E16 - Claudia Rouleau - Proche aidant : Comment survivre sans s'effondrer ?

Et si accompagner un proche malade pouvait aussi nous apprendre à mieux vivre, dès maintenant? Avec Claudia, auteure de Grandir comme proche aidant, nous traversons un parcours intime et concret qui commence par un journal de fin de vie et devient un guide pour tenir, s’entourer et décider sans se perdre. On parle d’amour, de logistique, de courage calme et d’outils qui changent la donne quand la maladie s’installe.

Claudia partage la clé maîtresse: savoir s’entourer. Un travailleur social qui dresse le bilan, une équipe multidisciplinaire qui se met en place, une famille qui se répartit les rôles avec clarté et respect. Elle ouvre aussi la boîte à outils des aidants: ligne Infoaidant au Québec, association Avec Nos Proches en France, repérage des ressources locales, gestion du répit, bonnes questions à poser. Le cœur bat fort lorsqu’elle décrit la communication avec l’Alzheimer: chansons qui rallument des souvenirs, rituels du dimanche, gestes simples qui recréent le lien quand les mots se dérobent.

Nous abordons les décisions difficiles de fin de vie, le recours aux soins palliatifs, l’importance d’un allié médical crédible et la nécessité de parler tôt des volontés pour éviter les fractures familiales. Au fil de l’échange, une philosophie se dessine: mettre son masque d’oxygène d’abord, voir le verre plein, accepter l’aide et transformer la culpabilité en lucidité. Entre témoignage et mode d’emploi, l’épisode offre une navigation précise pour traverser l’épreuve sans s’oublier, et pour préserver la dignité jusqu’au bout.

Tu connais un proche aidant ou tu l’es peut-être toi-même? Écoute, partage à quelqu’un qui en a besoin, puis abonne-toi pour ne rien manquer. Laisse-nous ton avis et raconte en commentaire: quelle ressource t’a le plus aidé récemment?

📖 Livre disponible aux Éditions Le Dauphin Blanc
📱 Suivre Claudia : Page Facebook « Grandir comme proche aidant »

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 10:56 Présentation de Claudia et de son livre
• 26:00 Écrire pour survivre et transmettre
• 47:00 Parler de mort et de dernières volontés
• 49:33 Outro

Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_01 0:01

When the mask d'oxygène tombe, I'll applique to soi-même to intervene auprès des autres. Si on ne le fait pas, il y a des prochaines dents qui sont plus épuisés et essoufflés que the person malade. Ça fait quatre jours que j'ai décris. Je pense que je viens d'écrire un livre. C'est comme si le livre was venu à moi plutôt que l'inverse. Parce qu'il y a des moments where honnêtement étaient plus inquiètes de sa santé mentale à lui que de la santé de ma mère. Je ne pouvais pas la laisser cinq minutes toute seule. Parler de la mort, ça ne fait pas mourir. Quand on dit allez faire votre testament, les gens pensent qu'en sortant du notaire, ils vont mourir. C'est notre devoir de partager à nos proches nos souhaits de fin de vie.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

I'm Jocelyne Semart. Alright, we will board a reality at which one of the adults in Quebec find or face the role of the role, we don't apply at the school. We are jumping prepared and we plunge even in a tsunami of emotions and disorganization. It offered already a biographical poignant, enriched with 12 clients, concrete and references indispensable. I am very honored to reveal the author Claudia Roulot. Also, it is a resource, as I said, but it's a biographic. What has been the declencheur the moment I said I do not just after this, but I do transform that experience in a guide for the others?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

To a few. The declencheur is that very tight I was confronted with a malady parce quick at 15 years, my mama and my mother had been 39, and I had a diagnostic of maladies degenerative. And after deciding, I was developing her intensively for don't have a couple of main to my papa who was a proche at Temple, the three days of his life. And my mother two years after a beautiful, a journal that happens that was edited by Chantal Lacroix. It's a journalist of blank, blanch. And I dedicated I said Claudia to not make your experience, my project of life, your lives, etc. Don't be accompanying my mother in her life. And when I was motive, but when I was at the moment, for I was on paper my experience that I lived with her because it was a moment intimidate, male-filled, very pressure for me. Don't griffe in this armes, my lessons of view, my apprentices, my clue for survival at the dance, because it was the weekend of peace that I suived. I've been an inspiration very far, and I was assisting and eight journey to the day. I think I wanted to recognize a living. Don't I say it's like the life was at me plenty of inverse. And I am pragmatic. Don't be recognized for being a fan of action. So it's for sure that this chapter with apprenticeship, consequently, references, organisms to connect, a guide of reference to consult in the time. Don't we have a biographic, but for me, it's important to jumbling with this history-long a mode of employee, because we have said on the year, I've got it at the call to be prohibited. Don't be at the origin of the naissance, to be a proche done. Question completely. He had the choice to garden at the moment. Don't say, I thought the kimono on our life personality. Don't say my pair and my son, it was instantaneous for each. And I'm very fired of her grandfather because my role is to make utterance and does it.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Like we said, in your career, your entrance, all that you are pragmatic. It's like you don't have to be autobiography or biographic, not emotional. You have to do it a clinic concrete, practical to use at each year with the situation in the which they do. What is the important thing that the person does focus on to travel this éproduction?

Présentation de Claudia et de son livre

SPEAKER_01 10:45

I think that sort of is the clay that I appear to be. It's a reflex human to say, 'Bon my capable, it's my conjoint, it's a proche.' Don't it's natural. These people pose, so they won't have the cœur, aid the person in question. But I don't know. Don't worry, it's one of the essentials. And it's that our family has passed this experience, and we have grandi. It's like I've applied my lives from projected. He is at the end of my hair, the billion of the situation. And it's who orchestrated an equipe multidisciplinary. Don't you know he has been alone of my pair and my mother, an equipe multidisciplinary and domicile in function of the sort of church experts to live, before I'm not sure. But in family, I've been an equipe multidisciplinary. Don't I was a project number one? I demanded my employees all the Martin, but I'm not working because it was my journey where my mother attended, and it was the time where I laid my pause to have other things. And I would say that these consequences of family because it's important to advance, and to enter the episodes. He has to have more than the others, pay the fact that we use the force of children. My son completa or force she had of her country. My papa was there. Don't it's important to delegate what you have to find, and to not reposition on one person.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

It's not culpability because we have one or later for so to concentrate on so much.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Exactly. Don't decree, okay, not, be capable of made their limits because if you don't have a prochain who is souffless maladies.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

Claudia, I've investigated a little bit about you, and I mean you have a cat with your belle-mair who has a malady degenerative. Don't worry about that after what you have with your proper memory?

SPEAKER_01 15:02

I feel that I'm very over the eyes on the type of dance that I would have been in an chair. My mother, okay, has been mad about 30 years. Don't worry about the time with my mother. It was possible. But physically the car never. Don't travel my conjoint, who was my number one, and my appearance accompany a person who I am, but who has just had a decline of their faculty cognitive. And I think I've been that one is preferable to the unique, but it's a dota and a resilience very fortunate. Parce que when the person you aim never, my conjoint était son baby. It's less deuil blanc. Exactly. I've heard what it is. It's difficult, and my conjoint demand of it later, because of her mama that you reconnaissed because she is the person that you have côtoyed during 85 years. It's to be the deuil of your project and then. I permit to see the clay plus for these situations where I'm a reality that is different. And it's at this moment a way to communicate. Because I can continue to communicate with the person attained by Alzheimer's, but it's the way to make it.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Okay, interesting. If you have clean to communicate, it is fantastic. Because we said we have the deuce, along with the person, the person is not lost cognitively, not if they're less physically.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

I would do the example of my belle mamma 40 years in her paroise. So it's sure that my conjoint, after he met the pies in her residence for personal, he began to chant. And I wanted my bellemère transformed. But I returned. Chacun has his hair. But I think that the record is to have a replonge the person in their souvenirs. And it's fantastic to see that the connection, but I know that there's a connection humaine. Dès qu'on les sort, I was bien fair, designed, I would amener to desights of family, but after that, on voyage détériorer the situation of the person. C'était une femme very, very fire, my belle maman Madeleine. I was touching this vernis-là. After I sorted via the infirmière, I failed. Don't change the reason to rejoin him, and it's sure it's resilient because these conversations like you and me, it's more possible.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

You disappear tantôt that the title of your lives is not me for one reason. What is, self-made, the transformation, the great changement that is in you or something?

SPEAKER_01 21:01

I would say, Justin, that I'm a big version of me. Because I've been in an institution financially, with a case very financially. Ah non mais un jour quand je vais être à la retraite, pis un jour, quand je vais avoir le temps, pis un jour. Ben moi, je peux vous dire qu'aujourd'hui, avec l'expérience that I've vacuum, je suis une fille qui ne remet plus à demain ce que je peux faire aujourd'hui. Donc, j'ai appris qu'il y a une fin à la vie. Malheureusement, il faut se Don't make the head in the experience of accompanying an hair for me it's a day of support, but I've got a lot of my mother and my belly that I offered in time and in presence. Because when I accompany a brush who is mad or who is in life, the beauty of this moment is a cadeau, it's a privilege to be very pressure. It's a moment very pressure that my life for the world is. And I feel that we are in a relationship of authenticity and purity. Because the taboo the mask social of the person is rich or poor, what has been. When we arrive at the end of the day of an human, we are the pure. And the idea is to say that we won't the person go in the dignity, in sickly, so we're at the essential. And it's this transformation.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

The changement was very profound, it was just a it was a mission of view. After we were Cartesian, one plus one equal to two, etc. Now we have a conference to the providance.

Écrire pour survivre et transmettre

SPEAKER_01 24:15

But what it has approved in my life is just the organists who have made me contact to say if you were disposable to make a conference. I've monthed my conference because my travel in the jardin is conference, but in line with my career. And my great concept was to realize that the resources in Quebec in the world there was plenty. It's not in my carton. 2026 for me is an important parce I have 11 million in France. You recognize my pragmatic. So for me, the first chapter is just this to say my life have opportunity to make in France, to make conferences in France, create with organisms in France.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

My felicitations and I have plenty of success in this. Claudia, we have two volume, we have two segments. There's a segment a little bit serious, what we want to do. We go down the lives, we decide to see the process of the motivations of it, etc. But there's a volume also a little bit more ludicrous, because the sujet, okay, we on the day-to-day it's not facility, so it's quite a bit difficult to do something a little bit legal that was in the theme of the project. I've concocted for you a little that's urgent. The point the trousse of surview of Procheda. I'll do three scenarios that the procedure to make a procedure. And we will say to a clay the rapid or the facility display to respond to the crisis at which the person has face. Oh lord, I don't have any for my fresh. I'm not capable. I'm sure that I'm not. Bref, what is the clay? Come on, reach one of his among people of his entourage. What he would do to sort of this urgency, this culpability, of not pouvoir enferred sufficiently.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Ma mère avait cette philosophie de vie-là to regarder ce qu'elle avait plutôt que ce qu'elle perdait. Donc, moi j'aime beaucoup appliquer la theorie du verre plein en disant à la personne regarde tout ce que tu fais au lieu de regarder ce que tu n'as pas fait, pis d'être plus en mode culpability. Donc, je dirais la personne. Parce que des fois on a le nez collé sur l'arbre, but it's voir la forêt. Quand l'entourage is là, ben it's to rapidly amener this recul-là tour puis de faire un petit coucou sur toi, qu'est-ce que tu as fait récemment pour prendre soin de toi? Fait que c'est au lieu de mettre le spotlight juste sur la personne qui l'aide, d'essayer de ramener aussi la lumière sur l'aidant pour lui ramener aussi le disait tout à l'heure, l'importance de lui, qu'est-ce qu'il a fait vraiment concrètement pour prendre soin de lui?

SPEAKER_02 31:47

Oui, oui, oui. Changer la perspective. Arrêtez de se focaliser uniquement sur le procédant, essayer de lui faire voir, comme vous dites. Oui. Okay. Deuxième situation d'urgence, ma chère Claudia. The ras-le-bol, the fatigue, l'épuisement. J'ai envie de tout laisser tomber. Oui.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

Comment on a été? Oui. Au secours, I'm soufflée. It's the Ligue Info Aidan. The Ligne Infoaid exists in the Quebec. It's an equipe formidable who is formed. It's an intervenant form. And you have an human who is there to be a very proche-aidan. Don't remember an espace security where the person will confess. It's just a particular different. I think it's the most clear that we can suggest to have a book or less to écrire his situation. And they are formed InfoAidan to try the ressources rapid in the region of the person. Don't be in the centre of Quebec and InfoAidan, I'm explicit my situation, I will ressorp my appearance with the ressources that are demain matin concrete for that I lunch la serviette and I continue.

SPEAKER_02 34:10

It's important electronically or by telephone, it's very important that there's a moment to discuter AI or a moment of personal touch, let's say. And it's not the moment to apply and tell me what your appear is important for.

SPEAKER_01 34:46

It's not the volet is not copy-collar info aid, but it apparently. Parce que ma mère explicitly is that his decès to mourir étouffé. Because the muscles of the déglutition were affected, the muscles of the respiration were atrophiers. Don't mere to engage their respiratory to be capable of avalances. It's rose. Don't exist a protocol of détresse respiratory, but you know that it's not fun to prodigate. Don't do this example-là because at a moment, okay, I'm going to respect the choice of the person who would decéd at the maison, but at a moment, it's possible. Or I will tomorrow in the room because my muscles were very fine. Don't melee because you've got my pair to say to my mother, I attained the limit possible. Don't my mother was over to that. But if we want the person decided in the dignity, at a moment it should run to the evidence. In our case, it's the medicine that we have made in the book. My mother had a confiance with her medicine. Don't think my mother, my son, and my passed hours and say, it's possible, we have to go to the meeting. My mother, for example, objected. At a moment, we have to have an alliance. In our cases, it's a medicine of family. My mère, it's sort of signing, but I signed. But okay, it's so utility of, it's a proche that the person is a person who is a temps plein with another, it's difficult to abord these sujets.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

That's interesting. Claudia Tanton said okay, it's pretty difficult for the project to help a project who has their faculty cognitive. But I demand, after a little bit of the story of your mother, I demand if it's not difficult for someone who has aided to have their faculties cognitive. Because your mother has to see her occupy at all. It was not capable physically to say, and they wonderful, they have his friends at tour of the role, support. She saw the impact of her life with her, the people who are absolutely not blessed, the people who have passed his life to occupy. It was a reversal, and they think I don't know. I at her place, I don't know. It has been difficult. I've already preferred not to say to them suffering.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

It's sure that the point of view of the person who is attained with a problematic from that. I think it's adapted and be very resilient to the proof that we have in our lives. But it's sort of a fan parce que I've lost me. My memory was a champion of all the sports in her jeuness, three or three jobs at a time. But when it's the car that is affected, my mother should have to savour the view. Don't it was very human for him, and we said that it was a poor for my hair and for me, but in the time I think the fact that it had to her, the beauty of this is that it had exprimed to his life. I was on rendezvous with her. I attended with her to-do do list because I said that I was the dormant because two or three hours ago, her journey was. I said, Claudia, I'm sorry, I think that's my toilet for the day. Fait que I was a little bit action and if I had his faculties cognitive, I could partake how I had her finish. I demanded the vitments that I did. My son, my father, and I execute at the letting. Although, in the city of my belle-mère, I think it's the girl who has the Alzheimer's, on the day they render that they perhaps have obliged that it's sort of at the time, when they recognize the girl, it is at the moment difficult for the entourage to a lot, it's good to decouple the couteau. But I think in all these situations, it's just the ver plein au lieu of the verre videos, malgré tout, dans la situation to ressortir en retenir, puis qu'est-ce qui peut nous faire grandir dans tout ça.

SPEAKER_02 45:58

It's a very bad conclusion. Claudia, est-ce que vous avez l'impression of this entrevie that there's a points that you aurelia discuter and it's a good idea?

Parler de mort et de dernières volontés

SPEAKER_01 46:09

The consequence that I was prodigy about the mortar. Although it's the case. I terminated on this note-less it's to partage our finished personnel to children. If we evade the chicken of family, we don't have the vision of the finish. Those will say, in fin de vie, I will go into the respiratory, almost that the proche is disconnected and then we're not going to be able to do that that I think we have, like it's taboo. I think the people are vivid and they have all their faculties together. Because what I'm in, is that I'm going to execute exactly the way of my mother, and I say exactly when my mother will decide what their sweat, because I demand to the cadeau that we can make on our project to evidence that they rest, and it creates conflict in the family when we arrive to put a decision at the time, and we don't have to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

Effectively, it's good to say in the situation of urgency. And if you don't know, the conferences, how they have information about what you have present about the time.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

I've created my Jocelyne an Facebook that's appeared Grand Proidant. And it's at this end that I partake all the resources that I decoured, because I decoure another semaine.