Game of Inner Circles: Building Your Business Throne

summary

In this conversation, Jonathan Fodera and Keith Gause discuss the significance of building a strong inner circle for personal and professional growth. They emphasize the importance of surrounding oneself with the right people, identifying negative influences, and the role of mentorship in achieving success. The discussion also covers the necessity of trust, reciprocity, and living by core values to foster meaningful relationships that can lead to greater opportunities.

takeaways

• Getting the right people around you is a superpower.
• The power of proximity can influence your success positively or negatively.
• It's essential to identify and repel negative influences in your inner circle.
• As you grow, your inner circle should evolve to match your ambitions.
• Watch what people do, not just what they say.
• Every business owner needs a mentor to guide them.
• Building relationships takes time and strategy.
• Givers gain: helping others can lead to unexpected rewards.
• Trust and reciprocity are crucial in maintaining relationships.
• Living by core values simplifies business interactions and builds trust.

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Transcript

Jonathan Fodera (00:02)
Hey everyone, how's it going? Today on the Integrated Entrepreneur, we're going to talk about your inner circle, How to build it, why it matters, and how, as long as you have the right inner circle, it'll help you achieve whatever you need to accomplish, Because getting the right people around you is a superpower. It opens doors. And as powerful as it is to have the right people around you, it's

to repel the people that are not right. the people that just talk the talk and do not walk the walk. we'll show you how to identify those two, Cause having that one negative person, that one person that really isn't in your corner, in your inner circle, can essentially tear everything down that you're trying to build.

As you get older, as you hit new levels, your inner circle changes. And it changes because some people are no longer there. It doesn't mean they're a bad person. It just means they're not a fit for what you're trying to do in that moment. If I'm trying to build a nine figure company, but I'm hanging out with people that have six figure companies, I'm never going to figure that out. On the flip side, if I want to build a nine figure company, I'm hanging out with people that have

built nine and 10 figure companies, that's probably going to allow me to get there much faster. Keith, what are your thoughts?

Keith Gause (01:12)
I agree. think power of proximity is real. And it could go good and bad, But the reality is you hang out with shithead people, you do shithead things. You hang out with business owners that know how to make the decisions that you need to learn how to make, then you make those decisions quicker, you grow faster.

Jonathan Fodera (01:30)
Exactly. When you hang out with snakes, you're going to get bit, if you look at who's leading the group, that will tell you who's in the group because they attract people that are like them.

And there's a reason why I lost so much money hanging out in one circle, it took me a minute to figure it out because everybody talked about their core values. it took a little while to see that they don't really follow those core values, That their core values are just a statement. It's not who they are. not how they act.

one of the biggest rules anyone that you're even considering being in your inner circle, watch what they do, not what they say. are they building things? How do they treat people that can't help them? are they dismissive? Do they tell them to fuck off or do they actually still try to help even though there's no reward in it for them?

Are they acting ethically? one of my closest friends on the planet, I will not do business with. we're childhood friends. I've known him since I was six, seven years old. it doesn't mean I don't care about him, but I wouldn't consider him in my inner circle because I could never trust him in a business sense.

because I know how he's treated other business partners. And so if he's done that to them, even though we have a personal relationship, I would be begging to get abused and used if I entered into any type of business with him. so I've never done it, even though it's something that every time we speak and he sees what I'm building and he wants to be.

part of that I would never do it because it's too much liability. what I'm really scared about is I introduce him to people that are in my inner circle and he doesn't burn me, but he burns one of them. when you recommend or refer somebody, you should only be referring to people that you absolutely are sure on, and the times that I recommend people outside of my inner circle,

I give them a caveat, hey, I haven't done business with them or I've done a limited amount of business with them. So please do your own due diligence, That's a big part of this. It's protecting who matters to you. Thoughts, Keith?

Keith Gause (03:23)
You play with snakes, you're going to get bit. You got to give people time to let you know that they're snakes. And you have to be observant. The problem that we face today, is that it's hard to read someone through social media, which is where everyone's relationship exists. Unless you get into the same room as those people.

There's a lot of rooms I wish that I never got into that I just existed on the social network on the outside.

I think the reality is every business owner needs a mentor. Every business owner needs to be in a room bigger than their shoes can fit into. And if you're smart, you'll get into these rooms and you'll be a chameleon and you'll be silent.

and you just become a sponge. Don't worry about getting on stage. Don't worry about being loud in the room. Just listen and take in as much information as you can that's what you're there for. The relationships, if you do them correctly, will come with time. But if you go there to become friends with everybody, to get business from everyone, you've attacked it in the wrong way, and you're end up just like everyone else who goes and tries to burn the boats.

Jonathan Fodera (04:11)
Absolutely.

Keith Gause (04:21)
in the first meeting. Everyone knows what you're there for. You're to get kicked out, You're going to turn a bunch of people off. So, you have to have a strategy. And if you put a strategy together to utilize it for a specific reason, I think you could win. That's groups, that's mentors,

And I will give you one step further and say, try not to become friends with your mentor.

You see it all the time. My mentor is my homeboy. We hang out all the time. Cool. It's not a mentor, that's a buddy. And those relationships and conversations are going to be different because of that. So, finding mentors that are outside your bubble and not so much so in the friend zone is important.

Jonathan Fodera (04:46)
Mm-hmm.

there's nothing wrong with paying for someone's time to increase your learning curve at what they're good at. when you're looking for a mentor, I would pick people that have built what you're trying to build in the same industry or similar industries. Because someone in the same industry isn't going to share all their trade secrets with you. I do business financing. So guys that are doing mortgages have a very similar

business profile, very similar money flows. And I could take anything from a successful mortgage brokerage and add it to what I'm doing. And they're going to tell me everything because we're not competing. In fact, there could be a win-win there where I send them all of my real estate deals and they send me all of their business financing deals.

when you get into some of these circles and some of these groups, watch what the leader's doing. Have they built it? Have they done it? How do they treat everyone that can't help them? Are they doing what they say they're going to do? Are they providing you the type of support that they promised when you cut that check? And when that stops, or when you see them not being congruent to their core values,

that should be a huge warning flag, I don't feel like enough people observe that, analyze that, and then act on it, nothing wrong with leaving a group when you understand that it's not a group that's going to serve you and it could potentially cost you. understand that not every group

can be monitored by the people that are running it. if you're part of a big group like Arate, there's 2,000 people in the group and the reality is Ed and Andy, while they are amazing mentors and coaches and leaders, they cannot monitor 2,000 people nor is that their job. you are going to get people that are in there for the wrong.

And you have to be cognizant of that and you have to watch out for that. I see it all the time I mean, that's how I got involved with the gym franchise that has bankrupted they've had eight franchisees and eight of them failed, Had anyone else been in my position and lost that amount of money? They're probably are claiming they're going through the bankruptcy process right now and I know a few that people that are from that

investment. that's the stuff you want to avoid. So ask questions, look for results that are not them and other people that have actually used their systems and processes to have success or maybe they failed. And that just comes down to, not doing your own due diligence. there's times that I've jumped into things without proper due diligence. And guess what? It costs me every time. Also, look for references on character. I'll give you guys a quick story

Keith Gause (07:05)
Right.

Jonathan Fodera (07:18)
I'm not going to divulge a person's name. However, I was doing a very, very large transaction in business financing and I needed to raise 700,000. I raised it from someone And it turns out that the escrow agent was dirty.

It's a law firm that I am currently suing. You guys can look this up. It's Messner Reeves. And they stole the 700,000 and they stole not just that 700,000, they stole multiple millions of dollars from people that were going through this type of financing. And there is a massive lawsuit that has come out in the LA Times and a couple other publications And me being...

The person I am, didn't want this person to suffer, I am under no obligation to pay him back since it was absolute fraud. However, I have been paying him back each month to make him whole on that 700,000. And I am paying, to get this lawsuit done that's coming out of my pocket. I didn't have to do that. I could have went to court over it and a court would have said, these people owe you the money.

That's not my style If I sign on something and I vouch for something, it's my responsibility. And so I've been paying that person back in monthly installments and it hurts. It hurts every time I cut that check. It's not a small amount of money. So look for people that have had those experiences and that can put their money where their mouth is. Because not everyone would do that. In fact, most people wouldn't.

And that should just go to show you work with people that are willing to do things like that. Instead of people that just talk a big game and say they have deep pockets and say they can make certain connections for you. when you hear and see somebody dropping names, And saying, Hey, I'm friends with this person. That person will open all the doors for you. That also should be a pretty big red flag,

Keith Gause (08:48)
Mm-hmm.

Jonathan Fodera (09:04)
Why can't you do things by yourself and why do you have to pull in, credibility from these people that you are supposedly friends with? that's a great way to get burnt. your inner circle, it shouldn't change week to week. these are people that you should be going to war with. if you're not offering them value and helping them in return, well, you're not gonna be in their inner circle for too long and they're gonna leave you.

It needs to be an absolute exchange of value. I'm not saying dollar for dollar or comment for comment. I'm saying if somebody helps you reciprocate when and how you can.

for?

Keith Gause (09:36)
reality

is that everyone's heard this. if you're even a wannabe entrepreneur or someone who is thinking about becoming an entrepreneur, givers gain, there's a book about it. It's real. And if you live by it, shit works out. The more you give, the more you receive by the universe. And

It's not always about chasing leads, chasing people, chasing relationships. It's about offering help. And the more that you can, the more that you can do that outwardly help with zero reciprocation, zero expectation, the shit just comes back in droves.

the reality is everyone knows they can call me. Since this conversation, I've had four text messages with people asking me random questions that I've been able to answer. And I get, thank you, thank you. And three of them are clients that have become clients over those types of interactions. always being the guy that people can go to or the lady that people can go to.

Whether you're the big guy in the room or the little guy in the room, you can always help someone. you have to find that avenue. And if you get into those rooms, you're going to be able to identify the movers and the shakers versus the shit talkers. Movers and the shakers are quiet. They're not the ones with the loudest bikes and the biggest trucks and the fastest cars. if you can be the quiet one,

and you can listen and soak it in, you'll get to the next level. If you force it, you're going to get to the next level, but you're going to be a clown and you're going to lose that level. And you're going to always get knocked down and come back,

I was able to figure that out over time and going into a bunch of different rooms and just investigating how the room operated.

Jonathan Fodera (11:06)
What are some of the things that you look for?

Keith Gause (11:08)
I like to watch people communicate with other people. look at their body language when they're speaking, Are they defensive? they the one upper, super excited, trying to hide the truth through exterior movements. being able to ask people questions and understand how they're moving and shaking and then understanding when to go in controlled questions.

What's your name? What do you do? What's your birthday? I can ask four or five controlled questions in a row and understand how you answer that. And then I can throw in the question that maybe has a little non-truth to it. Maybe your answer is a little stretched. You'll answer differently and you won't even know it, and people can pick up on it. I learned how to just be patient. I learned how to give.

Jonathan Fodera (11:42)
Yeah.

Keith Gause (11:49)
And through giving, I learned who the shitheads were.

let's expose the other side of this thing, Cause you don't know this. The reason that I did that is because I was sitting next to Scott, and Scott vouched for you when I called him asking who the finance person in the group was that I needed to get connected to. And so when Scott said that, Not even going to fucking question it.

Jonathan Fodera (12:05)
That makes sense.

Keith Gause (12:09)
At that point, I didn't even need to reach out to you to meet you. just knew through the stories and through Scott's personal relationship with you that I didn't have to worry about that piece. that's the other component. That was a strategic plan on my side, if I send you referrals and you don't know me, you always feel obligated to owe me. That's a referral tactic that I use. And it works.

Jonathan Fodera (12:28)
It's like a fucking charm. And now look Five years later, we're running a podcast together. do multiple things. If Keith ever calls, I will always pick up and whatever he needs, I will help him with. Why? Because I got to learn who he is and what he's about. And, we built a friendship over that and

Keith Gause (12:29)
It's not always an even trade, but it

Jonathan Fodera (12:46)
That is how you really build your inner circle. it's going with people that you know and you trust and you like. And a lot of times it's from recommendations and people don't value recommendations from people they're unsure of. if people are unsure of you and your character, it's very hard to build the right inner circle. What you're doing is you're building a bunch of hype people and those hype people, as soon as shit hits the fan or something goes wrong or haywire.

you will never see them or hear from them again. And, know, it's hard, at some point in any relationship, there's going to be discrepancies, And there's going to be differences. But the people that actually are there and have your back will work through that, talk that out and try to come to some middle ground And that's really what matters.

Keith Gause (13:11)
you

Jonathan Fodera (13:28)
who you keep in that inner circle and how you interact with them. those relationships have to be put on a pedestal, you have to honor them and try to be the best friend that you can be. that opens up so many different doors for you because as they're leveling up and as they're pushing, because no one in your inner circle should be less ambitious than you,

They need to be at least on your level, if not levels above. the reality is, if they're not pushing hard, they're not going to inspire you. If they're not pushing hard, they can't tell you how to get through the shit when shit gets tough, And that happens to each and every one of us. Every single business owner I know has dealt with more shit than they will ever care to admit, That they ever talk about. I hate.

Even talking about me raising that 700K gives me a pit in the bottom of my stomach. I don't even want to tell the story because I was a dumbass. It happened to me and hey, like it's cost me dearly over the last 18 months because of the checks that I have to write on a monthly basis. But you know what? It's also helped me to understand and learn lessons

I would never do that again. if I ever had any similar scenario, I know exactly what I need to look into to avoid any type of shit. being that person that people can count on when people do need something that you offer, you know that you're going to be the one that gets first looks, that gets the opportunity to help. And then you just need to come through in spades. It's pretty simple.

do unto others as you wish done unto you. And if you live by that and other things in that book, your life will actually turn out pretty awesome and amazingly blessed. And if you don't, you're not going to attract the right type of people at all. it's simple.

Keith Gause (15:12)
The problem is it only takes one wrong person to pull the plug on everything.

that goes into more things that we could talk about, know, hire fast or hire slow fire fast and those types of conversations. But reality is like all of this back into what we were really came in here to talk about was getting into the right rooms and how to utilize those rooms for your benefit versus becoming the cool guy in the room, becoming the loud person in the room and ultimately delaying career suicide. Cause that's what you're going to do. Your business is going to get a black eye.

There's a lot of companies that we've seen come in and out of those groups that still have a huge black eye. there's no changing. You just got to convince everyone every day that you're not a shithead and that hope that they do business with you. And that's going to get old relatively quickly.

Jonathan Fodera (16:00)
Once I defined and lived by my core values, it was so much easier to do business. And the reason is the people that are sending me business and the people that refer me are reputable people. And it is easy to work with the amount of referrals I get because

I'm not selling them on anything, I'm literally just trying to help them. It's not a sale, it's me going out above and beyond and trying to help them. All right, so Keith, what else you got on this?

Keith Gause (16:26)
Nothing. think, homework for the, for the listener or listeners, depending if we have more than one, you never know, would be to read that book. givers games, a great book to understand the psychology and it's really a, it's a game play, and if you can follow it and utilize it the way that it's suggest the shit will take care of itself.

then you don't necessarily have to try too much. You just be a good person, follow the book. It's relatively simple. It's crazy.

Jonathan Fodera (16:46)
Absolutely.

Yeah, do the right thing.

Crazy, crazy what happens when you do that. So guys,

do us a favor. The only thing I ever ask, share this with someone who needs to hear it. I can tell because we see the numbers every week and we know some of you guys share the show a lot and then some of you guys just listen and listen again the next week and while we appreciate you listening, it'd be awesome if you could share it for us. So share this and we will catch you on the next one. Take care.