Thank you once again for listening to the Cultivating Growth podcast. Just like we did last month, this month we plan on taking a topic and kind of working on it for a few weeks, three weeks as is, and then that final week, that fourth week of the of the month, we'll kind of have a guest in here and we'll spend some time talking about all the things that we covered throughout the month.

This month's topic will be the family. We're looking forward to this conversation. We'll talk about husbands and their roles within the family and wives and their roles within the families. And then that third week we'll talk about the parent and child relationship and the roles that they have within the family.

God has a lot of direction to give when it comes to the family and we would be good to be paying attention to it. So I'm looking forward to this discussion, especially the one that we've got going right here. Let's get to it. 

Jeremy, you mentioned in the intro that we're going to spend this month talking about a few different topics surrounding the family, and we're going to begin this month in this discussion talking about husbands. You and I both are husbands and have been for some time, and so we're going to look to God's word to see what our responsibility is to our wives and what role we should be playing within our homes.

And we're going to spend probably the majority of our time in Ephesians chapter five. Uh, we may, we may reference a few other passages of scripture as well, but I think Ephesians chapter five. It is really a great place to begin any discussion when it comes to husbands and wives and the roles for each because of how simply Paul illustrates the responsibilities that each have to one another.

It's really not complicated when you break down what Paul is saying to husbands and to wives. He's giving us something important to consider. And for the husband, He makes the point in verse 23 that the husband is going to be the head of the wife. And then further down in that, he's simply going to say that we are to love our wives.

Now he's going to build out the context of what that looks like and what that means. But I think just initially it's important for us to realize that on the surface.  The responsibilities that have been given to us are not that complicated. Now, the application of them is challenging and important to dissect and understand, but understanding what the responsibility we have is not complicated.

We are to be the head of our wife and we are to love her. Yeah, you know, when you start to think about, um, you know, the marriage relationship, and, and we're going to spend time in Ephesians chapter 5 for sure, but scripture has a lot to say about the marriage relationship. I mean, you go all the way back to Genesis, you know, chapter 3, or I mean, Genesis chapter 1 even, and you start to see, you know, the importance that God places upon this, you know, world relationship, and this world relationship, and there's a lot of examples that's been given on, uh, a good, proper marriage and how it operates.

And there are examples shown on how a, uh, a damaged, you know, relationship and how it can operate. And so when you work your way through the page of the Old Testament and you get to where we are here in the New Testament, it is. A very simple kind of way to look at it, especially in Ephesians chapter 5.

There's a lot to say about the family, especially the back end of that chapter. And each and every role that Paul will spend time talking about, whether it's the wife, whether it's the husband, whether it's the parent, or whether it's the child, you know, kind of leaking into the beginning of chapter 6.  In a lot of ways, it's kind of, here's one thing to think about. 

Now there's a heaviness. placed upon the husband. We'll talk about the love that we are to have for our wives for sure, but you may mention it rightly so. The husband needs to be paying attention before verse 25 because you don't want to lose sight of what is said in verse 23 because in a In a lot of ways, that is the heaviness of the responsibility, that we are the, we, as a husband, we are the head of the wife, we are the head of the family, and we have to be able to shoulder that responsibility, and we've got to accept that responsibility, relish that responsibility even, but it doesn't change the fact that that's exactly what it is.

It is a responsibility, and as a husband, I've got to be ready for it. Yeah, it places on our shoulders a responsibility of leadership, and we understand regardless of the setting, when you're in a position of leadership, that comes with a significant responsibility, and that means that the buck stops with you.

That you are the one ultimately that's going to be held responsible and you're going to be in a situation where you may have to make some tough decisions and others are going to be looking at you when things are difficult. And that's a responsibility that the husband is to bear, not because. The wife is incapable of it, but because God has given on to us, the responsibility of protecting her and shielding her and loving her selflessly.

And that means being there to, to be that responsible leader of our households. And I think it ties in then with the second part of this that we've talked about is the responsibility to love her. The way that Christ has shown to us love. Well, Christ has shown to us a selfless love that's almost difficult to comprehend.

I mean, He has literally given up heaven and given His life for us. And He's the example that we are to look for as to how we are to love. To love as He has loved His church. Well, he died for his church. There is nothing that Christ wouldn't give up for the church. And so that is the type of love that we are to have.

And that is reflected in the way that we operate as a leader within our home. I'm not leading from a sense of pride. Or just a desire to be seen and heard, I'm leading from a position of selfless love that knows no bounds. It made me think back to what Jesus said in John chapter 13 as he talks about a new commandment that he's giving to love one another.

Which, that part of it is not actually new, but the standard that love is to be held to is the new part. The standard of love. is to love as I have loved you. And that's similar to what we're seeing in Ephesians chapter five. He's not just talking about a romantic love of some sort, but he's talking about a love reminiscent of how Christ loves his church.

And that's the standard we're to hold ourselves to. Yeah. When you think about it, you know, the bar that's set here by God for the husband and his love for his wife. I mean, the bar that God sets  cannot be higher. Like, there is not a higher level, a higher bar that can be set. He says, husbands, when it comes to the love that you have for your wife, you need to then look to one place.

That's it. You look to one spot. And you look to Jesus. And you look to His love. for the church. And, you know, and then you can read certainly about, you know, all that Jesus did and the sacrifices that he made, the steps that he took, um, the things that he set aside, the care, the compassion that he showcases, um, the direction, the leadership that he gives.

I mean, all of those things come into play. And so when you start to think about, you know, the love that you have for your wife and you only have, but that one bar, yeah. If you are underneath that, you then are short of what God says a husband then is to be. And, yeah, there is a simplicity to it, as you made mention. 

There's basically one thing, kind of, you know, to be thinking about, but if your love for your wife is falling short of Christ's love for his church, then you are short of what God says a husband is to be. Yeah, you know, there's another really important aspect to this, and we'll probably talk about it also next week when we talk about the role of the wife, but this responsibility that we are given as husbands to be the leader of our wife.

And to love her selflessly is not contingent upon her fulfilling her role.  That cannot be said loud enough in either one of these conversations with the husband or the wife, it does not matter. If the other spouse is fulfilling their role, I still have to fulfill mine. Husbands, we still have to fulfill our roles.

We still have to be a leader in our home, and we still have to love selflessly, regardless of what your spouse is doing. And the same is going to be said next week when we talk about the wife and the responsibilities that she has to her husband. These are responsibilities that we are to fulfill because this is a responsibility God has given to husbands.

It is not contingent upon the other one fulfilling their role or their responsibility. I think so many times, I mean, I've, I've seen it firsthand so many times where husbands and wives begin to drift away from each other. They begin to argue, they begin to fight and immediately. When talking to one or the other, they are blaming their actions on the actions of others, the, the, the other spouse.

Well, the reality is, is regardless of how the other person is acting, you still have a responsibility to uphold the, the, the role in your home that God has given to you. And that is something that I think husbands and wives both need to be, give serious consideration to. Regardless of how the other is acting, am I being the kind of husband that God wants me to be?

Yeah, I mean, and, It is really interesting in this context, you know, especially here in Ephesians chapter 5, and we're thinking about this kind of love. There really is kind of an interesting, you know, move that even still talking about Christ in the church that Paul will take here, you know, verse 28, you know, well, it's a passage we're familiar with.

Husbands, love your own wives as your own body. He who loves his wife loves himself, and then he gives the reason for that, and I think sometimes we lose sight of 31 because, and ultimately, he doesn't just say do this. He gives, he gives the reason for that. Now, you know, he says, listen, it makes logical sense.

You know, no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, and then you start to think, well, wait a minute. I thought he was talking about the wife. Well, no, then we're reminded that We are members of Christ's body. We are members of him, and that was God's design from the very beginning.

And so, Paul goes literally back to the very beginning. It quotes from the book of Genesis that, you know, a man is to leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. Well, what does that mean? Well, the two will become one flesh. And so now you start to see the intensity of what this relationship is all about.

And certainly maybe there's room to talk about this more, you know, a little bit next week, but you know, now you start to see the love that, you know, that we are to have for our wife as our own body. Well, that's not an In crazy hypotheticals, that is in a literal sense, because she is now, we are one, we are one flesh. 

And when you can really start to grasp hold of that, the love side, you know, certainly comes easier, I think, but certainly there's more sense to it when we're able to see it that way. Yeah, I've always loved how, you know, here we are in Ephesians chapter five, you know, kind of near the end of our New Testaments. 

Paul is talking about a marriage relationship that God created from the very beginning, and he points back to the fact that nothing has changed. The way God designed marriage from the very beginning. is how marriage is still to operate today, and it gives us the confidence that moving forward, the plan and the structure that God has for marriage has not changed.

These are the responsibilities that he's given to each of us, and we have a responsibility to fulfill them today, just as people in the days of Paul did, just as people all the way back in Genesis did. It's still a responsibility that each of us have. You know, it's almost reminiscent of Jesus when he got into a discussion, you know, with the people of his time about marriage, and he says, what are we talking about here?

You look all the way back to the beginning, and since the beginning, it is unchanged. That is the way that God intended marriage to be, literally all the way back in the book of Genesis, and Jesus pointed people back to it then. Paul is pointing, you know, readers back to it today, and that's what we're doing today, right?

We're pointing people, you know, back to that as well. It is a beautiful, most perfect relationship that God has given direction for, and he gave direction for it. All the way back to the very beginning, with that idea of the two will be one flesh, and therefore, love your wife as Christ loved the church.

Yeah, let's wrap this up at the end of Ephesians chapter 5, and verse number 33, and we'll conclude today with this passage of Scripture, and then we'll pick up the conversation next week. Talking about some of the instructions that have been given to wives. Ephesians chapter 5, verse number 33.

Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  Thank you for listening this week. If you haven't already done so, we'd appreciate it if you would podcast. Whatever platform you're listening. rate and review the show so we can continue to spread the good news of Jesus widely and effectively as possible.

Thanks again for joining us this week and we'll talk again next week.