072: Why Everyone Thinks They're The Only One

Breaking the silence around our personal struggles might be the most powerful gift we can offer others. That's the central message from this intimate conversation with a successful entrepreneur who reveals how feeling "not normal" shaped their approach to business, relationships, and life.

Despite building impressive companies and commanding attention on stage, our guest describes the deep introversion that makes networking events "a necessary evil" and public speaking a personal challenge. The conversation pulls back the curtain on how someone can appear confident in professional settings while needing hours alone to recharge afterward. Rather than seeing this personality trait as a limitation, we explore how introversion can become a unique strength in business when properly channeled.

What emerges most powerfully is the universal tendency to believe we're alone in our struggles. Whether facing mental health challenges, infertility, childhood trauma, or any other personal difficulty, we often suffer in silence, convinced our experience is uniquely shameful. This isolation only deepens our pain. "In a world of billions of people, you are not the only one," our guest reminds us, explaining how this realization transforms private suffering into connection.

The conversation takes unexpected turns through personal passions - from racing high-performance cars (the perfect solitary pursuit for an introvert) to a childhood love of comic books that provided escape during difficult times. We also explore the delicate balance of exposing our children to our interests while giving them freedom to develop their own. Throughout it all runs a powerful thread: vulnerability creates connection, and sharing our stories helps others feel less alone. What parts of your story might help someone else feel normal today?

Chapters

• 0:00 You Are Not the Only One
• 2:04 Embracing Introversion in Business
• 7:00 Normalizing Our Silent Struggles
• 9:30 Racing as a Solitary Passion
• 13:20 Comic Books and Fantastical Escapes
• 16:40 Empowering Children to Find Their Path

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Everybody in their heads looks at whatever their situation is or has been and thinks I'm the only one Right and there's why that's, in my opinion, that's why there's so many unspoken things in the world and challenges and stuff Mental health I'm the only one that has these thoughts. I'm the only one that struggles with this. Right, you have infertility. I'm the only one. I would never talk to that. It's so embarrassing, it's so whatever. No, it's not right, it's. You are not the only. In a world of billions of people, you are not the only one right. It might feel that way. Right, it's. It's one of those things. So for me to share any part of my story of challenges I had as a child and conditions that I've had and had to deal with and situations that I've been faced with and stuff not for any sort of pity or sympathy or any type of praise or accolade. Anything is to just help somebody else feel normal.

Speaker 2: 1:03

I'm going to focus just a few minutes here and get a little bit, because we really feel we touched on your successes and the things you've grown and done with companies which are very impressive, and congratulations on your many successes. You know, I know we've kind of maybe rubbed shoulders here or there as far as in different industry events over the years, but you know, I think this last fall in Chicago is really kind of the time I actually took the time and made the effort to actually get outside my comfort zone and approach you and a lot of that is me, you know, working on myself, right. But I found I guess with you is what you seemed like a very reserved individual in social settings but yet on a stage, oh my goodness, the story you can tell, I mean, is so impactful. Are you really as socially reserved as what I felt you were when I met you?

Speaker 1: 2:04

Yeah, absolutely I'm. I'm very introverted, right. So in a setting like this, this is totally fine for me and and I have to force myself to do stuff on stage or at events to be sociable and stuff. But, yeah, I am. I am not the person in my natural setting to go and approach people to have a conversation, right, I hate networking events. I do them as a necessary evil, right? So, for me, I am uncomfortable in situations and places where I don't know anybody, right, and I don't need to be best friends with someone, I just need to know anybody Right, and I don't need to be best friends with someone, I just need to know them. I need to have had some history where I've got something I can say to start that conversation. Right, I'm not an icebreaker, I'm not a walk into a group and just start participating in a conversation. Me, but yeah, that's, that's me.

Speaker 1: 3:08

I. I would rather sit back and observe and watch what's going on, um, then always be involved in it, and I'll do the same thing in a lot of meetings. Okay, I will sit back and observe. We will have an agenda. We'll let things flow. Excuse me, but I would rather see what happens and see where the conversation goes instead of guiding things or being the focal point of attention.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Right, I think, um, I've I've always believed in, even when I was younger like the loudest person in the room is generally not the smartest, um, you know, it's the one with the most confidence and, in many cases, can be the one that's the most arrogant. Um, but no, I, I I'd rather be the person that can observe and learn and see and hear and and take things quietly and then you know, kind of process them and and, you know, think things through before how I want to approach something. But yeah, that, that that is me. You know, think things through before how I want to approach something. But yeah, that, that that is me. I mean, I'm not all the way to the point. That's like I'm the guy sitting in the corner and and avoiding eye contact all the time. But yeah, I, I try to just just sit to myself, not be the center of attention, not do all the things, and just just watch no, and obviously it's um, it's worked pretty well.

Speaker 2: 4:31

Um, obviously your success and the companies you built, um, and you've. You said you do it out of necessity and I can not only understand but appreciate that. You know I am not the most extroverted person on the face of the planet. Um, and I can. I can go many a weekends not speaking to a single soul and I'm good with that. But at the same time, like I said, I know I pushed myself myself outside my comfort zone to engage with others. Um, I know we have a lot to say, but, um, and doing those things that make me uncomfortable to, to grow myself personally, and you've obviously managed that very well, and do you feel that it's ever held you back from doing some of the things you wish you could have done?

Speaker 1: 5:21

Yeah, I'm sure in ways it has certainly. Yeah, I'm sure in ways it has certainly. I mean, if you are ever more the I don't know, I'll say a showman, is it the show person? You're going to get that awareness right. Like any business thrives on awareness and recognition and familiarity and all of those things.

Speaker 1: 5:48

And that probably hindered businesses of mine, because I was not interested in being out on the main stage or out driving things and everything. I forced myself to start doing it. We had people at the companies that I've had that were the ones to stand on the stage and give a presentation and do stuff. And when they moved on or as things changed and I had to start doing it or we were doing more and somebody wasn't available to go, I had to do it. And you know, it kind of just dovetailed from there of okay, well, now people want to learn from you and be inspired by you and hear your story and stuff, and so I go out and do it and again, it's more. You know, for me it's. There's nothing about any sort of personal gain in doing presentations like that. I hate it. So the absolute only reason I do it is one either it's, you know, for the business and it's a business presentation, or it's to help other people right and help somebody to realize that, hey, you either don't have it too hard or you can can push past and do things, or just to just to normalize themselves.

Speaker 1: 7:00

Right, I think everybody in their heads looks at whatever their situation is or has been, and thinks I'm the only one Right and there's why that's, in my opinion, that's why there's so many unspoken things in the world and challenges and stuff Mental health. I'm the only one that has these thoughts. I'm the only one that struggles with this. Right, you have infertility. I'm the only one. I would never talk. It's so embarrassing, it's so whatever. No, it's not right. You are not the only one. In a world of billions of people, you are not the only one right, it might feel that way, Right, it's one of those things.

Speaker 1: 7:39

So for me to share any part of my story of challenges I had as a child and conditions that I've had and had to deal with and situations that I've been faced with and stuff, not for any sort of pity or sympathy or any type of praise or accolade. Anything is to just help somebody else feel normal, because I lived my whole life, not feeling normal, and that's a challenging position to be in. So if you can give anybody a bit of inspiration, if you can give anybody a little bit of normalcy or recognition or, you know, not feeling alone, then I'll do it. But what you will see is I will disappear immediately after the stage, maybe for the rest of the day, but at least for a couple hours so that I can recharge and get my energy back and then go on and face the crowd. But yeah, I, I totally appreciate that I can be very reserved, if not socially awkward. Um, and that's yeah, that is me.

Speaker 2: 8:41

No no, and that's we all.

Speaker 2: 8:44

That makes Colin, and that's you.

Speaker 2: 8:46

And thank you for letting me learn a little bit about you, right, because I didn't know Colin, you know the story that you've told, let alone that you were reserved as what I perceived, and I can relate, and maybe who knows what level, but I definitely can relate and I know being on stage is something that is a huge fear of mine, right, and and knowing that I did quite a few times last year and then earlier this year, just about a month ago or so in Denver, no matter of the size of the room, it doesn't matter, it's still, you know, that anxiety, that's, you know, again, interacting with others and feeling pushing myself outside my comfort zone to talk to people and introduce and make it a goal.

Speaker 2: 9:28

Hey, I'm going to introduce myself to 10 people this time. Or let's talk about the conference hall or a vendor hall. Make it a point to go and physically talk to every single vendor, at least introduction, and then trying to connect with them later. Or, once again, you'll see, my thing is I take pictures of people and their badges, right, face and badge so, cause I meet so many people and then I, I, I forget, like the name associated with the face and but that's my thing, that's.

Speaker 2: 9:55

That's how I'm trying to connect the dots, right? Yeah, absolutely so. As we learn about it being on the introverted side of things, explain the statement that you're a hopeless car racer.

Speaker 1: 10:11

I had to give that up for time now. But yeah, I mean, I've always, I've always loved cars, you know, as a fashion of. You know I grew up very underprivileged and stuff, so I mean loved cars from the fantastical bit about what they are. I was, from a young age, interested in the status that a car could offer and provide, age interested in the status that a car could offer and provide. And then, and I think you know, the older I got, I was a lot more interested in in the engineering of the vehicles and what they're capable of, and I got more into speed and dynamic and and driving.

Speaker 1: 10:57

I mean, we talked about being an introvert. There is, driving a car is not a team sport, right? Unless you've got a teammate in F1 or something like that, right, and even they are competing against each other on the same team. So it was the ideal thing for me I could sit in the car, I don't have to talk to anybody, I don't have to do anything with anybody, I can just go and put out my best, right, and so, yeah, that that is something that I I love and I'm I'm very passionate about and you know, as, as time has gone on, I've been afforded the opportunity to have better and better vehicles to to go out and race and do stuff with, but, um, time has not been afforded to me of late to be able to, to participate in that.

Speaker 1: 11:42

But, uh, yeah, absolutely, absolutely love it. I think part of me sits in dreams one day that I would actually race in a in a competitive league and sport and and try to accomplish things on on that, uh, in that world. But uh, for now I do not, so I'm hopeless for it.

Speaker 2: 12:00

Hopeless. What kind of uh car racing is? I guess has your interest.

Speaker 1: 12:13

I mean I won't say all of it but I mean I love, I love F1. Um, it was fortunate to uh with my co-founder in this business and longtime friend and partner. Uh, we were able to go out and race um open wheel indie cars together, um and do that as an experience which was an absolute thrill. Um, and you know, I've I've done this long stuff with with in my younger days, with some some more agile cars and stuff. And you know, as I, as I grew up and as my my career evolved, I mean we've we've gone into exotic, you know just just hot exotic hobby racing and stuff like that. But yeah, I mean just you know running the circuits and doing timed laps and and positioning and all of that good stuff, learning the line.

Speaker 2: 12:59

Yeah, and you said, obviously growing up without, and you talk about the love for cars. Um, so, the daily driver, do you have a love for cars there too, on the streets? I?

Speaker 1: 13:10

did I've?

Speaker 1: 13:11

I've gone through an exercise of simplification in my life in the last year here, um, but but yeah, I mean daily drivers had my um Audi RS5 Sportback for a long time, which was a great vehicle and and enjoyed that, and I raced that. Um, we have winter here so I could not daily drive the R8. Um, that was that. Well, I guess I could have, but I was not interested in that. Um, and then for a long while I had the new M3 competition which was so far for me has been the best daily driver I've ever had from. You know a full spectrum of what that car was capable of, but all of the other luxury and features and and and, yeah, just good feel for it.

Speaker 2: 14:02

So no, that's awesome, awesome. And you touched on the love of cars.

Speaker 1: 14:06

My understanding is that, uh, at some point you had a love for comic books as well always have yeah always have, I mean my background is very different these days, but you know, if you look at over the years, some of my stuff, I almost always was wearing a superhero shirt.

Speaker 1: 14:22

Uh, always had, you know, a captain america shield in the back or something like that. But yeah, always, you know, I think, growing up, um, you know, I I would find myself in a situation where I was looking to escape my life, right or what, what environment I was in and things like cars and dreaming about cars or dreaming about being in different locales or, um, you know, superheroes and comic books was was an escape for me, and to be able to sit there and dream about, oh, if I could do this, if I had that or what, what would, would what, what a life that would be and stuff. So, yeah, I mean, it was always, always something for me. And, and superheroes, I still love them and you know it's fun and it's been so amazing to watch how, you know, the resurgence of things like dc and marvel and disney taking it on and revitalizing all of that even more. Um, you know, has been been amazing to do so. Yeah, absolutely Love it, love the love, anything fantastical really in life.

Speaker 2: 15:30

So, no when it comes to your children. Um, your love for comics is that uh? Is that something your children have a love for as well? They pass that on.

Speaker 1: 15:40

I wouldn't say that they love them. You know they, they appreciate it, they. They could probably list off or name, you know, pick out of a line, any, any, any superheroes, um, so they know, they know who they all are. Um, they, they like vehicles. My youngest absolutely loves vehicles and was always a big fan of when we'd go for rides and you know more spirited drives and stuff through the mountains and stuff with them. But yeah, I mean, they're also their own individuals, as I'm sure you've experienced as a parent, sure, um, so for me, you know, a big, big thing for me is less about trying to, you know, influence things that I like or want or appreciate and stuff on them, exposing them to it, but giving them that freedom to explore and adventure and and learn what it is that they're truly interested in and what they like, not because dad makes us go to every one of these movies or makes us do this or whatever else. It's a lot about what interests them and let them kind of forge their own path.

Speaker 2: 16:56

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