{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.92,"body":"Coming up on the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":3.92,"endTime":7.36,"body":"Every leader has four critical relationships"},{"startTime":7.36,"endTime":9.8,"body":"that they need to manage."},{"startTime":9.8,"endTime":14.8,"body":"These relationships are always present in any leader's life."},{"startTime":14.8,"endTime":19.96,"body":"How they approach this, how they customize,"},{"startTime":19.96,"endTime":23.02,"body":"how they adjust to it is so key."},{"startTime":23.02,"endTime":24.08,"body":"So we wanna talk about"},{"startTime":24.08,"endTime":26.92,"body":"what these four critical relationships are"},{"startTime":26.92,"endTime":29.88,"body":"and the unique challenges,"},{"startTime":29.88,"endTime":32.84,"body":"the unique needs, the language essentially"},{"startTime":32.84,"endTime":36.52,"body":"as to what each of these relationships speak"},{"startTime":36.52,"endTime":41.52,"body":"and what can go wrong if you don't customize to it."},{"startTime":41.52,"endTime":44.7,"body":"And we can definitely share some examples of leaders"},{"startTime":44.7,"endTime":49.26,"body":"that when you don't focus on the needs of each separately,"},{"startTime":49.26,"endTime":50.64,"body":"things can go bad."},{"startTime":50.64,"endTime":53.22,"body":"(upbeat music)"},{"startTime":58.96,"endTime":61.68,"body":"- Hello everyone, welcome to the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":61.68,"endTime":64.48,"body":"I'm Daniel Stewart joined by my brother Peter"},{"startTime":64.48,"endTime":68.72,"body":"and we are diving into another episode of the podcast here."},{"startTime":68.72,"endTime":71.04,"body":"Excited to be here together."},{"startTime":71.04,"endTime":73.52,"body":"And Peter, how's the week?"},{"startTime":73.52,"endTime":76.48,"body":"What's something interesting that's been happening to you?"},{"startTime":76.48,"endTime":78.9,"body":"- It's been a good week."},{"startTime":78.9,"endTime":81.48,"body":"Always good to have time to meet with you,"},{"startTime":81.48,"endTime":83.94,"body":"record another episode of the podcast."},{"startTime":83.94,"endTime":86.4,"body":"I'm always learning as we're chatting."},{"startTime":86.4,"endTime":88.98,"body":"So here's an insight from the week."},{"startTime":88.98,"endTime":91.56,"body":"(upbeat music)"},{"startTime":91.56,"endTime":96.08,"body":"I've been sharing a fact for several years"},{"startTime":96.08,"endTime":98.44,"body":"and I always appreciate it when I am corrected."},{"startTime":98.44,"endTime":101.92,"body":"I wanna make sure I'm sharing accurate information."},{"startTime":101.92,"endTime":104.96,"body":"- Were you just corrected on this you say?"},{"startTime":104.96,"endTime":108.32,"body":"- Yeah, well, I uncovered information of like, wow,"},{"startTime":108.32,"endTime":111.28,"body":"I have actually been sharing a false information."},{"startTime":111.28,"endTime":113.52,"body":"- Ooh, okay, what is it?"},{"startTime":113.52,"endTime":115.92,"body":"- So I've for several years,"},{"startTime":115.92,"endTime":118.92,"body":"I've been sharing this little fact about our brain"},{"startTime":118.92,"endTime":123.92,"body":"about that we have over 16,000 independent thoughts"},{"startTime":123.92,"endTime":125.34,"body":"each and every day."},{"startTime":125.34,"endTime":129.76,"body":"16,000, that's a lot."},{"startTime":129.76,"endTime":133.88,"body":"And now I've been corrected."},{"startTime":133.88,"endTime":138.88,"body":"The Cleveland Clinic has posted an update to that fact."},{"startTime":138.88,"endTime":144.24,"body":"It's not 16,000, it's closer to 70,000."},{"startTime":144.64,"endTime":147.52,"body":"- Seven zero thousand."},{"startTime":147.52,"endTime":148.36,"body":"- Wow, 70."},{"startTime":148.36,"endTime":152.68,"body":"- That is a lot of thoughts that we have each and every day."},{"startTime":152.68,"endTime":156.82,"body":"So the insight from that is one,"},{"startTime":156.82,"endTime":160.16,"body":"we can give ourselves a little bit more grace"},{"startTime":160.16,"endTime":164.24,"body":"and why we might not remember everything"},{"startTime":164.24,"endTime":168.3,"body":"we've seen that day or talked about or thought that day."},{"startTime":168.3,"endTime":170.54,"body":"But I think it also is really impactful"},{"startTime":170.54,"endTime":174.14,"body":"to think about all of those that we interact with."},{"startTime":174.14,"endTime":176.76,"body":"We may have said that one thing to them"},{"startTime":176.76,"endTime":178.64,"body":"that we expect them to remember,"},{"startTime":178.64,"endTime":182.94,"body":"but we are now competing that one thought"},{"startTime":182.94,"endTime":187.44,"body":"with 70,000 other thoughts that that person has had that day."},{"startTime":187.44,"endTime":189.48,"body":"It's really amazing we remember anything."},{"startTime":189.48,"endTime":190.84,"body":"(laughing)"},{"startTime":190.84,"endTime":193.42,"body":"So 70,000 independent thoughts."},{"startTime":193.42,"endTime":198.88,"body":"- That's a lot going on in all of our brains all the time"},{"startTime":198.88,"endTime":200.94,"body":"as we're processing, as we're recalling,"},{"startTime":200.94,"endTime":204.76,"body":"as we're being able to then speak and connect."},{"startTime":204.76,"endTime":207.32,"body":"Okay, so let me connect that to something"},{"startTime":207.32,"endTime":210.56,"body":"that I know you've often shared in the past as well,"},{"startTime":210.56,"endTime":215.56,"body":"that our brains are continuing to five times every second,"},{"startTime":215.56,"endTime":221.52,"body":"analyze and test to see if they're feeling safe."},{"startTime":221.52,"endTime":222.36,"body":"- Yeah."},{"startTime":222.36,"endTime":223.84,"body":"- So five times every second,"},{"startTime":223.84,"endTime":226.92,"body":"our brain is continually looking at the environment"},{"startTime":226.92,"endTime":229.68,"body":"and checking to see, do I feel safe?"},{"startTime":230.68,"endTime":234.48,"body":"And this is not just physical, this is psychological,"},{"startTime":234.48,"endTime":237.96,"body":"this is emotional, any sort of aspect of safety."},{"startTime":237.96,"endTime":241.18,"body":"And so you can then have a very clear understanding"},{"startTime":241.18,"endTime":246.18,"body":"of five times a second, 70,000 thoughts every day."},{"startTime":246.18,"endTime":250.98,"body":"And no doubt the safety component"},{"startTime":250.98,"endTime":253.48,"body":"has got to fit in quite well,"},{"startTime":253.48,"endTime":257.56,"body":"which frankly begs the question and raises the importance"},{"startTime":257.56,"endTime":260.22,"body":"of the importance of psychological safety."},{"startTime":261.02,"endTime":262.46,"body":"Do I belong?"},{"startTime":262.46,"endTime":264.26,"body":"Do I feel safe with you?"},{"startTime":264.26,"endTime":267.06,"body":"Not just physically, but psychologically."},{"startTime":267.06,"endTime":267.9,"body":"Do you like me?"},{"startTime":267.9,"endTime":268.78,"body":"Do I like you?"},{"startTime":268.78,"endTime":270.42,"body":"Do I belong here?"},{"startTime":270.42,"endTime":272.66,"body":"Do you value who I am?"},{"startTime":272.66,"endTime":276.22,"body":"Those are just these human needs that pop up so much"},{"startTime":276.22,"endTime":280.1,"body":"and you can see how they can fit into the 70,000."},{"startTime":280.1,"endTime":282.3,"body":"- Oh, completely."},{"startTime":282.3,"endTime":285.12,"body":"And the safer one feels,"},{"startTime":285.12,"endTime":288.82,"body":"then that actually frees up other neurological pathways"},{"startTime":288.82,"endTime":292.02,"body":"to have creative thought, to be able to share those,"},{"startTime":292.02,"endTime":295.86,"body":"to be able to have more of those executive function"},{"startTime":295.86,"endTime":300.22,"body":"type behaviors of memory, of being able to pause"},{"startTime":300.22,"endTime":303.1,"body":"and to regulate our attention span"},{"startTime":303.1,"endTime":305.22,"body":"and all those sorts of things."},{"startTime":305.22,"endTime":308.9,"body":"So it is, it's our brains are going"},{"startTime":308.9,"endTime":312.24,"body":"a million miles a second all the time."},{"startTime":312.24,"endTime":317.24,"body":"So we can harness that, we can leverage that understanding,"},{"startTime":317.24,"endTime":320.74,"body":"but also recognizing the importance of the environment"},{"startTime":320.74,"endTime":324.18,"body":"we're creating for others and how we impact those."},{"startTime":324.18,"endTime":325.68,"body":"Do we allow them to really show up"},{"startTime":325.68,"endTime":328.84,"body":"and be their true authentic self and feel safe being so?"},{"startTime":328.84,"endTime":330.32,"body":"- Yeah."},{"startTime":330.32,"endTime":335.32,"body":"You could also imagine the stream of negative thoughts"},{"startTime":335.32,"endTime":338.78,"body":"that might come or self-doubting"},{"startTime":338.78,"endTime":342.14,"body":"or the blind spots that can come in that you and I"},{"startTime":342.14,"endTime":345.32,"body":"and so many others at Stewart Leadership work with executives"},{"startTime":345.32,"endTime":349.88,"body":"and leaders helping them recognize not to let that,"},{"startTime":349.88,"endTime":354.16,"body":"either the imposter syndrome or the negative self-thought"},{"startTime":354.16,"endTime":359.16,"body":"or the self-doubts, the gaps that we have"},{"startTime":359.16,"endTime":364.3,"body":"in how we view ourselves, not to let that overwhelm"},{"startTime":364.3,"endTime":367.78,"body":"and take control, but for us to be able to pause"},{"startTime":367.78,"endTime":370.3,"body":"and go, wait a minute, what are alternatives, narratives"},{"startTime":370.3,"endTime":371.84,"body":"that we can tell ourselves?"},{"startTime":372.7,"endTime":375.5,"body":"And what we're talking about in our minds"},{"startTime":375.5,"endTime":378.2,"body":"as we work with others, how do we view"},{"startTime":378.2,"endTime":382.22,"body":"in a sense of confidence to be able to then move forward?"},{"startTime":382.22,"endTime":385.86,"body":"All of this plays so important, such in a large part"},{"startTime":385.86,"endTime":389.52,"body":"to help leaders have a healthy self-narrative"},{"startTime":389.52,"endTime":391.62,"body":"to help them show up as their best self."},{"startTime":391.62,"endTime":397.18,"body":"- And that whole concept of recognizing the narrative"},{"startTime":397.18,"endTime":401.06,"body":"that we have, that internal dialogue, that thought train"},{"startTime":401.06,"endTime":406.02,"body":"and how conscious we are of that, and actually the impact"},{"startTime":406.02,"endTime":408.98,"body":"or the influence we can have on controlling"},{"startTime":408.98,"endTime":412.38,"body":"where that internal dialogue and narrative goes."},{"startTime":412.38,"endTime":414.68,"body":"You know, are they going in helpful pathways?"},{"startTime":414.68,"endTime":417.98,"body":"Are they going in more unhelpful?"},{"startTime":417.98,"endTime":419.38,"body":"Everybody can struggle with it,"},{"startTime":419.38,"endTime":421.54,"body":"as you brought up imposter syndrome."},{"startTime":421.54,"endTime":426.5,"body":"It was about 50% of all leaders struggle"},{"startTime":426.5,"endTime":427.76,"body":"with imposter syndrome."},{"startTime":429.58,"endTime":431.78,"body":"And what is, just for those that aren't familiar"},{"startTime":431.78,"endTime":434.7,"body":"with imposter syndrome, it's this notion"},{"startTime":434.7,"endTime":438.64,"body":"that you really don't know what you're doing."},{"startTime":438.64,"endTime":444.7,"body":"And if other people truly knew how often you were kind"},{"startTime":444.7,"endTime":449.18,"body":"of winging it and not really sure what the correct answer is"},{"startTime":449.18,"endTime":451.38,"body":"that they'd fire you on the spot."},{"startTime":451.38,"endTime":456.5,"body":"So it's this idea that it's not that uncommon"},{"startTime":456.5,"endTime":459.98,"body":"for people to feel like they might not know exactly"},{"startTime":459.98,"endTime":464.7,"body":"what they're doing, especially as you get an advance"},{"startTime":464.7,"endTime":466.36,"body":"in leadership roles."},{"startTime":466.36,"endTime":467.5,"body":"That's just a part of it."},{"startTime":467.5,"endTime":472.34,"body":"So much of that is stretching one's comfort zone,"},{"startTime":472.34,"endTime":474.6,"body":"being able to engage in activities that are beyond"},{"startTime":474.6,"endTime":478.26,"body":"what you've done before, having that belief"},{"startTime":478.26,"endTime":481.42,"body":"that if you don't have the answer personally,"},{"startTime":481.42,"endTime":483.98,"body":"you're willing to rely on those around you"},{"startTime":483.98,"endTime":486.04,"body":"for that support and that help."},{"startTime":487.04,"endTime":487.88,"body":"Those connections."},{"startTime":487.88,"endTime":490.22,"body":"So those relationships are powerful."},{"startTime":490.22,"endTime":493.44,"body":"- Fantastic."},{"startTime":493.44,"endTime":497.64,"body":"Okay, so 70,000 thoughts and how we then approach it,"},{"startTime":497.64,"endTime":501.2,"body":"how we recognize it matters for sure."},{"startTime":501.2,"endTime":502.22,"body":"- Very much so."},{"startTime":502.22,"endTime":504.58,"body":"So now we've added a couple thoughts for people."},{"startTime":504.58,"endTime":506.52,"body":"- That's right."},{"startTime":506.52,"endTime":507.36,"body":"- 70,002."},{"startTime":507.36,"endTime":510.6,"body":"(both laughing)"},{"startTime":510.6,"endTime":511.7,"body":"- Well, that's great."},{"startTime":511.7,"endTime":515.24,"body":"All right, next segment here."},{"startTime":515.24,"endTime":516.32,"body":"Memory lane."},{"startTime":516.32,"endTime":518.9,"body":"(upbeat music)"},{"startTime":518.9,"endTime":523.44,"body":"We talked about this a little bit before the show"},{"startTime":523.44,"endTime":525.4,"body":"as we prepped here."},{"startTime":525.4,"endTime":527.5,"body":"You wanna introduce the memory lane thought"},{"startTime":527.5,"endTime":530.9,"body":"and I'll just say one word, Koosh."},{"startTime":530.9,"endTime":531.74,"body":"That's right."},{"startTime":531.74,"endTime":536.6,"body":"That's the interesting, Peter, the Koosh, the Koosh ball."},{"startTime":536.6,"endTime":539.34,"body":"Why is that on the memory lane?"},{"startTime":539.34,"endTime":543.42,"body":"- Oh my, the minute that got brought up,"},{"startTime":543.42,"endTime":548.42,"body":"I'm taken back to the bonus room above the garage,"},{"startTime":548.42,"endTime":551.08,"body":"which was dad's office growing up."},{"startTime":551.08,"endTime":553.42,"body":"And so he traveled a lot."},{"startTime":553.42,"endTime":556.72,"body":"And oftentimes he'd fly out on a Sunday"},{"startTime":556.72,"endTime":558.6,"body":"to head somewhere for the week."},{"startTime":558.6,"endTime":562.08,"body":"And so Sunday afternoon, after we got back from church,"},{"startTime":562.08,"endTime":566.28,"body":"it has four boys in the house, our brothers,"},{"startTime":566.28,"endTime":571.28,"body":"we'd have a lot of energy and mom needed a break."},{"startTime":571.34,"endTime":575.2,"body":"So she'd get a break, she could go rest"},{"startTime":575.2,"endTime":579.26,"body":"and we'd head up in the bonus room and we played Koosh."},{"startTime":579.26,"endTime":583.04,"body":"And the Koosh balls, if you haven't seen them,"},{"startTime":583.04,"endTime":585.86,"body":"they're basically like full of like loose little rubber"},{"startTime":585.86,"endTime":587.36,"body":"bands."},{"startTime":587.36,"endTime":591.16,"body":"So they're somewhat soft with kind of a harder core."},{"startTime":591.16,"endTime":595.16,"body":"And the goal and objective of Koosh ball was to just pelt"},{"startTime":595.16,"endTime":596.64,"body":"your brother with them."},{"startTime":596.64,"endTime":599.32,"body":"(both laughing)"},{"startTime":599.32,"endTime":603.7,"body":"And I remember as we'd be on either side with somebody"},{"startTime":603.7,"endTime":607.24,"body":"in the middle with a pillow, a couch cushion,"},{"startTime":607.24,"endTime":610.08,"body":"trying to block those balls being pelted at them."},{"startTime":610.08,"endTime":612.54,"body":"And we'd do that for hours, just having fun."},{"startTime":612.54,"endTime":616.38,"body":"- Well, it's almost like, it was like pickle,"},{"startTime":616.38,"endTime":620.32,"body":"some version of pickle that two of us would be on each side"},{"startTime":620.32,"endTime":623.62,"body":"and the poor person in the middle had this pillow"},{"startTime":623.62,"endTime":628.02,"body":"to protect and was continually trying to deflect each of us,"},{"startTime":628.02,"endTime":632.8,"body":"which we're trying to just like pelt him because if we got"},{"startTime":632.8,"endTime":637.38,"body":"him, then he was out and he was, so in some way,"},{"startTime":637.38,"endTime":639.24,"body":"you wouldn't want to be in the middle, but yet you would,"},{"startTime":639.24,"endTime":642.8,"body":"because then you could deflect with the pillow and that"},{"startTime":642.8,"endTime":646.26,"body":"Koosh ball would just whiz by and we would just get smacked"},{"startTime":646.26,"endTime":647.92,"body":"and just, and you'd have to catch it."},{"startTime":647.92,"endTime":650.22,"body":"And we would just, yeah, play for hours,"},{"startTime":650.22,"endTime":652.42,"body":"pelting each other all over the place."},{"startTime":652.42,"endTime":656.96,"body":"- No windows got broken, amazingly up there,"},{"startTime":656.96,"endTime":659.22,"body":"computer monitors didn't get smashed."},{"startTime":659.22,"endTime":661.04,"body":"Although there was just one computer,"},{"startTime":661.04,"endTime":664.9,"body":"but that IBM compatible 386 over in the corner."},{"startTime":664.9,"endTime":668.16,"body":"- Oh, that's great."},{"startTime":668.16,"endTime":670.42,"body":"- So yeah, just trying to get some energy out"},{"startTime":670.42,"endTime":673.82,"body":"and have some fun and we liked being in the middle."},{"startTime":673.82,"endTime":677.06,"body":"Like that's the part you didn't want to get hit."},{"startTime":677.06,"endTime":678.88,"body":"- That was the challenge, yeah."},{"startTime":678.88,"endTime":680.68,"body":"- You're out of being in the middle."},{"startTime":680.68,"endTime":684.76,"body":"- Oh, too good, okay, fun Memory Lane, there you go."},{"startTime":684.76,"endTime":687.04,"body":"Growing up at the Stewart household,"},{"startTime":687.04,"endTime":690.56,"body":"pelting each other with a Koosh ball on a Sunday afternoon."},{"startTime":690.56,"endTime":696.3,"body":"Yes, we'll have to, at some point we need to,"},{"startTime":696.3,"endTime":698.4,"body":"oh, Jared and Brian our other two brothers,"},{"startTime":698.4,"endTime":702.52,"body":"some air time to defend themselves with some of this stuff."},{"startTime":702.52,"endTime":705.3,"body":"Anyway, okay, fun memory lane,"},{"startTime":705.3,"endTime":708.12,"body":"shall we get onto the topic at hand, Peter?"},{"startTime":708.12,"endTime":709.8,"body":"- Sure, let's talk."},{"startTime":709.8,"endTime":714.8,"body":"- So the topic, every leader has four critical relationships"},{"startTime":714.8,"endTime":717.78,"body":"that they need to manage."},{"startTime":717.78,"endTime":722.78,"body":"These relationships are always present in any leader's life."},{"startTime":722.78,"endTime":727.92,"body":"How they approach this, how they customize,"},{"startTime":727.92,"endTime":731.0,"body":"how they adjust to it is so key."},{"startTime":731.0,"endTime":733.04,"body":"So we want to talk about what these four critical"},{"startTime":733.04,"endTime":737.86,"body":"relationships are and the unique challenges,"},{"startTime":737.86,"endTime":740.8,"body":"the unique needs, the language essentially,"},{"startTime":740.8,"endTime":744.48,"body":"as to what each of these relationships speak"},{"startTime":744.48,"endTime":749.48,"body":"and what can go wrong if you don't customize to it."},{"startTime":749.48,"endTime":752.66,"body":"And we can definitely share some examples of leaders"},{"startTime":752.66,"endTime":757.22,"body":"that when you don't focus on the needs of each separately,"},{"startTime":757.22,"endTime":760.86,"body":"things can go bad for you and for them."},{"startTime":760.86,"endTime":763.24,"body":"So you want to take the first one"},{"startTime":763.24,"endTime":765.5,"body":"and I'll dive into the second one, Peter?"},{"startTime":765.5,"endTime":768.76,"body":"- Sure, and I think as you set the stage well"},{"startTime":768.76,"endTime":770.62,"body":"on what these relationships are,"},{"startTime":770.62,"endTime":775.94,"body":"first it's that mindset that not everybody needs"},{"startTime":775.94,"endTime":778.86,"body":"the same thing from you as a leader."},{"startTime":778.86,"endTime":781.4,"body":"And that's why we highlight these relationships."},{"startTime":781.4,"endTime":784.98,"body":"And just real quickly to understand the four"},{"startTime":784.98,"endTime":787.66,"body":"before we dive into them in a little more depth,"},{"startTime":787.66,"endTime":792.06,"body":"you're sitting here and we'll often use this kind of cross"},{"startTime":792.06,"endTime":795.0,"body":"or kind of a compass middle where you're sitting"},{"startTime":795.0,"endTime":798.88,"body":"in the middle and then you have the boss relationship"},{"startTime":798.88,"endTime":801.38,"body":"as kind of the north direction,"},{"startTime":801.38,"endTime":804.5,"body":"your direct reports as the south,"},{"startTime":804.5,"endTime":810.52,"body":"your peers as east and your customers as west."},{"startTime":810.52,"endTime":814.24,"body":"So if you're picturing that, those are in essence"},{"startTime":814.24,"endTime":818.04,"body":"the four critical relationships, your boss,"},{"startTime":818.04,"endTime":823.0,"body":"your direct reports, your peers and your customers."},{"startTime":823.0,"endTime":824.44,"body":"So we can dive into each of those"},{"startTime":824.44,"endTime":827.72,"body":"'cause they all want time with you."},{"startTime":827.72,"endTime":832.76,"body":"They all crave things from you and they have different needs."},{"startTime":832.76,"endTime":836.96,"body":"So here's this visual you can have."},{"startTime":836.96,"endTime":839.8,"body":"And one of these days I'll get a belt like this"},{"startTime":839.8,"endTime":841.2,"body":"or figure out how to do it."},{"startTime":841.2,"endTime":844.16,"body":"I've just used more of a thought example in recent."},{"startTime":844.16,"endTime":848.12,"body":"So let's say we've got you as a listener"},{"startTime":848.12,"endTime":851.94,"body":"and we have you in the middle of a grass field, okay?"},{"startTime":851.94,"endTime":854.26,"body":"And we put a belt on you."},{"startTime":854.26,"endTime":856.64,"body":"Nice thick kind of Velcro belt"},{"startTime":856.64,"endTime":859.96,"body":"that's got four kind of carabiners attached"},{"startTime":859.96,"endTime":862.28,"body":"at kind of north, south, east and west on that belt."},{"startTime":862.28,"endTime":867.28,"body":"And attached to those carabiners are some long bungee cords."},{"startTime":867.28,"endTime":868.68,"body":"Okay, long bungee cords."},{"startTime":868.68,"endTime":869.74,"body":"And so you're sitting in the middle"},{"startTime":869.74,"endTime":871.98,"body":"and each of those bungee cords are now held"},{"startTime":871.98,"endTime":875.42,"body":"by a group of people to your north, south, east and west."},{"startTime":875.42,"endTime":880.62,"body":"And you are starting to move toward one of those groups."},{"startTime":880.62,"endTime":882.8,"body":"You're starting to move,"},{"startTime":882.8,"endTime":885.3,"body":"let's say you're moving in the northern direction"},{"startTime":885.3,"endTime":887.98,"body":"because they need you to come over there."},{"startTime":887.98,"endTime":890.76,"body":"As you move over in that direction,"},{"startTime":890.76,"endTime":895.0,"body":"what are you gonna feel on that belt?"},{"startTime":895.0,"endTime":899.46,"body":"You're gonna feel the pull from those other three."},{"startTime":899.46,"endTime":901.12,"body":"As it slackens up a little bit"},{"startTime":901.12,"endTime":903.76,"body":"in the direction you're going, it's gonna stretch more"},{"startTime":903.76,"endTime":908.5,"body":"and there's gonna be more pressure and more resistance"},{"startTime":908.5,"endTime":910.78,"body":"to wait, wait, wait, come back, we need you."},{"startTime":910.78,"endTime":912.82,"body":"And you're constantly trying to balance that"},{"startTime":912.82,"endTime":915.28,"body":"and move and everywhere you go,"},{"startTime":915.28,"endTime":916.88,"body":"they're expecting more from you."},{"startTime":916.88,"endTime":921.42,"body":"- And as you picture yourself,"},{"startTime":921.42,"endTime":925.4,"body":"if people are trying to figure this visual out,"},{"startTime":925.4,"endTime":928.22,"body":"just having this push and pull."},{"startTime":928.22,"endTime":932.82,"body":"And the interesting thing to me is when leaders deny"},{"startTime":932.82,"endTime":937.82,"body":"or don't acknowledge or don't wanna actually understand"},{"startTime":939.22,"endTime":942.66,"body":"these critical relationships and the fact that all four"},{"startTime":942.66,"endTime":947.66,"body":"of them will continually be pulling off of you,"},{"startTime":947.66,"endTime":951.82,"body":"they have their own demands and you need to figure out ways"},{"startTime":951.82,"endTime":955.28,"body":"to balance paying attention to each."},{"startTime":955.28,"endTime":957.9,"body":"And certain circumstances you may need to pay attention"},{"startTime":957.9,"endTime":959.68,"body":"to one more than the other."},{"startTime":959.68,"endTime":963.02,"body":"But the point is you need to honor and pay attention to"},{"startTime":963.02,"endTime":965.34,"body":"and understand how to best communicate"},{"startTime":965.34,"endTime":967.98,"body":"and build relationships with all four of them."},{"startTime":967.98,"endTime":972.98,"body":"Because when one or more is neglected, inevitably,"},{"startTime":972.98,"endTime":975.18,"body":"that will not help you be successful"},{"startTime":975.18,"endTime":977.62,"body":"because you cannot be successful with them"},{"startTime":977.62,"endTime":981.26,"body":"and they cannot be successful with you,"},{"startTime":981.26,"endTime":983.14,"body":"especially in terms of optimizing."},{"startTime":983.14,"endTime":986.34,"body":"- Yeah, oh, it's so true."},{"startTime":986.34,"endTime":989.18,"body":"So let's start talking about that boss relationship"},{"startTime":989.18,"endTime":992.26,"body":"'cause that's a relationship everybody has."},{"startTime":992.26,"endTime":995.46,"body":"Not everybody may have a direct report relationship."},{"startTime":995.46,"endTime":997.94,"body":"They may not be a people manager at this point"},{"startTime":997.94,"endTime":1001.94,"body":"in their career, but everybody will have a boss,"},{"startTime":1001.94,"endTime":1006.22,"body":"a supervisor, somebody that you are reporting to."},{"startTime":1006.22,"endTime":1010.94,"body":"And even if you're a CEO or a president or whatever,"},{"startTime":1010.94,"endTime":1015.3,"body":"odds are there still is somebody you're reporting to."},{"startTime":1015.3,"endTime":1017.38,"body":"That might be a board of directors."},{"startTime":1017.38,"endTime":1019.84,"body":"It might be other stakeholders."},{"startTime":1019.84,"endTime":1023.98,"body":"It might be a venture capital firm or PE or whatever."},{"startTime":1023.98,"endTime":1025.62,"body":"Usually you have to report to somebody."},{"startTime":1025.62,"endTime":1030.38,"body":"So Daniel, share a little bit about the boss needs."},{"startTime":1030.38,"endTime":1032.62,"body":"What is the boss perspective?"},{"startTime":1032.62,"endTime":1033.66,"body":"- You know, it's interesting."},{"startTime":1033.66,"endTime":1036.06,"body":"When you think what the boss needs,"},{"startTime":1036.06,"endTime":1037.88,"body":"the first thing that comes to your mind,"},{"startTime":1037.88,"endTime":1040.24,"body":"and listeners, what would you say?"},{"startTime":1040.24,"endTime":1041.08,"body":"What would you say?"},{"startTime":1041.08,"endTime":1042.56,"body":"What are the things the boss needs?"},{"startTime":1042.56,"endTime":1044.66,"body":"And we've asked this question"},{"startTime":1044.66,"endTime":1048.06,"body":"to hundreds of different groups over the years."},{"startTime":1048.06,"endTime":1050.82,"body":"And inevitably, quick responses."},{"startTime":1050.82,"endTime":1054.04,"body":"It's the operational, it's the effectiveness,"},{"startTime":1054.04,"endTime":1057.02,"body":"it's the budget, it's the revenue targets,"},{"startTime":1057.02,"endTime":1059.9,"body":"it's the cost savings, it's productivity."},{"startTime":1059.9,"endTime":1063.42,"body":"It's the numbers, numbers, numbers of,"},{"startTime":1063.42,"endTime":1066.46,"body":"it's the blood of the business, so to speak."},{"startTime":1066.46,"endTime":1067.66,"body":"It's the lifeblood."},{"startTime":1067.66,"endTime":1069.9,"body":"It's what enables an organization"},{"startTime":1069.9,"endTime":1072.56,"body":"to continue to function cashflow."},{"startTime":1072.56,"endTime":1074.1,"body":"Are you hitting the numbers?"},{"startTime":1074.1,"endTime":1075.66,"body":"Those are all of the things"},{"startTime":1075.66,"endTime":1078.34,"body":"that we term as business results."},{"startTime":1078.34,"endTime":1082.02,"body":"And what's so fascinating is if you take somebody"},{"startTime":1082.02,"endTime":1084.06,"body":"who has never really been interested"},{"startTime":1084.06,"endTime":1087.26,"body":"or thinking a lot about budget or revenue"},{"startTime":1087.26,"endTime":1089.86,"body":"or cost savings or productivity,"},{"startTime":1089.86,"endTime":1091.74,"body":"and you make them a boss,"},{"startTime":1091.74,"endTime":1095.54,"body":"suddenly they start really caring"},{"startTime":1095.54,"endTime":1098.3,"body":"about how much money we're making"},{"startTime":1098.3,"endTime":1100.98,"body":"or how much we're saving or are we hitting budget"},{"startTime":1100.98,"endTime":1104.66,"body":"or are we on time or these are the things"},{"startTime":1104.66,"endTime":1106.28,"body":"that matter to a boss."},{"startTime":1106.28,"endTime":1108.78,"body":"Now, a boss can care about other things,"},{"startTime":1108.78,"endTime":1111.68,"body":"but this is usually the stuff they care most about"},{"startTime":1111.68,"endTime":1114.42,"body":"or comes first in their mind."},{"startTime":1114.42,"endTime":1118.0,"body":"It's often termed the managerial bias as well."},{"startTime":1118.0,"endTime":1120.86,"body":"And so you can look at the boss perspective."},{"startTime":1120.86,"endTime":1124.52,"body":"These are the things typically a boss cares most about."},{"startTime":1124.52,"endTime":1127.9,"body":"- That's well-described."},{"startTime":1127.9,"endTime":1131.22,"body":"And it's not to say those are the only things"},{"startTime":1131.22,"endTime":1133.8,"body":"they care about, but usually that is what"},{"startTime":1133.8,"endTime":1135.5,"body":"they are being measured on."},{"startTime":1136.48,"endTime":1138.38,"body":"Which is why they care about it"},{"startTime":1138.38,"endTime":1141.52,"body":"and why that gets messaged and communicated"},{"startTime":1141.52,"endTime":1145.24,"body":"down to their people, their teams, their organization"},{"startTime":1145.24,"endTime":1146.08,"body":"to be able to hit those."},{"startTime":1146.08,"endTime":1146.92,"body":"So it's critical."},{"startTime":1146.92,"endTime":1151.88,"body":"So good assessment or explanation of the boss needs."},{"startTime":1151.88,"endTime":1155.78,"body":"Now let's head more on the southern side"},{"startTime":1155.78,"endTime":1158.16,"body":"of those four critical relationships"},{"startTime":1158.16,"endTime":1160.38,"body":"for the direct reports, the team."},{"startTime":1160.38,"endTime":1163.96,"body":"As we think about the needs of our direct reports,"},{"startTime":1163.96,"endTime":1166.32,"body":"what is it that they want?"},{"startTime":1166.32,"endTime":1168.16,"body":"And it is what we would characterize more"},{"startTime":1168.16,"endTime":1170.4,"body":"as the people results."},{"startTime":1170.4,"endTime":1173.72,"body":"They want to be sure that they are developed,"},{"startTime":1173.72,"endTime":1177.28,"body":"that they have the resources and skills needed"},{"startTime":1177.28,"endTime":1180.38,"body":"to be able to do the job that they have to do."},{"startTime":1180.38,"endTime":1182.06,"body":"They wanna be sure that the obstacles"},{"startTime":1182.06,"endTime":1184.24,"body":"are helping being taken care of."},{"startTime":1184.24,"endTime":1187.8,"body":"That they have somebody who they feel is an advocate"},{"startTime":1187.8,"endTime":1191.0,"body":"for them, who's going to help champion for them"},{"startTime":1191.0,"endTime":1193.0,"body":"to look out for their needs,"},{"startTime":1193.0,"endTime":1196.32,"body":"to be able to give them the information they need"},{"startTime":1196.32,"endTime":1198.48,"body":"so they can do their jobs and be successful."},{"startTime":1198.48,"endTime":1203.04,"body":"So it all really revolves around the people side of that"},{"startTime":1203.04,"endTime":1204.66,"body":"so that they can do their job."},{"startTime":1204.66,"endTime":1207.92,"body":"- Yeah, clarifying expectations,"},{"startTime":1207.92,"endTime":1209.76,"body":"helping them know what they can do"},{"startTime":1209.76,"endTime":1211.12,"body":"to be able to be successful,"},{"startTime":1211.12,"endTime":1213.28,"body":"that they can add value each day."},{"startTime":1213.28,"endTime":1217.56,"body":"And it's also clarifying who do I work with"},{"startTime":1217.56,"endTime":1218.7,"body":"and do I like them?"},{"startTime":1218.7,"endTime":1220.28,"body":"Do I enjoy being with them?"},{"startTime":1220.28,"endTime":1221.2,"body":"Do they like me?"},{"startTime":1221.2,"endTime":1222.48,"body":"Do they enjoy being with me?"},{"startTime":1222.48,"endTime":1224.46,"body":"Do I feel like I belong?"},{"startTime":1224.46,"endTime":1226.82,"body":"Do I have the opportunity to showcase"},{"startTime":1226.82,"endTime":1229.88,"body":"the best that I can do each day?"},{"startTime":1229.88,"endTime":1234.04,"body":"And am I followed up and rewarded appropriately?"},{"startTime":1234.04,"endTime":1235.68,"body":"Am I given the feedback?"},{"startTime":1235.68,"endTime":1237.18,"body":"Am I given the direction?"},{"startTime":1237.18,"endTime":1239.08,"body":"So it's the culture, it's the dynamics,"},{"startTime":1239.08,"endTime":1240.24,"body":"it's the personal development,"},{"startTime":1240.24,"endTime":1242.6,"body":"it's the clarification of expectations."},{"startTime":1242.6,"endTime":1245.24,"body":"Yeah, all of these are the people results."},{"startTime":1245.24,"endTime":1249.44,"body":"- And you outlined that really well"},{"startTime":1249.44,"endTime":1250.84,"body":"in terms of the people results"},{"startTime":1250.84,"endTime":1253.76,"body":"and all of these things that they need."},{"startTime":1253.76,"endTime":1256.42,"body":"And we're highlighting this as the relationship"},{"startTime":1256.42,"endTime":1261.42,"body":"of the boss of those individuals,"},{"startTime":1261.42,"endTime":1264.48,"body":"'cause they're your direct reports."},{"startTime":1264.48,"endTime":1267.24,"body":"The influence you have as their direct supervisor"},{"startTime":1267.24,"endTime":1271.38,"body":"to create that environment so that they feel supported."},{"startTime":1271.38,"endTime":1274.32,"body":"They're having that comradery among their colleagues,"},{"startTime":1274.32,"endTime":1277.32,"body":"among their teammates and so forth."},{"startTime":1277.32,"endTime":1280.12,"body":"And there's a lot you can do as a leader"},{"startTime":1280.12,"endTime":1282.78,"body":"to create that atmosphere."},{"startTime":1282.78,"endTime":1286.92,"body":"- So here's a quick activity for folks to do."},{"startTime":1286.92,"endTime":1290.0,"body":"And we will often do this with our coaching clients"},{"startTime":1290.0,"endTime":1291.62,"body":"or in leadership programs."},{"startTime":1291.62,"endTime":1295.28,"body":"We ask folks, we ask leaders to identify"},{"startTime":1295.28,"endTime":1298.08,"body":"what are your business results that you need to achieve"},{"startTime":1298.08,"endTime":1303.92,"body":"and what are your people results that you need to achieve?"},{"startTime":1303.92,"endTime":1306.04,"body":"And it's fascinating because inevitably"},{"startTime":1306.04,"endTime":1310.36,"body":"the list of the business results, fairly clear cut."},{"startTime":1310.36,"endTime":1312.0,"body":"People are like, I know what those are,"},{"startTime":1312.0,"endTime":1316.7,"body":"or let me confirm, but yeah, I have a general idea."},{"startTime":1316.7,"endTime":1321.7,"body":"People results, that sometimes can be met with like, huh?"},{"startTime":1321.7,"endTime":1322.68,"body":"- Yeah."},{"startTime":1322.68,"endTime":1323.78,"body":"- What do you mean?"},{"startTime":1323.78,"endTime":1326.6,"body":"And how do I measure that?"},{"startTime":1326.6,"endTime":1330.32,"body":"And how do I pay, and what does that look like?"},{"startTime":1330.32,"endTime":1332.64,"body":"And so the engagement piece,"},{"startTime":1332.64,"endTime":1335.76,"body":"how are people paying attention"},{"startTime":1335.76,"endTime":1338.48,"body":"and what's the culture and how often are you following?"},{"startTime":1338.48,"endTime":1341.24,"body":"All of these things, but to help a leader,"},{"startTime":1341.24,"endTime":1345.8,"body":"I explicitly identify them, write them down and clarify,"},{"startTime":1345.8,"endTime":1349.6,"body":"how are you paying attention to these two lists?"},{"startTime":1349.6,"endTime":1352.64,"body":"Powerful, because it's not often what we do."},{"startTime":1352.64,"endTime":1355.9,"body":"And what we find is when a leader only pays attention"},{"startTime":1355.9,"endTime":1359.92,"body":"to one of those, they could be lopsided."},{"startTime":1359.92,"endTime":1361.8,"body":"And we can talk more about that"},{"startTime":1361.8,"endTime":1363.32,"body":"after we talk about all four of these,"},{"startTime":1363.32,"endTime":1366.12,"body":"but there can be lopsided leadership"},{"startTime":1366.12,"endTime":1370.12,"body":"as you then favor one over the other"},{"startTime":1370.12,"endTime":1372.88,"body":"and not pay attention as much as well."},{"startTime":1372.88,"endTime":1376.82,"body":"So yes, the boss with business results,"},{"startTime":1376.82,"endTime":1380.42,"body":"the second critical relationship, your direct reports,"},{"startTime":1380.42,"endTime":1383.48,"body":"your team, and they care most about oftentimes"},{"startTime":1383.48,"endTime":1386.98,"body":"the people results, the third critical relationship."},{"startTime":1386.98,"endTime":1390.9,"body":"Peers, peers."},{"startTime":1390.9,"endTime":1393.42,"body":"This is this interesting relationship, folks"},{"startTime":1393.42,"endTime":1397.04,"body":"that you do not report to, they do not report to you."},{"startTime":1397.04,"endTime":1400.38,"body":"They're usually equal to you in the organization."},{"startTime":1400.38,"endTime":1403.4,"body":"And what they care about really matters,"},{"startTime":1403.4,"endTime":1406.86,"body":"but sometimes it's a little harder to discern."},{"startTime":1406.86,"endTime":1409.3,"body":"And oftentimes it's all around,"},{"startTime":1409.3,"endTime":1413.1,"body":"can I count on you and depend on you?"},{"startTime":1413.1,"endTime":1416.26,"body":"Do I know what you're gonna be doing"},{"startTime":1416.26,"endTime":1418.12,"body":"and what you need from me?"},{"startTime":1419.12,"endTime":1421.8,"body":"Can I collaborate effectively?"},{"startTime":1421.8,"endTime":1424.36,"body":"Where are the process handoff points"},{"startTime":1424.36,"endTime":1428.84,"body":"along the value stream ad process?"},{"startTime":1428.84,"endTime":1429.74,"body":"What does this mean?"},{"startTime":1429.74,"endTime":1431.6,"body":"What does this look like?"},{"startTime":1431.6,"endTime":1435.08,"body":"And are you gonna be there consistently?"},{"startTime":1435.08,"endTime":1437.36,"body":"Am I gonna be there consistently?"},{"startTime":1437.36,"endTime":1441.76,"body":"And the other aspect is how are resources,"},{"startTime":1441.76,"endTime":1444.64,"body":"budget, supplies, equipment allocated?"},{"startTime":1445.72,"endTime":1449.88,"body":"What do you get and why, and what do I get and why?"},{"startTime":1449.88,"endTime":1452.44,"body":"And is that rationale understood?"},{"startTime":1452.44,"endTime":1453.98,"body":"Is there a sense of fairness?"},{"startTime":1453.98,"endTime":1457.88,"body":"Is there a sense of equity as we then work together?"},{"startTime":1457.88,"endTime":1460.48,"body":"All of these things we group together"},{"startTime":1460.48,"endTime":1464.76,"body":"under the umbrella of internal focus."},{"startTime":1464.76,"endTime":1467.82,"body":"This is the language of peers."},{"startTime":1467.82,"endTime":1469.3,"body":"It's this internal focus."},{"startTime":1469.3,"endTime":1472.46,"body":"How do I get stuff done while I work"},{"startTime":1472.46,"endTime":1474.2,"body":"and collaborate with you?"},{"startTime":1474.2,"endTime":1475.6,"body":"What can I count on from you?"},{"startTime":1475.6,"endTime":1479.74,"body":"What don't I count on and why should I keep counting on?"},{"startTime":1479.74,"endTime":1480.58,"body":"What's the pattern?"},{"startTime":1480.58,"endTime":1482.52,"body":"What's the experience?"},{"startTime":1482.52,"endTime":1485.38,"body":"This is a critical relationship"},{"startTime":1485.38,"endTime":1487.72,"body":"that sometimes gets neglected,"},{"startTime":1487.72,"endTime":1490.96,"body":"especially in very siloed organizations."},{"startTime":1490.96,"endTime":1495.76,"body":"And this peer relationship can sometimes turn antagonistic"},{"startTime":1495.76,"endTime":1500.6,"body":"and you become more competitors than collaborators as well."},{"startTime":1500.6,"endTime":1504.6,"body":"- And that last point happens all too often"},{"startTime":1504.6,"endTime":1508.12,"body":"of the competition, the vying for the attention,"},{"startTime":1508.12,"endTime":1510.24,"body":"the vying for the spotlight"},{"startTime":1510.24,"endTime":1513.24,"body":"as it turns into not the collaboration"},{"startTime":1513.24,"endTime":1514.64,"body":"or the sharing of resources,"},{"startTime":1514.64,"endTime":1516.76,"body":"but it's the hoarding and the hogging"},{"startTime":1516.76,"endTime":1520.08,"body":"of resources and information."},{"startTime":1520.08,"endTime":1522.0,"body":"That's not then freely shared."},{"startTime":1522.0,"endTime":1524.72,"body":"So much so as you raised up that point of"},{"startTime":1524.72,"endTime":1528.72,"body":"it can often be a neglected side of our relationships."},{"startTime":1528.72,"endTime":1531.08,"body":"We might not spend as much time with them,"},{"startTime":1531.08,"endTime":1533.52,"body":"especially if we're geographically dispersed."},{"startTime":1533.52,"endTime":1536.06,"body":"Maybe there is a weekly staff meeting"},{"startTime":1536.06,"endTime":1538.82,"body":"or a biweekly staff meeting that we attend to."},{"startTime":1538.82,"endTime":1541.2,"body":"But I think it's because of that neglect"},{"startTime":1541.2,"endTime":1544.78,"body":"that individuals like Lencioni will coin a term,"},{"startTime":1544.78,"endTime":1547.36,"body":"Patrick Lencioni, who's five dysfunctions of a team"},{"startTime":1547.36,"endTime":1549.56,"body":"and well-known author on several areas"},{"startTime":1549.56,"endTime":1552.44,"body":"will call this peer group your first team."},{"startTime":1552.44,"endTime":1556.22,"body":"Not that they require all of your attention,"},{"startTime":1556.22,"endTime":1560.78,"body":"but I think it's a reaction to that idea"},{"startTime":1560.78,"endTime":1562.98,"body":"that we often neglect thinking about,"},{"startTime":1562.98,"endTime":1566.58,"body":"oh, what are the needs of my peers?"},{"startTime":1566.58,"endTime":1570.14,"body":"How can I be a good teammate to them?"},{"startTime":1570.14,"endTime":1572.8,"body":"How do I build them, help them, assist them,"},{"startTime":1572.8,"endTime":1575.02,"body":"look for opportunities for collaboration"},{"startTime":1575.02,"endTime":1577.6,"body":"where our goals might intersect"},{"startTime":1577.6,"endTime":1582.08,"body":"so that we can have win-win relationships together."},{"startTime":1582.08,"endTime":1587.14,"body":"- The other aspect is the peer learning,"},{"startTime":1587.14,"endTime":1588.66,"body":"which is often one of those things"},{"startTime":1588.66,"endTime":1591.08,"body":"that's undervalued in organizations"},{"startTime":1591.08,"endTime":1593.4,"body":"to learn from each other, learn from your peers,"},{"startTime":1593.4,"endTime":1596.4,"body":"be vulnerable with them, be able to ask them questions,"},{"startTime":1596.4,"endTime":1599.1,"body":"be able to get some guidance, some wisdom, some advice,"},{"startTime":1599.1,"endTime":1600.78,"body":"some perspective on it."},{"startTime":1600.78,"endTime":1604.76,"body":"This peer learning component is so critical"},{"startTime":1604.76,"endTime":1607.74,"body":"and yet it's free, it's right there."},{"startTime":1607.74,"endTime":1610.52,"body":"To be able to then build effective relationships with peers,"},{"startTime":1610.52,"endTime":1612.44,"body":"to be able to bounce ideas off of,"},{"startTime":1612.44,"endTime":1615.44,"body":"it's one of the things that we consistently strive"},{"startTime":1615.44,"endTime":1618.36,"body":"to build into any leadership programs that we do,"},{"startTime":1618.36,"endTime":1622.9,"body":"especially around peer learning groups or peer coaching,"},{"startTime":1622.9,"endTime":1626.48,"body":"to be able to then help foster that sense of collaboration,"},{"startTime":1626.48,"endTime":1628.44,"body":"cross-functional interaction,"},{"startTime":1628.44,"endTime":1631.28,"body":"and to then help people leverage"},{"startTime":1631.28,"endTime":1632.96,"body":"what can I learn from you"},{"startTime":1632.96,"endTime":1635.44,"body":"and what can you learn from me as well."},{"startTime":1635.44,"endTime":1637.88,"body":"- Daniel, as you're sharing that,"},{"startTime":1637.88,"endTime":1641.66,"body":"I'm reminded of a situation that happened a few years ago"},{"startTime":1641.66,"endTime":1644.94,"body":"where I'd been working with an executive team"},{"startTime":1644.94,"endTime":1646.96,"body":"and they were really struggling"},{"startTime":1646.96,"endTime":1651.36,"body":"building this peer relationship."},{"startTime":1651.36,"endTime":1656.12,"body":"Prior leadership, the prior leader had not really tried"},{"startTime":1656.12,"endTime":1660.44,"body":"to engender and build this relationship of collaboration."},{"startTime":1660.44,"endTime":1663.52,"body":"So I had them do a very simple exercise"},{"startTime":1663.52,"endTime":1666.92,"body":"which turned out to be incredibly powerful for them"},{"startTime":1666.92,"endTime":1670.28,"body":"in which I had them each think about"},{"startTime":1670.28,"endTime":1674.24,"body":"their respective teammates on this team"},{"startTime":1674.24,"endTime":1676.44,"body":"and to ask this one question,"},{"startTime":1676.44,"endTime":1680.76,"body":"what do I need from them over this next quarter"},{"startTime":1680.76,"endTime":1684.04,"body":"in order to accomplish what I need to do?"},{"startTime":1684.04,"endTime":1686.56,"body":"That's all, so they went through,"},{"startTime":1686.56,"endTime":1688.4,"body":"there were seven or eight of them,"},{"startTime":1688.4,"endTime":1690.36,"body":"and they went through and just listed,"},{"startTime":1690.36,"endTime":1693.28,"body":"and every person on that team did that same."},{"startTime":1693.28,"endTime":1695.36,"body":"And then I paired them up"},{"startTime":1695.36,"endTime":1698.68,"body":"so they each had about five minutes with each other,"},{"startTime":1698.68,"endTime":1702.92,"body":"just one-on-one, in which their whole goal was just to share"},{"startTime":1702.92,"endTime":1706.1,"body":"this is what I need from you this next quarter."},{"startTime":1706.82,"endTime":1708.54,"body":"And then the other individual would share"},{"startTime":1708.54,"endTime":1710.7,"body":"what they needed from that person."},{"startTime":1710.7,"endTime":1713.7,"body":"Just that very simple interchange,"},{"startTime":1713.7,"endTime":1718.94,"body":"we had a good couple hour conversation"},{"startTime":1718.94,"endTime":1722.04,"body":"after that short little exercise was over"},{"startTime":1722.04,"endTime":1724.14,"body":"about the impact and the ahas,"},{"startTime":1724.14,"endTime":1727.72,"body":"and I did not realize that that was so important for you."},{"startTime":1727.72,"endTime":1733.42,"body":"- So you reminded me, so several years ago,"},{"startTime":1733.42,"endTime":1736.58,"body":"similar activity with a senior executive team,"},{"startTime":1736.58,"endTime":1739.98,"body":"a large global manufacturing organization,"},{"startTime":1739.98,"endTime":1742.3,"body":"and they were having a similar challenge,"},{"startTime":1742.3,"endTime":1744.26,"body":"a very siloed, and the CEO was like,"},{"startTime":1744.26,"endTime":1747.14,"body":"we need to be able to collaborate more effectively."},{"startTime":1747.14,"endTime":1751.18,"body":"And so as pre-work, I asked each person"},{"startTime":1751.18,"endTime":1753.46,"body":"to identify the two to three areas"},{"startTime":1753.46,"endTime":1755.3,"body":"that they needed to collaborate"},{"startTime":1755.3,"endTime":1759.3,"body":"with each of the other people on the senior team,"},{"startTime":1759.3,"endTime":1763.06,"body":"send it to me ahead of time, and I compiled them,"},{"startTime":1763.06,"endTime":1765.9,"body":"and then brought that to the offsite"},{"startTime":1765.9,"endTime":1768.1,"body":"for us to then dive into."},{"startTime":1768.1,"endTime":1772.86,"body":"And what then happened was we were able to reconcile,"},{"startTime":1772.86,"endTime":1775.44,"body":"and people were like, you need that from me?"},{"startTime":1775.44,"endTime":1776.7,"body":"Really?"},{"startTime":1776.7,"endTime":1777.86,"body":"I didn't realize."},{"startTime":1777.86,"endTime":1779.9,"body":"And others were like, oh, that's exactly it."},{"startTime":1779.9,"endTime":1783.26,"body":"The first two things, the third was, really?"},{"startTime":1783.26,"endTime":1785.82,"body":"Oh, that's good to know, I didn't realize."},{"startTime":1785.82,"endTime":1788.62,"body":"They hadn't shared goals, they hadn't shared so many,"},{"startTime":1788.62,"endTime":1792.14,"body":"and it fostered this sense of collaboration,"},{"startTime":1792.14,"endTime":1794.86,"body":"and it enabled a follow-up mechanism."},{"startTime":1794.86,"endTime":1797.64,"body":"And so we called it the points of collaboration."},{"startTime":1797.64,"endTime":1802.58,"body":"I will also say it helped the CEO truly identify"},{"startTime":1802.58,"endTime":1806.52,"body":"who had a spirit or a desire for collaboration,"},{"startTime":1806.52,"endTime":1807.36,"body":"and who didn't."},{"startTime":1807.36,"endTime":1811.84,"body":"Who simply wanted a transactional interaction,"},{"startTime":1811.84,"endTime":1814.14,"body":"I just get this from you, and then we're done,"},{"startTime":1814.14,"endTime":1817.04,"body":"versus actually, I need to partner"},{"startTime":1817.04,"endTime":1820.54,"body":"and really figure out a solution with you on that."},{"startTime":1820.54,"endTime":1822.98,"body":"Fantastic, fantastic idea."},{"startTime":1822.98,"endTime":1826.86,"body":"Okay, so fourth critical relationship, Peter."},{"startTime":1826.86,"endTime":1829.66,"body":"- The fourth relationship, customers."},{"startTime":1829.66,"endTime":1830.94,"body":"- Yes, customers."},{"startTime":1830.94,"endTime":1833.1,"body":"You wanna dive in, give us a highlight?"},{"startTime":1833.1,"endTime":1835.5,"body":"- Yeah, and often when we say customers,"},{"startTime":1835.5,"endTime":1837.36,"body":"the first question is, well,"},{"startTime":1837.36,"endTime":1839.52,"body":"what customers are we talking about?"},{"startTime":1839.52,"endTime":1841.86,"body":"Internal customers, external customers?"},{"startTime":1841.86,"endTime":1843.46,"body":"And the answer is yes."},{"startTime":1843.46,"endTime":1847.98,"body":"Whatever customers might make sense for you,"},{"startTime":1847.98,"endTime":1848.82,"body":"as we're talking about,"},{"startTime":1848.82,"endTime":1852.54,"body":"'cause you're the one in the middle of this cross"},{"startTime":1852.54,"endTime":1854.42,"body":"of these four relationships."},{"startTime":1854.42,"endTime":1857.72,"body":"So thinking about who are these customer relationships,"},{"startTime":1857.72,"endTime":1860.24,"body":"what is it that they need from you?"},{"startTime":1860.24,"endTime":1861.74,"body":"It's anticipating."},{"startTime":1861.74,"endTime":1865.3,"body":"They want you to be able to solve their problems."},{"startTime":1865.3,"endTime":1867.06,"body":"That's why they're coming to you,"},{"startTime":1867.06,"endTime":1870.86,"body":"or why you are in that customer relationship with them."},{"startTime":1870.86,"endTime":1872.94,"body":"And they want you to be able to solve those problems"},{"startTime":1872.94,"endTime":1875.42,"body":"even before they've realized they've had the problem."},{"startTime":1876.46,"endTime":1879.34,"body":"So it's looking at how do you meet those needs?"},{"startTime":1879.34,"endTime":1882.38,"body":"How do you understand what they need from you?"},{"startTime":1882.38,"endTime":1884.36,"body":"How do you understand their pain points"},{"startTime":1884.36,"endTime":1886.42,"body":"so that you can truly deliver"},{"startTime":1886.42,"endTime":1890.24,"body":"to help facilitate internally"},{"startTime":1890.24,"endTime":1893.36,"body":"so that then they can continue on the next process"},{"startTime":1893.36,"endTime":1895.38,"body":"that they needed that information for?"},{"startTime":1895.38,"endTime":1897.58,"body":"Or if it's an external customer,"},{"startTime":1897.58,"endTime":1901.24,"body":"that they are delighted in whatever solution,"},{"startTime":1901.24,"endTime":1903.6,"body":"product offering that they are having."},{"startTime":1903.6,"endTime":1905.2,"body":"So you're getting in their minds"},{"startTime":1905.2,"endTime":1906.86,"body":"of what is it that they want?"},{"startTime":1906.86,"endTime":1908.58,"body":"How can you solve that and do it?"},{"startTime":1908.58,"endTime":1910.3,"body":"So this is what we're talking about,"},{"startTime":1910.3,"endTime":1914.72,"body":"this external focus or future focuses"},{"startTime":1914.72,"endTime":1915.92,"body":"you're trying to anticipate it."},{"startTime":1915.92,"endTime":1918.24,"body":"So it's that interaction and thought"},{"startTime":1918.24,"endTime":1922.18,"body":"about what our customers really need from us."},{"startTime":1922.18,"endTime":1926.46,"body":"- Yeah, it's clarifying."},{"startTime":1926.46,"endTime":1928.08,"body":"Do you know my needs?"},{"startTime":1928.08,"endTime":1930.88,"body":"And do you know my needs before I do?"},{"startTime":1930.88,"endTime":1931.88,"body":"- Yes."},{"startTime":1931.88,"endTime":1933.16,"body":"- Can you anticipate them?"},{"startTime":1933.16,"endTime":1936.38,"body":"And do you know the choices I have in the marketplace,"},{"startTime":1936.38,"endTime":1940.4,"body":"why I choose you and why I should keep choosing you?"},{"startTime":1940.4,"endTime":1944.6,"body":"What's the value add for each and every interaction?"},{"startTime":1944.6,"endTime":1946.94,"body":"So key for the customer."},{"startTime":1946.94,"endTime":1949.66,"body":"Okay, Peter, so as we have talked"},{"startTime":1949.66,"endTime":1951.64,"body":"about the four critical relationships,"},{"startTime":1951.64,"endTime":1956.64,"body":"boss, direct reports, peer and customers."},{"startTime":1956.64,"endTime":1960.08,"body":"Lightning round here, let me ask you a question."},{"startTime":1960.08,"endTime":1962.66,"body":"(upbeat music)"},{"startTime":1963.66,"endTime":1968.66,"body":"What is one of the biggest traps that can happen"},{"startTime":1968.66,"endTime":1973.7,"body":"if you do not treat each of the four critical relationships"},{"startTime":1973.7,"endTime":1975.66,"body":"in a unique way?"},{"startTime":1975.66,"endTime":1979.8,"body":"- The biggest trap, if you try to just treat them"},{"startTime":1979.8,"endTime":1982.58,"body":"all the same, is you're gonna end up"},{"startTime":1982.58,"endTime":1984.52,"body":"with people frustrated with you."},{"startTime":1984.52,"endTime":1988.34,"body":"And there's going to become interactions"},{"startTime":1988.34,"endTime":1992.58,"body":"in which they're short, they're frustrated,"},{"startTime":1992.58,"endTime":1995.38,"body":"they're complaining because they have"},{"startTime":1995.38,"endTime":1997.66,"body":"fundamentally different needs."},{"startTime":1997.66,"endTime":2001.38,"body":"And you can't interact with them the exact same way."},{"startTime":2001.38,"endTime":2005.14,"body":"As you look at even in your personal lives"},{"startTime":2005.14,"endTime":2009.04,"body":"outside of work, you may have family interactions,"},{"startTime":2009.04,"endTime":2011.1,"body":"you may have friend interactions,"},{"startTime":2011.1,"endTime":2013.72,"body":"you might have little league or school board"},{"startTime":2013.72,"endTime":2014.98,"body":"or whatever interactions."},{"startTime":2014.98,"endTime":2016.54,"body":"Do you treat them all the same?"},{"startTime":2016.54,"endTime":2018.56,"body":"No, why?"},{"startTime":2018.56,"endTime":2021.02,"body":"Because they fundamentally have different needs."},{"startTime":2021.02,"endTime":2024.5,"body":"So that is what it's being intentional"},{"startTime":2024.5,"endTime":2026.52,"body":"so that you're pausing to think,"},{"startTime":2026.52,"endTime":2028.0,"body":"what do they need from me?"},{"startTime":2028.0,"endTime":2031.74,"body":"And asking that one question"},{"startTime":2031.74,"endTime":2034.34,"body":"for each of those four relationships,"},{"startTime":2034.34,"endTime":2036.9,"body":"that sets the table, goes a long way"},{"startTime":2036.9,"endTime":2040.06,"body":"to helping to build those relationships."},{"startTime":2040.06,"endTime":2043.26,"body":"- That's well said."},{"startTime":2043.26,"endTime":2045.58,"body":"- All right, Daniel, question for you then."},{"startTime":2045.58,"endTime":2048.98,"body":"Thinking about these four critical relationships,"},{"startTime":2048.98,"endTime":2050.98,"body":"what should an individual think about"},{"startTime":2050.98,"endTime":2054.34,"body":"if they're not in a management role?"},{"startTime":2054.34,"endTime":2055.84,"body":"If they're an individual contributor"},{"startTime":2055.84,"endTime":2058.5,"body":"and they don't have that direct report,"},{"startTime":2058.5,"endTime":2060.66,"body":"how should they phrase this?"},{"startTime":2060.66,"endTime":2063.54,"body":"Is that part that they just ignore?"},{"startTime":2063.54,"endTime":2066.16,"body":"What advice would you give to somebody there?"},{"startTime":2066.16,"endTime":2067.18,"body":"- Yeah, two things."},{"startTime":2067.18,"endTime":2069.3,"body":"First, in your current role,"},{"startTime":2069.3,"endTime":2071.96,"body":"you then have three critical relationships"},{"startTime":2071.96,"endTime":2073.5,"body":"that you can focus on."},{"startTime":2073.5,"endTime":2077.92,"body":"Your boss, your peers, and your internal external customers."},{"startTime":2077.92,"endTime":2080.66,"body":"Those are the three critical relationships for you."},{"startTime":2080.66,"endTime":2084.1,"body":"And it's for you to invest time in each of them"},{"startTime":2084.1,"endTime":2086.5,"body":"to then begin practicing."},{"startTime":2086.5,"endTime":2090.56,"body":"Practicing not just for now, but for the future."},{"startTime":2090.56,"endTime":2094.7,"body":"How are you gonna continue to invest and get to know them?"},{"startTime":2094.7,"endTime":2096.8,"body":"And then the second way of answering it"},{"startTime":2096.8,"endTime":2099.22,"body":"is to begin to anticipate"},{"startTime":2099.22,"endTime":2101.7,"body":"what your critical relationships will be"},{"startTime":2101.7,"endTime":2104.04,"body":"in your leadership role in the future."},{"startTime":2104.04,"endTime":2109.96,"body":"What practices and habits will you start to even begin now"},{"startTime":2109.96,"endTime":2111.92,"body":"so that you can understand"},{"startTime":2111.92,"endTime":2114.16,"body":"where the other person is coming from?"},{"startTime":2114.16,"endTime":2116.14,"body":"How are you adjusting your behavior"},{"startTime":2116.14,"endTime":2118.36,"body":"to best serve their needs?"},{"startTime":2118.36,"endTime":2121.72,"body":"And asking the other great question,"},{"startTime":2121.72,"endTime":2125.36,"body":"which is what is it like to work with or for me?"},{"startTime":2125.36,"endTime":2130.3,"body":"And being able to have the guts to ask that question"},{"startTime":2130.3,"endTime":2132.56,"body":"and to get feedback."},{"startTime":2132.56,"endTime":2135.2,"body":"Feedback as an individual contributor"},{"startTime":2135.2,"endTime":2138.54,"body":"so that you can then continue to build yourself"},{"startTime":2138.54,"endTime":2142.14,"body":"so that as you get promoted into becoming a leader,"},{"startTime":2142.14,"endTime":2145.96,"body":"you're even further along in the self-awareness journey"},{"startTime":2145.96,"endTime":2150.0,"body":"and in clarifying, defining, and adjusting"},{"startTime":2150.0,"endTime":2152.32,"body":"to then customize your relationship"},{"startTime":2152.32,"endTime":2155.08,"body":"for each of the four critical relationships."},{"startTime":2155.08,"endTime":2158.4,"body":"- Great suggestion."},{"startTime":2158.4,"endTime":2159.72,"body":"And the way you've phrased that"},{"startTime":2159.72,"endTime":2162.18,"body":"of your self-awareness journey."},{"startTime":2162.18,"endTime":2166.52,"body":"That is, as we're again going back to the 70,000 thoughts"},{"startTime":2166.52,"endTime":2168.08,"body":"we have each and every day."},{"startTime":2168.08,"endTime":2169.84,"body":"Giving ourselves a little bit of grace"},{"startTime":2169.84,"endTime":2173.08,"body":"that recognizing we are on a journey."},{"startTime":2173.08,"endTime":2177.1,"body":"We're on a journey to become more aware of ourselves,"},{"startTime":2177.1,"endTime":2181.06,"body":"of our own tendencies, of our own abilities,"},{"startTime":2181.06,"endTime":2184.6,"body":"and awareness of how we impact others."},{"startTime":2184.6,"endTime":2187.36,"body":"And it's being intentional to pause,"},{"startTime":2187.36,"endTime":2190.42,"body":"take a moment and think about these needs."},{"startTime":2190.42,"endTime":2193.66,"body":"And that is gonna set you moving forward on that journey."},{"startTime":2193.66,"endTime":2197.36,"body":"Have really, really positive results from doing that."},{"startTime":2197.36,"endTime":2198.4,"body":"So."},{"startTime":2198.4,"endTime":2200.04,"body":"- Great summation, Peter."},{"startTime":2200.04,"endTime":2202.52,"body":"Thanks for doing another Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":2202.52,"endTime":2204.02,"body":"It's been fun."},{"startTime":2204.02,"endTime":2205.2,"body":"- Always."},{"startTime":2205.2,"endTime":2206.76,"body":"Thank you. - Absolutely."},{"startTime":2206.76,"endTime":2208.9,"body":"Well, listeners, thanks for joining"},{"startTime":2208.9,"endTime":2210.48,"body":"the Leadership Growth Podcast"},{"startTime":2210.48,"endTime":2212.86,"body":"where we dive into timely topics and ideas"},{"startTime":2212.86,"endTime":2216.72,"body":"to help you grow your leadership performance."},{"startTime":2216.72,"endTime":2220.92,"body":"Please subscribe, like, and visit us again."},{"startTime":2220.92,"endTime":2222.92,"body":"We look forward to having you join us again."},{"startTime":2222.92,"endTime":2224.12,"body":"All the best."},{"startTime":2224.12,"endTime":2225.4,"body":"If you liked this episode,"},{"startTime":2225.4,"endTime":2227.36,"body":"please share it with a friend or colleague,"},{"startTime":2227.36,"endTime":2229.52,"body":"or better yet, leave a review"},{"startTime":2229.52,"endTime":2232.08,"body":"to help other listeners find our show."},{"startTime":2232.08,"endTime":2236.08,"body":"And remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode."},{"startTime":2236.08,"endTime":2238.0,"body":"For more great content or to learn about"},{"startTime":2238.0,"endTime":2239.44,"body":"how Stewart Leadership can help you"},{"startTime":2239.44,"endTime":2241.84,"body":"grow your ability to lead effectively,"},{"startTime":2241.84,"endTime":2244.08,"body":"please visit strewleadership.com."}]}