Part 1 was Julien’s version of what happened, this is the part where I get to talk lol. Because apparently, one of the side effects of a family emergency is finding out exactly what you disagree about when everybody’s tired, somebody’s in pain, and your normal division of labor has completely fallen apart.

The injury may have been his, but the emergency affected all 3 of us, which meant we all had to adjust…and that’s where the conflict started. 

So instead of giving you a neat list of lessons from the last 5 months, we’re talking about what we actually argued about:

• whether expensive medical aids count as needs
• how much you can still expect from somebody who can’t walk
• what happens when their usual problems suddenly become YOUR problems
• how much pain and chaos your kid should have to see
• why “helping” can start to feel a lot like controlling
• and how a 9 year old watching his dad recover somehow became much better at roasting him

Most of these weren’t really arguments about the thing we were arguing about. They were arguments about capacity, control, care, and what happens when the way your family normally works suddenly doesn’t.

Turns out, “in sickness and in health” leaves out a lot of details..

Links: 

• Ep 222: Why we don’t share everything (and what we do instead) 
• Ep 245: The simplest way to talk about money without making it weird
• Ep 227: 10 years in | Money, marriage, and the lessons we didn’t see coming

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