The Secret to Manhood That's Been Missing (Until Now)

How can men better themselves in a world where they are currently struggling? We introduce the concept that the missing piece in most discussions about manhood is the need for men to build strong, intimate friendships with other men. 

Highlighting key elements from Don's book, 'How to Be a Man,' we dive into how men can develop camaraderie and attain freedom by forming a tribe. 

Available for on Amazon now! https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Man-Masculinity-Brotherhood-ebook/dp/B0FPBPZL97/

Join us as we explore what real, meaningful male friendships look like and how they can transform your life.

00:00 Introduction: The State of Men Today
00:48 The Missing Piece in Conversations About Manhood
01:29 The Importance of Male Friendships
01:53 Defining Real and Intimate Friendships
04:03 The Concept of a Tribe
04:55 Building a Tribe: Manhood, Camaraderie, and Freedom
05:50 Camaraderie: Trust and Shared Experiences
08:07 Adventure and Getting Naked: Building Deeper Connections
11:17 Freedom: Overcoming Life's Biggest Obstacles
14:11 Conclusion: Becoming the Man You Want to Be

💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪

Transcript

0:00

There's a lot of conversation today about what it looks like to be a man and how men can be doing better in our world. That's because, honestly, right now, men are not doing well in our world. We know the statistics. We've heard a lot about the poor state that men are in at the moment, and that's one of the reasons that. This channel, the Manhood Tribes Channel exists is because I want to be able to help men become the kind of men that we actually want to be. The challenge is that even with all the good advice that's out there, men still aren't moving mostly in the right direction. We're a little bit stuck and maybe even getting worse. Despite all the self-help and all the good ideas, men aren't going the way that we would like to go. I believe that's because there's one really big missing piece in most of the conversation about men today. It is so important in fact that I dedicated the second half of my book to talking about it. That's right. I have launched a book, it's called How to Be A Man By Me, Don Ross, and it's available for purchase now on Amazon or anywhere. Books are sold as an ebook, as a paperback, and I know it is gonna be of benefit to you, because it addresses that one big missing piece that most conversations about manhood just really aren't talking about. So what is that? What is the big missing piece that most of us aren't discussing? Really, honestly, it's just the idea that men need to be in community with other men. Men need real strong. Intimate friendships with other men. Now I know some of those words that I used might throw you off a little bit. We need real friendships, like are there fake friendships? Well, hell yeah. There are. Our whole world is made up of fake friendships right now, whether that's through social media or artificial intelligence, or even just. Showing up to your workplace and pretending like you're actually getting to know your coworkers. When you know you're really not, you actually don't know much about them at all, and they don't know much about you. That's not a real friendship. Even though you might spend hours around those people. You need real friendships. You need strong friendships. You need friendships that are gonna last. You need friendships that are gonna talk about important things. You need friendships that are gonna call you on your bullshit. You need friendships that are gonna actually show up in your life and make a difference. Those are strong friendships and most men don't have those kinds of friends anymore. But you also need intimate friendships. Now, this is a word that, eh, I think most men get a little uncomfortable with. That's because for the most part, in our society, we've reserved the word intimate for talking about the way that. A man and his wife relate to each other. Sometimes we use that to mean sex. Sometimes we just mean it to mean the in-depth romance and private conversations that men and women have with each other in the context of a committed relationship. And so, because we have tended to use it that way, we get really uncomfortable about the idea of intimacy between men. But the truth is, is that men need intimate friendships. It just means that those are people that you talk about. All of the really important and significant things in your life with those people. You need men who know the intimate details of your world. That just means they're involved in your life. They know what's going on with you. They know your history. They know your past. They know your struggles. They know your successes and your failures. They know your weaknesses and your temptations. They know all the stupid stuff that you've done, right? You need men in your life who know these kinds of things about you. You need real strong and intimate male friends in your life. You need that kind of community. And here at Manhood Tribes, that's what we call a tribe. You need a tribe of men around you. But the truth is, is that most men don't have that and don't really have any way to get it. But even if they did, they wouldn't know how to do it. We, we've lost complete. Touch with what it looks like to develop those kinds of male friendships in our life. And so that's why I spent a whole half of my book talking about those kinds of things is because it is a truly lost art in our world today that needs a lot of attention and a lot more attention, especially to be brought to it and the conversations about manhood that are happening in our world. So. Let's talk then just a little bit about what makes up this kind of tribe style of relationship among men. How do you develop those kinds of things? Well, when it comes to the idea of tribe that I lay forward in this book, how to Be a Man, there are really three key elements that are a part of it that we need to discuss. The first is manhood. Okay? When you think about tribe of men, you need to think about manhood. That's because the men of the tribe need to be pursuing what it looks like to be a man. Now, if you go back to the video before this, or really just about any video where I've talked about manhood on this channel, you will hear about the five marks of manhood, strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance. And pursuing manhood just looks like doing those things and getting better at them. So I'm not gonna spend a whole lot of time on that in this video today,'cause I covered it pretty well in the last video. And you can go back and watch that one if you want some more details about what manhood looks like in the context of trap. It is the second and the third points that I think are most important and that I want to talk about today. The second one is what I'll call camaraderie. camaraderie is really just that feeling that develops among men when you cultivate trust and shared experience over time, trust and shared experience over time. As men develop those things, they develop the type of relationship where they just enjoy being with one another. And there is a sense of, these are my guys, these are my people. We have so much that exists between us. Some good, some not so good. And you know, mostly good, mostly for the better. But enough has happened between us that we've got some bumps and bruises in that relationship as well. And so because of that, we have built something significant. It's the kind of relationship that is meant to last, and that even if there's a gap in the relationship for a while, there's something there that you can pick back up on because you have developed trust and shared experience. Over time. That's what camaraderie really looks like among men. camaraderie is a term that gets associated a lot of times with the military because we hear of camaraderie existing in that sort of environment very naturally. And that's because when you've got guys who are going to battle with each other. They very naturally have to develop trust, and they are put through the kinds of scenarios where that shared experience happens all the time. They're encountering the types of scenarios where they're developing memories, they're going through hardships together, they're facing challenges that they have to overcome. They are interdependent of one another as they go through those things, and so that kind of shared experience and trust develops very quickly in that kind of environment. camaraderie comes very naturally in those settings. But for most of us guys, we aren't living lives that look anything like that. We aren't encountering those kinds of scenarios, and we're not forced to be going through them with other men around us. And so we tend to live very quiet lives and very isolated lives that exist almost entirely without camaraderie. So we are going to have to be really intentional to develop that kind of camaraderie in our lives and in our relationships with other men. There's two key ways that I talk about in the book to be able to do that. The first is simply through adventure. Most of us as adult men don't have nearly enough. Adventure and fun in our lives. What little fun we do have is usually spent with our wife and children if we have a family or maybe on some kind of singles trip where we're mostly just interested in hooking up or pursuing a romantic or sexual relationship, right? It doesn't actually tend to have something to do with relationships with other guys, and yet that's exactly where men need to be spending their time pursuing adventure. Men need adventure in our lives with other men. That's the best place to practice. Building camaraderie is simply by doing something fun and challenging and maybe even a little dangerous with some other men. So thinking about how you could do that is just a matter of like, how do you get around a group of guys who's doing something that's a little bit outta your comfort zone, but that sounds kind of fun to you. Could you join a canoeing club and go canoeing down a river with some guys? Could you find a meetup with some guys who are checking out a local blacksmith and learning to, you know, forge a dagger or something really cool like that? Whatever it is for you. Find something that would be a cool way of getting around other guys who might be interested in the things that you're interested in, and just go do something fun with them, even if you don't know them that well yet, that might be the perfect way to start building some camaraderie with the guys in your life, or finding new guys to develop camaraderie with. Once you start having those kinds of relationships, though, you need to be able to take it to a deeper level, and that does require some specific effort in the book. It's what I call Getting naked doesn't actually mean taking your clothes off, okay? So don't, don't get too worried. What it means is though, that you've got to actually start exposing yourself to these other guys. Not your body, but your heart, your soul. You've actually got to start sharing the real you with some men in your life so that you begin developing trust. Now, I just trust about simple things like, hey, if I need somebody to come over and help me move a couch, I know who I can call. That's not real trust. You need trust with some guys who you're like, if my world is falling apart. And some past thing has come back up to haunt me and I am taken out by it. Who are the guys that I can actually talk to about that and that they're really gonna be able to help me? You need men in your life like that, and the only way to develop that kind of trust is by sharing with some guys your. By getting naked about the things that have formed you into the kind of man that you are today. How did you get there? What has shaped you into the man that you are? That's what getting Naked is all about. Now, when you add those two things together, adventure and getting naked, you start to develop that trust and shared experience over time. That really does begin to build camaraderie. That is the second part of what it looks like to be a tribe and a really key ingredient into building the kind of community that you want with other men. But the third ingredient is probably the one that's the most important and actually the one that's of most benefit to you. That third ingredient is what I call freedom, and it just means the ability to overcome the biggest obstacles in your life. Most of us as men know that we are tempted and probably pinned down by some really significant things in our lives. We've got some challenges that we've just not been able to overcome. Whether it's a porn addiction or a drinking habit, or anger towards your family members or gossip, or a sports betting problem, or, hey, you name it, you know what your issue or even issues might be. It's something that has a hold on you and feels like it's bigger than who you are. You are not free right now to be the man that you want to be because of some of these places in your life. A tribe needs to help surround you and fight for you to help you overcome those kinds of challenges, and that's what freedom really looks like. With that kind of freedom, you start to be able. To become the kind of man that you actually want to be, but you're not gonna get there on your own. You already know that you've tried to get there on your own, but these challenges are bigger than you. You cannot overcome them simply by your force of will alone. You need brothers around you who are going to fight for you and help you figure out a way forward through these obstacles. In the book, I talk about a couple key areas where freedom is most needed. One is in the area of lies. As men, we all tend to believe things about ourselves and about our world that simply aren't true. But because of our stories, they might have a ring of truth to them. And so they become these kind of crippling beliefs about ourselves that we simply don't know how to get out of because. For some reason, they feel true to us. We need the perspective that comes with other men around us who can help us see a better truth, a better reality about ourselves that they can point us to and help us be able to get there. But we also might need freedom from addictions, any kind of thing in our life, whether that's a substance or not can can be an addiction for us. If it has control over us. If it is the kind of thing that we just can't seem to get free from by our own effort, then it has become an addiction for us. That's the kind of thing where. You simply will not get out from under it without bringing it into the light. In the context of a very close community. You need other men fighting for you so that you can gain freedom from those types of addictions. Now, in the book, how to Be a Man, I go over some really specific ways to be able to address those lies and those addictions in the context of your tribe so that you can start to gain some freedom. But again, you need some direction on that and you need some men around you to be able to help you get there. You need manhood, camaraderie, and freedom, all in the context of a group of men so that you can become the kind of man that you actually want to be. These things are gonna help men everywhere be able to actually grow into men that are worth admiring and becoming. That's what we all want, right? That's what all of this discussion today about manhood is really all about, is how do we figure out what it means to be the kind of man that we know we want to be, but none of us seem to know how to get there. This book, how to Be a Man is meant to help you actually do that. So I want to encourage you to go pick up a copy of it right now. You can find it on Books Sellers just about anywhere. You can go on Amazon and get a paperback or an ebook copy of it. You can buy a few to be able to give to some friends or to some guys in your world that you know, I guarantee it is gonna be helpful to you and to them. I hope you will enjoy the book, and I would love to engage with you around the information that is in there. And in fact, I have created a way for us to be able to do that. If you read the book or if you have just watched this content and you're thinking, gosh, I would love to be part of something like that, I wish I had some men in my world that were pursuing those kinds of things. I have created a community for you to be a part of so that you can start pursuing that not only for yourself, but by connecting with other men who are trying to pursue it as well. The Manhood Tribes community is the place for you, and so you can check it out at manhood tribes.com/community. The book will actually give you a free code to be able to get one month of membership in our community for free. So yet another reason to go check out the book, the cost of the book is cheaper than a month of membership in the community. So it's a great way to be able to get an opt-in to something that you already know you want to be a part of, uh, and here's a way to be able to do it for cheap. So go get how to be a man and then go check out manhood tribes.com/community to get your name on the list for the next time that our community doors open. Now if you have enjoyed this content, I hope that you will like this video and subscribe to the channel, and I would love to discuss it with you. Would you write down in the comments what about camaraderie or freedom most appeals to you, and where do you feel like you most need that in your life right now? I look forward to engaging with what you have to say, and I look forward to talking to you again here next time on the Manhood Tribes Channel. I hope you'll go check out how to be a Man by Don Ross.