Why Most Manhood Books Aren't Worth Your Time (But This One Actually Is)

Men, are you ready to embark on a journey towards true manhood? In this episode, I reveal my new book, How to Be A Man. I crafting a concise, action-oriented guide to address what men need today.

I also provide a teaser by reading the first chapter, sharing an exhilarating adventure that raises essential questions about manhood. Discover how this book can help you grow into the man you aspire to be.

Available for pre-order on Amazon now! https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Man-Masculinity-Brotherhood-ebook/dp/B0FPBPZL97/

00:00 Introduction: Why Another Book for Men?
00:39 The Challenge of Engaging Men with Books
01:51 A Different Approach to Writing for Men
02:48 Action-Oriented Content
03:49 Book Availability and Teaser
04:15 Reading Chapter One: Being a Man Is Awesome
14:07 Conclusion and Next Steps

💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪

Transcript

0:00

All right. I'm not gonna bury the lead. If you clicked on this video after reading the title, you probably have already guessed it. I wrote a book, it's called How to Be A Man By Me Don Ross, and I'm really excited to share it with you about it. But here's the thing. I know what you're probably thinking, which is that, do we really need another book for men? I mean, let's be honest, these days men barely read books as it is. What is the point of trying to reach men by writing a book to them when that seems like the least likely thing that we as men are going to actually pick up and engage with? I get it. The challenge is real. Trying to get a book in front of men that they're going to pay attention to is, uh, not an easy task. And at the same time, I think we all kind of recognize that we're living in an era where men need some help. We as men aren't doing all that great at the moment, and the world keeps reminding us that things are getting harder and harder for us. So I do think we need to be putting out all kinds of resources in all kinds of forms to be able to help each other out as men. A book is only one of them, but here's the thing. Most books for men aren't really all that effective at actually helping men, and there's a few reasons for that. Uh, one is simply that not a lot of books for men sell. And so in order to try to get them to sell, publishers will do all kinds of things to make the book look flashy and attractive, and they'll give it these kind of crazy titles and they'll do all sorts of marketing, whizzbang, gizmos to try to get you to buy the book because their focus is just. On selling the book. They're actually not all that interested in helping men. They just want to get you to make a purchase. I've tried really hard with this book to go about it a different way. I started with you in mind and to try to really think about what is it that you and I as men actually need, and how can I present something to you that's actually going to be helpful. I've also gone about writing the book in a way that I think it's structured, that you could actually read it. The book is less than a hundred pages. I know, right? Can you even call it a book if it's less than a hundred pages? Yeah, we're gonna to call it a book anyway, but you know, most books out there for men are several hundred pages long, and if you've actually read any of them, you kind of know that you get everything you need to know within about the first 50 pages, and the rest of it is just fluff. Okay. So I wrote a book that doesn't have any fluff in it. It really is to the point. Everything in it is not something that's been said in an earlier part of the book. So you get the message, you get it done with, and it helps you know what to do to be able to move forward once you've read it. Okay, so this book is also inherently action oriented, and that's because we as men are action oriented. We need things to do. And so in almost every chapter of the book, you're gonna be given some action items to be able to put the things into motion that you're reading about in the book. And then I won't spoil it for you, but at the end of the book, there's some very specific ways that you can take part in joining in a community to put the book into action. So the book builds on some things to help you continue to be able to grow into the kind of man that you want to. The book builds on some things to help you grow into the man who you really want to be. Okay. Those are all the kinds of things that we talk about on this channel on a regular basis. So it probably comes as no surprise that the book I have written is actually doing the things that we talk about here on the Manhood Tribes Channel. But I don't want to just give you all the like, juicy details of why you should buy the book. I mean, I hope that you will, uh, it's available if you're watching this when this episode actually comes out. The book is available for pre-order on Amazon, or if you're watching it later, it probably is already available for purchase. So go check it out on Amazon as an ebook, as a paperback, or at pretty much anywhere you can get books sold. You should be able to find it. If not, just keep looking and it'll be there eventually. Okay. But instead of just telling you what the book is about, I actually want to give you a little bit of a teaser today. So in this episode, I'm going to do something that I don't normally do do, which is that I'm just gonna read, I want to read to you the first chapter of How to Be a Man, and I'm hoping that it will paint a picture for you of why this book. It's different when it comes to men's books that are out there, and I hope it's going to be something that's not only an encouragement to you but is actually the challenge that you're looking for to be able to get you moving in the direction that you want to go, to become the kind of man who you want to be. Okay, so here we go. Chapter one of How to Be a Man. My brother and I arrived half an hour late to the load up for our rafting trip. Honestly, we figured they'd just leave without us. Turns out, timeliness is a lot more flexible in New Zealand than in America. There were only two other people on our raft, our Kiwi guide, and a young Chinese woman who spoke broken English. They were just hanging out, waiting on us to show up. We would've been on time if it weren't for rental car hiccups and the whole driving on the wrong side of the road thing, which had totally thrown me off the road sign told us we had gone 10 kilometers. How many miles is that in the wrong direction? Before we realized we needed to turn around, but we made it. My brother was in college studying abroad for a semester. I was in my early twenties just enjoying life. A trip to New Zealand to see my bro and play around in the adventure capital of the world. Sounded right up my alley. The Tuna River is known for having the highest commercially rafted waterfall in the world at seven meters. That's 23 feet. Our American friendly guide helped me out on that one. It qualifies as a near death experience after getting all the necessary equipment and instructions from our guide Accented with a helpful dose of kiwi nonchalance. Don't sweat it, mate. You won't drown. We set off down river. The day was pristine, bright, warm sun over the lush, overgrown foliage, banking the river. The first half hour or so, the trip was almost relaxing. A few rapids here and there, but nothing truly taxing. But we all knew what was coming. It was what we signed up for. The tone in our guide's voice changed quickly. What had been jovial and relaxed, switched into instructional and direct. Here's how to hold your paddle. Here's how to lay down in the boat. Yes, lay down. Here's when to take a giant breath and pinch your nose before we get fully submerged. Good grief. What have I done? And then we could hear it. The Looming falls growled at us building like a jet engine raging ever louder As we floated closer, there wasn't much paddling to do at this point. Just sit and wait in terrifying anticipation as the falls dragged us in. In the boat, the guide yelled and we all snapped to his orders. Paddle wedged, feet planted butt in the bottom of the boat. Arms crossed prayer, said the girl in the back is yelling something over and over again in Chinese. That has to be, oh shit. Oh shit. And I agree. Here we go. The boat goes completely vertical, hanging in midair for what feels like minutes, but can't have been more than three seconds. I look out and see the wide pool below the falls and the spray of the crash below, and then we go under not just my brother and me at the front of the boat. The whole boat, the whole damn thing goes all the way under the water for what was way longer than I thought I could hold my breath. I'm pinching my nose wondering if we'll be stuck under the current of the falls forever. Then the boat makes a U as it gets out from under the crash and the sun and the spray hit my face as we pop back up out of the water and I am alive. Not just, I can't believe I didn't die alive, but more like that was the most incredible thing I've ever done, and all of life should be like that alive. It was wonderful. It was exhilarating. It was all encompassing, engaging body, mind, and spirit all at the same time. It was clarifying, having such a singular objective and focus and coming out the other side of it successful. But it was also a sharp contrast because if I'm honest, alive was a feeling I wasn't feeling much at that point in my life. I was feeling confused. After my time in college, I was ready to make a mark on the world, but also to just enjoy being a grownup and living life on my terms. My upbringing and my education had prepared me well to handle the responsibilities of adulthood, but I had no idea of the shifts I was about to encounter, for which I was completely unprepared without warning. I woke up one day with. Questions. I couldn't explain where those questions had come from or what was prompting them. It was just like they had a countdown timer on them and the timer had gone off. And now all I could think about day in and day out were these questions, what does it mean to be a man? Am I a man? How would I know if I am one? And the strangest of all. Why am I thinking about manhood so much? I couldn't recall ever giving a thought to any of the questions that were haunting my mind. Why had they become so important all of a sudden? But there they were worming their way in and out of my thoughts, like a relentless parasite. At first, I simply ignored them, unable to see their significance. I figured they would just go away. Of course, they didn't. After a couple of weeks of being annoyed by their constant presence, I realized I had no choice. I was going to have to find answers, and that started me on a quest because if I was going to find the answers to the questions, I knew intuitively that it was going to take work. These questions felt big. No simple browsing through the dictionary was going to provide satisfaction. It wasn't just my brain that was looking for answers, it was my soul. I wasn't looking for information and explanation. I wanted confirmation and validation. I needed to know in my depths that whatever the qualifications for being a man were, I had passed the test. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, but I knew it was big. This road I was starting down would grow into an epic journey filled with learning, friendship, healing and purpose. I had to do a lot of research and by research, yes, I mean reading books, fiction and nonfiction, and watching a lot of manly movies. But research also meant talking to a lot of men, men my age, men older than me, some who had walked the road longer than I had, and some who like me, were just getting started. And as I shared my questions with other men, what I realized quickly is that I wasn't the only one asking these questions. Every man I talked to was facing or had faced these questions in his own life. Not all of them had encountered these questions with the same intensity that I had, but the questions themselves were universal, which is why I'm writing this book. That quest of mine started over 20 years ago. Since that time, a lot has changed in our culture and much of it not for the better, at least as it relates to manhood. When I look around at where things stand for us right now, we need to be honest about something. As men, we're not doing so hot. We live in a culture that is at best, confused, and at worst, hostile to the very idea of masculinity. So it's no surprise we men are having a hard time figuring out who or what we're supposed to be. The things that have traditionally identified men, strength, courage, honor. Are no longer considered distinctive to even claim those things as masculine as to be considered sexist, but contrary to the conventional wisdom of our day, I don't think masculinity is a bad thing, certainly not a toxic thing. As we are so prone to hearing in our cultural narrative. Being a man is awesome. In fact, it's something that should be celebrated. Men are explorers and adventurers. We've been everywhere from the deep jungles of Africa and South America to the vast ice of the North and south poles. Men have climbed every mountain, sailed every sea, and when we couldn't go any further, we built airplanes to take us into the skies. We've even put men on the moon and sent spacecraft far into the cosmos. Men are creators and inventors. We've made everything from spears and wheels to artificial intelligence and cryptocurrency. From philosophy and democracy to quantum physics and advanced robotics, we never stop looking for new and better. Men are warriors and revolutionaries. Whenever freedom and justice and protection of innocence have needed defending from tyranny and oppression, men have stood up and done it, whether that be the sacrificial heroism of the world wars of the 20th century or the backyard brawl, to get the neighborhood bully to stand down. All good things have their dark side, and men certainly have their faults. But the abuse of a thing doesn't make that thing inherently bad. That's the mistake our current culture has made and our frustration with some harmful expressions of masculinity. We've thrown the baby out with the bathwater and decided that all our understandings of masculinity are bad. This hasn't helped us make better men. It's just left us confused. It is time to bring some light back to the conversation to provide clarity for all of us about what it means to be a man. All right, that's chapter one. I hope that you really enjoyed it, and I hope that you will check out my book, how to Be A Man by Don Ross. Again, you can find it on Amazon, uh, available for pre-order if you're watching this, when it has first come out, or maybe available for purchase if you're watching it later, uh, in ebook and paperback format. And I hope that you will pick it up. It will be a fantastic read, and I guarantee that you as a man. Will not only benefit from reading from it, but that you will actually get started on the journey towards becoming the kind of man who you really want to be. Go check it out, how To Be A Man By Don Ross. I look forward to talking to you again next week, and I'm gonna share even more about what is in the book so that you can get a much better idea of what's in store for you inside. How to Be a Man.