What Real Christian Love Looks Like in Everyday Life*

Christian love is more than a feeling. In this message from 1 Corinthians 13:4–7, Pastor Chris explores what agape love looks like when lived out in everyday relationships within the church, family, and community. This teaching calls believers to love in ways that protect, trust, hope, and persevere, reflecting the heart of Christ in practical, life-shaping ways. 

Link: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2285086/episodes/16335535

Key Points:

1. Love always protects
    Christian love seeks the good of others by covering, guarding, and preserving dignity rather than exposing weaknesses. Love refuses gossip, public embarrassment, or careless words, choosing instead to protect people within the limits of truth. Scripture references include 1 Corinthians 13:7, Proverbs 10:12, John 17:15, and Matthew 1:19.
2. Love always trusts
    Biblical love chooses to believe the best, giving the benefit of the doubt rather than living in suspicion. While love is not gullible, it begins with grace and assumes sincerity unless proven otherwise. Scripture references include 1 Corinthians 13:7, Ephesians 4:32, and Luke 22:32.
3. Love always hopes
    Love looks forward rather than backward, believing God is still at work in people’s lives. It refuses to see failure as final and remains confident in God’s power to redeem, restore, and grow His people. Scripture references include Romans 8:28, Romans 15:4, Hebrews 11:1, and Colossians 1:4–5.
4. Love always perseveres
    Christian love does not quit when relationships become difficult. It endures hardship, remains faithful, and continues to act with commitment and grace even under pressure. Scripture references include 1 Corinthians 13:7, Hebrews 13:4, and John 3:16.

Personal Stories from Pastor Chris:
 Pastor Chris shares real-life pastoral experiences involving testimonies, church care, and helping people in need, illustrating how love protects without enabling sin and trusts without being reckless. These stories ground the message in lived ministry reality.

Notable Quotes:
 Love praises in public and corrects in private.
 Love refuses to take failure as final.
 When love gives up on people, it gives up on the power of God to change lives.

Actionable Takeaways:
 Reflect on how you speak about others when they are not present.
 Practice giving the benefit of the doubt before assuming motives.
 Choose hope when someone disappoints you rather than writing them off.
 Commit to perseverance in relationships God has called you to honor.

Scripture References:
 1 Corinthians 13:4–7
 Proverbs 10:12
 John 17:15
 Matthew 1:19
 Ephesians 4:32
 Luke 22:32
 Romans 8:28
 Romans 15:4
 Hebrews 11:1
 Colossians 1:4–5
 Hebrews 13:4
 John 3:16
 1 John 4:7–10, 19

Keywords:
 Christian love, agape love, 1 Corinthians 13, biblical relationships, church unity, trusting others, hope in Christ, perseverance, loving like Jesus

Challenge:
Ask God this week to help you love one person in a way that protects, trusts, hopes, or perseveres, even when it costs you something.

21m0214de Four Things Christian Love Always Does

The WELL Faith Podcast offers encouraging, Bible-based messages from Pastor Chris Teien and guests. New sermons are released every Sunday. Replay episodes are marked with an asterisk. Find us online at ChrisTeien.com and Rockwell.Church in Virginia, MN. Email comments to wellfaith24@gmail.com

Transcript

Chris T 0:16

Christian love, the way that we're supposed to love each other in the church, the way God intended brothers and sisters in Christ to love each other, agape love. You know, deep down we all want to be loved. We all desire to be loved. Agape describes God's unconditional love for his children and how he intends for us to love each other. First Corinthians 13, 4 through 7. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. So Paul's writing what Christian love is supposed to look like. Love always protects. You know, when you love something, you protect it. When you get that new car, if you've ever gotten a new car, you get that new car and you want to protect it. You don't want any dings or scratches or whatever. So you park in the back of the parking lot at the mall or the supermarket or whatever. You park all the way in the back and you park like in a slant so no one gets near your your new precious baby because you're trying to protect it. Love protects like that. We care and we do what we can to protect people. So uh the Greek word uh really means to preserve by covering or to protect, uh hide by covering. So this does not refer to hiding hurtful sin, but to protecting someone from embarrassment, gossip, or any other such harm. When believers love one another, they refuse harmful gossip and protect one another from those who would try to harm them. It protects them from ridicule, embarrassment, and any other kind of hurt or harm. Love doesn't broadcast the problems of others, it doesn't run down others with jokes, sarcasm, or put downs. Love defends the character of the other person as much as possible within the limits of truth. Love won't lie about weaknesses, but neither will it deliberately expose and emphasize them because love protects. God's type of love protects, watches out for others, it withstands difficulties, and if there is a shortcoming or fault in the loved one, love has the ability to cover it. Proverbs 10:12, hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses. Love makes up for all offenses. You know, we need to treat people better than they deserve, and sometimes people just make mistakes. Sometimes people do things or they don't even know they're gonna do things, and then it causes them to be embarrassed. It causes them to not feel loved or to think that people don't love them. You know, a good example of this is when we ask people to share their testimony in the church. A testimony, a testimony is what your life was like before you came to Christ, how you came to Christ and got saved, and then what your life has been like since. And sometimes we give people the microphone and they stand up and they give their testimony, and I don't think they intended to, but they share way too much information. They glorify their sin, they name dates and names, and by the time they're done, uh they're embarrassed. They can't believe I said that at all, and they don't come back to church. So we need to encourage them. So, one thing that we've chosen to do that's loving is if we have someone publicly sharing their testimony, we try to get them to write that down and share it with us first so that we can help them to have guidelines and to say what they plan to say without saying too much. We want to glorify God, not glorify the sin in our lives. Uh, we want to make sure that the message is clear and succinct and doesn't embarrass us out of church in any way. So having a guideline like that is a way for church pastors and for a church to show love for especially new believers in the church that might be sharing for the first time. You know, it's absolutely amazing what happens when you give people a microphone sometimes. It's like, whoa, that person never talked until we gave him a microphone. We want to show love. Love is not based on selfish desire or even mutual benefit, rather, it seeks the benefit of the other person. Love aims to give rather than receive. You know, Jesus cared so much about us, about the disciples and all who would follow after that Jesus prayed for our protection. He prayed in John 17, 15. I'm not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. Greek word keep is uh means to guard or protect. Love always protects, but never tries to minimize or rationalize sin. So love never compromises biblical principles or truth. It always warns, rebukes, and disciplines, but does so privately. Love always praises in public and corrects in private. And that is huge. Correct in private and praise in public. You know, that works in your family, that works at your workplace, that works on your team. If you're a coach, that is a great way to do that. Um, love always protects from embarrassment, gossip, deceit, and hurt. You know, in the Bible, we find that Joseph, before Jesus was born, Joseph and Mary, that when Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant, he was faced with a choice to expose her to public disgrace or divorce her quietly, and he chose to protect her. Joseph, being a righteous man, was planning to keep the matter quiet. In other words, he was covering over what he saw as a fault or sin in Mary, and he protected her from public shame, and that is an act of love. So, again, that doesn't mean that if someone is falling into sin, that we make excuses for them or cover it up. Actually, you get in trouble for that. And many ministries have been suffering uh lawsuits and difficulties, and pastors have been fired when uh out of what they thought was love, they sought to cover up uh a sin that was going on among someone in the church or in the ministries or something. We try to strengthen what is weak, shield what is vulnerable, and forgive what is provoking. Love always trusts. So that means that love never loses faith and that it is willing to think the best of others. Love gives the benefit of the doubt. When it comes to conflict, you can deal with it lovingly. When it comes to filling people's needs, you can do so generously and lovingly, give people the benefit of the doubt, assume that they are being honest. So when it says love always trusts, it doesn't mean that we're gullible. Uh it just means that by default we're not suspicious and doubting of the other person's character and motives without good reason, even if his actions offended us. So if trust has been broken, then it needs to be earned again, step by step. But love believes the other person is innocent until proven guilty, not guilty until proven innocent. If there's a problem, love doesn't jump immediately to blame the other person. In the family, trust shows itself by not grilling the other person about every detail of his story, like an attorney cross-examining a defendant. It means believing in your kids and expressing confidence in them. One Bible commentator had said, I'm thankful that my parents trusted me as a teenager. It made me want to live up to that trust. One of my friends had parents who did not trust him, and he lived up to their distrust. He said, Sometimes you'll get ripped off when you trust, but love persists in trusting. And Ephesians 4 32 in the Christian Standard Bible, it says, and be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. So always trusting means that we're not gonna second guess or question whether the person should be loved. Love is simply given, it's unconditional. The loved one does not need to perform anything or achieve a certain goal in order to be loved. Just as Jesus loves his children unconditionally, he calls us to love others. Love is based on who he is, not on what others do. So when we choose to love like God and now waste trust, that means we will not start out by being suspicious. We will be slow to believe any damaging news concerning the loved one, and we'll always give the benefit of the doubt. Whatever the situation, love is ready to trust. To trust someone means that you are ever ready to believe the best, as it says in the amplified version, uh, ready to believe the best of him or her. The loved one may have a checkered past or be in some other way undeserving of trust, yet true love is able to look past that and meet the needs of the individual. Mistrust and suspicion are at odds with godly love. So again, I've got a lot of this out of Bible commentaries. If brothers and sisters in Christ would believe in one another, setting suspicion aside and extending unconditional love, what a difference it would make in the church. When our focus is on Christ, we can show his love to meet the needs of others. All right, so I've had a lot of experience being a pastor and an associate pastor over the last 25 years with people asking for stuff from the church. And I have to say that I have way more stories of people being dishonest than honest in their time of need. And I'm gonna give you an example. And I came to it with full love and trust, kind of like I've been just talking about here. Let me tell you how this story uh played out. And uh yeah. All right, so it's late at night and I get this telephone call. And this guy on the other end of the line says, Hey, uh, we came to your church recently. Remember us? Uh, my two little girls with their dresses on, and you commented what nice dresses they had. And I'm thinking to myself, nope, I don't remember that. He's like, Well, our van broke down on our way to Florida to get my sister her stuff. Uh, she died recently, and we needed to clean up her things, and we're stranded, and uh, we need money. Could you send us some money by Western Union? Uh, whenever I hear the word Western Union, I start to get suspicious right away. So I was thinking about that, and um, I'm not not remembering, I mean, it's not maybe somebody came, but so I started to ask some more questions. I'm like, well, where do you live in town? And he gave me this address. I Google searched it real quick. I'm like, hmm, well, that's not a real address. There's that street, but that's not us, that's not an address. Unless it's a new house. No, it can't be a new house because it's a field. Anyway, it's like, can you send us some money by Western Union? And so I'm like, let me get your phone number so I can give you a call back, see what I can do to help. So uh call you back in a few minutes. So I hung up and I looked around. I Google searched the area. I was looking for a church. I found a church just like ours, same denomination and everything. And their mission statement was helping people in need. I'm like, that's perfect. So I'm a fixer. I like to try to come up with plans to fix things and help people. So I found the church, and uh, so my plan was that I would see if they could help out. So I called the guy back and I said, I think I have a plan. I think I think I know how I can help. So I said, I found a church just like us in the area that you're in, and I will call them and ask them to help you in the morning. And I will call and see if I can pay for your hotel or motel room over the phone so you have a place to stay tonight. And I'll call the non-emergency number of the police department and see if somebody can come out and help you get to the motel and make sure your van's gonna be uh safe where it's at until someone can help you. And then uh, so again, you'll be safely taken to a place where you can stay, and we'll foot the bill for the night so that you have a place to stay overnight, and then that church most likely will call you in the morning and tell you how they can help you uh get your van fixed and help you get on your way. Doesn't that sound like a great plan? And I really expected him to say yes, thank you. Instead, he's like, Can't you just send the money? I'm like, no, we have this policy that I can't send money by Western Union, especially, but uh no, I I can't do that. So I hear swear words and then hangs out. So I'm like, hmm, maybe I got disconnected. So I called back the number and he didn't answer. So what do you think? Do you think they are earnest or do you think they weren't earnest? And then couldn't have been more than a month later, late at night, my phone rings and the whole thing starts over again. And uh so on one hand, I came to it with uh looking for an opportunity to help and thinking that I wanted to believe and do the best I could to help this family in need. On the other hand, there was part of me that started to get real suspicious in the story when I was asked to send money by a Western Union to somebody I really didn't know, and that the address they gave me of the place that they lived in town didn't seem to be like a real address. And then finally, when I had the plan to get sworn at and hung up on. So to me, I felt that was loving. I felt that was even better than just sending money blindly by Western Union. I mean, seriously, in the middle of the night, how are they gonna find a mechanic to fix their van right then and there? You can let me know what you think about that if you want. But uh, I was trying to be helpful. I've got many other stories of trying to help people in need. Uh, some are comical. I guess I could write a book. And then there's been a few times where people seriously have had needs and we've helped them, and it's been a great thing. And uh it's just great to be used by God to help people in need when we can. Sometimes people's needs are so huge that it's just impossible for us to do anything. And sometimes their needs are an inconvenience or cause us to take some form of risk or loss. But uh, when we do that, we do it to the glory of God. God sees our heart, God sees our act of kindness, of love, of worship. And that's really what it is is it's honoring and worshiping God through the actions that we make to try to show love and help others. Love always hopes. So believers who love look forward, not backwards. They look to the future, not to the past. They seek for growth and maturity in the church, knowing that God is working in every person. They know that failure is not the end, and they trust in God who promises to work out all things together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes, like it says in Romans 8 28. So when people fail, we refuse to take failure as final. We see that there's a chance for them to be restored, a chance for people to get a fresh start, a chance for people to begin again. It's a confidence that looks to the ultimate triumph by the grace of God. The people that we're trying to help, the people that we're trying to show love, they aren't, most likely, they're not going to continue to do uh the things that they're doing that would cause us to be disappointed, that would cause us to be concerned, that would cause us to call them out on it in private, not in public. Anyway, love is supernaturally optimistic about people. Love never gives up on people because if it does, it gives up on the power of God to change their lives. Just before Jesus is betrayed, he tells Peter he has prayed for him that his faith wouldn't fail. Luke 22, 32. Uh, Jesus says, I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turn to me again, strengthen your brothers. So Jesus is like, Peter, even when you mess up, there's still an opportunity for you to come back and to serve me. You know, as parents, uh, we struggle when our children, our adult children, make bad choices, and we try to do everything we can to help them. Now we can't always force them to make the right choice, but we do all we can to help them to make the right choice and to celebrate the good choices together. Many people are waiting around for their adult children to come around. Many people are waiting around for their spouses to come around, for people to make good choices, uh, choices to follow Jesus, choices to live, keep praying, keep hoping, keep moving forward, keep looking forward. The Bible is full of people who made mistakes that God used. Romans 15 4, as a matter of fact, says about the things in the Old Testament, especially. Uh, such things were written in the scriptures long ago to teach us, and the scriptures give us hope and encouragement as we wait patiently for God's promises to be fulfilled. So Abraham, he messed up often. Uh, did God give up on him? No. Uh Moses, he made quite a few mistakes. Did God give up on him? No. Uh Jonah, he made he had a really bad attitude, uh, made some mistakes. Did God give up on him? No. What about Saul, who would later be named Paul? There's so many Bible stories that we see. What about David? What about David who fell into sin? The man after God's own heart fell into sin. Yet God restored him. David did fall into sin, adultery. God didn't shield him from all the consequences. Uh he was restored into a right relationship with God, but he had family problems for the rest of his life. We need to uh remember that there are consequences for our choices. But love hopes all things, love roots for victory in others, for good to win, and for truth to come out. In the Bible, hope is more than just a wish, it's a confidence that God will do as he says. When Paul began his letter to the Corinthians, uh, he said that Christ will sustain you to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. Well, uh, in the NLT that says, uh, he will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns. So his confident hope for them was one evidence of his love for them. Selfless love hopes for all things. It's not pessimistic, it does not expect the loved one to fail but to succeed. Love refuses to take failure as final. It exudes a godly optimism which says, I know you can do it because God in you is able. It does not ignore reality, it does not close its eyes to problems, but it rests on the promises of God that He who is working all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose. And so love always hopes. Selfish love, on the other hand, hopes to get something in return. Selfish love. This uh girl wrote a note to this uh to her former boyfriend that she broke up with. Here's what the note said said, Dearest Jimmy, no words could ever express the great unhappiness I've felt since breaking our engagement. Please say you'll take me back. No one could ever take your place in my heart, so please forgive me. I love you, I love you, I love you. Yours forever, Marie. P. S. And congratulations on winning the state lottery. Okay. All right. Well, love is not just an idea, it's an action. So this Greek word for hope means more than just to hope in the future, but to hope or wait for salvation with joy and full confidence. It's used 32 times in the New Testament and expresses more than a wish or desire. It expresses a confident belief in the unseen. Hebrews 11:1 says, faith is being sure of what we hope and certain of what we do not see. So faith, hope, and love are often connected in Scripture. In Colossians 1, 4 and 5, we also see that combination of faith, hope, and love. We heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. So we are called to love. The Bible talks a lot about love, talks a lot about God's love for us and how we can live in his love. First John 4 8 says, Anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love. So if there's a lack of love in your life, maybe you're not connected to God. And the Bible says in 1 Timothy 1.1 that Jesus is our hope. It says, and in 1 Timothy 1.1, it says that Jesus is our hope. Christ Jesus appointed by the command of God our Savior and Christ Jesus who gives us hope. Hope not only concerns our belief in Christ, but describes who he is to us. The hope within us is Christ Himself, if He lives within us. The hope will be seen in how we treat others. Living with such an attitude reflects the way of Christ, leads to holy living, and brings glory to the Heavenly Father. So part of showing love is hoping. So some years ago, Dr. Carl Meninger, a noted doctor and psychologist, was seeking the cause of many of his patients' ills. One day, he called in his clinical staff and proceeded to unfold the plan for developing in his clinic an atmosphere of creative love. All patients were to be given large quantities of love. No unloving attitudes were to be displayed in the presence of the patients, and all nurses and doctors were to go about their work in and out of the various rooms with a loving attitude. At the end of six months, the time spent by patients in the institution was cut in half. So, I mean, if we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming. So in love, we can always be hopeful and show confidence in others. Doesn't rule out confrontation, doesn't mean that we don't address wrongs, but it does mean that we have a positive attitude and we try to help others. Love always perseveres. So the Greek word carries the meaning of remaining or enduring. Love doesn't quit or give up. Love lasts. We need to persevere. The love spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13 isn't a fleeting romance or a fading feeling instead, godly love always perseveres. During good times and bad, the love of God's people endures the challenges of life and remains steadfast. You know, in the wedding vows, uh Husband and wife take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part. And out of that kind of pledge, love perseveres. Let's talk about marriage for a minute. If you're not married, you need to do all you can to support people that are married. That means that you do all you can to make sure that you don't get in the way of their marriage relationship and you definitely don't steal anybody's spouse. Hebrews 13, 4 says, give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery. So if you're married, stay in your marriage, honor your marriage. If you're not married, honor their marriage and help them to stay in their marriage. So marriage is a big deal. And I think that biblical marriage works. So yeah, there's divorce statistics, but I think you're better off being a in a biblical marriage, a Bible-based marriage between a man and woman committed to one another for a lifetime, uh, or single and not sexually active, or single and not in fornication. Anyway, uh, that's the way that God planned it. That is the best way to be. But love often leads to marriage. A young man said to his father at breakfast one morning, Dad, I'm gonna get married. How do you know you're ready to get married? asked the father. Are you in love? I sure am, said the son. Well, how do you know you're in love, son? Last night, as I was kissing my girlfriend goodnight, her dog bit me and I didn't feel the pain until I got home. Here's another story about marriage. We often marry people that uh we spend the most time around. So if you are looking for somebody to marry, you might have to get out there and meet more people. So I read about a young man who was determined to win the affection of a lady who refused to even talk to him anymore. He decided that the way to her heart was through the mail. So he began writing her love letters. He wrote a love letter every day to this lady. Six, seven times a week, she got a love letter from him. When she didn't respond, he increased his output to three notes every 24 hours. And all he wrote her more than 700 letters, and she wound up marrying the mailman. So it's like mailman's there all the time delivering these letters, probably talking about these letters, and yeah, anyway, love always perseveres. Believers who love are active and steadfast in their faith. They hold on no matter what difficulties they face. Hardship and pain do not stop love. When believers persevere, they face suffering within the body. They face persecution, they hang on when the going gets tough, they strive to save their marriages despite disappointment, to continue to trust God despite setbacks, and to continue to serve God despite fear or sorrow. When believers truly persevere, nothing can stop them. You know, Christians face hard times, and those who choose to love as Jesus does, they don't stop loving when life becomes difficult. Love always perseveres. The verb, uh the Greek word, um, the verb denotes not a patient, resigned acquiescence, but an active positive fortitude. So the word endures or perseveres is a military word meaning to sustain the assault of an enemy. It has the idea of holding up under trial, of perseverance in spite of difficulties. It means that love hangs in there. It's not just a passive stoic attitude, it's a positive, triumphant spirit that sticks it out. One Bible commentator wrote there's an epidemic among Christians bailing out of tough situations. People don't like something that happens in a church, they go find another church, more to their liking. They run into problems or disagreements in their marriage, they grow tired of the effort and bail out. But you say, isn't adultery a legitimate grounds for divorce? And technically, yes, but all too often one partner uses it as an excuse to bail out of the marriage where both partners have wronged one another repeatedly in many ways. Uh he writes, I'm not minimizing the seriousness of adultery. It destroys trust and creates all sorts of problems in a marriage. I'm not suggesting that it's easy to work through. It takes a lot of hard work to rebuild a brick at a time, but God's best is to forgive and renew the marriage, not bail out. Love endures all things. That's what love really is. It's selfless, it's wholly directed to build the other person. Again, it's hard to love like that, but when we are in God's love, we are able to love in supernatural ways. We're able to love in ways that show great care. You know, God is the source of love. John 3 16, God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. So Jesus makes it possible for us to be saved. And if you don't have love, if you don't feel love, if love isn't flowing through you, God's love isn't flowing through you. Maybe you're not connected to God. Maybe you've been separated by sin and you need to be saved, born again, connected into God's family. Jesus died on the cross for your sins. He paid the cost of your admission, the cost, he paid your ticket so that you could go to heaven. Uh, what you need to do though is acknowledge that you have a need, that you are a sinner, uh, that you need to be forgiven, that you want Christ to come into your life. And the Bible says when you do that, when you receive Jesus, you'll be adopted as a child of God. You'll become a new creation. The old will be gone, the new will come. You will be assured heaven, you will receive the Holy Spirit and so many more things. Pray something like this if you'd like to receive Jesus. Dear Jesus, I am a sinner. Please forgive me of my sin and come into my life and save me. I acknowledge that you died on the cross and you rose again, you ascended into heaven, and you can hear me now. Jesus, save me and make me the person you created me to be. I want to follow you. In Jesus' name, amen. Or pray something like that. It's not the words of the prayer that save you, it's the attitude of the heart and the commitment to proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord, to repent of your sin and to receive Jesus. First John four seven and eight. Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God, but anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love. And first John four nineteen says we love because he first loved us. And first John three sixteen says, We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. And finally, first John four ten says this is real love. Not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.