Welcome, and thank you for listening to the Cultivating Growth Podcast, where each and every week we pick a topic and we discuss it John and I, on how it is that we can grow in that particular topic, most importantly, how it then will affect our relationship with God. And so this week, we're going to spend our time in talking specifically about cultivating our growth when it comes to our roles as leaders. 

And although I'm sure we'll talk about some in general parenting things, the Bible has a lot to say specifically to fathers. So I'm looking forward to this conversation. And with that, let's get right to it. 

Well, Jeremy, we spent our time last week talking about our God given roles as husbands. And this week, we're going to turn our attention more to our relationship toward our children and talk about the role we have as fathers. And so, similar to the way our discussion began last week, I think it's important to recognize that there are very specific instructions given to us as fathers.

There is some guidance given to us as to how we're to treat our children, the importance of the role that we play in their lives, the importance of discipline, the importance of teaching. This is something that God recognizes and has made sure that we understand just how important that father figure is in the lives of children.

And so like our relationship with our wives, the relationship that we have with our children is one that's governed by God's wisdom and his insight. And it's one that carries with it a very heavy sense of responsibility. And so it's important that again, we open up the Bible and we allow God to teach us.

What kind of fathers we're supposed to be. And then we do our best to live into those ideals that God has set forth. And it's a, it's a daunting task. And being a father is a really, really hard job but it's one that is worth the effort and the time that's dedicated to it because it's one that's really important in the eyes of God.

You know, I think it's interesting. We talked about this a little bit last week when, you know, when it comes to being a husband, listen, there's a lot that goes into being a husband. the kind of husband that God wants us to be. There's a lot of moving pieces to that, and there's a lot of effort and energy that it takes to be in the kind of husband that God would have us to be, the kind of husbands our wives need us to be, and there's a lot that happens with that.

But at the same time, when you look at passages like Ephesians chapter five or something like that, it still comes across in a very simplistic kind of way, right? I mean, we we talked about that last week. I mean, God lays upon us the responsibility as the head of our wine. But yet he then tells us to love our wives.

I mean, that's kind of as far as he goes, you know, in that passage. And so when we think about the role of a father,  it, to me, it's very similar to that. You made mention it, it, it takes incredible amount of time. It takes an incredible amount of energy, both physically and mentally. It takes. It takes thought, it takes forethought, it takes afterthought, it takes knowledge and wisdom.

I mean, it takes so much to be the kind of father that God would have us to be and the kind of father our children need us to be. But yet at the same time, when you look at passages like Ephesians chapter six, which is really in that same context with the end of Ephesians chapter five, it's presented in a very simple kind of way where God is like, listen, don't do this.

But you do this and then he kind of moves on from that and so I do find that Interesting that is difficult of a task and so many moving pieces that it has Really God has simplified it in the best way that he can yeah And really what it comes down to is the importance placed upon us as fathers to teach our children To discipline our children, to love our children, that's what it comes down to.

And to do so in a way that, as you pointed out in Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4 says, don't provoke them to wrath. And that's an idea that's actually repeated a couple of different times. It's very similar to what we see in Proverbs 22 and verse 6. It's very similar passages, passage of scripture there.

But the idea is you're to teach and you're to discipline, but you're to do so in a way that doesn't. It doesn't anger your children, it doesn't bring about resentment, but it actually builds and cultivates the relationship between father and child in that process. And I think that's, that's a again, a heavy responsibility and a difficult job, but that's what we're being called to do.

How can I teach my children? How can I discipline my children? How can I love my children in a way in which we grow closer together? They grow closer to God. And there's not resentment in any of that. There's just love and affection that's shown. That's a whole lot easier to sit here and say than to do, but that is what we're called upon as fathers to do.

And that's why being a father is such a hard job because these are very difficult things to figure out, to understand and to implement appropriately, but it is something that we have to dedicate ourselves to continually growing in this role. I'm going to be better tomorrow than I was today. today because I'm going to continue to be prayerful about this, study about this, seek advice and counsel on this so that I can be the better father to my children.

Yeah. You know what's interesting? And again, you know, I keep going back to our discussion last week, but we did spend some time, you know, in a very similar kind of place that, you know, God lays upon us that responsibility to love. But yet he helps us to understand what that is by providing us that standard, right?

He says,  let me give you an idea of what that looks like. You think about Christ and his relationship with the church, that's the kind of love that I'm looking for. Well, we can do the exact same thing with the responsibilities that we have as a father, to love our children, to discipline our children, to teach and to lead our children.

We can ask, well, what really does that look like? Well, we can lean on God and his relationship with us. He is our. spiritual father. He loves us and that can teach us something about how it is that we can love our Children. He disciplines us and there's certainly a lot to learn about that and how we can discipline our Children and he leads us or teaches us and there are things that we can learn from that.

So we kind of have in a very similar kind of way that standard where God is here helping us. He says, Listen, I've done these things and now you can do those things. And It takes, I guess, then the difficult part becomes where my focus is. Is my focus going to be on these kinds of things that God has laid in front of me, or is my focus going to be what the world lays in front of my children?

And I think in a lot of ways, maybe even more so than the husband and wife, even though there is  World obstacles laid at the, you know, in the way of that relationship, the father or the parents to their Children, the focus obstacles in the way of that relationship and where we really need to be are prevalent.

It's certainly here in our country in the year. You know, that we're here at 2024, depending on when you're listening. Yeah, it is. There are so many obstacles and I'll tell you one of the big obstacles, I think, and this is really something that we see in both the father and the husband role is how that is depicted in many of our entertainment and TV shows, movies.

Music those types of things the the father the husband is often seen as the laughingstock He's the idiot of the family Nobody really takes him seriously. He's kind of lazy. He's kind of selfish and that's the picture that Culturally has been painted by Of the father and the husband, and obviously that is nowhere near God's expectation of what a father is to be, but that is absolutely something that we have to fight as fathers today in the world that we live in.

We have to fight that stereotype and not allow ourselves. To regress toward the mean, so to speak, where it's like, well, that's what society thinks of fathers. Anyway, I might as well just lean into it. I know we have to stand out from that. We have to be different than that because that is not what a father should be in the eyes of God.

A father is someone that is a source of wisdom.  He sets the spiritual tone for his family. He is a leader in his household. And I think, you know, we see a great picture of that in Joshua 24, which as Joshua is kind of nearing the end of his life, and he's talking about, you know, whether the nation as a whole is going to follow God, or whether they're going to go back and serve idols from other nations.

And Joshua makes the point that, listen, you do what you're going to do, it's up to you, you make that decision. But as for me and my household, we're going to serve the Lord. Joshua was a father that's going to set the spiritual tone for his family. And he, Joshua was not some lazy guy that's just going to sit back and let his children run all over him. 

No, Joshua stands up, and he sets the tone for his family, and that's what, as a father, we need to do today, and we have to fight against that stereotype that's put out there. Yeah, and I'll tell you, another stereotype that's kind of out there is, Especially when it comes to leading children, that that's the responsibility of the mother, right?

For the father, we have to realize it's a responsibility that God has laid, you know, on us as fathers. It's interesting, in Ephesians chapter 6, we've already made mention there at the beginning of verse 4, It to me, verses one through four is really interesting because, you know, sometimes listen, there are some points that could be made in a generalized way about verse four that, you know, when it comes to, you know, you, you don't provoke them to wrath, but bring them up in training and admonition.

That's the one job that That God has laid upon the father now the mother can be involved in that for sure and needs to be involved in that But he made mention of the father specifically and if in your mind you're like well, even though he said father there He meant parents or he meant mother and father.

Well, he didn't say that And he absolutely could have said that because literally in verse one, he says, children, obey your parents. And he says, literally in verse two, honor your father and your mother. So those are words that he can use.  But yet here in verse four, he. Puts this on the father, you fathers, this is your responsibility.

And so if we are a father and our, our soul thought process is, well, when it comes to my responsibility with the family, I'm to provide financially. Now we have that responsibility as well. And then. The mother is responsible for teaching. Well, that's not biblical. What is biblical is the father, as you made mention of, leading that family in the direction that God has told us to go in.

And so, yeah, when we look at then a passage like Deuteronomy chapter six, that talks about the importance of teaching our children in the morning, in the evening, in the morning, And teaching them God's law and everything that God has to be and making that a central focal point of our home. To your point then, well, who does that responsibility fall upon?

It falls upon us as fathers. We need to be the ones that set that tone in our family. Now again, my wife, my children's mother, they play a central role in that.  100%. It's a team. We are working in this together, but I need to be the one that sets that tone and I need to be the one at the forefront of leading that charge to make sure that in our home, God's law is going to be taught in our home.

The Bible is going to be respected in our home. The Lord is the leader in all ways. I have to set that tone. And if I'm not going to do that, that then puts my wife in a situation that God didn't equip her to be in. She has her own responsibilities that God equipped her for as her, as a mother to our children, as a wife, to me, I can't shirk my responsibilities and then place an additional workload on her shoulders that God did not equip her for.

I have to make sure that I'm fulfilling my role and my family's role. family. And that means that I have to set that tone. Yeah. And that job that we have, they're given to us in chapter six and verse four of Ephesians is to bring them up to the training and admonition of the Lord. And we made mention already of, you know, what our focus as parents needs to be.

And I think, you know, for us, at least here in this country, the greatest obstacle is pulling away from that focus and even it being good things, right? Right. I mean, I You know, I have mentioned just here, you know, in notes in front of me, whether it be things like being healthy or having a good education or a good paying job or their sports and their hobbies, even them being polite and kind or them being safe.

I mean, all of those things we want for our kids, all of those things we want for our kids. But if those things are happening and they're not being, trained in the ways of the Lord, then as a parent, even if all of those other things are taking place, I have failed as a parent. And so this has to be our focus.

And this is the one thing that has to happen. And I think that goes back to where you were in Deuteronomy, Chapter six, where you have this powerful passage  that makes mention of this kind of teaching. And when it happens, All day long and every day, and that's because it is in essence the one job that God has laid on us.

Not that any of those other things are bad. I want all those things for my children as well. But it ultimately will come down to Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4. And I so appreciate When anyone can take something that is extremely complex and boil it down into something that I can grab hold of and God does that for me.

The role of a father is extremely complex. It really is. It is, it is the most complex thing that I've ever had to deal with. But God in his masterful wisdom is able to boil it down and help me understand. Okay, what's most important here? What do I really need to be focused on? And what I really need to be focused on is training up my children in God's way.

Teaching them, disciplining them. I need to focus on that. Don't don't worry about everything else. But if you focus on that Everything else is going to take care of itself. And that is so helpful for me. And I think, you know, last week, as we wrapped up our talk on husbands, we closed in Colossians chapter three.

And so we thought it might be appropriate to do the same today as we wrap up our discussion on being a father. And we'll go back to Colossians chapter three, as, as Paul, as he's writing to the These Christians, he gives them some very simple and very direct instructions regarding wives and regarding husbands, regarding children, regarding children.

And then in verse 21, he says this, fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.  Thank you for listening this week. If you haven't already done so, we'd appreciate it if you would take just a second to subscribe to the podcast. Whatever platform you're listening rate and review the show so we can continue to spread the good news of Jesus widely And effectively as possible.

Thanks again for joining us this week, and we'll talk again next week