Thank you so much for listening to the Cultivating Growth podcast, where each and every week we pick a topic and we think about how it is that we can grow in that specific topic and ultimately grow in our relationship to God. This week, we're going to talk about John and I cultivating our growth when it comes to our  And certainly that's something that each and every one of us can be working on.

Scripture, God has lots to say about it. And so with all of those things in mind, let's get right to it. 

Listening is one of those important traits that You know, as parents, we teach our children from a very young age, and we may find ourselves at different times kind of getting down on their level and saying, Hey, I need you to listen to me. We do that with our Children, and we do it because it's such an important thing to learn, even at a very young age.

But kind of the irony in that is sometimes as we get older, we get worse at our listening. And so we're going to take some time today to talk about what God has to say about being a good listener and why it's so important, because I think that's one of the things that I kept coming back to as I was preparing for this.

It's obvious that God throughout the Bible talks about the importance of listening.  Uh, but even More so than that, he tells us why that's something that's important. And I think that really helps deepen the need within myself  to grow in this area. Even if I consider myself to be someone who listens, there's always room for growth because we're always.

It's in our minds as we're talking with someone else, we're thinking about what we're going to say. And, you know, those types of, of characteristics within us, uh, in indicate a lack of intentionality when it comes to my listening. And so it's an area that I know personally, I need to grow in and I'm sure we all can, but.

You know, Jeremy, as you were getting ready for this today, what were a couple of the main things that stood out to you about what God has to say about listening? Well, two things that I thought about, you know, pretty quickly, and, you know, it's one thing that, you know, all of us know, but it'd be good for us to kind of state it here at the beginning, is that, you know, even for all of us in the way that we use the word listen, and certainly in Scripture when we see God and His admonition for us to listen, and the importance of that, that it's more than just, I'm hearing the words.

But that there is a comprehension that's taking place, that it, there is some thought that is happening. Um, it, to me, there, you know, there's a word in, listen, listen, listen is used, you know, throughout Scripture. A lot of times in the book of Proverbs, and I'm sure we'll spend some time there.  But, you know, there's another word that I think is, closely akin to this that's also used a lot in scripture, and it is that idea of heeding.

And it gives that same connotation that it's more than just, I'm hearing, physically hearing words, you know, that you're, uh, that you're saying.  But that I'm, I'm, I'm thinking about them, that I'm, I'm comprehending them. And that's what we want. And that, in your analogy with our children, that's what we're looking for, uh, in a relationship that we have maybe with our spouse.

That's certainly, you know, the kind of listening, you know, that we're looking for. And then secondly, there was a phrase that Jesus will often use, uh, you know, throughout, uh, his time on earth when he's, he's trying to, you know, get them to understand he's about to say something important or he had just said something important.

And he'll use the phrase, you know, Know, he who has an ear to hear, let him hear. Mm-Hmm. . And, and he, he says that not if you physically have an ear, uh, I'm gonna be making some noise. So make note of that. Right. He's drawing their attention to the fact that what, what I'm about to say or what I have just said, you need to take.

In not just understand, I said something, but to take in what I said. And that ultimately biblically is, is the idea of listening. Yeah, we oftentimes we'll make that comparison because hearing can be somewhat of a passive activity, right? If I'm standing close enough in proximity to you while you're talking, I'm going to hear what you're saying, but that can be a very passive activity on my part.

But to listen.  To listen is to be thinking about what's being said, to process it, uh, to allow it to sink in, and then that then determines how I'm going to respond. And so there's that difference in whether you're being passive or being active in your approach to this really determines whether you're just hearing what somebody says or you're actually listening to what somebody has to say.

And when you think about that, then that really Opens up, I think, some of the passages of scripture that use this concept of listening. In James 1 and verse 19, probably one of the most well known passages when it comes to this, Uh, it says that we're to be quick to listen, and slow to speak, and slow to anger.

And so there is a responsibility that listening is to be at the top of that list. I'll always be ready to listen. Now, if you get a chance to speak, that's fine. But, but kind of put that on the back burner for a second and prioritize listening. You'd be quick to listen. And the Proverbs that I'm sure we'll reference really tell us why.

Because listening is where we gain counsel and wisdom. Listening, listening for that matter in Romans 10, 17, listening is where our faith comes from. And so, in order for us to be close to God and have a relationship with Him, we have to be listeners. In order for us to have a relationship with one another, we have to be listeners.

That's where those relationships are formed, that's where I learn, that's where I gain wisdom and insight into what someone else is dealing with. All of those things happen when I'm an active listener. And so, yes, I'll have my opportunity to speak, and there's an appropriate place for that, but I need to be quick to first and foremost listen instead of speak.

Yeah, even though the word isn't found in that passage there in James chapter 1 and verse 19, you know, the Certainly, the principle is there for the phrase that we use all the time about the importance of thinking before you speak, right? Think before you speak. Count to ten, you know, before you speak. I mean, all of those, you know, kind of ideas that we use and we think about, you know, today is coming from this idea in James chapter 1.

Now, think, is it the word that's used here. It's listen. But I think that goes to the point that you and I have been making that, you know, biblically, when God is saying, listen, you need to be quick to listen, or you need to be swift to listen and slow to speak is that that that is the important part. The important part.

It's taking in the important part is discerning what you have taken in. The important part is thinking about the words that then you're going to be using, right? I mean, just a couple of chapters from here, you know, they're in James chapter three. I mean, he is going to go into a long, you know, discussion about the dangers of being swift to speak.

And, uh, and, you know, it. It points out now that there is incredible wisdom, and that really brings us, you know, to the book of Proverbs. I mean, we can Spend the rest of our time and maybe will in the book of Proverbs, you know, a book about wisdom and over and over and over again. You can find passages that point to, hey, you need to be listening much more than you need to be speaking that fool speak the wise listen and you see that over and over and over again.

I think one of the reasons that that is, is something that is harped upon so much, especially in the book of Proverbs, when you're talking about wisdom  is I think someone who is always wanting to speak, someone who's just constantly wanting to speak, what we're seeing is actually a symptom of pride, uh, to an extent when someone is, is not interested in listening to what someone else says, they just want.

To be the one to talk, what we're telling someone else is what I have to say is much more important than what you have to say. What I have to say is, is much more helpful than what you have to say. That's a symptom of pride. I'm simply saying I'm, I'm in a better place to talk than you are right now. So why don't you listen and let me talk?

And what the proverb writer is saying, as you alluded to, is actually the exact opposite is true. In Proverbs 12 and verse 15, it says, the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise. And so the fool is the one who says, I've got this all figured out. The fool is the one who says, Hey, let me tell you, and you sit back and listen.

It's the wise person who heeds counsel, who listens to other people, who seeks out wisdom and understanding so that they can learn from that. And so that's really what we need to be putting into practice in our own lives is putting aside the pride that can lead us to be constantly wanting to talk first or talk over, and instead be ready to listen and be ready to learn from someone else.

Yeah, because there's an incredible benefit to that, right? And that's where we have to be focused on is that, you know, it's not just that, you know, God is like, you need to listen just because I want you to listen. He understands there's benefit to listening before speaking, you know, two passages in Proverbs that certainly came to my mind.

One, you know, just off of what you had just made reference to, but I love the simplicity in Proverbs chapter 18 and verse 13, where it says, he who answers a matter before he hears it. It is folly and shame to him. Now there's a simplicity of that. And that is There's people that do that all the time, and we're tempted to do that.

If you're answering a matter before you hear it, it's simply folly. But for me, one of the passages that I really like the most because it gets to  the heart of the benefit of listening, and I think that's, you know, kind of where we are in a lot of ways. is towards the very beginning of the book in Proverbs chapter 2.

And so there are a couple of things that really stick out, especially in verses 2 and 3, that point to this. I want you to listen and think about now the benefits that come from it. So Proverbs chapter 2 and verse 2, it says that you incline your ear, that's listen, right? You incline your ear to wisdom.

Apply your heart to understanding, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding. And then in verse 4 he's saying these things you, these are the things you need to be, you know, seeking. Those are the treasures. And if you do that, verse 5, you'll understand the fear of the Lord, and you'll find the knowledge of God.

And you think about the words that are used, wisdom, understanding, discernment, those things come from listening. Not from speaking and God says you're interested in understanding about the fear of the Lord. You're interested in the knowledge of God Listening is the key to those things that takes a great deal of discipline on our part to really grow in these areas the way that the Bible is calling us to because all of us feel that desire to get into a conversation to share what we know and those types of things and and to really take a beat and Listen to someone else when they're speaking, not just hearing them and preparing what you're going to say when they finally stop talking, but truly listening to them and then responding appropriately.

That takes a great deal of discipline and intentionality on our part, and that's why we have to train it into our Children. Children by nature are not good listeners. They're constantly worried about whatever they're doing, or whatever they want. And so we have to train them to be good listeners. And that training really continues into adulthood.

We have to have the discipline. We have to train ourselves to be good listeners to one another. Even sitting here with you. Today, we, we do this podcast every week. Well, it's important that whenever you start, you stop talking, I start talking. Otherwise we're gonna have some dead air and that's not good for a podcast.

But in order for this conversation to go anywhere, I have to listen to what you're saying, right? Because if I'm just ready to say something, as soon as you stop talking and doesn't have anything to do with what you just said, well, that's not going to lead to a very good podcast either, and so we, we have those.

Uh, situations in our lives where we can see very clearly how important it is to listen, but it is still something we have to train ourselves in and discipline ourselves in and constantly remind ourselves That when someone is speaking I have a responsibility in this conversation I have I have an active part of this conversation, even though i'm not the one currently talking.

Yeah, we talk about you know When it comes to key components to relationships, I mean, everybody will say, you know, at the top of the list, a key component to relationship is communication. And I'm not going to argue with that, whether that's a relationship you have with friends or with your spouse, or even your relationship with God.

Communication is the key component to all that. Well, in order to have communication, there's two pieces of that. There are, there are the, there's the listening part and then there's the speaking part. And if you. only are having one of those. Listen, I'm trying to build a relationship on speaking only and no listening.

Well, try that with your spouse. Try that with a good friend of yours. You're going to find out very quickly you don't have a relationship at all. No. And so when we understand those things, and so certainly we understand that even with God, if we're, you know, very quick to just, you know, talk to God about all our problems, but not willing to, to listen to him on how he is best to handle those things.

We don't have a good relationship with God. And so it is, it comes down to under, we're very good on the speaking part. That's why he tells us there in James, let's maybe pull back on that a little bit, and push ahead on the listening. And we struggle with that, I think you hit it. with the kids, certainly that bleeds over into adults.

I think in general people have a selfish problem. And if you have a selfish problem, you're going to struggle with listening. And so you've got to be able to get outside of yourself to be able to listen. And I think you said it a moment ago, if I was listening.  It, it takes, it, it takes a practice and intentionality Yeah.

Is probably a key component to that. Yeah, I agree. Well, let's go ahead and, and wrap it up for today. I want to end in Proverbs. We've referenced several passages already in Proverbs. Let's go to Proverbs chapter 18 in verse number two. I think this is a, a good way of, of putting a finishing touches on this.

Again, talking about the fool. It says, A fool has no delight. In understanding, but just in expressing his own heart. 

Thank you for listening this week. If you haven't already done So we'd appreciate it if you would take just a second to subscribe to the podcast whatever platform you're listening Rate and review the show so we can continue to spread the good news of Jesus widely and effectively as possible Thanks again for joining us this week, and we'll talk again next week