Dr. Mary Claire Haver: The Ultimate Menopause Reset From Hot Flashes to Better Sex

Ladies, it’s time to take back control of menopause—and get hopeful! No more raw dogging menopause. This episode is your ultimate menopause game plan, Coop Chicks!

In this eye-opening episode, Kit sits down with Dr. Mary Claire Haver—the #1 menopause doctor—to get mad, educated, and hopeful. We break down the myths, the medical gaslighting, and the game-changing solutions that every woman needs to know. From hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to weight gain, libido, bone health, and brain fog, Dr. Haver gives us the real talk about what’s happening to our bodies—and how we can take back our power with proven strategies.

- Why are women STILL being dismissed when it comes to menopause?
- What does testosterone REALLY do for women? (Hint: It’s not just about libido!)
- Can breast cancer survivors safely use HRT? (This answer will surprise you.)
- Struggling with weight gain, brain fog, rage, sleepless nights, or painful sex? Here’s why.
- The BIGGEST mistakes doctors make when it comes to menopause treatment.

Dr. Haver is on a mission to change the conversation, and she’s not holding back with us. 

If you’ve ever felt dismissed by your doctor, confused by the options, or just freaking tired of feeling like a shadow of yourself—this episode is for YOU.

AND HIT LIKE, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE if you’re ready to JOIN US and feel AMAZING! It's go time ladies.

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This episode was produced by Kit Hoover and Harper McDonald. Business Development by Casey Ladd. Editing by You & Me Media.

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Transcript

This transcript was generated using AI. Inaccuracies may be present.

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Welcome to the coop. It's a very special day here. We have Dr. Haver in the house. I have to laugh because we've interviewed. So many a-list here. I work in entertainment and the biggest response we've gotten so far to date is having you in the coop, all of my girlfriends freaking out.

We always start the coop with one word to describe where you are in your life right now. Where would would you say that is? Driven? Driven, 

but haven't you always been driven? Always. That is like the number one word you ask anyone who knew me in college, in medical school, in residency. You know, in, in most phase of my life, it is driven.

And I, I used to take offense to it, like I wasn't a gunner in medical school. but I just have been driven by this demon sometimes to go, go, go.

And like my husband jokes like, you're never gonna get to the top of your mountain. Like, when are you ever gonna slow down? And I'm like. I just don't know how. Yeah. Well 

in this turn that you've taken mm-hmm. To become literally the guru of menopause, you are the [00:01:00] face of it. I don't if I ever mentioned the word menopause, your name comes up immediately.

That's just 

crazy to me. 

And how did that happen? How did this turn, take off? 

So, I hated menopause. I was. You know, did my O-B-G-Y-N residency medical school got one hour menopausal lecture. I was like, Ooh, old ladies. Yuck. And then I went to my residency and I developed more compassion, but still, it was something I was like kind of internally rolled my eyes at and was like, Ugh, the worst part of my job is gonna be this, but I like to deliver.

Babies and I wanna do surgery and like be a part of the joyful things and the fun things and like menopause is like a necessary evil. And then, you know, I was young and cute and having babies, but was it even 

taught that way? Like no. 

So, so, or was it even talked about that way? Yeah. In a four year curriculum.

And let me say, I am super proud of everything I learned. Okay. Important stuff. But where the gap was, was I got in reproductive endocrinology, which I did my second year. We had six weeks of it and once a week for one hour [00:02:00] we talked about menopause. So I had six hours of menopause education in a four year curriculum.

We had no clinics, nothing, you know, no nothing like here, we're gonna go take care of our menopausal ladies today and just focus on them. That was not, not, not six hours 

for half the population. And every single woman will go through this.

More women will go through menopause than bear children. Wow. And what do we attribute that to?

There's so many things, so forever in medicine, when you look historically, when you read, it's All On Her Head by Elizabeth Cohen when you read Unwell Woman by Eleanor k Cleghorn, the historical per, and these are historical perspectives of how women have been treated in medicine, basically outside of our breast and uterus and, and you know, the ability to bear children.

We were basically treated as small men. With breast and ovaries, so, like they did a study on heart disease. Well, we're just gonna apply this to everyone. And women were excluded from medical studies until 1994. Just, yeah, just let, that's it. Because they were worried about, you know, what had [00:03:00] happened years ago in the seventies was women were given thalidomide for nausea in pregnancy, which actually worked well, but it also caused some pretty horrific birth defects.

So. Rather than taking a thoughtful approach, and let's be more considerate when we're studying pregnant women, let's never study a pregnant woman again, so we don't harm her fetus. So we kind of just freaked out and excluded women, or even if they could possibly be pregnant. So all women of reproductive age were excluded from studies so that we wouldn't potentially harm the fetus.

And also women who have menstrual cycles are harder to study because. We cycle our hormones. We're not steady state and it's hard and it's expensive. We don't even study female rats and mice in the labs. Why? Because they cycle. 

This is baffling to me and it makes 

it harder. So, you know, that kind of perspective.

And then when you look at, look at funding, okay, so in 2023, now, you know this is 2025, we don't know what's gonna happen with the NIH. So, but like, let's look at historically, yes. In [00:04:00] 2023 in a 43, 40 $5 billion budget of NIH funding, women's health got about 15 million, and that was mostly some breast and ovarian cancer.

Okay. And pregnancy, not how females have heart disease or how females have strokes or how, because we disease differently. And then when you look at menopause, we got $15 million one five, so that's 0.03%. Point oh 

oh oh oh three to me. Yeah, 

budget went to study the health of women after reproduction ends.

That included the word menopause. 

So when you're in school, medical school, going through this, are any of your girlfriends thinking, this is weird, or, because we've been so conditioned, it's just, I'll take the six hours and I mean, that's, that's all I get. 

That's all I need. That's 

all I need. You know, I 

graduated from my residency with the top board scores, top shelf exam.

Blew, blew the top off of everything. You know, I was a straight A student, you know, blessed in that, in that fashion. I studied hard, but it worked right? I thought I was fine. I thought it was a great menopause. I [00:05:00] thought I knew everything I needed. I checked every box and I, you know, rolled up my diploma and went off into the world, open up that first office, you know, was ready for all the pregnant women to come see me.

But like all these other women are coming in complaining about, I mean, the top two complaints of which I was a dear in the freaking headlights where their menopause outside of hot flashes. And they're libido. And they're libido. Yeah. I did not know what to do, so I would walk out to my bosses who were men at the time, and men in their fifties and say, uh, Ms.

Smith has a, and they would say, this is just what women go through. Oh, it makes me so 

mad. 

Tell her to have some wine. Mm. He pat me on the knee, tell her to have some wine and relax. She'll be fine. 

My mom bug grown up in the south. I asked her now that I'm going through menopause, I said, mom, what did you do?

And my mom's like, oh honey, we were told we would not go to the whiny ward. So we just, no one talked about it. You 

know, my whiny woman story? No. Okay. So, oh my God, the whiny ward, this is like a thing. Okay. So when I. Was an intern. My first [00:06:00] rotation after my very first rotation was labor and delivery nights.

I'll never forget this. You have to stay up all night, deliver babies. It's this wild, crazy, you know, whatever. Next block was gynecology, and we spend half the time in clinic and half the time in the operating room. So clinic becomes a war zone. So we walk into clinic and there's 70 ladies sitting out in the waiting room of all ages, shapes, sizes, whatever.

They're not pregnant, but there's everything else to do with not being pregnant. The upper levels is four years of us, right? So we have four years of training. So the upper levels run to grab the surgery charts. They wanna operate, they wanna get their numbers and that, that's normal. The lower levels get whatever's left, vaginal discharge, itching.

So the lower the second years go grab the procedures. They wanna do the biopsies and take out the polyps and you know, the fun procedural stuff, not just leaves whatever else for us, the intern. So I go get my little chart, my upper level comes up to me and he says, what do you have? Open the chart. 40 ish, you know, 40 something year old woman with multiple complaints.

She's gaining some weight, she's a little bit depressed, she's not feeling good. And I think she landed with us 'cause her cycles were a little bit off, [00:07:00] and maybe a little bit heavier. And, you know, just, just this random bucket list, which I now know is perimenopause. But he looks at it, he goes, they check her thyroid.

And I go, yeah, 'cause she'd been referred to us, right? yeah, her thyroid was normal. She was not anemic. They did some basic blood work and he said, well, you got a whiny woman, a WW WW is what he said. What my Texas, you know, cowboy boots. Scrubs long white coat. You got a ww. And I said, okay, what's that? And he said, don't write this in the chart, but it's a whiny woman.

What? And he said, this is just what women go through at this age. Pat her on the knee, tell her she's gonna be okay. Get a couple more labs, make sure we're not missing. There's a lot of things that overlap that look like perimenopause, but he's like, we're not gonna be able to help her. WW This is him telling a young female doctor, I, I internalized that. Okay. We were taught that women tend to somaticize their psychological symptoms. Most of it is inner Head, please. So I've shared that story [00:08:00] across the country and I've had docs come up to me from different areas. It's also called Winny.

Gyne what? Madame Delores. Like in places with the large Hispanic and uh, TBD Total body delore, they would write little codes in the chart. This is baffling to me, Dr. Haver. Yeah. 

This wasn't that long ago either. No, this 

was in the late nineties, early two thousands. Okay. When I did my training. So 

this is how you were brought up?

Mm-hmm. And this is what was given to you. When did you make the pivot and think, wait a minute. There's a total disconnect. There's a whole need that is 

not being met. I am so ashamed to say it was my own. Experience experie with menopause. That really well that and my patients were kind of aging with me.

So I was starting to see patterns and, and these were women. Galveston's, a small town with a big medical institution. You know, we're bringing in a lot of women to our clinics and stuff from outlying areas, but I was taking care of the locals. Right. And the people who worked in the hospital and the PhDs, you know, it was a big academic institution.

I know these women. Yeah. I know, I know. You know, these are smart, hardworking, telling me they're eating the right [00:09:00] things. Telling me they're working out, telling me their lives are falling apart. It's in the fan I'm starting to be like, okay, okay, okay. This is not whiny women.

 this is not a woman just looking to complain. 'cause she doesn't like her husband. This is like, she's not doing well. Yeah. What's going on? Everyone's complaining of something on this spectrum. And then it happened to me. When it happened to you, what did you do? Did you look in medical?

My first, you know, I gaslit myself for several months because my brother had just died and right at the time when I had gotten off of birth control pills and was smack dab in the middle of late perimenopause. And so it took me a while to realize this isn't just grief, you know, my, my sleep, my loss of sleep, my loss of.

My cognitive abilities, my rage, my snapping at the kids, my not wanting my having to do anything with my husband. You know, this was more than just sad because my brother died an untimely death. And when the grief fog started to lift and I was still having X, Y, and Z, and then I thought, girl, when was your last period?

Six months ago? Mm-hmm. And then the hot flashes. And pretty [00:10:00] much if you're having hot flashes. That's menopause. That's menopause at that age, and I was 48 and I'm like, I'm too young. 

I'm too young, and as women, why do we do this thing? I'm sorry about your brother, by the way. Yeah. Grief is a whole nother subject.

We dive in here in the coop, but what women do, I think more than men, we tend to blame it on something. We tend to say, oh, it's the grief. Mm-hmm. We'll never really listen to what's going on with our body. Right. Until now where you've made it possible and stand up and say, Hey, this is how I'm feeling.

So you went through that, you're feeling this, and then when did you start finding research to really start helping women? So 

then what really, really, so it was vanity. It was my weight gain. 

Yep. 

It was the new, you know, for someone who always had thin privilege, we gotta 

fight 

that pupa outside of pregnancy.

And my patients had shook their bellies at me for years after, well, woman exam. And they're like, girl, what has happened? I'm like, I know everybody. This happens to everybody I know. Work out more, eat less. And then it happened to me and I was doubling, you know, okay, grief is gone. Get your shit together.

Mary, I could hear my brother in my ear who had died and he was, he had this [00:11:00] very unique personality and he'd be like. Girl, you cannot blame being fat on me anymore. And he's like, get your ass to the gyms. And so I did, and I was doubling down at the gym. I was calorically restricting to dangerous levels.

Wow. I did 900 calories for a while. Wow. You know, because this has to work. Yeah. I have told patients this for years and years and years, and they keep swearing to me that they're not eating. And I'm like, girl, you have to be eating. Count those calories, you know, you're under, you're underestimating what you're eating.

They weren't. Yeah, because I wasn't, you know, I'd lose the weight and it'd come right back. Like all the tricks and the things I used to do stopped working. So then I got mad. My husband was leaving for one of his overseas trips and I'm like, when you get back, you're gonna have the wife you deserve. I'm gonna be back, da da da.

And he goes, Lord, your girls are watching. So the girls were like pre-teen teenagers and he said, they're watching you look at what's coming outta your mouth. And he said. Fix it. You're smart, you're a smart girl, you're a doctor. You can figure this out. And he left. So I did. So I called the PhD nutrition department.

I said, what the hell [00:12:00] is going on? Yeah. With menopause and me and all my patients. And they said, well, there's some new information about inflammation and anti-inflammatory nutrition and it looks like menopause is causing inflammation. I'm like, what? I was like, menopause causes hot flashes. They're like, come look at these articles.

So I just go down Rabbit hole after rabbit hole after rabbit hole. So what started out as a quest for me to fix my own weight gain in menopause, which I now know is a body composition change and not really just weight gain. Then my cholesterol went outta control, my brain fog So I started, deep diving into nutrition. I got certified in culinary medicine, so I was like really getting into menopause and nutrition. So I start talking about that on social media and the world explodes. people are DMing me out the wazoo.

I was one of them about could my frozen shoulder be related to menopause? What about my palpitations? So instead of me saying no. ' cause I don't know. I'm like, let me look into it and get back with you. And my mind was blown. The new menopause, the new book, all that research was driven by people asking me questions on social media.

Incredible. You know, and [00:13:00] that's where I learned because when 10,000 women ask you about brain fog or about frozen shoulder, about palpitations or itchy ears, or, you know, some random symptom, I had never known to associate with menopause. I paid attention. 

It's just wild that you were the one that was curious enough to get the answers.

Let me, let me say, there are other people who call Pioneer pioneers, who are the one we are listening to. You are the one that broke through Yes. Work. Jim Simon, Wendy Mack, Lauren Stryker, you know, a, a laundry list of people, but they didn't have a microphone. they just didn't know how to utilize social media as a platform.

They're learning now and they're amazing, but. I was the right person at the right time. Like, I think I just was the first, to really use social media as an educational tool in a way that was respectful and curious and not authoritative and turning people off. I mean, other people were out there talking on social media, but I felt, but they're mean.

You were very relatable. Very, you spoke in a way that I could understand what you were saying, so I felt very connected. What [00:14:00] you'll never hear me say 

is, I'm the fucking expert. Listen to me. I'm like, I'm curious. Yeah. I'm gonna believe you instead of dismiss you. Let's go figure this out together. 

Yeah.

That's what I say in my clinic. 

so we are thinking today, we wanted to get mad, which we've been doing, get educated and then get hopeful. And part of the mad is relevant because of all my women friends, we all wanna know what can we do. Mm-hmm. Why aren't we covered by healthcare? All my friends with breast cancer are wondering, can they get on these hormones?

Nobody wants to dry up. Right? It's our time to be more vibrant than ever. Right? It is the number one topic that I talk about literally all day long, as soon as I jump on the phone with my girlfriends. So, where shall we start? Let's start with. What do we need to educate ourselves with right now?

Just the basics. I get the same questions over and over again. Women are blown away when I talk about the average age of menopause is 51, but it's still normal between 45, you know, 46 and 55 and perimenopause symptoms begin seven to 10 years before that, and that there are estrogen receptors.

Testosterone receptors. In almost every organ system in our body, there is [00:15:00] nothing that is off the table. Your cholesterol, your vitamin D, your gut health, your microbiome, the way you build muscle, the way you deposit fat is all affected by your sex hormones. And when they go catty WPAs and per and disappear in post.

You can't expect to go through this unscathed. You may have not realized that these things were connected. I mean, everybody knows about hot flashes and that has become the poster child, the cliche symptom, but it is literally every part of your body. 

So educate yourself. I love the word catty. Wampus, we're gonna put that one in there.

catty wampus. But you talk about, all of the symptoms and I think for my girlfriends, they don't know where to start. They don't know what to do when you start to feel this, like what should be the number one thing you have. So I 

wish I could tell them. Okay. when you get this laundry list, like we have a quiz on our website that is the menopause quiz, and it's a validated quiz using the green scoring system, which was developed like in the seventies.

Looking at, they don't even talk about hot flashes or your periods. It's like, are you having these symptoms and what is the severity? And it'll give you a score that says, what the likelihood that these symptoms [00:16:00] are related to your menopause. And women are shocked beyond all beliefs that their joint pain, their hair loss, their libido, their whatever, could have been related to these hormone changes.

And so then you educate yourself. Then you go try to find a partner who's gonna partner with you through the treatment process. And I wish you could walk into your OBGYN's office or your family medicine or internal medicine and expect to have a reasonable conversation. But because we are not training and teaching the frontline of doctors who take care of women.

Only 4% of women who are eligible are receiving FDA approved hormone therapy. And that was last year's data. That's crazy to me. 4%. 

So for me, right now, where I sit, I'm in it. Mm-hmm. And I've done nothing like, I'm your Guinea pig here. Right. So I don't even know where to do. So I called my ob, GYN.

She's like, well, I can't help you. You've gotta go see a specialist. So I called a specialist. At 

least she admitted. She admitted it. Like, I'm not your girl. No one taught me this, 

and I'm so fine with that. I am, but how frustrating. We better get this fixed by the time our daughters need this. Yeah. And so then I'm thinking, okay, so then I called [00:17:00] a specialist, 

 they can't see me for six months and it's not covered by insurance and it's a bunch of money right out of the gate. Mm-hmm. And then you talk to your girlfriends and they're like, you get the pellets, the patches, the thing. I'm so overwhelmed.

It is very overwhelming. Yes, we have a 

lot of options for therapy, thank God, because not the same thing works for everyone. And it is a little bit of trial and error, unfortunately. So you need a good partner. So, so where would you look? Okay, you could go to the Menopause Society and@menopause.org and they have a list of certified providers.

So the Menopause Society kind of started rogue about, you know, about 20 years ago because. No one's doing menopause. Well, let's make our own society and start writing papers and promoting research and, you know, amazing.

Then they started a certification program. So that's one place to start. It's not perfect, but you know, at least you know someone took the test and is trying, right? Yes. We have a resource on our website, that is we crowdsource our followers and we have thousands of testimonials of women who felt like they got great menopause care and we've organized them by city and state, worldwide.

[00:18:00] Okay, so that's another resource. Checking that. Yeah, there are some great online telemedicine companies. Some take insurance, some don't. That have been built specifically for menopause care and I've vetted three of them, but they do not pay me. But they, we have a menopause resource. Guide for free. 14 page PDF, how to find a doctor, what to Ask, what Labs to Ask for, you know, what is hormone therapy?

What are your options? You know, just to kind of give someone a basic starter kit with links to the medical journal articles you can print out and hand to your doctor. Thank you. You know, because these poor clinicians do not have time.

Yeah. 

You know, and it, it's impossible across. The board.

So we have so many hacks to try to help you, find a doctor, find a clinician who will help you, educate yourself so you're not kind of, railroaded into one type of hormone therapy that happens to be profitable for that doctor, you know, so that you can get a wide variety offered to you, which may be your insurance will cover.

Have 

options. This insurance thing, it's crazy too, right? That this we're half the population. Hmm. Everybody's going through this. It's not like only one in a million is 

gonna [00:19:00] get this right. And most women are candidates and it would be beneficial. 

What about, so do my friends are breast cancer survivors.

Mm-hmm. And there's all, there's that old myth out there that you do not go on hormone replacement therapy. So you, uh, history of 

breast cancer, cancer is a nuanced discussion, but is not, and let me repeat, this is not an absolute no. There are certain types. It depends on your stage, your grade, your receptor status.

 now everyone is a candidate for topical local estrogen therapy, active cancer or not. You can use vaginal estrogen, you can use alphamine, you can use the DHEA suppositories, right? Those are all FDA approved. You should not let your vagina go to waste. Okay. 

Did y'all hear that out there? I might have a repeat it.

So for all my girls, I'm serious about this. So you can get the topical creams, you, there are 

multiple guidelines out there. It is all clear, just we're not putting them in front of the clinicians, especially the oncologist, to say, give that vagina some estrogen. For god's sake, it does not absorb systemically.

We're not gonna [00:20:00] feed whatever tumor cells might be left behind. So, and then after some breast cancer survivors, after. Therapy is over and they're clear, might be candidates. it's a nuanced discussion, but what's happening is, nope, you can't have it. You can't have it. You can't have it.

And women's quality of life, especially our breasty, is suffering horribly. Yes. I mean, I've heard stories that would curl your toes. Massive oncologists, you know, from the big giant institutions looking at a woman begging for help with her sex life, who are told, use some coconut oil. Get outta my office.

If you ask me about estrogen again, I'll fire you. You know, like. Where's the humanity? Yes. Where's the understanding? Where is the appreciation for this woman's quality of life? It's outrageous. Well, especially 

what you and I were talking about, we're just hitting our stride in our fifties, right? You and I are talking about our career.

I'm leaning hard, listen, 

taking off 56 my best life. Yes. I am healthier, happier, wealthier, sexier. I have sex. I have better relationships, better boundaries. Yes. What I love about menopause mm-hmm. I ain't putting up with shit. I know exactly. I am like, oh no honey, we are [00:21:00] not doing this. I am not gonna set myself on fire to keep your ass warm.

Yes, I'm done. So when I think 

about 

the women that suffered in silence, like mm-hmm. We are just figuring out who we are. Mm-hmm. So now we need to be as vibrant in all areas as ever. And this is what you're having with, and have 

I not. Address my menopause, and I don't mean just slapping a hormone patch on Yeah.

I mean, change my nutrition. Mm-hmm. The way I move my body, the way I go get therapy now. Mm-hmm. The way I focus on relationships, the way I prioritize my sleep is my life. Same. You know? And if I choose to drink. I'm choosing not to sleep that night. So 

what is that? We don't know. This is not even, we don't even have to go down this path, but I had two drinks last night and wow, it knocked me 3:00 AM 

Hello.

Wake up baby, you girl. It's the craziest thing. And then you're up and you're like, and then I hurt her feelings and all the bad things I've ever done in my life. Well, not your minds racing. 

Even one glass of wine will do that to me now. Wow. 

We are not processing, tolerating alcohol. Any [00:22:00] way that we used to.

At this age in general? No. I 

prefer just not to do anymore. It's so funny. Mm-hmm. It's wild. And everybody's talking about that as well. Funny too, the patches, so it's just down in Atlanta. My girlfriend Peaches pulls down her runny pants to show me her patch. Mm-hmm. And it leaves a mark on you. 

It can. So my, I have very fair skin and No, but it's like numbers or something.

I was like, can we come up with a better, it depends on the patch. Mine doesn't do anything. Okay. All of these had like numbers. If I go get a spray tan, yeah. I'll have a little brown, you know, square there for, and then three other 

girls I was walking with pulled down their things to show me their patch.

I'm like, this is hysterical. Yeah. It's, it's my drug of choice. What about the testosterone cream? 

I'm a big fan. did you bring some with you? I'm in dire meat, so I use the AndroGel. and most of my patients prefer the AndroGel. So what, what, what is it called? It's FDA-approved formulation called AndroGel.

And we use it off-label for women. It's approved for men and it's a pea-sized amount. And, you know, the studies were done on the shoulder. Occasionally patient, you know, I'll, I'll do mine here 'cause I can, I need to see the pee and I can't. Yeah. C over there. And so, and I started it, you know, it's, it's, got great indications.

It's not FDA [00:23:00] approved for women for anything. That's a problem. But we have beautiful studies showing how it helps with hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or what you would call low libido. So when we're talking about, you know, woman's sexual health, she has to want to fix it, right? It has to be a problem.

It's causing her distress. she doesn't have an arousal disorder. She doesn't have a pain disorder, she doesn't have a relationship disorder. 'cause no amount of testosterone is gonna fix that. and she had a good libido and she misses it.

Okay. She wants it back, misses that intimacy and she can orgasm if she puts her mind to it. You know, all that's working. Those are the women that testosterone can be really, really helpful for. And there's also two FDA approved medications on the market one releases Melanocortin, it's an injection you give yourself like 45 minutes before. But a lot of patients are hesitant for that because you have typically have a praying Manus on the other end of that clock who is like, is working, hello is working, is I'm working. So 

 my patients are telling me Improved stamina. Yes. Improved muscle recovery, improved brain fog. You know, it seems to have some other [00:24:00] benefits. We need a lot more study here before I can say clearly, you know, if someone comes in with low energy or, or brain fog, let's start with testosterone.

We don't say that, right? But what I'm telling you is like when I give it for HSDD patients are coming back and saying, wow. So many aspects of my life are better. My girlfriend, placebo effect maybe. Yeah. Maybe Viagra has a 40% of placebo effect, so really go. Yeah. 

Yeah. I was playing pickleball and literally these three women, Harper and I were together were saying they're like, they feel like teenagers again, was this testosterone cream.

And it's just what's lovely. I didn't feel like that It's, but 

it's just more interest, you know, conversation. Just a little more like, oh, this seems like a good idea. Instead of, oh. 

Right. You're just a little more into it. Yeah. I thought it was really fun. Okay. 

Let's get educated and debunk three myths about menopause.

What would you say are the three big ones? That it 

has a shelf life? I mean, once you're menopausal, the effects of the ovarian failure, and I hate to sound, it sounds terrible, when our ovarian retirement affect us for the rest of our lives, your bones deteriorate. Your general urinary [00:25:00] system deteriorates.

It's a hundred percent of women. This will happen to, and this is. Not fixable, you know, like, like meaning it's not gonna get better on its own. We're going to have to work at those areas in order to keep those tissues healthy of the bladder, the vagina, the vulva, you know, and our bones. And muscles. So a lot of women think that it's just 

 hot flashes. That is a very small part of menopause, but it has been the poster child and literally all of the money that went into study menopause went into the treatment of hot flashes. So menopause hormone therapy was developed to stop a hot flash and for nothing else.

Turns out it will stop bone deterioration. People have better muscle strength. They have less incidents of insulin resistance. They have less diabetes, they have less cardiovascular disease if they start young enough like it affects our entire. 

Bodies, well, you think about estrogen, what you're talking about, the number one thing that's keeping us cranking.

And then it's gone. And then it's gone. It's depleted. And then we, 

we are surprised and then we're expected to [00:26:00] live the last, the last 30 years of our life without it. And look, you can raw dog menopause and you can be healthy and you know, good for you, but it's harder for most women and your most women's quality of life and their health span.

Will improve with the use of hormone replacement. That's my favorite. 

You can raw dog menopause. You need that on a t-shirt. You don't, 

but like women aren't being given the option, but now's not like, this is so great. Like, you know, if you choose not to use hormone therapy, your body, your choice and I a hundred percent stand behind you.

Yes. You're gonna have to really, you know, double down on your nutrition, your movement, your stress reduction, your sleeping, you should be doing that anyway. Right. You can be healthy without it, but it's harder. Yeah. 

God, it's so nice to have options. I just, I wanna go back and help our mom's generations.

Mm-hmm. When I think about this, 

why is estrogen so important to our overall health? Well, 

let's talk about our mom's generation. Yeah. Okay. So when, when my patients come to me, they, it's usually to put out the fire of menopause, like their life. They are debilitated because I don't take insurance, so I can spend an hour with my patients and not have an insurance company dictate what I can give her.

Thank you. Right. So but you know, it's expensive, right? For most [00:27:00] women. And so they are coming in like. Help me, Jesus. I have, I'm at the end of my rope, so we put out the fire, we get her back to functioning. She's not expecting to be 25 again. No, but we are stopping the brain fog, slowing down, the deterioration of her ability to be resilient to the life she has created for herself.

And so we give her back that. Okay. Now we're like, all right. Tell me about your mom. What are the diseases plaguing her right now? When I tell you it is. Frailty and dementia. 

Mm-hmm. 

And so women are living longer than men. I see the bro wellness and the the saunas and the cold baths and all this shit.

I'm like, any discussion of longevity for females without talking about the impact of the sex hormone loss. Yep. Is ridiculous. And guess what? We win. We live four to five years longer than men. Yeah, we win. But 25% of that life is in poorer health than our male twins. Right. Than our male counterparts.

And it is a life where we have much longer periods of loss of independence. And [00:28:00] that is what is scaring the hell out of my patients. And myself included, I have a mother with Alzheimer's. Yeah. Who just fell in broke hip for osteoporosis. And if she knew, she truly knew she would jump off a roof. You know and end it, but here we are.

Yeah. And the exact same thing happened to my grandmother and my sister and I, who's 50, she's three years younger than me, are like Uhuh. It's not happening to us. Absolutely not. I mean, there's no guarantees. Right. But what are the tools? What are the things that we can do? No one talk to our mothers about prolonging the life of their bones.

Yeah. That is absolutely a travesty and hormone therapy can be a part of prevention. Yeah, it will 50% cut your risk of osteo product fracture. What? That alone? That alone, that alone. Right there. It's DA approved for the saving of your bones.

Wow. And no one's talking about it. Did you go into your OB GN and talk about hormone therapy and her talk about osteoporosis prevention? Nope. Nope. Did they talk about dementia prevention? Nope. What are we doing? Yeah, because these are the diseases that are plaguing many of our elders. Does she talk about heart [00:29:00] disease, chronic heart failure, how we disease differently than men That may be statins.

When you break it down and you look at statin therapy for women versus men taken all together, statins prevent heart attacks, but not for women, just for men. Wow. They lower your cholesterol, but we have different kinds of heart attacks. Men have the LAD, the widow maker, the big vessels right coming out of the aorta that feed the heart muscle.

Female cardiovascular disease tends to be diffuse microvascular disease. Okay? Lowering cholesterol with a statin doesn't seem to affect her risk of heart attack. Primary heart attack, secondary. Yes. And so. I talk about that people go crazy and say, I'm telling women to stop their statins. I'm like, no, I'm not.

Why not? I'm saying we need more research on how females develop heart disease and what works best for them, and not lumping the data together and having all the pharmaceutical companies say Everybody needs a statin. It's crazy how the 

medical field can get ahead of it. 'cause back to the breast cancer, all of my girlfriends that are survivors are like, oh, I can't do it.

I can't do it. Because of that wonky [00:30:00] study way back when that caught wind that you couldn't go on it, it scared the hell out of everyone. It scared the hell of everybody. So. What was it with that study? Just so all my girlfriend, they begged me to ask this question. Just a sec. So, yeah, women's Health 

Initiative data, was developed 

 so before the WHI, 40% of women were on hormone therapy. It was recommended by the American College of Physicians, preventative for heart Disease and all these things, everyone should be on it. So about 40% of women were on it. Who were post menopause and the average age of women starting, it was about 51.

Those women had lower risk of cardiovascular disease, but that's not proof. Proof is a randomized control study. 

So Is this really gonna prevent a heart attack? So the average age in the study was 63. They excluded women with hot flashes. So these were women with who were minimally symptomatic.

 and the average age was 63. We had younger, we had older, they were putting women on their seventies on hormone therapy, and then they were measuring who had a heart attack. You were well on your way to a heart attack at 63 if you're gonna have one.

Yeah. By the way. Yeah. And so what we've learned, it did not help with heart disease and then they saw what they thought. that women who were on the [00:31:00] estrogen plus progestogen arm, or Provera, seem to have an increased risk of breast cancer.

It was like four out of a thousand. Okay. It was such a small, small, small. But when you look at absolute risk versus relative risk, you know, the absolute risk was so small, but the relative risks look huge but it never reached statistical significance.

Women who were on estrogen only had a 30% decrease relative risk. So it was 

the Progestin and now and then for the study to take off 

like that. But they went on national tv. Yep. They called a press conference. So. There were tens of thousands of women, but four dudes locked themselves in a room, decided and said, look, here's the paper we're gonna present.

Look at it. You have 10 minutes. They accepted no changes. They didn't hear any arguments. They went to the Watergate Hotel, they called a press conference and they said Estrogen causes breast cancer. I 

mean, that's just, and that was 

the end. That was the end. That was the end. 

But it's crazy that still today I have very smart girlfriends are like, oh, I can't go on it.

I'm like, Nope, Dr. Avers here. You can, or get educated on it to, it's a, it's a know. If 

you've had breast cancer, [00:32:00] you should not be automatically excluded. You absolutely can have vaginal, estrogen or the intrarosa. like, don't let them take your vagina for granted. Thank you. What are the other big myths that you hear?

oh, if you've had a blood clot, you can't ever use. Hormone therapy. You should avoid oral estrogen if you've had a blood clot or you're high risk for a blood clot, but you absolutely can do a transdermal estrogen product without increasing your baseline risk. Your risk is still increased because of your family history, of your genetics or whatever.

But we're not gonna make that worse by giving you a non-oral estrogen formulation. Any other big mess, that it ends. Yeah, you know that, there's a certain window of opportunity. There is no H at which you must stop hormone therapy. I think you're saying there's no endo menopause, there's no end.

You 

can stay on this for as long as you want. Yeah. 

For some women, if the benefits outweigh the risk, she doesn't develop absolute contraindication, and she wants to keep going. I might die with an estradiol patch on. 

Listen, I'll be right there with you. We're gonna be 115. We're gonna go out and style.

I'm going out with 

a 

moist vagina, that's for sure. Take me with you 

on that note. Is it ever [00:33:00] too late to start then? It's not. So 

that's a more nuanced discussion. So we have this like window of opportunity for cardiovascular, what seems to be cardiovascular prevention and why the US preventative task force is saying absolutely not.

We're not gonna list estrogen as a preventative therapy. That is a problem with medicine. With our institutions that is not looking at the data carefully. Circulation Magazine published this, you know, looking at the WHI data when they age stratified. And the younger women, the women who actually start hormone therapy at the usual time do see cardiovascular prevention.

50% decreased riskier for year, versus women who don't take it awesome. Estrogen is incredibly protective of our vascular system. It keeps the vessels elastic. It doesn't allow them to stiffen, which is why blood pressure goes up post menopause. It keeps the clots from forming the plaques and the keeps the, you know, it slows down that process.

That process is a natural aging process and menopause speeds it up dramatically for females unless she's on hormone therapy. Wow. All these benefits. Okay, I love this so what if she's 65 and she's still having hot flashes [00:34:00] and she's just miserable, you know, she comes in and so we go through the risk benefits.

We do a full, you know, cardiovascular risk work workup. 'cause American College of Cardiology has some parameters. We might order a calcium cardiac score, but we're gonna give her a chance. Yeah. I'm not saying no. That is not my job is to gate keep hormone therapy. My job is to weigh the risks and the benefits for her and let her make her own fucking decision.

Well, and to educate other people. 

I think for all of us, what I'm learning on this end is to educate myself. No, we gotta get angry and get back. We gotta educate ourselves to keep pushing forward, to get it. 

And I, when I think of the things that came out of my mouth in my first 20 years of practice. How 

dare I, my God.

Who wa who did I think I was that was gonna ask you if you could go back and tell your 30 5-year-old self. One thing about M puffs, pick up some fucking 

weights. Stop doing cardio all the time. Eat some goddamn protein and stop dieting. 

By the way, I just got your weight vest. Can we discuss this? Yes. So my new thing is literally is weights.

'cause I do love cardio. Like I just love being outside. But we've gotta, we [00:35:00] gotta check those bones. We gotta start lifting weights. Girl, 

protect your bones. Yep. Weight at best. Yeah. Huge fan. 

How to reclaim your power during this stage in our life. What would you say? The number one thing, this 

is the best part of your life.

And I just see women sidelined. I see one in five in the UK quit their jobs in menopause and pert is a crazy stat 10, at least in the us The economic impact of this, of women leaving the workforce when they should be leaning all the way in. Yes. You know, the kids are outta the house, they're ready. I, you know, and then we get hamstrung by, you know, a, a natural process that no one's addressing.

It's outrageous. 

What do you say to anybody listening that's feeling defeated right now? 

Don't. Don't. This is a wonderful time of my life. I've never been happier. But it, we have to rethink the way we do things. It's a toolkit. It's not a quick fix. There's not a, one and done here. It is kind of having to reshape our lives so that we can live these next 30, 40 years as gloriously as possible.

Where are you on the food? What are you doing? Food, exercise now? Different? 

yeah, so I'm prioritizing protein and plants. Mm-hmm. Instead of counting calories, [00:36:00] I don't count calories. It's the coolest thing ever, ever. I am focusing on fiber. So like if I track anything, it's how many grams of protein and how much fiber do you do that 

magnesium, anything on that 

per day.

I love magnesium. I eat a lot of pumpkin seeds. I have a little pack in my bag somewhere over there. I'm taking magnesium supplement to, I love that Magel urinate. It, it really is helping with some of my mental health stuff. And, I am for sleep. I'm using L-Theanine. What's that? So love that. So, yeah, that's a Stacey Sims, Dr.

Stacey Sims tip. So, oh, I want that. It's a non sedating anxiety, anti-anxiety kind of thing. So without putting, you know, giving you a sedative. So I sell supplements, so, yeah. You know, my patients were, thank you for doing that with bags and buckets of all this.

Stuff. And I'm like, what is this? And I'm looking and there's all these additives and preservatives and I don't know who's testing it. And I'm like sitting there like, I think I can do this better. Yeah. I think my patients deserve better than this. And you're the 

perfect one to be doing this 'cause you know exactly what you need and what you, so wait, what I, I 

don't sell menopause cures.

There's [00:37:00] no supplement that is gonna resuscitate a dead ovary. Sorry. That doesn't exist. Okay. But we are having nutritional deficiencies in this country. We are not getting enough fiber. We are, almost all of us are deficient in vitamin D for multiple reasons. And so I developed my supplement line to help the gaps where women are struggling so that we can optimize nutrition so then the rest of their body can work better.

I was sorry to hear about your mom with dementia, 

but what would she think about all this? I was thinking about, well, she had a 

good day today. She did, and her birthdays tomorrow, so I called her and I got good mom. You know, like you never know. It's kind of like a box of chocolates where, where, where her brain is.

But she was like, where are you? And I was like, mom, I'm in California working about that book. Right? You know, everybody's telling me you're famous. And I'm like, oh mom. And then she's like, I'm the mama. I'm the mama. I'm the mama. So her proudest day. Was when I was on the cover of Women's World. Yes, yes. And so I have a picture of mom holding up the magazine.

When I had made it in the grocery store, I had made it. That's the coolest, You know, we're from South Louisiana. She was showing everybody in the nursing [00:38:00] home, you know, so that that was a big day. She has it like pinned on the walls in nursing home of her.

What do your daughters 

think about this? 

you know, they kind of grew up with it, you know, mama was just a normal re regular basic doctor, mom, all the things. And like they've kind of since high school, college, like watched this. Star rise, and I guess you'd have to ask them. 

 I just 

think what you're doing with all this again, how great that their menopause journey will be so different than ours.

I really. They're not gonna take it for granted. Nope, that's for sure. 

Nope. 

And mom was the town gynecologist, so my kids were like, not gonna get pregnant, my kids got their HPV vaccine, you know, like they were not gonna get cervical cancer. They, but it's, it's cute because.

their friend's moms are now menopausal and like we're seeing all this synergy and I'm getting questions. Or Can you sign this book for my mom with my daughter's college friends? It's really fun. 

And then a cool, we were talking before we went on the podcast, 

you're now working with your husband.

Mm-hmm. You've been together how many years? 30. Well, together, we got together in 93, married in 96, so I've lost track of the math. It's a lot. [00:39:00] A lot. Yeah. A long time. Did you meet him in medical school? No. So before med school, so I was a geologist. 

Well I was doing oil and gas, so, and he was an oil and gas engineer. And we met at the coffee bar like he was, he was coming in to do a project in Louisiana and I literally met him at coffee bar and I was like, hmm. Who's that? And we started flirting and went out for dinner one night and that was it.

I was done. 

And I love where you're in your relat now, and I was 

like, I think I wanna go to medical school. And he was like, that sounds cool. He didn't know we had to pay for it, but yeah, he knew what was coming next. Yeah. So we were together all of medical school. We got married in my, third year, but we didn't live together.

we did it backwards. We like dated. Got married and we didn't move in for a full year because we were in different cities, you know, with school and work. And then we ended up, I matched in my top choice residency in Galveston, Texas, which is where we live now. And he commuted up to Houston for his job.

How perfect. Mm-hmm. And now he's helping you? Yeah. So he, he met, he met that, you know, magic. Rule of 90 if anybody [00:40:00] knows, you know, all these retirement rules. So the minute he hit it, you know, he was already kind of putting a toe in the water helping me because things were like crazy expanding. 'cause we have so many business lines now and I was just over my head with contracts and lawyers and negotiations and so he kind of stepped in to, to be helpful and then really was loving it.

He has an MBA and so. When he was contemplating retiring, I'm like, look, if you like go back full time, I'm gonna have to hire someone to do what you're doing. Yeah. And pay them your salary. And he was like, oh, since you put it that way and now he is like rocking, socking running. It's so cute because like he works out of the kitchen living room area and I work out of the office and I can hear him on calls and it's just like.

Freaking hot. You know? How cool is that, watching him? 'cause I've never seen him work before. No. And now we're working together and we actually get along better. 

I think that is the coolest.

What a great back nine for you. Like what you've cultivated, especially with your relationship. That's super cool. 

So that is hot. It's really worked out. I know. We're lucky. You know, not everybody gets that. So Luck's, when 

preparation meets opportunity, it's working nicely. Alright, let's [00:41:00] get random. Dr. Haver, here we go.

Any funny or unexpected stories from your own menopause journey? 

Oh my gosh. Share 

the wildest one. 

Oh my gosh. I mean, this whole journey has been nuts. You know, hot flashes in weird places like, like in the operating room and you know, absolutely feeling like I was gonna faint and like. Like sweat dripping down my breasts between, you know, while I'm in a gown and all these layers and I can't get out of it, you know, feeling like I was gonna die.

some pretty good rage stories and, and my daughter saying. Yeah. So you going through perimenopause while I was a teenager was really hard, right? Like she's, we're in this together, right? We're both apologizing. She's 24 now. Like, sorry. You know, it's all good. Now we're good. Okay. 

what is in your bedside drawer?

Oh my god. Okay. I used to just throw my bed head down. I mean, I had a funny video about this on, on social, but I used to just lay down and go to bed. The end, right now it's like my altheine, my progesterone. I take a little extra estrogen. I have some backup meds in case I wake up in the middle of [00:42:00] the night.

I've got my water. I have some extra electrolytes, you know, I have the fan, I have, you know, we're contemplating getting one of those sleep eight beds with the queen stuff running through, like we have different body temperatures now and. and a stack of books, you know, which I don't read.

They're just decorations and um, 'cause I just surf the phone on the internet 'cause I'm. Shouldn't be doing that, but I can't. It's work. It's just so 

addicting. 

Yeah. 'cause you in bed at 

night and it's just that one last scroll. I know. Lemme just see. Lemme just see. Lemme just see how 

that video did. Yeah.

You know, 

so my mom, by the way, is so cute. I posted a picture of my parents when they were married today, and her name is B and she'd be like, honey, uh, read the comments. What? What do they say? And she loves, that's God. How many are you from Atlanta originally? Okay. So it's so funny. Yeah. Let's just see how that post did.

She loves it. what's the deal with lube? Any suggestions? 

Absolutly and every time, every intimate encounter. So you wanna do an oil or silicone based lubricant, you really don't wanna do water based, so not like a plain ky. it evaporates and you know, things take a little bit longer these days and so you want it there working for as long as [00:43:00] possible.

So we need something more slippery. And I tell my patients, I don't care if you're, you know what shape your vagina's in, you should be using a lubricant with every intimate encounter. It's fun too. And then there's moisturizers, which are different than lubricants. So lubricants are like slip and slide and for to reduce friction, right?

Moisturizers, A lot of women struggle, like when I hike in shorts, you know, things chafe, right? My anatomy is not the same. Things have shifted mm-hmm. In the area. Mm-hmm. And so I can't like, take for granted that a long hike in shorts is not going to be disruptive. So I'll use a moisturizer in that case that kind of holds, high, hyaluronic acid holds like a hundred, a thousand times whatever it is.

Like a lot of water. So it'll keep things kind of moist in the area. So I'm not like dry and, and chappy. 

Did you hear that? Ladies double up on that. Oh, I love this one. If menopause had a positive rebrand, what can we call it? Oh 

my God, it's, I, oh God, that's a good one. Let's come 

guys, we gotta come up with a good one.

I mean, 

you know, we have, we have, I live in the metaverse, my friends of the menopause, you know, we're, always putting [00:44:00] minow in front of everything. My min power min fabulous. Minow. 

We gotta change it, right? Strong min strong. Yeah. 

Min vibrant, War. Don't get into a men war.

War. Men war. 

Yeah. There's, you know, not everyone is a fan of Mary Claire, and so sometimes I write essays and then I just send them to my friends. I'm like, and they're like, don't post that, but you, you can share that here, but don't post it. You don't wanna start a men war. I think you do. I like you. We got shots fired.

Sometimes I'll be like, shots fired. They're like, no, 

no, no, no. We're good. Keep firing those shots. Shots. You're Glen to the 

good witch. You know, we need you. 

What should every menopausal woman keep in their purse for emergencies? 

Oh my God. Kleenex. Kleenex. Dry those tears, baby. Mm-hmm. It's gonna get better.

It's gonna get 

better. There's hope and lube. Get the lube. There's hope. Uh, if you an extra 

HRT patch. 

I cannot wait for the patch. 

if you could assign one emoji to describe menopause, what would it be? 

God. A thumbs up. Thumbs up. I love it. You know, I love this part of my life.

I'm so freaking happy and I can't wait for the next 30 years. I no stress on [00:45:00] my children. I want grand babies. Yeah. I want vacations with them. I want, I mean, literally that's all I think about is like when I think about the future, is like my family. Yeah. And like enjoying this life that I've built and you know, if they have children.

 So Chris and I are like, all right, we have a window before the grand babies. May, may or may not come. So let's go travel everywhere. Let's go do all the things. Let's go like kick it up. Because once the kids come, we're probably gonna.

Wanna be close. That's what it's all about. 

Yeah. I love the thumbs up. That is so hopeful and every woman needs to hear that, right? Like, this is why we started this podcast. There's a 

reason that, okay, so I had a patient come in and the first thing I always ask a patient is, how can I be of service to you today?

I've already read through their stuff. We do a full history before they get there. You know, I have their body scan, I have all their blood work, I know what we're doing, you know, but I need to let them unpack all their stuff. So I'm like, how can I be of service to you? And she plops down and she says, Dr.

Haver, I deserve to feel amazing. Amazing. Not just good. I wanna feel amazing. And I said, yeah, you do. Mm-hmm. Let's do it. Let's go there. God, I love that. Like you deserve not just to like make it and survive. [00:46:00] You deserve to be fucking kicking ass right now. 

Yes. We talk about it all the time, especially where we are for a lot of us becoming empty nesters, right?

We've raised our babies, we've dedicated our bodies, if we're lucky enough, have gone through all of that. Mm-hmm. And now it's our time and we don't have to suffer in silence. Right. Thumbs up everybody. Final question in the coop. 

Dr. Haver, what turned you on? 

Man, happy patients. Yeah. You know, seeing people's lives change.

Seeing people who were in that, that bad place where they weren't thriving and then them sharing and them becoming the people they were meant to be and that they were on the track to be, but menopause took that away from them. It's not everyone, but you know, really seeing the lives that we can touch and change.

And what are you manifesting? 

Next. Did you see this path for you? So, no. Mm, 

maybe a little. Yeah, I be, you did? Maybe a little, maybe I haven't thought about it. You know, like, like, my therapist, one of the things she's like, is like, you know, what's your one year plan, your five-year plan?

 and I said, if I would've put this down a year or five years ago, I would've [00:47:00] undersold myself. So I'm hesitant to like. Put something down and it's way lower than what I deserve. Why would you have undersold yourself? And she said, 

 You just keep doing what you're doing and it is in God. It is. Whatever God's plan for you is gonna be. It's gonna be. Why back then would you have undersold yourself? Because I just could never have imagined writing a book that would be a number one New York Times bestseller that would reach change so many lives that would change a conversation that my social media and silly on social media would touch so many lives and change.

You know, how the millions of followers, the millions of emails, the million, you know, just this incredible network, this team that we've built, I'm pointing over at my team, cute team, you know, this, you know, all of these lives that we're changing for the better. I never, never, never, never, never. Fur would've thought.

So if there was one thing though, manifesting, so we've got all this. It's, 

that our daughters mm-hmm. It's not a big deal 

at all. 

At all. 

At all. And every doctor you go into, they got this, every doctor you walk into, they, yeah. Girl, this your menopause. Let's talk 

about your options. Mm-hmm. What do you wanna do?

Let's talk 

about your bones. Yeah. Yep. Let's talk 

about your brain. Let's talk about your bones. [00:48:00] How are we gonna keep those healthy as, as we get our heart? Let's talk about your heart. Yep. You know, how are we gonna do this? What do you wanna do? Gosh, what do you wanna do? It'd be great. 

what's your mom's name?

Mary Margarite. But we call her Magie. Magie is her. Yeah. There were so many Mary's, there were like 12 in her class. 'cause Catholic, French, Louisiana. Yes. And uh, so they all went by their middle names and Margarite was long. So, Magie. 

Well, Magie, if you happen to be happy listening, happy Birthday happy birthday.

We love you, Magie. We hope you're having a great day. And you should eight. Be so proud of your daughter, 88 and feeling great's gonna die. She, I love this. thank you for coming on. Thank you for all that you're doing for all of us. Keep kicking ass and we'll keep doing whatever you are putting out there for us to do.

So thank you very much. 

Thanks for having me.

 Oh, Harper Raw dog Menopause. Who knew? I've heard about this.

Said term before, never within the context of menopause. I love how she said we don't 

have to gut it out anymore. Like that alone was just so refreshing. I felt like I learned so much in this interview. So much What [00:49:00] did you learn? I learned first of all that.

You gotta step up for yourself, like you gotta want it, and then go get it. And hopefully if we do it all right, our daughters won't have to do this same path. We're kind of in it for fighting it, but I got that. You can be vibrant, ladies. It's time to kick up your heels. Yes. And get busy in every aspect of your life.

When I asked her the one emoji to describe menopause, she did thumbs up. I love that. That's where I wanna live. That's what I like to hear. It's 

so awesome and Her patient that she spoke about who said, I want to feel amazing, amazing. I deserve to feel amazing. Yes. Yes. I mean, you and I have spoken about all of our symptoms and honestly, we might be some of the too few people right now of our friend group who are both not doing anything.

Anything. Now, it's not that we're not healthy. It's not that we don't eat well, and it's not that we don't exercise in our lifestyles. We're doing the things, but in the hormone replacement therapy arena, you and I are both not participating and. I've literally come out of this conversation that the two of you had, and I like her.

I wanna be driven and I wanna go take action. Yeah. 

Harper, we talk about this with [00:50:00] all of our friend group. We deserve to feel amazing. Mm-hmm. For most of us, we wanted children. We are lucky enough to have kids. A lot of them are flying the coop. Mm-hmm. So now it's our time. So to have this time that now is to dedicate it to yourself and what you want for your life, it's time to start feeling good.

And the fact that estrogen is what makes your body what everything work. And now it's gone. You need to put it back in it, you need to replenish it. It's, it's sort of. Simple, if you look at it like that. So 

not only is Dr. Haver the poster child for just menopause care and women taking care of, of themselves in general, but she's also the poster child of how she's taking care of herself.

I mean, she has never felt more amazing than she does right now. I mean, I don't need more inspiration than that to see how vibrant she is, how fricking smart she is, how clear she is about what she needs to be doing every single day in order to feel amazing and, and how. Any of us would not follow in her footsteps is hard to imagine.

The other thing that's so cool, and we do a lot of these stories on our podcast, her life was going one way harbor. Mm-hmm. [00:51:00] She's in med school, she's got this great husband, these kids, ob, GYN, and she's doing that. Then through tick. Talk through everything. Took this turn and she's now become like the menopause guru.

Mm-hmm. She never expected this life that has come this quick right turn. And that's what I get so excited about in life. And ladies, I think she said she was 56, so like whatever you're dreaming about, whatever your passion, she's a perfect example. That one right turn can make a huge difference. 

So she went through and I was trying to scribble it all down when you guys were talking, but luckily she has so much on her website, not just in her book, the New Menopause, but on her website, she was talking about the quiz.

She was talking about providers. She was talking about all the ways that women can take action to take control of the health of their lives for the longevity of their lives, because we do live longer than men. Yes. Yes, and we shouldn't live in poor health. We should be living in the most glorious, healthy ways that we can.

And I was so educated with, you know, we laugh about our hot flashes or this or that. Mm-hmm. But really it's about your bones and your overall wellbeing and how all of [00:52:00] this stuff, getting educated, what could work for your body. Mm-hmm. It benefits. So many factors of your health, not just one thing. By the way, I called the doctor that you gave me.

Yeah. There's like one doctor where we live that everybody's talking about Takes forever to get in. Yeah. So it's going. So we report back to our coop listeners about my patch for sure. What we're doing. Not letting your vagina go to waste. Nope. Oh, what did she say? That was so funny? She's like, and I'm gonna, we're talking about living a long time.

She's like, and I'm gonna have, I hate the word, but I'm gonna have a moist vagina. That's a lot. It's a lot. Sorry, bug. Wet. Did you say wet. Okay. Oh God. I think I added the, the M word. Wow. Well, which just took a lot because you don't like that word. I don't like that word. Actually. None of us like that word.

None like it, but 

it's a visual reference and it's helpful. But we all deserve that too. Yes, we do. We know we need to loop up every time. Yeah. Yep. That was interesting with And moisturizer. 

Lot moisturizer just for your heights. I do not know 

about that. Who knew that? I wonder what it's called. She does?

Yeah. Yeah. She knows it all. She knows it 

all. She knows it all. Well, that was incredible. 

 I can't wait to double back to the new menopause book that she wrote. and just follow her and take any [00:53:00] of her tips. You know, I got the weighted vest.

She's rocking one of those. She definitely said more weights for everybody. Okay. But here's the 

one that was kind of tricky. The alcohol sleep situation. Yes. She has talked about this a lot. She talks about this, on her social media. That's hard. I mean, we, meaning it's sometimes we all go out with girlfriends and we wanna have a glass of wine and it is that sort of moment of I.

Am I gonna have a glass of wine and know that I'm going to be awake at 3:00 AM That's those, those are the tough 

decisions ladies. They really are. I don't know what it is that has changed in our body that now for me, Harper one glass and I'm up at 3:00 AM mm-hmm. It happens every time. Well, it's, it's, and it's hard to have the one glass, ' cause one glass says just have the second.

Mm-hmm. Why? It's so pretty. It's so pretty. It looks so nice right there. Your friends are getting them. It just is calling you. It's like we're teenagers. We are. Nobody's telling 

us though. Our body's 

telling us. And by the way, she's similar to me too. Sleep. You know how I feel about my sleep, Harper? I, I get eight hours every night effortlessly.

Well, not really, but effortlessly, but I do get the eight hours. It's so important. It 

is so important. It's really hard. I mean, it, it, [00:54:00] for me, sleep does not come easily. Harper does not sleep easily. I am just light out. I don't, I work on that. I was laughing what she was talking about when she was like, and then you wake up and then you think about all the things that either happened that day or what you wish you would've done or.

What she said or whatever it might be. And yep, that's all true for me too, but I attribute it to menopause. So yes, it's all menopause. We're gonna check those boxes on those replacement therapies and have all those worries go away. 

coop listeners send us your questions you have with that, we can get more answers from her.

I hope y'all enjoyed that Harper and I were just glued to listening to this interview. So, don't forget to follow us on the coop and we'll see you next time.