My beautiful bipolar life
What started as a cross country bucket list journey with my terminally ill and estranged father, evolved into a search and rescue effort. To find the little girl who got lost amongst generational trauma, domestic violence and societal expectations. I found the fearless wildflower who loved herself and was ready to change the world. In my father’s death, I discovered the life I was supposed to live, while evolving into the woman I am today. I hope this podcast is a safe place to land for those wanting to heal, grow and live an authentic life rooted in gratitude, kindness, limited f***s and yummy snacks.
My beautiful bipolar life
Rising from the Ashes
When your world shatters, sometimes the only way forward is through the broken pieces. Four years after losing my father to cancer, I found myself facing the darkest moment of my life. Today, I'm recording from Harmony, California, a fitting metaphor for the peace I've finally discovered within myself.
My Beautiful Bipolar Life isn't just a podcast title; it's the reality I've come to embrace. During my year-long hiatus, I've realized that launching this podcast prematurely was my desperate attempt to create normalcy when what I truly needed was time to heal. Listening back to earlier episodes, particularly my interview with Judge Lynn Toler, I can hear my manic state and internal struggles – evidence of a person doing their best while drowning.
What a difference a year makes. This relaunch marks a transformation in both content and purpose. This podcast will serve as a platform for authentic storytelling about mental wellness, travel, food, and the beautiful chaos of life. For anyone who feels everything that humanity has to offer, who wants to disrupt broken systems, and who strives to be the change they wish to see in the world – this space is for you.
Join me every Tuesday beginning July 15th as we navigate the complexities of bipolar disorder, challenge stigmas, and celebrate the unexpected joys found along the way. Together, we'll prove that our deepest struggles often lead to our greatest purpose. Are you ready for this beautiful ride?
Hello and welcome. This is my Beautiful Bipolar Life, and I am your host, kelly Bauer. If this is your first time, I'm so glad you're here, and welcome back to those of you who have been here before. Today is July 7, 2025, and four years ago on this day, my dad, randy, took his final breath, just one month shy of his 64th birthday. Cancer, and ultimately, his death, became the catalyst for a journey that would turn my world upside down. The last time I recorded an episode was May 2024. One month later, 2024. One month later, I would be admitted to the psychiatric ward. Had I not agreed to go, I would have been subject to a 302, an involuntary commitment.
Speaker 1:I was in the midst of bipolar depression so deep that, for the first time in my life, I made an active plan to end it. First time in my life, I made an active plan to end it. I would spend the summer fighting to stay alive and, looking back, I realized that starting the podcast was a mistake. I was just so desperate to have normalcy and a sense of purpose, but I didn't give myself the chance to heal from the relentless trauma that I had endured since 2020. And so I apologize to my first guest, judge Lynn Toler. She is the face of no-nonsense TV, like Divorce Court and Marriage Boot Camp. Listening back to our interview, I was clearly manic and struggling and I'm so grateful that she took a chance on me, but embarrassed that I didn't give her the interview that she deserved. But I was doing my best and that's all that I could do.
Speaker 1:There were other episodes and other interviews, but listening to them with a healed heart and a calm mind, I realized that I wanted this podcast to not be about interviews only, but about sharing stories and reaching people where they are and connecting on a level of love and kindness, but not taking anybody's bullshit. But oh, what a difference a year makes. Today I am in Harmony, california, population 18. And I can't think of a more fitting place to be, and I can't think of a more fitting place to be.
Speaker 1:My visit here two years ago set off a trajectory that is the sort of thing that movies are made of. So I invite you to sit back and buckle up, because this is going to be a wild ride. This is my Beautiful Bipolar Life. Join me every Tuesday beginning July 15th. This podcast is for those who want to disrupt the system, that feel everything that humanity has to offer and are here to make the world a better place and be the change that they wish to see in the world. So if you want to talk about mental wellness, travel, food and shenanigans, I hope you'll tag along for this beautiful ride.