From Warrior to Worn Out: What Manhood Means in 2025

In this episode, we explore the increasing complexity of manhood in modern society. We discuss traditional expectations of men, the confusion these expectations cause today, and the resulting feelings of hopelessness.

We provide actionable steps to navigate these challenges, including naming struggles without shame, seeking mentorship, defining personal allegiances, and building quality male friendships.

00:00 Introduction: The Allure of Classic Masculinity
01:23 The Decline of Modern Manhood
03:03 Challenges of Contemporary Masculinity
04:32 The Crisis of Male Identity
09:02 Reclaiming a Vision of Manhood
10:44 Building Brotherhood and Honor
12:04 Conclusion: Steps to Rediscover Manhood

💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪

Transcript

0:00

Men? Have you ever watched an old John Wayne or Clint Eastwood movie and thought, God, that guy is such a badass. Or maybe you've watched something like William Wallace in Braveheart, or Maximus in Gladiator, or Aragorn in Lord of the Rings and thought, I really want to be like that guy. Of course you have'cause you're a man. Of course you've thought those things. We all think of those things as we watch those kinds of movies because they appeal to something in our masculine heart. They appeal to this natural kind of warrior side of us. This something that is in us that comes up when we see a man living this epic kind of life and fighting for things that really matter and standing up for things that are important and that should be believed in. We watch men do that. In film and it stirs something in us to want to be like that. I think there's something, even maybe it's a little bit nostalgic, but I think there is some truth to it as well that looks back on previous generations of other men in our culture and says those men had something that we don't have anymore. There was a real manhood that was there within men in previous generations that we have somehow lost, misplaced. Just become unfamiliar with no one's really sure, but it does seem to be missing for some reason in our current era of masculinity. I. Why is this? Why is it then when we look around at men in our era, we don't see warriors. We see guys who are just tired. We're just exhausted, we're beat down. It feels like we're probably doing more than men in any other era have ever done, and yet at the same time, we somehow feel less as men. We haven't risen to some better version of masculinity to like some higher peak of manhood. We've actually somehow like declined even in the fact that we are doing more, giving ourselves to more, showing up for more being present and available in more ways. How is it that there is just more and more and more in our lives and yet there is less of us as men? We are not the men that we want to be. We're not really the men that we were meant to be. What's going on there? Why is there such a disconnect? And what do we do to be able to get back in touch with this masculine heart that we need to try to recover? Welcome here to the Manhood Tribes Channel. My name is Don, and my job here at Manhood Tribes is to give you a clear vision of what it means to be a man, a clear challenge to build strong male friendships, and a clear path for how to do both of those things. So today what I really want to talk about is manhood in the current moment. If you're watching this video when it's first released, this is 2025, and we're just kind of talking about the fact that manhood today doesn't feel at all what we at least think manhood felt like even just a few generations ago. We've gone from this idea of kind of this like warrior version of masculinity to just sort of feeling worn out and exhausted. We're, we're not the kind of men that we wish that we could be, but yet at the same time, it's not like we have all this capacity to be anything different. I. We're, we're giving ourselves to everything that we possibly can or because so much is expected of us, we've just checked out, we've decided I don't wanna do any of that, so I'm just gonna pursue all the things that I wanna pursue and make the best life that I can. Regardless of what you know, being a man is supposed to be about, I'm just gonna do my own thing. Both paths are happening at the same time in our culture right now, and neither of them is leading us to as men to a good place. The traditional roles of what we have often defined masculinity by, whether it's things like strength or courage or duty, or honor, or sacrifice, all of those things have now come into question. They've been criticized, they've been thrown under the bus. We've been told that those kinds of things are toxic and that we shouldn't try to live that way. We've been told that just being a man can be bad and detrimental to our communities and to our world. How are we supposed to then show up? What are we supposed to do? We're not gonna stop being men. And yet, at the same time, in some places of our world, that seems exactly what is being asked of us, and yet we're also being asked to do more than we have ever done before. Men used to be needed in just some kind of clear and simple ways. We were meant to be the builders, the protectors, the providers, the leaders in our homes, in our communities. And now we're needed to be way more than that. Not only to show up in those ways, but to be emotionally and relationally present to be wise to relational and social. Movings and activities to be able to attune to our own hearts and to the hearts of everyone else around us. Look, these are not bad things. Those are things that I want to be able to to do, that I aspire to do well, and yet it is more than we've ever been asked to do as men. And so because of that, most of us are struggling under the weight of trying to do more than we've ever done before, and just this kind of low grade feeling of I'm failing at all of it. I'm not really doing well at any of the things that I'm asked to be doing. I'm not effective in my work environment. I'm not effective in my home environment, or I haven't been able to create a home environment that I actually want to have because I'm not effective as the kind of man who can have a relationship with a woman, or I'm afraid of having kids because I don't think I'll be a good dad or whatever. The reason is you've decided that being a parent to a dog is better than being a parent to a child, or at least it's easier, and so you've gone that route, right? There's plenty of guys that are doing it. But we don't have the things in our world anymore that have helped men in previous generations to be able to move into manhood with confidence and to live out of that place effectively. Manhood these days is vague, it's criticized and often unwanted. To show up as a man used to show up is in a lot of ways, we're told these days that we shouldn't do that. That we should leave, leave room for women and for anyone to show up in those ways. It can't just be men and to expect as men that we should show up. That way is chauvinistic and old and we shouldn't act like that anymore. And yet at the same time as men, we don't have any kind of mentorship. We don't have rites of passage or initiation. We don't have ways of inviting younger men up into a manhood that they actually want to be a part of. We're not showing a path forward for men on what it looks like to be a man, and we're certainly not creating a vision of manhood that other men stand up and go, yeah, that's what I want. We don't see younger men looking at older men saying. I wanna be a part of their world. We see younger men looking at older men going, you guys are boring and exhausting, and why would I ever want that kind of life? I'll just go check out and be an adolescent for the rest of my life. I'll just have fun and do the things that are fulfilling for me, but it becomes entirely selfish and eventually a man wears out on that path as well. We don't have paths forward that are fulfilling and meaningful for men anymore, and so because of that, we're just doing everything that we can and wearing ourselves out in the process. We have also entered into a world where our work is mostly digital. We're separated and isolated. We sit at desks all day long instead of using our bodies to be able to accomplish things in the world, we don't connect well relationally in the environments where we work anymore. And because of that, men these days have fewer friends than we ever have had in probably the history of our complete Western culture. Men are isolated, and because of that, we've lost our ability to really know how to relate to each other as men and to create something that men want to be a part of. We are worn out and we just need to be honest about it. We need to be honest about the fact that we are being asked more of than we are capable of doing. It is death by a thousand expectations from men these days, and that's just the reality for most of us. We're told to be strong, but also to be sensitive. We're told to be providers, but also to be present. We're told to do all of it. And to do all of it is just too much men and women as well. But no one really is meant to do all of it. But men these days especially, are being expected that. The exhaustion of trying to do everything for everyone is going to kill all of us. We simply can't carry that load, and we certainly can't carry it by ourselves, which is what most men are trying to do. So where do we go from there? How do we get back to reclaiming this kind of older warrior sense of masculinity, this strength that just seemed to exude from a different version of what it meant to be a man, but that also came with some kind of a sense of purpose, of peace, of wellbeing, of a sense of, I am effective in what it means to be a man. I'm actually accomplishing some purpose in my life. How do we get to that place again? We do need to reclaim a vision of what it means to be a man. We need to have some sense of where we're headed there. Here at the Manhood Tribes Channel, I talk about that in terms of the five marks of manhood. Now I have some videos, some content on that that you can go back and watch. I'll just mention them here briefly. Strength, courage, skill, honor and allegiance. These are the things that all men need to possess in order to demonstrate what it means to be a man. If you want more detail on that, go back and watch those videos to help recover some ideas of what a clear vision of being a man actually does need to look like. But more than that, we men need a fight. We need something in life that actually does matter. We need to choose something that we're actually going to want to and be able to stand up for. Whether that is brotherhood with other men, I. Whether that is a faith that matters to you, whether that is building something lasting in your community that's actually gonna make a difference in the lives of others, you need something that you can engage with that feels meaningful and purposeful and is bigger than you. It's time to find something to fight for, to help give you a sense of direction and purpose in your life. We also need to pursue honor. Now, I know I mentioned that as one of the five marks of manhood, but this one in particular is one that we as men have got to recover. We need honor in our lives, and in order to have honor, we have to have friends. Honor is about doing right by your peers. It is about having a group of men around you that you hold up some shared values and you receive honor from one another for living in a way that you all agree is good. When we live that way, we as men have a natural sense of, I'm living life. Well, we need to be recovering honor. But to do that, we've got to be building relationships with other men. So if you've been listening to these videos or following along, you have heard me say, you've got to start building. Relationships with other guys. You need to be putting yourself in places where you can connect with other men. Even if it's not for the sake initially of developing deep friendships. You at least need to be connecting with other men, whether that's at the gym or at the church, or through school or you know, whatever your environment is. You've got to find a way to get around other men where you can start developing other relationships. Here's the thing, guys. You're not broken. We are not just doing everything wrong, you're not failing at life. You're just worn out from carrying a load that no man was meant to carry and certainly was not meant to carry alone. It's time to start thinking about how we do life differently. If you want some ideas on how you can start developing that vision of manhood, I've got a free resource for you called How Manly are You? It's a quiz that will help you evaluate how you're doing in each of the five marks of manhood and even point you in some directions to help you develop those things a little bit better. You can download that quiz for free. At Manhood tribes.com/manly. So if you go there today, you can download that, take that quiz for free, and start getting some more resources to help you along the path towards becoming the kind of man that you want to be. That's manhood tribes.com/manly. Hit the like and subscribe button for this video and down below it, I want you to just comment on what's something that you looked up to about men in previous generations? What have you seen in other men that you admire and want to be true of yourself? Comment with that and I look forward to engaging with your comments and talking to you again soon. We'll see you then.