Angie Colee (00:02):

Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass. A podcast about leaving self-doubt in the dust, punching fear in the face and taking bold action toward your biggest dreams. I'm Angie Colee, and let's get to it. Yes. Welcome back to Permission to Kick Ass. Today I am super excited because I've got my friend JT Nelms here with me and JT, literally just a few weeks ago. Got back from climbing, Mount Kilimanjaro. Talk about kicking ass. Welcome to the show, JT!

JT Nelms (00:39):

Oh my gosh. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, that was, that was a life changing event. Uh, literally pivot point creating event. And we can certainly talk about that. Um, it's, it's, it's part of my, my future legacy and what I'm doing and all of that, but yes I did. And it was, it was fantastic.

Angie Colee (00:57):

I remember seeing you on social media, putting out the call of like, "Does anybody want to come with me?" And I was like, "Damnit! I so wanna go. Like, I just, I need somebody to watch my cat. And there's like all these logistics that just can't go right now." Cause you had to make it happen super fast, but next time you go, man, give me like a month of lead time. I'll be there with you.

JT Nelms (01:16):

I love it. And there are, there are more than you that have said that. So I'm pretty excited about that.

Angie Colee (01:23):

Awesome. So we're talking a little bit beforehand about it and you and I have talked about this over dinner before just the evolution of your business throughout the years. And I know that, uh, back in 2008, you said you used to have a gym, like an actual in-person gym. You want to tell us a little bit more about how that happened?

JT Nelms (01:43):

Yeah, so, uh, I should technically start in '06. And in '06 I started a, a boot camp in Arizona, in Prescott, Arizona, and then that went really well and because that was going so well, an opportunity popped up, gets this in Palm Beach gardens, Florida. So Arizona, Florida, a bit of a distance there, but, um, yeah, but the, the opportunity was so good that it seemed crazy not to grab it. So we hired a manager to run the bootcamp in Arizona, Alyssa and I hopped over to Florida and it was a private personal training studio. So, uh, so it had three rooms, right. It had three rooms, each room had its own equipment. So it was, it was truly private personal training and yeah, so that was the business model, uh, very, very wealthy portion of Florida. Um, you know, V PGA national was a mile away just to kind of give some context.

Angie Colee (02:50):

Wow.

JT Nelms (02:51):

Yeah. Super high end. Um, and so we were, we were doing well, we were still in the startup phase and then the economy crashed. And so, you know, during the '08-'09 period in six weeks, I wish this was an exaggeration, but it's not, uh, in six weeks we went from making low six figures on an annual basis, right. On an annual basis to losing low six figures on an annual basis in six weeks. And, um, you know, I'm, I'm someone who I'm happy to answer any question and share the story, but it's a hard story. It's a hard story. We, we ended up losing everything, including our home. And uh, and obviously the businesses that we had to let an employee go because right, we, we couldn't keep Arizona going. Um, so it was a hard time. It was a hard time. Um, where do we want to go with this?

Angie Colee (03:52):

Yeah, I got it. I mean, I know you can hear me reacting while you were telling that story because that just hurts on a visceral level to know like you're going from so much success to so much failure, but I think it's so important to share that story with people, because I know that there are tales like that, that could make you want to stop before you even get started. And I hear you in that when you started to lose money, you had to make choices just to survive. You had to let go of an employee. He had to let go of these houses. You had to figure out how to get back up on your feet. But I don't, what I love about this is that, I mean, I don't love that you've had a horrible experience. I don't like that anybody has a horrible experience. I'll state for the record here now, in case you're thinking Angie's over here, like cackling, "I love the misery. Tell me your stories." It's not the case. Um, what I love about that is that you came back from that and you wound up creating a different, but related business out of that, you want to go into that a little bit more?

JT Nelms (04:48):

Yeah. Yeah. Um, I did come back out of that. Um, I want to share, and I think we'll, I think we should dive into this because it's, it's definitively one of the biggest lessons I learned. Um, I do want to share that it took me a long time to get out of that. An abnormally long time to get out of that. And, and there are some lessons in that that I'd like to share, but to, to, to answer the question, right, we, we, we do have a business now where, where, you know, my goal, my legacy, my passion is still in the, in the arena of helping people get healthier, but not just physically anymore. So, so I'm currently, uh, finishing some final touches on some offers, but long story short, um, I prepare impact driven creators and achievers and entrepreneurs and business owners for truly growth focused bucket list adventures. And so, you know, you brought up Kilimanjaro the fact that it took me so long to recover from '08-'09, I learned some skills during that timeframe and those skills have changed my life. And those are the skills combined with what I used to do that are combining to create this new adventure.

Angie Colee (06:17):

Yeah. I mean, I think it's great that you said that. And I want to unpack that a little bit because I think at the root of this is there's this huge resistance toward failure for people, for, for anybody. I mean, that's part of being human, right? Like the unknown is scary. Uh, there's always the danger that we're going to fail massively, embarrass ourselves, wind up homeless something and, and it's paralyzing. So it keeps you stuck playing small, like kind of repeating this pattern and then wondering why it doesn't seem like anything ever changes. Well that's because that fear reaction kicks in and it keeps you safe in what, you know, even though what you know is making you miserable.

JT Nelms (06:57):

Yeah. And that is what happened.

Angie Colee (07:00):

Yeah. What you learned from putting yourself out there and chancing a failure and even failing is resiliency. Like you learn that this is not the end. My favorite analogy. I've probably used this on a couple of episodes at this point. I was like, but if you trip and fall on your face, do you lay down and wait for death?

JT Nelms (07:20):

No, no, you get back up.

Angie Colee (07:23):

Let's get super dramatic with this. Like the leaves falling down on you, a pile of snow in the winter ice crusted over with people rideover you with the bike. You're a new human speed bump that's been installed in the neighborhood. No, you don't do that. But so often in business, we think that it's like the first time we fall down, that's a sign, that's it, I'm quitting. And so I love the fact that you brought up, that it took you awhile to get your feet back under you. Like it wasn't just a, "I lost everything. And then I made one choice and I saved it." No solid, determined pursuit of faith in your ability to figure things out as you went, like solve problems on the fly as they come up and then just surviving all of that in general, teaches you a lot about what you're capable of handling, right?

JT Nelms (08:11):

Yes, yes. Definitely teaches you what you're capable of handling. And, um, you know, I'll, I'll get to this, but, but candidly, it wasn't until I got some help, some new skills that I was able to reach that point, I was able to reach that point. So let me, let me share some of the, the cringing me self, right?

Angie Colee (08:34):

Yes. Let's get into it.

JT Nelms (08:36):

Yeah. So, so gosh, we, we sent Alyssa to Arizona to replace the manager. Right. We tried everything we could think of. Um, Angie, I, I lived on the floor of my studio because we got rid of our apartment in Florida. And so we, I lived on the floor of my studio. Um, you know, of course we had early morning clients come in, so I would hide air mattresses.

Angie Colee (09:06):

Wow.

JT Nelms (09:06):

And then be ready for my clients to come in and train them. And then, and then at night, you know, last client leaves, cooking food, pulling out the air mattress, going to bed again. Right. So, so we tried so hard and I'm glad that I tried that hard, I'm proud that I tried that hard, but it actually made the, the recovery, um, harder, longer scarier because, because I did fucking everything and still air quote "failed."

Angie Colee (09:47):

Yeah. I feel you on that. I mean, I have a similar story actually at the early stages of my copywriting writing career, I have been pretty upfront about the fact that I did a brief stint living in my car. And that was, that was by choice. Like I had a period of time where I was losing my apartment. I couldn't afford to go anywhere else. Like big, expensive housing in the San Francisco Bay area. If you've ever been there, you know exactly what I'm talking about. My parents, God bless them. They love me. They were able to take me in. They both offered. They both insisted that I come home and get my feet underneath me. They would let me, they would take care of me. They'd put a roof over my head. They just wanted to make sure that I was safe and everything inside my gut was like, "Nope, don't go home. Don't go home. You're going to wait tables for the rest of your life. If you go home right now." So I actually made the choice to live in my car when I couldn't afford to survive in an apartment in San Francisco. And I had kind of a similar experience where I was like, pull up to the site, make sure I go, go into Starbucks where I have my, all my meetings. Right. We conduct business at a Starbucks, pop into the bathroom, make sure that I look very presentable, make sure you know, do a quick body check. Make sure I don't smell clothes aren't rumpled. Get out there, try to close business. And I legit had moments where like I would conduct myself like a pro inside there, close the deal, get a check, ready to start work, go out to the car, watch them leave, and then just break down crying. Cause like now I got to go find a place to shower and find a place to work and pretend like everything's okay. And I'm not feeling very okay. And I'm wondering when this is going to change, but I can't say that I'm glad for that experience because that's not quite the sentiment that I want to express, but it taught me a lot about what I'm capable of doing when I need to.

JT Nelms (11:34):

Yeah. I agree. I agree. Um, and, and you're right. You know, emotionally and, and presenting during that is tough. It is tough, but it does just that just that practice gives some resilience, give some practice in resilience. Um, I want to Angie, I want to add one more aspect to this only because I, I see a lot of entrepreneurs, right? I've, I'm in a world now where I'm surrounded by entrepreneurs and see progress and see growth and, and see struggle. And there's one layer here that, that I had never thought about before until, until I did get some help. Right. And, and here it is. Um, and Angie, this is, this is a little weird because someone could interpret this as sounding arrogant and believe me when I say this is so far from arrogance, but let me just say this. Right. So I was one of the smart kids in school and I can't be clear enough that intelligence in school is not the same as intelligence in the real world and intelligence in life, here's why I'm bringing that up.

JT Nelms (12:53):

I I've done them at this point in my life. Right. We're we're in 2008, I was born, here we go. I was born in 1973. So we're, I'm 35 years old and everything in my life- This is the part that could sound arrogant. Like, "Oof, no, no, no." Right. Everything in my life to this point had been easy. School had been easy. I grew up on a farm. And so physical activity and physical effort was easy. Uh, I've always learned well, so that was easy. I've always been very comfortable in front of people and teaching and explaining. And I'm passionate about that. I love that. So that was easy. And so here I am at 35 years old, first time in my life that I experienced a hard failure and did not have the skill set, literally did not know how to come out the other side of that.

Angie Colee (14:03):

I think that's such a great point. I'm glad that you brought that up. I don't personally get any arrogance from that. And, and I'm gonna for anybody that does, well, sorry, you're wrong. I'm going to, I'm just going to go ahead. JT is my friend and I know where his heart is and I'm going to say that, but, um, it's a skillset to know how to live through failure and come out the other side. And the only way to pick up those skills is to go through it. So that there's the irony that we spend all of our time, trying to avoid failure when just going through the failure and kind of getting it out of the way and learning those skills is actually going to do you better than resisting. Like the longer you go without any kind of significant, and I'm not saying like, go out there and crash your car and make things hard on yourself. Like, don't go seek out failure, but like open yourself up to the possibility of following this dream or this goal or taking this new job. That seems scary. And seeing what happens because you can recover as long as you got a breath in your body, you know?

JT Nelms (15:01):

Yes, yes. And when you go out and actively seek the skills required to, to change your story and to get back up again. Oh my gosh. It just accelerates everything. My life is completely different now. In a wonderful way.

Angie Colee (15:18):

Yes. And I'm so glad that you brought up skills too, because that extends to more than just failure in coping school, coping skills and being a resilient person, because that's something that you learned from going through hardship, like some of your most Zen people that you admire or you, people that I've found that have been through a heck of a lot of stuff. And it just they're imperturbable now because they know they can make it. Um, skills can be developed in just about every aspect of your life that you are scared of. Speaking on stage, giving a presentation in front of people, having a sales call, uh, saying your first big number when you're quoting a price to somebody, uh, something that feels outrageous communicating with clients, uh, when, when they're doing something that's, uh, feeling kind of iffy making you feel kind of squeamish, or if they're flat out stepping on your toes, cause they're going to do it. Humans are going to human.

Angie Colee (16:15):

That is one thing that you can count on. Uh, going into business for yourself does not mean that we are in sunshine, rainbow fun, happy lands all the time. And everybody listens to what we say. You still got to deal with humans. So, but these are all skills that you learn. So like you take one step and you realize that you have to learn how to have a hard conversation with a difficult client and figure out when it's time to walk away. Okay. Now you've learned that skill. That's a tool in your arsenal. You can use for next time. You made a financial decision on this one and it didn't pan out quite like you hoped. All right. Well, hopefully you've got an emergency fund. Cause that's one thing that I keep preaching about with like every episode. Fund your emergency fund. Yup. That's a skill.

JT Nelms (17:00):

Yes. I totally agree with you.

Angie Colee (17:03):

To learn the discipline to not touch it when it's, especially when it gets to like five figures. And you're saying, "Ooh, that's a lot of money. I could invest that in infrastructure. I could get a new computer." Don't touch it. If your arm is not falling off, if your house is not on fire, do not touch that money. I'm telling you. Side rant. Um, but-

JT Nelms (17:21):

But you're right. You can rant on cause you're right. You can rant when you're right.

Angie Colee (17:26):

That's going to be my tagline where we're developing merch on the fly with like every episode that I produce. So like "Rant if you're right. Angie Rants." Um, I liked that it's, it's a skillset and of course you're naturally going to feel really uncomfortable and really challenged when you're in a new situation and you don't have skills.

JT Nelms (17:46):

Yeah.

Angie Colee (17:47):

Oh, that's great. I'm so glad that you brought up getting help with those skills too. Cause I feel like a lot of people, I know myself when I was, I had a similar upbringing where school in my area wasn't necessarily super academically rigorous. It was more like memorizing stuff. And I happened to have a skill at memorizing stuff and I can take tests really well. Now being able to memorize and parrot back facts is not the same thing as being able to take care of yourself in the wild. So I totally agree with you that, you know, book-smart and street-smart are two wildly different.

JT Nelms (18:20):

And I want to bring that up because I think entrepreneurs, some, some entrepreneurs and perhaps many entrepreneurs belong in that category where, where they've, they have been book smart and things have been easy for them. And then all of a sudden they try something new and it's like, guess what? You know, there's a skillset that you need because Hey, business is business and not all businesses make it. Most businesses, right? Don't make it until get up, get up, get up, get up, get up again. And now, so it's that resilience.

Angie Colee (19:05):

Oh yeah. And I want to point that out too, for people that are listening. I have told my, I haven't told, well, my first business, I had to shut down. I took a job and I went in house for a while to get really good at becoming a writer so that I would be, I would have more marketable skills. When I got really good as a writer with all of that guidance in-house and that structure and having to produce consistently, you know, 40 plus hours a week. I knew, I recognized that I had a skills gap in how to run a business. And I went out and I got training for that. And then once I had the writing skills and the business skill skills, I went out again on my own. So I want to point out for everybody listening that JT and I both have failed at being business owners. And we are here telling you there is another side and there are rainbows and happy fun times here. Not all the time, but it is here. You can have it sometimes. Go for 80-20 guys, go for 80-20. If you're an 80-20, I'm happy versus pissed off then, then you're living the good life.

JT Nelms (20:08):

Yeah, there you go. There you go. So, so I, I do have, uh, I do have another, uh, normal failure that I've experienced that I see happen over and over and over in entrepreneurs.

Angie Colee (20:21):

Lay it on me.

JT Nelms (20:21):

And yeah. So, Oh my gosh. Look, somebody is, somebody has got to have said this before on your podcast, because there's no way on the first, but build it and they will come, does not work.

Angie Colee (20:37):

No. It definitely does not work.

JT Nelms (20:37):

I've tried it I've well, I've tried it more than twice, but there's two big ones that, that I've worked hard. And I mean, worked hard for a long time - graphics, copy, content, grip site. I mean done before working on a list before talking to an avatar before talking to, Oh my gosh. And, and so now the good news, good news is I was trying again.

Angie Colee (21:12):

Yes.

JT Nelms (21:13):

Right. Really the good news is I was trying again and, and put some stuff out there and actually had a, uh, you know, good test group. And that went well. But when it came time to sell, that was a different - here it comes - skill set. A different skill set. So, um, you know, I, I liked what you brought up there. So there's so many skill sets in so many different areas. Um, I, uh, so I have a fun little acronym. It's it's HAPPIness. H A P P I right. H A P P I and then ness. So health, admiration, which is relationships, right. Purpose, which is the foundation of it all profit. Yeah. I mean, impact. And I, and I believe that that true happiness comes from working on the skill sets involved in health, admiration, purpose, profit, and impact.

Angie Colee (22:17):

Yeah.

JT Nelms (22:18):

And, uh, so as I've just, I am agreeing with you with, with something you said a few minutes ago, which is, Hey, they're skill sets that need to be learned and not just learned, but sought, sought after in all kinds of areas.

Angie Colee (22:37):

And it could just be simple, like noticing, getting comfortable with noticing resistance and fear. Usually they're a sign of something that you could work on, right? It's kind of a cliche now, but I think it's absolutely true. That knowledge is power and you gain power. You gain leverage over that fear. You move yourself into action by getting knowledge and then taking action on that knowledge. So I, I think that's one area where people kind of mistake learning for skills.

Angie Colee (23:07):

You have to have, you have to have a practice component to this, to lock in the learning so that you have that as a skill that you can whip out when you need to, you can't just study courses, but go through a webinar trainings, read books, and then expect to observe this through osmosis. You still gotta go out there and put it into practice and find what works for you and what doesn't work for you. What feels natural, what doesn't feel natural and just start. One other person I spoke to on the podcast. We talked about thinking of this, like an experiment. It's all good data. Whether you technically quote unquote fail or not, it's teaching you something. And the way I see it, I know that you, and I've heard this in the circles that we roll with is you either win or you learn. And learning will eventually lead to you winning. If you take action on those lessons and you put yourself out there. So I was really glad that you mentioned, um, this concept of, if, if you build it, they will come. Well, first of all, this ain't a Kevin Costner movie.

JT Nelms (24:10):

True story. Life is not a Kevin Costner movie.

Angie Colee (24:13):

If, if, if this were a movie, I would be like Angelina Jolie. I would be in a Disney princess type of situation. Let's let's not even go there. Cause like I could just fantasize about that all day. It ain't like that guys. So you don't get to just build the thing and they will come. And I think a lot of people think that they have to build it before the people will come. And the interesting thing about businesses that you could put yourself out there and sell a thing before you've even made it. And you're totally ethically like you, if you approach it the right way, if you develop those skills to talk to people, I'm thinking about building a thing, would you be willing to invest? Think of it like a GoFundMe these days or an Indiegogo.

JT Nelms (24:56):

I love that analogy.

Angie Colee (24:58):

You're invest, you're investing something that's going to be created. You can totally sell something before you've actually built it. Of course you have to follow through and build that thing. Don't just take people's money and not deliver, but you don't have - The whole point that I'm making in all of this meandering is don't wait to get comfortable selling a thing, to make offers to people, to try and build a business until you've got the website done. You've got the web, uh, the business cards printed and I've got the logo done. And like that's just wheel spinning. True story. My very first website, because I refused to hire someone to do it for me. I took like a year to build and write this thing myself. And then I was horrified by it. I was so embarrassed by it. I wouldn't share it with anybody for like another year. So I stalled prospecting for a year while I developed this thing, when it was finally done and I didn't have any more excuses, I had to go out there and get business, or like what the point of building's website for a year, I went out and got business without sharing that embarrassing website with anybody. And that was when it was like, "Oooh, Oh, I see what happened here. I was thinking that I would get business when I built the perfect website. But what happened was I got business when I went out and I actively tried to get business. What?"

JT Nelms (26:18):

Right, right. When you actually talk to other humans and made offers and yes. Yeah, totally great. And you said, you just said something and you probably, I don't know. You probably know you did, but you just said the perfect website. That's what we all mess up with. Right. And I don't mean specific website. I'm talking about perfection. I'm talking about, we think it's got be amazing and beautiful and perfect. And it does not. I am. So I'm crazy blessed right now. Look, this is, this is a concept thing. This is not about, about what I'm getting ready to do. This is a concept thing. I, I literally have people who know what my offer is going to be waiting to give me money on something that I have not built.

Angie Colee (27:08):

Yep. Because you talk about it.

JT Nelms (27:10):

Exactly because I've talked about it. I've shared my stories about travel. I've shared my stories about, uh, specifically, you know, pivot, creating life, pivot, creating a transformative travel. And, and that I have a system for that. And, and again, the point I'm making is not about, "Hey, I'm getting ready to make this offer." It's that because I've talked about it. Because I've talked passionately about it. And I believe it. And it's like my life mission that excitement and that enthusiasm has drawn people.

Angie Colee (27:45):

And, and you've shown them what you're willing to do to make this vision. Because you taking off to Kilimanjaro, I think showed a lot of people that it wasn't just idle talking about. Like someday I want to have this bucket list business where I take people on the adventure of a lifetime. But like you had an opportunity to go on the adventure of a lifetime. And you went and then you shared every step of the way, like here's what I'm experiencing. Here's what I learned. Do you want to ask me questions? And then people got to taste this business. They got to sample it out, test it without spending any money with you whatsoever, because you went and lived the thing that you want to sell to people. Eventually they got to see it. And now they're willing to just say, JT - give me an adventure. I want to pay you for it.

JT Nelms (28:28):

Yes. Yes, literally. And, and again, I just that the, the moral of this story is about taking action, taking the action that, and you just brought it up that you want other people to take. And given an example of the outcome, giving, showing the transformation that they're going to go through and then make an offer, right. Then, then start up and get going.

Angie Colee (28:55):

Yeah. And I wanted to call attention to that distinction. I think it's important because it's one thing to just like talk about something with passion. There's a lot of passionate dreamers out there and let's face it. We all know somebody that we love very, very dearly. That's always talking about this passion project that they haven't done a damn thing with. And it's very clear that even if somebody dropped $50,000 in their lap tomorrow and said, "Hey, okay, I'm investing in your dream. Go build it." They would find some way to kind of self-sabotage because they like talking about the dream more than they liked the idea of doing the dream. And that's why I'm passionate about the word entrepreneur, because the French root of that is to do or bring about. Entrepreneurs are doers. We have big dreams and then we go out and do things to make it happen. So like, that's why I love your story because it wasn't just about connecting with people passion. Like this is what I'm building. This is what I'm dreaming about and getting people excited by the talk, because there's a lot of people that can get excited with the talk. I mean, Fyre Festival.

JT Nelms (29:54):

Good example.

Angie Colee (29:56):

But going out there and doing things, you know, like I could use this podcast as an example that I talked about doing the podcast for a long time. A lot of people have told me that I have a soothing voice, which I still think they're smoking crack or something, but whatever, uh, people like listening to me talk. So I'm just going to talk at you. Uh,

JT Nelms (30:14):

It's working, it's working, you're doing well.

Angie Colee (30:17):

I talked about it for a really long time. And then it kinda got to a point where I either had to do something about it or stop talking about it. And so I, I took a podcasting workshop and I learned those skills because you know, I'm going to start a podcast. I'm really overwhelmed. Where do I even start? I'm going to shut down. No, I'm going to take a podcast workshop. They're going to teach me how to do this. Okay. Now I got through it and I know how to do the recording pretty well. I've got the equipment. Hell. I mean, you've seen me. I traveled on the road and do podcasts. It's amazing how I learned that when I invest in the skills, then I start to understand where I have additional gaps, like, okay, I learned a little bit of audio editing, but I just don't give a damn enough to get good or efficient at this. Who can I hire to help me with this? Have an amazing audio guy now. Like just reached out, asked people said, I need help with this. This is, this is something that's slowing me down from putting this podcast out. I need help with audio edits. Found a guy. All I have to do is send him audio and he sends it back and I'm like, I love you. You're a genius. You make me sound amazing. And then I, I recently had that with graphics on putting up the podcast too. Cause people had, people have noticed that I haven't been updating my sites with new podcast episodes, even though I've been putting podcast episodes out. And it was because I didn't have the graphic image for each episode. So I just, yeah. So like, okay, people are noticing that I'm publishing content, but I'm not updating my site. Guess I got to figure that piece of it out. Now, I literally got the quote back today from a lady who wants to help me with graphics and the graphics that she created for me are so -, they're amazing. I'm so excited. You're going to get one with your head shot. Ha!

JT Nelms (32:04):

Uh, you know, that's, that's exciting because you've just brought up really, uh, a twist on skill set and that is hired skill set.

Angie Colee (32:17):

You don't have to be the master of everything.

JT Nelms (32:19):

Exactly. Exactly.

Angie Colee (32:22):

This is not a one woman show. This podcast here that is put on by Angie Colee has a whole team of people running in the background. And trust me when I say it's not a team because I am a millionaire and I can afford, I have budgets. I have certain things I'm willing to spend on and certain things that I'm not, but I'm willing to buy back my time so that I don't have to sit at editing, editing software and figure out all of that. I really want to engage with my guests, email with them back and forth. I don't want to deal with the graphics or the audio. So that's what I'm willing to spend on. Do I outsource the entire production of this and spend thousands of dollars. No. We're not there yet.

JT Nelms (32:58):

Right? Right. But you work in your zone of genius and your zone of genius is interaction with other people. And of course copy. Right.

Angie Colee (33:07):

But I'm very good at writing the things.

JT Nelms (33:11):

But so, so you're making a wise decision to hire the skill set and, and I, and I love that you bring up the budget, the budget's real. The budget's real. Right? So, so find that zone of genius. What can I afford to hire skill set? I love that.

Angie Colee (33:34):

And then look at hiring skill set, not as, what is this going to cost me, but what is this? How much time are you getting to buy back to where you can spend? Because look, I'll be honest. Eventually I would love to get this podcast to the point where I just show up and I talk to people and then episodes happen. Magic. It's somehow gets on the internet and everybody hears about it and they love it. Um, I am not that My Favorite Murder podcast yet. We're not going to talk about murders here, but I will be that popular someday. A girl can dream, right? Uh, that's a goal that I want to work toward. It may happen. It may not, but I I've identified what I really love about this. What really lights me up and what I will, I would spend every day unpaid working on if I could.

Angie Colee (34:20):

And, Oh, I'm so glad that that thought popped into my head because that's what I really love about entrepreneurship too, is like, if you wind up in the right intersection of what you're really passionate about and what you're good at and what people will pay you for. Ooh, then you just get to spend your time working in your happy place. And it gets really, really good. I'm not saying that it's without its challenges and you won't have any struggles, but man, imagine how much resiliency to bring it back around to the beginning you have when you don't spend most of your time in a place of crisis and panic and stress. When you actually get to recharge by working in your happy place, by bringing your dream to life.

JT Nelms (35:07):

Yeah, no that's Oh, I love what you just said. "Recharged by working." Now, now just those three words people would be like, what did you just say? But you said recharged by working in your happy place. That's awesome. When, what you love to do creates income and actually gives you energy. Like that's the, for me, that's freedom. That's, that's the bucket list for me. That's amazing. I like that.

Angie Colee (35:36):

There's a way to do it or a way to at least get close for everybody out there. So like not everybody's going to be the, the guru or like a Tony Robbins type or an Oprah type. I keep making jokes about I'm going to be Oprah's Favorite Thing with my book or my podcast or both. We're going to manifest the shit out of this, guys. Let's make it happen. Oprah coming for you. Um, I may or may not get to Oprah levels. I'm cool. I'm doing the work. I'm fine. Whatever this winds up being. I'm happy doing the work. And that's important.

JT Nelms (36:09):

Ooh. So Angie, I want to, I want to bring something up here and if this is an issue, speak freely. Okay. But here's the deal. Here's the deal? You know, you just brought up, uh, people like Oprah, people like Tony Robbins, amazing, beautiful, successful people. One of the things that has changed my life and is one of the lessons I've learned along this journey is, is certainly not to lower your expectations, but when your priority and perspectives get redefined, as, as strange as this is going to sound, you don't have to reach Oprah level. You don't have to reach Tony Robbins level and you are just as genuinely authentically filled with joy as they are.

Angie Colee (37:07):

I'm so glad you brought that up. Cause like I was ranting about that on a coaching call and I didn't make the connection until I just heard you say it. I was telling somebody like, I don't want to be number one. It's too much work to be number one. And then as soon as you get to number one, someone's gunning for you to try and knock you off the pedestal. Like who wants to work that hard? I'm fine. Being in the top 5%. It was a pretty good living right there. Again, I don't have to work as hard as number one.

JT Nelms (37:30):

Right. So, so let me give you a super fast example. So people are going to hear, look, I'm comfortable with this. Some people are going to hear this and think what in the world did that guy just say, okay, so, so let me just throw this out there. Um, my wife and I have been to just over 20 different countries and combined with some time that we spent as contractors, um, in a war zone, uh, living in a 10 by 20 foot metal box. Here's, here's the ultimate kind of lesson that I want to share. That explains what I mean by redefining perspective. So here's the super, super short version. Three of the first five years of our marriage, we lived in a 10 by 20 foot metal box in the war zone. Now we had air conditioning. We had a place to go to the bathroom. We had food, we had jobs, right? We were fine, but we learned to live super small, super small place. Right. Then we started visiting other countries and we specifically started gravitating towards developing countries. Some people ask what I mean when I say that, and I'm just going to be candid. I'm talking about poor, financially unstable countries who perhaps don't have infrastructure, perhaps don't have full education systems because their children literally have to work to survive. Right. So that's what I mean by developing country. And when you go to these countries and you see these other cultures and you see the contrast there and you see that they are genuinely incredibly happy? It that's what I mean by redefining perspective and redefining priority. So here's how that has, has, I guess manifested how it is lived out on a daily basis in our life. This'll wrap up the point of this, right?

JT Nelms (39:31):

My, my wife is a travel nurse. And so that means every three, six or nine months we go and we, we head to a new location. We head to a new contract. Now we rent furnished places, right? I mean, let me be clear. We, we rent furnished places. We have a bed and we, you know, couch, kitchen, you know, all the, all the things, but I can tell you every time it's small and we are able here's, here's what people are going to hear and be like what? We moved, everything we have from one contract to another, in one Jeep, one vehicle.

Angie Colee (40:11):

Yep.

JT Nelms (40:11):

All of our, all of our possessions that we live with fit in a Jeep. And we are incredibly genuinely joyful with, with our existence, with our life, with, with our relationship, with, uh, with what we do. And, and that can only come, from having a redefined perspective and a redefined priority on what's truly important. And so I just, I just wanted to give that example of I'm all, like I said, I don't want anybody to settle, but it's not settling when it's a complete redefinition. When it's completely new perspective and outlook. Does that make sense?

Angie Colee (41:07):

No, it's I totally makes sense because I, like I ask people what, when I'm, when I'm coaching them, what is the end goal here? Like, what is, what is the end game for building a business? Is it because you want to make a million dollars? That's fine. Yeah. That's a great goal. There's a lot of people aiming for that goal. I'm aiming for that goal myself. Do you want to make enough to buy a cabin out in the woods and then like go off the grid for the rest of eternity? That's an admirable goal too. There are probably some people out there that want to do that. Do you want to make enough, do you want to work for six months out of the year and make enough to finance the next six months before you have to go back to work again, that's a valid business model, too. Like learning what matters to you. You don't have to chase the Lambo's or the mansions. I was glad that you told that story too, because that's something that we have in common is that we travel. And as you and I are recording this episode, I'm currently in Memphis. This like the third stop on my Epic 2021 road trip. Uh, this weekend, I head out for Nashville and I'm the same situation. Like I've, I'm starting to unpack. After we get off this recording today, I'll be packing down my computer stuff. I'll be working on only my laptop for the next two days, break down all my stuff, go get my car, cleaned out, then pack it up on Friday, leave Saturday morning, and it'll be done. Everything I own fits in my car. And I thought that I would have such an adverse reaction to just letting go of all the stuff in my life.

Angie Colee (42:31):

When I walked away, when my ex partner and I broke up and I like, I left him all the furniture. I walked away from the house. I did all that, but it was so freeing. I don't have stuff in storage tying me back to that place. I don't have more than I need with me on the route at any given time. Like I have more than enough with me to comfortably live in six in a place for six weeks at a time without wanting for anything. And I get to spend my money supporting the local economy, which has brought me a great amount of joy, especially as we're starting to, you know, people getting vaccinated and they're starting to come back out and be humans again. Uh, it's been really important to me, especially as I was in New Orleans, an area are hard hit by the Pandemic. Uh, as I've been here in Memphis, just going out to local mom and pop shops and sitting and talking to restaurant owners and other dreamers and doers and having a grand old time. Like this has meant more to me than I imagined even making a million dollars would at this point. I still have that goal, but this is, this is the meaning that I get.

JT Nelms (43:38):

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and, you know, I brought up that happiness acronym, health, admiration, purpose, purpose, purpose, purpose, right. And then profit and impact. And when, when you can, when you can live according to your purpose, which is really what we're talking about here in business, and, and you can do, and to be fair, you can do that profitably and fulfill the basic human desire to have impact right. To contribute. What everything else, let me, I'm not going to ask, what else could you want? I'm going to say everything else is a bonus.

Angie Colee (44:24):

Yep. Everything else is a bonus. Everything else is fantastic. When you can-, Exactly, like you said, when you reset those expectations and you know what you're actually aiming for, you know, when you hit it too.

JT Nelms (44:36):

Yeah, yeah. You know, when you hit it and it brings you genuine, pure, overwhelming ecstasy is going to be too strong of a word.

Angie Colee (44:47):

But I kind of love it.

JT Nelms (44:48):

But really, really when that's with, when your perspective around everything in your life, including business has, has been redefined. Gosh it takes a whole lot of pressure off.

Angie Colee (45:05):

It really does. And it takes a lot of the fear out too. I don't have to be the best.

JT Nelms (45:10):

No, no, you, you look, I, you know, I've shared with you this philosophy, there are 7 billion people in the world. And I believe with everything in me that all 7 billion of them are better than me at something.

Angie Colee (45:27):

Yep.

JT Nelms (45:27):

And I believe that I have something to offer all 7 billion. Right. So, so why the need for number one? Why the need for number one? Um, uh, again, gosh, I can't, I can't make this clear enough. I'm not saying anybody to reduce their dream.

Angie Colee (45:50):

If your dream is number one, I support you in that dream.

JT Nelms (45:54):

Me too, with everything in me, I'm like, go, go, go, go. Um, but, but for right now, if you want to reduce some stress and you want to experience some genuine joy, consider redefining perspective, or even better seek other perspectives like people can do by listening to your podcasts. And I mean that, right. You're literally bringing up as your, as your people, as your people come on board and they shared their story and their perspectives. It's literally an opportunity to seek a perspective that can redefine what brings you joy.

Angie Colee (46:38):

Yeah, totally. I've had my assumptions and theories lovingly challenged. I like to call it a loving ass kicking. But by, by people that cared enough about me to point out another perspective and not in a way to say like, "Angie, you're wrong, come here, you dumb ass. Let me show you what's up." It was usually in a way of like, have you thought about it from this perspective? And that that always changed my life when people were like, there might be another angle here that you're not seeing. Have you considered that? If you've got someone in your life that loves you enough to say that to you, even if they know it might make it fly off the handle, totally pointing at me on that because Angie was a rage monster once upon a time. Still gets pretty passionate and fired up about stuff. So it's a crap shoot. If you tell me, if you give me some constructive feedback, if I'm going to be like, I don't want to listen to that go away or you're right. Okay. You got a point, but if you've got somebody in your life that loves you enough to challenge your assumptions like that and present you with another perspective, keep that person in your life. They will help you do your best to show them different perspective too. And just like reflect love back at each other. So you can both grow

JT Nelms (47:49):

Yeah. Yeah. And I love what you said. It's not that you're doing something wrong or you're being wrong. It's just a different perspective to consider. To consider. Right. Um, I want to, if it's okay, I'd like to share one more aspect of, of the failure of 08-09.

Angie Colee (48:13):

Yes. Give it to me. Let's do this.

JT Nelms (48:15):

So yeah. So, um, Angie, it took 10 years and, and I'm, I'm not proud of that. And, and that 10 years had ramifications on many aspects of my life and to include health and admiration and profit and impact and lost my purpose. And, and I lost my happiness for 10 years. And, um, I don't want anyone else to make that mistake. So if, if it's okay with you, because I have a, you know, I don't know what your show notes are gonna say for this

Angie Colee (48:54):

I don't know what they're going to say yet either.

JT Nelms (48:56):

I actually have no problem with you, you know, saying, "Hey, here's a guy who spent 10 years floundering," and then, right, because there's going to people, be people listening to the podcast who could be in a really tough situation at the time. And they're searching. So with your permission, what I'd like to share with people is, is the name of two books. And both of these books are science based, right? In other words, we're talking like law here, and I'm not exaggerating. When I say that we're talking, we're talking to law here. This is how the brain works. And the first one's called "Changing for Good." And "Changing for Good" is about the six stages that people go through to change. Again, this isn't, this is the law. These are the six stages that people go through. So again, that book is called "Changing for Good", the lead author on that is James Prochaska.

JT Nelms (49:59):

And then the second book is "How to Change." So there's stages of change, but then there's how to change. And it really all comes down to the story you're telling yourself over and over and over again. And there is a again scientific process of, of transformational mindset change. And that book is called "The Power of Story." And it's called "The Power of Story" from Jim Loehr. And that last name is L O E H R. Okay. Jim Loehr. Those few books literally give the science of, of change. From beginning to end. And I would just, after I found a coach who had spent, and, and just to be clear, right. Had spent 40 years or has, has spent 40 years teaching these concepts that says something to me. Right. That's 40 years. That says something to me. So whenI found, when I found a coach who taught me the stages of change and then how to change, my life changed, period. Period.

Angie Colee (51:22):

What got you here is not what will get you there. You have to be willing to do something different if you want a different result. Like, I, it just, I get stuck in that pattern too, like doing the same thing that feels comfortable and wanting it to change desperately, but just not being willing to do the different than not being willing to do the change. And I remember Todd, I love that you brought up the story and you're showing me these copies and they're like falling apart. You've clearly loved these books and gotten some good use out of them. Uh, I remember once where I was kind of wallowing, if you will, in a fear about something I was going to do, I don't even remember what I was going to do. That shows you how important the fear, like how blown out of proportion the fear can get sometimes.

Angie Colee (52:03):

But I remember this person saying, "is that a true story? Or is that a you story?" And I was something in me, just, it resonated down to my soul when I said that. I said "Could you clarify what you mean by that a little bit? And this is that the truth, the universal truth, or is that a story that you've told yourself or that has been taught to you from someone in your life?" You know, maybe that you admire, but, but it's not necessarily true. And that was when I picked up on the power of story. Cause we're all getting stories all the time from people that we love from movies and TV. How you're supposed to look, how you're supposed to act. And these stories are informing the choices that you make and contributing a little bit to the fear or the stuckness or the, the failure aversion, uh, the, the skills that you are afraid to learn, maybe, uh, yeah. Is that a true story or is that a you story?

JT Nelms (53:00):

You learn skills, right? I mean like afraid to learn skills. Why? It doesn't make sense, but, but there's an underlying story there that's clearly not true. I mean, if you to remove all emotion out of it, fear to learn skill makes no sense. Right. Makes no sense. So there's gotta be an underlining underlying story there that's not true.

Angie Colee (53:27):

Yup.

JT Nelms (53:27):

So, go through the power of story, the eight sequences and, and write a new story.

Angie Colee (53:37):

Write a new story. I love that we can all write a new story if you don't like the direction that the last chapter went close, that chapter start a new one. Let's go we're in this together. JT, this has been amazing. I, I knew when we got on the phone that we were going to go like all over the place and meander, but those are the best conversations in my mindset, so, okay. I'm going to make sure that they have the books in the show notes, but tell us where to find out more about you.

JT Nelms (54:06):

Yeah. Thank you. Um, J T nelms.com, jtnelm,s.com. And again, I'm a literally want to take creators, achievers, entrepreneurs, business owners on, on life changing bucket list adventures. So if, if you have any interest in that, come see me and-

Angie Colee (54:28):

And you'll be with me and JT, uh, climbing mountains, jumping off a mountain, something, something with mountains.

JT Nelms (54:34):

Yeah, for sure. And until then, keep listening to this podcast. And I mean that because, well, you got to understand, I mean that with everything in me, because I am literally right. My life changed because of perspective change. And you are providing that opportunity with your podcast. I mean that with everything in me. So people need to keep listening because you're interviewing people with different perspectives. You have a passion for different perspectives and how that can influence their business. And I just think people need to keep listening. So thank you

Angie Colee (55:13):

One good idea can change at all. I got to go before I start crying on this. Thank you so much for being on the show. I'm going to have you again. Thanks, JT.

JT Nelms (55:20):

Thank you so much, Angie.

Angie Colee (55:25):

So that is it. Another awesome episode of Permission to Kick Ass on the books. If you want to know more about the show or if you want to know more about me, Angie Colee and the mission I'm on to help entrepreneurs punch fear in the face and do big bold things, then head on over to permissiontokickass.com. That is all one word together, permissiontokickass.com. Make sure to sign up for my email list so that you know whenever there's a hot, fresh and ready podcast episode out for you. And also on Mondays, I like to send out a little newsletter called Kick Monday's Ass. I'm sure you're totally, totally surprised by that. So thank you for being here with me today. I'm Angie Colee. Make sure that you share this with a friend that needs to hear this message today. Like it, share it. Comment wherever you're listening to this today and let's go kick some ass.