{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.32,"body":"Coming up on the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":3.32,"endTime":11.8,"body":"If I'm coaching somebody and maybe we're talking about some things that their boss has asked them to start to change,"},{"startTime":11.8,"endTime":18.8,"body":"or to adapt or reshape in some way, I may sit back and say, \"Well, how do you feel about it?\""},{"startTime":18.8,"endTime":25.6,"body":"And the person is like, \"I could care less. I mean, I personally, I think it's just bunk.\""},{"startTime":25.6,"endTime":32.4,"body":"\"My boss wants me to change and I might need to change for this promotion, but I don't want to do it.\""},{"startTime":32.4,"endTime":41.8,"body":"And so that's where you want to have a time out and to clarify and get really intentional about what really is motivating you and why."},{"startTime":41.8,"endTime":48.8,"body":"And sometimes you need to dig deep or reframe and to appreciate alternative viewpoints"},{"startTime":48.8,"endTime":55.6,"body":"as you then sit back and say, \"What really is motivating me and do I want to kind of build up that motivation?\""},{"startTime":55.6,"endTime":59.2,"body":"Otherwise, no change will happen."},{"startTime":59.2,"endTime":67.0,"body":"All sorts of awareness and all sorts of desire, but you're not quite sure where and how and it dies."},{"startTime":67.0,"endTime":69.6,"body":"Any potential for change dies there."},{"startTime":78.0,"endTime":83.0,"body":"Hey everyone, welcome to another episode of the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":83.0,"endTime":88.6,"body":"I'm your host Daniel Stewart, joined with me with my brother Peter Stewart."},{"startTime":88.6,"endTime":97.0,"body":"And we're pleased to have you with us as we talk about tools and ideas to help you grow your leadership ability."},{"startTime":97.0,"endTime":103.4,"body":"So today, let's dive in to the first segment, an Insight of the Week."},{"startTime":107.4,"endTime":114.4,"body":"As Peter and I were prepping for this, he shared something fascinating, which kind of boggled my mind a little."},{"startTime":114.4,"endTime":120.4,"body":"I was kind of taken back. Peter, what was the insight that stood out to you this week?"},{"startTime":120.4,"endTime":124.8,"body":"I find it just one of my missions in life, Daniel, to boggle your mind."},{"startTime":124.8,"endTime":128.8,"body":"My mind was boggled. I'm like, \"What?\""},{"startTime":128.8,"endTime":133.2,"body":"So anyway, share this, not to build it up too much, but please, yes."},{"startTime":133.2,"endTime":146.8,"body":"Yeah, so there was a Gallup poll that found that 15%, one five, 15% of people are not called by their preferred name at work."},{"startTime":146.8,"endTime":153.6,"body":"And when I first heard this, I thought, \"Huh? Like, what does that really mean?\""},{"startTime":153.6,"endTime":162.4,"body":"Because I wasn't a math major, but I quickly then figured out that means 85% of people are, which is, you know, a pretty good percentage."},{"startTime":162.4,"endTime":171.8,"body":"But then I realized, wow, for 15% of people at work, their name might be Andrew, and everybody's calling them Andy."},{"startTime":171.8,"endTime":175.8,"body":"And they hate Andy, or whatever that might be."},{"startTime":175.8,"endTime":180.8,"body":"So yeah, 15%. Mind boggling."},{"startTime":180.8,"endTime":183.8,"body":"Yeah, when you said that, I'm like, \"Really?\""},{"startTime":183.8,"endTime":186.8,"body":"And my heart goes out to these 15%."},{"startTime":186.8,"endTime":191.4,"body":"You're like, \"Are they just, you know, suffering in silence?\""},{"startTime":191.4,"endTime":197.4,"body":"And they're like, every time somebody calls them something, they're like, \"That's not really my name.\""},{"startTime":197.4,"endTime":206.8,"body":"Or the classic challenge, when there are like two Jeffs in the group, and suddenly one's called Jeff, and the other one's called Jeffrey,"},{"startTime":206.8,"endTime":210.8,"body":"or, you know, something like that, and you're just given a nickname."},{"startTime":210.8,"endTime":215.8,"body":"So, Peter, it makes me think, am I calling you the right name?"},{"startTime":215.8,"endTime":220.4,"body":"Sorry, I don't mean to jest here, but anyway."},{"startTime":220.4,"endTime":225.4,"body":"Well, I don't know, it depends. Whatever you want to call me, Dan. You know, it's okay."},{"startTime":225.4,"endTime":228.4,"body":"Oh, no, see that."},{"startTime":228.4,"endTime":230.4,"body":"So that's a good point."},{"startTime":230.4,"endTime":234.4,"body":"So people who really know me, I like Daniel."},{"startTime":234.4,"endTime":239.4,"body":"That's my full name. I like Daniel. Dan, Danny, no."},{"startTime":239.4,"endTime":241.4,"body":"I like Daniel."},{"startTime":241.4,"endTime":246.4,"body":"And, you know, there are people who are well-meaning, and they will say Dan."},{"startTime":246.4,"endTime":252.4,"body":"And it's often from a place of familiarity, and they, you know, goodwill, and I get it."},{"startTime":252.4,"endTime":256.4,"body":"And I'll just very politely, \"Hey, please call me Daniel.\""},{"startTime":256.4,"endTime":262.4,"body":"And so maybe that's an example, because I've been called Dan at times in the workplace."},{"startTime":262.4,"endTime":266.4,"body":"And I'll just kind of remind people, \"Hey, would like to be called Daniel.\""},{"startTime":266.4,"endTime":271.4,"body":"So there you go. I guess I've been a 15 percenter sometimes."},{"startTime":271.4,"endTime":276.4,"body":"And same, like I'm Peter. There are a few people who have tried to call me Pete."},{"startTime":276.4,"endTime":279.4,"body":"I've never been Pete in my entire life."},{"startTime":279.4,"endTime":283.4,"body":"There was one guy in high school, a good buddy, who called me Petey."},{"startTime":283.4,"endTime":291.4,"body":"But he was also like 6'6\" and 250 pounds and, you know, played line on University of Oregon Rose Bowl football team."},{"startTime":291.4,"endTime":295.4,"body":"You know, great guy, and I was fine with him calling me Petey."},{"startTime":295.4,"endTime":301.4,"body":"But yeah, so you think about the situation. You're new to an organization. You're new to a team."},{"startTime":301.4,"endTime":305.4,"body":"And people start calling you something, and it sticks."},{"startTime":305.4,"endTime":313.4,"body":"And maybe you've been with that team now for a few years, and everybody's calling you Dan or Pete or whatever it might be."},{"startTime":313.4,"endTime":317.4,"body":"And now it just feels weird to try and correct them."},{"startTime":317.4,"endTime":323.4,"body":"Well, as a leader, as you're hearing this, you can go to your team on the next call and say,"},{"startTime":323.4,"endTime":331.4,"body":"\"Hey, I just heard this really mind-boggling fact. 15 percent of people in the workforce are not called by their preferred names.\""},{"startTime":331.4,"endTime":341.4,"body":"Is there anybody here on this team who might be called something that they would rather be called something else?"},{"startTime":341.4,"endTime":348.4,"body":"Yeah, and whether it's done in a group setting or one-on-one, it is a, on a serious note,"},{"startTime":348.4,"endTime":353.4,"body":"that is a very appropriate thing to be able to then ask."},{"startTime":353.4,"endTime":359.4,"body":"Because years ago, I heard, \"What is the most beautiful thing that anybody can hear?\""},{"startTime":359.4,"endTime":368.4,"body":"And it's the sound of their name in terms of they are being recognized by who they are, how they want to be called."},{"startTime":368.4,"endTime":374.4,"body":"And that's a powerful thing that leaders and managers need to have with great clarity,"},{"startTime":374.4,"endTime":382.4,"body":"knowing who that person is, and so much of that is represented with the name that they prefer to be called."},{"startTime":382.4,"endTime":387.4,"body":"That's a powerful thing. So all joking aside, that is, that's a powerful thing."},{"startTime":387.4,"endTime":393.4,"body":"And to be able to confirm that, to pronounce it correctly, to be able to address it properly,"},{"startTime":393.4,"endTime":397.4,"body":"it then helps recognize and build that sense report."},{"startTime":397.4,"endTime":402.4,"body":"You know, there's so many conversations on how to remember people's names,"},{"startTime":402.4,"endTime":406.4,"body":"so many tips and techniques. This name is significant."},{"startTime":406.4,"endTime":413.4,"body":"So that's a great point. And for leaders and managers to kind of take a moment and confirm,"},{"startTime":413.4,"endTime":418.4,"body":"\"Am I calling the person the name that they want to be called?\""},{"startTime":418.4,"endTime":419.4,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":419.4,"endTime":420.4,"body":"Fantastic point."},{"startTime":420.4,"endTime":426.4,"body":"Yeah, and as you're saying that, and are we pronouncing it correctly, especially as teams are more diverse,"},{"startTime":426.4,"endTime":433.4,"body":"as you're trying to be much more sensitive to that, you want to be able to say it the best way"},{"startTime":433.4,"endTime":437.4,"body":"and proper way that they prefer, that they're most comfortable with."},{"startTime":437.4,"endTime":438.4,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":438.4,"endTime":439.4,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":439.4,"endTime":440.4,"body":"Great point."},{"startTime":440.4,"endTime":447.4,"body":"So that's a little insight. So as we now shift, Daniel, to Memory Lane segment,"},{"startTime":447.4,"endTime":455.4,"body":"I have two words for you. Two words, and let's see what memory this might trigger."},{"startTime":455.4,"endTime":459.4,"body":"[Music]"},{"startTime":459.4,"endTime":464.4,"body":"The words are plotter pens. Plotter pens."},{"startTime":464.4,"endTime":465.4,"body":"Plotter."},{"startTime":465.4,"endTime":467.4,"body":"[Laughter]"},{"startTime":467.4,"endTime":473.4,"body":"So for all the listeners, what Peter just said, plotter pen, you may be like,"},{"startTime":473.4,"endTime":479.4,"body":"\"What in the world does that even mean?\" For Peter and I, we have a distinct memory."},{"startTime":479.4,"endTime":487.4,"body":"So it is sitting down as a kid, watching this plotter, this plotter device."},{"startTime":487.4,"endTime":493.4,"body":"It was an early version of a printer, and it had three or four distinct small little pens,"},{"startTime":493.4,"endTime":500.4,"body":"and each a distinct color. And we would then insert a piece of paper."},{"startTime":500.4,"endTime":507.4,"body":"The plotter pens would then draw a beautiful graph on it, and then we'd put in a new piece of paper."},{"startTime":507.4,"endTime":513.4,"body":"And this is how we would then print out all of the 360-degree reports"},{"startTime":513.4,"endTime":516.4,"body":"or other assessment reports for various clients."},{"startTime":516.4,"endTime":524.4,"body":"This was back '80s, '90s, before laser printing became really--and especially laser--color laser printing."},{"startTime":524.4,"endTime":532.4,"body":"And we knew that we had to then watch the quality of those plotter pens with like an eagle eye,"},{"startTime":532.4,"endTime":538.4,"body":"because as soon as those plotter pens started to get a little dull or get a little smashed,"},{"startTime":538.4,"endTime":544.4,"body":"then they weren't precise. And we had to stop and swap out for a new plotter pen"},{"startTime":544.4,"endTime":553.4,"body":"so that every graph was exact and accurate and really sharp and clearly defined with the colors."},{"startTime":553.4,"endTime":557.4,"body":"Yeah. And it was fun watching the mechanism."},{"startTime":557.4,"endTime":563.4,"body":"I mean, the most analogous thing, I think, in today's world is watching a 3D printer."},{"startTime":563.4,"endTime":566.4,"body":"You know, go around it and build something with those lines."},{"startTime":566.4,"endTime":573.4,"body":"And because it's the single pen that would have this little carousel off to the side,"},{"startTime":573.4,"endTime":577.4,"body":"and the little arm would grab one of the colored pens, and it would draw,"},{"startTime":577.4,"endTime":580.4,"body":"and it would stay in place while the paper moved underneath it."},{"startTime":580.4,"endTime":586.4,"body":"So it was really just a vertical movement of it, and then when it needed a new color,"},{"startTime":586.4,"endTime":591.4,"body":"it would go back to the carousel, pick up the new one, watching it create all these graphs."},{"startTime":591.4,"endTime":596.4,"body":"And so that was just a fun memory of thinking about the 360 assessments,"},{"startTime":596.4,"endTime":606.4,"body":"thinking about that old piece of technology that just, wow, blast from three decades plus ago,"},{"startTime":606.4,"endTime":613.4,"body":"thinking about that and connected to, what was it, an IBM-compatible 386 computer,"},{"startTime":613.4,"endTime":616.4,"body":"which was like, oh, state-of-the-art, brand-new."},{"startTime":616.4,"endTime":620.4,"body":"And it would take forever to print out those reports."},{"startTime":620.4,"endTime":629.4,"body":"But anyway, plotter. If you haven't seen a plotter, maybe we can find some clip of what a plotter looks like."},{"startTime":629.4,"endTime":634.4,"body":"People can Google plotter. I think it was even HP that made it."},{"startTime":634.4,"endTime":636.4,"body":"I think so."},{"startTime":636.4,"endTime":642.4,"body":"But yeah, what stood out to me was the level of quality that we always needed to maintain."},{"startTime":642.4,"endTime":649.4,"body":"For every single graph and chart that was printed, for any sort of assessment, high levels of quality."},{"startTime":649.4,"endTime":653.4,"body":"And we would then need to redo it if it was not that high level."},{"startTime":653.4,"endTime":659.4,"body":"So anyway, that was deeply ingrained, but I have the memory of the \"eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh,\""},{"startTime":659.4,"endTime":663.4,"body":"all of the mechanical sounds."},{"startTime":663.4,"endTime":665.4,"body":"We should have you do that sound again."},{"startTime":665.4,"endTime":668.4,"body":"You did the impersonation of the plotter sound very well."},{"startTime":668.4,"endTime":674.4,"body":"Because there was this very much mechanical grinding that would shift over."},{"startTime":674.4,"endTime":676.4,"body":"So fun to think about."},{"startTime":676.4,"endTime":679.4,"body":"I bet we could find one on eBay."},{"startTime":679.4,"endTime":681.4,"body":"Oh, I'm confident."},{"startTime":681.4,"endTime":682.4,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":682.4,"endTime":687.4,"body":"I don't know why we would want to find it, but I bet you we could find it."},{"startTime":687.4,"endTime":690.4,"body":"The harder part is probably finding the pens."},{"startTime":690.4,"endTime":695.4,"body":"We could get the actual plotter, but to find pens where the ink is still functioning."},{"startTime":695.4,"endTime":699.4,"body":"Because there were like little mini felt tip pens."},{"startTime":699.4,"endTime":707.4,"body":"And so the ink would run out and the felt tip kind of head would get less precise as it got used."},{"startTime":707.4,"endTime":711.4,"body":"So anyway, that's a little memory lane."},{"startTime":711.4,"endTime":715.4,"body":"And I think this is the point where listeners might be like, \"That's interesting."},{"startTime":715.4,"endTime":718.4,"body":"Okay, get out of there. Get out of there.\""},{"startTime":718.4,"endTime":720.4,"body":"We're done with plotter pens."},{"startTime":720.4,"endTime":723.4,"body":"We're done with plotter pens. That's all good."},{"startTime":723.4,"endTime":726.4,"body":"So on to the topic at hand."},{"startTime":726.4,"endTime":731.4,"body":"Today, the Five Steps of Personal Change."},{"startTime":731.4,"endTime":738.4,"body":"And what we find is these five steps are so consistently needed."},{"startTime":738.4,"endTime":742.4,"body":"And there is a correct sequence in applying it."},{"startTime":742.4,"endTime":751.4,"body":"And any time you want to make personal change in habits or behaviors, you need to follow these five steps."},{"startTime":751.4,"endTime":760.4,"body":"And if you are not successful in making personal change, inevitably one or more of these steps was not done well enough."},{"startTime":760.4,"endTime":764.4,"body":"And so we're going to go through these five steps."},{"startTime":764.4,"endTime":774.4,"body":"Listeners, as you're thinking through this, I want you to begin imagining something that you might want to shift, change, reshape in some way."},{"startTime":774.4,"endTime":780.4,"body":"Maybe it's a habit. Maybe it's a behavior that you're thinking, \"Ah, what might I do differently in the future?\""},{"startTime":780.4,"endTime":787.4,"body":"And begin to think about how you might apply these five steps because they're critical."},{"startTime":787.4,"endTime":793.4,"body":"And we've seen the success of this consistently over decades."},{"startTime":793.4,"endTime":801.4,"body":"And we continue to use this to this day for personal development as well as applying to larger scale leadership development,"},{"startTime":801.4,"endTime":808.4,"body":"organization development efforts to be able to help change behavior and to sustain it as well."},{"startTime":808.4,"endTime":817.4,"body":"And that last part of sustained change, and often as Dad will share this, he'll label it the Five Steps of Sustained Change."},{"startTime":817.4,"endTime":821.4,"body":"Because it helps change stick. It really helps alter those behaviors."},{"startTime":821.4,"endTime":832.4,"body":"Whether we're talking in a personal situation of a skill we're trying to build at home or change something in our personal life or in the professional setting, they're very much applicable."},{"startTime":832.4,"endTime":842.4,"body":"I found myself teaching these when I had therapy clients back in the clinic, talking about these steps of change because they're just foundational."},{"startTime":842.4,"endTime":852.4,"body":"And they're very basic as you sit and we review them. It's like there's nothing rocket science about it, but oh, they're powerful as you think about them."},{"startTime":852.4,"endTime":856.4,"body":"So here are the five steps. Five steps to change."},{"startTime":856.4,"endTime":863.4,"body":"First is awareness. You have to be aware that there's something that needs to change."},{"startTime":863.4,"endTime":869.4,"body":"Second is desire. There has to be some sort of desire to do something with it."},{"startTime":869.4,"endTime":878.4,"body":"And third are skills and resources. You have to have access to the skills and resources necessary to make the change."},{"startTime":878.4,"endTime":882.4,"body":"And fourth is action. You have to put it into action."},{"startTime":882.4,"endTime":887.4,"body":"So it's awareness, desire, skill resources, and action."},{"startTime":887.4,"endTime":892.4,"body":"So there we have the five steps of change."},{"startTime":892.4,"endTime":898.4,"body":"But Peter, you just gave four steps. Where's the fifth one?"},{"startTime":898.4,"endTime":904.4,"body":"Well, there's three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't."},{"startTime":904.4,"endTime":906.4,"body":"Oh my gosh. You really said that."},{"startTime":906.4,"endTime":908.4,"body":"I did. I just felt that."},{"startTime":908.4,"endTime":909.4,"body":"Okay. Thank you."},{"startTime":909.4,"endTime":914.4,"body":"So it's intentional to get you thinking because it's the fifth step that usually we forget."},{"startTime":914.4,"endTime":917.4,"body":"And it's that fifth step of support."},{"startTime":917.4,"endTime":924.4,"body":"We usually hit that wall after we put things into action and the support is what really helps this all be lasting."},{"startTime":924.4,"endTime":926.4,"body":"So those are the five steps."},{"startTime":926.4,"endTime":932.4,"body":"Awareness, desire, skills and resources, action, and support."},{"startTime":932.4,"endTime":936.4,"body":"So let's dissect these a little bit more."},{"startTime":936.4,"endTime":944.4,"body":"Love it. And you know, one way of illustrating this is to use something that a lot of us can relate to."},{"startTime":944.4,"endTime":948.4,"body":"And it's a weight loss or fitness example."},{"startTime":948.4,"endTime":953.4,"body":"And so if we use this as kind of an example to illustrate these five steps."},{"startTime":953.4,"endTime":961.4,"body":"So as we start off with the awareness piece, you may wake up and you're putting on a pair of pants and they're a little tighter."},{"startTime":961.4,"endTime":963.4,"body":"Awareness."},{"startTime":963.4,"endTime":971.4,"body":"Or you might be going up and up the stairs and you get a little out of breath and you're like, ah, awareness."},{"startTime":971.4,"endTime":980.4,"body":"Any of these pieces of information that kind of help you recognize something is different than your expectations."},{"startTime":980.4,"endTime":985.4,"body":"And you think, oh, okay, maybe I'm not as fit as I would like to be."},{"startTime":985.4,"endTime":989.4,"body":"Maybe I'm not at the current shape that I would like to be in."},{"startTime":989.4,"endTime":993.4,"body":"Alright. And you can have all sorts of awareness building."},{"startTime":993.4,"endTime":998.4,"body":"And yet it's lovely to increase awareness."},{"startTime":998.4,"endTime":1000.4,"body":"And you can read all sorts of articles."},{"startTime":1000.4,"endTime":1007.4,"body":"You could watch documentaries and you can get all sorts of awareness around what am I learning?"},{"startTime":1007.4,"endTime":1010.4,"body":"What am I, how am I comparing myself to this?"},{"startTime":1010.4,"endTime":1012.4,"body":"All right. Lovely."},{"startTime":1012.4,"endTime":1019.4,"body":"However, no change is going to exist unless you go to the next step."},{"startTime":1019.4,"endTime":1022.4,"body":"And that next step is critical."},{"startTime":1022.4,"endTime":1026.4,"body":"Otherwise, as I mentioned, you can just keep learning all sorts of stuff."},{"startTime":1026.4,"endTime":1029.4,"body":"And this next step is the desire."},{"startTime":1029.4,"endTime":1031.4,"body":"How bad do you want it?"},{"startTime":1031.4,"endTime":1033.4,"body":"What's the motivator?"},{"startTime":1033.4,"endTime":1035.4,"body":"Peter, keep taking it from there."},{"startTime":1035.4,"endTime":1039.4,"body":"Yeah, you have to want to do something with the information."},{"startTime":1039.4,"endTime":1044.4,"body":"Maybe you're in the doctor's office and you have high blood pressure and you need to change something about your habit."},{"startTime":1044.4,"endTime":1046.4,"body":"You've been given that information."},{"startTime":1046.4,"endTime":1049.4,"body":"But what are we going to do with it?"},{"startTime":1049.4,"endTime":1064.4,"body":"Is there some desire on an individual's part to change, to implement it, to alter a lifestyle, to alter a habit, to alter behavior, to put forth the effort required to make that adjustment?"},{"startTime":1064.4,"endTime":1067.4,"body":"That's where there is the desire."},{"startTime":1067.4,"endTime":1069.4,"body":"So that part is key."},{"startTime":1069.4,"endTime":1076.4,"body":"And it's actually one of the harder parts, well, virtually impossible, to do for somebody else."},{"startTime":1076.4,"endTime":1081.4,"body":"You can't make them desire to do it."},{"startTime":1081.4,"endTime":1082.4,"body":"That's a good point."},{"startTime":1082.4,"endTime":1089.4,"body":"And to build on that, what we find is that there are two kinds of types of desire or motivation."},{"startTime":1089.4,"endTime":1095.4,"body":"The first, and that's the one that you're really talking about the most, is the internal motivation."},{"startTime":1095.4,"endTime":1102.4,"body":"It's internally focused and you want it bad for yourself."},{"startTime":1102.4,"endTime":1106.4,"body":"And you've reached that point where you're like, \"I am going to do this.\""},{"startTime":1106.4,"endTime":1109.4,"body":"And it's that internal drive."},{"startTime":1109.4,"endTime":1112.4,"body":"That, we find, is the most effective."},{"startTime":1112.4,"endTime":1119.4,"body":"Although there is a second, and that is the external factor or the external motivator."},{"startTime":1119.0,"endTime":1127.0,"body":"And that can be due to a policy or a process or an environment or through peer pressure"},{"startTime":1127.0,"endTime":1135.0,"body":"or some sort of cultural norm that you look at and it influences you and you then recognize,"},{"startTime":1135.0,"endTime":1142.0,"body":"okay, whether you want to do it or not, you have this outside pressure."},{"startTime":1142.0,"endTime":1148.0,"body":"And that can be a powerful force to then build up your motivation for sure."},{"startTime":1148.0,"endTime":1156.0,"body":"And then move you forward so that you can begin to want to do something with the awareness piece."},{"startTime":1156.4,"endTime":1163.4,"body":"But I tell you, it's really important to then assess what is my motivation here."},{"startTime":1163.4,"endTime":1167.4,"body":"Because, you know, Peter, I'm sure you can have lots of examples."},{"startTime":1167.0,"endTime":1173.0,"body":"If I'm coaching somebody and maybe we're talking about some things that their boss"},{"startTime":1173.0,"endTime":1180.0,"body":"has asked them to start to change or to adapt or reshape in some way, I may sit back and say,"},{"startTime":1180.0,"endTime":1182.0,"body":"\"Well, how do you feel about it?\""},{"startTime":1182.4,"endTime":1189.4,"body":"And the person is like, \"I could care less. I mean, I personally, I think it's just bunk."},{"startTime":1189.4,"endTime":1194.4,"body":"My boss wants me to change and I might need to change for this promotion."},{"startTime":1194.4,"endTime":1196.4,"body":"But I don't want to do it.\""},{"startTime":1196.0,"endTime":1202.0,"body":"And so that's where you want to have a time out and to clarify and get really intentional"},{"startTime":1201.0,"endTime":1206.0,"body":"about what really is motivating you and why."},{"startTime":1205.0,"endTime":1211.0,"body":"And sometimes you need to dig deep or reframe and to appreciate alternative viewpoints"},{"startTime":1211.0,"endTime":1215.0,"body":"as you then sit back and say, \"What really is motivating me"},{"startTime":1215.0,"endTime":1219.0,"body":"and do I want to kind of build up that motivation?\""},{"startTime":1219.4,"endTime":1222.4,"body":"Otherwise, no change will happen."},{"startTime":1222.4,"endTime":1230.4,"body":"All sorts of awareness and all sorts of desire, but you're not quite sure where and how... it dies."},{"startTime":1230.4,"endTime":1233.4,"body":"Any potential for change dies there."},{"startTime":1233.4,"endTime":1241.4,"body":"And that's where I'd really add on the external motivators for desire are sparks for change."},{"startTime":1241.4,"endTime":1248.4,"body":"They're the spark to initiate change, but they are not going to provide sustained change."},{"startTime":1248.4,"endTime":1253.4,"body":"Unless that external motivator is internalized."},{"startTime":1253.4,"endTime":1262.4,"body":"It is transition from something outside of you to something that you now have a desire to do, that you want to do."},{"startTime":1262.0,"endTime":1267.0,"body":"So it's having as you were having that situation of a coaching conversation of,"},{"startTime":1267.0,"endTime":1273.0,"body":"\"Well, my boss just told me to do this and well, I don't want to do anything about it.\""},{"startTime":1273.0,"endTime":1279.0,"body":"It's like, \"Okay, well, let's talk about this further. How can we use this to help identify"},{"startTime":1279.0,"endTime":1284.0,"body":"something that you do care about to then build from?\""},{"startTime":1284.0,"endTime":1290.0,"body":"We can do a whole session on desire and there's a whole line of intervention"},{"startTime":1290.0,"endTime":1296.0,"body":"of questioning in the psychology realm called motivational interviewing."},{"startTime":1296.4,"endTime":1305.4,"body":"And it's this notion of how you help individuals progress through those stages of motivation by asking questions,"},{"startTime":1305.4,"endTime":1312.4,"body":"by helping posture different outcomes next to each other and help them understand that."},{"startTime":1312.4,"endTime":1314.4,"body":"But it's a long process."},{"startTime":1314.4,"endTime":1324.4,"body":"And it's one of the few things that actually has research evidence behind it to improve somebody's motivation."},{"startTime":1324.4,"endTime":1330.4,"body":"That's awesome. You reminded me a recent executive VP I've been coaching."},{"startTime":1330.0,"endTime":1337.0,"body":"I have a lot of respect for her because when she first came, when we first started the coaching,"},{"startTime":1337.0,"endTime":1342.0,"body":"the goal was to help her soften her approach."},{"startTime":1342.4,"endTime":1349.4,"body":"Because she had not developed very strong relationships with her peers in particular."},{"startTime":1349.4,"endTime":1353.4,"body":"Kind of an abrasive viewpoint at that point."},{"startTime":1353.4,"endTime":1356.4,"body":"So her style was not inviting."},{"startTime":1356.4,"endTime":1361.4,"body":"Correct. Correct. Very task, very direct, very to the point."},{"startTime":1361.4,"endTime":1365.4,"body":"And it just didn't fit well with others."},{"startTime":1365.0,"endTime":1371.0,"body":"And what I really appreciated what she did was she was willing to be open"},{"startTime":1371.0,"endTime":1377.0,"body":"and to look to see what was she motivated to then begin to reshape and why."},{"startTime":1377.4,"endTime":1384.4,"body":"And we really did not dive in or start making progress until it was really internalized."},{"startTime":1384.4,"endTime":1387.4,"body":"So I love that spark."},{"startTime":1387.0,"endTime":1393.0,"body":"And then once it became an internalized thing and she saw the need for the business"},{"startTime":1393.0,"endTime":1399.0,"body":"and people results to be able to be reshaped or rather her behavior to be reshaped to accomplish"},{"startTime":1399.0,"endTime":1402.0,"body":"the business people results that she needed to do."},{"startTime":1402.4,"endTime":1406.4,"body":"Then, then we were able to start making some some headway."},{"startTime":1406.4,"endTime":1414.4,"body":"So anyway, so awareness, desire, and then sometimes people say, great, move into action."},{"startTime":1414.4,"endTime":1416.4,"body":"And we say, hold on."},{"startTime":1416.4,"endTime":1420.4,"body":"The third step is actually skills and resources."},{"startTime":1420.4,"endTime":1423.4,"body":"What do you then need to do?"},{"startTime":1423.4,"endTime":1425.4,"body":"How do you build the muscle?"},{"startTime":1425.4,"endTime":1431.4,"body":"How do you get the supplies, the equipment, be able to do something about it?"},{"startTime":1431.4,"endTime":1436.4,"body":"Or even the knowledge of how to do something about it for those skills?"},{"startTime":1436.4,"endTime":1438.4,"body":"Are you, do you have those internally?"},{"startTime":1438.0,"endTime":1441.0,"body":"Do you have that skill set or is this something you're now"},{"startTime":1441.0,"endTime":1444.0,"body":"needing to learn to educate yourself on to do?"},{"startTime":1444.0,"endTime":1449.0,"body":"And it's looking at both the skills very much as the internal attributes,"},{"startTime":1449.0,"endTime":1453.0,"body":"characteristics, talents that are inside some of somebody."},{"startTime":1453.4,"endTime":1460.4,"body":"And the resources are the access to things outside of them that would help enable that change to happen."},{"startTime":1460.4,"endTime":1463.4,"body":"So it's looking at it from both, both perspectives."},{"startTime":1463.4,"endTime":1472.4,"body":"And it's also, I think, worth noting that we're not putting that phrase of new in front of skills and resources."},{"startTime":1472.4,"endTime":1479.4,"body":"We get a little fixated and focused on what's the latest and greatest, you know, what is, what is the next craze?"},{"startTime":1479.4,"endTime":1484.4,"body":"What is this, this new shiny object that's going to fix everything?"},{"startTime":1484.4,"endTime":1489.4,"body":"More often than not, it's not some new fangled thing."},{"startTime":1489.4,"endTime":1494.4,"body":"It's tried and true efforts, skills, things that have been around,"},{"startTime":1494.4,"endTime":1502.4,"body":"but we just need to remind ourselves of their function, of their use, or learn how to leverage them better."},{"startTime":1502.4,"endTime":1504.4,"body":"Yeah, that's a good point."},{"startTime":1504.4,"endTime":1507.4,"body":"You know, I was remembering several years ago."},{"startTime":1507.0,"endTime":1513.0,"body":"So you and I both travel so much as we work with clients of different leadership,"},{"startTime":1513.0,"endTime":1518.0,"body":"teaming, work, or consulting engagements all over the country."},{"startTime":1518.4,"endTime":1524.4,"body":"You know, I'd put on a few pounds as, as traveling, eating, you know, out so much."},{"startTime":1524.4,"endTime":1528.4,"body":"And I remember thinking, okay, maybe I need to shift this out."},{"startTime":1528.4,"endTime":1537.4,"body":"And, and I, I distinctly remember I was in Maryland and I, I ordered crab's egg Benedict for breakfast."},{"startTime":1537.4,"endTime":1538.4,"body":"That sounds good."},{"startTime":1538.4,"endTime":1540.4,"body":"Oh, it was delicious."},{"startTime":1540.4,"endTime":1545.4,"body":"I mean, the, the hollandaise sauce on it and the, and the crab, it was great."},{"startTime":1545.0,"endTime":1551.0,"body":"And as I'm chewing on this delicious breakfast and I thought, you know what,"},{"startTime":1551.0,"endTime":1555.0,"body":"I wonder how many calories is in this specific breakfast."},{"startTime":1555.4,"endTime":1563.4,"body":"And so I looked it up and Peter, can you guess how many calories are in eggs Benedict crab eggs Benedict?"},{"startTime":1563.4,"endTime":1565.4,"body":"It's probably like 1800 calories."},{"startTime":1565.4,"endTime":1568.4,"body":"So you're a little high, but okay, fine."},{"startTime":1568.4,"endTime":1572.4,"body":"It can be 1200 to 1400 calories."},{"startTime":1572.4,"endTime":1575.4,"body":"Now, at that point, I had no idea what that meant."},{"startTime":1575.4,"endTime":1582.4,"body":"So I looked up average caloric intake for a guy, my age, weight, all of these things."},{"startTime":1582.4,"endTime":1584.4,"body":"And it was like 2000 calories."},{"startTime":1584.4,"endTime":1590.4,"body":"And I sat back and I thought that sure doesn't leave a lot of calories for lunch or dinner then."},{"startTime":1590.4,"endTime":1591.4,"body":"Huh?"},{"startTime":1591.4,"endTime":1592.4,"body":"What?"},{"startTime":1592.4,"endTime":1597.4,"body":"And that began a process of beginning to pay attention to calories."},{"startTime":1597.0,"endTime":1603.0,"body":"And as, as I would then buy things at the store, looking at what the calories are"},{"startTime":1603.0,"endTime":1607.0,"body":"and then how much sugar and the carbs and how much sugar is added."},{"startTime":1607.4,"endTime":1613.4,"body":"And I'll never forget when I found out how much sugar was added to Skippy peanut butter, I was furious."},{"startTime":1613.4,"endTime":1619.4,"body":"I'm like, I've been eating this my whole life and they've added this much extra sugar that I didn't need."},{"startTime":1619.4,"endTime":1627.4,"body":"So skills, resources, knowledge, understanding how to then even look at the calories."},{"startTime":1627.4,"endTime":1631.4,"body":"And so that was the little journey that then helped me."},{"startTime":1631.4,"endTime":1637.4,"body":"And then, of course, yes, getting the treadmill, getting the gym membership, getting all of these things."},{"startTime":1637.0,"endTime":1644.0,"body":"Be able to then have the resources to start getting in shape, to start affecting one's diet,"},{"startTime":1644.0,"endTime":1648.0,"body":"to start being able to then get ready to make the changes."},{"startTime":1648.4,"endTime":1656.4,"body":"And what I appreciate about the example you're sharing there, Daniel, is the interchange really between all three of the first steps."},{"startTime":1656.0,"endTime":1665.0,"body":"And usually we lay them out in the order that we state them because often that is the order that they appear."},{"startTime":1665.0,"endTime":1673.0,"body":"As you have awareness, then desire can be built and then you can be more aware of those skills and resources."},{"startTime":1673.0,"endTime":1679.0,"body":"But as you engage in gathering and looking and having those skills and resources built,"},{"startTime":1679.0,"endTime":1682.0,"body":"it can have that effect on building desire as well."},{"startTime":1682.0,"endTime":1684.0,"body":"It can further add to awareness."},{"startTime":1684.0,"endTime":1692.0,"body":"So there is that interplay between those three, but all of it stops if we're not doing anything with it."},{"startTime":1692.0,"endTime":1695.0,"body":"And that's why there's that fourth key step of action."},{"startTime":1695.0,"endTime":1700.0,"body":"We have to not just examine and love the books on the shelf."},{"startTime":1700.0,"endTime":1704.0,"body":"Oh, I want to learn all these things, so I've bought all these books."},{"startTime":1704.4,"endTime":1706.4,"body":"And they're sitting there, aren't they beautiful?"},{"startTime":1706.0,"endTime":1711.0,"body":"But nothing happens to get that information into our brain unless we actually open the book"},{"startTime":1711.0,"endTime":1715.0,"body":"or we go and engage in the activity or whatever it might be."},{"startTime":1715.0,"endTime":1723.0,"body":"So putting it into action, setting that goal, writing it down, looking at the steps of"},{"startTime":1723.0,"endTime":1728.0,"body":"how you're going to progress toward that, that's huge."},{"startTime":1728.4,"endTime":1730.4,"body":"It's starting."},{"startTime":1730.4,"endTime":1738.4,"body":"It's getting the inertia from nothing to moving forward, progress toward that."},{"startTime":1738.4,"endTime":1746.4,"body":"Yeah, and it's also not getting 15 or 20 things to do."},{"startTime":1746.4,"endTime":1747.4,"body":"Why not?"},{"startTime":1747.0,"endTime":1752.0,"body":"It's what are the couple of things that are realistic, that are measurable,"},{"startTime":1752.0,"endTime":1756.0,"body":"that you believe will actually help, that make sense to you."},{"startTime":1756.0,"endTime":1762.0,"body":"That's the key thing because sometimes you get the overachiever who's like, yeah,"},{"startTime":1762.0,"endTime":1767.0,"body":"we got 2,500 things that we're going to tackle right now, and we got to do it all right now."},{"startTime":1767.4,"endTime":1769.4,"body":"And it's like, stop."},{"startTime":1769.4,"endTime":1774.4,"body":"What are the couple that make the most sense that you can focus on right now?"},{"startTime":1774.4,"endTime":1776.4,"body":"How can you start making a difference today?"},{"startTime":1776.4,"endTime":1779.4,"body":"How can you move the needle a little bit?"},{"startTime":1779.4,"endTime":1781.4,"body":"What is reasonable?"},{"startTime":1781.4,"endTime":1783.4,"body":"What is going to help overall?"},{"startTime":1783.4,"endTime":1788.4,"body":"And what is going to get at the highest priority, the highest value add?"},{"startTime":1788.4,"endTime":1795.4,"body":"And whether that's within your organization, within the marketplace, or at home, at a personal level."},{"startTime":1795.0,"endTime":1802.0,"body":"Any of these sorts of things because if you want to suddenly like lose weight or get fit or,"},{"startTime":1802.0,"endTime":1805.0,"body":"you know, it's not like I'm going to run a marathon next week."},{"startTime":1805.4,"endTime":1810.4,"body":"Whoa, how can I actually start running this week?"},{"startTime":1810.4,"endTime":1813.4,"body":"Maybe three times for 15 minutes."},{"startTime":1813.4,"endTime":1817.4,"body":"Specific, measurable, is it realistic?"},{"startTime":1817.4,"endTime":1818.4,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1818.4,"endTime":1819.4,"body":"When are you going to do it?"},{"startTime":1819.4,"endTime":1821.4,"body":"Okay, I'm going to run right before work."},{"startTime":1821.4,"endTime":1823.4,"body":"Or when I get home before dinner, I'm going to go."},{"startTime":1823.4,"endTime":1826.4,"body":"Something that makes sense."},{"startTime":1826.0,"endTime":1832.0,"body":"And this is where I love the idea of like piggybacking on other habits so that you can then"},{"startTime":1832.0,"endTime":1839.0,"body":"draw in if you regularly have a habit in the morning of, you know, during doing certain things."},{"startTime":1839.0,"endTime":1847.0,"body":"How can you then wake up a half hour early and then plug into a reward of, oh, yeah,"},{"startTime":1847.0,"endTime":1852.0,"body":"your coffee is then waiting once you're done half hour of walking on the treadmill."},{"startTime":1852.4,"endTime":1853.4,"body":"Great."},{"startTime":1853.0,"endTime":1859.0,"body":"Something to then build in a reason but the actions need to be specific,"},{"startTime":1859.0,"endTime":1863.0,"body":"not overwhelming, and something you can believe in."},{"startTime":1863.0,"endTime":1869.0,"body":"And then the other thing I'll mention is make sure that if you don't do it once,"},{"startTime":1869.0,"endTime":1872.0,"body":"it's not a point where you're like, okay, I'm messed up."},{"startTime":1872.4,"endTime":1874.4,"body":"I cannot do it anymore."},{"startTime":1874.4,"endTime":1875.4,"body":"I'm done."},{"startTime":1875.4,"endTime":1876.4,"body":"I'm out."},{"startTime":1876.4,"endTime":1877.4,"body":"No, no, no."},{"startTime":1877.4,"endTime":1878.4,"body":"You just skipped once."},{"startTime":1878.4,"endTime":1881.4,"body":"So do it again the next time and keep going."},{"startTime":1881.4,"endTime":1888.4,"body":"And it's that last part of, oh, I messed up, where we become our own enemy."},{"startTime":1888.4,"endTime":1892.4,"body":"And that pattern, okay, we can feel like a failure."},{"startTime":1892.4,"endTime":1893.4,"body":"I didn't do it."},{"startTime":1893.0,"endTime":1897.0,"body":"I set this big lofty goal that I was going to get up every morning and work out"},{"startTime":1897.0,"endTime":1901.0,"body":"for 45 minutes or whatever it might be and you miss a day."},{"startTime":1901.0,"endTime":1906.0,"body":"And that's why we can then become -- you can have that negative cycle"},{"startTime":1906.0,"endTime":1909.0,"body":"of where we stop and our progress goes down."},{"startTime":1909.4,"endTime":1912.4,"body":"Which is why the fifth step is so critical."},{"startTime":1912.4,"endTime":1919.4,"body":"Not only does it allow for somebody to help cheer us on, but it allows for that accountability."},{"startTime":1919.4,"endTime":1922.4,"body":"And that fifth step is support."},{"startTime":1922.4,"endTime":1930.4,"body":"We're sharing with somebody else, even if it's just one person, what our plan is, what our action is."},{"startTime":1930.4,"endTime":1936.4,"body":"We've described it to them and we've made that request, will you follow up with me?"},{"startTime":1936.4,"endTime":1937.4,"body":"Will you check in?"},{"startTime":1937.4,"endTime":1939.4,"body":"How am I doing?"},{"startTime":1939.4,"endTime":1943.4,"body":"Allow me to give you a report on it."},{"startTime":1943.4,"endTime":1946.4,"body":"And if you do mess up, fine."},{"startTime":1946.4,"endTime":1947.4,"body":"It's not the end of the world."},{"startTime":1947.4,"endTime":1950.4,"body":"We're humans, not robots."},{"startTime":1950.4,"endTime":1952.4,"body":"That's expected."},{"startTime":1952.4,"endTime":1956.4,"body":"So then they're able to say, all right, well, that means you actually did it three out of four days."},{"startTime":1956.4,"endTime":1961.4,"body":"Well, that's three more times you would have done it if you didn't have a plan."},{"startTime":1961.4,"endTime":1969.4,"body":"So it's celebrating those small wins as you're moving forward, as you're looking at getting that support and that help."},{"startTime":1969.4,"endTime":1972.4,"body":"So that's really how the change progresses."},{"startTime":1972.4,"endTime":1976.4,"body":"But you have to have that last piece to really have it sustained."},{"startTime":1976.4,"endTime":1981.4,"body":"Somebody is going to check in on you."},{"startTime":1981.4,"endTime":1986.4,"body":"And building on that, I often think of the support in two ways."},{"startTime":1986.0,"endTime":1992.0,"body":"The first is you need that one-on-one personal interaction, somebody who cares enough about you,"},{"startTime":1992.0,"endTime":2001.0,"body":"that trusted partner, friend, colleague, spouse, whoever it is, coach, mentor."},{"startTime":2001.4,"endTime":2008.4,"body":"I often say somebody who loves you enough to hug you or kick you, metaphorically, of course."},{"startTime":2008.4,"endTime":2013.4,"body":"But to be able to care about you and say, hey, I know you want to do this."},{"startTime":2013.4,"endTime":2015.4,"body":"How can I help you be able to do this?"},{"startTime":2015.4,"endTime":2019.4,"body":"So that's the one way of support, that interpersonal."},{"startTime":2019.4,"endTime":2029.4,"body":"And then the other is the structural, the cultural, the societal, the policy procedure, the system."},{"startTime":2029.4,"endTime":2032.4,"body":"What is being reinforced?"},{"startTime":2032.0,"endTime":2038.0,"body":"And if you go in and you're hanging out with others who are just eating nonstop"},{"startTime":2038.0,"endTime":2043.0,"body":"and they're drinking and the calories, that's going to be a hard environment."},{"startTime":2043.4,"endTime":2049.4,"body":"And it's going to be not as helpful if you're trying to get in shape."},{"startTime":2049.0,"endTime":2054.0,"body":"There are things you can do to then recognize and be able to say,"},{"startTime":2054.0,"endTime":2056.0,"body":"hey, these are some of the ways I need to do it."},{"startTime":2056.4,"endTime":2062.4,"body":"Please, on the personal level, help support because these are important things."},{"startTime":2062.4,"endTime":2069.4,"body":"However, this support mechanism, as we've mentioned, is one of the main reasons why actions fail."},{"startTime":2069.0,"endTime":2077.0,"body":"And we often will joke, regular gym goers, they love January 14th or often the second"},{"startTime":2077.0,"endTime":2084.0,"body":"Friday of every January because that is typically when the new gym goers stop going."},{"startTime":2084.0,"endTime":2089.0,"body":"And the established gym goers are like, yes, I can have my old treadmill back"},{"startTime":2089.0,"endTime":2093.0,"body":"and there aren't going to be many people around anymore."},{"startTime":2093.4,"endTime":2096.4,"body":"Because oftentimes it's that support."},{"startTime":2096.4,"endTime":2105.4,"body":"We need that on the personal level and on the broader cultural, structural level as well."},{"startTime":2105.4,"endTime":2110.4,"body":"So five steps, critical, and I'll just share on the personal side of it."},{"startTime":2110.0,"endTime":2114.0,"body":"As I was, several years ago, trying to figure out the whole calories"},{"startTime":2114.0,"endTime":2118.0,"body":"and the exercise, I also recognized I needed to move."},{"startTime":2118.4,"endTime":2124.4,"body":"Stress was building up and I needed to exercise three times a week."},{"startTime":2124.4,"endTime":2131.4,"body":"I don't always do it, but that's been my goal for quite a long time, especially to run three times a week."},{"startTime":2131.4,"endTime":2136.4,"body":"Monday, Wednesday, Friday, at five o'clock or so."},{"startTime":2136.4,"endTime":2139.4,"body":"That's the best time for me to go out and run."},{"startTime":2139.4,"endTime":2140.4,"body":"It's on my calendar."},{"startTime":2140.4,"endTime":2142.4,"body":"I tell people about it."},{"startTime":2142.4,"endTime":2143.4,"body":"My wife knows about it."},{"startTime":2143.4,"endTime":2146.4,"body":"I mean, it's out there to reinforce."},{"startTime":2146.4,"endTime":2149.4,"body":"And I do it as much as I possibly can."},{"startTime":2149.4,"endTime":2155.4,"body":"It's on your calendar, so even as a company, we don't schedule things during that time."},{"startTime":2155.4,"endTime":2157.4,"body":"We try very much to respect that."},{"startTime":2157.0,"endTime":2161.0,"body":"So let me share a professional example of this process"},{"startTime":2161.0,"endTime":2165.0,"body":"as I was coaching an individual who was a very eager new leader."},{"startTime":2165.4,"endTime":2172.4,"body":"She had just been put in a position to lead a team of about 300 or 400 engineers."},{"startTime":2172.4,"endTime":2177.4,"body":"She was the first female lead that this company had ever had of this group."},{"startTime":2177.4,"endTime":2182.4,"body":"Successful engineer in her own right, relatively young in her career."},{"startTime":2182.4,"endTime":2190.4,"body":"Got feedback from a 360 that people thought she was angry a lot, that she was angry often."},{"startTime":2190.4,"endTime":2195.4,"body":"And as we were talking through this, I said, \"Do you mind if I share an observation?\""},{"startTime":2195.4,"endTime":2203.4,"body":"And the observation was that when she thinks deeply, her eyebrows kind of go down at an angle."},{"startTime":2203.4,"endTime":2210.4,"body":"And she has this thinking face, this thinking face that gives the appearance like she's upset."},{"startTime":2210.4,"endTime":2213.4,"body":"Her intention is not that she's upset."},{"startTime":2213.4,"endTime":2216.4,"body":"I knew that knowing her, but it gives that impression."},{"startTime":2216.4,"endTime":2219.4,"body":"She had awareness from the 360."},{"startTime":2219.4,"endTime":2223.4,"body":"She expressed she wanted to be--I mean, the desire wasn't the issue there."},{"startTime":2223.4,"endTime":2226.4,"body":"She very much wanted to be a successful leader."},{"startTime":2226.4,"endTime":2229.4,"body":"She needed skills and resources to be able to alter that."},{"startTime":2229.4,"endTime":2236.4,"body":"And that turned out to be some time in front of the mirror, having phone conversations in the mirror"},{"startTime":2236.4,"endTime":2243.4,"body":"so that she could watch her face and her reaction to that, and sharing it with somebody else"},{"startTime":2243.4,"endTime":2247.4,"body":"to then be able to provide that feedback real-time during meetings"},{"startTime":2247.4,"endTime":2254.4,"body":"if she started to have that kind of upset thinking face that she had."},{"startTime":2254.4,"endTime":2257.4,"body":"And over time, she was able to alter that and adjust it."},{"startTime":2257.4,"endTime":2259.4,"body":"So she used all of the steps."},{"startTime":2259.4,"endTime":2266.4,"body":"And obviously, as a coach, I was there to support her as well as the person that she'd had as sharing the plan with."},{"startTime":2266.0,"endTime":2271.0,"body":"But all of that was followed so that then you could really see"},{"startTime":2271.0,"endTime":2278.0,"body":"the true desire that she had to be a really good leader for that group."},{"startTime":2278.4,"endTime":2281.4,"body":"And she did it for a number of years doing that."},{"startTime":2281.4,"endTime":2286.4,"body":"So it can be applied in so many different levels."},{"startTime":2286.4,"endTime":2291.4,"body":"But there aren't too many things we say on here that is potentially life-changing."},{"startTime":2291.4,"endTime":2295.4,"body":"But this core concept is not to even be overly dramatic."},{"startTime":2295.4,"endTime":2298.4,"body":"There are so many implications for it."},{"startTime":2298.4,"endTime":2307.4,"body":"So the five steps, as we've said it many times, awareness, desire, skills and resources, action, and support."},{"startTime":2307.4,"endTime":2308.4,"body":"Fantastic."},{"startTime":2308.4,"endTime":2310.4,"body":"Kay, Lightning Round, Peter."},{"startTime":2310.4,"endTime":2314.4,"body":"[MUSIC PLAYING]"},{"startTime":2314.4,"endTime":2316.4,"body":"Here's a question for you."},{"startTime":2316.0,"endTime":2323.0,"body":"How can a leader, how can a manager use the five steps of personal change"},{"startTime":2323.0,"endTime":2329.0,"body":"to help somebody on their team develop and change?"},{"startTime":2329.4,"endTime":2330.4,"body":"That's a great question."},{"startTime":2330.4,"endTime":2334.4,"body":"So a leader can use these five steps of change."},{"startTime":2334.4,"endTime":2341.4,"body":"First, by teaching them, by sharing them as you're having one-on-one conversations."},{"startTime":2341.0,"endTime":2348.0,"body":"And as you give feedback, couching it in that way of, here's information I want"},{"startTime":2348.0,"endTime":2351.0,"body":"to be able to share with you to increase some awareness."},{"startTime":2351.4,"endTime":2354.4,"body":"Having a conversation to help assess that desire."},{"startTime":2354.4,"endTime":2356.4,"body":"What are some steps we can do?"},{"startTime":2356.4,"endTime":2358.4,"body":"Is this new information?"},{"startTime":2358.4,"endTime":2363.4,"body":"What are some skills or resources we can point you towards to give you access to?"},{"startTime":2363.4,"endTime":2367.4,"body":"How do we help create a very specific goal?"},{"startTime":2367.4,"endTime":2370.4,"body":"And then what do you need from me to support you in that effort?"},{"startTime":2370.4,"endTime":2373.4,"body":"So it helps guide some of those conversations."},{"startTime":2373.4,"endTime":2382.4,"body":"So this isn't deep, a secret formula, secret plan that you never want to tell anybody about."},{"startTime":2382.4,"endTime":2383.4,"body":"Lay it out."},{"startTime":2383.4,"endTime":2391.4,"body":"Keep it out in the open so you can use that to facilitate those development conversations."},{"startTime":2391.0,"endTime":2398.0,"body":"Okay, Daniel, question for you then is how do you help somebody who"},{"startTime":2398.0,"endTime":2402.0,"body":"doesn't feel like they have anybody to reach out to for support?"},{"startTime":2402.4,"endTime":2410.4,"body":"Like they're just confused on who can I really, who would really follow up with me?"},{"startTime":2410.4,"endTime":2412.4,"body":"Yeah, that's a good one."},{"startTime":2412.0,"endTime":2416.0,"body":"Especially as we've talked about the five steps of personal change,"},{"startTime":2416.0,"endTime":2420.0,"body":"support is the most critical element to be able to sustain it."},{"startTime":2420.0,"endTime":2427.0,"body":"And it's critical then to ask a person, all right, let's go quickly through"},{"startTime":2427.0,"endTime":2430.0,"body":"who's your boss, who are the people on your team,"},{"startTime":2430.4,"endTime":2436.4,"body":"who are your peers, and who are others in the organization who you actively work with?"},{"startTime":2436.4,"endTime":2437.4,"body":"Let's map that."},{"startTime":2437.4,"endTime":2439.4,"body":"Let's identify who these people are."},{"startTime":2439.4,"endTime":2441.4,"body":"And let's go one more step."},{"startTime":2441.4,"endTime":2447.4,"body":"Who are the folks at home that you live with or that you see all the time?"},{"startTime":2447.4,"endTime":2449.4,"body":"Who are the closest friends?"},{"startTime":2449.4,"endTime":2452.4,"body":"Who are some of the folks who care most about you?"},{"startTime":2452.4,"endTime":2454.4,"body":"Let's write that down."},{"startTime":2454.4,"endTime":2460.4,"body":"And what's remarkable is you start actually putting names out there."},{"startTime":2460.4,"endTime":2466.4,"body":"And then you can sit back and say, all right, out of these 10, 15, 20 names that you've captured,"},{"startTime":2466.4,"endTime":2474.4,"body":"if you had to pick one person who could help support you on this specific action, who would it be?"},{"startTime":2474.4,"endTime":2479.4,"body":"And what I find is getting specific, getting options out there, narrowing it down,"},{"startTime":2479.4,"endTime":2485.4,"body":"that helps get the mind thinking about who they might want to leverage."},{"startTime":2485.0,"endTime":2490.0,"body":"And whether it is somebody end up there or it might spark somebody else,"},{"startTime":2490.0,"endTime":2494.0,"body":"the point is to find out who might that person be,"},{"startTime":2494.0,"endTime":2498.0,"body":"because inevitably there is that somebody out there,"},{"startTime":2498.0,"endTime":2502.0,"body":"not to mention your own coach who can help support you as well."},{"startTime":2502.4,"endTime":2508.4,"body":"There's always somebody who can help support you as you're striving to then sustain personal change"},{"startTime":2508.4,"endTime":2513.4,"body":"to achieve the business and people results that you need to achieve."},{"startTime":2513.4,"endTime":2515.4,"body":"Very, very well put."},{"startTime":2515.4,"endTime":2519.4,"body":"Well, in the spirit of the conversation we've had then is as you're listening to this,"},{"startTime":2519.4,"endTime":2523.4,"body":"as we're speaking to our listeners now, as you're thinking,"},{"startTime":2523.4,"endTime":2531.4,"body":"what is one thing that you can do different to improve some aspect of your job, of your life,"},{"startTime":2531.4,"endTime":2538.4,"body":"whatever it might be, as you identify that one goal, who can you now share that goal with?"},{"startTime":2538.4,"endTime":2543.4,"body":"What's the one thing you're going to try and do a little different and then who can you share it with?"},{"startTime":2543.4,"endTime":2550.4,"body":"As you answer those two questions and do it, it's sure going to increase the likelihood of that change happening."},{"startTime":2550.4,"endTime":2555.4,"body":"Fantastic. That is the invitation and challenge we leave with all of you."},{"startTime":2555.4,"endTime":2559.4,"body":"Thanks for joining us on the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":2559.4,"endTime":2565.4,"body":"Please like and subscribe and we'll look forward to having you join us on the next time."},{"startTime":2565.4,"endTime":2566.4,"body":"Take care, everyone."},{"startTime":2566.4,"endTime":2571.4,"body":"If you like this episode, please share it with a friend or colleague or better yet,"},{"startTime":2571.4,"endTime":2574.4,"body":"leave a review to help other listeners find our show."},{"startTime":2574.4,"endTime":2578.4,"body":"And remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode."},{"startTime":2578.4,"endTime":2584.4,"body":"For more great content or to learn more about how Stewart Leadership can help you grow your ability to lead effectively,"},{"startTime":2584.4,"endTime":2587.4,"body":"please visit StewartLeadership.com."}]}