Welcome to the Cultivating Growth Podcast, where each week we discuss different ways in which we can grow as followers of Christ.  This week, Jeremy and I will be discussing how we can grow in gentleness.  How we treat one another is incredibly important to God, and he routinely points us to embody gentleness in our interactions and our character.

It was a joy to discuss this topic, and I'm excited to share the conversation with everyone today. So with that, let's get to it.  Well, John, as we spent some time talking about gentleness today, it's one of those terms I think sometimes that we commonly think about it is, is what we are, like an action. And there is a little bit to be said about that for sure.

But I think biblically, the way it's most used, whether it be gentleness or kind of a partner word meek or meekness, very, very similar, you know, idea and they're used interchangeably in a lot of places. That it, it is so much it's a little bit more and a little bit deeper than just the, the action of gentleness or meekness.

It, it is the, the attitude. It is the persona. It's what you take on that you are someone who is a person of gentleness, and because you're a person of gentleness, you then operate in a gentle or a meek way. And I think certainly when you go through scripture, that's, you know, what you see in a lot of ways.

You know, the one thing, you know that.  You know, hits me, you know, right off the bat is that, you know, maybe before we get into talking about our own gentleness is to be reminded that that's the way Jesus operated, you know. It is, you know, he operated in that way. Matthew chapter 11. You know, take my yoke upon you for I am gentle and lowly in heart.

And so he's, he's making that statement. And then in that simple passage, he's causing us to do the same, to operate in that gentle kind of way. Yeah, he sets the standard for us in that regard. And I think it tells us a lot about what gentleness really means and what it's supposed to look like. Because we know Jesus to be gentle, as you just said, but yet he was a man who stood for the truth.

He was bold. He, he taught openly and even confrontationally at times, he didn't shy away from, from creating confrontation when and where that was necessary in order to spread the gospel. And so being gentle doesn't mean that we shy away from doing difficult things or that we're unwilling to have hard conversations when necessary.

Gentleness, as I think you pointed out rightly. is a part of who we are. It's the way that we conduct ourselves in our interactions with one another, and we can be both bold and gentle at the same time. We can preach boldly and confidently while also being gentle. And I think that's really what the, the gospel is, is calling us to be.

First Peter chapter three was a passage that I went to, And in chapter 3 and verse number 15,  he says, but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear. Some translations will say, with gentleness and fear.

And so here's a, here's a, an example of someone who is called to teach, always be ready, but to do so gently. And so those two things can go hand in hand and Jesus sets that perfect example for us. Yeah, I think when we start to think about it in a lot of ways It is the way that we deal with the people around us, right?

That we are dealing with them in a meek way a gentle way and maybe a better Maybe another way to say that is we're looking out always for what is the best for others  And certainly jesus was that and when we go to the pages of the old testament And study about a man like moses Is who certainly took stands for the truth and, and had confrontations with the people.

But yet he always had their best interests in mind. And he's always advocating for them. And he's always encouraging them. And, and lifting them up. In, in all kinds of ways. And so the text, you know, the scriptures will tell us that Moses was  And his level of meekness was unmatched even at the time that, that he was there.

And so, and it's certainly easy to see with Jesus and the way that he interacts with  fill in the blank. I mean, it doesn't make a difference. He is always looking out for you.  for the best for the other folks. And and he's going to then deal with them in that capacity in that way, right? And so whether you want to call it the golden rule which we certainly is laid down upon us and the way that we are to deal with each other, whether you want to cite passages like Philippians chapter 2 that talks about putting others and thinking about others Interest over our own.

All of those kinds of thoughts and attitudes are going to have a massive impact on us dealing in a gentle or meek way with the people around us. And sometimes I think there's even a danger of  treating the people who are closest to us more harshly. then we do others that we may have just casual relationships with.

You know, we can, we can probably all think of times where we've lashed out toward our spouse or our children or our parents or our best friends or something like that. And we would never speak that way towards someone who's just a casual acquaintance, but sometimes we reserve, unfortunately, some of our harshest language for those that we love the most and are closest to us.

And I think this principle that we're talking about today should really shape all conversations that we have with people. In fact, there's a passage in Philippians 4, Philippians 4 and verse 5, it just simply says, Let your gentleness be known to all men. It's this idea that when someone interacts with you, knows you, sees you, They should just see gentleness in how you treat the world around you, how you treat people, and how you treat situations.

You're constantly gentle in the way that you handle things. Because the reality is that relationships are fragile. And, and we have to be always aware of the fact that my words can damage those relationships. My words can harm people and hurt people, and I need to take that seriously. And so, I approach them gently, and again, now that doesn't mean, you know, I'll reiterate it probably multiple times.

That doesn't mean. That we shy away from hard conversations when those are necessary, but you can still do so in a gentle way. And so you treat those relationships with the value that they deserve, recognizing that words can do them great harm. And you would never want to harm someone or hurt someone.

And so you approach them in gentleness I'll say even with those hard conversations. It's it's the only way that there's going to be profit In those hard conversations if we approach them in a gentle or a meek kind of way, you know A couple things you made mention of that was kind of striking to me. It kind of got me thinking You know one way that I could think can help us understand what being gentle or being meek is all about Is an understanding of what the opposite of that is Because we're very easy and it's very we're able to in a simple kind of way To understand when we have stepped over that line when we have done something That has hurtful or we have done something that doesn't have You know, whoever's best interest in mind, and those are things that we regret.

Those are things that we have to apologize for. Those are things that destroy relationships and bonds, and we're able to pick those things out. Now, there's still a battle and a temptation against some of those things. I think in a lot of ways because of our selfishness and pride that we're, you know, battling all the time. 

But when we can recognize those kinds of things, Well, just as simply then we should be able to recognize the other side of that, right? And to be able to see well here this is something that is gentle or meek, you know I appreciate you bringing up philippians chapter 4  There's a simplicity to that passage.

It's almost the lost verse in that context because, you know, there in verse 4, Rejoice always. Again, I say rejoice. We've got that down. You know, you have there in verse 6 about, you know, being, you know, anxious for nothing, but, you know, by everything, you know, Take those things to God. The peace that surpasses all understanding in verse 7.

All of the wonderful, godly things that we need to be thinking about in verse 8. Well, in the midst of all of those incredible admonitions, as you made mention, you have that simplicity. Let your gentleness shine. Be known to all men. No, it's it's so much more than just hey, be gentle be gentle But let your gentleness be known to all men The only way that that happens is that the people around you see you operating that way And they themselves have felt you operating that way and I think one of the reasons that's so important is because it then welcomes Conversation it welcomes people to come and to talk to us and to confide in us And I think sometimes we can be, we can be guilty of being so strident in some of the things that we teach and believe that we make ourselves unapproachable.

And if we're gentle though, then even if we may have disagreements with someone, they're still going to feel comfortable coming and talking to us because whether we come to a conclusion in which we agree or not, they know that they're going to be handled gently and respectfully in the conversation.

They're not going to be shouted down. They're not going to be, you know, talked down to in some way that the conversation is going to be respectful and it's going to be handled in an appropriate manner. And so we have a responsibility if we want to be effective teachers, if we want to be confidants and people that can be trusted, that we handle those situations with gentleness.

And that is then going to inform how people approach us in the future or whether or not they will approach us in the future when they have something that they want to discuss, because if we're not gentle and they know that, man, if I take this to him and I ask him about this, I'm just going to get shouted down, or he's just going to blow me off, or he's just going to treat me roughly.

Well, that's going to discourage open dialogue and healthy conversation, and we certainly don't want to do that. We want to encourage that, and the way that we encourage that is to make our gentleness known to all men so that they know, regardless of how difficult a conversation it might be, it's going to be handled in a gentle way, and I can walk away from that with a good feeling of our relationship and how it was conducted.

Good. Yeah, and I think the best way for us to think about it is, is we kind of think about, you know, applying this idea of gentleness.  Certainly, you know, physically you know, there are some applications there. But I think for the most of us, the stronger application points are going to be the words we use.

Yeah. And the way that we communicate. And so, you know, you have, you know, all of the warnings that you have, like in the book of James, in chapter 3, about the danger of the tongue. And you have all of the admonitions throughout scripture about the way that we speak to one another. And so, you know, like in Ephesians chapter 4, when he Paul is making mention of all the things to put off and put on, and, and he, he says there about bitterness, wrath, anger, evil speaking.

Put that away in verse 31, and then there in verse 32, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another. All of those things are attributes of gentleness. But as he closes that, he reminds us, listen, this is the way that God interacts with you, right. So that's then how we should interact with other folks.

And for us to be thinking,  for the most of us, there's good that can come from taking a moment and thinking about the words and the way that I speak. To everybody, I mean to everybody, the way that I speak, every word has to be given in gentleness. Now again, you said we're going to continue to reiterate, and we will.

That doesn't mean I'm compromising the truth. It doesn't mean I'm not taking a stand on the truth. It doesn't mean that I'm not rebuking when rebuking needs to take place. Or I'm not correcting when correcting needs to take place. It doesn't mean any of those things. But those things can happen. Still with gentleness of words, and I think that is what God is pushing us towards.

So much so, you know, it's one of the qualifications that we see of an elder in 1 Timothy chapter 3. You know, Paul will write there that there to be men who are gentle. And I think that even gives us a broader picture of what you were just describing. An eldership has a responsibility of shepherding the flock and protecting them  in spiritual matters.

And sometimes that means aggressively handling someone who may be wanting to teach falsely within the church. Or having very difficult conversations and confronting sin. Within the Lord's church. Those are difficult conversations, but those are responsibilities that an eldership has, and yet one of the qualifications for being an elder is to be gentle.

And so all of those things, as you were pointing out, can still be done and be done in a godly way, but can be done with gentleness at heart. And I think that is something that it's a difficult thing. That's why I think we're talking about it in the, in the context of growing in this area, because that's a difficult thing to do.

It's not something that necessarily comes naturally to us. But it is something that we should constantly be striving to better ourselves in. I can always be more gentle. I can think of a handful of conversations right off the top of my head where I was not as gentle as I should have been. And I want to be better the next time a conversation like that comes around.

And I want to be more approachable. And I want people to see my gentleness more than they ever have before. It's something that all of us have to continually grow in because it's something that's a real challenge. And I think that's why. We see so many times in scripture the, the recommendation, the admonition, the teaching.

To be gentle because it is not something that's easy for us. Yeah, I mean, you know a passage that comes to mind there in glacian chapter 6 about you know, restoring a brother who has  Walked away We're told there in glacian chapter 6 in verse 1 to do so in a spirit of gentleness and that really comes on the heels in the context of At the end of chapter 5 with the works of the flesh and the fruit of the spirit.

And he's painting this picture of the one that is walking according to the spirit are going to have these lists of attributes and among those attributes is specifically gentleness is made mention of along with love and along with kindness and those very similar feeling things. But yet, it's still, here is a very difficult situation that Paul is describing in Galatians chapter 6.

And he says, you go into that situation and you do so with a spirit of gentleness. You take that into this very difficult, difficult thing. And that's how a brother can be restored. That, that, it can't happen if we go in just aggressively beating them down and degrading them in every way. God knows that that's not how you bring someone to Christ.

You do so by showing the love and the gentleness that Christ himself showed. There's no doubt about that Well, we've got a lot of things to think about certainly some things to be applying in our lives when it comes to gentleness And I want to close with a passage from god's word. We made mention of that passage in the book of Ephesians.

There's a parallel passage in the book of Colossians that Paul makes mention of about putting off the old man and putting on the new man and specifically what that looks like. And he says in Colossians chapter 3 and verse 12 he says, Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on or be clothed with Tender mercies, kindness, humility, gentleness, long suffering, bearing with one another, forgiving one  another.

Thank you for listening this week. If you haven't already done so, we'd appreciate it if you would take just a second to subscribe to the podcast on whatever platform you're listening, and rate and review the show so we can continue to spread the good news of Jesus as widely and effectively as possible.

Thanks again for joining us this week, and we'll talk to you again next week. 

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