{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.001,"endTime":4.32,"body":"Coming up on the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":4.32,"endTime":11.84,"body":"What I find so often is we tend to put up even a stronger shell, a stronger ego, a thicker"},{"startTime":11.84,"endTime":18.88,"body":"ego when we are not secure in the situation where we don't feel as safe."},{"startTime":18.88,"endTime":25.92,"body":"And so that's a checkpoint, a reflective kind of self-check question to ask, \"Where are"},{"startTime":25.92,"endTime":29.6,"body":"my safe places as a leader?"},{"startTime":29.6,"endTime":32.86,"body":"Where can I let go of my shell a little?"},{"startTime":32.86,"endTime":34.2,"body":"How can I grow?"},{"startTime":34.2,"endTime":36.94,"body":"How can I become vulnerable?"},{"startTime":36.94,"endTime":41.44,"body":"How many places are there, especially in the workplace?\""},{"startTime":41.44,"endTime":47.28,"body":"And it's going to be challenging if you reflect and say, \"Where are the safe places in my"},{"startTime":47.28,"endTime":49.96,"body":"workplace place for me?\""},{"startTime":49.96,"endTime":56.08,"body":"If there is not a good answer, hardly any, versus actually with this person and this"},{"startTime":56.08,"endTime":61.16,"body":"situation or this team, I can be open, I can be candid."},{"startTime":61.16,"endTime":63.24,"body":"And that's a challenging place."},{"startTime":63.24,"endTime":66.0,"body":"So that's something for us to all think about."},{"startTime":66.0,"endTime":67.32,"body":"Where are those safe places?"},{"startTime":67.32,"endTime":75.4,"body":"Hence, we are all trying to create psychologically safe cultures and teams where we can be and"},{"startTime":75.4,"endTime":82.64,"body":"express ourself in a way that is helpful to the overall mission and focus while honoring"},{"startTime":82.64,"endTime":87.16,"body":"the strengths that we bring and not negating them."},{"startTime":87.16,"endTime":92.76,"body":"These are all critical in helping us be vulnerable so that we can be on the constant path of"},{"startTime":92.76,"endTime":94.36,"body":"learning."},{"startTime":94.36,"endTime":99.04,"body":"And so much of this vulnerability is connected to the ability to learn."},{"startTime":99.04,"endTime":103.4,"body":"Because if you're thinking, \"You're all that and a bag of chips,\" you're like, \"Why do"},{"startTime":103.4,"endTime":104.8,"body":"I need to learn anything?"},{"startTime":104.8,"endTime":107.24,"body":"I'm smart. Ha! Deal with it."},{"startTime":107.24,"endTime":109.12,"body":"I have all the great ideas.\""},{"startTime":109.12,"endTime":113.52,"body":"And you know what, I'll even take credit for your idea because eventually, actually, it"},{"startTime":113.52,"endTime":116.08,"body":"really came from me in some way, I'm sure."},{"startTime":116.08,"endTime":120.32,"body":"You know, that is whacked out thinking."},{"startTime":120.32,"endTime":128.44,"body":"Hey, everyone."},{"startTime":128.44,"endTime":131.52,"body":"Welcome to another episode of the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":131.52,"endTime":134.96,"body":"I'm Daniel Stewart, joined with my brother, Peter Stewart."},{"startTime":134.96,"endTime":140.68,"body":"We are your hosts and we are here to dive into another great conversation, talking about"},{"startTime":140.68,"endTime":145.52,"body":"tools and ideas to help you grow your ability to be a great leader."},{"startTime":145.52,"endTime":148.88,"body":"So Peter, how are you these days?"},{"startTime":148.88,"endTime":150.84,"body":"Doing well, enjoying this time."},{"startTime":150.84,"endTime":154.48,"body":"It's always great to chat again and do another podcast."},{"startTime":154.48,"endTime":155.62,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":155.62,"endTime":157.72,"body":"So let's start off with an insight."},{"startTime":157.72,"endTime":159.44,"body":"Oh, no, no."},{"startTime":159.44,"endTime":161.36,"body":"We'll do an insight in a moment."},{"startTime":161.36,"endTime":166.24,"body":"Let's do the Memory Lane segment."},{"startTime":166.24,"endTime":172.16,"body":"We were chatting about something we had thought of."},{"startTime":172.16,"endTime":174.96,"body":"Do you want to share that, Peter?"},{"startTime":174.96,"endTime":175.96,"body":"Sure."},{"startTime":175.96,"endTime":179.84,"body":"So we'd recently all gathered together as a whole bunch of Stewarts, a little family"},{"startTime":179.84,"endTime":181.0,"body":"reunion."},{"startTime":181.0,"endTime":182.4,"body":"That was fun."},{"startTime":182.4,"endTime":188.12,"body":"And my dad had been cleaning out the garage and brought some artifacts that he found that"},{"startTime":188.12,"endTime":189.56,"body":"he had dug up."},{"startTime":189.56,"endTime":196.56,"body":"So these were feedback assessment booklets from various decades over his career, mostly"},{"startTime":196.56,"endTime":199.36,"body":"from the early '80s into early '90s."},{"startTime":199.36,"endTime":200.6,"body":"And so he laid them out on a table."},{"startTime":200.6,"endTime":204.2,"body":"And it's funny, all the grandkids were running around looking at them, wondering what in"},{"startTime":204.2,"endTime":206.44,"body":"the world are these things."},{"startTime":206.44,"endTime":213.2,"body":"But as you start opening them up and realizing, here we are, circa 1983, and the questions"},{"startTime":213.2,"endTime":219.4,"body":"are being asked of how well a manager is listening, how well they're asking for feedback, how"},{"startTime":219.4,"endTime":222.32,"body":"well they're holding their team meetings, all these things."},{"startTime":222.32,"endTime":228.0,"body":"And it struck me, one, to remember all of these, that these were our childhood growing"},{"startTime":228.0,"endTime":230.36,"body":"up helping to compile these."},{"startTime":230.36,"endTime":236.16,"body":"But just this notion of all this effort just to go through the process to try and obtain"},{"startTime":236.16,"endTime":237.16,"body":"feedback."},{"startTime":237.16,"endTime":239.6,"body":"And here we are decades later."},{"startTime":239.6,"endTime":244.08,"body":"And sure, the mechanisms may have changed, but we're still just trying to get a little"},{"startTime":244.08,"endTime":250.24,"body":"feedback to learn how do other people really perceive us."},{"startTime":250.24,"endTime":251.24,"body":"That's a fantastic point."},{"startTime":251.24,"endTime":257.64,"body":"And I also like how you talked about how Dad like unearthed, he dug up these relics."},{"startTime":257.64,"endTime":258.64,"body":"These artifacts."},{"startTime":258.64,"endTime":262.76,"body":"These artifacts that he brought."},{"startTime":262.76,"endTime":264.08,"body":"And it was amazing to look."},{"startTime":264.08,"endTime":271.0,"body":"And to your point, we are still, as humans, especially in the workplace, seeking as many"},{"startTime":271.0,"endTime":274.24,"body":"different ways as we can for feedback."},{"startTime":274.24,"endTime":281.88,"body":"Anonymous feedback, confidential feedback, open, transparent, candid feedback, something"},{"startTime":281.88,"endTime":287.56,"body":"so that we can then all improve our ability to understand who we are, our self-awareness,"},{"startTime":287.56,"endTime":290.64,"body":"and then do something about it."},{"startTime":290.64,"endTime":295.88,"body":"And it's a powerful thing because today, I mean, all of those assessments have been iterated"},{"startTime":295.88,"endTime":301.68,"body":"over the years and they're now all online, as most all assessments are."},{"startTime":301.68,"endTime":308.76,"body":"But it still speaks to the point and our need for constant feedback so that we can then"},{"startTime":308.76,"endTime":310.44,"body":"be able to be our best."},{"startTime":310.44,"endTime":312.12,"body":"It is."},{"startTime":312.12,"endTime":317.48,"body":"And I think just as we also take it a little more personally, that here was Dad sharing"},{"startTime":317.48,"endTime":324.2,"body":"with 16 grandkids ranging in age from, you know, in 20s down to quite a bit younger."},{"startTime":324.2,"endTime":330.04,"body":"Here's a little part of my life, you know, and sharing with them that part of it."},{"startTime":330.04,"endTime":336.32,"body":"So I think it's also we I don't think we should be afraid to just let others know a little"},{"startTime":336.32,"endTime":339.4,"body":"bit about our life, a little bit about our history, some of the things we might be proud"},{"startTime":339.4,"endTime":343.96,"body":"of, because you could tell there was pride in his eyes as he was sharing these."},{"startTime":343.96,"endTime":345.44,"body":"Yeah, that's fantastic."},{"startTime":345.44,"endTime":346.44,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":346.44,"endTime":347.44,"body":"16 grandkids."},{"startTime":347.44,"endTime":350.92,"body":"That's that's what my mom and that's what mom and dad have."},{"startTime":350.92,"endTime":352.48,"body":"That's fantastic."},{"startTime":352.48,"endTime":353.48,"body":"OK."},{"startTime":353.48,"endTime":354.96,"body":"Great comments, Memory Lane."},{"startTime":354.96,"endTime":363.52,"body":"And so here's the next segment here, Insight of the Week."},{"startTime":363.52,"endTime":368.36,"body":"And so I was listening to a Freakonomics podcast, one of my favorite podcasts."},{"startTime":368.36,"endTime":371.54,"body":"Yep, I'm putting a plug in for that."},{"startTime":371.54,"endTime":372.84,"body":"It's a great one."},{"startTime":372.84,"endTime":374.44,"body":"It's a great, fantastic one."},{"startTime":374.44,"endTime":378.78,"body":"I'm going to get the the specific podcast right."},{"startTime":378.78,"endTime":382.32,"body":"It's podcast 592 was the one I was listening to."},{"startTime":382.32,"endTime":385.22,"body":"It was about Broadway shows."},{"startTime":385.22,"endTime":395.5,"body":"And they were mentioning that about 80 percent of the Broadway shows actually make a profit."},{"startTime":395.5,"endTime":399.84,"body":"And I heard that and they were even estimating that that that might be"},{"startTime":395.5,"endTime":400.84,"body":"a little overstating it."},{"startTime":400.84,"endTime":402.44,"body":"And I'm like, no way."},{"startTime":402.44,"endTime":403.44,"body":"80 percent."},{"startTime":403.44,"endTime":409.66,"body":"And that's that's not, you know, 20 percent that actually make a lot of money."},{"startTime":409.66,"endTime":415.46,"body":"No, that includes ones shows that just barely break even."},{"startTime":415.46,"endTime":419.54,"body":"So that 20 percent includes just barely breaking even."},{"startTime":419.54,"endTime":424.62,"body":"And those 80 percent don't even get there."},{"startTime":424.62,"endTime":426.56,"body":"And so it's it's a lot."},{"startTime":426.56,"endTime":431.86,"body":"And I sat back and I'm like, OK, that's the economics for Broadway."},{"startTime":431.86,"endTime":436.34,"body":"And there's what, usually 35, 36 shows playing at any one time."},{"startTime":436.34,"endTime":441.02,"body":"All of the other shows that are people are thinking about in the creative process and"},{"startTime":441.02,"endTime":443.98,"body":"can take years to get going."},{"startTime":443.98,"endTime":449.14,"body":"And it just reinforces the whole notion that you don't stop, though."},{"startTime":449.14,"endTime":454.62,"body":"You keep trying, you keep relearning, you keep trying something new, you keep investigating"},{"startTime":454.62,"endTime":457.02,"body":"and and workshopping."},{"startTime":457.02,"endTime":462.9,"body":"And it's it's both a beautiful and a depressing thing at the exact same time."},{"startTime":462.9,"endTime":463.9,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":463.9,"endTime":471.1,"body":"Oh, you don't give up, you know, and for every Hamilton that's a global phenomenon"},{"startTime":471.1,"endTime":474.54,"body":"you know, you're going to have the hundred, two hundred, three hundred Broadway shows"},{"startTime":474.54,"endTime":480.74,"body":"that nobody ever hears of unless you're living in Broadway and going to every show."},{"startTime":480.74,"endTime":481.74,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":482.74,"endTime":483.74,"body":"So you don't give up."},{"startTime":483.74,"endTime":487.94,"body":"You know and it's hard to even determine what's going to become that that huge hit."},{"startTime":487.94,"endTime":494.62,"body":"It was like I remember several years ago, driving to work, listening to NPR, and there"},{"startTime":494.62,"endTime":496.08,"body":"was this guest on"},{"startTime":496.08,"endTime":501.0,"body":"they were interviewing and he was talking about his new musical that was coming out"},{"startTime":501.0,"endTime":503.58,"body":"and it was called Hamilton."},{"startTime":503.58,"endTime":505.82,"body":"And it was just getting ready to open."},{"startTime":505.82,"endTime":508.3,"body":"I'd never heard of this before."},{"startTime":508.3,"endTime":512.58,"body":"And he was talking about how he'd been reading this book about Alexander Hamilton about six"},{"startTime":512.58,"endTime":517.98,"body":"or seven years before, while he'd been on vacation and just inspired by the story and"},{"startTime":517.98,"endTime":523.94,"body":"said, I want to put this into music, music that's going to connect with a broader audience"},{"startTime":523.94,"endTime":527.86,"body":"to help share the story of Alexander Hamilton."},{"startTime":527.86,"endTime":533.74,"body":"Little did I know I was sitting here listening to what would become a massive hit across"},{"startTime":533.74,"endTime":535.06,"body":"the world."},{"startTime":535.06,"endTime":536.06,"body":"Yeah. Yeah."},{"startTime":537.06,"endTime":543.38,"body":"And it's good to remember as well that not all of our endeavors, whether they're creative"},{"startTime":543.38,"endTime":550.1,"body":"on Broadway or not, they don't always, of course, become that mega hit."},{"startTime":550.1,"endTime":551.7,"body":"And that is OK."},{"startTime":551.7,"endTime":554.66,"body":"That does not mean that we should stop."},{"startTime":554.66,"endTime":558.86,"body":"And it reminds me of this this balance between these two forces."},{"startTime":558.86,"endTime":562.3,"body":"Oftentimes it's glory and work."},{"startTime":562.3,"endTime":566.34,"body":"And oftentimes we we want a lot of glory."},{"startTime":566.34,"endTime":569.38,"body":"And we try to reduce the amount of work to get there."},{"startTime":569.38,"endTime":573.38,"body":"But sometimes some projects are all about the work and we just"},{"startTime":574.38,"endTime":576.5,"body":"don't have much glory to it."},{"startTime":576.5,"endTime":578.02,"body":"And that's the nature of it."},{"startTime":578.02,"endTime":580.74,"body":"And it doesn't mean that it's bad."},{"startTime":580.74,"endTime":582.94,"body":"It means that there's a lot to learn."},{"startTime":582.94,"endTime":588.38,"body":"And I guess that's what I take from some of this is what are we continually learning and"},{"startTime":588.38,"endTime":595.1,"body":"how are we being able to continue to pursue excellence and continue to pursue the creative"},{"startTime":595.1,"endTime":601.34,"body":"process because whether you're singing and creating amazing lyrics and creating wonderful"},{"startTime":601.34,"endTime":607.46,"body":"set designs or you're in any sort of organization or team and you're trying to figure out how"},{"startTime":607.46,"endTime":612.14,"body":"you influence effectively and how you bring people along and how you be able to improve"},{"startTime":612.14,"endTime":614.82,"body":"the level of quality of decision making."},{"startTime":614.82,"endTime":621.06,"body":"That is an ongoing mission that sometimes the glory and the work ratio is a little out"},{"startTime":621.06,"endTime":624.18,"body":"of whack, but it's a lot of work."},{"startTime":624.18,"endTime":628.62,"body":"And usually that's what kind of dominates is that work aspect."},{"startTime":628.62,"endTime":630.46,"body":"And that's okay."},{"startTime":630.46,"endTime":633.7,"body":"And to keep that in mind so we don't get discouraged."},{"startTime":633.7,"endTime":638.06,"body":"Yeah, not every decision is going to be a home run."},{"startTime":638.06,"endTime":640.38,"body":"Not everything's going to work out and it's okay with that."},{"startTime":640.38,"endTime":644.34,"body":"You know, you can remind yourself about, you know, going back to baseball, as I said, home"},{"startTime":644.34,"endTime":649.1,"body":"runs, you know, what Hall of Fame batting average is a 300."},{"startTime":649.1,"endTime":654.66,"body":"Meaning you strike out 70% of the time or you get out, you know, you're only getting"},{"startTime":654.66,"endTime":656.94,"body":"a hit 30% of the time."},{"startTime":656.94,"endTime":658.66,"body":"And that's like Hall of Fame credential."},{"startTime":658.66,"endTime":661.34,"body":"Ted Williams had a 400 batting average."},{"startTime":661.34,"endTime":664.42,"body":"One of the only ones to ever do that many, many years ago."},{"startTime":664.42,"endTime":667.9,"body":"That means he still got out 60% of the time."},{"startTime":667.9,"endTime":674.82,"body":"So we keep trying, but it's, as you're talking about this notion of work and glory, what"},{"startTime":674.82,"endTime":677.3,"body":"is it that drives an individual?"},{"startTime":677.3,"endTime":681.9,"body":"You know, what type of glory are they wanting to obtain?"},{"startTime":681.9,"endTime":685.62,"body":"You know, and do you substitute, you know, because some folks might be listening and"},{"startTime":685.62,"endTime":692.02,"body":"saying, well, I don't want a lot of glory, but I think that can take different forms."},{"startTime":692.02,"endTime":697.22,"body":"Some of that glory might just feel a feeling of success, a feeling of accomplishment, a"},{"startTime":697.22,"endTime":700.9,"body":"feeling of pride in what is being done."},{"startTime":700.9,"endTime":707.26,"body":"You know, acknowledgement for what's been, what's happened, what's been attained."},{"startTime":707.26,"endTime":710.34,"body":"And it's going to require work to get there."},{"startTime":710.34,"endTime":711.34,"body":"And it's putting all that work."},{"startTime":711.34,"endTime":715.98,"body":"And so many of the, you know, the behind the scenes stories, you know, they were talking"},{"startTime":715.98,"endTime":719.22,"body":"about musical artists, whether we're talking about athletes, whether we're talking about"},{"startTime":719.22,"endTime":723.58,"body":"business folks or chefs or whatever."},{"startTime":723.58,"endTime":729.54,"body":"Usually when you get those biographies of the successful folks, what is the common theme?"},{"startTime":729.54,"endTime":732.68,"body":"Failure, failure, failure, failure, failure."},{"startTime":732.68,"endTime":734.18,"body":"But they keep trying and keep trying."},{"startTime":734.18,"endTime":735.66,"body":"They've mortgaged their house."},{"startTime":735.66,"endTime":737.1,"body":"You know, second mortgage on this."},{"startTime":737.1,"endTime":743.26,"body":"They've taken out, they're about to hit rock bottom and then some break hits and it begins"},{"startTime":743.26,"endTime":748.18,"body":"to take off or they have an opportunity, but they never stop working."},{"startTime":748.18,"endTime":750.14,"body":"And I think that's where it can kind of get glazed."},{"startTime":750.14,"endTime":752.1,"body":"You know, I don't know."},{"startTime":752.1,"endTime":757.86,"body":"We like to idolize this American dream of, oh, just fame happens."},{"startTime":757.86,"endTime":760.14,"body":"And no, work happens."},{"startTime":760.14,"endTime":761.78,"body":"And then fame can be a result."},{"startTime":762.78,"endTime":767.06,"body":"Fact, or as my daughters say, facts."},{"startTime":767.06,"endTime":768.06,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":768.06,"endTime":771.42,"body":"Yeah, it's a whole lot of work."},{"startTime":771.42,"endTime":775.46,"body":"And there's so many stories out there we never hear about."},{"startTime":775.46,"endTime":777.14,"body":"And they don't make the press."},{"startTime":777.14,"endTime":785.06,"body":"And that's where somehow saluting that, because that is where most of us fall."},{"startTime":785.06,"endTime":786.78,"body":"And it just takes a lot of work."},{"startTime":786.78,"endTime":790.78,"body":"And we keep working to be able to add tremendous value"},{"startTime":790.78,"endTime":794.54,"body":"in the sphere of life in which we are at."},{"startTime":794.54,"endTime":802.72,"body":"And so this is a good segue into the topic at hand for the day, which is ego management."},{"startTime":802.72,"endTime":810.1,"body":"How do we manage our sense of confidence in ourself in healthy ways?"},{"startTime":810.1,"endTime":812.46,"body":"And I'll just kind of start us off here."},{"startTime":812.46,"endTime":814.6,"body":"This ego management idea."},{"startTime":814.6,"endTime":819.9,"body":"And every once in a while, somebody will ask, what do you mean by ego management?"},{"startTime":819.9,"endTime":821.66,"body":"What is that all about?"},{"startTime":821.66,"endTime":829.46,"body":"And I'll often describe and define ego management as the balancing of your own sense of confidence"},{"startTime":829.46,"endTime":837.66,"body":"so that you are able to be secure enough in your own voice that you don't hide it."},{"startTime":837.66,"endTime":844.0,"body":"But you also don't use your own voice to stomp out the voice of others."},{"startTime":844.0,"endTime":852.14,"body":"And so it's that middle ground to be able to advocate for yourself without squashing,"},{"startTime":852.14,"endTime":862.52,"body":"that's a strong term, but putting people down, especially as a person or their ideas in unhelpful"},{"startTime":862.52,"endTime":864.14,"body":"or unhealthy ways."},{"startTime":864.14,"endTime":867.02,"body":"Peter, what would you add to that?"},{"startTime":867.02,"endTime":872.56,"body":"I think it's a helpful way to look at it because it's recognizing things in relation to our"},{"startTime":872.56,"endTime":875.02,"body":"interactions with others."},{"startTime":875.02,"endTime":878.6,"body":"And it's owning the reality that we all have egos."},{"startTime":878.6,"endTime":880.08,"body":"We need them."},{"startTime":880.08,"endTime":882.46,"body":"They serve a function."},{"startTime":882.46,"endTime":886.36,"body":"I think we can dive into that function a little bit more."},{"startTime":886.36,"endTime":894.34,"body":"But to really help look at what we mean by ego management, it's intentional humility,"},{"startTime":894.34,"endTime":896.36,"body":"I think is a good way to put it."},{"startTime":896.36,"endTime":900.62,"body":"In which we've known people who are just, and we're not talking about being just meek"},{"startTime":900.62,"endTime":902.82,"body":"and submissive and all that."},{"startTime":902.82,"endTime":906.6,"body":"It's recognizing we don't know everything."},{"startTime":906.6,"endTime":908.68,"body":"We can't know everything."},{"startTime":908.68,"endTime":913.44,"body":"And it's being open to those ideas that, hey, somebody might be able to do something better"},{"startTime":913.44,"endTime":914.44,"body":"than us."},{"startTime":914.44,"endTime":920.92,"body":"But yet we can have confidence in the experiences we've had in the past so that we can advocate"},{"startTime":920.92,"endTime":928.36,"body":"for our own opinions while still being intentionally humble about those."},{"startTime":928.36,"endTime":932.9,"body":"And so that I think leads to how do we begin to build this?"},{"startTime":932.9,"endTime":934.6,"body":"How do we recognize?"},{"startTime":934.6,"endTime":941.54,"body":"What are some of those indications where that ego might be too strong?"},{"startTime":941.54,"endTime":948.22,"body":"And that's where in the press or common stories, that's usually I think where we go."},{"startTime":948.22,"endTime":950.62,"body":"Where the ego is too strong."},{"startTime":950.62,"endTime":952.86,"body":"And so the ego kind of dominates."},{"startTime":952.86,"endTime":956.86,"body":"We have expressions of that guy's ego was so big"},{"startTime":956.86,"endTime":959.66,"body":"he could barely even fit inside the room."},{"startTime":959.66,"endTime":961.7,"body":"You know, those kinds of things."},{"startTime":961.7,"endTime":962.7,"body":"And yet-"},{"startTime":962.7,"endTime":965.7,"body":"You have to say it with that voice."},{"startTime":965.7,"endTime":966.78,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":966.78,"endTime":973.42,"body":"And yet I also want to point out that the opposite can be just as challenging."},{"startTime":973.42,"endTime":980.5,"body":"When somebody has dialed down their own voice, their own ego so much, they are so completely"},{"startTime":980.5,"endTime":987.5,"body":"passive and they withdraw and they let others walk over them"},{"startTime":987.5,"endTime":990.5,"body":"and negate what they could provide."},{"startTime":990.5,"endTime":997.8,"body":"And that is equally destructive because it prevents the creative juices, the creative"},{"startTime":997.8,"endTime":1002.18,"body":"contribution from being able to flourish that we each have."},{"startTime":1002.18,"endTime":1006.78,"body":"So again, it's this balancing act of finding in the middle."},{"startTime":1006.78,"endTime":1012.34,"body":"And it's hard because as a leader, especially as you get promoted and you get elevated to"},{"startTime":1012.34,"endTime":1017.6,"body":"higher and higher levels of leadership, people will listen to you."},{"startTime":1017.6,"endTime":1025.44,"body":"And when you move, when you shift, when you frown, when you smile, when you say something,"},{"startTime":1025.44,"endTime":1032.34,"body":"the world kind of stops and looks at you and they will interpret and they will take messages."},{"startTime":1032.34,"endTime":1038.32,"body":"And it's hard after a while of that to not get used to it and to somehow then take it"},{"startTime":1038.32,"endTime":1043.14,"body":"internally and go, \"Yeah, I am all of that."},{"startTime":1043.14,"endTime":1044.14,"body":"I-"},{"startTime":1044.14,"endTime":1045.14,"body":"It's all me."},{"startTime":1045.14,"endTime":1046.14,"body":"Oh.\""},{"startTime":1046.14,"endTime":1052.5,"body":"It's hard to balance and keep that intentional focused humility of that balance of,"},{"startTime":1046.14,"endTime":1057.06,"body":"\"Yes, I have confidence, but oh, I need to listen to others as well.\""},{"startTime":1057.06,"endTime":1058.38,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1058.38,"endTime":1063.74,"body":"And to just pull on that thread a little bit more, most people are promoted because they're"},{"startTime":1063.74,"endTime":1066.3,"body":"good at what they do."},{"startTime":1066.3,"endTime":1072.54,"body":"Typically, people who are struggling are not given additional responsibilities."},{"startTime":1072.54,"endTime":1074.82,"body":"And so you're promoted because you've been doing things well."},{"startTime":1074.82,"endTime":1078.86,"body":"So you get a new opportunity and you tend, you're, \"Okay, I'm doing well here."},{"startTime":1078.86,"endTime":1080.22,"body":"Now I get more opportunities.\""},{"startTime":1080.22,"endTime":1085.54,"body":"And it expands and expands and you start drinking your own Kool-Aid and thinking,"},{"startTime":1080.22,"endTime":1090.46,"body":"\"Yes, I'm that and I'm special and I have a history of being right."},{"startTime":1090.46,"endTime":1093.78,"body":"And I'm right more often than I'm wrong.\""},{"startTime":1093.78,"endTime":1100.58,"body":"And it's how do you continue to keep that humility so that you recognize,"},{"startTime":1093.78,"endTime":1102.46,"body":"\"All right, you might not be right.\""},{"startTime":1102.46,"endTime":1108.1,"body":"Or you have identified solution A because that's the way your brain's working, but are"},{"startTime":1108.1,"endTime":1113.46,"body":"you open to solution B and C, which might actually be better solutions"},{"startTime":1108.1,"endTime":1114.46,"body":"for a variety of reasons."},{"startTime":1114.46,"endTime":1115.46,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1115.46,"endTime":1120.06,"body":"So that's one on that leader front, but then you're playing on the other side of it of"},{"startTime":1120.06,"endTime":1124.06,"body":"those who have tried to voice their opinions."},{"startTime":1124.06,"endTime":1130.3,"body":"They've tried to share their thoughts and the response that they've received, they've"},{"startTime":1130.3,"endTime":1133.66,"body":"interpreted as, \"Well, nobody's going to listen to me."},{"startTime":1133.66,"endTime":1134.66,"body":"I don't have an idea."},{"startTime":1134.66,"endTime":1135.9,"body":"They're not listening to that."},{"startTime":1135.9,"endTime":1139.66,"body":"So I'm just going to shut up and sit here.\""},{"startTime":1139.66,"endTime":1141.54,"body":"And that's the opposite end."},{"startTime":1142.42,"endTime":1148.7,"body":"Both, I think, are problematic on a team in the workforce because"},{"startTime":1142.42,"endTime":1150.18,"body":"we need the opinions of others."},{"startTime":1150.18,"endTime":1152.58,"body":"We need their perspectives."},{"startTime":1152.58,"endTime":1159.22,"body":"They're here and in the professional world, we are paying people to be there."},{"startTime":1159.22,"endTime":1162.22,"body":"And we want not only just their hands and their feet,"},{"startTime":1162.22,"endTime":1165.22,"body":"but we want their hearts and their minds."},{"startTime":1166.18,"endTime":1171.66,"body":"So oftentimes when we talk about ego management in a one-on-one coaching session or with"},{"startTime":1171.66,"endTime":1177.3,"body":"leaders in different workshops or programs, we'll mention lobsters."},{"startTime":1177.3,"endTime":1179.16,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1179.16,"endTime":1184.16,"body":"So Peter, give us a sense as to why the heck we talk about lobsters"},{"startTime":1184.16,"endTime":1186.14,"body":"when we talk about egos."},{"startTime":1186.14,"endTime":1188.14,"body":"Well, isn't it a natural fit?"},{"startTime":1188.7,"endTime":1191.66,"body":"I mean, I think everybody sees the connection."},{"startTime":1191.66,"endTime":1198.58,"body":"I think lobsters, so there's a powerful story from nature about lobsters."},{"startTime":1198.58,"endTime":1203.78,"body":"And as we've been doing trainings across the world and in China in particular,"},{"startTime":1198.58,"endTime":1204.78,"body":"this story resonated."},{"startTime":1204.78,"endTime":1210.42,"body":"And I remember learning to say lobster in Chinese of long xia."},{"startTime":1210.42,"endTime":1213.58,"body":"Long xia, and I'm probably butchering it, admittedly."},{"startTime":1213.58,"endTime":1217.18,"body":"Long means dragon and xia means shrimp."},{"startTime":1217.18,"endTime":1224.26,"body":"So literally, lobster means dragon shrimp, which is just a very powerful, I think a very"},{"startTime":1224.26,"endTime":1226.38,"body":"appropriate name for a lobster."},{"startTime":1226.38,"endTime":1228.22,"body":"But anyway, back to the lobster."},{"startTime":1228.22,"endTime":1233.66,"body":"As we think about a lobster and its life cycle, as we learn from eighth grade biology or whenever"},{"startTime":1233.66,"endTime":1237.58,"body":"it is that we're learning it, they don't have an internal skeleton."},{"startTime":1237.58,"endTime":1243.9,"body":"They have an external skeleton, that hard shell that helps to protect their insides,"},{"startTime":1243.9,"endTime":1244.96,"body":"their body."},{"startTime":1244.96,"endTime":1251.78,"body":"And as that lobster grows, there are points in its life where the inside starts to get"},{"startTime":1251.78,"endTime":1254.22,"body":"too large for its shell."},{"startTime":1254.22,"endTime":1255.46,"body":"And it has a choice."},{"startTime":1255.46,"endTime":1260.26,"body":"Well, do I grow or is my growth stunted?"},{"startTime":1260.26,"endTime":1266.74,"body":"It chooses life, but it recognizes that as it sheds that outer shell, there's not this"},{"startTime":1266.74,"endTime":1269.5,"body":"brand new hard shell underneath."},{"startTime":1269.5,"endTime":1274.18,"body":"So the lobster finds a safe place in the rocks or wherever it might be away from predators."},{"startTime":1274.18,"endTime":1276.0,"body":"It sheds that shell."},{"startTime":1276.0,"endTime":1281.0,"body":"And that new soft shell is going to take a little while to harden up."},{"startTime":1281.0,"endTime":1287.06,"body":"And it's that period of vulnerability that is absolutely critical for the lobster's growth."},{"startTime":1287.06,"endTime":1292.42,"body":"And as we start to make that analogy to ourselves for our own personal growth."},{"startTime":1292.42,"endTime":1301.54,"body":"And so we ask, when we are trying to develop, how are we intentionally and willingly shedding"},{"startTime":1301.54,"endTime":1302.54,"body":"our shell?"},{"startTime":1302.54,"endTime":1305.46,"body":"We'll say the shell is like our ego."},{"startTime":1305.46,"endTime":1307.36,"body":"It's that resilience factor."},{"startTime":1307.36,"endTime":1312.3,"body":"It's that side of us that allows us to bounce back after we've had a tough day."},{"startTime":1312.3,"endTime":1314.7,"body":"You know, we've gotten some really negative feedback."},{"startTime":1314.7,"endTime":1318.3,"body":"You know, somebody shot down an idea, whatever it might be."},{"startTime":1318.3,"endTime":1320.98,"body":"It doesn't just penetrate us to the core."},{"startTime":1320.98,"endTime":1322.94,"body":"A part of that bounces off."},{"startTime":1322.94,"endTime":1324.66,"body":"That's because of the ego."},{"startTime":1324.66,"endTime":1329.56,"body":"But we have to make sure that ego is not so thick and so strong that it's hampering our"},{"startTime":1329.56,"endTime":1331.88,"body":"ability to actually grow."},{"startTime":1331.88,"endTime":1335.8,"body":"So we need to intentionally open that up to shed it at times."},{"startTime":1335.8,"endTime":1340.7,"body":"So that's how we can learn a little bit from the lobster for our own growth."},{"startTime":1340.7,"endTime":1342.08,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1342.08,"endTime":1348.34,"body":"The antidote to ego management in many ways is vulnerability."},{"startTime":1348.34,"endTime":1356.3,"body":"And our ability to be willing to be open and to challenge ourselves, to shed our skin,"},{"startTime":1356.3,"endTime":1360.74,"body":"our shell, to learn something new."},{"startTime":1360.74,"endTime":1365.22,"body":"And what really stands out is those lobsters, when they shed that shell, they got to go"},{"startTime":1365.22,"endTime":1369.7,"body":"find some place safe for a time."},{"startTime":1369.7,"endTime":1376.98,"body":"And what I find so often is we tend to put up even a stronger shell, a stronger ego,"},{"startTime":1376.98,"endTime":1384.7,"body":"a thicker ego when we are not secure in the situation where we don't feel as safe."},{"startTime":1384.7,"endTime":1391.88,"body":"And so that's a checkpoint, a reflective kind of self-check question to ask, where are my"},{"startTime":1391.88,"endTime":1395.38,"body":"safe places as a leader?"},{"startTime":1395.38,"endTime":1398.62,"body":"Where can I let go of my shell a little?"},{"startTime":1398.62,"endTime":1399.98,"body":"How can I grow?"},{"startTime":1399.98,"endTime":1402.72,"body":"How can I become vulnerable?"},{"startTime":1402.72,"endTime":1407.22,"body":"How many places are there, especially in the workplace?"},{"startTime":1407.22,"endTime":1414.5,"body":"And it's going to be challenging if you reflect and say, where are the safe places in my workplace"},{"startTime":1414.5,"endTime":1418.38,"body":"for me if there is not a good answer?"},{"startTime":1418.38,"endTime":1420.06,"body":"Hardly any."},{"startTime":1420.06,"endTime":1424.9,"body":"Versus actually with this person and this situation or this team, I can be open, I can"},{"startTime":1424.9,"endTime":1426.9,"body":"be candid."},{"startTime":1426.9,"endTime":1428.98,"body":"And that's a challenging place."},{"startTime":1428.98,"endTime":1431.78,"body":"So that's something for us to all think about."},{"startTime":1431.78,"endTime":1433.06,"body":"Where are those safe places?"},{"startTime":1433.06,"endTime":1441.14,"body":"Hence, we are all trying to create psychologically safe cultures and teams where we can be and"},{"startTime":1441.14,"endTime":1448.38,"body":"express ourself in a way that is helpful to the overall mission and focus while honoring"},{"startTime":1448.38,"endTime":1452.9,"body":"the strengths that we bring and not negating them."},{"startTime":1452.9,"endTime":1456.9,"body":"These are all critical in helping us be vulnerable so that"},{"startTime":1456.9,"endTime":1460.1,"body":"we can be on the constant path of learning."},{"startTime":1460.1,"endTime":1464.78,"body":"And so much of this vulnerability is connected to the ability to learn."},{"startTime":1464.78,"endTime":1469.5,"body":"Because if you're thinking, you're all that and a bag of chips, you're like, why do I need"},{"startTime":1469.5,"endTime":1470.5,"body":"to learn anything?"},{"startTime":1470.5,"endTime":1473.06,"body":"I'm smart. Ha! Deal with it."},{"startTime":1473.06,"endTime":1474.9,"body":"I have all the great ideas."},{"startTime":1474.9,"endTime":1475.9,"body":"And you know what?"},{"startTime":1475.9,"endTime":1480.02,"body":"I'll even take credit for your idea because eventually, actually, it really came from"},{"startTime":1480.02,"endTime":1481.9,"body":"me in some way, I'm sure."},{"startTime":1481.9,"endTime":1485.14,"body":"You know, that is whacked out thinking."},{"startTime":1485.14,"endTime":1493.58,"body":"And that really can come from so much adaptation of feeling I need to protect myself versus,"},{"startTime":1493.58,"endTime":1497.7,"body":"hey, I want to help bring people with me."},{"startTime":1497.7,"endTime":1499.74,"body":"And it's not just about me."},{"startTime":1499.74,"endTime":1501.9,"body":"It's about more than me."},{"startTime":1501.9,"endTime":1504.74,"body":"And that's a vulnerable kind of thought."},{"startTime":1504.74,"endTime":1507.46,"body":"Oh, it really is a vulnerable thought."},{"startTime":1507.46,"endTime":1514.58,"body":"And it's helping to change that idea of I am viewed better or I feel better when you"},{"startTime":1514.58,"endTime":1517.02,"body":"do worse."},{"startTime":1517.02,"endTime":1520.66,"body":"Because that's at the core of that high ego mentality."},{"startTime":1520.66,"endTime":1525.98,"body":"It's we cannot collectively all be successful."},{"startTime":1525.98,"endTime":1527.26,"body":"It's no, no."},{"startTime":1527.26,"endTime":1528.98,"body":"I need to get more recognition."},{"startTime":1528.98,"endTime":1530.34,"body":"I need to get more praise."},{"startTime":1530.34,"endTime":1531.34,"body":"Why?"},{"startTime":1531.34,"endTime":1534.1,"body":"Because I'm trying to climb the ladder to get to this next level and to this next."},{"startTime":1534.1,"endTime":1539.98,"body":"So in that process, I have to make sure I succeed while you flounder or I push you down"},{"startTime":1539.98,"endTime":1547.62,"body":"because I don't want you taking over my stop, my role or getting in my way."},{"startTime":1547.62,"endTime":1551.94,"body":"And I think that's a situation of survival."},{"startTime":1551.94,"endTime":1555.18,"body":"It's a very primal concept."},{"startTime":1555.18,"endTime":1558.9,"body":"And I think it can work in certain philosophies in certain areas."},{"startTime":1558.9,"endTime":1563.82,"body":"It just doesn't work very well in the workplace of today."},{"startTime":1563.82,"endTime":1570.74,"body":"This all or nothing mentality, you said it well in terms of kind of a primal, more traditional,"},{"startTime":1570.74,"endTime":1572.82,"body":"more basic level."},{"startTime":1572.82,"endTime":1574.42,"body":"And it's neither good nor bad."},{"startTime":1574.42,"endTime":1577.14,"body":"We all need it in certain circumstances."},{"startTime":1577.14,"endTime":1580.74,"body":"It's helped all of us, our species survive."},{"startTime":1580.74,"endTime":1585.46,"body":"Yes, so that we can then keep moving."},{"startTime":1585.46,"endTime":1591.74,"body":"However, as we advance up to higher levels to build stronger relationships with others,"},{"startTime":1591.74,"endTime":1598.02,"body":"to do knowledge work, to be able to then think through challenging things, to be able to"},{"startTime":1598.02,"endTime":1604.76,"body":"then try to conquer complex, uncertain situations."},{"startTime":1604.76,"endTime":1610.5,"body":"Sometimes the all or nothing mentality is not going to get us there."},{"startTime":1610.5,"endTime":1612.8,"body":"It is going to stunt innovation."},{"startTime":1612.8,"endTime":1619.86,"body":"It's going to stunt different ways of trying things that are new and for us to learn."},{"startTime":1619.86,"endTime":1628.2,"body":"And instead, shifting from that all or nothing or zero sum game to actually, we can all win."},{"startTime":1628.2,"endTime":1630.02,"body":"We can all advance."},{"startTime":1630.02,"endTime":1636.86,"body":"There's not a scarcity in terms of what that may prevent us from getting."},{"startTime":1636.86,"endTime":1643.7,"body":"And that is such a different way of viewing things, especially, and this is to me, one"},{"startTime":1643.7,"endTime":1646.98,"body":"of these dualities that we ever have present."},{"startTime":1646.98,"endTime":1648.82,"body":"We want to win."},{"startTime":1648.82,"endTime":1649.82,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1649.82,"endTime":1657.4,"body":"However, how can we view that winning so that not everybody else needs to lose at the exact"},{"startTime":1657.4,"endTime":1659.1,"body":"same time?"},{"startTime":1659.1,"endTime":1661.14,"body":"And that's a very different mentality."},{"startTime":1661.14,"endTime":1666.38,"body":"And it really comes down to how we view ourselves and how comfortable we are in being open and"},{"startTime":1666.38,"endTime":1675.78,"body":"candid, receiving feedback and moving forward and learning different things."},{"startTime":1675.78,"endTime":1681.3,"body":"So you're making me think, Daniel, as you posed a question here a few minutes ago about"},{"startTime":1681.3,"endTime":1689.06,"body":"safe places, safe places for people at work and where you can go, those vulnerable places"},{"startTime":1689.06,"endTime":1693.3,"body":"with certain people or in certain situations."},{"startTime":1693.3,"endTime":1696.9,"body":"And I'm thinking, you know, for some, maybe it's not at work."},{"startTime":1696.9,"endTime":1700.1,"body":"Maybe there isn't a place they feel safe at work."},{"startTime":1700.1,"endTime":1705.14,"body":"What if their safe place is not in the workplace, but it is outside the workplace?"},{"startTime":1705.14,"endTime":1706.14,"body":"It's at home."},{"startTime":1706.14,"endTime":1707.14,"body":"It's with friends."},{"startTime":1707.14,"endTime":1708.38,"body":"It's with other places."},{"startTime":1708.38,"endTime":1714.94,"body":"If those are the safe places, are those in some way sufficient to help get through some"},{"startTime":1714.94,"endTime":1718.88,"body":"of the challenges at work?"},{"startTime":1718.88,"endTime":1725.18,"body":"It's a great question, and you're making me remember years ago, Gallup and their Q12 set"},{"startTime":1725.18,"endTime":1729.4,"body":"of questions that they initiated several decades ago."},{"startTime":1729.4,"endTime":1735.36,"body":"And for folks who may not be as familiar with this, Q12 was 12 questions that Gallup had"},{"startTime":1735.36,"endTime":1743.14,"body":"created, the Gallup organization, that they identified measured engagement."},{"startTime":1743.14,"endTime":1748.68,"body":"Since then, there is lots of variations, but these Q12 have been very influential."},{"startTime":1748.68,"endTime":1755.28,"body":"One of those questions that always just kind of struck people, often made them kind of"},{"startTime":1755.28,"endTime":1762.98,"body":"tilt their head and said, \"Really?\" was, \"Do I have a best friend at work?\""},{"startTime":1762.98,"endTime":1768.64,"body":"And even when I first saw that question, I kind of, you know, doubted and put the cynical"},{"startTime":1768.64,"endTime":1769.64,"body":"viewpoint on it."},{"startTime":1769.64,"endTime":1771.24,"body":"So what are you talking about?"},{"startTime":1771.24,"endTime":1772.62,"body":"Best friend."},{"startTime":1772.62,"endTime":1779.12,"body":"And whether it's the best friend or a trusted friend or a colleague, in other words, where"},{"startTime":1779.12,"endTime":1781.92,"body":"do you feel safe at work?"},{"startTime":1781.92,"endTime":1784.42,"body":"And so, Peter, you raise a great question."},{"startTime":1784.42,"endTime":1787.28,"body":"Do you need to have a safe place at work?"},{"startTime":1787.28,"endTime":1795.32,"body":"And I would advocate if you're wanting to stay there for a while instead of just a short"},{"startTime":1795.32,"endTime":1799.74,"body":"time, you need a safe place at work."},{"startTime":1799.74,"endTime":1804.0,"body":"You need a safe place in each of the areas of your life."},{"startTime":1804.0,"endTime":1808.9,"body":"Otherwise, we as humans, we don't do well."},{"startTime":1808.9,"endTime":1815.16,"body":"We need some venue, some place, some place that we can feel either with certain people"},{"startTime":1815.16,"endTime":1820.72,"body":"or in a certain circumstance that we feel valued, that we can learn, that we can kind"},{"startTime":1820.72,"endTime":1825.72,"body":"of let down our hair, so to speak, so that we can then keep learning."},{"startTime":1825.72,"endTime":1831.34,"body":"And if there isn't a place at work, that is a focus."},{"startTime":1831.34,"endTime":1833.22,"body":"That's a focus to develop one."},{"startTime":1833.22,"endTime":1837.12,"body":"And you can have influence and you could actively build and strengthen."},{"startTime":1837.12,"endTime":1840.96,"body":"You should not just expect the organization to provide it to you."},{"startTime":1840.96,"endTime":1841.96,"body":"You have a say."},{"startTime":1841.96,"endTime":1843.6,"body":"You can have an influence."},{"startTime":1843.6,"endTime":1850.64,"body":"The point is, you need a safe place in any organization that you're a part of."},{"startTime":1850.64,"endTime":1857.0,"body":"Otherwise, I would imagine, I would predict you're not going to be long for that organization."},{"startTime":1857.0,"endTime":1858.0,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1858.0,"endTime":1864.4,"body":"Well, I think you lay it out very clearly and I agree with you on that front."},{"startTime":1864.4,"endTime":1869.68,"body":"You can have a safe place outside of the setting that you do not have a safe place in, and"},{"startTime":1869.68,"endTime":1876.08,"body":"those external safe places can act as a buffer, a temporary buffer while you strive to build"},{"startTime":1876.08,"endTime":1879.68,"body":"one, but it will not be the long-term solution."},{"startTime":1879.68,"endTime":1881.16,"body":"You know, we can think about this in the workplace."},{"startTime":1881.16,"endTime":1884.68,"body":"We can think about this with raising kids and going to school."},{"startTime":1884.68,"endTime":1887.24,"body":"You know, some kids, they really struggle in the school setting."},{"startTime":1887.24,"endTime":1888.24,"body":"Why?"},{"startTime":1888.24,"endTime":1889.24,"body":"Because they don't feel like they have a safe place."},{"startTime":1889.24,"endTime":1893.84,"body":"And you could have all the support at home, everything, and they still struggle in that"},{"startTime":1893.84,"endTime":1894.84,"body":"setting."},{"startTime":1894.84,"endTime":1895.84,"body":"Why?"},{"startTime":1895.84,"endTime":1896.84,"body":"Because they don't feel accepted."},{"startTime":1896.84,"endTime":1901.16,"body":"And so you strive to take measures to help them either get a new opportunity, whatever"},{"startTime":1901.16,"endTime":1902.16,"body":"it might be."},{"startTime":1902.16,"endTime":1903.16,"body":"Same in the workplace."},{"startTime":1903.16,"endTime":1904.16,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1904.16,"endTime":1908.44,"body":"And so it's making those intentional steps to get the safe place."},{"startTime":1908.44,"endTime":1914.44,"body":"And you're right, the company cannot, you know, first day of hiring, here's your badge,"},{"startTime":1914.44,"endTime":1916.44,"body":"here's your laptop, and here's your safe place."},{"startTime":1916.44,"endTime":1921.16,"body":"I mean, it's like you can't just dole it out and assign it."},{"startTime":1921.16,"endTime":1926.12,"body":"It does take some effort and some willingness to crack your shell a little bit to build"},{"startTime":1926.12,"endTime":1932.38,"body":"some of those relationships because the safe places we're talking about are not necessarily"},{"startTime":1932.38,"endTime":1934.52,"body":"physical spaces."},{"startTime":1934.52,"endTime":1936.76,"body":"They are relationships."},{"startTime":1936.76,"endTime":1941.68,"body":"The relationships you have with others in which you're able to share some of the things"},{"startTime":1941.68,"endTime":1946.88,"body":"you're worried about, share some of the things you're concerned about, you're afraid of,"},{"startTime":1946.88,"endTime":1951.16,"body":"you're struggling with, the questions you want to ask, share some of the successes you"},{"startTime":1951.16,"endTime":1956.4,"body":"feel you've had, but you don't want to brag, but you want some, you know, someone to share"},{"startTime":1956.4,"endTime":1958.72,"body":"and enjoy that excitement with you."},{"startTime":1958.72,"endTime":1961.12,"body":"Those are all signs of safe places."},{"startTime":1961.12,"endTime":1962.12,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":1963.68,"endTime":1967.52,"body":"Okay, Peter, so with all of this, here's the Lightning Round."},{"startTime":1972.52,"endTime":1980.64,"body":"What's the one thing that leaders need to keep in mind to help them manage their egos?"},{"startTime":1980.64,"endTime":1985.4,"body":"The most important thing a leader needs to do to manage their ego is to continue to be"},{"startTime":1985.4,"endTime":1988.88,"body":"aware of their ego."},{"startTime":1988.88,"endTime":1994.36,"body":"They have to recognize they've got it and they have to be intentional about listening"},{"startTime":1994.36,"endTime":1995.84,"body":"and learning."},{"startTime":1995.84,"endTime":2002.12,"body":"And before you jump back with the, \"No, that won't work,\" or \"I already know the answer,\""},{"startTime":2002.12,"endTime":2007.66,"body":"it's that self-questioning of, \"Hmm, what makes me so certain?"},{"startTime":2007.66,"endTime":2012.94,"body":"And am I open to an alternate perspective?\""},{"startTime":2012.94,"endTime":2016.24,"body":"When that happens, oh, you keep that ego in check."},{"startTime":2016.24,"endTime":2017.24,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2018.24,"endTime":2019.24,"body":"I love it."},{"startTime":2019.24,"endTime":2022.12,"body":"Do you mind if I add to that?"},{"startTime":2022.12,"endTime":2023.12,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":2023.12,"endTime":2029.08,"body":"So as I was thinking how I would answer that same question, what is the one thing a leader"},{"startTime":2029.08,"endTime":2031.6,"body":"should do to help manage their ego?"},{"startTime":2031.6,"endTime":2036.16,"body":"I would say, \"Shut up.\""},{"startTime":2036.16,"endTime":2037.84,"body":"Just shut up."},{"startTime":2037.84,"endTime":2041.68,"body":"We have such a tendency to start talking."},{"startTime":2041.68,"endTime":2046.24,"body":"And when we start talking, we have a tendency to start solving."},{"startTime":2046.24,"endTime":2050.68,"body":"And when we start solving, we have a tendency to start giving lots of advice."},{"startTime":2050.68,"endTime":2056.44,"body":"And that can sometimes lead to taking credit where it's not fully ours."},{"startTime":2056.44,"endTime":2062.6,"body":"And it just keeps on going down a path and it's focused around me."},{"startTime":2062.6,"endTime":2069.56,"body":"We need to stop and shut up, pause, and make sure we do a lot more listening."},{"startTime":2069.56,"endTime":2075.04,"body":"And not just hearing the words, but really actively listening so that we can pay attention"},{"startTime":2075.04,"endTime":2083.6,"body":"to the other person and take that in and check ourselves in the process versus, \"I'm all"},{"startTime":2083.6,"endTime":2086.88,"body":"that and a bag of chips."},{"startTime":2086.88,"endTime":2088.4,"body":"I have all the right answers."},{"startTime":2088.4,"endTime":2090.44,"body":"I'm the smart person."},{"startTime":2090.44,"endTime":2091.44,"body":"Listen to me.\""},{"startTime":2091.44,"endTime":2092.44,"body":"No."},{"startTime":2092.44,"endTime":2093.44,"body":"Shut up first."},{"startTime":2093.44,"endTime":2102.16,"body":"So anyway, that's another way of even stronger emphasizing what you were saying."},{"startTime":2102.16,"endTime":2103.16,"body":"It is."},{"startTime":2103.16,"endTime":2109.0,"body":"And then I look at on the flip side is what are the ways an individual can build their"},{"startTime":2109.0,"endTime":2115.08,"body":"ego to kind of take steps to reclaim the ego?"},{"startTime":2115.08,"endTime":2118.92,"body":"And in many ways, it's the opposite of what we were just talking about."},{"startTime":2118.92,"endTime":2124.64,"body":"Where the person with the ego that is too powerful, they tend to personalize all of"},{"startTime":2124.64,"endTime":2125.64,"body":"their success."},{"startTime":2125.64,"endTime":2129.84,"body":"It is, \"Things are successful because of me.\""},{"startTime":2129.84,"endTime":2134.52,"body":"Whereas those who have a lower ego or it's been shattered and you're trying to rebuild"},{"startTime":2134.52,"endTime":2138.12,"body":"it, typically generalize the success."},{"startTime":2138.12,"endTime":2140.48,"body":"Explain it away of, \"It's not because of me."},{"startTime":2140.48,"endTime":2142.48,"body":"It's because everybody else.\""},{"startTime":2142.48,"endTime":2147.76,"body":"And so I would say fight that notion and say, \"Wait a minute."},{"startTime":2147.76,"endTime":2153.64,"body":"Recognize the impact you personally had on that.\""},{"startTime":2153.64,"endTime":2159.6,"body":"And as negative feedback or complaints come in or things like that, don't take it so personal."},{"startTime":2159.6,"endTime":2166.12,"body":"But generalize that to allow you to focus on what are the things you are doing well"},{"startTime":2166.12,"endTime":2167.6,"body":"and you're focusing on."},{"startTime":2167.6,"endTime":2168.6,"body":"Success."},{"startTime":2168.6,"endTime":2169.6,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2169.6,"endTime":2171.16,"body":"Oh, I love it."},{"startTime":2171.16,"endTime":2172.16,"body":"Fantastic."},{"startTime":2172.16,"endTime":2178.16,"body":"Finding a safe place, reinforcing the value that you can add in healthy ways so that you"},{"startTime":2178.16,"endTime":2185.36,"body":"can maintain a strong ego that isn't too weak or too overly strong and have a confident"},{"startTime":2185.36,"endTime":2187.44,"body":"voice as a leader."},{"startTime":2187.44,"endTime":2190.48,"body":"Peter, thank you for the great conversation as usual."},{"startTime":2190.48,"endTime":2193.68,"body":"Everyone, all the listeners out there, thanks for joining us."},{"startTime":2193.68,"endTime":2199.96,"body":"Hope you can take away some great ideas and tools to help you build your ego and your"},{"startTime":2199.96,"endTime":2201.88,"body":"overall leadership ability."},{"startTime":2201.88,"endTime":2206.36,"body":"Please subscribe to us and listen to us in the future."},{"startTime":2206.36,"endTime":2211.08,"body":"We're here anytime to help you develop and strengthen your leadership ability."},{"startTime":2211.08,"endTime":2212.08,"body":"All the best."},{"startTime":2212.08,"endTime":2213.08,"body":"Take care, everyone."},{"startTime":2213.08,"endTime":2214.08,"body":"Bye."},{"startTime":2214.08,"endTime":2217.4,"body":"If you like this episode, please share it with a friend or colleague, or better yet,"},{"startTime":2217.4,"endTime":2221.2,"body":"leave a review to help other listeners find our show."},{"startTime":2221.2,"endTime":2224.76,"body":"And remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode."},{"startTime":2224.76,"endTime":2228.8,"body":"For more great content or to learn more about how Stewart Leadership can help you grow your"},{"startTime":2228.8,"endTime":2232.92,"body":"ability to lead effectively, please visit stewartleadership.com."}]}