How To Be A Man: Follow The King

In this episode of the Manhood Tribes Show, we ask the pivotal question: Is your life worth living? 

Host Don explores what it means to live a fulfilling life as a man and delves into the three pillars of manhood—manhood, camaraderie, and freedom. We discuss the five marks of manhood: strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance. 

Through reflections on ultimate allegiance and the example of Jesus, we offer practical advice on how to become the extraordinary men we were meant to be. Stay tuned for the Manhood Challenge segment to apply these concepts in your own life.

00:00 Introduction: Is Your Life Worth Living?
00:53 How Manly Are You? Take the Quiz!
01:26 Welcome to the Manhood Tribe Show
02:35 The Three Pillars of Manhood
03:11 The Five Marks of Manhood
04:18 Building Camaraderie
05:33 Achieving Freedom
06:27 The Challenge of Being an Extraordinary Man
07:22 Ultimate Allegiance: The Key to Manhood
09:16 Evaluating Your Ultimate Allegiance
15:20 Why Jesus is Worthy of Ultimate Allegiance
26:08 Manhood Challenge: Allegiance

Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly.

Transcript

Don Ross: 0:00

Guys, I've got a question for you. Is your life worth living? I know, it kind of seems like a heavy question. But I think as men, it's one that we need to ask ourselves fairly often. It's the life I'm living, actually a life that I want to live. Does it look anything like I might have wanted my life to look like when I was a kid. If not. How do I do something about that? How do I become the kind of man that lives a life worth living? Let's talk about that today on the manhood tribe show. Guys want to know how you measure up as a man? I've got a great resource for you. It's called how manly are you? And it's a free quiz that you can take to figure out how you stack up against what it means to be a man. And when you take the quiz, you'll also get some free resources to help you figure out how you can get better as a man in the areas where you would like to grow. So go to manhoodtribes.com/manly to download your free. How manly are you quiz today? That's manhoodtribes.com/manly. Okay guys, welcome to the manhood tribe show. Hey, I am Don. I'm your host here at manhood tribes, and I'm glad to be wrapping up our series with you on how to be a man. We have spent the past several weeks really going through some content to try to help answer that question, how to be a man, because if we're honest, it's gotten really difficult to figure out how to be a man in our culture. We're not even quite sure what a man is, let alone how to be one and how to do that effectively in a way. That's not going to get us just beat down by the narratives and the cultural warriors around us. So figuring out what it means to be a man and how to do that well has become not only really difficult, but really important. We need to know how to do this as men. We need to know what it means for us to be a man, because the culture just isn't going to teach that to us anymore. It's not going to help us to figure those things out, nor is it going to support us as we, as we try to really live that out as men. So we're going to have to encourage and support one another along the way. And that's what we've been doing with this series. We started out by talking about here at manhood tribes, we have three big pillars and those three big pillars are really all about how we can become extraordinary men. And that just means the best versions of ourselves. The men that we were meant to be the men that God has created us to be. We want to live as that extraordinary kind of man. And in order to do that, we need three pillars in our lives. Manhood. Comradery and freedom. That idea of manhood is just to say, we need a clear vision of what it means to be a man. And we spent some time unpacking that by looking at our five marks of manhood. We said that the five marks of manhood are really all about the things that men should possess in order to demonstrate to the world what it means to be a man. And those five things are strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance. And we said that if a man possesses those things, then he is a man. Now that doesn't necessarily make him a good man. There's ways to live out all of those five marks that can be good or can be bad. But the point is that being a man and pretty much any culture throughout time, location history, you name it. Those things have been associated with manhood more often than not. And so living that way, whether in a good moral way or in some kind of corrupt or twisted way still makes you a man. And that's really what we're after is just kind of a bare bones version of manhood so that we can build upon that in a way that really does lead to a good version of life with manhood at its base. So manhood that's the first one. The second one is comradery. Camaraderie is all about building lasting relationships with other men around you. And we in particular highlighted two components of comradery that were really worth paying attention to the first was just adventure. If you're going to build lasting relationships with other men, you've got to have adventure in your lives. You've got to have some shared experiences that are not only. Quality. But also just fun. And what I mean by that is that it needs to be about something that's meaningful. Right? We need adventure that actually counts for something it's accomplishing something in our lives and in the world around us, but it should also be fun. It should be something that we look forward to something that we enjoy doing and that when we look back on it with those other guys, we can celebrate it. We can laugh about it. We can rejoice over the things that we got to do together. We need adventure. But we also need to be able to get naked. That was our phrase that we use here at manhood tribes, to be able to say, we need vulnerability and trust in our relationships with other men. We need to be able to be honest about what's really going on in our lives and to trust other men, to help us be able to find a pathway towards something that is good and whole, no matter how bad those things in our lives might be. Okay. And so then lastly, that third pillar we've just been talking about is all about freedom. We need a way to be able to overcome the major obstacles in our lives. And we talked about a few of them. We talked about addiction and the shame cycle that contend to control us. We talked about lies in the sense that we get validation from false sources and that we make agreements with spiritual forces who are trying to get us to believe things about ourselves. That really aren't true, but that can shape our lives in ways that are not good. We need freedom from all of those things so that we can actually live the life that we were meant to live, not bound up and controlled by other things. But when we look at all of that together, manhood comradery, freedom. Yes. It adds up to an extraordinary life. It adds up to the kind of man that we would actually want to be. But if we're honest, It's a lot. It can feel like kind of a burden to figure out how do I do all of those things? How in any man's life, can he figure out how to implement all of that, to put all of that together and to be able to do it consistently and in a way that leads to a pattern of life that actually looks like that. Not just for brief moments, but actually for the course of his whole life. It becomes really difficult to do. And look, that's not my job. I'm not trying to give you a difficult way of living in order to be able to just simply be a man, right. Being a man, shouldn't be that difficult of a thing. Being an extraordinary man might be more difficult, but it still shouldn't be impossible. It shouldn't feel so out of reach. So, what do we need to do then in order to be able to find a way towards being an extraordinary man, that doesn't feel quite so out of reach. Well, I think it goes back to something that we actually talked about in our series about manhood. When we were talking about our five marks of manhood. You'll remember that when we talked about allegiance, one of the aspects of allegiance that we talked about, Was this idea of ultimate allegiance, really? What am I giving my life over to? What is the thing that really kind of guides all of my decisions, all of my thoughts, all of the ways that I processed my life. That really kind of serves as like a north star for how I live my life. And I think if we're going to become extraordinary men, we need to make sure that we've got that ultimate allegiance in the right place. Because if we've got a strong guiding light and we know that it is steering us in the right direction, Then we can lean on that a little more and not have to worry so much about, am I doing all the right things? Am I making all the right decisions? Am I ordering my life in all the right ways? That can simply become exhausting. But if we can simply say, am I following my ultimate allegiance? Am I staying true to the thing that I said that I would stay true to? And if the answer to that question is yes, then we don't have to worry so much about all the other smaller questions. We know that ultimately they will fall into place as long as we're coming back to that true north star and being able to say, yes, I am still following that thing. So we need to ask the question and I hinted at this when we were talking about allegiance back in that episode. But we need to ask the question of, do I have the right ultimate allegiance is the thing that I have given my life over to really the thing that I actually want to be following. Is my ultimate allegiance actually worthy of my ultimate allegiance. So in order to figure that out, I'm going to give you a couple questions that I think can help you wrestle with is your ultimate allegiance. What it actually should be. Okay, so two questions. The first question is, will this guide me to a life that is worth living? Will this thing that I have given my ultimate allegiance over to will it guide me to a life that is actually worth living a life that I actually want to have. So in asking that question, you really need to look at the fruit of the life that you're pursuing. Is this ultimate allegiance that you have given yourself over to going to yield the kind of lifestyle that you actually want to have. So we can talk about ultimate allegiance in terms of God's in terms of faith, in terms of creed, in terms of codes. But if we're honest and our modern Western society, most of us probably live more like our ultimate allegiance is to some. Aspect of our lives, not to some higher power, more often than not. Or even if we say that it's to some higher power. Wa the way that we are really living is by putting our emphasis in one certain place of our lives. So what do I mean by that? You might have given your ultimate allegiance over to your work. And that means that if I can just get the next promotion, if I can just get that next pay raise, if I can just earn my approval of my bosses, if I can just find my way into the C-suite level, uh, office and position that I really want to have, then I will have achieved. All the things that I want to achieve that will afford me the status and the recognition that I want that will afford me, the lifestyle that I want to be able to afford that will afford my family, all the luxuries that we would like to have. That's what I've really given my ultimate allegiance over to that. If I do all of those things, it will get me the life that I believe is worth living. Or you might have turned the other page and said, no, actually I'm going to give my ultimate allegiance over to my family. Maybe you grew up in a family where your parents or one of your parents had given their ultimate allegiance over to their work. And it meant that you as a kid, Really missed out on your relationship with your mom or with your dad. And so because of that, you have kind of said, Nope, I'm going to really make a priority of my family. And you have done everything you can to be the best dad and the best husband that you can possibly be. Prioritizing your wife and your kids at every turn you make the most of weekends and vacations, and you help out with homework you're involved in your kids' schools. You take your family to church and you're involved in all those kinds of opportunities with them as well. You have earned the super dad badge for the year, for sure. And that's great. Is that giving you the kind of life that you want to live? Okay. So that's what you have to ask is the thing that I have given my allegiance over to actually going to guide me to a life that is worth living. But then the second question that you have to ask. To really see if that's pointing you in the right direction is to be able to say, am I willing to sacrifice for that thing? Am I willing to sacrifice for that thing. Now here's the thing about an ultimate allegiance. Every ultimate allegiance is going to require sacrifice from you. That's just the nature of having an ultimate allegiance. It is something that is in authority over you. And so you are going to have to give of yourself to it. You are going to have to change course and sacrifice in some ways in order to make sure that that thing stays at the place of highest allegiance in your life. So if that's the case with your work, you're going to have to sacrifice in some ways to keep your work. As your ultimate allegiance, if you want to be able to get to that C-suite position. You're going to have to sacrifice some time with your family in order to be able to do it. Your company is going to need to know that it has your loyalty, that it has your time. It has your effort. And when push comes to shove, you're going to be available. You're going to give up that weekend trip with your family so that you can go spend the weekend with the client and make sure that things are okay there. You're going to have to work late hours in order to be able to make sure that the project goes through and the deadline is met and that the budget comes out where it's supposed to. You're going to have to do all of those things in order to be able to keep your work as your ultimate allegiance in your life. The same thing goes with your family. If you're going to make family your ultimate allegiance, you're going to have to sacrifice in some other places you may have to sacrifice in your work environment. You may miss out on the work promotions that you would really like to get, because you're unwilling to sacrifice those weekends and long hours at night. You're unwilling to take a role that you know is going to cost you some things with your family. And so you're choosing to lose out on the work side of things. It may also cost you something. In terms of your health, you may prioritize doing things with your kids and being available to them in ways that causes you extra stress or that you lose sleep, or maybe you sacrifice on your diet in some ways that you just have to miss out there. Your health begins to tank, and you're willing to sacrifice that because you want your family to be first. Okay. I don't have to give more examples on that because I hope you get the point. You've got to ask, is this thing going to give me a kind of life that is worth living? And am I willing to sacrifice for it? If the answer to both of those questions is not an immediate yes. Then you have the wrong ultimate allegiance. End of story. And it's time to really evaluate whether or not. You need something that serves as a better ultimate allegiance. Now I have made no secret so far on this show and on this podcast of the fact that I believe as a Christian, that Jesus of Nazareth. Is the man who is most worth following. That he is, who is most worthy of our ultimate allegiance. And I want to give you a brief explanation of why I think that's the case and why I think you ought to strongly consider having Jesus as your ultimate allegiance. Here's why. I'm going to do something that I really love about the way that the Bible teaches us. The Bible is an ancient document. And a lot of what it does is try to use things that were familiar. In the context of these ancient cultures that it was writing to. In order to be able to contrast what was really different about the God of the Bible and about the way that the God of the Bible wanted his people to live. Okay. So it takes familiar things and uses that to contrast the ways that the things of God are really different. So I want to do the same thing. I want to use our three pillars that we've talked about here at manhood tribes to show what men and our culture tend to use those three pillars as. And I want to try to pinpoint how Jesus as a leader, as a king, as someone most fault, most worthy of being followed. I want to highlight how he does those things differently. So let's just go through those things. When we talk about manhood, we talk about the five marks of manhood. The first one is strength. Now for most Kings or leaders of some kind of state or government. They use strength in a way to be able to assert military control. Their version of strength is saying might is right. We walk around with the biggest stick. And so therefore we have the right to tell other people, other countries, other, whoever, what they ought to do, because we have the most power. Uh, they use strength for power. But Jesus used his strength to pick up a cross and carry it to his death. He used strength to sacrifice himself. So the others might be free. Courage. Leaders tend to use courage, to be able to stand up and intimidate others into doing what they want them to do. They're willing to face hard things, but they try to do it by using methods of manipulation and intimidation to try to get what they want. Jesus used his courage to pick a fight with the religious leaders of his day to let them know that they were out of place and that they were oppressing the people. He used courage to stand in the gap between those who were hurting and those who were using their authority to hurt. Skill. Leaders today, try to use their skills, to be able to build a platform and an audience to be able to make a name for themselves. Jesus used his skill as a teacher to be able to liberate people, to help them understand what a good life was really all about and how that through him. They actually could have it, that it was accessible and attainable to them. His skills were not used for making a name for himself, but for bringing life to others. Honor. Now it's no secret that among leaders and especially political leaders in our day. That they want to gather the honor of important. Valuable wealthy. And status oriented people around them. They want to sit at the highest tables and to have the most influential people around them. That's what they're looking for in terms of honor. Jesus looked for honor in ways that he not only received honor, but also showed honor to people from all walks of life and especially to people at the lowest places in life. Jesus extended honor to the poor, to the lowest of the low and expected his followers to do the same. And because of that, he received honor from everyone and from everywhere who wasn't opposed to his way of living. Allegiance. Now. All Kings everywhere. All leaders everywhere are going to expect you to give them your allegiance. And Jesus is actually no different in that way. But what is different about Jesus is that he doesn't ask you to do something that he hasn't already done himself. He said repeatedly that he only did what he saw his father in heaven. Doing. He was a man who had allegiance to someone and higher authority over him. And he did what his father asked of him. Even up to the point where in the garden of guests eMoney the night before his death, he wrestled with his ultimate allegiance to say, I don't want to have to go through this. Can this cup pass from me? And yet not my will, but your will be done. And so he ultimately went to his death, knowing that that was what needed to be done. For the sake of setting others free. And in doing that. He not only kept his allegiance to his father, but he earned our allegiance as well. Our king is a king who sacrifices himself on our behalf so that we might be able to sacrifice ourselves as well. Let's talk about. Comradery now. Let's talk about comradery now. Adventure. Most Kings, think of adventure as some form of conquest, it is going out into the world in a way to subdue others and bring them into their kingdom to expand and make their kingdoms bigger. Jesus, his form of adventure is not about conquest, but about rescue. He goes into the world to bring people into his kingdom, not by conquering them, but by rescuing them. And he invites us to be part of that same rescue mission as well. It is the greatest adventure that we possibly could be part of. Getting naked. Political leaders and our day will do anything. To avert their eyes and their words from the truth. They don't want to look at the truth. They don't want to face the truth. They don't want to talk about the truth. They put spin on anything so that it showcases them in a positive light. Jesus was never afraid of the truth. He talked humbly. He talked, honestly, he was always straightforward about his mission. And even in, especially when his followers wanted his mission to be something different than what his was. He confronted them and said, no, this is what I'm about. This is what my father's kingdom is about. And I have come to do this. He stayed true to his mission. And in that model of being naked before his followers, he calls us to do the same with each other. Freedom. Jesus was a man of freedom, like no other, he sacrificed himself so that we might be free. He won freedom for us. Leaders today, want to bind their followers to them, whether that's through tax dollars or through votes or through support or through honor and respect or any means possible. They want to pull their followers toward them in a way that allows for control so that they can stay in their position of influence and power. Jesus gave up his influence and power so that we might be free. And it is out of our freedom that we actually do continue to support and to follow him. All of these things make Jesus, the man and the king who is most worth following. When you think about those two questions? Can he guide me to a life that is worth living. And is he worth sacrificing for the answer to both of those things is an absolute yes. So, how do you do that? How do you follow Jesus? You may have heard it described before as praying a prayer and asking for forgiveness or that you might go to heaven when you die now. That's not wholly wrong, but it's also not really complete. It's not really the point of the story that is being told about Jesus. The story of Jesus is that through his death, resurrection and his Ascension to go to his father in heaven, that he has become king of the whole universe. And he is inviting us to be able to experience the abundant and eternal life in his kingdom. All that he asks of us is our allegiance. The Bible says. If we confess with our mouth, that Jesus is Lord. And we believe in our hearts that God raised him from the dead. Then we can be saved. So that might sound like it's a simple thing, but let me be honest, that it's a very costly thing. And that ancient context, where that was said to people of Rome, they knew that to say that Jesus was Lord. Meant that they were not saying that Caesar was Lord. And in their culture, that was both blasphemy and treason. It could cost them their lives. So to confess that Jesus is Lord means that we say he has our yes. In all things. Whatever he asks us to do. Even when it means to swim upstream against the current of our culture. He has our, yes, we follow him. Ahead of all things. And if you're willing to do that. Then his offer of life in his kingdom. It's all yours. So if that's what you want, I want to lead you in a brief prayer to be able to do that. Jesus. I acknowledge you as my king. I confess that you are Lord, and I believe that God raised you from the dead. I give you my yes. And all things and surrender my life to you. That you might be my ultimate allegiance. And that's it again. I hope you see it is fairly simple. And yet at the same time, it is tremendously costly. You are giving yourself over to Jesus wholeheartedly. And he is doing the same for you. I hope you have benefited from the series on how to be a man. I'm going to close out our time now with a manhood challenge that will help you continue to process these things. All right, man. Welcome to another manhood challenge segment here as part of the manhood tribe show. My name is Don. I'm the host of manhood tribes and these manhood challenges are meant to give you some quick and easy ways that you can level up as a man that will help you grow. And one of our five marks of manhood, those things are strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance. And today I have an allegiance challenge for you. Allegiance is all about the authority figures in your life. And so today I want to ask you to wrestle with what is the ultimate allegiance in your life, and is that actually the thing that it should be. Your ultimate allegiance is the thing that guides all of the major decisions and thoughts and feelings in your life. You process all the big things through that grid in terms of being able to say, is this helping me become the kind of man that I actually want to be. So to figure out if that thing is worthy of your ultimate allegiance, I want you to ask these two questions. Okay. This is your challenge. Question number one. Will this thing guide me to a life worth living. And question number two. Am I willing to sacrifice for it. Every ultimate allegiance should lead you into a good life, but it is going to cost you something. And so you need to wrestle honestly, with what those things are. And if you are willing to live the kind of life it's asking of you and to sacrifice the things that will take to be able to get to that good life. Now for more on that. I want you to go and watch our manhood tribes episode on following the king, because it will help you understand what a really good ultimate allegiance should be all about. Check us out there. And I look forward to talking to you next time.