Run a business with kids without burning out with Claire Creirie

Are you a small business owner out there wondering if running a business & raising young kids is even possible without the burnout?

I’m joined by Clare Crierie from Calm With Clare for a real, honest conversation about running a business and being a mum, the mental load of motherhood, and what it really takes to build a business while raising young children.

We talk about business and motherhood without burnout, the guilt that comes with juggling work and family life, and why learning how to look after yourself as a mum isn’t a “nice to have” it’s essential if you want your business to be sustainable.

If you’ve felt like you’re constantly putting yourself last while trying to make your business and family life work, this episode will feel very familiar.

This episode is sponsored by Claire from Word Craft - a website strategist and copywriter based in the North East of Scotland who works with clients across the UK and beyond. Claire helps small business owners and creative entrepreneurs with their website’s words, structure and flow to help attract those “I couldn’t-have-asked-for-better” clients. Choose from done-for-you website copy and blog writing, a strategic website audit (with an action plan so you know what you need to do to improve), or one-to-one advisory support so you can DIY your copy and content with greater confidence.
Connect with Claire on Instagram - @wordcraftclaire

Connect with Calm With Clare on Instagram here @calm.with.clare

Learn more:

Resources, free downloads and links mentioned in this episode can be found at smallbusinessgrowthaddicts.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello and welcome to another episode of Small Business Girl Fatics. Thank you so much for joining us today. I have an incredible guest today. I really, really enjoyed this conversation with Claire Creedy of Cam with Claire because we just have a really real honest conversation about motherhood and particularly motherhood and business. And it's quite focused around something that I heard recently. It was actually my chiropractor, who I'm only just seeing now, five years later, after pregnancy, to address some of the issues in my sort of skeleton, I guess, that happened during pregnancy. You know, so I was pregnant with my twins five years ago, and a lot of things shifted in my body, like my pelvis and my back and stuff, that have caused me problems. And it's only now five years later that I'm actually addressing them with a chiropractor. And I think that has a message in it in itself. But my chiropractor said to me recently a phrase that's just stuck with me so much. She said, To look after a child, you must first look after their mother. It just resonated so deeply with me. It's so true. And so today I'm diving right into that today with Claire of Calm with Claire. We're talking about motherhood and what that looks like, what it looks like when you're running a business from morning till afternoon, you know, how quickly school nursery time goes and all the things in between, but importantly how we can carve out in small pockets of time or larger pieces of time and resources and tools to look after ourselves as mothers in business. So let's get into it. Let's pause for a second to hear a word from our sponsors.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

The words on your website aren't just text. They drive every action your website visitors take. The websites copy, create first impression, guide people to the site, and compels them to fill in your contact form. Download your freebie, click on your services pages, and ultimately work with you. The words you use and how you weigh them out are what get those I couldn't have asked for better clients filling your diary. But getting it right isn't easy if you're doing it yourself. I'm Claire to WordCraft, and I help you get the strategy structure and storytelling right. So your website not only reflects who you are and what you do, but guides your ideal clients from curiosity to thinking yes, this is exactly who I want to work with, even if they didn't know it before.co.uk to get the right words in the right places and turn website visitors into your dream client.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Welcome Claire, welcome to Growth Addicts. Thank you, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Likewise, you're very welcome. I'm so pleased you're here. This feels like it's been a long time coming, but in the spirit of the conversation we're about to have, motherhood got in the way. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Those little ruffians always definitely know how to get in the way, don't they?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Yep, absolutely, absolutely. So I just want to start first off, tell me what your morning was like. Let's just get right into this. Like you've got one child yet, and you run your own business. What was your morning like?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

I wake up with a four-year-old on top of me.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Let's start with the cute thing of I wake up and she's laying on top of me and goes, Good morning, mama. And your little heart just melts, doesn't it? Your little heart melts. And I'm like, oh, morning, baby. And then she gets off of me, goes, looks outside the window, comes back, it's time to get up, and rips the covers off of me. Oh, the warp. It's freezing cold. And there I am in my pajamas, laying there freezing cold. Anyway, so it's just one of those things where you start and your nervous system is just like eh as soon as you get up, right? She's pretty good in the mornings, to be fair. I can't really be so hard on her because there is the the one. So we do go down, we have a nice breakfast, we do our gratitude first thing as we get downstairs as I'm making her weed a bicks. We talk about three things that we're grateful for in the morning. That kind of sets the scene. And then she has her breakfast number one, and then she has breakfast number two, and then she has breakfast number three. Honestly. Yep. Yeah. And meanwhile, she's doing all this. I'm checking my emails, I'm checking my Instagram, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, trying to get into the shower while she eats the rest of her breakfast. It's just mayhem, isn't it? It's absolute mayhem. And what time are we talking? What time is this happening at? She usually wakes up between 6:30 and 7, which is pretty good. Pretty good. Sometimes she wakes up at 7.15 and I'm like, yes, I got an extra 15 minutes today. And is she in school? Yeah, yeah. So she started reception this last year. So she's four. So she'll be five in July. Okay, so you've got to get her first to school for nine as well, then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a five-minute walk. So with it being sunny today, it was actually kind of like refreshing going out there. Oh, that's nice. And taking her to walk, even though it was minus one degree. So freezing cold. Those mornings are gorgeous, though, where it's cold but sunny. I love the cold and sunny mornings. As long as you're wrapped up and you're expecting it, I'd much rather that than it be raining.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

So yeah, I mean, I've had a similar morning. So I've got five-year-old twins, as you know. Usually wakes up with the boy one. And Claire's a twin. Claire's boy girl twins. When they were babies, like I could always tell them apart. Looking back at photos, they're quite similar, but you know, there's obvious differences. There are boy and a girl. But John and I used to be like, Where's the boy one? Or the girl one's awake? Or the boy one needs bed? Just kind of stuck between us. So yeah, usually the boy one's up first. And yeah, he'll spring through, like, Mommy, is it morning time? And there's always something going on as well. So this week it's we're gonna go for our first real Christmas tea this weekend, which we're all very excited about. We've never had a real one before. So Archer this morning was like, Mommy, how many sleeps is it till we get our Christmas tea? And I've like not even opened my eyes at this point. So yeah, mornings are crazy, aren't they? And like you have to get into school.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Ellie usually asks, What are we doing today? And I'm like, Okay, today we're going to school, or right now she's got her Christmas concert, which is December 1st. So now it's how many countdowns till Christmas? Is it tomorrow, mommy? Is it tomorrow, mommy? And I'm like, no, you've got however morning sleeps. And then she's also obsessed with Jack Frost at the moment as well.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

We like looking out in the morning and seeing if Jack Frost is good as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Yeah, and Dan made one passing comment about Jack Frost, and then she's been obsessed about him all week.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

That's what happens. So yeah, we've got all this going on as mums in the morning. And you mentioned as well, you will have a side eye maybe on your email or checking your Instagram in the morning too. And then it begs the question, why are we doing that then? Because it's already so much going on. If we had employed jobs, then we probably wouldn't be checking social media or anything in the morning for our business to see if we've had a big message overnight or anything's happened or whatever, what's happening. We would just be getting ourselves to work, wouldn't we? To start, let's say, nine sort of standard time. So why do you think we do it? As mums who've already got such a busy place, why do we choose to be self-employed overemployed?

SPEAKER_00 7:14

Oh, why do we? I mean, there is the bonus of obviously having that I can do my work while she's sat there eating her breakfast. So it's having that time freedom, but it's when the working hours leak into the family hours. So I do it in the morning and I don't even realize that I'm doing it. But it's almost to just get one box ticked while she's having her breakfast and while I'm standing in the kitchen having my coffee. It's like, okay, Instagram's checked this morning. I've responded to those messages, I've checked on my insights for the morning. That email's done now. I can cross that off. So then I go upstairs, get myself ready, come back down. We go out to school. And when I come back, I can, okay, I'll do the dishes really quickly. I'll tidy up. And then once that's all done, I can sit at my laptop and actually do work. It's like housekeeping in the morning, isn't it? It's like little things that you need to just tick off quickly so that when you sit down at your desk, you've got your list of things to do and you can just get stuck in. But as far as why do we do it, I don't fucking know.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Madness.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

Madness.

SPEAKER_02 8:19

And it's like almost the reason is within the madness itself because it's the flexibility to be able to do that, isn't it? Because maybe if you you so you have a five-minute walk to school, but maybe if you started a job at nine, you wouldn't be able to do the school drop-off.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Yeah, exactly. And it is so nice to have that little moment where she's skipping along, holding my hand, and taking her to school, and I get to see all of her little friends and say hi to her teachers. I would really miss that if I had to go to a normal job. Yeah, I mean, it's obviously not great going out in the minus one degree weather and stuff, but I love just being able to hold her hand and skip along with her to school and then being there when her little face comes out. She lights up when she sees you standing at the school gates and you get to walk along.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

Yeah. And my two go into school holding hands, like you wouldn't know that they knock lump out each other and fight constantly. Like they skip in like angels holding hands. So that is nice for me to witness for, you know, like one minute of the day. But it's funny, I don't know about you, because a whole part of me being self-employed is to have that flexibility around the family. But it it was in my mind long before I even had kids. Gosh, like when I was first self-employed, like almost 12 years ago now, I was in a relationship at that point that wasn't even there was never going to be kids in it. Like it wasn't a good relationship. But it was on my mind thinking at that point I was a bank manager in a retail bank branch, High Street Bank, and thinking, how would this work if I had kids? Like who's gonna like drop them at school or pick them up, or if they've got appointments or whatnot. And it's so funny because now, like, I just couldn't imagine any other way. Like, I couldn't imagine having to ask permission to take my son to a medical appointment. He has quite a few medical appointments, or just not being the one who would do that. It was always in my mind that I had a family, I wanted that flexibility, so it was a huge driver for me. If you know me by now, you'll know that I love social media. It's how I've grown my businesses and now I want to help you do the same. That's why I created Get Seen Get Sales, my mentor group for small business owners who want to get seen online and actually attract followers that convert to customers. Inside, you'll get weekly content prompts, live workshops, and support on everything you need to grow confidently on social media. If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just ready to do things differently, I've got you. Head to smallbusinessgrowthaddicts.com to join us.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah, see, mine came out of more of a dysregulated nervous system because before I came back home, I was in a really high stress job. So I worked as a beauty therapist and a stewardess on a super yacht, and I did that for eight years. So I was basically living and working under somebody else's rules. And I was told when I could go off the boat and told when I had to come back. And I was living in a cabin with younger girls and rules and like working 14-hour days, and it was very high stress, and there's nothing calm about it. My nervous system was so stressed out and so dysregulated that I got to a point after doing for eight years that I needed something different and I needed something that I felt more free and more flexible, and that I could do my job on my own terms. In my last year of yachting, that's when I really decided that I needed to do something for myself. It wasn't about family and all that kind of stuff. It was about just being more regulated in myself and doing something that set me on fire and that really where I could help myself in that moment. During that time is actually when I had already started planning my exit strategy from yachting, and that was my business bear where I do massage, waxing, and facials. So I'd already started making that plan, seeing what that business would look like for me, looking at houses that had a place that I could have my own studio. And I'd put an offer in my house and it was all going through, and then I found out I was pregnant. So it all really aligned perfectly. Everything that I had like visualized and manifested really came to fruition exactly how it was meant to be. Every once in a while, every self-employed business owner goes, maybe I should get a real job. And I think about that and it makes me just go, just thinking about going back to a workplace and having someone tell me what I have to do and the hours I have to work and that I have to ask for vacation. Oh, makes me no, I don't like it. I don't like the fact that I wouldn't be able to be there for Ellie's Christmas concert next week or pick her up from school if something were to happen, or or just set my own hours. Like that just makes me go inward and actually it makes me stress out. It makes me contract, just thinking about it. So having this freedom is definitely something that is good for my own nervous system, even though there are moments of contraction.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's the common themes there between my sort of reasons, your sort of reasons, it's all around flexibility and freedom, isn't it? That's the common denominators there. And you spoke about manifesting as well. And it's funny how all those years ago I was thinking if I am ever lucky enough to have a family, I want to do all those things and I want to have flexibility and freedom. Don't get me wrong, I was deeply unhappy in my job as well. And I had a burning desire to be self-employed. I just didn't know what I wanted to do was the problem for me at that point. But I knew I wanted to be my own boss in some capacity, but it was always around thinking I wanted flexibility and freedom and this family sort of vision. And I wonder if what you've just said there, the whole manifesting thing. Yeah. That it was meant to be because now, you know, I have my babies and my son has disabilities and medical complexities that require a lot of medical appointments and whatnot. And I'm pretty much unemployable, to be honest, because the amount of time I would need off. Who's gonna want to do that? So maybe it was just meant to be. Maybe I manifested it.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

You're a born leader, aren't you? You love doing this kind of stuff and you're so good at it. So you're definitely in the space that you're meant to be, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

Thank you so much. That was really kind. Thank you. But yeah, flexibility and freedom, and there's such a joy as well in having something that you've created yourself, isn't there? That you create, and every penny you earn, you have earned. You made that happen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:35

Yeah. And I think for me as well, like when I initially got into this, it was it was for my own freedom and my own flexibility. But during the last five years of doing this, I've really learned that it's not about me anymore. It's actually about the women that I help and the women that I have come into my studio and that I'm able to touch their lives and really, really help. So that's why everything has sort of taken more of a spiritual turn in the last two years than it had before, because it's more about now like actually touching the lives of the women that come in and helping in a way that I never even saw that I could help back then because I was so dysregulated and I wasn't in touch with anything to do with myself. It was just getting through the hours in the day and just making money and cracking on, like I'd been trained to for eight years. Whereas now everything's softened around me and I know that my purpose is to heal and to help. That's a beautiful place to be where I'm like, I couldn't even go back to a real job because then I wouldn't be helping the women that I'm helping now. And that's my purpose. Gosh.

SPEAKER_02 15:34

And that's when you know you're in the right job, you're in the right line of work, when you feel that sort of passion. And I'm lucky enough to feel it that as well with the business owners that I work with. Like it's an absolute privilege to be able to support other business owners in this journey. It really is like an honor. What an amazing time in your life when you get to a stage you're like you've arrived after all the perhaps shitty jobs you've done in the past, or ones that could not be further from aligned from what you feel that you're supposed to be doing, to then feel like you've really arrived. It's quite incredible, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 16:04

It's nice to be able to help women that appreciate it rather than billionaires that expect it.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And so you spoke about how you became self-employed. That sounds like such a unique job, right enough. You're working on a super yacht. Wow. And you're doing beauty therapy there, but it was more for your own certainty. You felt dysregulated, you knew this wasn't right, and you needed more flexibility and freedom and just more calm, which you know leads into your business name, calm with Claire. You need more calm in your own life, and you knew you were being called to do something different. And then you spoke there about how it started to take a more spiritual turn. Tell us a bit more about that because you know a lot of a bit woo-woo.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

So I had a business called the Float Yacht Spa Services, and I was supplying super yachts with anything that they would need to run their spa on board. And while I was in this space, it was really a matter of like I really wanted to help the end user, which was the spa therapist. But while I was running the business, I was really helping like the chief stewardess and the captains. And I was really in a place where I just was not happy because I wasn't helping the end user. Anyway, it was a real pivot time in my life where I realized that I'd gone back into that yachting dysregulation and I'd gone back into that contraction. And going into this moment, it was huge because it was a big business that I had started with this big idea that I was going to do so well for people in the spa industry because I wanted to help women. That was my whole thing, right? Was I just wanted to help. But in this moment, I had a huge awakening of actually, I don't belong in the yachting world anymore. I really belong in my healing space, and that's where I need to pivot all my attention to. So I spent a lot of time reflecting, a lot of time journaling, a lot of time meditating. And I decided that it was really time for me to close my spa supply business. And that's where Calm with Claire was born, because I decided that I needed to put all my eggs in this basket and really start to teach women how to connect with the woo without wearing white, moving to Bali, and becoming some kind of like witch or hippie. So that was my initial goal was to just, well, and it still is, to just teach women how you can regulate your system, how you can find a little bit of calm in your day, and how you can just come back to your own center without sitting in meditation for 20 minutes a day, or without doing all these crazy things that you see on the internet. It literally just begins with you. And that's when my mission and my vision really started was about two years ago, and how I stepped into this and really tapping into my spirituality and connecting with my higher self and doing all the woo and trying to teach that in a way that is understandable or just more digestible than what it had been before. So sort of just breaking it down and making it real rather than like so weird that people are like, oh, well, here she goes with her woo-boo shit again, you know? So and hopefully I convey that. Hopefully that comes across. But that's what I'm trying.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Like I've had more than one session with you now, Claire, in various sort of settings. And oh gosh, you're so good at what you do. I remember the very first, it was a free class you'd done a while ago.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Yeah, the Reclaim Your InnerCom masterclass.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Oh, it was so nice. And of course, Claire is a member of Get Seen Get Sales, which is our social media mentorship community. And at the time I was like, Claire, that should not have been free. That should have been paid for. Like, that was so good, you know, from a mentorship point of view, but also from a personal point of view, like that was awesome. Like I remember coming away from that, just like floating on air. And you have this really way where you have a voice that I listen to. Like, so I've listened to a lot of meditations over the year and a lot of different things in the spiritual woo woo space, let's call it that. And I'm just listening, and the words are just rolling over. And it's nice and that's fine, and then I get on with my day. But for some reason, when I listen to your meditations or been in a group class with you, like the Bedtime Cozy Club, which was really fun, and a Monday night for an hour to wind down, your words stick. I remember one night you were saying about letting go of what no longer serves you. I've heard that a thousand times and a thousand things I've listened to or read, but it just really stuck and penetrated the old brain. I would agree you're very much in the right job.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Oh, thank you very much. And I really appreciate that. I feel like when I say things like that, I really mean it and I have such intention behind my words. I send Reiki to basically everything that I'm gonna say and everything that I'm gonna do before I do it. So I feel like sometimes that has a little bit more of a resonance because I'm like sending the Reiki and kind of really integrating it into your system without you even really realizing it. Yeah, I'm glad you said that. And thank you very much. Because sometimes, you know, when you do all these things, you're like, oh, do people even care? Are people even noticing? Are they even listening? Is my message reaching the end user that it needs to? So thank you. That makes me feel better.

SPEAKER_02 21:04

Let's pause there for a second to hear a word from our incredible sponsors today. Not only are they awesome businesses, they also enable me to continue to provide the podcast and all the incredible information that it comes with for free for you.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

You know that feeling when you land on a website and it just feels right? Sometimes you can't exactly pinpoint why that is. But often it's because you can navigate it easily, you feel like the business is speaking to you, and you're compelled to explore further. It's just the experience you can offer and the results you can get to your business's website, too. Every word, every section, every little scroll can be stopped too to help guide someone to catch the button. That's a great website can be done. It works alongside your design, you've built your branding, but it's the words that need selling. I'm clear for WordCraft and ID. I have small participants creative entrepreneurs with attitude structure and storytelling right. So our website tells what you do effectively. Connect with people who feels like you. While guiding your ideal client, quickly realize that you're exactly who they want to work with. Explore how WordCraft can support you at Wordcraftsservices.co.uk.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

Calm with Clare was born at the same time as your daughter, really, wasn't it? If you then were moving house and building the new business and then you find out you were pregnant. So motherhood has been a huge part of the Cal with Clear journey, yeah?

SPEAKER_00 22:30

Yeah, definitely. My massage business was called Bear. So she will always be like, Are you going to Bear, Mummy? And she'll like paddle across and come over because it's in like I made my old garage into like the studio. So it's like in my backyard but separate from the house. She always takes like a gentle curiosity in what I'm doing. Like she knows like how to massage and facials. And then she's also really taken an interest in Reiki. So when I moved to the UK, I went and did like a Reiki course. I've been a Reiki master for years and years and years, but I felt like it would be a really good way for me to find women that were of a similar mind to me because I was really struggling to find anyone kind of spiritual in my space that I'm in now. And I was pregnant at the time. I went and got my Reiki one attunement in the UK. So I always call her my little Reiki baby because I got attuned with her in my belly. And so I always say that she's naturally got the Reiki in her. So yeah, she's my little Reiki baby. She's my little woo-woo child. And she just loves coming over there. And having a daughter and then having my business has been like the business side of it. It's hard. Like working from home and then going over there. Cause I'll come back in and I always at the end of every session, I come back in and grab a glass of water to go, then go back and say goodbye to my clients. So give them a moment to like integrate and stuff. And she kind of come in and she's like, You finished, mama? You finished? And then I'm like, honey, sorry, I've got like three more clients, or I'm just getting the water and I'm going back. Okay. And then I have to go back out and leave her little face. So that's hard coming in and seeing her and then leaving again.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

I think what you're touching on there is the old mum guilt. And I defy any mother who's listening to this to say that they've not ever experienced mum guilt. It's very much a thing, isn't it? And I think when you're a mother and have your own business, something I've noticed is this guilt where just gonna be honest. Like, you know, sometimes you want to be working on your business rather than doing crafts or playing or whatever, and it feels horrible. Like, why does that feel so bad?

SPEAKER_00 24:42

I feel like it's because we're so passionate about it and we love what we do so much that it excites us. Because I have this happen all the time where I'm like doing something on my phone and I'm like, oh, I've really got to just like write this message and hold my phone. Ellie be like, Mummy, phone. That makes me feel guilty. And then I'm like, oh, but I really was in the middle of writing like an email or a message back to a client, and then I'm just like, oh, and then it's this push and pull, isn't it? Of like, well, which one's more important? She wants me to sit here and watch Frozen, or do I respond to my client?

SPEAKER_02 25:12

And then it's like, it's hard, aren't they? Because motherhood's not always linear, it's not always as easy as saying you have set hours, you know, like okay, I'll work school hours. Doesn't always work like that. Sometimes they're off skill. Sickness is a lot, you know. That workload doesn't go away. You've still got to do it. And perhaps in an employee job, if you take a day off, then someone else would cover your workload. Maybe not in every job, you know, but when you're self-employed, it ends with you. So you you have to do that another time, which would probably be at night time, which can, you know, if you keep that up, that can lead to tiredness and exhaustion. No one wants that. Yeah. I recently started seeing a chiropractor, and ironically, this leaks into motherhood as well because it's mainly to address muscular skeletal issues that I've got going on, had going on since pregnancy, since twin pregnancy five years ago, and I'm only just getting around to it. I say my son's got a lot of health conditions, and we've spent a long time in hospital and chairs, sleeping in chairs and beds, and oh that well, beds are not beds, they're just like thin mattresses, you know. So my body physically has been through a lot since pregnancy, but a lot of these misalignments and whatever was from pregnancy. Anyway, I'm dealing with it now, dealing with it now. But something my chiropractor said to me is to look after children, you must first look after the mother. And I I genuinely can't stop thinking about it. Like, why is that not on like billboards and buses everywhere?

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Never a true word has been spoken, but that sentence makes so much sense. And this is what I'm trying to teach.

SPEAKER_02 26:49

And that's what I want to talk about next, for sure. I just feel like everybody needs to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

It's so true, and we're awesome at putting ourselves last. Five years it's taken me to go to the chiropractor. So I think we're nailing that part.

SPEAKER_03 27:04

It's so easy to look after everyone else. Why is it gotta be so hard to look after ourselves?

SPEAKER_00 27:09

It's just the natural role that we play, isn't it? That we just need to make sure that everyone else is taken care of. And then if there's a little bit of time left over in the day, we might look after ourselves or we might just doom scroll just to kind of give ourselves a mental time out or stare at the TV blankly and then go to bed. And then we do it all over again the next day. But we've got to turn that around, haven't we?

SPEAKER_02 27:31

We do. We do. If it makes you feel better about looking after yourself, reframe it as in it's not selfish. You don't need to feel guilty. You're not doing it for you, you're actually doing it for everyone else. If that's what you need to do to do it, start there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Yeah, exactly. I honestly think that even just starting with two minutes a day would make a huge difference. As we said before, the call, it's like habit stacking, right? So I started meditating a long time ago. So it is sort of something that is very natural for me now, but I completely understand that the thought of meditation to someone is so woo-woo, and people constantly say, I can't do that. I don't know how to shut my brain off. I don't know how to do that. I don't even want to try and start it. Those are the people that need to try and that need to start. And I'm not even saying that you need to go sit down and try and do a 20-minute meditation. How I recommend that people start is basically taking your cup of tea or your cup or coffee in the morning, get your kids set up with their breakfast or the iPad or however they sit and kind of veg out in the morning. And literally, even if you're just standing in your kitchen, take your mug, close your eyes, feel the warmth of the mug on your hands, feel the steam of the drink going up into your nostrils and feel the warmth. Close your eyes and take three belly breaths in. And with each exhale, you literally just feel everything melting away. So you go in and then let it all melt out, and it'll take 30 seconds. And then if you've not got 30 seconds, we need to have a whole other conversation, don't we? Exactly. And that is how you can start your day with the tiniest bit of calm and the tiniest bit of a moment for yourself, and then you just move into your day. You don't even realize how much that will impact your day. How will it? What is the benefit of that? It's just resetting your nervous system, isn't it? It's allowing your body to feel safe for one moment. So you're waking up and you're feeling safe rather than waking up like having the covers thrown off of you at fight or flight. You're taking that away. You're arriving into your own body. You're feeling safe with who you are within yourself. You feel calm, safe, secure, loved because you've taken that moment for yourself. And it just resets your whole system. And then you can move on into your day and hopefully remain a bit more calm. If your kid's not putting their shoes on when you're asking them to, and you end up losing your shit, that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 30:01

Yeah. Yep. Because at least you've tried.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

And then actually, when you get into the practice of those just taking a deep breath, just literally taking two, three deep breaths. You can even start to practice doing that when they're not putting their shoes on, when you're, you know, calling them for the fifth time. Like we need to go.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Yeah, I have a cute story about this. So it was a few weeks ago, and I can't even remember where Ellie and I were going. Dan wasn't here, it was just the two of us. I had so many bags that were going in the car. Ellie and I were going away for the night somewhere. And I had so many bags, and I was trying to get her ready, and we were running late, and I had, you know, had to get myself ready and we're getting in the car. And I've got, go get in the car, Ellie. You need to get ready. You go put your seatbelt on. And I'm like throwing bags in. And I reach across and I'm going to put her seatbelt. And she looks at me and goes, Mummy, calm down. And I was like, I was like, Ellie, you're right. Mommy needs to calm down. Thank you. And so we both stood there. I'm on the outside of the car. She's in the car. And we took a deep breath. And I was like, okay, we're late, but that's okay. I was like, thank you. It took a four-year-old in that moment to remind me to calm down. And I was like, oh, okay. What I say does actually resonate with her. So that's good. But she is your little Reiki baby. She's my Reiki baby. She's my mini baby. Yeah. But in that moment, that was exactly what I needed because there was no reason for me to be running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Because we were already late. We were going to be five minutes late, anyways. It doesn't matter. It wasn't the end of the world. I was just running later than I the time I had put on myself.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

Quick pause from our conversation because I'm wondering how you'd feel if I told you I could give you a free£50 today. Yep, if you've been thinking about moving your business bank account or perhaps you don't have a business bank account yet, I can highly recommend Monzo. And if you open an account with them via the link in today's show notes, you get a free£50. Monzo are free to bank with.com for the link and enjoy. They can be reminders for us to slow down. And I mean we can even take those moments in if they are down on the floor drawing a picture and want you to come and help them colour in. Maybe take that as your moment and have a got two minutes to do this. Go down, grab a colour-in pencil, and colour in and just lose yourself in that process for two minutes. Everything can wait for two minutes, can't it?

SPEAKER_00 32:43

If it's not like I did that on Sunday. I took a day off on Sunday and like an actual full day off I took on Sunday. And I felt like a brand new woman. I colored, we crafted, we cooked. Like it was just amazing. We watched movies, and it was just like a day where we really needed to just reconnect as a family and try to not do all the housework, try to not do any work of my own. The universe gave me a sign that day. Let me just tell you a little sidebar. Dan had taken Ellie up to Marson's so I could just have like an hour to myself. I had a nice hot shower. I gave myself a facial, gave myself a pedicure, painted my toenails. And while they were at the grocery store, I thought, oh, I can just snip into the office and write an email really quickly. I came into the office, went to grab my laptop. I was doing it sneakily while they were gone. And as I did it, there's a poster roll that fell right on top of my freshly painted toenails. And I was like, thank you, universe. I'm listening. I'm having a day off today. And I just closed the laptop.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

And I was like, the universe has spoken.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

There's signs everywhere, isn't there? You know, if anyone's listening is in this juggle and motherhood and thinking, yeah, it's okay, time out for yourself, but I don't have an hour to go to a yoga class in the afternoon, or I don't know how to meditate. Just start by taking a deep breath in the morning, in the afternoon, whenever you need it. Start that as a practice, like on top of something you're doing, as you're saying, you're waiting for the kettle to boil, you know, or you've just a minute. Take a few deep breaths, might actually be less than a minute. Or rather than battling that gill of, oh, I've got need to go and fold the washing, clothes, put the washing on, the kids are asking me to colour and run around with them, like maybe see that as your mindfulness moment for that day. Just stop, drop, and go and colour or run, dance. But it's just trying to find these mindfulness moments in our day rather than adding them to the play, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 34:43

And see how you feel. And connecting to your inner child is really good for regulating your nervous system as well. Like you said, dancing, that's like one of the fun things, most fun things you could ever do. And that really raises your vibration. So even if you just want to hang out with the kids for a minute, pop on a fun song, pop on K pop demon hunters, and you know, yeah, walk away.

SPEAKER_02 35:02

We were the kids were dancing in the living room recently to a song that was just playing on Alexa. And then Archer, my son, had turned to me and was like, Mummy, would you like to come up on the stage and dance with me? Who could say no? And just did it. And like, it's actually like a bit of a workout as well, you know, you're just moving, shaking all that energy off, having fun with the kids. There's no guilt, there's no nothing. And whatever I was doing at that moment, I mean, I certainly can't remember it now. It could wait.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Exactly. And the kids remember that.

SPEAKER_02 35:29

And they're only going to be this little once. And so we really need to give ourselves a break, find these moments when we can and remember that to look after the children, you look after the mother.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

I don't want anyone to be in this misconception that I think that I'm the calmest woman in the world because I'm actually not. I'm doing this and I'm teaching all this because I'm actually living it and going through it myself. And I just feel like these are constant little reminders that I can share with people just to help everyone else kind of connect with what I'm also doing. Everything that I teach, I am actively doing and aware of.

SPEAKER_02 36:03

That was what makes you different, I think, because it's, you know, I know that you get it. And you know, the last according of a session that you sent me, I haven't listened to it yet. And I know that you get it. But like you should take the time out, you should sit and enjoy it, but you also understand why I haven't done that yet. It's so different learning for someone who's walking the same walk as you. And as a mentor myself as well, I always say that I'm sharing what I know, what I know to be true, what I've learned, but most importantly, what I'm still learning. And that's the sort of mentor, coach, guidance that I can relate to as well. I don't believe in fully qualified in anything because how can that even be a thing? Things are changing all the time.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

Constantly. And it adapts with each person. It always adapts to each person because we're all different. It's never going to be one cookie-cutter way for anyone to regulate their nervous system or to, you know, because sometimes the meditation isn't going to work right for one person. Remember, I we've had this conversation before where you say that you really connect to visualizing more than you connect to sitting still. So there's always going to be a way that people will connect with their center and their calm, that we'd be able to find out what that is through conversation or through journaling or trying different things. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

And we've touched a few times on social media about, you know, having a quick check of Instagram or whatnot. It's an important part of our business, isn't it? And I enjoy social media. And I only now really starting to say that without guilt, like because it gets such a bad rate. But I have met yourself included. I met you on Instagram. Like I have met some incredible people through social media who I just can't think how our past would have crossed elsewhere. It's about curating that to make it a place that you want to open up. I mean, you don't have to follow who you don't want to follow. You can unfollow and make your feed a place you open up, and you're like, oh, there's Claire. What's Claire been up to? What's she saying this morning? You know, it doesn't have to be a bad thing at all, does it?

SPEAKER_00 37:57

No, no, definitely. I think it's a beautiful thing because we, like you said, we do get to meet all sorts of different people. And I've come across some incredible women that I've been become friends with now, yourself included. Like this is so amazing that, you know, we're becoming friends and we get to learn and grow with each other and teach each other different things from each business. The online space, especially in wellness, is massive, massive. But not everyone's going to be everyone's cup of tea. And I just really hope that I can be just that little slice of calm for someone in their day. But it's also helped me with my healing as well, because I've met people that have really helped me on my journey. It's amazing what you can find out there. But saying all of that, there is also like the whole competitive part and the comparisons and all that. So that can be a little bit of a rabbit hole that you can fall down. So I found that I've started to unfollow the people that I compare myself to. And that has been a massive shift for me. Taking away the negativity out of my social media has made it a much more enjoyable experience now.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

So glad to hear that. Like as a social media mentor, I am so glad to hear that. Comparing yourself to someone else online is really, it really is crazy because you have no idea what their stage is, how far ahead they are, how true it is, what they're saying, what they're sharing. It really is, you know, it's awful, an awful thing to do to yourself, but so easy to fall into. And that's what the unfollowable block mute buttons are there for. So use them. Protect your own piece at all costs.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

Yeah. I was thinking this morning, I was like, oh, I should I haven't done like a nighttime routine in a while. I was like, maybe I should do a reel about that. And then I was like, oh, I'll have to get some cute jammies. Then I was like, Whoa, where did that come from? I was like, why do I need cute jammies? I was like, no, I'm not gonna buy cute jammies just to do a reel.

SPEAKER_02 39:47

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

I'm like, that's not realistic.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

And this is where, you know, in Get See and Get Sales, the mentorship group that I lead in Claire's a valued member of our community there. How I'm just Always trying to drop back to like ideal client. Does your ideal client need to see you in cute jammies? Is that what they're really looking for? Are they just looking for a mum who's really able to show up? Like, maybe if you showed up in your cute jammies that were brand new out of the packet of like, oh my god, look at her. She's so polished and so well. She'd go to her bed as well. And look at her jammies or look at mine, they've got stains on them. Well, that's how I usually would show up.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

So that's how I will show up.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Exactly. And then we'd be like, she is our people.

unknown 40:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Yeah. You know, I mean, and I I know that people listen to this that social media is a huge part of running your business and it can feel like a huge drain at times and a stress and a pressure. But please, I beg of you, first of all, curate who you're following so that at least when you open it up before you've posted or thought about what you're posting, at least make it a nice place to be. Connect with people you want to connect with. Be social on it, chat with people, not just for the sake of algorithm pleasing or trying to get more reach, like genuinely reach out and connect with people that you want to connect with. It makes it such a nicer place to be. Like, I have such an incredible community of people on Instagram. I love it. And that can only be a good thing for your business. It really can. When it comes to posting for your business, always think your ideal client. That's the only person you're posting for. No one else. No one else, not your friends from school who you've not seen in 10 years. Like block them if they're going to even prevent you from showing up authentically. 100%. You're only posting for your ideal client. And post with purpose as well. Never just think, God, I need to post something today. Take a step back. As Claire suggested, deep breath, clear the decks. What do you want this post to do? And then create the post.

SPEAKER_00 41:40

Pausing and breathing.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

Yeah. If we take nothing else from this conversation today, please pause and breathe. Take some little calm. Yeah. You have an awesome resource to share with us today as well that can help us do that. Am I right?

SPEAKER_00 41:52

Yes. I have a digital download. It's called Three Minutes to Calm. So it's a meditation that I have created. It's just a very simple three minutes to just close your eyes, breathe, follow my voice. There's no pressure. There's no long silences that you need to get out of your head, become silent and quiet in your head. It's just following my voice, resetting your nervous system, finding a little bit of calm in your day, and listening to that. And then hopefully moving on with your day, feeling like, huh, it's a great meditation to listen to to settle into sleep as well, which is when I do my meditating. It's in the evening when Ellie's asleep is a great time for me now as a mom to do all of my rituals, my journaling, my meditating, and my card pulls and stuff in the evening rather than the morning, because my morning routine is so hectic these days that I've had to do a little flip in my routine. So love that.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

And I have done Claire's three-minute meditation and also went deeper on that and purchased the meditation pack. They're all lovely, they're all great. You can dip in and out, take what you need, you can listen to them even when you're walking, or as Claire said, if you're winding down for the night, pop them on in the morning. They're very good. So I'll link to the three-minute meditation in the show notes today so that anyone can go and find that. But yeah, I just feel like that was just a really lovely conversation about motherhood and business and the reality of it, and that you're not alone, we're here, and there are small steps you can take to look after the mother.

SPEAKER_03 43:16

Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

For the children. It's a kind of conversation when I was setting up this business I'm doing now when you know twins were still small. I was setting this business up in nap time, probably like yourself and a lot of others who are listening. I would have loved to have hear a conversation like this of just like, okay, so there's others out there.

SPEAKER_03 43:34

Yeah. Everyone else is there's other people enduring the co chaos, like we are too. So that yeah, we're here for you. So is there anything else you'd like to add today, Clear, before we we wrap up?

SPEAKER_00 43:46

No, I don't think so. I think we've gone over everything. I just want to remind everyone to look after themselves, to take a moment for themselves and just know that there are people like Amanda and I that are here to help you. So if you do need anything, please reach out. I'm definitely here. And I do offer my one-to-one Reiki sessions as well. So if anybody would like a deeper healing, then that is something that I also offer. And we can do it online or in person if you're in the Chester area. Oh, awesome. I wish I was in the Chester area. I would never be away from your studio.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

But I'll have to do an online session.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Yes, I'll link to Claire's Instagram as well. So come and find us there. If you've got any questions after today, or you know, you're just interested in this stuff, you just want to say hi as a fellow mum that's in the trenches. We're here. We're here for you. Come and say hi, reach out. Yeah, and just try and find those minutes of calm. And if you can't find three minutes to do Claire's three minutes meditation, then definitely reach out because you definitely need to talk to Claire.

unknown 44:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

Thank you. Thank you so much for joining us today, Claire. That was a pleasure. And I will speak to you soon. Thank you so much for joining us today for another episode of Small Business Growth Addicts. I hope today's episode has given you inspiration and tangible tips that you can use to grow your small business in a way that feels right for you. If you love today's episode, please head over to smallbusinessgrowthadicts.com and check out today's show notes where you can find details of our wonderful guests, sponsors, discounts, freebies, and so much more. Please also don't forget to leave a review today. Reviews are invaluable to us to help us get the show out there. Every single one is red and very much appreciated. Until next time.