Hello, and welcome back to Cultivating Growth. I want to thank everyone for joining us again this week. We are going to be continuing our conversation of the family this month with a discussion today on the wife and the responsibilities that God has given to her. As we did last week, we'll probably spend a lot of our time in Ephesians chapter five.

We may reference some other passages as well, as we look at what God has to say. To the wives and to the roles and responsibilities that he has given to them. And so with that, let's get right to it. 

Well, John, you started our conversation last week and making the point that is the reality that as we spent some time talking about. husbands and their role within the family. As we spend that time talking about the wife and their role with the family, you made the point that you and I are both husbands and we've been husbands for quite some time.

And we certainly can't make that point today. We are neither one of us a wife, but yet we, we have wives and we've had wives for some time. But even in the face of that it still is the direction that we're able to, to gain from God's word that, you know, God has been pretty clear, not, not just about, you know Specifics about the family,  principles about marriage itself, roles specifically for the husband and for the wife.

He's been pretty specific and he's been pretty upfront about the family, about the marriage, relationship, and about the roles that the husbands and wives themselves need to be taking on. It's, you know, we talked a little bit about this last week and I think we can Continue talking about it this week.

But one of the beauties when we consider the roles and responsibilities given to us is that this relationship goes all the way back to the very beginning.  God talked about this with Adam and Eve in Genesis chapters one and two, and he talked about the responsibility of them joining together as one.

And Eve being a helper for Adam and, and the beauty of that relationship began at that point in time. And it's continued throughout scripture. And we see in Ephesians chapter five, you know, one's very specific aspect of a responsibility that the wife is given to be submissive to her husband. Where really, when we take a step back and we look at this relationship as a whole, we can see the importance that the wife plays in this bond that she and her husband are to have.

That they complete one another and God designed them perfectly for one another. And it is good and is needed for a husband to have that helper with him to, to be that person that nothing else could fill for him. There was nothing else as God. surveyed the world that he created, that was suitable for a man.

But the wife is that perfect final piece in this relationship. And so being able to look at it from that perspective of all the way from the beginning to the very end of scripture the beauty of this relationship is really highlighted. Yeah, you know, to build on that even a little bit more, I love the, you know, the, the words that you're using there, especially when it talks about, you know, that the wife has completed the man, that they, they are, they are a unit, they are a togetherness, and you're right, you can go back to Genesis chapter 2, and, you know, the story unfolds there, you know, as Adam is, He's created first and he kind of has creation the animals specifically to come in front of him.

And he's noting the pairing of these things and, and God certainly takes a note that man is alone. And he says, I'm going to fill that need. And the way that I'm going to fill that need is I'm going to make for him a helper comparable to him. And I do think it's interesting that even in that moment, that when God sees the need that.

That man has that Adam has. He doesn't create for him a father or he doesn't create for him a mother or even a child or a close friend. He creates for him a wife and then even in Genesis chapter two, there is a powerful principle about marriage that's made. And we know that it's a generalized principle about marriage because in verse 24 of Genesis chapter two, God says, you know that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his to his wife and they shall become one flesh.

Well, we know it's a generalized principle about marriage because Adam and Eve at that time, they didn't leave their father and mother and cleave to one another. They didn't have a father and mother. And so God now is extrapolating forward throughout all of history that this relationship is so close and it is so intimate that there's not two of them even more, there is one.

And so it is a relationship that complements in so many different ways. And so then when you get into passages like Ephesians chapter five,  And you read the roles that the husband is to have, and the wife, as we're going to be talking about. It helps, I think, with an understanding of what God says marriage is to be, all the way back from the beginning.

Yeah, if there aren't well defined roles and responsibility within this relationship that is intended to be harmonious, In every way, then what can happen is the two can clash instead of become one. But when there are clearly identified roles that are given within this relationship and each fulfills those roles as they are.

to do, that's when the harmony and the oneness can really be seen. And so we've talked last week about the responsibility for the husband to be the leader and to love his wife selflessly as Christ did. And the instruction that Paul is going to give in Ephesians chapter five to the wives. is to be submissive to their husbands.

At the end of the, that chapter, he'll use the word respect. She is to respect her husband. There is to be a clear role that she is fulfilling. She is to be that helper. She is to be that supporter. She is to respect and encourage him.  That, that relationship can only be what God designed and intended it for to be. 

She is fulfilling her role and the husband fulfilling his role if they are each trying to fulfill each other's roles Or different roles altogether. That's when conflict is created. But when we see how God has designed these two pieces to fit together so perfectly,  and we live into that role that has been given to each of us, that's when.

The harmony and really the power of this relationship is unlocked. Yeah, and what God does you know, through Paul in his writing, especially to the brethren Ephesians chapter 5, you know, as we made reference last week with the husband and the bar that's set, that the love that he has to have for his wife is the love that Christ had, you know, for the church.

And when you read about the, the role that the wife has to have specifically in verses 20 through 2 through 24, you know, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, specifically there in verse 24, again, therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, let the wives be to their own husbands and everything.

And so now you have this analogy again, you know, with reference to, you know, think about Christ and your, as a member of his church, your subjection to him. But again, when you begin to think about those things. Listen, it's very easy to be subject to Christ because we can see what Christ has done for us.

We can see the love that he has had for us. We can see the wisdom and the direction that he provides for us, the comfort, the care, you know, all of those things. And that, again, is the picture that God says that the marriage should be. be that, you know, the love that the husband would have for his wife would be on the level of the love that Christ has for his church.

And then for the, the woman, the wife to be subject to her husband, to submit to her husband or to respect her husband, as made mention of verse 33, isn't this big cultural problem that, you know, sometimes our culture tries to make it out to be it becomes something very easy because you look to the love, the care, the concern, the compassion, the wisdom that the husband has for the wife, and then the wife is then able to subject herself to that.

Yeah, that word, I think you made a good point. The word sometimes creates some confusion,  certainly as we consider the role. But the, the way that it relates to Christ in the church should help clarify. What he's talking about there, because as a member of the Lord's church, I cherish, cherish Jesus more than anything because of what he has done for me in the selfless love that he has shown to me, and he has lifted us up.

He has exalted us, and so the relationship between Christ and the church. Couldn't be any closer to the point where you just cannot separate the two. You can't have one without the other. And the amount of love and compassion that is shown between the two is remarkable. That's the picture that the Holy Spirit is using to help us better understand these roles.

That the husband and the wife are to fulfill the submissiveness that God calls on the wife to have is not demeaning to her in any way. It is fulfilling to the relationship that he is striving for us to have in the same way that the church is submissive to Christ. He has done so much for us and given so much for us.

We love and respect and honor him in return. It's not demeaning in any way. It is actually exalting both parties. When we are acting the way that we should to Christ, and Christ obviously toward us. And so when we look at the husband wife relationship, neither is being elevated or demeaned. If we are both fulfilling this role as we should, both are being exalted as a result of that.

And again, this is going to be made possible if from the side of the wife, and that's what we're talking about today. Yeah. Truly has belief and has faith that God's design for the marriage relationship is not just the right way. It is the best way. Yeah. And, and if that belief is there, then they're going to go along with the direction that God has said for the marriage, specifically even for the wife.

You know, I, I made this point last week in regards to the, the husband, and I think it's an important one to, to make. This week as well, you know, I mentioned last week that the love that the husband is to show to his wife is not contingent upon her fulfilling her role of responsibility in that relationship.

And this goes both ways. The submissiveness and the respect that the wife is called to have for her husband is not in any way contingent upon him being the man that he is supposed to be. Now, it certainly makes her role a lot easier. Right. If her husband is the man that God wants him to be, but the responsibility for her to treat her husband with the respect that God wants her to is not contingent upon him just as the husband's love for his wife is not contingent upon her.

And that's important for us to recognize that Even if you're in a relationship where one or the other is not being the kind of person that God wants them to be, the other still has the responsibility to fulfill their role within that relationship. And in doing so, hopefully sets an example for their spouse.

To better serve God in their own capacity and to live into the roles and responsibilities that God has given to them. But that's an important thing to consider that, that these responsibilities that God gives to both the husband and wife are not contingent in any way upon the other, fulfilling their responsibility.

Yeah. I mean, listen, the idea of submission isn't new just right here to wives, to husbands. The idea of submission is throughout the New Testament, whether it's our submission to Christ or our submission to one another, our submission to the government. Our you know, slaves submitting to masters, I mean, you read about all of those things and I think that goes to your point, but what we get in Ephesians chapter 5  is the perfect picture of marriage and how God has designed it to be and even in the context, specifically in verses 30 and 31, as it is looked back to the very beginning that we referenced already in Genesis chapter 2.

Well, let's close it right there. We we'll close with a passage in Ephesians chapter 5 where we've been where we were last week as well. Next week we're gonna stay in the same context. We'll leak into chapter 6 a little bit. But Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 33, as this chapter closes, we'll close with this idea.

Nevertheless, let each one of you, in particular, so love his own wife as himself. 

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