Welcome back to the Cultivating Growth podcast where each week we discuss different ways in which we can grow as followers of Christ. This week we'll be discussing the idea of growing in love. The Bible speaks extensively about the importance of loving God, loving others, and therefore the importance being placed on us to grow in our love.

It's an important topic and one that we can all benefit from. And so with that, let's get to it. 

Well, John, there is certainly no question, as we spend this week talking about our growth specifically in love love is a foundational principle to the Christian. I mean, you read about the base of it in the Old Testament, the importance of it, and even in the New Testament, when Jesus will, In a pretty simple kind of way, when asked about, you know, the greatest command, you know, Jesus says the greatest command, the most important thing to focus on?

Love. Love God, love others. You know, those two things kind of, everything is wrapped up in it. But maybe where I want to start, there's a really interesting passage in Colossians chapter 3.  That where kind of love comes to the forefront a little bit. It's really a powerful passage there. Where you know, Paul is writing to the brethren in Colossae.

In a lot of ways, he's talking about their growth as Christians. And he talks about the importance of putting off sinful things. But at the same time, putting on righteous things. And that certainly is the picture of growth. And he gives a list. So for instance, in Colossians chapter three, in verse 12, he says, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long suffering, bearing with one another, forgiving one another.

If anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do all great things. A lot of those things we'll talk about, you know, as this podcast continues to unfurl.  But in verse 14, right after that, it says, but above. All these  put on love and you know, he kind of separates that a little bit and certainly Jesus separated it and in essence, really, God has separated this really foundational principle and certainly to be good for us to talk about today.

Yeah, you know, when God indicates through the inspired writers that he is love, that he embodies it, that right there should tell us just how important it is, that it also be a defining characteristic of who we are. If we're made to be in the image and the likeness of God, and God is love, And that tells us we have to be loved too.

And so what does that mean? What does it mean? Not just to love, but to be love. And I think that really gets to the heart of why this is such an important topic to talk about in the light of growing, growing in love, because all of us understand what it means to love. We love our wives. We love our children.

We love our parents. We love our friends. We love. But, but is it, is it a defining characteristic of who you are? It is for God. It's a defining characteristic of who He is. It's a defining characteristic of who Jesus was when He walked this earth. That's what we're striving for. And that, that really, I think, is the essence of when, when John's, when Jesus speaks to His 13. 

And he talks about a new command that he is giving them, that you love, not like you love yourself. That was the way it was done in days gone by. But now the standard for love is that you love the way that Jesus loves. That's the message that he's trying to get across to us, that that is our standard for being like God and loving like he loves.

And that is a standard that is always going to leave room for growth for us. We're never going to reach God's level of love, therefore we always have to be growing and striving to improve in that area. And I think kind of an understanding of that helps, you know, of understanding really what biblical love, when we read about it, you know, biblically.

Culturally, we talk about love, and we use that word all the time. And I think that can confuse us, you know, when we talk about growing in love. Because, you know, culturally, when we think about love, we think about the emotion of love. That, listen, almost you can't help it, right? You can't help who you love.

You fall in love. Fall out of love. I, I have very little control over,  you know, the people that I love or the people that I don't love. I mean, it's just, you know, kind of on a whim culturally. And then when we think about it that way, and we say, well, you gotta grow in love. You know, it'd be easy then to say, well, I, I, I don't have anything to do with that.

It just kind of happens, or it, it, it doesn't happen, right? Mm-Hmm. . But an understanding, going off of what you just said, of loving as Jesus. Love is having the understanding about biblically what love is, and that love isn't an emotion, although emotion is involved. But it is all about choice. It is all about making the choice to put others above yourself.

And we see that certainly from God, you know, in the passage that you You referenced already about the fact that God is love a as John is writing, that you know there in First John, you know he'll, he'll make the point that, listen, God is the one who loved first and that he loved us even when we weren't loving him.

Yeah. And so that showcases that choice that's made. And so now when we kind of have that understanding.  It is something that I can grow in, it is something that I can improve on, that choice to put others above myself. And that's such an important part of this. It's really at the crux of what this entire discussion is about.

It is a choice. I was actually having a conversation recently with someone who had done some pretty extensive studying on the idea of love, and specifically the different Greek words that are translated as love. Some of you are probably familiar with that. There's a plurality of Greek words that are translated as love.

There's agape love and phileo love and so on, but there's also a Greek word for natural love. But the interesting thing about that is that natural love is not used in the Bible. It's used twice, but in the negative. Not natural love. It's the only time it's used.  What that tells me is that the natural love, a child has a natural love for their mother.

It doesn't, it's not a choice that little baby is making. It's not even a feeling, there's just a natural connection that exists. There's nothing that baby is doing necessarily, it's just a natural connection.  That's not the kind of love that Jesus talks about. That's not the kind of love any of the inspired writers talk about.

Because that's a love that doesn't come with a choice. They talk about the love that comes with choice.  I am choosing to love selflessly. I am choosing to love as a friend. I am choosing to love and show compassion. Jesus and the inspired writers talk about the choice we make in love, not the natural love.

And so when we think about, yeah, I love my mom and dad. I love even my wife to an extent. There is something about that that is a choice, but there are certain aspects of that that are very natural.  God wants us to focus on loving when it's not easy, loving when it doesn't come naturally to us, loving when it would be a whole lot easier to hate or a whole lot easier to just ignore in those moments, choose to love.

And so the fact that those aspects of love are the ones. That the writers talk about tells us right there that this is something we need to be making a conscious decision to do. And it's going to require effort on our part in order to love the way that God wants us to and the way that Jesus demonstrated in his example.

Yeah, it's what allows Jesus, you know, like in the Sermon on the Mount. At the end of Matthew chapter five, to love your enemies. I mean, that, that's, and that's why when he said something like that, it blew people away because it is not natural to do that. Or, or when he says, you know, in that same, you know, context to bless those who persecute you or do evil or revile you in some way.

Bless those people. It's what allows him to do that. And, you know, one thing that I think about,  you know, that is interesting is, you know, God, Demanding that of his followers. He demands this kind of love, but yet at the same time still having that understanding of the things that God demands of his people, he does so because it is what's better for us.

It is what's better for our demeanor. It is what's better for our anxiety. It is what's better for our heart. It is. It is what's better for us. And  We struggle with that, right? Because the natural thing is to hold grudges against our enemy. The natural thing would be to, to be evil or to do something against our enemy.

But God says don't do that. You love them. But yet still having that understanding that loving them is still what's best for you. For me, and that goes back to we talked about that last week with, you know, building a growing in our faith, right? Trusting that God has the best way and his way is always the most profitable for man.

One of the things also you brought up kind of our conversation last week, when we were talking about faith, we brought up Luke chapter 17, where the apostles, they're asked God to help them grow in their faith. Lord, increase our faith. There's an interesting passage in first Thessalonians chapter three. 

As Paul writes to the, the Christians in Thessalonica, and, and he says something very similar to what the apostles expressed in Luke chapter 17. He says, now may our God and father himself and our Lord Jesus Christ direct our way to you and may the Lord make you increase and abound in love. To one another and to all Paul recognizing that the only way for love to abound in our lives, for it to constantly increase in our lives is through our relationship with God.

He is the source of that love because he defines it. He is love. And so we need to talk to God about God helped me grow in love, help me grow in the love that I have for those that I don't get along very well with. Or help me grow in love for my enemies. Help me grow in love for my children. Help me grow in love for my friends.

All of these different aspects. Help me grow in love for you, God. All of these different aspects of love, we need to be talking to God and asking Him to help us so that, as Paul says, we can increase and abound in love. That should be our goal. To just have it be such a part of who we are that it just overflows in us.

It, it, it, it  is a part of every conversation and every relationship that we have because it is abounding in my life. Yeah, and one way that we can kind of build upon that, and you know, sometimes we talk about, you know, how can I grow in love? How can I, you know, kind of grow in that area? Well, you made mention of certainly talking to God and asking Him to help, but one time, you know, someone was You know, talking to me about, you know, how you deal with those that are causing you problems or those that are, you know, your enemies, if you will.

And the advice then was to be in the habit of praying for them. And the point was, if I'm in the habit of praying for them, it becomes very, very difficult then to not like them or to hate them, right? And so that, but that's something easy that you can do. Pretty quickly and maybe those prayers as you're talking to God about the goodness and the blessings that come to those Now your capacity to love is being increased by God through your conversation with them That's a great point as a practice we can even do in the moment if we're struggling with with someone in the moment We can pray, you know, we have an example of Nehemiah doing that, where he's having a conversation with the king about asking him to go back to help the people in Jerusalem.

And, and the king asks him a question and we almost get the impression that in the moment, Nehemiah prays to God while he's having this conversation with the king. We can do that very thing. If we're struggling with our attitude towards someone, even in the midst of conversation with them. Internally, pray to God and God help me to abound in love.

Help me to show the love that you would show to this individual. And that's something that all of us can put into practice. It's a very practical thing that we can do. And I think it's a great, it's great advice that it's very difficult to continue to be angry. or to react harshly to someone when you're praying for them.

Yeah, there's no doubt about it. Well, let's think about it as we close. How about we all work on that this week? Let's all work on our capacity to love and our growth in that capacity. Not just our love for God, which always should be growing, but also let's think about our love for others. And let's let's take it upon ourselves to take a step.

forward in that. And certainly I look forward to that thinking about it this week. And I certainly appreciate everybody for listening with us as well. 

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