick Ass energy high, please take a minute to share this episode with someone that might need a high octane dose of you can do it. Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to the Permission to Kick Ass podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you stream your podcast. I'm your host, Angie Colee, and I'm here rooting for you. Thanks for listening and let's go Kick Ass some.