Diva Diaz joins us today FROM A CASTLE to talk about carving out your own path. I'm still in awe of how ranty we both got about false narratives perpetuated by all the gurus... because the energy throughout this whole convo is so calming. Diva shared brilliant insights on how to keep moving forward through overwhelm, strong feelings, and all the fits and starts that we face.
Can't-Miss Moments from This Episode:
This one will blow your mind wide open and introduce you to all kinds of possibilities. Listen now!
Diva's bio:
Diva Diaz is a global speaker and facilitator of Access Consciousness classes and seminars that consist of a pragmatic set of tools and perspectives that allow you to change what isn't working for you. Having held several positions in economic media and business intelligence opened her view of global business and piqued a curiosity about the brilliant minds behind some of the most innovative solutions in the marketplace today. Her interest in X-Men began when she came across Access Consciousness and realized that so much of what she had thought was wrong with her, was a capacity. Learn more by visiting, https://divadiaz.com.
Resources and links mentioned:
Let's collab:
Let's connect:
I find a lot of my guests via PodMatch. If you join via my link, I may get a small commission.
If you dig the show and want to help bring more episodes to the world, consider buying a coffee for the production team!
Diva Diaz joins us today FROM A CASTLE to talk about carving out your own path. I'm still in awe of how ranty we both got about false narratives perpetuated by all the gurus... because the energy throughout this whole convo is so calming. Diva shared brilliant insights on how to keep moving forward through overwhelm, strong feelings, and all the fits and starts that we face.
Can't-Miss Moments from This Episode:
This one will blow your mind wide open and introduce you to all kinds of possibilities. Listen now!
Diva's bio:
Diva Diaz is a global speaker and facilitator of Access Consciousness classes and seminars that consist of a pragmatic set of tools and perspectives that allow you to change what isn't working for you. Having held several positions in economic media and business intelligence opened her view of global business and piqued a curiosity about the brilliant minds behind some of the most innovative solutions in the marketplace today. Her interest in X-Men began when she came across Access Consciousness and realized that so much of what she had thought was wrong with her, was a capacity. Learn more by visiting, https://divadiaz.com.
Resources and links mentioned:
Let's collab:
Let's connect:
I find a lot of my guests via PodMatch. If you join via my link, I may get a small commission.
If you dig the show and want to help bring more episodes to the world, consider buying a coffee for the production team!
Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show that gives you a virtual seat at the bar for the real conversations that happen between entrepreneurs. I'm interviewing all kinds of business owners, from those just a few years into freelancing to CEOs helming nine figure companies. If you've ever worried that everyone else just seems to get it and you're missing something or messing things up, this show is for you. I'm your host, angie Coley, and let's get to it. Hey and welcome back to Permission to Kick Ass With me today is my new friend, diva Diaz. Say hi, hi, angie, I'm excited for this one. Well, first of all, we're showing up with the great curly hair like the matchy-matchy. That makes me happy. Second, we tried so hard to get this date on the calendar because Diva's in Italy Tell me more about Italy.
Diva Diaz:I am. I'm in Italy and I'm usually traveling a lot, but I have the immense pleasure of managing a luxury boutique castle hotel. That's where I am right now in Italy. Oh my gosh.
Angie Colee:Sorry, I didn't mean to get all shrieky on you, but that's the kind of stuff I love. I was literally just looking at my Facebook memories earlier. I think it was like four years ago I went to Disney World with two of my best friends dressed as the evil queen, like I'm real into the castle stuff.
Diva Diaz:Oh, I hear you 100%. Well, that's awesome. Tell us a little bit more about what you do so here. I mean, yeah, I managed to be in this incredible location, which is like a thousand-year-old castle. It is filled with original antiques, it is gorgeous and lush, and I get to really be very creative with my day-to-day on top of other businesses that I do, so it really is just super fun and a very nurturing space.
Angie Colee:What about the? What other businesses do you do? Tell me a little bit more about that, I'm curious.
Diva Diaz:Yeah, well, I think one of my main businesses is in self-development. If you like, I use a technique called access consciousness and it's really all about empowering people to know what they know and to not have to kind of follow everyone else's answers, if you like. It's kind of really strengthening that muscle of self-trust, and I kind of really always had a lot of focus on people who are neurodiverse. So I apply those tools in this area, which to me, is a personal interest, and, yeah, I get to enjoy seeing people improve their lives.
Angie Colee:That's incredible. I don't know much about access consciousness, but I know that I've heard about that before. Can you go a little deeper?
Diva Diaz:into that? Yeah, absolutely so it's basically. I remember somebody asked me this when I started about 14 years ago and they're like what is it?
Diva Diaz:And the thing that I said at the time, which I just remembered again the other day, was it's there's no head office, there's like nothing to follow, there's no one to follow, but it's like a collection of tools and processes and questions that, when you apply them to your lifestyle, just make things easier. I often describe it in the way that if you like yoga, you might do yoga a lot one month and then the next month not so much, and then sometimes you might use it for a specific target and other times you just do it for general maintenance or fun. So to me it's something really similar that, using these tools, you get to just play and have more of what works for you.
Angie Colee:Oh, I love that, and I love something that you mentioned too about kind of I don't know if this is accurate entirely, but I love this philosophy of you. Already have the answers, yeah, because I don't know if you've encountered this in your flavor of entrepreneurship, especially with the multiple businesses, but there tends to be this idea of like I can't succeed or I'm limited or I'm capped until I learn this strategy or I try that funnel, or I try that tactic, or I meet with that consultant. It's like it always feels like there's more and more and there's always a book to read or a launch to follow or a conference to attend or something like that. Would you say that this is helpful in filtering out all of that and going, yes, this is the right path, or am I totally off base?
Diva Diaz:No, you're 100% correct, and I think your use of the world, of filtering through all of that was just genius, because that's exactly what it is. There's so much information. I mean, I tried a lot of self development techniques and different modalities before coming across this, because I used to work in the corporate world and I was always so stressed, but very capable but also not stressed at the same time. It was like so many different things a lot of worry, a lot of anxiety, a lot of high achieving perfectionism, and then I was thinking well, when do I get to be happy? When do I get to be happy?
Angie Colee:I'm writing that. That is such a poignant question that I'm writing that down and I'm circling it. When do I get to be happy? Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head with something that so many of us freak out about both an entrepreneurship and an employee and life. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. Please continue.
Diva Diaz:No, no, please, absolutely. And I mean the thing is, with what you were saying about, there's so many different things out there. There's always another book, another technique. I was just overwhelmed, to be honest, and it felt like anything that I did was never going to be good enough, because then there'd be something else. But it was always something else that was following what someone else had done. So of course it worked for them, because they're them and I know that sounds super cheesy, but I could never get those things to work for me in that same way or to that same level of success, which then further added to my already existing self-doubt of I'm probably not quite good enough. So they probably need another 10 books, another five courses, and you know.
Angie Colee:That is such like a self-fulfilling little. The word that came to mind is circle jerk. So I'm just going to say it. That happens a lot, especially in marketing circles, where it's like, well, you won't be successful until you have this one tactic. When you try this one tactic and it doesn't work for you for a variety of reasons. But then that doubt or sometimes it's the messaging which really bothers me kicks in and says well, you did it wrong, something is messed up. Without that acknowledgement of maybe it didn't work for you, maybe it doesn't work for this industry, maybe the timing was wrong, maybe any number of things as to why this didn't work is not your fault, that shit happens, and it drives me nuts when we feel like it's our fault, we're doing something wrong, just because something didn't work.
Diva Diaz:Maybe but maybe not. Yeah, absolutely, and I think part of this that has been so empowering is that before, to be honest, I wasn't really empowered. I was just given answers. And I'm not saying that anything wrong with other things I've tried before but the way that I was doing it or what I was looking for, I was looking for somebody to give me the answer. If I'm completely honest with myself, like, how do I become successful in this? What are the three things I need to do? To blah, blah, blah.
Diva Diaz:But that's not really empowering, because you're always looking outside of you and as an entrepreneur, that goes entirely against the fiber of your being, because otherwise you wouldn't be an entrepreneur, and so it was like this complete conflict in my mind the whole time, whereas with these tools it suddenly puts everything back on me. So back on you asking yourself the questions, which, of course, sometimes isn't comfortable because you're like someone just give me the answer, damn it. But then at the same time, it really nurtures that entrepreneurial part of your mind and creativity. That was what you started in the first place.
Angie Colee:I think that's the beauty of this, that we kind of learn to live in the uncertainty and that if you start to feel a little bit too comfortable, that might be a sign to pay attention to, to get back into that space of I don't want to say that you're purposefully making yourself uncomfortable or putting yourself in discomfort, but like if you're coasting. That's a completely different story from what you're trying to build and maybe a sign that, yeah, you got a little bit too comfortable. We need to get back into this shake things up and I'm not saying to shake things up just for the sake of shaking things up, but you articulated it in such a way that I don't think I've heard anybody else say, which is that you're like directly calling out the dichotomy of I'm an entrepreneur and I'm responsible for what happens. Right, there was a great I don't know if you've ever seen the show Working Moms, but there was a quote that the husband said to the wife when she was her agency was failing and she was really scared and he looked at her and he said nobody's coming to save you.
Angie Colee:And it was just like heart drop into your stomach kind of moment. And then she took that and went right. Nobody's coming to save, it's up to me. Ooh, I get to do stuff right, like if you can get past that stomach dropping moment of nobody's coming to save you. Nobody has the answers for you, nobody can tell you how to do you and find success in your particular way, with your offer and your people. What do you get to do with all of that? Oh, it's an incredible freedom and power, even if it's a bit terrifying.
Diva Diaz:Exactly, and that's the beauty of it and that's, I think, to me that's always been my. It's just my way of functioning. You know, which I think I see in a lot of entrepreneurial friends as well where maybe you grew up and there wasn't anyone that was going to save you, so you just have to start. I don't know if it's like a switch in your brain or your bomb with that creativity or what, but you just have to start functioning from a different way, which is exactly what you're saying Like. All right, so then I get to do this. So now, what do I want to create here?
Angie Colee:You get to try things and you get to experiment. I think we put a whole lot of pressure on ourselves to figure out. There's a quote, unquote, right answer to minimize the risk of any given decision or any given route that we're trying to take, and I understand that from a business perspective, we always are looking to minimize our risk, minimize our exposure however we can. That's just smart business. And also sometimes you just got to try shit and see what happens because your soul said to do it and it doesn't make any sense to anybody else around you.
Diva Diaz:But that's how innovation happens 100%, and also, if you look at it, all of these different systems that we're looking to follow, or techniques. That's how that happened for them, because it was the first time they were doing it most of the time, and then everyone tries to jump on board and copy the same thing and it's now turned into something else.
Angie Colee:Yes.
Angie Colee:We were talking about that in a random marketing group the other day when somebody was talking about like saturation points and when everybody's doing the same thing and I was like we got to be careful. My industry is direct response marketing. It's like sales writing. Like we got to be careful to assume that just because we see a lot of other direct response marketers doing this tactic, that everybody in the world is doing it. Those two things are not equal. You just can't assume that everybody in business is doing this now because it's the hot new tactic and actually my last guest said this perfectly like we zig when there's other zag. So if everybody is following this shiny new trend over here, bet your ass Angie is going to be over here in the corner going what can I do that? Is not that something else Exactly?
Diva Diaz:Exactly and I love that you asked that to Angie, because I think that's one of the key things, which is asking a question like what can I do? That's different in this and that's to me. The times where I've had less success or failed or just might be kind of depressed the life and business has been because I've stopped asking those questions. At some point I thought that it was better to follow somebody else or, ok, fine, I will find the focus, my ADHD brain, and do this in order and be linear, and by the end of it I'm not linear, I'm just depressed because I've stopped asking those questions that actually nurtured my natural way of being.
Angie Colee:Yes, I love that you brought that up, like neurodiversity, adhd, thinking the way you think, versus trying to adopt somebody else's process. But big fan, like I said, of experimenting, you get to try different things. I'm not opposed to trying somebody's method. In fact one of my mentors put it to me in a very interesting way when I was having a big moment of doubt. It was like I had failed at my first freelance attempt at writing. I'm about to leave this cushy corporate gig and try the second time and of course all of the old fears are popping up.
Angie Colee:And he goes I can see around this corner. I know it's a blind corner for you and you can't see what's coming. So this is the part where you just trust and you try things and we see what happens. So I don't know what else to tell you other than that You've got to try it and you've got to trust. So I don't know entirely where I'm going with that, but I do think it's great that we can open, especially the neurodiverse people of us. We open ourselves to different paths and different ways of thinking, just got to be cognizant of. Am I doing this because I don't have faith in myself and I think somebody else knows better, or because I'm genuinely like you know what, I don't really know what to do next, and that one sounds good. Let's try it. It's totally different energies.
Diva Diaz:Absolutely or even am I not doing this because I don't have faith in myself, because of everything that I've read and learned that has told me that if I don't follow this linear path in a way of doing things then I'm going to be wrong, when actually all of that stuff was written for the majority and not the minority who are neurodivergent.
Angie Colee:Yes, and the interesting thing about the marketing background that I come from I'm like you know what stood out to me was how simple this stuff can be if you let it be. I'm fortunate that the name of this show has a really good name, like permission to kick ass. That's not just me puffing myself up, this is a really good name, and that one I got from my mentor. I talk about it a little bit in my book, but it can be simple. It can be permission to kick ass. I work with entrepreneurs to kick ass. It can be having an awesome name like Diva oh my gosh, shout that out to the rooftops. I get to be the diva and lean into that branding.
Angie Colee:If that's what strikes you, it doesn't have to be this overblown, super complicated shit that we've made it out to be, where we're creating funnels on top of funnels and evergreen and automation and Facebook ads in front of tripwire. And yeah, these things were created so people could sell their products to you. You don't necessarily need probably 80% or more of these things to make an incredible business for yourself. I know people out there running multimillion dollar businesses that don't even have a freaking website, so don't tell me that you need something to make it work.
Diva Diaz:Like, don't buy into that bullshit 100% and there are some things that you can't sell as well. I mean, I remember when I started access consciousness and you know I also work for the company and I remember speaking with the founder and he's like everyone tries to sell this. You can't sell it because you can't sell Empowerment. Really you can't sell like people becoming more self aware and having more ease in their lives. He's like stop selling this, just tell people that you know if they ask you a question and that's it. I change my perspective so much on how to build a business because the way that access consciousness has been built, it has really just been word of mouth and people seeing what are you doing? That's different to be working more than what I'm doing, and that's exactly what I did when I found it as well, and it's nice to be able to deliver that and not feel like I've got to do this in the way that everyone else does it.
Angie Colee:I love that conversation. What is working for you? That is something that we don't talk about enough. In business circles like it's, it's easy to see the new class coming out, the new course, the new book, the big launch that's happening, and think that that is what. What Is what's really working? And then you actually talk to your friends and here, like I, come from the launch world in the background. The reality is that 90% of my friends and colleagues who have businesses don't use launches and that's fine. It works for the people who use the big internet marketing launch is. It doesn't work for the people that don't use it. Like that's just the way it is, it's fine. What do you ask your friends? What have you tried? What's been working for you? It could be a hell of a lot simpler.
Diva Diaz:Then it sounds on the surface of your paying attention to the noise yeah, exactly, and even that in person engagement that you're talking about, like, have you asked your friends?
Diva Diaz:I think, going back to that simplicity, it's like, at the end of the day, where all people and I think that we can sometimes, you know, not not everyone, but it can be easy to be swept away into this machine of production and Numbers and if your business is a bit different and you're not selling I don't know thank you, cleaners, like something that can be counted and that is, you know, kind of set in what the product is.
Diva Diaz:But if you are selling something different or offering a different service, it's super difficult, you know. So Is super difficult if you don't have that personal interaction added in, where you're having those actual conversations with real people, like you're saying what actually works for you or what would you like to see, or does it even seem helpful to you, is it even interesting, is this relevant To get that feedback and I think so much of that can be lost. You know, with a lot of the marketing that we do online not to say that it's bad, I do a lot of stuff on my, obviously, but hopefully based on a different foundation, of having more personal interaction with people. That then allows me to create the content.
Angie Colee:There was something that you said that I thought was brilliant that I wanted to circle back and highlight I start this in like circle to the couple of times this idea of being helpful versus selling. That's another thing that I think changes the energy, changes the power dynamic, kind of remove some of the unconscious it could that might come through in the messaging. So I told folks that I've coached their building freelance businesses, especially when they are doing client work, as a way to get them self established. No one client, no one project, and by that I mean you don't need any one client or any one project. So disabuse yourself of that notion, forbid that from your, from your vocabulary and remove that desperation energy. That's just like Roiling below the surface from when you go into a client meeting because you may never say anything, but your behaviors, the way that you act, the offers that you make, the strategies that you put forth are all going to come from that place of coming out.
Angie Colee:I really need this to work and that's a reactive, very defensive energy versus an open, let's see what ideas, enthusiastic, approach, totally different energy. So being helpful like how I see that, playing into this is like if you're going to something with the goal of selling somebody. You're not necessarily In that space of how do I help this person. Can I even help this person? If you go into a discussion with somebody, if can I help, how can I help? Here's something that work for me. And just suggesting something, then you naturally become that trusted resource over time because people just see you out there doing your thing being helpful. Would you agree with that?
Diva Diaz:One hundred percent. I think, honestly, everything that you said is brilliant, because, also, I mean, when you're actually willing to go in and like was saying, not sell something, but actually be present with the person, that already is creating Something entirely different. Because I mean, if you look at it, how often in our day to day interactions do we come across people who are really actually present with us? I don't mean just like staring into each other's eyes, you know, trying to be like that kind of present, like I hear you exactly. I'm reacting in the correct way to what you're saying. I don't mean that I mean Truly from being interested in them, not just trying to seem interesting, which is what we do when we try and sell.
Diva Diaz:The calcule I am by this I hope I'm not wrong and I hope that you're gonna think I'm right which is a lot of pressure and stress on everyone. You know, suddenly, if you're becoming interested in the person and you can be present with them, they're gonna feel valuable. And when you start to create that, it seems like it may not give you an immediate result, but those are the little seeds that you Around where, like you're saying, it builds the trust, but it also it also to me allows people to live for that moment the service that you're actually offering as well.
Angie Colee:so you're walking and talking at yes, being it, instead of thinking about how to appear to be it.
Angie Colee:I think that's how we get in our heads. I don't know, if you like, what avenues you might be a create, I suspect you're a very highly creative person. I'm a musician and there's a big difference, like I think other musicians can tell this to, when I'm thinking about what I'm going to do next on stage, versus just existing and letting it flow through my body and just interpreting it in the moment. When I'm in my head, it comes out a whole lot stiffer, it comes out very kind of stiltedly performative. But when I'm really in it, I think that's what we talk about, about being in a flow state, when somebody's work their dance, their music, their poetry, their writing, whatever just like connects in your soul. They're just being that thing instead of thinking about how to be it.
Diva Diaz:Absolutely, and I think that also circles back to you know what we were mentioning at the beginning About this tendency that people have to think that they're wrong if they're not doing things in the way that other people do. And if you're constantly looking at am I doing it right, am I doing it wrong?
Diva Diaz:you are out of that, like forget it you're not being anything other than a mental case in that moment, because all you're doing is you're just living in your head. You know, and you're not even present with the moment. You're thinking that thing, you read how somebody's going to react, what your mom might think about you. Who knows what goes on in our minds. I know my mind can have a thousand thoughts in a second, absolutely no logic, and so much to me that can actually change. This is starting to get out of that self criticism, that self judgment that allows you to be more in the flow of everything and also gives you really, like, a much bigger perspective, like a bird's eye view on what's going on, so that you're not just trying to deal with Little details that perhaps aren't really pushing things forward in a big way, which every entrepreneur is usually quite fun when Big moves.
Angie Colee:What was funny I wrote something about that this morning to it was a quote that came out of another episode of permission to kick ass, where I was talking with a therapist and we talked about she and I had this strategy in common. Out the freak out timer was like look, I've come to finally understand that my old method of I need to be a professional, I need to wear a mask, I need to control how others see me, so I'm not gonna Feel feelings. I mean, who has time to be human, am I right? Like I'm a professional, I hustle and grind like all of that bullshit.
Angie Colee:Right now I'm feeling strong feelings, like I just had a complete debacle happen with the publisher of my book where I had to pull it and move it to another publisher with just over a month to go and I called a friend of mine and was like hey, so I'm feeling some some things. Are you, are you in a good spot? I just need to like vent for a little bit. And my friend says, yep, absolutely, I'm like cool, I'm setting a timer for 15 minutes and I'm gonna be probably possessed by the spirit of something beyond in those 50 like whatever I say, don't trust anything I say I'm becoming another person.
Angie Colee:Don't worry about me, it's not about you, it's not directed at you, I'm okay. I just need to, like I need to purge this from my system, and then I will get on the phone with that person to be like Just rage and say everything that pops into my head that I need to say, and then I hear that little ding Okay, okay, thank you for letting me get that out of my system. I really love you and appreciate you. I think I can go back and do what needs to be done now, like so many of us, put that mask on and think about how we need to be again Right, and then that stuff is just roiling under the surface, waiting for a little opening to come, skewing out like a geyser.
Diva Diaz:Yeah, totally. And then it comes out as a reaction because then you've got no control over it, because you've been bottling it up. But also I think and I don't know how it's been for you, but for me, historically those things have been hard when I felt like I don't have choice, yes, so like I feel completely trapped, and then I have to mask, I have to hide, I have to behave a certain way, which in itself is already the sensation that you don't have freedom of choice. But I love, I love your technique. You know you choose it for 15 minutes, but when it stops you, in that moment I'm making a conscious choice. However much it may feel or not, like you're making a conscious choice, you are, you're making a conscious choice to just stop it and go alright.
Diva Diaz:So now let's take some action. There's no longer the reaction, no longer. That was okay, it's still fine. No judgment or self-critique about that. And now what's next? And I think that's Incredible, because that, to me, is a huge part of what's missing, not only in business but in our daily lives, where we feel like we've got to put on this front. So everything comes out as a reactive Thank you. You know, rather than recognizing. Okay, I feel this way, that's okay. And now? What choice do I have?
Angie Colee:Yeah, I had to. You know I had to develop that technique and I feel like I was inspired by it somewhere, but I can't remember it so. So if you're listening and you're like I came up with that technique, all credit to you. Please let me know. Not intending to take credit for that, but I also knew that the intensity and it tends to happen, I think, in a lot of neuro diverse people like we feel things very intensely and it can feel catastrophic when you're in the depths of those things and, and me personally, if I don't consciously, like you said, choose to put that limit on it, that cap on it, what will happen is I'm going to follow that all the way down the rabbit hole and we're going to turn this one thing that is mildly inconvenient and just Infuriating who gives customer service like that and turn it into like I'm on a mission to destroy them and I will make sure they never public talk about an overreaction. It might be entertaining for a moment, but after a bit everybody's going to be looking at me going.
Angie Colee:It was just one book, angie. Why come unglued Like just move your book somewhere else, right? Exactly. It feels like you don't have a choice but to follow that all the way down the rabbit hole. But you, you do have choice, even when it feels like you don't. I loved that you said when I feel like I don't have a choice. I'm fond of telling people every decision that you make can be unmade. You could take a job and quit it tomorrow. You can move into an apartment or buy a house tomorrow and sell it next week. That doesn't mean that it's going to be easy. But you know, aside from something that results in the end of life as we know it, most decisions can be unmade, can be backtracked. We got to stop treating these things like I gotta get it right or else, oh my gosh.
Diva Diaz:Yeah, definitely, definitely. And you know, thank you for that example, because I was laughing, because this is, it was like you were talking about me. Basically, just the other day, like something came up I can't even remember what and a friend said to me hold on a second, you don't need to burn down the house just because you spilt some, you know. And I was like, oh, I don't know. I was like, oh, yeah, that's the thing that I'm doing.
Diva Diaz:Okay, all right you know that, they said that to me, but it is because you know, with neurodiversity everything, like the way I describe it is like if people live on a volume From day zero to ten, someone who's neurodivergent will be zero to ten thousand, like that is the. You know the range and it Obviously you know switches between those numbers very, very quickly. But this thing that you're mentioning of not having to get it right, I think is huge. It's huge and it's insidious, but when you catch it it is so empowering, powerful.
Angie Colee:This is why I love having people around you that can reflect the truth back at you. I've talked before about like I don't really, at this stage, buy programs or courses or masterminds because I'm looking for a new tactic or strategy or something that I haven't learned yet, and that's not to say I think I've learned it all, but I think I have enough knowledge by now to be able to make 90 to 95% of my choices with confidence and then learn the extra little bit that I don't know right. I'm looking, when I invest in a course or a program or a mastermind, for a, a loving mirror, somebody that can reflect the truth and the awesomeness back at me that I can't see because my mirror is warped and Distorted by my self-judgment and my self-criticism and everything that society tells me that I should be doing. That I'm just not, because my my brain doesn't work that way. That's really.
Angie Colee:What I'm looking for is people that can reflect the awesomeness back, and I'm glad that you had that friend in your corner that was like remember not to burn the house down, or you just clean that spot off the carpet. It's not the end of the. Replace that carpet. You don't even have to have that carpet anymore. Don't bring the price down.
Diva Diaz:Yeah, but I think that's part I think you know for me a huge part of being able to go beyond the right and wrong of everything and Trying to kind of do I fit in here, do I not fit in here? Am I getting this right the way you're good entrepreneur shirt, or am I failing the way that most of it? Because that's actually how that insidious Right and long point of view then kind of touches everything in life. But I think the beauty of this here is that Starting to trust you and how you naturally function is a huge gift. Doesn't mean that you're like, oh, I'm amazing, I'm like a person mean, I'm not really say that to myself, but in that moment when this friend very kindly and lovingly said, hey, maybe you don't need to say everything on fire, I was able to go oh yeah, I trust, mm-hmm.
Diva Diaz:But actually that is how it feels to me. Like you were saying, you do feel it with that level of intensity, but maybe just because I feel it doesn't mean that that's the only Existing option that I have right now. What are the choice do I have? But a big part of that is actually trusting yourself without judgment, not going on so wrong and bad. That's how I reacted.
Diva Diaz:Why do I always do this Well again, you know, but actually just going, oh yeah, actually I remember that's me, that's kind of what I like to do. I find it amusing for the time that it's amusing, and then I get over myself. So maybe I just get over myself now. So that's also, you know, getting out of that self-judgment, because you're then trusting who you are and you're not trying to be different as corny as that sounds too, but really it is.
Angie Colee:Yeah, I mean, like in this is in society, especially with the eye on bullying. That's been happening in the last five to ten years. Right, we? We talk about kindness, but it's funny how often we we talk about kindness in terms of being kind to other people and Still have trouble being kind with ourselves and saying, oh my gosh, I always do this, like one of these days I'm gonna have somebody commission this drawing. But if, if anything, I see business as what I call an upward spiral, meaning we're gonna encounter probably the same three or four recurring issues at different levels, at different stages. It's always gonna come back around to the same struggles, the same problems. I'll give you an example, which was Earlier this year.
Angie Colee:I had a business partnership that didn't work out the way that I hoped, and my reaction to this, you know there were. Nobody ever likes a breakup, right, I don't think anything bad about this person, but it's uncomfortable and there are feelings involved when a breakup happens in most contexts. So my reaction was to just like, violently swing this pendulum the other way as fast and as hard as I can. It's like you know, fuck it, I'm done with marketing, I'm not doing copywriting anymore, I'm gonna talk about leadership and I'm gonna talk about communications and that's my new thing and I'm gonna burn down Everything I've done for 13 years and I'm gonna go all in on this. Thank goodness, I went to a conference with somebody and I didn't even know him, but he picked up on the fact that I was reacting instead of choosing To do something different and he just gently questioned me like Are you sure you're done with copywriting? Because let's just do a hypothetical. If money wasn't an object, what would you be doing for the rest of your life? I go to my standby joke I'd be Stephen King, but without the cocaine I would just be a prolific writer, he goes. So tell me why you feel like you need to abandon the writing side of yourself and go all in on this leadership and communications thing.
Angie Colee:Through just a series of questions of him challenging my judgment, I realized I'm not done with this. I'm done with the client work piece of it. I don't want to write for anybody else. If I had my dreaders, I would turn permission to kick ass into just this big entrepreneurial brand that is about getting more people into business, even if they don't feel like they have business skills. You're like. I'm too creative to work with spreadsheets Like me too, me too, me too.
Angie Colee:You can still learn it, but I needed that and I didn't even know that I needed it. I didn't even recognize that I was repeating an old pattern of I'm done with this, just burn it all down until somebody was able to reflect that back. I don't know if you're do you feel like you're done? This is what I'm seeing. What are you seeing, then? That helped me arrive at this conclusion of business mentor for rule breakers and rebels, which is what I've been calling myself for a few weeks now, and it just feels so much better Every single time I repeat that and people go. I don't even know what that is, but I want it. They go, yes, I love that.
Diva Diaz:You know what. Going back to what you were saying, too, a while ago about the simplicity of things If you allow things to be simple, they can be. If you don't, then they certainly won't be because you're not allowing it. But the fact that this person could ask you one simple question he didn't have an agenda, he didn't want you to necessarily be a writer for any particular personal gain, he was just empowering you to look at what was actually true for you that one simple question opened up a whole world for you.
Diva Diaz:I think one of the things that I've noticed a lot in entrepreneurs and tell me if you've come across this too. But whichever way we're wired or unwired, it's like I certainly, for myself, had to grow up wondering how do I do this? You guys are all doing this this way, but how am I supposed to do it? I'm like what do I do to make this work and what's my way? So I was constantly in question without noticing it. So that works to a standard degree when you're in school and you're getting by, you're doing your homework, whatever, and then you go to university, but then out in the bigger world, it's like we stop asking even those questions, but the entrepreneur, the neurodiverse person that's just wired into them because they need to know how to function.
Diva Diaz:And so to me, one of the great gifts of being neurodivision is that there is a different way, that we have to question everything around us, not questioning, like from a defensive perspective or to create that fight or whatever, but really being in question of what is this Like, what am I supposed to do with this, like, do I need to change this? How do I change it? What do I do? Which is a very, very different way of thinking, and the results that you get from that are dynamic. Like this, one person asking you one single question has just completely changed the course of where you were heading, and to me, that is invaluable. That is absolutely invaluable, because that's something that's kind of built into us and I think, for entrepreneurs, if you start to recognize that you have that, it really allows you to, like, bring that to the forefront and not just have it as something that you're doing by yourself in your head that you don't even recognize that you're doing Mm-hmm.
Angie Colee:Oh, absolutely, and I think like having people like that that can be that loving mirror helps you to get to know yourself, and you can find so many answers in daring, in being brave enough to get to know yourself better. And we're talking about you know the dark side, the shadow side, whatever you want to call it, as well as everything that's good about you and doing it without judgment. So, like in him asking those questions and being and that's bravery too reflecting back at a complete stranger. Are you sure about that? Because it's easier to go OK. Well, the question you asked me was how do I make a pivot, a hard pivot, from this business to that without sacrificing my revenue? The question behind that seems like are you really done with this right? How he helped me recognize that I was repeating an old pattern that needed to break was. I feel and this is just reflective of me, but maybe some people listening will feel this too I feel a great deal of comfort in building.
Angie Colee:I am a builder I don't know if you're into human design. I'm a generator. Like give me a thing that needs to get done by next week and I will have it built in about four hours. Like just every I can see all of the pieces of a very complicated marketing campaign like an exploded engineering diagram in front of my face. I know all the things that need to happen to make this work, and so I think that was the pattern that he helped me realize I was falling into. This thing is frustrating. I'm overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. I'm feeling a lot of resistance. I'm feeling a lot of feelings. So abandon that and so that I don't feel worthless, let's go build something and just feel like we're being productive. That's the thing Feel like I'm being productive, but I'm just kind of spinning my wheels, repeating this old pattern.
Diva Diaz:Exactly. And then it goes back to the thing that you mentioned about being comfortable, which we don't realize, that we're coasting, but in a way, that's kind of a way to not necessarily coast but go back to what's comfortable, even though that's probably not the most comfortable. Building something dispatch, although it is super fun, but you know, but it is. It's again being in that comfortable space rather than being willing to look at a question like that that might make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. You know, and I think he was brilliant too, because for him to ask you that question, he also had to be willing for you to not like him. Yes, because he wasn't actually answering you. Yes, he went somewhere else and he could have been poking you in a source spot, you know. So that was really brilliant and kind on his behalf.
Angie Colee:Oh, he absolutely was poking me. Shout out to Donnie and the team over at Success Champions Network and the Badass Business Summit, because that's where all of this went down. He was absolutely poking me, like he wasn't giving me enough time to sit and think and like come up with the appropriate professional response to this. And by the end of it, I can't even remember exactly what question he asked, but I think it revolved around why, like why are you even doing all of this? And I threw out off the top of my head and I was like full of emotion when I said that, because I don't want another creative person to go to their grave thinking that they're not good enough, that they're not smart enough, that they can't figure this out and that they don't have something to offer this world. And like, oh, I'm getting goosebumps just saying that I'm in tears.
Angie Colee:Everybody else sitting at this little smoker feeding is in tears. People are coming up to me after we're going. I don't know what workshop you're teaching, but I want it. And that was when I realized like, oh, I've done it again. I've fallen into this trap of I need to make it more complicated. I need to build something, I need to feel productive versus. I just need to go into my heart and ask me what matters most to me. What matters most is helping creative people create however that looks to them, so let's follow that mission. Okay, cool, uncomfortable again.
Diva Diaz:Yay, yeah, and I love that, because that's also the thing that you can't sell in a traditional way. But when it's there, when it's the thread that's underneath everything, people feel it and they sense that and they get drawn to it. Like you said, they're like I don't know what you're offering, but I want end.
Angie Colee:And that circles back so nicely to what you were talking about at the beginning with Access, consciousness and like how do you sell something like that? You really don't. I don't just go up to people and say like, hi, I'm Angie and I don't want another creative person to go.
Angie Colee:That's a lot to just drop on somebody Like a load of heavy library books in their lab, like what are you even doing? But that's my hope in creating content. Having wonderful discussions like this with entrepreneurs like you is to convey that meaning Like you're not alone, you're not fucking it up, you're not doing everything wrong, you're not setting yourself back by years, like your timing is your own, your mission is fine. The people that are in your corner are really in your corner, like trust them to be who they show you they are.
Diva Diaz:Oh, 100%.
Diva Diaz:I love that you said that.
Diva Diaz:Trust them to be who they show you they are, because that obviously works in both ways, like when they're showing you something, but it's not going to be generative for you.
Diva Diaz:I've made the mistake so many times of not listening, you know, wanting to believe in the good of people or making up excuses for the person that they weren't even making up themselves, which is reinventing these things. But I think it's interesting how you know, again, looking at like are you willing to have that discomfort of actually being really kind of brutally honest with yourself and not brutal from like I'm going to punch myself in the head as I admit this to myself, but brutally honest because it does. It can feel brutal knowing the truth. It can feel like I don't even want to know what's true here, because I actually already do know what's true here, which is why I wouldn't look at it. But again, when you're willing to ask yourself those questions, like you did, you know, with the direction that you were going in and, like so many of us, have to deal with so many different key points during creative parts, yeah, it's super empowering too.
Angie Colee:Oh man, this is. I had no expectations or idea where this conversation would go when we started it, but I have loved having this conversation. I hope you had as good a time as I did. Thank you, me too.
Angie Colee:I feel like I stopped it right now because I had like five questions that I wanted to ask that I realized would take us for like two more hours of just ranting and rambling. So I'm going to say I think we need a part two. I definitely need to learn more about Diva, about access, consciousness and all of the stuff that you are working on. For now I will say tell us more about your business. How do we get in touch? How do we work with you directly? Everybody wants to know. Thank, you?
Diva Diaz:Yeah, I mean you can just check me out online. I'm on theaccessconsciousnesscom website forward slash divads. By the way, that actually is my name. My grandmother's called Diva and so is my aunt. I'm the third it's not that exciting in my family and I've got a name called Eva, so we're all kind of obsessed with that name. But you can also go to divadscom. I've got a bunch of you know, free material there and content that you can kind of start getting getting your hands on.
Angie Colee:Oh, incredible, incredible, incredible. I'm going to make sure that there are clickable links in the show notes that everybody can check you out. You know it's interesting. I always have kind of a sense of which episodes people are really going to reach out to me and say this one, this one hit me right in the feels. I think this is going to be one of them. I'm just saying Thank you so much for being on the show. It was a true pleasure you too, Angie.
Angie Colee:That's all for now. If you want to keep that kick-ass energy high, please take a minute to share this episode with someone that might need a high octane dose of you can do it. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe to the Permission to Kick-Ass podcast on Apple Podcasts, spotify and wherever you stream your podcasts. I'm your host, angie Coley, and I'm here rooting for you. Thanks for listening and let's go kick some ass.