072 - When the Body Heals But the Soul Still Hurts Laura Esquivel

In this episode, Laura Esquivel shares her journey as an advocate against sex trafficking through her work with Atlas Free. She discusses the organization's mission to create a global network of organizations fighting trafficking, the importance of community involvement, and how personal experiences in the outdoors have shaped her faith and advocacy. Laura emphasizes the power of individual actions and the impact of saying 'yes' to opportunities that can lead to significant change. In this conversation, Laura Esquivel shares her journey of connecting with God through nature, overcoming personal challenges, and navigating the aftermath of a life-altering car accident. She emphasizes the importance of starting small in building habits, the significance of community support, and the healing power of vulnerability. Laura's story highlights the journey of finding purpose in adversity and the role of faith in overcoming anxiety and trauma.

Connect with Laura and Atlas Free :

@getoutdoorsforfreedom , @atlasfree , www.atlasfree.org/fundraisers

Transcript

McKenzie Smith (00:03)
On today's episode of My Valley, His Victory, we have Laura Esquivel. She is a dedicated advocate with nearly a decade of experience combating sex trafficking. Since 2017, she has inspired thousands to raise millions of dollars in heightened awareness of this critical issue. Balancing her professional commitments with her personal life, she is a devoted wife and a mother of three sons.

Her unwavering passion lies in eradicating sex trafficking and empowering individuals to utilize their resources for positive change. Through her work with Atlas Free, she strives to inspire others to take action, believing that everyone has the ability to contribute to a better world. Thanks so much for being with us today, Laura.

Laura Esquivel (00:44)
Yeah, I'm so glad to be here. It's so funny hearing your bio read back to you.

McKenzie Smith (00:51)
I totally agree with that.

Laura Esquivel (00:52)
I'm like,

that girl sounds cool.

McKenzie Smith (00:56)
Hey, that girl is you.

Laura Esquivel (00:58)
Girl,

he's cool. So funny.

McKenzie Smith (01:01)
I love it.

So I know that our listeners are a little bit familiar with Atlas Free because we had Jenny on, but kind of from a totally different perspective. So I would love for you to just dive into a little bit more about you and a little bit more about Atlas Free.

Laura Esquivel (01:18)
Yeah, absolutely. Well, I have been, ⁓ and I'll dive in a little bit further down the road of how I got involved with Atlas Free, but just at a high level, I've been on staff with Atlas Free since the end of 2018. And I've been on the development team really the entire time just working to bring people. ⁓

into this into this cause using what they have their resources. So if they love to run or love to hike or love to climb mountains, they can utilize it as a way to raise funds and raise awareness or if they love hosting dinners, they can do that. And then I also work

heavily with our church partners and corporate partners and just really anybody who will lend me their ear, I will say, okay, this is the issue. This is why you should care and this is what you get to do about it. Yeah. Yeah. And a little bit about Atlas Free. So Atlas Free has been around since 2012. It was founded by our president and CEO, Jeremy Valerand, when he saw the

McKenzie Smith (02:12)
Yeah.

Laura Esquivel (02:26)
horrific issue of trafficking on a trip to India, came back and just wanted to do something about it. And he did that very thing that summer, he was climbing a mountain and Mount Rainier to be exact. And he said, you know, people raise money, they run and they raise money. Why can't I climb this mountain and raise money for this issue? So he did that. He rallied his friends. He said, okay, this is what we're doing. And they ended up raising thousands of dollars to

to work in the anti-trafficking space. And so he found organizations to partner with, sent the money that direction and did that for a few years and found this common theme that there was a lot of really incredible organizations out there in the world that were doing good things in their local community, in their country, in their region. But no one was really cross collaborating and talking with each other and actually resourcing each other.

coming under this umbrella where they can feel like they are being trained and supported and lifted up as they are boots on the ground in their specific area. So that's when he launched Atlas Free with this vision to build a global network of organizations across the globe that are all working together and unite a united front to fight sex trafficking.

McKenzie Smith (03:45)
Yeah, thank you so much for that explanation. And I think it's so cool what he realized. People are out here running or walking for, you name it, health. I feel like when I was a kid, we did a lot of walk for MS or all these health things, cancer, all the things. it's like, that's great way to get people active and donating and doing something.

Laura Esquivel (03:47)
Yeah.

Yeah.

yeah.

Absolutely, I think that there's a, when you hear of

the issue of sex trafficking, there's this visceral response. You're just like, ⁓ I have to do something about it. And that's where I found myself in my early 20s. I heard about the issue and I was ready to sell everything, move to a foreign country and start kicking down the doors and ⁓ bringing people into freedom.

And so there's people I've often talked to and they're like, how can I be part of like a sting or a raid or, you know, go and do the thing? And I was like, well, like that's not really, you know, what is necessarily helpful right now. Yeah. But you can do something and you can actually put, you know, physical activity to it. And so when people go and they do a hard thing and they're challenging themselves physically,

McKenzie Smith (04:45)
You're not gonna be helpful there.

Laura Esquivel (04:59)
It kind of scratches that edge of like, I'm doing something and this is hard and it's for a hard issue.

McKenzie Smith (05:06)
Yeah, absolutely.

Are most of the organizations, this is just, I'm illiterate on this topic, I don't know anything about it, are most of the organizations outside of the US, or like where is like the bulk of this problem on money going if there is a place?


Laura Esquivel (05:53)
⁓ That's great. Okay. ⁓ Yeah, so great question. So we're working in 27 countries around the globe and we have ⁓ over 100, we call them network members, which are the organizations that are working in their local context. When we first started as Atlas Free, we had two network members, so two 501C3s, NGOs that were ⁓


Laura Esquivel (06:23)
working in Asia specifically, and we've grown to over 100, 109 organizations to be exact. And 60 of those are right here in the United States. And there's a large concentration in Asia, which some of the largest amounts of exploitation and trafficking happen in that region. So it's all over and we really have to have a collective

front in each region in order to end this thing globally. So if we're not looking at it holistically from a global approach, we'll never end it in a particular region or ⁓ in a local community. I often get the question, well, what are you doing here locally in my city? And trafficking is happening in this city. And so what is Atlas Free doing about it?

⁓ And I answer that question with, well, we have a strategic and a holistic and a global approach to ending it, because we will never be able to end this issue on a global scale if we don't fight it with a holistic and strategic approach. And that ladders down to the local community. ⁓ So right here in the Tri-Cities, actually, we have two network members ⁓ that are working

On the front lines, they're working with victims that are coming out of trafficking and ⁓ giving them opportunity to receive vocational training and set them up to never experience a life of trafficking again.

McKenzie Smith (08:01)
Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. Kudos to y'all for all that you're doing and just like, I like what you said, you know, it's, we can try to band-aid it in all these different places, but it's like, have to kind of work from the top and come down. And so I think that's, that's ⁓ a good plan and it.

Laura Esquivel (08:18)
Absolutely.

McKenzie Smith (08:22)
it is needed, you know, and like I said, am not the first person I don't know much about human trafficking, but I know enough to know that. ⁓

Laura Esquivel (08:28)
Yeah, I didn't either when I first got into this. I mean, I was greener than green green. And,

⁓ but it's just been, yeah, years of, of learning, having conversations and inviting people in that you just, learn more and, and goodness, the more that I learned, the more that I want to fight this thing hard.

McKenzie Smith (08:49)
Yeah, absolutely.

So outside of Atlas Free, that's your job, that's your career. I know it's what you're super passionate about as well, but tell us a little bit about Laura and who she is and what she likes to do. The golden question.

Laura Esquivel (08:56)
Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, who am I? I know the

golden question. Gosh, I love, I think that I love joy and I love bringing joy to people, to my family. I start with that because that kind of ladders down to a lot of things that I love to do and I love to...

get outside, that just, that brings me joy. When I'm able to bring people along with me, that brings them joy. I mentioned this in my bio, but I have three boys, 16, 14, and 11, and my husband, who is a pastor of a church here in the Tri-Cities, Hope Tri-Cities, and we have been married, my goodness, next month will be 20 years.

I don't even know how that all happened. ⁓ But I would be, yeah, I love, I love physically being active. ⁓ I love spontaneity. I love road trips. Gosh, I don't know. It's such a funny question to answer. And I probably answer it different, but with the same theme each time. Yeah.

McKenzie Smith (10:00)
Congrats.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, that's great. I love it. It's always a hard question to answer and writing a bio is always strange too. It's like, well, I don't know, like I kind of do this and I kind of do that and yeah, you know, it's like, I can put all my professional things, but what about my personal things? So, all right.

Laura Esquivel (10:31)
Mm.

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Totally.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like to bake. I'm not a baker. And I mean,

yeah, so that's, you one thing that I don't like to do.

McKenzie Smith (10:54)
Yeah,

hey, those are all good things. So you said you like to road trip, you said you like to push yourself physically and, you know, be in the outdoors. Kind of what does that specifically look like for you? Are you a skier? Are you a mountain biker? Are you a hiker? Are you a climber? What's your jam?

Laura Esquivel (11:02)
Hmm?

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, my jam for a lot of years was ⁓ long distance running outside. So did several marathons, half marathons, really anything that ⁓ was endurance. So I loved going out on really long hikes and getting in the outdoors that way. Yeah. Yeah. I grew up skiing. So when I was 11 years old, I

McKenzie Smith (11:32)
Type 2 fun.

Laura Esquivel (11:39)
on my first pair of skis and would be a night skier every Friday night with my BFF growing up. so that was really fun. Laid the skis down in my early 20s when I, well, not early 20s, like late 20s when I started having kiddos. And for whatever reason, I just said skiing is going to be too expensive for a family. So I said, better lay these down. But I still do like want to maybe venture out again.

to the skiing, but I love paddle boarding. I just went out yesterday morning on the Columbia River and did some paddle boarding and I climbed my first ⁓ glaciated peak, Mount Baker, three years ago. And maybe I'll do that again, but literally like get me outside, call me happy.

McKenzie Smith (12:28)
I love

it. I love it. All endurance things sounds like for the most part. The Physically Challenge really came out there for you and the Type 2 Fun, so.

Laura Esquivel (12:32)
Yeah.

yeah. Yeah. I'm like, make me earn that burger

afterwards. Not that you have to earn food, but like just there's something about like a big old burger and fries and perhaps a cider at the end of a really long, intense, yeah, workout.

McKenzie Smith (12:47)
Yeah.

Yeah,

yeah, there's something about like actually like needing that fuel or that food, you know what mean? It's like, yeah, I could go and eat one of those right now. But there's something different when you're like, oh, no, I just burned 8000 calories.

Laura Esquivel (13:01)
There's something different. This is like, right. I'm

like, I need every ounce of this beef in my body right now.

McKenzie Smith (13:09)
Yeah,

yeah, absolutely. So Laura, talk to us a little bit about how the outdoors plays a role specifically in your relationship with Christ.

Laura Esquivel (13:20)
Yeah.

I've had many moments of like feeling, when I feel kind of just, need clarity in a season, I will go on a long walk or a, when I was doing longer distance running and we can, get to that a little later of why I'm not distance running as much anymore. But a long hike.

something where I don't put any earbuds in. I just ⁓ let myself be in God's creation. And it's, I mean, some of the most profound moments of clarity, ⁓ moments where he just reveals himself to me in a closer way.

there's a greater confidence that I feel in just life in general and how we have so much self-negative talk. I swear it's like it's something that people battle every single day. ⁓ But the connection to his voice is so much deeper and stronger in the outdoors. And I don't know exactly why.

that is, but I've had thoughts, you know, as I'm looking around and seeing like, a beautiful Alpine lake or a beautiful sunrise, sunset, ⁓ and just the quietness of it and that I am one person in the midst of a sea of 8 billion human beings. And there's likely many others just like me on the other side of the world or in their various location that are having a moment.

just like me and it feels so powerful and so strong and so connected to the Lord and he's doing that for so many other people. And I feel that when I am just looking at the vastness of his creation and amongst the quiet and so, yeah.

McKenzie Smith (15:35)
Yeah, absolutely. I feel like I've heard it said and I don't know if it's, you know, true. I obviously don't know, you know, God, you know, like in the, in the way, but it's like, he's, he's talking all the time, but he's not going to shout. He's not going to shout, you know? And so it's like for us to get outside and like quiet the noise and like actually be tuned in to listening. You know, I think that there's just so much more room for us to be able to hear. It's not that he's not speaking, but he's not going to be like,

Laura Esquivel (15:49)
yeah. No.

Okay.

Right.

McKenzie Smith (16:05)
you know, screaming from the rooftops, like, listen to me. Now, I think he does do that about certain things. And so that's why I said, like, I don't know that it's fully true, but I think in general, you know, it's like, he's not going to beg for your attention every single day, day in and day out, you know.

Laura Esquivel (16:07)
Right. I just, yeah, yeah, Well, he's, well, he's, yeah. Totally.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And he's so kind. knows what you need in every moment. ⁓ But it's up to us to ⁓ step into that and say, I receive what you have for me today, And that takes quieting ourselves and stepping away from the noise. And I stopped ⁓ listening to any music or podcasts or anything on my long runs and hikes.

McKenzie Smith (16:35)
for sure.

Laura Esquivel (16:51)
probably when I was 25 years old. So it's been a hot second and it was the best, the best thing. I mean, I have like a voice, you you have your little voice recorder on your phone. I cannot tell you how many times I'm like, because just he's, you know, downloaded and it's anything from like wild hair ideas to like, Laura, I love you. And this is why.

McKenzie Smith (17:14)
Yeah, yeah, I agree. I've stopped listening to a lot whenever I'm outside and there's just my brain. It's just crazy. Like it can it actually has room to like think outside of the normal day and to like, you know, you have more creativity and then I feel like you. Yeah, there's so much that happens when you actually sit with your thoughts and don't have something distracting you.

Laura Esquivel (17:39)
Yeah,

we don't do it often enough. ⁓

McKenzie Smith (17:43)
So can you share a specific story about a way in which God has maybe revealed Himself to you or spoken to you in the outdoors?

Laura Esquivel (17:45)
you

Yeah,

yeah. ⁓ This one is tied very much to where I'm at right now and working for Atlas Free and a lot of the work that I do in the anti-trafficking space. So I was ⁓ out on this particular stretch of trail. Well, let me back up for a half second. ⁓ I led a backpacking trip.

back in 2016 with a group of ladies. was so excited to do it. It was gonna be my first, well, my third backpacking trip, but it was one that was going into this area. It's called the Enchantments. It's a very well-known section of trail here in Washington state. And I had read about it since I was 16 years old. I was that girl who was reading the Alpine Lake Wilderness Guide when I was a teenager. It's like, where do I wanna go?

⁓ And this one, felt like I felt like I was reading about outer space. Like I may as well have been reading about Mars and like traveling there because it just seemed like so out of reach the way that they were describing the trail. like, I have to do that one day. ⁓ you know, life goes by and nobody wanted to do this like grand adventure with me and I wasn't going to do it by myself because whatever, too intimidating, la la. So finally, the time arrives to

to do this backpacking trip. had secured permits to camp at Colchuk Lake at the base of Asgard Pass, and I had it all planned out. We were gonna, on day two, we were gonna go up the pass into the core zone and experience all that the enchantments had to offer. So get up on the second morning and it's time to climb Asgard Pass. And this is the only window that we had because we had to leave the next day. And...

The weather was supposed to be beautiful and we woke up and it was completely socked in. I have never seen clouds that thick. When I pulled myself out of my tent, I was like, are you kidding me? Really, Lauren? Like this on this day. So I was so disappointed, but we got up. I brought the ladies together. I was like, okay, not ideal.

weather for us today, but who wants to attempt it and maybe the clouds will clear by the time we get to the top and we can still experience. And they're like, yes, let's try it. So leading these girls up a very hard, I mean, you climb like 20, think it's like 2,400, 2,800 feet of elevation in three fourths of a mile. It's just so steep and...

So I'm encouraging them, the clouds are not clearing and we finally get to the top and you can't see from like me to, you know, a person that's sitting maybe five feet away from me. So we're huddled behind this rock, so cold. And I see like literally just like this goat walks right in front of me and I hadn't, didn't see it coming. And she's like, oh my gosh, there's a goat. Like that is how thick this fog was. And so I was like, all right, ladies,

The enchantments are not on our list today. We need to go back down the path. And ⁓ that's just what our day is. And they were so sad. there was grumbling that was happening, which I can understand. Everybody was feeling their feels. And I'm trying to be as positive as I can without being Pollyanna annoying person. And we get to have our feelings. So we make it down.

McKenzie Smith (21:31)
You

Laura Esquivel (21:37)
And we had this great conversation about disappointment and how we respond to disappointment. so that's like part A of the story. And I look to one of my friends, I was like, I have to see the enchantments, our permits, we can't secure anymore this summer. And I said, so do you want to come back with me in two weeks and do it all in one day?

And she's like, heck yeah. So that is what we did. Because of the fog, because of the disappointment, we made the plan to go back and do it all in one day. That never would have been my plan to begin with. And so two weeks later, we come back and it's gorgeous weather. mean, couldn't have had the more better conditions that day. So we...

start out early, climb up the pass, get into the core zone. It's all that I thought it would be and more. And just like a kid in a candy shop experiencing the fullness of God's creation. And so we get about 10 miles in and we're sitting at this beautiful, one of the many Alpine lakes that we were hitting that day. And I'm not thinking about anything in the world, like the problems of the world, nothing. Like I'm just like.

fully focused on like, God, you are so, so good to have created this so that we could experience it. And I hear so clearly, like I've never, I don't hear often the audible like voice of the Lord. I think that he speaks in many different ways, but this was like wild. Like, whoa, did somebody just come out of a bush and say that to me?

But it was as clear, you're going to take people here and it's going to be for a bigger purpose. And I was like, hmm, that is super interesting. And so I looked at my hiking video, was like, Leslie, think there's something really special about this place and God is doing something and he's stirring something. I'm not sure what it is, but ⁓ I'm all ears. And so we completed

completed the trail and ⁓ got to the end, which was a funny story because we didn't have a ride back to our car. because we didn't plan, I mean, we just didn't plan it well at all. I think we were thinking like, let's just go up to the Corazon and then head back down Asgard Pass to our car. No, we wanted to go all the way through because it was just like, you never see bugs life where it's like, I just go to the light. That was us. Like just a little bit further.

And so we had to hitchhike and just all the things. was kind of crazy. But that's a complete side note. ⁓ So I get off the trail and I just start praying over the next few days. Like, what are you saying? What do you have? And I was already in that season of life of my kids were at the age where they were, my youngest was starting kindergarten. And so was like, all right, let, you know.

McKenzie Smith (24:27)
Yeah.

Laura Esquivel (24:51)
raising them, you know, my husband's a pastor, we're leading a church, like I don't need to be doing anything else. That's enough in itself. But I just had this stirring and he quickly brought me back to my early 20s when I first heard about the issue of sex trafficking and the exploitation of individuals around the world. And I was like, that, I want to put time and energy.

into seeing more people come into freedom. And so that was the connection. It was like you can use what you love to do. And there's so many parallels that you can draw when you're leading people in the outdoors, doing something physically hard, and they're in a place where they feel the most

free where I feel the most free and you're attaching that to bringing freedom to others around the world. And so was like, all right, amazing. Here we go. Now what?

McKenzie Smith (25:57)
Yeah, and you have now led multiple groups through the Enchantments, right? Through Atlas Free.

Laura Esquivel (26:02)
Yeah.

Yeah. So ⁓ from that time, I did what anybody who doesn't know what they're doing does, either YouTube it or Google search. And so I did, Google search anti-trafficking organizations in Washington state because I was looking for some, I knew I wanted to raise awareness. I knew I wanted to raise funds, but I didn't have an organization to attach it to at all.

McKenzie Smith (26:12)
Ha ha ha.

Laura Esquivel (26:30)
So I began my research because I wanted to partner with an organization that was doing good work, was ⁓ stewarding finances well, all the things. So I had these boxes that I wanted to check. And ⁓ I came across Atlas Free and there was many organizations that I found that were doing good work. But Atlas Free continued to be highlighted.

to me because of the holistic approach and that they weren't just coming in and parachuting down into different local communities and saying, hey, we're gonna come and save the world. But they were coming alongside those that were already there in their local area doing the good work and wanting to bolster and strengthen the efforts. so ⁓ loved that. And I went onto the website and I said, okay, create a fundraiser.

And after creating the fundraiser, I started writing a Facebook post because that's what you do anytime you want to get something out there, just take it to social media. So I was composing my post and I probably hit backspace like a million times because I was like, no, that's dumb. OK, who wants to go into the enchantments and do a really long hike?

McKenzie Smith (27:39)
you

Laura Esquivel (27:46)
do it to fight sex trafficking. No, no, no, no, no, no, that's dumb. Nobody's gonna get that. And so finally, I compose something that I feel like, okay, I can post this. And my husband is just on the other side of the counter in the kitchen. He's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. And he's like, are you sitting there just not posting this? He's like, why are you not posting this? I was like, because I'm nervous. I don't know if anybody's gonna wanna join. What do people think? All the things.

And then I was reminded, remember what I said in that moment in front of that Alpine Lake, you heard me, so do it. So I just hit post and ⁓ it was like the first, I said the first seven people to donate a hundred bucks, you can come with me to the enchantments and we'll raise money and awareness, blah, blah, blah. And in the first 45 minutes,

18 people donated $100 and I was like, ⁓ okay. Like this is amazing, but also now what? Now what do I do? I can't take all 18 of you into this trail. so...

So long story short, I figured out, right, if I enlist one of my buddies and she can, you we can do it back to back days and we can make sure we have the group size of seven to eight people and not go above that. so I ended up hiking it two days in a row in 2017. Yeah, which was wild and I don't recommend ⁓ anyone do that. But because I love endurance and I was an endurance athlete and I was trained and, you know, trained up for it.

McKenzie Smith (29:23)
you

Laura Esquivel (29:32)
it worked out, but definitely got to the end of that and was like wildly exhausted. And people were like, when are we doing this again? I was like, never, we're never doing this again. And, ⁓ but sure enough, like the Lord was just so, so kind and he's, you know, sent people my way, sending me text messages, like, can't like, we can help you. Like this would, you know, be amazing. And so ended up doing it the next year. And with those two summers combined, ended up raising over a hundred thousand dollars for Atlas Free and, and the fight against sex trafficking.

And then that's when they started having conversations with me about coming on the team and continuing to mobilize people. And so when I came on in 2018 and it's since went from raising hundreds of thousands of dollars to since 2017, this adventure philanthropy, which we call it community has raised $4.5 million since 2017. So wild, wild.

McKenzie Smith (30:27)
Wow. Wow.

Wow, that's amazing. Absolutely amazing. And it's, it's crazy to think like, it's crazy to think like what one's person, what one person's obedience can open the door to, you know, and that's not to say that, you know, some of this wouldn't have happened without you, but it's like you sitting there and being like, people aren't going to care. It's like you do it because I told you to do it.

Laura Esquivel (30:32)
Yeah.

Totally.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

McKenzie Smith (30:57)
and now look at

all the things that I've brought through this, you know? And yeah, that's just insane.

Laura Esquivel (31:00)
Yeah, yeah. So many stories,

so many individual stories of one yes impacting another yes impacting another yes impacting another yes. It's humbling.

McKenzie Smith (31:09)
Yep. Yes. Yes.

So it's always encouraging. It's like if you have something that you're like scared to do, it's like just have the courage to do it and say yes, because you don't know and it's not your responsibility. Like if God told you to do it, like your responsibility to say yes and not have to worry about the outcome.

Laura Esquivel (31:30)
Right. Totally.

that's the beautiful part of it is that takes the pressure off, right? We tend to just pick so much on and put it on our shoulders. And if this fails, it's on me. And you know what? If you fail, that's research and development. You get to fail, and you get to figure out a better way to do it and get back up. And that's what makes us so resilient and so strong. But if we stay... ⁓

McKenzie Smith (31:48)
Yeah.

Laura Esquivel (31:58)
stay back and we don't just do the next right thing. That's what I often tell people. like just do the next right thing like whatever that looks like and because you'll be further than you were two days ago if you just do the next right thing.

McKenzie Smith (32:06)
Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for sharing that story. And wow, just amazing to see, see that whole story develop. ⁓ my light died.

Laura Esquivel (32:19)
Yeah.

Yeah. you just went,

yeah, you just went a little dark there.

McKenzie Smith (32:34)
⁓ It's dead. ⁓ it's back alive.

Laura Esquivel (32:39)
There we go.

McKenzie Smith (32:41)
That's the problem. no, it's gonna die again. Hold on one second. I'm gonna open my windows.

Laura Esquivel (32:44)
No worries, no worries.

McKenzie Smith (32:57)
We'll go windows today. ⁓ Okay. Remind me real quick where you live. I know you said Tri-Cities, but I don't know where that is. It's in Washington, but.

Laura Esquivel (32:59)
All right.

Yeah. Yeah, where's that? Yeah, it's

in Washington. So the official city that I live in is Richland, Washington. So Tri-Cities is Richland, Pasco, and Kennewick, and it is located about an hour north of the Oregon border. It's like central Washington, I guess. Yeah.

McKenzie Smith (33:25)
Okay.

Is it like big city? ⁓

Laura Esquivel (33:30)
It's like medium. It's not big city. It's like a lot of farming out here, a lot of wineries. ⁓ I think the collective Tri-Cities as a whole has like 350,000 people, but each city is obviously smaller than that. But it's like this one big people, that's why they call it the Tri-Cities, because you literally feel like it's just this one big spread out. There's like no downtown area. It's just, it's kind of an interesting, unique.

McKenzie Smith (33:41)
Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

Laura Esquivel (33:59)
little spot, but I love it. It has 300 days of sunshine, so that's our claim to fame. We will take it. yeah, it is. Yeah, people are like, it's so dreary up there. I'm like, not on my side of the house. It's cool. No.

McKenzie Smith (34:04)
That's great for Washington.

Okay,

So Laura, I know that you live in Washington, but you live in, I'm not going to say a big city. We've talked a lot about experiencing God in these big outdoor adventures and, you know, being in some amazing, beautiful bucket list places like the Enchantments. What are some practical ways that people can start connecting with God on an everyday basis through his creation?

Laura Esquivel (34:38)
Gosh, yeah, if you're at the point where you know, like if hiking hasn't ever been a part of your life or even getting outside and walking it's it blows my mind how how so many people don't actually get outside and Don't realize like how much that can really truly benefit you. I mean they say vitamin D all the things yada yada But I would say shoot just is there 20 minutes that you can find

a spot in your area, whether it's a park or next to a body of water, something that just gets you moving. ⁓ I don't know if anybody's ever read the book Atomic Habits. It's a good one. But it's that principle of just like placing, doing something that's attainable. Like we all have these like big audacious goals that we sometimes set for ourselves and we don't reach them because they're

Unreachable because there's a lot of different steps that have to happen before you before you get there and so backing it up and just doing one additional thing in your day that becomes a habit and ⁓ That's I mean when I started getting getting outdoors it was my first hike was when I was 15 years old I think it was and I didn't realize that I actually loved it until I until I did it

And that became something that I wanted to have as part of my life. so whatever that looks like, you wanna try paddle boarding, if you start running, start by just doing three minutes of it. If somebody tries to go out and run a mile and they've never run before, they'll be like, I hate running. People tell me, I hate running. I'm like, probably because you're trying to do too much running all at once. just do a small little bite size.

McKenzie Smith (36:23)
you

Laura Esquivel (36:33)
But and then I would encourage people to do it without noise. Get out there and it's easy to put on the music that like brings you motivation or whatever, but just try doing it without noise. Cause we have enough of that, I swear. The amount of time that can be wasted on just like scrolling through dumb reels on Instagram and guilty. mean, I think we've all been guilty. I'm just like, whoa. There's sometimes where I'm like, I'm scrolling, I'm like.

McKenzie Smith (36:50)
you

you

Laura Esquivel (37:03)
Where did time go? Like what just happened?

McKenzie Smith (37:05)
Or I'll

like, like a post without even watching it. It's just like... ⁓

Laura Esquivel (37:10)
Yes! It's

so dumb!

McKenzie Smith (37:16)
⁓ no, I like that. I like that. Start small because if you don't start small, then your chances of failing go up and not keeping it a habit go up and then do it without noise. I think those are those are very practical. And I do. I've read that book, Atomic Habits. It's really great. And I love just like the opening. I'll never forget the opening chapter. I don't even know if it's the chapter or the prelogue, but it's like it talks about the like.

Laura Esquivel (37:31)
Yeah.

free life.

McKenzie Smith (37:43)
Swiss biking team and how they want to change just like they want to make them 1 % better You know every day and it's like that put a lot into perspective to me because you know I think we so often have these like you were saying big goals of like I want to change this drastic thing in my life It's like just shoot for 1 % better than yesterday and seeing how that made a difference in that chapter I was like, holy cannoli. That's a that's so it's like

Laura Esquivel (37:45)
Thank you.

Yep. Yep.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's huge. It's huge. Yeah, a lot of times we

forget where we came from too. I started doing weight training a year and a half ago and it was this thing where I was like, okay, I'm just gonna start showing up. I'm not gonna do anything crazy. I'm gonna just do three days a week. I'm gonna start adding in weights and be consistent. And I was like, I will not come to another dessert. I said this to myself.

I will not come to another December 31st wishing that I had made strength training an active part of my life. Because I was cardio queen for days, but I'm like, I'm in my forties now and know, muscles like just starts to decrease, you know, all the things. And so I literally, said that to myself and that was a commitment that I made and it was just a matter of showing up. Sometimes I wouldn't even do the full

workout, I would just show up and do the 15 minutes or whatever. Push something, pull something. Get it done. Push something, pull something. Today, was even having that moment where I was like, oh, I wish I was further along in my strength training journey, blah, blah. I was like, shut your mouth, Laura. You've been consistent for a year and a half.

McKenzie Smith (39:11)
I love it.

you

Laura Esquivel (39:28)
And there is difference. Like I feel a difference in my overall everything. And I am stronger today than I was a year and a half ago. Period. Period.

McKenzie Smith (39:37)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. That's good. And kudos to you for keeping it up because that is the hardest part showing up on the days you don't want to show up, but we got to do it. All right, Laura. So switching gears a little bit into the title of this podcast, My Valley, His Victory. Would love for you to share a valley or a season of wilderness that you experienced and just what God maybe taught you or prepared you for in that season.

Laura Esquivel (39:54)
Yep. Yeah.

Yeah, so four years ago...

my family and I, we were in a ⁓ pretty bad car accident. were on our way doing what I would love to do, get outdoors. We were gonna go sledding that day and we're heading up ⁓ a mountain road into Tollgate and it was this sledding area that we had never experienced before. And so we were going up with some friends, they were in the car in front of us. Like it was just like the day was set to be a perfect day in the outdoors.

and we were coming around a corner and it was a sunny day, no snow on the road, we didn't expect any bad conditions. And so we were coming around a corner to like there was a shaded area and we hit black ice like out of nowhere. And I just remember I was on the phone with someone and then all of a sudden the

The car started going out of control. My husband was driving and I remember clear as day him just saying no, no, no, no, no. Like he couldn't control the car and it spun. was spinning spinning so fast and heading towards ⁓ these trees and we started to flip and this giant tree stopped us from flipping. But that giant tree hit my passenger side of the car.

and knocked us, knocked us in, knocked the back end. we just, by the time we stopped spinning, I remember taking this like just deep breath in and going, I'm still alive. Because I saw a tree, I mean, it's amazing. Like when you have moments like that, I don't know if anybody, if you're listening to this and you've experienced a croxin or something where it's like, how am I alive right now? So many things fly through your brain.

in that split second. And I was just thinking, God, not my children, like not my children. And when I saw the tree heading for me, it was almost this like weird, like, okay, it's me, it's going to hit me, not them. And, but I was like literally shocked that I was still breathing and just took in a full breath of air. And then I spun my spun myself around.

McKenzie Smith (42:22)
.

Laura Esquivel (42:37)
to look at my kids, they were obviously like, you know, freaking out, but they were all crying. And I was like, okay, they're okay. Everybody looks like, you know, somewhat intact. And so we get out of the car and ⁓ I ⁓ do everything that I'm not supposed to do with the injuries that I found out that I had. you know, jumped across, went out the, it's amazing. Like adrenaline is fierce, but like mama adrenaline is...

McKenzie Smith (43:04)
you

Laura Esquivel (43:06)
even more. It's like next

level fears. And so I was like getting out my my side was completely smashed in so I couldn't get out. And so I get out the driver's side. And I'm just like, you know, touching my my my kids like looking for like any bleeding anything. And they were all okay. And then I and then I had that moment of like, ⁓ I don't think I'm okay. And I just hit my hit my knees and there was

Like I could tell that something was going on with my right side and my back and just was like, just sitting there on my knees. And our friends had come back and they came to me and they're like, are you okay? I was like, I think I'm okay. And finally they convinced, long story short, finally they convinced me that I needed to go to the hospital because I was doing the like, I think it's just muscle.

I just want to go home. Can we just go home? And the EMT, like, thank God somebody was able to call 911 because right before the accident happened, like, my cell phone was starting to glitch out. I was on the phone with somebody and we went into a pocket that there was no cell service. So when we started to call 911, no cell service, nobody had cell service and there happened to be a house.

right around the corner that was able to use a landline and call. So emergency came and they just looked at me and they're like, yeah, you need to go. And apparently I was like showing all signs of like shock and you know, all that, all the things. So went to the hospital and did a, did a cat scan, all the things. And that's when they told me they're like, yeah, your back is broken in three places.

and your brain is bleeding, you have an injury to your brain and there's a hemorrhage. And I'm like, in that moment, I'm like, wait, what? I never had I been told that I had any type of injuries like that in my life. I had never even had a broken bone. And so it was this like, I couldn't even like quite comprehend what they were telling me. And they said, so.

Now you need to, we need to transport you back to the Tri-Cities because they have a neurosurgeon there and we need you to be close to a neurosurgeon to watch your brain hemorrhage because you might need to have ⁓ surgery. so they're getting a helicopter ready to transport me and ⁓ then they come back. like, the helicopter is ⁓ not able to fly because of the winds. And so I'm like, ⁓ okay.

So they're like, we have to transport you by, you know, vehicle. And so the entire time I'm like, they're in the thing by myself, my family wasn't able to go with me. And I'm thinking, all right, am I going to die now or in 10 minutes? Like my brain is literally bleeding. So finally get to the hospital and it's like, it's during, you know, COVID and nobody could stay with me. My husband was able to like come in and be like, all right, you know, good night. I can't stay. And so I'm there the whole, you know, the whole night.

just because I have ⁓ a head injury, I'm getting sick multiple times throughout the night and I have this broken back. ⁓ So just a horrible, horrible experience. Wouldn't wish it on anybody. so ⁓ thank God the brain hemorrhage ⁓ absorbed on its own. I didn't have to have surgery.

⁓ And then they discharged me after a couple days. And so then start this. I started this like, okay, I didn't die. Now let's physically like get better. I didn't, you know, I was just like, all right, I have things to do this summer. It wasn't a vertebrae that broke. It was, you know, one of my discs had ruptured and then the transverse process bones had gone like, dink, dink, dink. Like it just snapped, snapped, snapped.

type of scenario. So I was like, all right, this is like, I can do physical therapy. This is all good. And so over the next six months, I just was focused on getting physically better. I paid zero attention to the actual trauma that happened to my overall body, mind, everything. And ⁓ went about my like, in the summertime, I just started hiking again and

getting out there and so ⁓ that was a an interesting season because I

I have always been so used to being the strong one on the trail, being the one that is able to bring encouragement to somebody who is struggling. I've done it a number of times. And that summer I was doing a trip through the Enchantments and I was the one leading the group. Mind you, this is...

seven months after my accident, I had no business doing that. Like, what was I thinking? Like, give yourself a hot second to recover, Laura. Like, you didn't need to be out there, but I just, there was, it was this weird, ⁓ because I didn't die, like, I have so much appreciation for what my body can do and I can't wait to get back out there. So, ⁓ got out on the trail and ⁓ things were going great.

I felt good. I was a little, like my back was a little sore, but whatever. And climbed Asgard Pass, got into the core zone and we were taking a water break. And I noticed that my heart rate was elevated more than it typically is. And so I was like, And...

and I noticed it wasn't going down. And then I started to have this literally impending doom feeling. Like, you're gonna die here. You're gonna have a heart attack. It was just the weirdest, I have never experienced panic or anxiety before this moment. And I didn't really even know what was happening. And so I'm trying to keep it cool. I'm like, all right, guys, let's like...

get up and start hiking again. But they were starting to notice that I was shutting down, I was getting really quiet. I was like, okay, we're going to stop again up at this next spot. I wanted to check my pulse again, I wanted to evaluate myself. We get there and my heart rate is just not going below 150 even at rest. I'm like, what the heck? Then I start to just spiral.

And ⁓ it was in that moment where I just felt you have to let them know that you're not okay. And that was really hard, really hard for me to do. ⁓ Again, because I'm used to doing that for other people. And ⁓ so I looked up and I was like, you guys, I don't know what's happening, but I'm not okay. And they're like, immediately like so you're like,

Okay, what can we do? Like what's going on? And so long story short, they had to be the ones that were lifting me up. And I would walk, I would go a half mile and I'm like, okay, now we're gonna eat part of a bagel. Okay, now we're gonna go another half mile. Now we're going to get liquid in and then we're gonna make sure we go to the bathroom and like make sure all the things are working properly. And so...

It was the longest day ⁓ in the mountains that I've ever experienced. And ⁓ that wasn't the end of it. You think like, you made it out and like you conquered getting through anxiety and all the things. But that was just the start of me experiencing three years of anxiety, panic.

impending doom that I like thinking I was gonna die. And ⁓ I went through like I saw I went to a cardiologist like I wore a heart rate monitor. I was trying to like figure out all the things and didn't and it was a process of recognizing that okay, the trauma of that that accident, I didn't allow myself to

to truly to feel that and address that. And ⁓ it took three years of checking myself into a hospital, telling them I'm like, think I'm having a heart attack, ⁓ trying to process what was happening and ⁓ having to find ways to regulate that. And ⁓ there was a moment that

started to shift things and it was when I was traveling in another country. This was two years ago. Yeah, traveling in another country and traveling became really difficult for me. I hated being away from my family. I always thought something was going to happen to them or something that's going to happen to me. The mind is a wild, wild thing. It can literally paralyze you and ⁓

Yeah, I was getting to the place of like, I don't even want to do anything. Like it's just much easier just to stay here and stay tucked away and you know, not do anything scary. So I was traveling, I was in a foreign country. The person that I was staying in the hotel with, they had already gone to sleep. And at nighttime was when anxiety would start to present itself even more. And sure enough, my heart rate went up.

I felt like I couldn't relax. I was getting like poplations. so I get up and I'm okay, breathe, breathe, Laura. Like you're not going to check yourself into a Belizean hospital. Like that's not, that's not going to make anything better. And so, ⁓ I, I just felt like I needed to go out onto the balcony and I just felt so strongly that the Lord was like, Hey, have you tried, have you tried coming to me and laying this out at my feet in.

And so I went out on the balcony and I put on the song, Jyra by Elevation Worship. And it just says, Jyra, you are enough for me. And it was this, great realization that for so many years, I had placed stability in what I'm physically able to do.

what I'm mentally able to do and having both of those things at certain points completely stripped away, I was floundering and I needed to just simply let God be enough for me. And so, I mean, we've probably all experienced that like high level booger cry.

⁓ That was me on the balcony at 2 a.m. Just listening to this worship song, just high level booger crying and just like this incredible release and it didn't, it wasn't this like overnight, ⁓ anxiety is gone, you know, you're never gonna experience this again. But it was this recognizing nothing is wrong with you physically. Like this is the battle of...

of the mind and if you can place your trust back in me, Laura, realize that I am enough and I'm with you and I see you. ⁓ That was that started the road to being able to ⁓ see progressive healing. I went through the physical healing, but this emotional and healing was something that I never thought that I would have to face.

And ⁓ it was a battle going back into the enchantments after that moment that I experienced that day. ⁓ I remember the next year, I started to feel those feelings the night before. And the next morning when we're all standing there at 2.30 in the morning to get ready to go to the trailhead, I just look at everybody and ⁓ I said, hey, I need to let you guys know that it's taking everything in me.

get on that trail today and ⁓ I'm experiencing ⁓ fear and anxiety and but I know that we can do this together but if I can't if I get to Kolchek I might have to turn around and that's okay and so there was something so like beautiful in that too of just letting them in to to what was going on and I was able to hike the whole day because I was

able to be honest with where I was. And that's, I think, the most beautiful part. And we can share in our stories when we've experienced hard things or we're going through hard things. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just voice it and say, ⁓ I'm not okay. But we're going to figure this out and God's going to help me through it. But ⁓ and a lot of times people can relate.

McKenzie Smith (57:07)
Thank

Laura Esquivel (57:31)
and they're just waiting for somebody else to say, I'm not okay. So then that gives them permission and an invitation to say, I'm not okay either.

McKenzie Smith (57:41)
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for just walking us through that and just the level of vulnerability that you shared in that story. I would love to ask you, you know, what, like, practically, you know, what that looked like.

Laura Esquivel (57:42)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

McKenzie Smith (58:06)
Believing that God is enough after that evening and like, know what what like practically changed for you because You know, I think that it is it's a hard place to be because something is you said nothing was physically wrong with you but in a sense, you know, like having Having panic attacks or you know having that fear is something physically going going on and so

Laura Esquivel (58:08)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Oops.

McKenzie Smith (58:34)
it can be hard to not like want to run to a doctor or to a medical professional or you know, something like that when something is going going on in your body going on in your body. And so how do you balance?

Laura Esquivel (58:46)
Mm-hmm.

McKenzie Smith (58:52)
that piece of it, know, and like trusting God, but also like knowing that you might need doctors and medical professionals, right? And like, yeah, just, I hope that makes sense.

Laura Esquivel (59:00)
Totally.

Yeah. ⁓ yeah.

100%. Yeah. ⁓ leading up to that moment, I had gone to doctors and I had worn a heart rate monitor and everything pointed to things look okay. But you also hear those stories of like, doctors can tell you that you're okay, but there's actually something really going on that they're not catching. ⁓ I...

all tests and signs pointed to I was physically okay. And I'm a firm believer, like get the medical ⁓ help and they're there. They are God given resources for us to be able to have when we're experiencing things like this. ⁓ so I had done that. And so after this kind of moment, ⁓ I put in like just tangible practices.

When I start to feel that, it's like, okay, what was it in this moment that brought me peace? It was worship. It was worship music. And so ⁓ I started putting that on when I would start to feel anxious, like, okay, put on worship music, ⁓ ground myself, which I would get on the ground. I would literally start to just stretch and breathe. And those two things.

were absolutely game changers for a tangible practice that I had to put in place for myself of like, do these things. And ⁓ it would, the symptoms would start to decrease in that. And if they wouldn't, I was fully going to go check myself into a hospital. Yeah.

McKenzie Smith (1:00:54)
Yeah, okay, cool.

Yeah, that's helpful. I was just curious, know, like, what tangibly, but I think too, like...

Laura Esquivel (1:00:59)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. and phoning

a friend. There are times where I would just phone a friend too. It's like, yeah, God is enough, but he also places people in your life that are just true lifelines. And so there'd be times where I would just call a good friend of mine and be like, hi, I'm losing my mind.

McKenzie Smith (1:01:21)
Yeah, yeah. Well, and I think that goes back to what you said. Like sometimes the best thing that you can do is to share and actually, you know, I've heard there's so much power in like, especially in that situation with like fear and anxiety is actually speaking out loud what you're feeling. So then you can hear it back to yourself to know like, okay, this isn't like an actual thing that is, you know, most likely going to happen. ⁓

Laura Esquivel (1:01:35)
and

Right. ⁓

McKenzie Smith (1:01:49)
And that can sometimes be helpful to like hear it, you know, back to yourself instead of just circulating in your head, right? ⁓ So for somebody who, you know, is maybe going through a similar experience, you know, they had a life altering injury, but they didn't, you know, maybe handle the mental things that come along with that. ⁓

Laura Esquivel (1:01:57)
Totally. Yeah.

McKenzie Smith (1:02:16)
What piece of advice or word of encouragement would you give to that person? Maybe even if they're not at the point that you were at yet. ⁓

Laura Esquivel (1:02:27)
Yeah, ⁓ yeah, talk, I would share it, share it with somebody, find a safe place, a safe person that you can just share what's, what's going on. ⁓ And not even expecting them to offer you any sort of advice or anything, but just being able to get out of your own, of your own head and, and share.

And also just get in the Word. ⁓ If you're not typically a person who reads the Bible, ⁓ just start picking it up and just reading and saying, okay, God, what do you have for me today? ⁓ I would say that that, yeah, I would just extend that. Start simple, like try not to fix yourself.

If that makes sense, think initially I was trying to fix myself. I'm like, oh, I don't got time for this. I need to fix this right now. And now looking back, I had to go through all of it. I think we pray for God to take us out of really hard things. When in reality, the kindest thing he can do for us is allow us to go.

through that season and he's there every step of the way and God doesn't cause these bad things to happen. But sometimes the removal out of really hard things prematurely, ⁓ we can't get the fullness of it. ⁓ So yeah, I would say ⁓ don't be afraid to sit in it and tell somebody about it.

McKenzie Smith (1:04:23)
Yeah, yeah, thank you. Thank you so much, Laura, for that advice and just again for sharing what you have with us today. I would love for you to leave the listeners with a way that they can find more about you or more about Atlas Free and all of that stuff.

Laura Esquivel (1:04:26)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

you

Yeah, absolutely.

So you can follow Atlas Free on social media. It's just at atlasfree. And atlasfree.org is the website. You can learn more about what we're doing in the fight against sex trafficking. There's also a Instagram page that's dedicated to all those who are getting outdoors for the freedom of others. It's called Get Outdoors for Freedom. So you can go and follow that.

And if you want to you know, see what I'm up to I'm just I'm Laura underscore freedom underscore fighter a little bit harder than the other ones but yeah would love to just invite anyone of you who wants to to take that next step in in fighting for the freedom of the exploited You can get outdoors and we have a few spots that are open on some of the hikes and you can go to atlasfree.org

slash fundraisers and you'll see ⁓ a list of different ones. I'm doing the enchantments this summer and there's one more spot left. Who's the lucky person that's going to come with me? And then I'm doing the Tetons as well and there's three spots left on on that hike. So it's fun. The community is fun or you can do your own adventure. You doing something this summer? ⁓ I have this wild hair idea that I want to ⁓ paddleboard to Stahiken from ⁓

where was that place called? Chelan. So from Chelan to Stahican, apparently people do that and it's like miles. So if you're doing something wild like that, like paddle boarding to Stahican, you can turn that into a fundraiser.

McKenzie Smith (1:06:16)
I love it. love it. Well, you all

go check it out. again, Laura, just thank you so much for being here and for sharing your story.

Laura Esquivel (1:06:23)
Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me.