Ep 110 Why You and Your Dog Are More Emotionally Linked Than You Think

Does it sometimes feel like your dog can read your mind? Do they seem to pick up on every little worry or concern? Your dog’s behaviour struggles don’t have to be a mystery, or a source of frustration and anxiety - whether they find the world a little too much to handle, or are reactive to people or other dogs. In this episode, we’re tackling how some of the choices we make as owners can impact how our dogs feel and behave. As we get to grips with some fascinating new research into the impact of stress-scents and human body language on dog emotion and behaviour, we’ll explore some ways that you can empower yourself as an owner, and establish effective plans to keep your cool in stressful situations. Tune in now and uncover the secrets behind your dog’s confusing behaviour.

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Whether your dog is unpredictable with other dogs or predictably bad…

Whether it looks like freezing, barking, lunging or running away…

Whether you are just starting out on your dog-owning journey or your dog has been labelled as having a “behaviour problem”…

… this episode is for you and is going to give you huge insights!

Want to join the Help! My Dog Online HUB? Here's the link: www.helpmydog.com/hub

Dr Tom Mitchell is a world-renowned veterinarian, behaviourist and dog trainer and director of the Behavet behaviour clinic (rated Excellent on Trustpilot), which sees over 400 pet behaviour consultations each and every month no matter where you are in the world. In 2023, he founded Help! My Dog, an online dog behaviour learning platform to help even more owners all over the world and show that dog behaviour transformation is not only possible but it's FUN, with the right know-how!

Make sure to subscribe/follow the podcast for the free weekly episodes!

Useful Links:
Follow Help! My Dog on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helpmydogofficial/
Schedule a Consultation with Behavet: https://www.beha.vet/
Follow Behavet on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/behavet

Transcript

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And so we jumped up and were like, ah! And like ran away from the sofa. And people were like, they were most like all the people around, they were like halfway up off their chair or like they dashed away. They didn't know what they were running from. They didn't know there was a rat in the sofa. Yeah? Because danger cues are like super contagious. Before we dive in, a warning. The content of this podcast may not be appropriate for some young listeners. This is real life, and that means that sometimes it can be a little bit graphic. So listen on at your own peril. As a veterinarian, dog behaviourist, best-selling author and trainer, over the past decade I've had an obsession with transforming the behaviour of dogs. Understanding their brains and creating practical strategies that you can implement easily at home. I know all too well when the dream you imagined when you first got your dog is far from your daily reality. In fact, out of the blue, a few months ago, my little dog Gorse was bitten by a dog 20 times her size. And suddenly our life of stress-free walks, a calm and cuddly household, and being teammates was replaced with reactivity, anxiety, and worrying about what's around the next corner. I'm Dr. Tom. This is the Help My Dog Podcast, and this is me documenting that journey of transformation, sharing my knowledge and experience with you and having a few laughs along the way. Hello and welcome to this episode of the Help My Dog Podcast. And in this episode, we are turning our attention to the other end of the lead, okay? So if you have a dog who is um worried about the world, reactive to other dogs, people, or whatever else, then you might find that actually sometimes your behavior in those situations might impact your dog's behavior. Okay, and this can happen in two different forms. One is sort of more understood, one is less understood. The first form is that it can happen as a result of simply choices we make in the moment. Yeah? You know, an extreme example of that is if we start screaming, well, our dog's gonna be like, what on earth is going on? Yeah, they can learn very quickly. Ooh, human screams means danger. You don't have to be, you know, Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out, right? Um and and you know, the the key thing to be aware of is that danger cues are very contagious, okay? So for example, if um I was about to say that if this has ever happened to you, it probably hasn't happened to you. If it has, then you'll be able to relate. But imagine you're in a quiet library and um you're in a quiet library and three people, there are 30 people in the library, but three people jump up and run out of the library, right? Um in fact, actually, funny story, Madeline and I were these people. Um we were at uh we were in where were we? In Bali, and um we're in this restaurant and we were sat on a sofa um and the our food had just arrived, um, and we saw a rat um ran from the corner of the room, right? But didn't but ran at us, yeah. Gets even worse, ran at us, ran into a hole in the sofa that we were sat on. It was in there, right? Um, and so we jumped up and were like, ha! And and like ran away from the sofa, and people were like, they were most like all the people around us, they were like halfway up off their chair or like they dashed away. They didn't know what they were running from, they didn't know there was a rat in the sofa, yeah? Because danger cues are like super contagious and it makes sense evolutionarily, doesn't it? Right? That actually um fear spreads much more quickly than confidence because that keeps you alive. And so we've got to be aware that our dogs become great studies of us. They learn that when we tighten our shoulders um or or tighten the lead, or when we hold our breath, that that is potentially a predictor of stuff happening, yeah? Potential danger cues. Um and um and so we we we've got that side of it, okay? The other side of it that we um that we have is um it is that actually it's now been shown that the scent of stressed human can influence a dog's optimism. Yeah? So there was a study done in 2024 that um looked at um doing it putting dogs through effectively something called a judgment bias test. It it assesses a dog's um tendencies towards being pessimistic, in other words, perceiving something to be negative or something to worry about, or optimistic, perceiving that same thing to be something positive or good. Um and in the 2024 study from um Bristol Vet School, what they did is they got um dogs to do that in the um in the absence of the scent of a stressed human and in the presence of the scent of a stressed human. Yeah? Now, importantly, this human was not their owner, it was a stranger the scent was from. Okay, and what they found is that when the dog was presented or or exposed to the stressy stranger smell, right? Um they carried out the test in a more pessimistic way. In other words, they scored more pessimistically from the judgment bias test. A bit of a generalization, but just for your understanding. Um, and so we also know that there are potentially some in some non-behavioural elements of us, um, we humans, that might influence and sway how a dog perceives a potential threat. Okay? Um and so we've got these these kinds of two ways that we can actually make our dog's experience worse in those situations, their emotional experience worse in those situations. What on earth do we do about it? Okay, well, number one, being aware of what your danger cues are can be really powerful. In other words, what do you do when you get stressed? What do you do when you see a dog on a walk and you didn't want that dog to be there? What do you do when you maybe start to panic on a walk or notice a potential danger on a walk? Is it that you tighten the lead? Is it that you hold your breath? Is it that you um start walking faster or moving in a certain way? Um and the thing is that our dogs are very clever and what they will do is they will start to become potentially more vigilant, potentially perceive things to be something more likely to worry about when we're doing those things. What do we do about it? Well, we're going to, at home, probably to start with, purposefully do those things like tighten the lead, yeah, gently. Um like lift our shoulders, like tense body language, yeah. Or maybe we say something like, good boy, good boy, please make out. Um, and what we're instead going to do, rather than leave that just as the negative consequence, we're going to deliver a positive outcome. We're effectively going to countercondition these danger cues to be instead safety cues, positive outcome cues, right? Because, yeah, we it would be lovely if we didn't do any of those things, but we are also all human and we are just like our dogs, experiencing emotions and implementing coping strategies just the same as they are. Yeah. And so actually, if we can get our dogs to meet us halfway and be like, look, when I do this thing, it doesn't mean danger, it actually means peace food is coming, and we can build that out on two walks, then maybe when the actual scenario happens, we're gonna be five steps ahead of them. Yeah? So that'd be tip number one. Tip number two: any situation where you might encounter challenges or problems, we get all of our owners to figure out okay, if this happens, then what are you going to do? Right? We call them if-thens, right? If dog appears, then I am going to implement this strategy from the help my dog hub. If dog appears, then I am going to do this thing that I learnt in the help my dog hub. Yeah? If person approaches my dog, then I am going to do this thing that I learned on the help my dog podcast. Yeah? And the key is that if you go into a situation and you already have your if-thens in place, one, you stop worrying about if they're going to happen. You've got a plan. You've already made the plan. You do not need to think in the moment, you just need to do the thing, right? And two, it stops the overthinking in the moment. Yeah. The challenge that we have with our human brains is that um thought happens. Oh my god, what if this goes wrong? For example, yeah. Oh my god, there's a dog over there, what do I do? Right? Oh my god, my dog's about to react. The emotion then comes about of fear, anxiety in us, I'm talking about. That emotion will dissipate in the absence of us thinking about the problem again. And what does the human brain do? It goes, oh my god, the dog's still there. Oh my god, what do I do now? What do I, yeah? And so it the cool thing about if-thens is it's like, look, if that happens, then I'm gonna do this. And in turn, our emotional response actually is much is is is de-escalated because we're not stuck in the cycle of thought, emotion, thought, emotion, thought, emotion. We get stuck in emotional states because we get stuck in thought patterns. Yeah? The the danger has left the building, but our human brains are still thinking about the danger, right? Um, and so we break the cycle, um, we break the cycle that way. So, number one was you are going to teach a dog that danger cues from you are actually positive outcome cues. Number two, tip was you're gonna have your if-then scenarios. You're not gonna leave the house without deciding if this happens, then I am gonna do whatever it is that I'm gonna do, right? Third um tip that I've got for you is hey guys, I just want to take a moment to answer a question that has been coming in in literally 10 emails today, and that is how can we help you with your dog's behavior struggle, whether that be reactivity, separation, anxiety, resource guarding, maybe you've got multi-dog household struggle right now, maybe your dog's just so over aroused on a walk that they just can't listen to you and they're chasing everything inside. Like, can I get Tom's help? Um, and the answer is that actually you can, and you can do that by booking a behavet behavior consultation. That's where literally my team give you the plan on how to transform your struggle and get you to that dream that that made you get a dog in the first place, right? Your world's got smaller and smaller and smaller, and actually it doesn't need to be that way. You just need to reach out for help. Now, a couple of things to say on that. First of all, if you're insured, if your dog's insured with Pet Plan, Kennel Club, Agria, or many pets, we actually do direct claims with them, which means that that's covered by your insurance. So you don't you don't pay out of your pocket, your insurance covers that. Um and the second thing to say is that we have loads of options if you're insured with another provider, or if your dog's not insured at all, that's also totally fine. We have loads of options that we've developed to make this so accessible for you. Um because we're aware that you've already invested a load of time and a load of money in getting your dog, looking after your dog, caring for your dog. But the last thing we want is for you to have done all that and still not be living the life that you deserve with your dog. And we know we can get you there. So all you need to do is go to the Behave Vet website, and the way to do that is go B-E-H-A.V-E-T. That's behot vet, and it will take you there, or just Google Behave Vet, right? Um, and you can get scheduled in and we can literally get you booked in for a consultation as soon as possible. We normally can accommodate it within a week, right? So that you can be getting to your dream ASAP. Third um tip that I've got for you is our lives as dog owners change as if our dogs have struggles, especially if they aren't reactive on walks. When we change the meaning of events that happen on walks, and what I mean by that is here's an example You head out on a walk, and the goal is that you don't see any other dogs, let's say, for this walk, but you see another dog, right? And you've already counterconditioned your danger cues, you're you've implemented your if-then, right? But then there's one final piece of the puzzle, and that is that you walk away from that and you've got to decide what meaning do you put on that event, yeah, where your dog saw the other dog and yeah, they reacted, right? What meaning do you put on that event? If we're not intentional with this, the meaning that we'll often put on event is on events are, oh, that is so annoying that that happened. I can't believe that we were so unlucky that that happened to us. I can't believe that other owner behaved in that way. I can't believe that now I'm gonna be 10 steps back, yeah, and all of my hard work has been ruined. Now I'm giving extreme examples of meaning, but you we've all been there, haven't we, right? But what it and and with that, you come away from that, you feel deflated, you probably feel demotivated. That's probably gonna change the trajectory of your training for the next few days because you're now less motivated and energized and positive yourself, yeah? Um that's probably gonna make you give more danger cues the next time you you go out as well, right? Because you're gonna be more um you're gonna be more worried about the outcome. Because we put that meaning on it. What if we put the meaning on that of it's just information? Huh. It's information. My the the world gave me the opportunity to learn that my dog still isn't capable of of not reacting to a dog if they're 10 meters away. That's information. I'm approaching this as a scientist, and I can go away from that and go, thank you for the information. Yeah, and I can do something with that information. That's a useful meaning, right? Ha. Sounds like my next challenge is to figure out how I can teach my dog to be cool about dogs 10 meters away. Thanks. Yeah? It's so different, isn't it? It's so different. And and one, it's kinder to you to apply like empowering meaning to these things, and it's also kinder to your dog because you don't get disruptions in your training journey, yeah? And you don't get stuck in this vicious cycle of a worsening narrative about your dog's behavior simply because we're doing this thing that we love to do as humans, which is fortune tell. But the thing is about we humans, gotta lovers, is that we always fortune tell in a negative way, never in a positive way. Yeah? When something bad happens and our dogs react, we go, oh, he's reactive and oh, his reactivity's worsening, it's only gonna get worse. And I had a dog that was reactive once and the, you know, that it never got better, and this is it. And we make that bad experience a predictor of the future forevermore. Yeah? And what happens when something good happens? What happens when your dog sees the other dog and doesn't react? What does our human brain do? We go, oh, it must not have seen it. Yeah? We go, oh, it must have been a fluke. Yeah. Um, and that's because we only fortune tell in a negative way. But it's actually a choice that we do that, yeah? It's it's our we if we don't set our intention, then our human brain will do that. But if we're intentional, then our human brain can actually do the opposite. We can apply empowering meaning to events, we can fortune tell in a positive way, right? And in turn, what we do is we actually um create consistent transformation and that exponential growth in your dog's skills that I've talked about before. But we've got to get our mindset right first, yeah? To make that happen. So, guys, go forth, implement those three tips. Let's get that other end of the lead sorted before we revisit um revisit the dog end of the lead. Um, and um, and I think that's what we'll do next week. So we will see you next time.