034: From Fear to Freedom: Transforming Limiting Beliefs

Unlock the secret to dismantling fear and transforming your mindset with actionable insights that can elevate your personal growth journey. In our latest episode, explore the powerful acronym F-E-A-R, standing for "False Expectations Appearing Real," and learn how unfounded fears like rejection can stifle your potential. Drawing inspiration from Sally Field’s iconic acceptance speech, we delve into the universal longing for acceptance and the importance of stepping outside your comfort zone to foster meaningful change. Through compelling stories, including Marc's journey from rejection fear to confidence, we unpack how embracing discomfort can lead to a more fulfilling life and deeper connections.

Curious about what might be holding you back from uncovering your full potential? Delve into the concept of cognitive blind spots, or scotomas, and their surprising impact on both personal and professional development. Through relatable examples, we highlight how these hidden barriers might be clouding your judgment and keeping you from seeing solutions that are right in front of you. We’re joined by Mark Panciera, CEO Emeritus and Partner of The Pacific Institute, shares his expertise on pushing past comfort zones and the role of cognitive dissonance in achieving remarkable breakthroughs. With practical tips on transforming limiting beliefs into liberating opportunities, this conversation is an eye-opener for anyone ready to move from good to great.

Feeling fatigued in the aftermath of COVID and struggling to reignite your drive? Discover strategies to combat complacency and maintain the pressure needed for sustained growth. Mark emphasizes the importance of continuous learning, innovation, and adaptation in both your personal and professional life. Shifting your mindset for growth isn’t just about setting goals; it’s about challenging existing habits and beliefs to unlock new levels of achievement. Let this episode serve as your motivational call to action, encouraging you to embrace discomfort and strive for excellence in every facet of life.

Mark Panciera: https://www.markpanciera.com
Mark on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markpanciera
The Pacific Institute: https://thepacificinstitute.com
Mark on TedX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH49Sqtc8lE

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📒 Resources Referen

Chapters

• 0:07 Overcoming Fear for Personal Growth
• 3:44 Uncovering Blind Spots in Mindset
• 15:33 Shifting Mindset for Growth
• 21:20 Pushing Past Comfort Zones for Growth

Transcript

Speaker 2: 0:07

But going back to the acronym that I shared before about fear F-E-A-R. False expectations appearing real, the majority of things that we fear just don't happen. So, mark, you were fearing rejection and we all do. I don't know if you all remember the Sally Fields Emmy Award when she went I believe it was an Emmy or Grammy, I don't know about all that stuff but she said oh, you like me, you really, really like me. If maybe we're being accepted, I think it's only natural, right. Exactly that's who we are as humans.

Speaker 2: 0:54

So at times, if you are going to swing for the fences and, mark, you believe that, based on based on you flicking back to other people rejecting you for whatever reason, you were flicking back in your emotional history to when you were being rejected and flicking up those feelings, those emotions saying my gosh, it might happen again. And all this happens in nanoseconds. But both you and I, we're this little rubber band that we got to snap ourself out of it. There, it is Beautiful. The pattern interrupts Negative self-talk. We got to snap ourself out of it because we've got to do what Marx did Five, four, three, two, one blast off. Because we must live on that growth edge. The only way to grow is to stretch ourself. Talk about rubber bands Stretch ourself in that discomfort zone. We got to become comfortable with discomfort because that's where growth will occur. We got to grow through what we're going through.

Speaker 2: 1:48

It's called cognitive dissonance and that's what Mark did and I'm telling you reticular activating systems connected. He comes up, he asked me that question. Your vibe was just cool, I mean, you smiled big and you are the care, you were the caregiver that you were. That, you, that, that you, that you, um, put yourself out there to be. You know your caregiving spirit, manifested without, without communicating. You smiled, you were welcoming, and why in the hell wouldn't I spend time with the like-minded soul giving hope to others? And I said yes, and I'm just sharing this more detailed version for the audience. So you all embrace the notion that you are enough. You are enough.

Speaker 2: 2:33

Five, four, three, two, one blast off and then what Mark will be able to do is flick back to that energy, that moment at the big big conference, saying I've done this before, I can do it again. So you flick back and you flick up and then you execute and that's going to be re-habitualized or newly habitualized behavior and you're going to neutralize the negativity of the past, because you're going to get more people like me smiling big and said say not only you know, yeah, I'm in, but God, let's do it, let's go, let's roll, let's roll. Now Where's the camera? Let's go Back to you.

Speaker 1: 3:06

No, no, and I didn't pack the cameras for that trip, but I do. You said I truly do appreciate your enthusiasm and once again, joining us today. So, yeah, without taking the chance, right, I mean, you can't expect, you know, just to get it. You can't expect to. Um, I had to say this, mark, you never would have came on the podcast, otherwise you weren't calling Mark. Oh, I heard it. We got this podcast. I want to be on it. You know, you weren't knocking on my door, right, it was like I had to go after it and I know like I said anything in life right it goes.

Speaker 1: 3:44

You have to push yourself outside the cup and you got to just do it right. You got to take that chance.

Speaker 2: 3:48

Absolutely, and I don't know if it's basketball. I think it's basketball. I'm not going to say it's Michael Jordan, but you know every shot you don't take you're going to miss. Now that sounds like a Yogi Berra-ism but if you don't take, that's it, thank you. There you go. That's even bad.

Speaker 1: 4:13

That is the saying, thank you no, I mean, I mean a lot of things. We just stop and you tell you get out of that headspace, you're in, whatever that thing is right, right, and say stop, take the chance, right, you can't score unless you try to shoot Too shy. So no, right on, no, thank you. You're taking me back to the moment and time in that session and coming up and talking to you. So when you talk about, you mentioned blind spots in the past you talked about blind spots, and can you talk to us more about the importance of eliminating those blind spots when it comes to resistance and mindset?

Speaker 2: 4:57

Yes, certainly, that's a three-hour workshop.

Speaker 1: 5:01

A three-hour workshop. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2: 5:03

Buckle in, buckle in, buckle up. So there's something that is actually a phenomenon that happens in our thinking process. It's called scotoma, a scotoma moment, and that is a cognitive blocking out of something that's right in front of you, something that's hidden in plain sight. For the audience's benefit, I'll just use glasses as an example for those of you that wear glasses. You know where are my glasses? Where are my glasses? You walk by a reflection of a mirror. They've been on your head the whole time. Or you know where are my car keys? Where are my car keys, especially nowadays with the fob? Well, they've been in the center console the whole time. Or they're in your pocket or they're in your hand. But it's something that is right in front of you. You just can't see it. So that's natural. So we need to always practice appreciative inquiry, asking ourselves Am I seeing everything that needs to be seen? Do I have all of the intel that I need?

Speaker 2: 6:01

Now, going back to my funeral service story, the organizational psychologist, dr Joe Pace, that came into our funeral home grief recovery program from the Pacific Institute, actually taught us about scotomas and he put us through a scotoma exercise. And I failed, man, and you went through that. Oh, yes, sir, but that was my, that was my life changing moment. That was the moment that it did straighten my spine because I was the boss applesauce. My name was on the building. You know, I had the cars and all the watches and all the artifacts to prove it. You know, I signed both the front of the back of the checks. That means you're the boss applesauce, all that.

Speaker 2: 6:39

But I got the wrong answer in the scotoma exercise. But there were people around me that got the right answer. And it's not a test in IQ, it's a test in perception. Are you seeing all that's out there to be seen? Now you stepped through that exercise with me in our events. What's interesting is that it works every time because we all don't see the same thing because of these cognitive blockages, if you will, in our line of sight, line of sight from seeing to perceiving and then believing. I'm going back to the belief thing in a moment. So it's vitally important to realize that we all have scotomas. Problem is we just don't know where they are. But where we typically have scotomas and where they can be uncovered, where we can be scotoma busters for one another is to look in the crevices or around the corner where you're working really, really hard and you're just not creating breakthrough. It's like the same thing over and over again. What is it, einstein, help me doing the same thing over and over again? Is the definition?

Speaker 2: 7:52

expecting a different result insanity, insanity, insanity correct Definition of insanity, right?

Speaker 2: 7:57

So where are you doing the same thing over and over again and you're just getting the same result and you think that you should create breakthrough? Or where you really believe you could be superlative, where you want to go from good to greater, great to greater, but you're just missing that oregano, that secret sauce, that little added pixie dust, if you will. So that's where you usually have skitoma moments, and oftentimes you can't see them on your own, so you want to use an advisor or a coach, or or, or ask your significant other, or just ask yourself get reflective, what might I be missing? Because therein lies limiting beliefs, because you're going back in your emotional history toolbox and you're using the same logic that you've used in the past, whether it served you there properly or not, and flicking up, as I mentioned before, into your current reality and, using that same logic, making a decision, but expecting something different. So the intention is to go from those limiting beliefs when do I have my limiting beliefs? And then go through this process to basically hack your mind and affirm a liberating belief. And that is no. I can't find this answer because I've done it once before. I just need to stretch myself a bit more and look at places that I haven't looked. I need to look to a coach. I need to be more innovative, I need to be more open to opportunity. You know possibility thinking.

Speaker 2: 9:32

Now, again, this sounds conceptual, but we make it very. We translate mindset into a skill set. There's exercises that you can go through and you began some of those with me in the workshop, mark to translate limiting beliefs, because you want to go to those places that are causing you to lose sleep at night. You know what's keeping me up at night Business problems, family problems because that's where most of your limiting beliefs lie, where your, where your scotomas lie, where your blind spots lie. And in turn, you want to look to the replacement picture, like I did with my funeral service career.

Speaker 2: 10:11

I want more than what I'm experiencing. Is it going to be easy to get there? No, but you've got to stretch yourself with a clear understanding of where you want to go, and that's where your limiting, your liberating beliefs will not only be uncovered but will release you, will unleash you, and over an incremental amount of time, like it did with me with the Pacific Institute, starting as a you know commission-based only sales guy to now being the CEO of the organization. I just kept running towards the roar because I wanted it, I like it, I love it, I want more. I want to bathe in this. That's how we go from blind spots and limiting beliefs to liberating ones and achieving our goals that we thought were never achievable in the past that we thought were never achievable in the past.

Speaker 1: 10:59

So when you talk about the beliefs, and beliefs deriving performance and limiting beliefs, can you walk me through maybe one of those specific strategies that you use to help individuals and teams and change those limiting beliefs?

Speaker 2: 11:14

Absolutely. You know, I use this often in my presentations because it's just owned by all of us and a limiting belief is ready. Yes, drum roll.

Speaker 1: 11:27

If I want it done right, I need to do it myself yep guilty as charged yep way too often exactly they tell myself that right, or yeah, or it's easier just to do it yourself than then deal with whatever comes out of that or the things you have to fix.

Speaker 2: 11:48

There's many permutations there permutations, iterations, evolutions of the same concept. If I want it done right, I need to do it myself, okay, whether you're leading, whether you're leading your family, let me back up as you're, because with kids yeah, I got three of them, so I it's like man gosh. Yeah, I know, as a parent, I've said that, but no, we can nurture our children so they can be self-sufficient. So it's not like a, a, you know, a, a, an entitlement program. Dad's going to do it for you. No, whether you're leading your family or leading an organization of 10,000 strong, we all suffer from that limiting belief. If I need to do it right, okay, well, I'm going to ask you all to consider that you are the head coach for your family, for your team. What does a head coach do? Puts together the game plan and coaches others up, the players up to an ability to go and execute the game plan. The coach doesn't get out there and play the game right.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Right.

Speaker 2: 12:51

So, whether we are literal head coaches in that vein, or psychologically oriented, metaphorically speaking head coach believing in others, and the flip of if I need to do it right, I need to do it myself, with the positive affirmation or the limiting belief, the mind hack is I am a great head coach and my people are good enough because I'm good enough to lead them to doing it themselves, doing it successfully, successfully and celebrating the success once we've arrived.

Speaker 2: 13:25

So it is, even if it doesn't exist, it is no. No, my people are good enough because I'm good enough to get them there. No, and if I'm a leader, I got to impact change in a way that I'm leading them to do the very things that I'm doing now, because me doing all working in the company limits me from working on the company, and that's not the strategic position that I must feel for the organization, nor do I want that. So it's these very things that we want to embrace, but we're stuck in these limiting beliefs. So we want to go from if I need to do it right, I need to do it myself, to know I am an able head coach, my people are good enough and because I'm good enough, they're good enough to get the job done that I've been doing through time and memoriam, through time and memoriam. So it's now time for them to do that job, because I'm good enough and it's proven to me that they're good enough.

Speaker 1: 14:25

Do you find the limiting belief? You talk about what be the most common limiting belief that you see in your profession, but do you see that that limiting belief does it repeat itself, regardless of the level of leader you're working with, whether it's a small business owner or if it's a Fortune 1000 or whatever type of company? Do you find the same common limiting belief?

Speaker 2: 14:51

Yes, and there are others, but I wanna touch on what you scratched the itch of, and that is do you find it all the time? And I want to sort of extrapolate big word, but I want to build the bridge to how long does it have to last? Okay, well, it only has to last as long as you're going to tolerate it. And this comes out of this comes out of James Clear and Atomic Habits.

Speaker 1: 15:22

Oh, great yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:23

Because, because mindset is the collection of our habits, attitudes, beliefs and expectations, but beliefs are the driver of the others. If you have a belief that you can set a goal and achieve it, you're going to create habits to prove that to be true, and so you need to create cues. This is Clear's work, James Clear. You need to create clues. That, or 10,000 employees, 10,000 on the org chart who is the highest performer? I'm going to go and I'm going to solicit and elicit the best out of the performer. So I'm not going to do this task any longer and I'm going to coach this person up to do this task and I'm going to liberate myself. That's data point number one. We're going to make sure that that person does what they are now under my charge to do and get her done, execute in a way that I expect, and we're going to celebrate that success. Because that's one data point. And then we're going to trade on that data point and go do it with another, because two data points starts a regression, because two data points starts a regression line. Two data points starts a new habit. Three data points, four data points. We've got to habitualize the new belief, but the only way you can do. That is to go and make it tangible, so you can't just sit there and wish in a thought bubble oh, my team is good enough. You've got to go execute. You've got to go do it.

Speaker 2: 17:06

Awareness is the first step in recovery. No, I've got that pathology. I believe that I'm the only one who can do it right. Well, geez, man, that's not going to be able to help me scale my organization. How am I going to get the other people to do it right? Well, I'm going to believe that they have the ability to. If not, they should be in your organization. You onboarded the wrong people right. So you want to go create data points that prove to you that my people are good enough because I'm good enough in bringing the best out to them so they tap into their own potential to drive greater performance. And those data points, those new incremental shifts, those one percentage shifts little, little, little moves, will create exponential results. Back to you. Did that help with your question?

Speaker 1: 17:52

Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely, and as it can in things, the thoughts come to mind at different words that you mentioned and I'm like going oh, what about asking this? So you mentioned about mind shift and or sorry, mindset, and we talk about shifting of that, and you mentioned earlier me. I got very uncomfortable and outside my comfort zone by walking up and asking you to be in the podcast, right? So what is your belief on shifting your mindset? Does that require stepping outside a comfort zone to do so? Always, always, without a doubt? I didn't hesitate yeah, and how do you?

Speaker 1: 18:29

I guess, how do you get individuals, be it leaders or anyone that you're speaking to or working with in workshops? As humans, we tend to get stuck in our ways, right, we get stuck in our thoughts, we get stuck in the way that things are, the way things have been. How do you teach or how do you get these individuals to A accept that there's change can happen with them, right? They don't have to be stuck in their mindset, stuck in their ways, and to embrace that change so they can shift their mindset.

Speaker 2: 19:02

Right Before and I'm going to ask you to repeat the second half of that question first, but I must go back to do. You have to stretch yourself out of your comfort zone for a mindset shift and without equivocation, I said always I want to share with the listening audience that if you are good with exactly where you are, you don't have to do a darn thing. You have to do a darn thing, you can stay where you are. If your state of goodness is good enough, then then stay there.

Speaker 2: 19:33

I'm I'm trading on the same word to make an emphatic point okay but there's too many of us that believe that that use this is good to as an excuse for a state of stuckness instead of a state of goodness. So stuckness is being in a comfort zone, that is. That isn't good enough. That is not good enough, whether that's personal or professional or spiritual. You know, there's a point where it's just not good enough any longer, especially because we've got this extraordinary amount of potential and we only use a small amount of it for our throughput. Why? Because we've got our comfort zone standing in the way. We've got our habits, attitudes, beliefs standing in the way. So who is to judge that it's good enough? Well, maybe you are your sole judge, but then are you good enough when it comes to giving back to humanity, doing good for others? Are you good enough, in the gratitude category, to be more grateful, you know, and manifesting that through other acts of kindness? Are you good enough based on the impact that you're having on others, whether in your family or in your place of work? You know, are you good enough based on your own standards or on the standards of your impact on on the world? Are you leaving it better than you found it? I want to challenge all of you that that well, maybe that.

Speaker 2: 21:10

That is just that, that it should be provocative enough to say, okay, really, I'm not good enough. That doesn't mean, though, that you shouldn't take a knee, as you do in sports. If you're fatigued to do a timeout, you don't have to keep on this gerbil wheel. Oh my God, oh my God. I got to keep growing and learning. I'm fatigued, especially after COVID. People are fatigued, I got it, but I'm going to challenge on that whole. Good enough thing, because if you are looking for a replacement picture, you must stretch yourself out of your comfort zone. It's cognitive dissonance. Systems seek order. The only way you're going to achieve at a higher level of order is to throw yourself out of order, and if you don't keep that dissonance on, that pressure on, if you don't keep the pressure up, you're going to shrink back down.

Speaker 1: 22:00

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