{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.041,"endTime":0.583,"body":"(music)"},{"startTime":0.583,"endTime":2.708,"body":"Coming up on the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":2.708,"endTime":3.25,"body":"(music)"},{"startTime":4.0,"endTime":6.0,"body":"And it often comes down to,"},{"startTime":6.0,"endTime":10.125,"body":"are we able to feel like we can continue to make a difference?"},{"startTime":11.25,"endTime":12.708,"body":"Can we add value?"},{"startTime":13.666,"endTime":16.5,"body":"Can we wake up in the morning"},{"startTime":16.5,"endTime":21.791,"body":"and feel somehow validated or appreciated for what we do?"},{"startTime":22.208,"endTime":25.166,"body":"Now, this does not mean that we have to get the gold star"},{"startTime":25.166,"endTime":27.375,"body":"or the first prize trophy every day."},{"startTime":27.458,"endTime":28.041,"body":"No."},{"startTime":29.125,"endTime":32.166,"body":"It means that there needs to be some level of validation"},{"startTime":32.166,"endTime":35.875,"body":"that what we're doing in the team or organization,"},{"startTime":35.875,"endTime":37.291,"body":"people appreciate, they recognize."},{"startTime":37.416,"endTime":37.791,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":37.791,"endTime":39.791,"body":"It's a valuable contribution."},{"startTime":40.583,"endTime":44.541,"body":"And we find when people feel like they can no longer"},{"startTime":44.541,"endTime":47.041,"body":"make a valuable contribution,"},{"startTime":47.041,"endTime":49.958,"body":"that is when it starts going downhill."},{"startTime":50.75,"endTime":54.166,"body":"And people can then start self-doubting themselves."},{"startTime":54.833,"endTime":60.708,"body":"They can then start impacting their ability to actually make a difference in the future."},{"startTime":61.0,"endTime":64.5,"body":"And again, the intensity and the duration,"},{"startTime":64.5,"endTime":68.166,"body":"the frequency of these factors are also things to consider."},{"startTime":68.5,"endTime":76.208,"body":"[music]"},{"startTime":76.916,"endTime":80.416,"body":"Hello everyone and welcome to the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":80.416,"endTime":81.666,"body":"I'm your host Daniel Stewart,"},{"startTime":81.666,"endTime":83.708,"body":"joined by my brother, Peter Stewart."},{"startTime":84.5,"endTime":87.541,"body":"And we're here to talk about great tools and ideas"},{"startTime":87.541,"endTime":91.083,"body":"to help you advance and grow your leadership ability."},{"startTime":91.916,"endTime":93.958,"body":"Peter, always a pleasure to hang out with you"},{"startTime":93.958,"endTime":95.25,"body":"and do another episode here."},{"startTime":95.875,"endTime":96.833,"body":"Great to chat."},{"startTime":97.208,"endTime":99.875,"body":"It's exciting to dig into what we have to chat about today."},{"startTime":100.041,"endTime":100.708,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":101.416,"endTime":106.916,"body":"So folks, as we are all managing through challenging workplaces"},{"startTime":106.916,"endTime":109.75,"body":"and experiencing and working through"},{"startTime":109.75,"endTime":112.666,"body":"all of these potential dysfunctions in the workplace,"},{"startTime":112.666,"endTime":116.75,"body":"we're going to talk a lot about ways to manage yourself,"},{"startTime":116.75,"endTime":121.583,"body":"your team, your organization within dysfunctional workplaces."},{"startTime":121.583,"endTime":122.958,"body":"So that'll be a great topic."},{"startTime":123.416,"endTime":127.541,"body":"And so let's start off with an Insight of the Week that"},{"startTime":127.541,"endTime":130.833,"body":"actually kind of relates a little to this,"},{"startTime":130.833,"endTime":132.041,"body":"this larger topic."},{"startTime":132.291,"endTime":133.375,"body":"-Coincidentally."},{"startTime":133.916,"endTime":135.041,"body":"-Yeah, incidentally."},{"startTime":135.291,"endTime":139.333,"body":"(music)"},{"startTime":139.5,"endTime":142.416,"body":"So here's an interesting insight that I'll share."},{"startTime":142.541,"endTime":145.875,"body":"And Peter, it sounds like you have a follow-up insight"},{"startTime":145.875,"endTime":148.416,"body":"that you can add to this as well."},{"startTime":149.041,"endTime":153.416,"body":"Several weeks ago, I was learning about bison and cows."},{"startTime":154.125,"endTime":155.0,"body":"That's right."},{"startTime":155.125,"endTime":157.5,"body":"You might be like, what in the world were you doing?"},{"startTime":157.916,"endTime":160.5,"body":"Nonetheless, I was learning about bison and cows,"},{"startTime":160.5,"endTime":166.75,"body":"and I learned that a very particular unique behavior"},{"startTime":166.75,"endTime":168.291,"body":"that bison exhibit."},{"startTime":169.083,"endTime":176.666,"body":"So that as the bison are out grazing and they see a storm coming,"},{"startTime":176.666,"endTime":183.291,"body":"they actually will start heading toward the storm to go through it."},{"startTime":184.583,"endTime":189.583,"body":"Whereas cows, cattle, when they see a storm approaching,"},{"startTime":189.583,"endTime":191.958,"body":"they go the opposite direction."},{"startTime":192.375,"endTime":195.708,"body":"They are going to go away from the storm."},{"startTime":196.666,"endTime":199.458,"body":"And you sit back and you think, all right,"},{"startTime":199.458,"endTime":202.625,"body":"what would be an intuitive instinct for some of us?"},{"startTime":202.75,"endTime":205.875,"body":"And maybe for some of us, it's, oh, there's a storm coming."},{"startTime":206.291,"endTime":210.541,"body":"We're running away from this. We're going to seek shelter. We're going to get out of this."},{"startTime":211.25,"endTime":216.458,"body":"That's what the cows try to do. The bison, though, they run toward it."},{"startTime":217.0,"endTime":221.5,"body":"And the interesting reality is as you go toward the storm, you actually"},{"startTime":221.5,"endTime":226.416,"body":"will experience the storm for less time because you're going opposite."},{"startTime":226.708,"endTime":228.0,"body":"It's going over you."},{"startTime":228.25,"endTime":233.208,"body":"Yes, you're going to get the full brunt of it, but you're going to go into the storm"},{"startTime":233.208,"endTime":234.583,"body":"versus away from it."},{"startTime":235.291,"endTime":240.125,"body":"And so as we think of the levels of uncertainty, of fear, of distraction,"},{"startTime":240.125,"endTime":243.5,"body":"of high workload, and yes, dysfunction,"},{"startTime":243.5,"endTime":248.125,"body":"it's an interesting idea to look at and say, okay,"},{"startTime":248.125,"endTime":254.291,"body":"how, if I was a confident, proactive person"},{"startTime":254.291,"endTime":257.333,"body":"in terms of how I'm responding to the situation"},{"startTime":257.333,"endTime":260.833,"body":"and go toward the storm, what would that look like?"},{"startTime":261.375,"endTime":265.375,"body":"How would that benefit me versus going away from it"},{"startTime":265.375,"endTime":268.291,"body":"in that more passive or reactive approach?"},{"startTime":269.416,"endTime":271.416,"body":"Peter, what would you add to this?"},{"startTime":272.625,"endTime":274.541,"body":"- Yeah, I think it's such a helpful analogy"},{"startTime":274.541,"endTime":276.791,"body":"as you think about the nature"},{"startTime":276.791,"endTime":280.458,"body":"and the reaction each of us has to, okay, is a storm coming?"},{"startTime":280.458,"endTime":281.083,"body":"What do we do?"},{"startTime":281.875,"endTime":285.625,"body":"And to think, huh, when are we acting like a bison"},{"startTime":285.625,"endTime":286.458,"body":"and going toward it?"},{"startTime":287.125,"endTime":288.708,"body":"Trying to just, okay, head down."},{"startTime":289.333,"endTime":291.958,"body":"Admittedly, we're gonna get drenched."},{"startTime":292.291,"endTime":293.458,"body":"You know, we're gonna get hit."},{"startTime":294.041,"endTime":297.833,"body":"It's gonna be rough, but let's head toward it"},{"startTime":297.833,"endTime":300.416,"body":"to get through it as quick as we can,"},{"startTime":300.416,"endTime":301.416,"body":"is a way to look at it."},{"startTime":301.791,"endTime":305.208,"body":"It reminds me, as you think about how surfers,"},{"startTime":305.208,"endTime":309.5,"body":"and even as we'd be out, you know, growing up and out boogie boarding in the ocean,"},{"startTime":309.5,"endTime":312.458,"body":"you know, in the waves, as you're trying to get out farther and farther,"},{"startTime":312.458,"endTime":316.5,"body":"when you really are trying to get past some of those big waves, you can't just sit there"},{"startTime":316.5,"endTime":319.25,"body":"on top of the water as the wave comes."},{"startTime":319.25,"endTime":322.5,"body":"Otherwise it's going to continue to take you toward the shore."},{"startTime":323.166,"endTime":326.833,"body":"You know, the best way to handle those larger waves as you're getting past them"},{"startTime":326.833,"endTime":328.375,"body":"is to really dive into them."},{"startTime":329.0,"endTime":335.166,"body":"You know, you swim under that wave because then you're able to go against"},{"startTime":335.166,"endTime":337.041,"body":"that force toward the shore,"},{"startTime":337.041,"endTime":340.416,"body":"because you're trying to get out to catch the big ones to then ride in,"},{"startTime":340.416,"endTime":342.041,"body":"-Mm hmm"},{"startTime":340.416,"endTime":342.041,"body":"-which is a lot more fun."},{"startTime":342.75,"endTime":346.625,"body":"So I think it's a similar perspective of how we are viewing adversity,"},{"startTime":346.625,"endTime":348.833,"body":"how we're viewing challenges,"},{"startTime":348.833,"endTime":351.708,"body":"how we're viewing those storms of life that are coming ahead."},{"startTime":352.25,"endTime":356.208,"body":"Are we taking that proactive or more reactive approach to it?"},{"startTime":356.875,"endTime":359.833,"body":"And there may be times where both are necessary."},{"startTime":360.166,"endTime":361.75,"body":"We want to consider that."},{"startTime":360.166,"endTime":361.75,"body":"-Right."},{"startTime":361.75,"endTime":364.416,"body":"We're not saying always go head first into it,"},{"startTime":364.416,"endTime":369.291,"body":"but it's recognizing what's our tendency and are we overusing one of those methods."},{"startTime":369.791,"endTime":371.791,"body":"Sometimes it may be good to act like a cow,"},{"startTime":371.791,"endTime":374.5,"body":"but how often are we really acting like that bison?"},{"startTime":374.916,"endTime":377.583,"body":"And maybe we need to utilize that and flex that a little bit more."},{"startTime":377.833,"endTime":380.458,"body":"-And what I really like what you're bringing up here is"},{"startTime":380.458,"endTime":383.375,"body":"neither approach is inherently good or bad necessarily."},{"startTime":383.75,"endTime":385.458,"body":"-They both... they're both around."},{"startTime":385.458,"endTime":387.583,"body":"Bison and cows, they survive, you know?"},{"startTime":387.583,"endTime":388.833,"body":"(laughing)"},{"startTime":388.833,"endTime":391.708,"body":"-That's true. Correct. They both have survived."},{"startTime":392.0,"endTime":397.791,"body":"It's simply a matter of how they choose to experience the upcoming challenge,"},{"startTime":397.791,"endTime":403.125,"body":"which is actually one of the main themes we want to emphasize here today,"},{"startTime":403.125,"endTime":405.875,"body":"as we now kind of segue into"},{"startTime":405.875,"endTime":412.916,"body":"how do we manage through and amid and during dysfunctional workplaces?"},{"startTime":413.5,"endTime":420.25,"body":"Because too often we find ourselves, we the collective we,"},{"startTime":420.25,"endTime":422.583,"body":"within a challenging circumstance."},{"startTime":422.583,"endTime":425.0,"body":"And whether that's because our boss is nuts"},{"startTime":425.0,"endTime":425.958,"body":"(laughing)"},{"startTime":425.958,"endTime":428.75,"body":"or the environment is just crazy,"},{"startTime":428.75,"endTime":433.708,"body":"whatever it is, when we are in this dysfunctional situation,"},{"startTime":433.708,"endTime":439.458,"body":"one of the first things to remember is that we always have choices."},{"startTime":439.833,"endTime":440.25,"body":"-Mm hmm."},{"startTime":440.5,"endTime":442.916,"body":"And it's remarkable as humans"},{"startTime":442.916,"endTime":447.666,"body":"when we get stressed, when we feel like things are out to get us"},{"startTime":447.666,"endTime":450.916,"body":"or we don't feel safe for any reason,"},{"startTime":450.916,"endTime":454.833,"body":"we can suddenly get into this place where"},{"startTime":454.833,"endTime":459.625,"body":"we think we do not have as many options as we maybe actually do."},{"startTime":460.291,"endTime":466.291,"body":"And we start to narrow our focus and we think, \"Oh, we either have to do one or two,"},{"startTime":466.291,"endTime":474.625,"body":"A or B, X or Y,” or sometimes not even that, it's A or it's B or it's X or it's Y option."},{"startTime":475.375,"endTime":481.5,"body":"And instead sitting back and saying, wait a minute, what really are my choices?"},{"startTime":482.125,"endTime":485.125,"body":"What are my physical choices? What are my mental choices?"},{"startTime":485.125,"endTime":486.916,"body":"What are my emotional choices?"},{"startTime":487.625,"endTime":493.666,"body":"We have far more choice than sometimes we give ourselves credit for."},{"startTime":494.083,"endTime":497.333,"body":"As we're seeing the storms approach"},{"startTime":497.333,"endTime":499.375,"body":"and as we're in the middle of them."},{"startTime":499.75,"endTime":502.833,"body":"-Yeah, it's true as we think about this scenario"},{"startTime":502.833,"endTime":506.833,"body":"of keeping our options open, assessing those"},{"startTime":506.833,"endTime":509.166,"body":"amongst dysfunctional situations."},{"startTime":509.166,"endTime":512.541,"body":"And I think even as we dive into working through"},{"startTime":512.541,"endTime":515.708,"body":"what are skills, what are some coping skills, ways in which we're able to"},{"startTime":515.708,"endTime":519.458,"body":"manage these dysfunctions, let's kind of talk about what a dysfunctional"},{"startTime":519.458,"endTime":522.333,"body":"workplace is, like what we really mean by that."},{"startTime":522.75,"endTime":525.416,"body":"Because everybody's going to find stress,"},{"startTime":525.416,"endTime":526.875,"body":"you know, in a work environment."},{"startTime":525.416,"endTime":526.875,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":527.458,"endTime":529.625,"body":"And the real difference between"},{"startTime":529.625,"endTime":534.583,"body":"a challenging or even a difficult or a stressful workplace environment"},{"startTime":534.583,"endTime":539.791,"body":"as opposed to a dysfunctional one is really the frequency and the intensity"},{"startTime":539.791,"endTime":542.666,"body":"and the chronic nature of the challenges."},{"startTime":543.166,"endTime":545.166,"body":"You know, it's just not just, \"Oh, every once in a while"},{"startTime":545.166,"endTime":546.791,"body":"someone comes in and has a bad day"},{"startTime":546.791,"endTime":548.041,"body":"and they're yelling at somebody.\""},{"startTime":548.458,"endTime":550.625,"body":"It's like, okay, yeah, that happens."},{"startTime":551.0,"endTime":554.0,"body":"We're talking about chronic patterns of behavior"},{"startTime":554.0,"endTime":557.208,"body":"which are more the norm than the exception,"},{"startTime":557.208,"endTime":560.0,"body":"in which it could, you know, very much it's,"},{"startTime":560.0,"endTime":563.916,"body":"it could be politics, it could be just the culture of the environment,"},{"startTime":563.916,"endTime":567.041,"body":"it could be particular individuals and the demands,"},{"startTime":567.041,"endTime":570.916,"body":"it could be the... just the fluctuations in the changes"},{"startTime":570.916,"endTime":574.541,"body":"that are happening in which just creates an environment where it's unpredictable."},{"startTime":575.041,"endTime":577.541,"body":"And that's hard to know, well how am I..."},{"startTime":577.541,"endTime":579.916,"body":"what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to manage?"},{"startTime":579.916,"endTime":583.5,"body":"And, you know, you keep moving the goalposts on me every single day."},{"startTime":583.833,"endTime":586.833,"body":"And it doesn't matter what I do, whether I try or not,"},{"startTime":586.833,"endTime":587.875,"body":"I'm not making progress."},{"startTime":588.791,"endTime":592.25,"body":"And that would be an example of a dysfunctional environment."},{"startTime":592.791,"endTime":596.083,"body":"But the beauty of all of these kind of skills or techniques"},{"startTime":596.083,"endTime":599.625,"body":"or tips to get through a dysfunctional environment,"},{"startTime":599.625,"endTime":603.291,"body":"they also help with those more acute challenging situations."},{"startTime":604.541,"endTime":607.041,"body":"So I think it's good to clarify,"},{"startTime":607.041,"endTime":609.583,"body":"we're talking about really chronic dysfunction."},{"startTime":610.666,"endTime":613.416,"body":"But if you're like sitting here wondering,"},{"startTime":613.416,"endTime":615.75,"body":"am I in a chronic dysfunctional work environment"},{"startTime":615.75,"endTime":617.5,"body":"or am I just really stressed right now?"},{"startTime":618.833,"endTime":620.541,"body":"Yeah, you could dig into that more,"},{"startTime":620.541,"endTime":623.083,"body":"but odds are these are gonna help you in both scenarios."},{"startTime":624.083,"endTime":624.791,"body":"- Yeah, that's a good point."},{"startTime":624.916,"endTime":628.791,"body":"And this intensity and frequency"},{"startTime":628.791,"endTime":632.083,"body":"and then how it's also impacting you,"},{"startTime":632.083,"endTime":634.291,"body":"'cause that is also a factor"},{"startTime":634.291,"endTime":638.125,"body":"'cause we've been in various circumstances"},{"startTime":638.125,"endTime":640.0,"body":"and any of us have been."},{"startTime":640.083,"endTime":645.333,"body":"And for some folks, the situation is untenable."},{"startTime":646.291,"endTime":649.583,"body":"And for others, somehow they're able to reframe it"},{"startTime":649.583,"endTime":652.458,"body":"or they see it differently in some ways"},{"startTime":652.458,"endTime":655.416,"body":"and they're able to perform and be okay."},{"startTime":655.833,"endTime":658.583,"body":"So it's this, how this reacts to us."},{"startTime":659.208,"endTime":661.333,"body":"And it often comes down to,"},{"startTime":661.333,"endTime":664.375,"body":"are we able to feel like we can continue"},{"startTime":664.375,"endTime":665.5,"body":"to make a difference?"},{"startTime":666.5,"endTime":668.041,"body":"Can we add value?"},{"startTime":668.958,"endTime":674.416,"body":"Can we wake up in the morning and feel somehow validated"},{"startTime":674.416,"endTime":677.083,"body":"or appreciated for what we do?"},{"startTime":677.541,"endTime":680.541,"body":"Now, this does not mean that we have to get the gold star"},{"startTime":680.541,"endTime":683.25,"body":"or the first prize trophy every day, no."},{"startTime":684.541,"endTime":687.5,"body":"It means that there needs to be some level of validation"},{"startTime":687.5,"endTime":691.166,"body":"that what we're doing in the team or organization,"},{"startTime":691.166,"endTime":692.75,"body":"people appreciate, they recognize."},{"startTime":692.75,"endTime":693.166,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":693.166,"endTime":695.125,"body":"It's a valuable contribution."},{"startTime":695.833,"endTime":702.375,"body":"And we find when people feel like they can no longer make a valuable contribution,"},{"startTime":702.375,"endTime":705.166,"body":"that is when it starts going downhill."},{"startTime":706.083,"endTime":709.5,"body":"And people can then start self-doubting themselves."},{"startTime":710.166,"endTime":716.041,"body":"They can then start impacting their ability to actually make a difference in the future."},{"startTime":716.5,"endTime":719.833,"body":"And again, the intensity and the duration,"},{"startTime":719.833,"endTime":723.5,"body":"the frequency of these factors are also things to consider."},{"startTime":725.0,"endTime":728.125,"body":"And you're bringing up my favorite three variables to track"},{"startTime":728.125,"endTime":729.416,"body":"as you're looking at all behaviors."},{"startTime":729.416,"endTime":731.625,"body":"And this goes back to my training as a psychologist,"},{"startTime":731.625,"endTime":733.833,"body":"as we're working with therapists,"},{"startTime":733.833,"endTime":737.125,"body":"everybody reporting symptoms or challenges or struggles."},{"startTime":737.583,"endTime":741.166,"body":"You monitor the intensity of what they're experiencing,"},{"startTime":741.166,"endTime":744.208,"body":"the frequency, how often things are occurring,"},{"startTime":744.208,"endTime":746.416,"body":"and the duration, when they occur, how long they last."},{"startTime":746.833,"endTime":749.291,"body":"And it's just a really helpful framework"},{"startTime":749.291,"endTime":751.833,"body":"as we're assessing our environment and things around us."},{"startTime":752.583,"endTime":756.291,"body":"And so as we're looking at trying to keep the options open"},{"startTime":756.291,"endTime":758.541,"body":"and assessing that situation,"},{"startTime":758.541,"endTime":761.041,"body":"I think another key thing to do is make sure"},{"startTime":761.041,"endTime":763.375,"body":"you continue to own your own reaction."},{"startTime":765.041,"endTime":767.125,"body":"You know, as my dad, oh, our dad,"},{"startTime":767.125,"endTime":767.958,"body":"(laughing)"},{"startTime":767.958,"endTime":769.791,"body":"as we talk about it,"},{"startTime":769.791,"endTime":772.583,"body":"one of the gems he always said is the true test"},{"startTime":772.583,"endTime":777.25,"body":"is how we respond to a scenario, to a situation."},{"startTime":778.125,"endTime":780.666,"body":"And that's where you're keeping those options open,"},{"startTime":780.666,"endTime":782.541,"body":"but you're having that check to say,"},{"startTime":782.541,"endTime":785.875,"body":"all right, am I just following in the pattern"},{"startTime":785.875,"endTime":788.291,"body":"that I'm having difficulty with?"},{"startTime":788.5,"endTime":790.0,"body":"Am I perpetuating this?"},{"startTime":790.375,"endTime":794.166,"body":"Or am I able to pause, to stop,"},{"startTime":794.166,"endTime":798.0,"body":"and to react in a way that's consistent with my values,"},{"startTime":798.0,"endTime":800.958,"body":"it's consistent with the way I want to come across?"},{"startTime":801.666,"endTime":803.666,"body":"And that takes some courage sometimes,"},{"startTime":803.666,"endTime":805.541,"body":"and it takes intentionality,"},{"startTime":805.541,"endTime":808.291,"body":"so that we're not just reacting"},{"startTime":808.291,"endTime":810.166,"body":"to the environment we find ourself in."},{"startTime":812.458,"endTime":819.916,"body":"You're reminding me, so many years ago, I was working internal in a large organization."},{"startTime":820.25,"endTime":821.375,"body":"I was not a consultant."},{"startTime":821.666,"endTime":828.541,"body":"I was working inside, a full-time employee, and I was assigned a new boss."},{"startTime":829.458,"endTime":834.25,"body":"And I had known this new boss for several years beforehand."},{"startTime":835.416,"endTime":839.458,"body":"And she really did not have a good reputation."},{"startTime":840.458,"endTime":843.0,"body":"She often undermined other people."},{"startTime":843.5,"endTime":847.958,"body":"She helped get several great people fired because she just didn't like them."},{"startTime":848.208,"endTime":851.041,"body":"I mean, there was a history and a pattern."},{"startTime":851.541,"endTime":855.5,"body":"And I remember when she was assigned to be my boss,"},{"startTime":855.5,"endTime":862.416,"body":"and I shook her hand as in our first kind of meeting that we had,"},{"startTime":862.416,"endTime":867.666,"body":"and there was just this voice inside of me that just said so clearly,"},{"startTime":867.666,"endTime":869.375,"body":"“I cannot trust you.”"},{"startTime":871.75,"endTime":874.875,"body":"And it was one of those things that I'm like, wow,"},{"startTime":874.875,"endTime":878.541,"body":"I was even kind of shocked for myself as I recognize that"},{"startTime":878.541,"endTime":880.916,"body":"but it was so loud and clear."},{"startTime":881.291,"endTime":883.875,"body":"-Yeah, you generally are a trusting person."},{"startTime":884.5,"endTime":884.958,"body":"-Right?"},{"startTime":884.958,"endTime":888.0,"body":"I give a lot of benefit of the doubt. Yes."},{"startTime":888.0,"endTime":891.708,"body":"-Yeah, you give them that like, I'm going to trust you until proven otherwise."},{"startTime":892.0,"endTime":893.208,"body":"But it sounds like this scenario,"},{"startTime":893.208,"endTime":896.333,"body":"you were approaching it with whoa, there's some red flags."},{"startTime":896.333,"endTime":898.0,"body":"There's some caution tape right here."},{"startTime":899.25,"endTime":900.333,"body":"For one reason or another."},{"startTime":901.0,"endTime":901.375,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":901.791,"endTime":902.166,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":902.708,"endTime":906.041,"body":"Yeah. And the level of dysfunction that seemed"},{"startTime":906.041,"endTime":910.083,"body":"to follow her wherever she went, was just consistently high."},{"startTime":910.083,"endTime":913.291,"body":"And so now I'm on her on her team."},{"startTime":913.708,"endTime":918.083,"body":"And I will, I will admit, so I was there for about a year."},{"startTime":918.625,"endTime":922.625,"body":"And that's when I knew it was no longer sufficient."},{"startTime":922.666,"endTime":923.75,"body":"It was not good."},{"startTime":924.125,"endTime":926.666,"body":"I needed to leave personally, professionally."},{"startTime":927.25,"endTime":929.083,"body":"It was not a helpful situation."},{"startTime":929.541,"endTime":932.833,"body":"And there was no change gonna be happening"},{"startTime":932.833,"endTime":935.791,"body":"despite every effort to try to make some level"},{"startTime":935.791,"endTime":936.875,"body":"of change and improvement."},{"startTime":937.833,"endTime":942.333,"body":"And so enduring that year, I will admit,"},{"startTime":942.333,"endTime":946.583,"body":"it took a while, months, even a year or two afterwards"},{"startTime":946.583,"endTime":951.125,"body":"to fully clean out, do I say trauma?"},{"startTime":951.458,"endTime":954.041,"body":"Do I say residual effect?"},{"startTime":954.375,"endTime":957.833,"body":"The impact of that, because that was a very,"},{"startTime":957.833,"endTime":959.5,"body":"very challenging circumstance."},{"startTime":960.458,"endTime":963.541,"body":"No matter what I did to remind myself of my choices"},{"startTime":963.541,"endTime":969.25,"body":"and options and to reframe, it was incredibly challenging"},{"startTime":969.25,"endTime":976.25,"body":"to work for somebody that you knew would just not have your back, and not just neutral,"},{"startTime":976.25,"endTime":977.666,"body":"like in a negative way."},{"startTime":978.166,"endTime":981.791,"body":"And I share that both because it's a personal thing,"},{"startTime":981.791,"endTime":985.708,"body":"and I would bet listeners can relate to that in some way."},{"startTime":986.333,"endTime":989.75,"body":"The other reason I share it is just as a reminder,"},{"startTime":989.75,"endTime":994.458,"body":"I'm always amazed how long people stay"},{"startTime":994.458,"endTime":996.125,"body":"in dysfunctional situations."},{"startTime":997.166,"endTime":998.666,"body":"And we all have various reasons."},{"startTime":999.5,"endTime":1006.625,"body":"The point though, is to recognize what it is and to see what you might do to change,"},{"startTime":1006.625,"endTime":1009.666,"body":"to impact it in positive ways."},{"startTime":1010.083,"endTime":1011.25,"body":"Remember choices."},{"startTime":1012.083,"endTime":1018.125,"body":"And yet at the same time, be kind to yourself as you're experiencing it."},{"startTime":1018.125,"endTime":1020.416,"body":"And we can dive deeper into all of these things."},{"startTime":1020.791,"endTime":1027.291,"body":"It's just always amazing how long people stay in harmful situations"},{"startTime":1027.291,"endTime":1030.291,"body":"for various reasons and they're understood."},{"startTime":1030.666,"endTime":1033.25,"body":"It's just a challenging situation to be in."},{"startTime":1033.5,"endTime":1037.5,"body":"-It really is and I appreciate you sharing the experience you had"},{"startTime":1037.5,"endTime":1041.375,"body":"and you know as we've talked through that situation over the years"},{"startTime":1041.375,"endTime":1043.125,"body":"and there's still times that, you know,"},{"startTime":1043.125,"endTime":1046.625,"body":"you'll have a little trigger or flashback to situations from that..."},{"startTime":1046.625,"endTime":1051.5,"body":"they go through. So it is, I mean, that professional, that institutional trauma,"},{"startTime":1051.5,"endTime":1052.625,"body":"it can be very real."},{"startTime":1053.166,"endTime":1060.416,"body":"And having that ability to assess, when is this getting to the point where"},{"startTime":1060.416,"endTime":1063.75,"body":"this is having a significantly negative impact on my life?"},{"startTime":1064.375,"endTime":1068.375,"body":"And I think as you look at how you view the day coming in,"},{"startTime":1068.375,"endTime":1071.375,"body":"when you wake up in the morning and you're heading into to work,"},{"startTime":1071.375,"endTime":1074.5,"body":"if you're driving in, if it's remote, and you're heading into your,"},{"startTime":1074.5,"endTime":1076.791,"body":"you know, opening your laptop or whatever,"},{"startTime":1076.791,"endTime":1078.208,"body":"how are you viewing the day?"},{"startTime":1078.791,"endTime":1080.291,"body":"How are you viewing those interactions?"},{"startTime":1080.291,"endTime":1083.75,"body":"What's that level of dread that you might be feeling?"},{"startTime":1083.75,"endTime":1087.5,"body":"What's that level of negative anticipation or fear?"},{"startTime":1088.125,"endTime":1093.958,"body":"And so it's owning that, it's recognizing that, and tracking how long that's happening."},{"startTime":1094.208,"endTime":1100.625,"body":"But a real key sign is when you're finding the impact"},{"startTime":1100.625,"endTime":1103.833,"body":"is outside of your professional life as well."},{"startTime":1104.541,"endTime":1106.333,"body":"You bring it home with you."},{"startTime":1106.5,"endTime":1109.291,"body":"You're taking it... once you've clocked out,"},{"startTime":1109.291,"endTime":1113.541,"body":"that sure has a lot of different meanings nowadays of what that really looks like,"},{"startTime":1113.541,"endTime":1116.75,"body":"but how does that impact your friendships,"},{"startTime":1116.75,"endTime":1120.5,"body":"you know, your family relationships with your significant other or partner?"},{"startTime":1120.875,"endTime":1126.166,"body":"You know, are they seeing a change in you and being aware of that?"},{"startTime":1126.541,"endTime":1132.166,"body":"So that leads to an important skill, or I think a tip,"},{"startTime":1132.166,"endTime":1135.541,"body":"it's leveraging the social support you have,"},{"startTime":1135.541,"endTime":1140.541,"body":"leveraging that support system, paying attention to the feedback they're giving you."},{"startTime":1141.083,"endTime":1142.75,"body":"You know, hey, are you noticing things?"},{"startTime":1142.75,"endTime":1146.666,"body":"Am I am I different? I feel a little bit down, you know,"},{"startTime":1146.666,"endTime":1150.166,"body":"and sometimes you might need to ask that."},{"startTime":1150.791,"endTime":1152.375,"body":"Others, they might volunteer it."},{"startTime":1152.708,"endTime":1155.25,"body":"Say, hey, we're seeing it. You're a totally different person."},{"startTime":1155.25,"endTime":1157.791,"body":"And they're coming from a position of love and support."},{"startTime":1157.958,"endTime":1162.458,"body":"And I believe genuinely most people are, especially when they're family friends."},{"startTime":1162.458,"endTime":1167.916,"body":"They care about you. So how do you hear that? And then what do you do with it?"},{"startTime":1170.166,"endTime":1170.666,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1171.375,"endTime":1178.25,"body":"Yeah, it can be such a sign when others in your support group, and this is within work,"},{"startTime":1178.25,"endTime":1183.041,"body":"outside of work, your family, friends, people who genuinely care about you,"},{"startTime":1183.041,"endTime":1186.541,"body":"have known you outside of work, have known you for a while,"},{"startTime":1186.541,"endTime":1190.083,"body":"and you care about them, and you know that they love you"},{"startTime":1190.083,"endTime":1191.708,"body":"and appreciate you as a human."},{"startTime":1192.333,"endTime":1197.833,"body":"When you start hearing indications from them of concern,"},{"startTime":1197.833,"endTime":1199.541,"body":"and you start seeing, again,"},{"startTime":1199.541,"endTime":1202.916,"body":"the intensity and duration and frequency of the level of concern"},{"startTime":1202.916,"endTime":1205.291,"body":"that people have of you, for you,"},{"startTime":1205.291,"endTime":1210.875,"body":"is a large indication for you to pause and to reflect"},{"startTime":1210.875,"endTime":1213.875,"body":"and to say, \"Wait a minute, is this situation helpful?\""},{"startTime":1214.125,"endTime":1216.166,"body":"And maybe for a short time, \"Okay.\""},{"startTime":1217.125,"endTime":1221.333,"body":"The question is, is that the longer term that you would like?"},{"startTime":1221.833,"endTime":1226.666,"body":"And this is one of the most important parts that we can emphasize today is,"},{"startTime":1226.666,"endTime":1230.958,"body":"in any dysfunctional situation, any situation where you don't feel safe,"},{"startTime":1230.958,"endTime":1233.375,"body":"where you feel you cannot add value,"},{"startTime":1233.375,"endTime":1240.25,"body":"and it's a challenging thing for you, is to reflect on what do you value?"},{"startTime":1241.291,"endTime":1244.708,"body":"What are those things that are most important to you in your life?"},{"startTime":1245.208,"endTime":1250.875,"body":"And how are your values matching up with your current situation?"},{"startTime":1251.583,"endTime":1251.875,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1251.875,"endTime":1257.333,"body":"-And if they don't match up, is there a realistic plan or approach"},{"startTime":1257.333,"endTime":1261.291,"body":"to get them lined up in the relatively near future?"},{"startTime":1262.0,"endTime":1262.458,"body":"-Mm hmm."},{"startTime":1262.458,"endTime":1265.583,"body":"-If there is not a plan, if there's not an approach,"},{"startTime":1265.583,"endTime":1269.375,"body":"if there's not a level of confidence to line them up,"},{"startTime":1269.375,"endTime":1272.5,"body":"then there are things that you might want to question."},{"startTime":1272.875,"endTime":1276.708,"body":"You might want to consider options. You might want to reframe. You might want to talk."},{"startTime":1276.958,"endTime":1278.708,"body":"You might want to have direct conversation."},{"startTime":1279.0,"endTime":1284.0,"body":"All of these things, yes, yes, you may need to run into the storm"},{"startTime":1284.0,"endTime":1288.166,"body":"instead of away from it, or at least consider these various options."},{"startTime":1288.958,"endTime":1294.291,"body":"The bottom line, though, is this is an ideal time to assess your values."},{"startTime":1294.666,"endTime":1296.458,"body":"What do you consider to be important?"},{"startTime":1296.75,"endTime":1299.0,"body":"What are your long term goals?"},{"startTime":1299.833,"endTime":1302.5,"body":"And how do those line up"},{"startTime":1302.5,"endTime":1303.916,"body":"with your current situation?"},{"startTime":1304.25,"endTime":1306.666,"body":"Critical self-assessment piece."},{"startTime":1307.333,"endTime":1307.875,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1308.458,"endTime":1309.333,"body":"It really is."},{"startTime":1309.333,"endTime":1311.375,"body":"And everybody's situation is different."},{"startTime":1311.583,"endTime":1313.666,"body":"And we're not going to make a blanket statement,"},{"startTime":1313.666,"endTime":1318.416,"body":"you know, of this is what is a sign of dysfunction for you, or this—"},{"startTime":1318.416,"endTime":1323.5,"body":"because you know your situation, and we're encouraging you to"},{"startTime":1323.5,"endTime":1327.208,"body":"be intentional and thoughtful about what that situation is"},{"startTime":1327.208,"endTime":1330.541,"body":"and the level of impact it's having on you long term,"},{"startTime":1330.541,"endTime":1331.708,"body":"not just in the near term."},{"startTime":1332.0,"endTime":1333.166,"body":"And okay, can I—"},{"startTime":1333.166,"endTime":1335.625,"body":"is this something that six months from now may be getting better?"},{"startTime":1336.041,"endTime":1337.625,"body":"Well set yourself that benchmark."},{"startTime":1337.791,"endTime":1342.0,"body":"Be very clear on what that is and what are those signs of"},{"startTime":1342.0,"endTime":1343.25,"body":"nope, this is too much."},{"startTime":1343.708,"endTime":1348.083,"body":"You know, it doesn't matter what the numbers on that paycheck are,"},{"startTime":1348.083,"endTime":1350.0,"body":"it ain't worth it for me."},{"startTime":1350.0,"endTime":1353.083,"body":"And that's term, it's breaking that golden handcuffs sometimes"},{"startTime":1353.083,"endTime":1355.916,"body":"and that fear of, well, I may not find another opportunity,"},{"startTime":1355.916,"endTime":1358.291,"body":"or this is going to kill my professional journey,"},{"startTime":1358.291,"endTime":1361.541,"body":"or there's a lot of reasons we can come up with."},{"startTime":1361.666,"endTime":1365.916,"body":"We're really good storytellers, as we've highlighted a few times on the podcast,"},{"startTime":1365.916,"endTime":1370.458,"body":"of reasons why we should do what we do or stay where we're at."},{"startTime":1371.375,"endTime":1372.291,"body":"But it's looking at it."},{"startTime":1372.291,"endTime":1377.125,"body":"And so as you're highlighting, Daniel, of going through those values,"},{"startTime":1377.125,"endTime":1380.125,"body":"those circumstances that means so much to us,"},{"startTime":1380.125,"endTime":1385.166,"body":"that's a way to rationally lay out a scenario"},{"startTime":1385.166,"endTime":1388.208,"body":"where sometimes we might not be trusting our emotions."},{"startTime":1389.041,"endTime":1392.416,"body":"We might be feeling like, okay, our emotions are taking over and"},{"startTime":1392.416,"endTime":1395.25,"body":"am I thinking too much with my heart instead of my head?"},{"startTime":1395.875,"endTime":1400.416,"body":"We're pointing out a way in which you can help engage both to make a good decision."},{"startTime":1402.25,"endTime":1409.125,"body":"And building on the support network as well, as one's own stress increases,"},{"startTime":1409.125,"endTime":1414.208,"body":"it's harder and harder for us to have a realistic viewpoint of our own circumstance"},{"startTime":1414.833,"endTime":1419.291,"body":"And that's where it's so valuable to have somebody else, a trusted person,"},{"startTime":1419.291,"endTime":1423.625,"body":"to be able to get their perspective, to help gauge"},{"startTime":1423.625,"endTime":1427.625,"body":"how far off we are from understanding our own circumstance."},{"startTime":1427.833,"endTime":1429.541,"body":"Because we have blind spots."},{"startTime":1429.541,"endTime":1431.416,"body":"And I don't care who you are."},{"startTime":1431.958,"endTime":1433.083,"body":"We all have them."},{"startTime":1433.083,"endTime":1437.708,"body":"And somehow when we become stressed, when we do not feel valued,"},{"startTime":1437.708,"endTime":1442.333,"body":"these blind spots become really, really pronounced,"},{"startTime":1442.333,"endTime":1444.833,"body":"and they can cover up all sorts of things."},{"startTime":1445.375,"endTime":1450.583,"body":"Thus, it's just so critical to get somebody else's perspective,"},{"startTime":1450.583,"endTime":1453.25,"body":"and whether it's one person or several,"},{"startTime":1453.25,"endTime":1459.875,"body":"getting their input, and for us to take a pause and to genuinely listen"},{"startTime":1459.875,"endTime":1464.291,"body":"around what are we hearing, what does that mean for us as well."},{"startTime":1464.458,"endTime":1470.333,"body":"Now, the other thing we can touch upon here is the level of stress that we have."},{"startTime":1470.583,"endTime":1475.375,"body":"We're familiar with the stress curve, and if any of you are unfamiliar"},{"startTime":1475.375,"endTime":1479.416,"body":"you can just Google and look it up, but there's this interesting parabola,"},{"startTime":1479.416,"endTime":1482.0,"body":"kind of a bell curve approach,"},{"startTime":1482.0,"endTime":1486.375,"body":"where there is a healthy amount of stress that we actually need and want."},{"startTime":1487.125,"endTime":1490.958,"body":"And that may vary for each person and the circumstance, how much."},{"startTime":1491.25,"endTime":1494.416,"body":"The point is to embrace a certain level of it."},{"startTime":1495.208,"endTime":1497.708,"body":"However, there is that point."},{"startTime":1498.208,"endTime":1501.458,"body":"And the point can differ for each of us"},{"startTime":1501.458,"endTime":1506.291,"body":"when that good stress suddenly starts turning into the bad stress."},{"startTime":1506.75,"endTime":1513.125,"body":"And that bad stress is then indicative of all of these other factors and qualifiers"},{"startTime":1513.125,"endTime":1516.208,"body":"that we've been talking through in terms of the impact for you,"},{"startTime":1516.208,"endTime":1517.375,"body":"your family life,"},{"startTime":1517.375,"endTime":1519.541,"body":"your friends, your professional life."},{"startTime":1519.958,"endTime":1521.416,"body":"What is it now doing to you?"},{"startTime":1522.25,"endTime":1524.708,"body":"And are you out of whack with your values?"},{"startTime":1525.25,"endTime":1529.458,"body":"Are you out of whack with taking care of yourself and showing up as your best self?"},{"startTime":1529.916,"endTime":1535.083,"body":"Once it starts getting into that bad stress, unhealthy stress,"},{"startTime":1535.083,"endTime":1539.958,"body":"another indication where have a timeout and to reassess."},{"startTime":1540.208,"endTime":1541.333,"body":"Again, is it temporary?"},{"startTime":1541.916,"endTime":1542.958,"body":"Is it how often?"},{"startTime":1543.458,"endTime":1545.541,"body":"How long does it last?  Etcetera."},{"startTime":1546.041,"endTime":1546.541,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1547.166,"endTime":1550.333,"body":"The technical terms as you're going up that stress curve,"},{"startTime":1550.333,"endTime":1553.0,"body":"the good stress is referred to as eustress."},{"startTime":1553.416,"endTime":1555.833,"body":"E-U stress. Eustress."},{"startTime":1556.208,"endTime":1561.416,"body":"And as you peak and it stops having that positive benefit,"},{"startTime":1561.416,"endTime":1563.041,"body":"it's referred to as distress."},{"startTime":1564.083,"endTime":1566.208,"body":"And so that's when you get in that state of distress."},{"startTime":1566.583,"endTime":1568.5,"body":"And it's not helpful at all."},{"startTime":1568.958,"endTime":1572.166,"body":"And you're spot-on in terms of it's different for everybody."},{"startTime":1573.166,"endTime":1578.5,"body":"But it's looking at where we're at, taking that assessment so you can look at it."},{"startTime":1578.916,"endTime":1583.333,"body":"So what, as I'm sitting here and I'm working for an organization,"},{"startTime":1583.333,"endTime":1587.708,"body":"as I'm listening to this and I'm thinking, \"Oh, well, you know, it really is with my"},{"startTime":1587.708,"endTime":1591.625,"body":"manager and my team, it's just the culture. I'm not feeling like it's a good fit."},{"startTime":1591.625,"endTime":1594.5,"body":"It's just this dysfunctional for whatever situation,"},{"startTime":1594.5,"endTime":1598.541,"body":"whether it's just this old boys club or whatever it is,"},{"startTime":1598.541,"endTime":1601.333,"body":"I'm not fitting in and it's having a negative impact."},{"startTime":1602.875,"endTime":1610.0,"body":"I can, if I feel safe, go to the HR representative,"},{"startTime":1610.0,"endTime":1613.041,"body":"share some of those, but what if people are scared to do that?"},{"startTime":1613.041,"endTime":1619.666,"body":"What if the dysfunction of an organization is even infiltrated into that area?"},{"startTime":1619.666,"endTime":1621.583,"body":"It's like, what are the options people have?"},{"startTime":1622.375,"endTime":1622.916,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1623.833,"endTime":1628.208,"body":"Well, one thing that we want to avoid doing"},{"startTime":1628.208,"endTime":1633.541,"body":"is becoming part of the dysfunction and adding more dysfunction."},{"startTime":1633.833,"endTime":1634.333,"body":"-Yes."},{"startTime":1634.333,"endTime":1637.833,"body":"Which can be such a challenging thing because"},{"startTime":1637.833,"endTime":1642.041,"body":"we are often going to be greatly influenced by the environment"},{"startTime":1642.041,"endTime":1645.25,"body":"and the culture and the way things are done"},{"startTime":1645.25,"endTime":1647.875,"body":"and especially how our boss behaves, how others..."},{"startTime":1648.333,"endTime":1651.875,"body":"And it can be an easy temptation"},{"startTime":1651.875,"endTime":1658.041,"body":"to start acting and contributing and encouraging the dysfunction itself."},{"startTime":1658.791,"endTime":1662.75,"body":"And this is where people can step back and say, \"Wait a minute."},{"startTime":1662.75,"endTime":1666.125,"body":"Did I just do passive-aggressive behavior,"},{"startTime":1666.125,"endTime":1671.208,"body":"where I normally would not, but I did not have open, direct conversations?"},{"startTime":1671.541,"endTime":1675.333,"body":"I was saying one thing and then going about and complaining"},{"startTime":1675.333,"endTime":1677.291,"body":"and doing something very different?\""},{"startTime":1678.083,"endTime":1683.083,"body":"That even simple passive-aggressive behavior example,"},{"startTime":1683.083,"endTime":1687.875,"body":"where can you make sure you are not adding to it,"},{"startTime":1687.875,"endTime":1696.166,"body":"but instead choosing to have direct, frank conversations, as best as possible?"},{"startTime":1697.041,"endTime":1701.75,"body":"And to be able to see what you can do to change and influence"},{"startTime":1701.75,"endTime":1704.875,"body":"instead of becoming part of the problem."},{"startTime":1705.333,"endTime":1708.291,"body":"And that's where you go back to, what are my values?"},{"startTime":1708.708,"endTime":1709.875,"body":"What do I want to stand for?"},{"startTime":1710.875,"endTime":1714.166,"body":"Instead of becoming and adding part"},{"startTime":1714.166,"endTime":1715.708,"body":"of the dysfunction yourself."},{"startTime":1716.0,"endTime":1717.833,"body":"And sometimes it can be insidious"},{"startTime":1717.833,"endTime":1720.25,"body":"and you start behaving like this"},{"startTime":1720.25,"endTime":1721.916,"body":"and you are unaware that you're doing it."},{"startTime":1722.166,"endTime":1726.083,"body":"Again, support and others to kind of, you know,"},{"startTime":1726.083,"endTime":1731.5,"body":"kindly kick you upside or smack you upside the head and remind you,"},{"startTime":1731.5,"endTime":1734.041,"body":"\"Wait a minute, what are you doing? What are you doing?\""},{"startTime":1734.041,"endTime":1740.625,"body":"So one of the first things to do is to not dive in and become an add"},{"startTime":1740.625,"endTime":1742.541,"body":"to the level of dysfunction itself."},{"startTime":1743.25,"endTime":1743.75,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1744.541,"endTime":1750.5,"body":"And as you're trying to promote and have some of that clear, candid conversation"},{"startTime":1750.5,"endTime":1755.708,"body":"to counter, to try and change, to try and adjust, that takes effort."},{"startTime":1755.916,"endTime":1760.041,"body":"That takes energy.  That takes courage. It is hard to do."},{"startTime":1760.666,"endTime":1763.0,"body":"And..."},{"startTime":1763.0,"endTime":1764.583,"body":"trying to do it is needed."},{"startTime":1765.125,"endTime":1766.333,"body":"You know, we can't just say,"},{"startTime":1766.333,"endTime":1769.958,"body":"\"Oh, great. This is a dysfunctional situation. Boom, ripcord, I'm out.\""},{"startTime":1770.333,"endTime":1772.375,"body":"Now, sometimes that might be the case, but"},{"startTime":1772.375,"endTime":1776.625,"body":"why not try and have some of that dialogue, try and head into that storm"},{"startTime":1776.625,"endTime":1779.625,"body":"to have some of those conversations with some of your peers,"},{"startTime":1779.625,"endTime":1781.416,"body":"with your boss, with might be a—"},{"startTime":1781.416,"endTime":1784.083,"body":"this is how the behavior is impacting me"},{"startTime":1784.083,"endTime":1787.291,"body":"and I want to be able to be here and continue to contribute and work here."},{"startTime":1788.041,"endTime":1792.041,"body":"What options do we have here moving forward as you're talking about it?"},{"startTime":1792.041,"endTime":1794.583,"body":"So as you're broaching that, again, that takes courage."},{"startTime":1794.958,"endTime":1796.5,"body":"So that's one thing we can do."},{"startTime":1797.0,"endTime":1800.041,"body":"And another one is to make sure,"},{"startTime":1800.041,"endTime":1803.0,"body":"however long this might take,"},{"startTime":1803.0,"endTime":1804.875,"body":"are we taking care of ourselves?"},{"startTime":1806.208,"endTime":1806.791,"body":"-That's a great one."},{"startTime":1806.875,"endTime":1811.791,"body":"Are we taking that time for some renewal to be able to recharge?"},{"startTime":1811.791,"endTime":1813.541,"body":"Are we monitoring our energy levels?"},{"startTime":1813.875,"endTime":1817.416,"body":"Are we intentionally having some of that de-stress time?"},{"startTime":1817.833,"endTime":1820.083,"body":"You know, whether it's going on a walk outside,"},{"startTime":1820.083,"endTime":1823.583,"body":"whether it's just time sitting there, vegging, playing a game on our phone,"},{"startTime":1823.583,"endTime":1827.666,"body":"or watching a stupid show that's mindless, you know,"},{"startTime":1827.666,"endTime":1829.125,"body":"whatever it is for us."},{"startTime":1829.583,"endTime":1835.25,"body":"You know, you know what is a de-stress, a detox from that environment that you need,"},{"startTime":1835.25,"endTime":1839.125,"body":"and it's intentionally scheduling that in to help."},{"startTime":1839.583,"endTime":1844.375,"body":"Because in many ways stress is like a bucket, you know, and it fills,"},{"startTime":1844.375,"endTime":1846.375,"body":"and it's you're gonna keep filling that."},{"startTime":1846.375,"endTime":1849.0,"body":"The stress is gonna keep getting dumped into that bucket"},{"startTime":1849.0,"endTime":1853.75,"body":"and our goal is to try and get spigots and holes and other ways in that bucket"},{"startTime":1853.75,"endTime":1857.708,"body":"to let that stress flow through, to let it drain out."},{"startTime":1858.208,"endTime":1862.75,"body":"And the more we can and be intentionally turning on those little valves and spigots"},{"startTime":1862.75,"endTime":1865.416,"body":"so that the bucket doesn't overflow,"},{"startTime":1865.416,"endTime":1866.75,"body":"we just let it flow through."},{"startTime":1867.25,"endTime":1871.791,"body":"That's what a lot of these tips are doing at a very just high level."},{"startTime":1872.208,"endTime":1876.0,"body":"It's teaching us how we are managing and coping with"},{"startTime":1876.0,"endTime":1879.0,"body":"these significant environmental stressors that that are around us."},{"startTime":1879.791,"endTime":1880.25,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1880.666,"endTime":1883.375,"body":"I like the analogy of the bucket"},{"startTime":1883.375,"endTime":1885.0,"body":"that you don't want it to overflow."},{"startTime":1885.208,"endTime":1887.875,"body":"You know, if you imagine all of this liquid is distress,"},{"startTime":1887.875,"endTime":1890.041,"body":"you gotta have release valves, you gotta have holes,"},{"startTime":1890.041,"endTime":1893.25,"body":"you gotta have ways for it to drain"},{"startTime":1893.25,"endTime":1895.125,"body":"versus if we keep collecting,"},{"startTime":1895.125,"endTime":1898.458,"body":"if we just keep pulling it on ourselves"},{"startTime":1898.458,"endTime":1901.5,"body":"instead of having any way to renew ourselves."},{"startTime":1901.958,"endTime":1906.0,"body":"And again, the movement idea, exercise,"},{"startTime":1906.0,"endTime":1907.833,"body":"sleeping, eating well."},{"startTime":1908.083,"endTime":1913.583,"body":"Once those habits start becoming really affected"},{"startTime":1913.583,"endTime":1915.416,"body":"and not just for a day or two,"},{"startTime":1915.416,"endTime":1917.958,"body":"but for weeks and weeks and months,"},{"startTime":1917.958,"endTime":1921.791,"body":"they will start impacting you and your ability to decide"},{"startTime":1921.791,"endTime":1923.708,"body":"and show up as your best self."},{"startTime":1924.416,"endTime":1927.166,"body":"And so it's working in these periods"},{"startTime":1927.166,"endTime":1929.0,"body":"or these activities of renewal."},{"startTime":1929.583,"endTime":1932.416,"body":"And even if it is simply breathing,"},{"startTime":1932.416,"endTime":1935.041,"body":"taking a pause every hour for a minute."},{"startTime":1935.875,"endTime":1936.291,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1936.625,"endTime":1939.125,"body":"-This is one of the reasons we've implemented"},{"startTime":1939.125,"endTime":1940.625,"body":"this seven day challenge,"},{"startTime":1940.625,"endTime":1943.916,"body":"Stress Less, Lead More Seven Day Challenge that,"},{"startTime":1943.916,"endTime":1945.583,"body":"if any of you wanna do this,"},{"startTime":1945.583,"endTime":1947.791,"body":"please we'll put a link in the show notes."},{"startTime":1947.791,"endTime":1949.458,"body":"You could do this on your own."},{"startTime":1949.833,"endTime":1954.125,"body":"Seven days of building in practices"},{"startTime":1954.125,"endTime":1956.458,"body":"that will help you manage stress"},{"startTime":1956.458,"endTime":1958.375,"body":"and uncertainty in different ways."},{"startTime":1958.375,"endTime":1961.666,"body":"Now, you might try some of these activities"},{"startTime":1961.666,"endTime":1964.0,"body":"and you might say, \"Ah, this doesn't fit for me.\""},{"startTime":1964.0,"endTime":1967.125,"body":"but one or two others really, really help."},{"startTime":1967.583,"endTime":1968.25,"body":"Fantastic."},{"startTime":1968.666,"endTime":1971.208,"body":"And this is not like earth shattering things."},{"startTime":1971.541,"endTime":1974.5,"body":"The tricky part is to actually just do it,"},{"startTime":1974.5,"endTime":1975.833,"body":"to get enough sleep,"},{"startTime":1975.833,"endTime":1978.0,"body":"to be able to have social interactions,"},{"startTime":1978.0,"endTime":1981.25,"body":"to have regular movement or exercise in your life,"},{"startTime":1981.25,"endTime":1982.5,"body":"to be able to be grateful"},{"startTime":1982.5,"endTime":1984.458,"body":"and express gratitude and appreciate."},{"startTime":1984.875,"endTime":1989.25,"body":"These are fantastic things in small doses"},{"startTime":1989.25,"endTime":1991.208,"body":"to building those habits,"},{"startTime":1991.208,"endTime":1995.666,"body":"to be able to help us manage the stress of any circumstance."},{"startTime":1996.208,"endTime":1996.833,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":1997.541,"endTime":1999.625,"body":"And as you own it, and as you recognize"},{"startTime":1999.625,"endTime":2002.916,"body":"and are intentionally striving to cope with it,"},{"startTime":2002.916,"endTime":2005.416,"body":"all of these techniques can be very helpful."},{"startTime":2006.416,"endTime":2008.333,"body":"And as we're wrapping this up,"},{"startTime":2008.333,"endTime":2012.041,"body":"I think it's helpful to distinguish between"},{"startTime":2012.041,"endTime":2014.166,"body":"burnout and stress."},{"startTime":2015.291,"endTime":2019.375,"body":"And the key differentiator is a lack of hope for any change."},{"startTime":2020.208,"endTime":2024.875,"body":"You know, there is no light at the end of the tunnel with burnout, you know,"},{"startTime":2024.875,"endTime":2026.166,"body":"and there's, there's no hope."},{"startTime":2026.833,"endTime":2031.708,"body":"So as you find yourself in a situation of high stress of dysfunction,"},{"startTime":2031.708,"endTime":2040.166,"body":"it's setting a benchmark down the road of what you hope or need things to be at,"},{"startTime":2040.166,"endTime":2041.5,"body":"in order for you to maintain."},{"startTime":2041.75,"endTime":2042.875,"body":"It's that check-in point."},{"startTime":2043.125,"endTime":2046.041,"body":"Cause we, we have a tendency to just kind of keep going on and on and on."},{"startTime":2046.041,"endTime":2049.125,"body":"And many of us, we'll avoid those confrontations,"},{"startTime":2049.125,"endTime":2052.625,"body":"we'll avoid the significant change because it's the unknown,"},{"startTime":2052.625,"endTime":2055.416,"body":"because we just aren't sure what's gonna happen."},{"startTime":2055.791,"endTime":2059.375,"body":"So sure, this is a bad scenario for me,"},{"startTime":2059.375,"endTime":2061.041,"body":"but how do I know I'm gonna find a better one?"},{"startTime":2061.625,"endTime":2063.291,"body":"You know, what does that next one look like?"},{"startTime":2063.375,"endTime":2063.708,"body":"What is it?"},{"startTime":2064.083,"endTime":2066.625,"body":"But as you set that benchmark,"},{"startTime":2066.625,"endTime":2070.791,"body":"that check-in point in the calendar in 60 days, in 90 days,"},{"startTime":2070.791,"endTime":2074.125,"body":"you know, in three months or whatever down the road,"},{"startTime":2074.125,"endTime":2077.125,"body":"this is what I need to start seeing"},{"startTime":2077.125,"endTime":2078.875,"body":"to know if this is gonna work out here."},{"startTime":2080.125,"endTime":2084.416,"body":"And that will give you that shorter timeframe of okay,"},{"startTime":2084.416,"endTime":2086.583,"body":"I just gotta get through these next 90 days."},{"startTime":2086.916,"endTime":2089.208,"body":"Psychologically, we can cope with that a little easier."},{"startTime":2089.708,"endTime":2092.583,"body":"And this is what I'm gonna try and do to get there"},{"startTime":2092.583,"endTime":2093.708,"body":"and then reevaluate."},{"startTime":2094.666,"endTime":2095.166,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":2095.875,"endTime":2096.541,"body":"Great point."},{"startTime":2096.541,"endTime":2098.25,"body":"And to all of our listeners,"},{"startTime":2098.25,"endTime":2101.291,"body":"we have a Workplace Survival Guide"},{"startTime":2101.291,"endTime":2104.625,"body":"that we will be able to put a link to in the show notes,"},{"startTime":2104.625,"endTime":2106.666,"body":"or you can go to stewardleadership.com"},{"startTime":2106.666,"endTime":2109.0,"body":"and look it up under the resources."},{"startTime":2109.333,"endTime":2112.583,"body":"There are a number of resources there, articles, etc.,"},{"startTime":2112.583,"endTime":2116.083,"body":"that can help you manage a dysfunctional situation."},{"startTime":2116.083,"endTime":2119.541,"body":"We care about you, and we want to help support..."},{"startTime":2119.541,"endTime":2126.208,"body":"to enable you to be the best leader every day for yourself, for your organization,"},{"startTime":2126.208,"endTime":2127.208,"body":"for your team."},{"startTime":2127.708,"endTime":2130.75,"body":"It matters how you show up and how you take care of yourself."},{"startTime":2130.958,"endTime":2135.416,"body":"(music)"},{"startTime":2135.416,"endTime":2139.666,"body":"So Peter, as we're finishing up, what is the, what's the one thing,"},{"startTime":2139.666,"endTime":2144.375,"body":"the one takeaway that people should keep in mind as they're managing"},{"startTime":2144.375,"endTime":2147.0,"body":"in a dysfunctional workplace situation?"},{"startTime":2148.291,"endTime":2152.208,"body":"The most important thing is, is one of the points we started off saying,"},{"startTime":2152.208,"endTime":2157.0,"body":"when you find yourself in a dysfunctional situation where you feel like you're trapped,"},{"startTime":2157.0,"endTime":2160.0,"body":"you have choice. You always have choice."},{"startTime":2160.166,"endTime":2164.375,"body":"There are always options. And if you can't identify those,"},{"startTime":2164.375,"endTime":2167.0,"body":"Reach out to others who can help,"},{"startTime":2167.0,"endTime":2170.25,"body":"help you recognize what those might be."},{"startTime":2170.791,"endTime":2172.208,"body":"You are never without a choice."},{"startTime":2173.125,"endTime":2173.541,"body":"-Yeah."},{"startTime":2174.25,"endTime":2174.833,"body":"Well said."},{"startTime":2175.0,"endTime":2175.875,"body":"Peter, thank you."},{"startTime":2176.0,"endTime":2178.416,"body":"Always a pleasure doing another episode with you."},{"startTime":2178.416,"endTime":2181.5,"body":"And to all of our listeners, thank you for joining us."},{"startTime":2181.625,"endTime":2183.625,"body":"Please like and subscribe, and"},{"startTime":2183.625,"endTime":2185.541,"body":"as well, if you have ideas"},{"startTime":2185.541,"endTime":2188.25,"body":"that you'd like us to talk about in the future,"},{"startTime":2188.25,"endTime":2192.125,"body":"please email us at podcast@stewartleadership.com."},{"startTime":2192.541,"endTime":2194.291,"body":"We'd love to hear from you."},{"startTime":2195.333,"endTime":2197.166,"body":"Well, this is Daniel and Peter signing off."},{"startTime":2197.5,"endTime":2199.625,"body":"Another great episode of the Leadership Growth Podcast."},{"startTime":2199.916,"endTime":2203.583,"body":"All the best to all of you as you continue to improve"},{"startTime":2203.583,"endTime":2205.541,"body":"and strengthen your leadership capability."},{"startTime":2206.0,"endTime":2206.541,"body":"Take care, everyone."},{"startTime":2207.208,"endTime":2208.666,"body":"If you liked this episode,"},{"startTime":2208.666,"endTime":2210.625,"body":"please share it with a friend or colleague,"},{"startTime":2210.625,"endTime":2212.375,"body":"or better yet, leave a review"},{"startTime":2212.375,"endTime":2214.291,"body":"to help other listeners find our show."},{"startTime":2215.0,"endTime":2217.708,"body":"And remember to subscribe so you never miss an episode."},{"startTime":2218.708,"endTime":2220.5,"body":"For more great content or to learn more"},{"startTime":2220.5,"endTime":2224.666,"body":"about how Stewart Leadership can help you grow your ability to lead effectively,"},{"startTime":2224.666,"endTime":2226.958,"body":"please visit stewartleadership.com."}]}