079 - I Was Ready to Burn My Bible with Megan Kieser

In this episode, Megan Kieser, an outdoor enthusiast and spiritual seeker shares her journey of connecting with God through the outdoor and His Creation. Megan discusses her nomadic lifestyle, her love for various outdoor activities, and how these experiences have shaped her faith. She reflects on personal tragedies, including loss and grief, and emphasizes the importance of community and support during difficult times. Megan also offers practical advice for finding God in everyday life and encourages listeners to reach out for help when facing hardships.

Connect with her on Facebook: The Christian Outdoor Collective 

Megan Kieser
Link to resources Megan shared: HERE 

Transcript

McKenzie Piland (00:01)
On today's episode of My Valley, His Victory, we have Megan Kieser. Megan has been an outdoor addict since the beginning of her existence. Growing up on a farm and camping with her family helped cultivate a deep love for the outdoors and nature. She's not met an outdoor activity that she doesn't love. No, seriously, kayaking, climbing, backpacking, hiking, mountain biking, river trips, kayak, camping, horses, disc golf, running, ultimate frisbee, volleyball, fishing, photography, snorkeling, camping, et cetera.

Currently, she is residing in Arizona and taking advantage of the diversity of activities and geography that her favorite state has to offer. If she's not experimenting on her friends with new sourdough recipes, she's probably being coerced by some of her favorite teenagers to sneak in a last minute weekend camping trip. Thanks so much for being with us today, Megan.

Megan (00:54)
Kenzie, it's such an honor to be here. Thanks for having me.

McKenzie Piland (00:57)
Yeah, that was such a fun bio. I fun reading that. I was like, ⁓ we're going into all the activities. Okay, okay, okay. And then I...

Megan (01:00)
You

I didn't think you

were actually gonna read all of them. ⁓

McKenzie Piland (01:09)
Well, I did. ⁓ At first, I thought kayak and camping were going to be separate, but no, we're kayak camping.

Megan (01:17)
They're together and separate.

McKenzie Piland (01:19)
⁓ well, the fact that kayak camping is a thing, I'm intrigued. No. No. OK, yeah, I've seen people do paddleboard camping, so I would assume it's the same thing, just different, different mode of transportation. Very cool. Well, Megan, I know that we covered a lot there, but go ahead and just share with the listeners a little bit more about yourself and who you are.

Megan (01:24)
Have you never been? What? It's amazing. It's in between backpacking and car camping.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that bio covers a lot of it. ⁓ I grew up in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest and have just always had a deep love for the outdoors. There wasn't a lot to do in the Midwest where I grew up, but then as I just have grown and explored different areas and different activities, I just have, I'm mediocre at all of them, but love them each equally. ⁓ So they, yeah, I just love being outdoors and being able to move my body any way that I can.

McKenzie Piland (02:17)
Yeah.

So what took you to Arizona? Cause you said it's your favorite state and you love living there, but you just said you're from the Midwest. So how did we get to Arizona?

Megan (02:28)
Yeah, I've been a bit of a nomad my entire life. I grew up in Illinois, was in Missouri for about five years out of college, ⁓ moved to Arizona about 12 years ago, and then had a brief hiatus in there, ⁓ living overseas for about 12 years and then, or three years, and then have come back since then.

McKenzie Piland (02:47)
Okay, what was the original move to Arizona for?

Megan (02:51)
The short answer is the Lord wanted me here. The slightly longer version is I moved out to be a part of a ranch that was going to be involved with the foster care system. That didn't end up happening. We'll talk a little bit about that later. ⁓ But the Lord definitely used that to draw my heart out west.

McKenzie Piland (03:11)
Yeah, absolutely. So I know you said that you're mediocre at all of these activities, but you have to have at least one or two favorites. So what are the ones that just, you you do often?

Megan (03:24)
Yeah, climbing is my favorite. ⁓ I don't get to do it quite as often as I would like to, but it's definitely a favorite. And then the one that's just really easy to do is throw on a pair of shoes and go run a trail somewhere. ⁓ just feels both running and climbing. would say they are my favorites because they quiet my brain. I have a very noisy brain and to be able to just process things with the Lord that way. Those are probably two of my favorites.

McKenzie Piland (03:55)
Yeah, absolutely. Are you a more boulder or like a top rope climber or where do you fall in that mix?

Megan (04:02)
Yeah, yeah, it's more, it's

more sport climbing than anything. I've done a little bit of track climbing, but not a lot. ⁓ I had just started to learn and then life changed a whole bunch and haven't been able to get back to that piece of it.

McKenzie Piland (04:16)
Yeah. Do you climb mostly in a gym or outside? Outside. Yeah. And is there a lot of that in Arizona near you?

Megan (04:20)
Outside. It's definitely my preference.

Yeah, I one of my favorite things about the town where I live is there's climbing like I drive past climbing to get into town So it's you throw in your pack and it's a 10-minute walk to the crag and you're climbing after work Like there's there's enough sunlight now that we can climb a bunch after work if we want to so it's amazing

McKenzie Piland (04:45)
Yeah, that's very cool. I have done a little bit of exploring in Arizona, but not as much as I want to. But you said it's your favorite state. So tell us a little bit about why it's your favorite state.

Megan (04:59)
my goodness. I, I love Arizona because it's geologically, it's super diverse. I'm kind of a rock hound and I have a far larger rock collection than an adult should, but I do. ⁓ and then just the diversity of activities there's, you know, there's running and biking and climbing and mountain biking and kayaking and everything that you can think of. then two, there's stuff to do all year round. So if it's even in the dead of winter, Phoenix is not very far from us. just.

you go south and if it's too cold, you know, can head there during the winter and then during the summer you just head north to higher elevations and there's just stuff to do all year round, which I love, my soul.

McKenzie Piland (05:39)
Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the reasons I love Utah too is like, if it's too cold in where I live, I can go down to the desert. And if it's too hot in the desert, then that usually means the mountains are perfect temperatures. So I definitely understand that. so you talked a little bit in your bio about growing up on a farm, camping with your family, being an outdoor addict to your whole life. Is that something that your parents were really passionate about and that they still are huge outdoor lovers or?

Megan (05:51)
Yep, yep.

McKenzie Piland (06:09)
Yeah.

Megan (06:12)
So yeah, we started camping pretty young, honestly, because we grew up pretty poor. My dad was a farmer and it was what we could afford for vacation. And I remember buying this rickety old ⁓ hard shell camper and scraping the paint off of it so we could redecorate it and take it out. ⁓ So I wouldn't say they are super lovers of nature. ⁓

but it was what our family needed. I, so I spent the majority of my child, like summers, we would ride bikes down. We, out in the middle of nowhere. So we would ride bikes, you know, back and forth down the road and there's no traffic and come home at dark. It's just always been a part of my, a part of my life. ⁓ Where we lived, we had these two giant rows of pine trees for a windbreak. And I just remember so much time walking barefoot through those pine trees, just, you know.

Imagine every possible scenario in life that a young girl's brain could take her to.

McKenzie Piland (07:12)
Yeah, just that little barefoot dirty kid out in the woods.

Megan (07:20)
It's true.

McKenzie Piland (07:20)
That's true, it was me. Hello. that's funny. So, we'd love to hear a little bit about how being in the outdoors and doing all these fun things in the outdoors plays a role specifically in your relationship with Christ.

Megan (07:34)
Yeah, I know when it when I was young those those pine trees that was where I would run when My heart was in chaos. And so is it it was already a place of solace. I didn't know that's what was happening at the time but that was The Lord drawing me there too. I have always heard felt and seen the Lord the most in the outdoors ⁓ And so just being there being able to feel the dirt feel the trees smell, know the

the smell of the rain that comes in after smelling the dirt that comes up after the rain kind of a thing. It just has always filled my soul. And yeah, it really does. I have a really noisy brain. I have undiagnosed ADHD. When my body is moving, it helps quiet some of those things and be able to process through the chaos. I love shutting my phone off and leaving it off for days at a time if I can.

⁓ It helps me just connect with the Lord in that silence and solitude in a way that not really anything else does.

McKenzie Piland (08:38)
Yeah, yeah, I love that you said it helps you quiet your brain because man in this world we all need that don't we? I know you said you have undiagnosed ADHD but I think we all have crazy noisy brains. Maybe yours is a little bit crazier and noisier but man that is just, that is just the state of the world these days. Everything is crazy and noisy just in general.

Megan (08:47)
Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

yeah.

McKenzie Piland (09:08)
So I would love for you to share a specific story about a way in which God has maybe revealed Himself to you or spoken to you through the outdoors.

Megan (09:17)
Yeah, I so I grew up in church. I don't ever remember learning about the Lord for the first time. Like he has always existed. He's always I've always known who he is in my head. And ⁓ it was about it was right after I moved to Arizona, I was wrestling through some pretty hard things. And I'd gone out on a hike is a hike I've done, I don't know, dozens of times. And I, I was yelling at the Lord, I said, Lord, I know that you love me. I know that you're there. But

I don't feel it, I don't believe it. So ⁓ if you really love me, ⁓ you'll show me a rock. We should never do this, right? Don't do this to the Lord, but I did it anyway in my very weak faith. And I said, you'll show me a rock that's shaped like a heart. And it was, I took maybe three steps and I came across this boulder that was, I mean, it was massive and it was this shape of a heart. And...

in my stupidity, I said, that's cute, Lord, I can't take that home with me. And walked, you know, 10 steps down the trail and found a rock that was the shape of a heart. And I was able to stick it in my pocket. ⁓ And from there, it has just escalated. Like, I continued to find her I have this I have an entire box full of probably more than one box that rocks that are shaped like hearts. I put on a new pair of pants this morning. And I was like, what?

What is that? I haven't worn these pants for probably a year.

It was a rock that shaped like they're everywhere. And it's at the point where my friends' kids will text pictures of stuff. Look at me and it's the shape of a heart. like an avocado and it's the shape of a heart. It's just the Lord's constant reminder to me that I love you. I love you deeply. He doesn't ever want me to forget it. It's not a magnificent sunset or massive adventure trip, but it was just the simplest thing that my heart needed at the time.

McKenzie Piland (11:09)
Yeah.

Megan (11:18)
to remind me that he is always near.

McKenzie Piland (11:20)
Yeah, yeah, that's funny. I was just on a hike in California and I was with a girl who has a couple of little kids and she was looking for like little, little tiny rocks that were shaped like hearts. And I was like, I don't know that I've ever seen a heart or a rock that's shaped like a heart. And then you've said that. And a girl I interviewed that I think is coming out the week before this will come out also shared a story about a heart shaped rock.

And that's three times in two weeks that a heart-shaped rock has come up. I'm like now, I'm like is this something I need to be paying attention to? this is, am I missing, am I missing something?

Megan (12:00)
They're real, I promise.

have a giant one.

It's like this big for a doorstop. ⁓

McKenzie Piland (12:09)
I

love that you, that you ask God that and then he showed you a huge heart and you were like, no, but like what I can take home. And then he showed you a second one. Like you were like, I mean, how much cooler than the very big rock, but no, you took it a step further and you were like, I can't take this home with me.

Megan (12:30)
I know it's a little bit like, I can't remember which prophet it was. Was it Elisha that said, ⁓ Lord, I'm, how are we going to win this battle? And he, and the Lord says, well, if you don't have faith, go down to your enemies. And so he goes down to his enemies. So that clearly means that he was scared and didn't have any faith. Like it doesn't, it doesn't explicitly say that in scripture, but it's there. Like he was terrified and the Lord's like, okay, just go like.

McKenzie Piland (12:31)
you

Yeah.

Megan (13:00)
If you're scared, go. I want to give you what you need to be able to do the things that you want to do. So I love that he does that for us.

McKenzie Piland (13:07)
Yeah, yeah.

When I hear you share that story about asking God for something I always think about, and I'm gonna not remember what the guy's name is, but the guy who like puts a ⁓ thing outside of his tent and he's like, if there's dew on it, you know, and then the opposite, because he's like, that one wasn't enough. I need to like do it the opposite way. Yes.

Megan (13:29)
Yeah, Gideon. Yeah,

his faith was weak and the Lord didn't care. I think that we put this giant pressure on Peter getting out of the boat. Peter was terrified. And yes, he gets this bad rap for sinking in the waves because he took his eyes off of the father. Nobody else was in the water. Everybody else was back in the boat.

McKenzie Piland (13:36)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think of that ⁓ all the time like I believe but help my unbelief like Because I need that every day ⁓ Well You live in Prescott is that right is that a big city?

Megan (13:59)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

⁓ not really. It's getting bigger, but it's, I mean, it's hard because, ⁓ there's nature everywhere. Like you can hike on a trail in the middle of town and feel like you're not in town. So.

McKenzie Piland (14:13)
Okay.

Okay, but

not a big city, but not a really small town. Okay, okay, cool. So, Megan, for somebody who maybe lives in a big city, I know you don't live in a super big city, you live in a medium-sized place. ⁓ What are some ways that people can start connecting with God on an everyday basis through his creation without being on these amazing...

big rock climbs or, you know, running trails.

Megan (14:57)
Yeah, you can find nature anywhere. You know, even if you live in the middle of LA, in the middle of New York City, you have Central Park, like there is nature everywhere that you go. I've just recently moved out into a more remote part of town, but where I lived before, it's, you know, in the middle of town, it's one of the historic streets in town. And I would take off my shoes and walk the street. There's patches of grass that are

along the street and just touching nature and smelling the trees and looking at a sunset. You don't have to go on these epic adventures just to see and feel the Lord.

McKenzie Piland (15:41)
Yeah, and you do a lot of gardening, isn't that right?

Megan (15:45)
I do. The Lord has been showing me all sorts of crazy things with my garden this week that like, that was interesting. Thanks Lord. I didn't expect that to happen. So he can use anything and everything, even if it's a tiny garden in the middle of your city. If you want to look for him, he'll be there.

McKenzie Piland (16:05)
Yeah, yeah. Do you mind sharing anything that you found in your garden?

Megan (16:09)
Yeah, so I

have slowly been planting. Let me let me back up. am I'm a pretend gardener. I used to kill every I used to kill everything that I planted. House plants, garden plants, everything. And I'm slowly trying. I used to say I have two black thumbs. Now I think they're two brown thumbs. ⁓ So I've slowly been planting all the things and I shoved. I decided at the last second to shove in some squash seeds.

McKenzie Piland (16:16)
Ha ha.

Megan (16:37)
And there was three of them. like, okay, those vines will grow off that away. I didn't see anything for a long, like days and days and days. I'm like, maybe I killed them. I don't know. That's a really high probability. So all of a sudden one day there was one little feed that popped up and there's this tiny little plant. was like, my gosh, it's amazing. One out of three. That's fantastic. And that was, I think three weeks ago that that happened. And then just last night I went and I was watering and I went, wait, there's two plants. There's not supposed to be two plants.

there's only supposed to be one. And it was just the parable that the Lord uses with the seeds and the dirt and the soil and how our hearts should be prepared. And then it also talks about, you know, that we're supposed to plant and water and the Lord gives the increase. And it was just a really stark reminder for me that just because I have sown seeds in people's lives and not seen any fruit from it, it doesn't mean it didn't matter.

McKenzie Piland (17:31)
Hmm. Hmm. Very good. That's, that's a really cool, like, parallel of that you're this thing in your garden and it's reminding you of, those things in your personal life. think that's, that's really cool. So yeah.

Megan (17:46)
Yeah, a couple of

other things that people could do is like go somewhere where there's no light pollution and look at the stars and read Psalm eight, right? Like I look at the stars in the works of your hand and what is man that you were mindful of them that you've made us a little lower than the heavenly beings and crown you with glory and honor. Like how do you read those words? Looking at the stars and not feel so humbled and yet so deeply loved by the father. I can't do it.

McKenzie Piland (18:12)
you

Megan (18:13)
Right? Or, you

know, go sit on a mountain somewhere and read Psalm 21. ⁓ Lord, Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth. ⁓ Nope, that's the start of eight, I think. ⁓ I look to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the maker of heaven and earth. He never sleeps or slumbers. Your foot won't slip. Like when you when you slow down and you read those things. Like he has put himself in nature.

And if we shut off our phones, be brave enough to be unfindable for 15 minutes and just sit and be with the Lord. He wants to speak to us. He wants that relationship with us. And for me, nature is a great way to find that.

McKenzie Piland (18:58)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Those are great things to do. And then also just great scripture to read ⁓ and great scripture to read alongside with us. So thank you so much for sharing that. That's really helpful. Well, switching gears to the title of this podcast, My Valley, His Victory, I would love for you to share a valley or a season of wilderness that you've experienced and what God maybe taught you or prepared you for in that season.

Megan (19:18)
You

Yeah, so when we first connected about this, I was wrestling through what part do I share? Do I share this piece? Do I share this piece? And just as I prayed about that, I think I'm supposed to share this 30,000 foot view of a lot of stories. ⁓ And so I'm going to go really fast through a lot of things. And I need to start with the Lord has been so gracious and kind to me in a myriad of ways.

If I don't preface with that, all of the rest of the things that come behind are going to feel like, oh my gosh, is there anything, do you notice anything good that happens in your life? Yes, I absolutely do. But we're talking about values right now. So we're going to just jump in. and I think I, like everybody else, our family history is really important and how we were raised and our genetics, um, that made a huge impact on how I saw the world and how I interpret it.

in the rest of the things that are to come. I started experiencing death really young. Like I went to more funerals between the ages of like five and 12 than most people do in their entire lifetime. And it was great grandparents and grandparents. And it made sense there were illnesses, but it still was a lot of death pretty young. When I moved from Illinois to Missouri, I moved out to be a part of a kids ranch that was gonna be helping kids and

It fell apart pretty quickly. was some rift that happened in relationships and I moved there and I think it was, I don't know, maybe six or eight months that I was there and that fell apart. it was just hard. I moved my life here for these people, this organization, and then all of a sudden it was gone. ⁓ I got plugged into my community. I got plugged into my church.

And then it wasn't very long after that, ⁓ the Lord was drawing my heart to Arizona and, okay, it's time to be a part of this different organization. I spent so much time fasting and praying and that's absolutely what the Lord wanted me to do. ⁓ Again, I didn't know it was bad leadership. I wouldn't have moved if it wasn't for that organization, but I pretty quickly realized, this is not happening. And even though I moved out here with people that felt like family,

⁓ They were moving back and said we're supposed to move back and I stayed knowing nobody essentially no connections. I had gone to the denomination that I grew up in. I was there but wasn't super connected with folks. This town is a retirement town so it's really hard for single folks to get plugged in or if you don't have kids that's super hard. ⁓

In 2014, I had a really terrible climate accident and I broke both of my legs. So I spent three months in a wheelchair. I got to say things like, who wants to help me go to the bathroom? Who wants to help me go to bed? Like as a 20 something independent woman, who wants to ask those things? Definitely not me. And then in 2015, went to go hang out with some friends. And one of my friends that was there, she

I knew that her daughter was there and I said, she's six months old at the time. And I said, Hey, you, where's Adelaide? ⁓ And she, she said, Adelaide, she's sleeping. You can go peek in on her if you wanted to. And I said, can I please, she's just the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. And so I went in, went to go peek at her and ⁓ I found her not breathing.

⁓ and life drastically changed. You know, I, I wasn't sure if I should do this, but I'm going to, this was the Bible that I was using at the time. I call it my two piece because it has fallen apart. ⁓ you know, this is the Bible that helped me move away from my family. was the Bible that helped me move across the country. was the Bible that saw me through college. ⁓ it saw me through so many things. but I picked up this Bible and I picked up this slider.

And I said, I'm I'm done, Lord. I'm done with you. How can like death in grandparents? I understand death in sick people. I understand. But a six month old baby, like we, we rushed her to the hospital. EMS was there within 15 minutes. There's two nurses and somebody who's been, ⁓ you know, in healthcare for 15 years doing CPR. We prayed over her over and over and over, and she didn't come back to life.

⁓ She passed away from SIDS. So that rocked my world in a really, powerful way. And just the Lord and His kindness and through His people slowly drew me back to Him, which is super kind. And if that happens, those kinds of hurts and pains happen for a lot of people and they finish the burning and they say, I'm done. ⁓

And you think that that would be enough. And then in 2017, I have always loved kids. always loved spending time around them. And in 2017, I got licensed to do foster care and became a single mom, which was incredibly hard. The world is not a shout out to all of the single parents because the world is not set up for single parents at all.

So I did a lot of respite care, lots of traumatized brains, which brings its own chaos. And ⁓ I took two teenage girls, were half sisters. were with me for a while. It was uncertain what was going to happen. ⁓ And I got asked on a Monday if I wanted to keep them for forever. And I said yes on Tuesday and on Wednesday.

⁓ I was told they were leaving on Friday.

⁓ so they got, they got to go back to mom who, was a drug addict. And, ⁓ if she wasn't hurting them in unimaginable ways, it was men that she invited into her world. Like if I shared the gory details of their story, I don't think anybody would have a heart left in them. It's like, just rips your heart out of the, out of your chest. so them standing in my driveway clinging to me.

McKenzie Piland (25:59)
you

Megan (26:10)
Wanting to go back to their mom, but not wanting to leave the safety of my home. ⁓ That also tore my heart out of my chest. ⁓

McKenzie Piland (26:32)
Take your time.

Megan (26:36)
going to do that nose blow.

McKenzie Piland (26:39)
You take all the time you need,

Megan (26:48)
So that was the middle of 2017, 2018. I was in the midst of getting burnt out in my career. I had been in healthcare for 20 years and done occupational therapy for 10. I started to joke that I had been in Arizona as long as I had been in Missouri. So like, where was the Lord taking me next? And then...

I said, wait, no, no, no, I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave. love, I love Arizona. ⁓ so just spent a lot of time fasting and praying with some friends and mentors and it actually was time to move on. The Lord started to pull up some tent pegs and started to revive some old dreams from childhood about, ⁓ being a missionary. ⁓ so even though in the path, the Lord had said not yet, it was time. ⁓ so I went through that whole journey of, ⁓

walking away from a career, ⁓ selling almost everything that I owned, ⁓ making the move overseas. And what the funny timing of all of the things is I moved in January, 2020, and then the world shut down. ⁓ So just moving across the country is hard, or just moving across the world is hard. And so I'm learning a different culture. There's a global pandemic.

⁓ And then just because life is nutty, I experienced more traumatic and dramatic things in my first three years on the field than I actually had a counselor in our organization said, Megan, you've been through more in your first term than most people do in their entire lifetime on the mission field. It's like there is somebody that tried to break into my house. I had a hostile coworker who ⁓ looked me in the eyeballs and told me she hated me.

I fought through insomnia where I was sleeping two and three hours a night for months on end I had a dear friend that passed away in the United States from childbirth and couldn't be there to love and support my friend So it's just like all of these chaotic things that had happened ⁓ And again, I thought you know because the Lord had resurrected these old dreams I

I sold everything thinking I was going to grow old and die on the mission field. And then he said no and made it pretty clear that it was time to move back to the US. And it was a very bumpy reentry into the United States. I had a hard time learning how to be an American again.

overwhelmed at the grocery store trying to find peanut butter and I had to walk out without peanut. Like I couldn't shut down in the grocery store because it's too hard to... Why are there 18 million kinds of peanut butter in this country? I would like to know.

Oh yeah, so it was was challenging. The US is loud and fast compared to where I was and then just the the grieving of. Wasn't where I wanted to be initially, so I'm still working through some of that. Just my heart and my body being in two different places sometimes. And then 2024 after all of those after all of those things.

I dubbed 2024 the year from hell.

I'm not ready to share a lot of details about it, but just a tiny piece of that is I have bizarre health issues that nobody can find answers to. I have spent more time in doctor's offices in the last year and a half than I did the entire 37 years prior to just, and if there's still a giant unknown, everybody has ideas.

about what's wrong with me and nobody really knows. ⁓ So just wrestling through that piece of it. ⁓ And then, know, in between all of these things, throw in some heartbreak of somebody, I love somebody that didn't love me back and leaving a denomination that I grew up in and family conflict, you all of that just for good measure. ⁓

And so at the end of all of it, right, that brings us to today. And what is that? Like, what do you do with all of this chaos? Right? And what I know...

is I would be nowhere without my Jesus.

Like when the Lord tells Joshua in Deuteronomy, like, will never leave you or forsake you. That wasn't just a promise for him. That's a promise for us too. ⁓ You know, we all want the rainbow baby after a miscarriage. We all want the happily ever after with the giant rock on our hand. ⁓

But what if that's not how it's supposed to go?

What if the only redemption to my story is I didn't lose my faith in the Lord and my heart is still soft?

McKenzie Piland (32:24)
Mm.

Megan (32:27)
There's a really beautiful song that Brooke Ligertwood wrote and sings. It's called Calvary is Enough. Actually, that whole album that that song is on is really beautiful. But that song is, if the only thing that I have Jesus, if the only thing that I have is Jesus, will that be enough?

I hope so. really, really hope so. Because God is not good just because life feels good. He is good because He is good. And our feelings don't always have to match. Our feelings don't match.

God's characters. Okay, hang on, let me try that again. Our feelings don't match God's characteristics. He is who he is, whether I feel it or not. He's always kind, he's always gracious, he's always compassionate, he's always full of justice, he's always loving, he is always all of those things, whether I feel it or not.

McKenzie Piland (33:41)
Yeah. Wow. I.

I don't have words. I'm just like.

I mean what you said at the end there, the miracle in all of this and it is that you haven't lost your faith, thank God. And that...

There's a lot to be said for that. And that is that it that is a miracle in and of itself because for some reason, you know, he he he's there and he keeps pulling you back and he keeps showing you his love. ⁓ Despite all of this tragedy and hurt and chaos and. Man, I don't even have words. ⁓

I just want to say thank you for sharing. I can't imagine going through one of these things, let alone all of these things and you know what it would be like to

keep the faith and keep the hope. I've seen people lose their faith over a lot less. So I guess my question to you in all of this is,


I just think you have so much strength. You're so strong. That's just what I keep coming back to.

Yeah, I guess, you you shared the verse whenever we were talking about the outdoors and you know, you look up to the mountain. It's like, where does my help come from? But like. I guess I want to get like really practical here, like.

What do you do with all of this despite

you know, all of the promises and all of the things that God tells us, you know.

Megan (36:48)
Yeah, it's a good question. And I did something that I didn't ask permission for. So we can cut all of this out if you want to. But I actually built some resources. Because like, what do you do? How do you stay connected to the Lord? So I have three, one, two, three, four. I have five different slides that you can use if you want to. One of them is like, what do you do in a valley? How do we lament?

We really need to learn biblical lament and there's just like really practical steps of what that looks like There's some scriptures to go to There's some podcasts and sermons that would maybe be helpful for some folks and then just a handful of books that I had found helpful along my journey to So if you want those I would love to send those out or I don't know how you want to use them But I would love to get those to you

McKenzie Piland (37:40)
Yeah, yeah, we can.

Yeah, we can definitely put them in the show notes if they're like links that could be like if they're in like a Google Drive or something, we can put the link there. ⁓

Megan (37:50)
Mm-hmm.

Okay. I made it in

Canva. it could be.

McKenzie Piland (37:59)
We can do

a link to a Canva page, I think. Yeah, yeah. We'll figure out a way to put it in the show notes. ⁓ But no, I think that that would be very helpful. But would also just love for you to maybe cover a few of the things, just getting practical, you know, when life is full of so much tragedy. ⁓ You know, I guess the thing that I keep coming back to is in...

Megan (38:03)
Okay. Okay.

Okay.

McKenzie Piland (38:27)
You know, I feel like this is a, ⁓ let me start over. The thing that I keep coming back to in my mind when I hear all of this, when I hear all of the tragedy, when I hear all of the trauma that you've been through and that you just still have so much faith in the Lord and you are still just so thankful to have him in your life. I just think of Job and I think of the story of Job and it's

It's just that you have him. And I think that there's something so sweet about that. And that's not to make light of any of the things that you've gone through. But I think that there is in your life, what it seems like is this true and just like real raw reliance on the Lord that so many people don't have, you know, because we can. ⁓

We can feel good and we can do good whenever things are going good. But like I said, I feel like I've seen people walk away.

with just one of these things or even half of one of these things. ⁓ And so I just think that that is just.

It's just amazing and it just shows how much you trust the Lord and how much He cares for you in that He's held you in His hands regardless of all of these things. ⁓ But yeah, I just I would love for you to share a few of like the practical things that you're talking about on the slides, whether that be verses or whether that be ⁓

You know, just, just little things just would love for you to share a few things for practically just how you've, you've navigated this.

Megan (40:27)
Yeah, get your butt in scripture That is where the Lord lives. He's everywhere right, but that is him speaking to us ⁓ There I think it's something like half of the Psalms or Psalms of laments ⁓ Like go go to scripture ⁓ Get into counseling like we We have this negative connotation. I think it's better now, but there's still sometimes this negative connotation about like no counseling I can't share with like

I wouldn't share my stuff with strangers. Get into counseling and... Okay, let me back up.

The Lord says, love me with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And we do a great job of like, I'm gonna over-spiritualize this and I'm gonna do, I'm just gonna pray through it. prayer is the most absolute powerful thing that you can do. 100%, you will never get me to not believe that. And I think that we need to attack really hard things in like this multifaceted way. ⁓ So it is reading scripture and reading through the Psalms of lament, it's getting into counseling, it's...

You know, practice practicing biblical event, ⁓ seeking community for support. Man, we heal in community. ⁓ We can't heal without the body of Christ around us. Maybe we can, but I think it's a lot harder. You know, we're two or three are gathered. He's there. So why would you not want to be with the people of the Lord? ⁓ I had to make a playlist that it was like, think initially it was only four or five songs. And I just listened to it on repeat.

over and over and over again. ⁓ Eli Holcomb and the Sons of Korah, they ⁓ just sing scripture. And that's beautiful and amazing. Let them sing scripture over you when you can't do it yourself. ⁓ Find activities that fill your soul. If it's a patch of grass in the sunshine, get outside and just feel the Lord in the outdoors. ⁓ And then we also need to explore our theology of suffering.

I think we're, we want to not feel pain. And yet if you think about our physical bodies, we have these tiny things in our bodies called nociceptors that help us to feel pain. So if I put my hand over the fire and it hurts, ⁓ hey, that's so people that don't have nociceptors, I don't remember the disease. They actually have to have people monitor them 24 seven because their body they'll fall down and break their leg and they don't know that they've broken their leg. ⁓

pain is on purpose, right? Or we're out for a long hike and we start to feel that blister, right? And what we do is our body naturally shifts away from it because I don't want to walk on that anymore, but it's an indicator that there's something wrong.

⁓ I think it's it's a C.S. Lewis quote that he talks about the word shouting to us in our pain, right? That's where he wants to find us and just be with us. He loves us so much. And if you can find a way to stay close to him. Do it. ⁓ Because he, you know, as much as I wanted to burn my Bible, ⁓ he's also the only place that I wanted to turn for help to.

McKenzie Piland (43:47)
Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. My dog is scratching at my door. She... She never does that.

Megan (43:54)
Yeah.

McKenzie Piland (44:01)
hold on, let me just let her in here. It'll be better that way.

Megan (44:06)
Just like.

McKenzie Piland (44:21)
Okay, you guys better be quiet now that you're in here.

Megan (44:24)
Hahaha

McKenzie Piland (44:33)
Something's going on. These dogs are being weird.

Megan (44:38)
They know stuff,

McKenzie Piland (44:42)
⁓ sorry. So I do want to ask you a question though. Like where, where this faith, where this, just reliance on the Lord.

came from, comes from, like, did you have, I mean, when I hear your story, I just think, man, you must have had like really solid parents or really solid, like somebody in your life that, you know, helped you, mentored you. I don't know. Is that the case or, you know, like, have you just had this, this deep relationship with the Lord from a young age or kind like, yeah, I don't know. Just, I hope that makes sense. Like,

Talk to us about that.

Megan (45:31)
Yeah, I mean, I think I told you before, I was raised in church, both of my parents loved the Lord. So I grew up in a church that was very legalistic. You can look the right way on the outside. And I did, I started to look the right way on the outside and very quickly turned into Jesus.

tells the Pharisees that they're whitewashed tombs, that they look great on the outside, but on the inside is dead man's bones. That was me. I walked around for a really long time ⁓ pretending, like in Sunday school, it was always boys against girls, and we had Bible trivia after the Bible story. And the girls always won, because I always knew all the answers. But none of it lived here. In my heart, it was all here in my head. ⁓

When I was in, I'm trying to remember if I was in high school. I think I might've been in college. I sat down with a friend, cousin, distant cousin of mine. I knew that she loved the Lord. And I remember telling her, Angela, I want to want to read my Bible. I want to want to know the Lord, but I don't know how to do it. Like, I don't even know how to get there. So how do I even get there? And we talked for probably two hours.

I couldn't tell you anything else that she said, but her suggestion was, sleep with your Bible in your bed. When you wake up in the morning before your feet even hit the floor, read one Psalm and just work your way all the way through the Psalms and see what happens. And there's a lot, there's so much of God's character in there. You know, how he, he created us and formed us in Psalm 119. I mean, all of those Psalms of lament. ⁓

you know, is it Psalm 51 where it's after David has been caught with Bathsheba and he says, I'm so sorry. Like if you want to, if you want to experience raw connection with the Lord, there's so many of the Psalms are written in that way to connect with him. And think that's where it started for me. And I think it also helped, ⁓ like taking those baby steps of obedience and watching him be fatal, like that first move to Missouri.

And I stepped out in faith, lots of fasting, lots of praying, ⁓ using scripture to know that I was supposed to go, just that confirmation that the Lord gave me. And when it got hard, just his faithfulness in that first hard thing. And so when he's faithful in the tiny, the smallish hard thing, he's going to be faithful the next time. And so it was like this building block almost of, okay, he was, if he...

If he was faithful before, he's going to be faithful again. That part of his character isn't going to change. I might not hear him for a while. It might be 400 years of silence, right? It might feel like 400 years of silence, but he's still there. He's still working.

McKenzie Piland (48:43)
Yeah, yeah, wow. Wow. I'm just, I just have no words for this whole conversation. I'm just like, you, I'm just, it sounds weird to say like I'm impressed with you, but I think just like your, your faith and your.

Megan (48:51)
No!

Mm-mm.

McKenzie Piland (49:09)
Reliance. I'm gonna keep saying that like your faith in your reliance on the Lord is just is just so admirable ⁓ And it's just it for me personally, you know being someone who

You know, I've been through some hard things in my life, but, you know, for the most part, I would say like I've been pretty blessed, you know, in a lot of ways. And it's like, man, what in the world do I have to complain about, to worry about, to, ⁓ you know, stress about, to be angry with God about, to be, I don't know, you know what I mean? Like, it's just really, it's really humbling for me. ⁓

Personally to hear hear your story and just hear the kind of faith that you have in the kind of just relationship with you have that you have with the Lord I just think it's so sweet. I know it's been hard and I know that it's been forged through a lot of junk But you know The fact that you you even said like the biggest miracle is that I saw my faith and like ⁓

I'm just so thankful that I have Jesus and nothing else matters.


McKenzie Piland (50:55)
No, but just that that you at this point are just so thankful that you have Jesus and like that is truly all that matters to you and man, if we all could have have that posture and have that perspective and just have that deep, intimate, real raw connection with the Lord, I think that's just something we should all strive for. ⁓

Yeah, yeah, I'm just, I'm at a loss. I'm at a loss for words. I'm just, I'm just so, I'm so sorry, you know, to hear all these things and, you know, for you to have, have dreams and have aspirations and feel like you're walking in God's path and, you know, just have those doors open, but then immediately close. Like that has to be really confusing. ⁓

Megan (51:31)
dear.

Mm-hmm.

McKenzie Piland (51:51)
But yet you still trust God. I'm just so amazed at that. And it's such a miracle and such a beautiful thing that despite all of this, ⁓ you still love Jesus. And he's still the most important thing in your life. So I just thank you so much for sharing all that you have. And I know that it's not easy. I know that. ⁓

There's a lot. There's a lot wrapped up in this. And I know that we have gone back and forth about whether or not you even wanted to do this because you were like, I'm not sure what to share. Like it's been a lot and you know all of that. But I just, I just thank you for sharing because I think for, for those of us listening, like I said earlier that

Megan (52:29)
Yep.

McKenzie Piland (52:40)
have it have it a lot a lot better you know like it really puts into perspective a lot of things for those listening ⁓ i i think you know that's at least what it's done for me and i hope that's at least what it does for for others i would love for you to share just leave the listener if maybe they have had you know tragedy after tragedy door open door closed or open door closed

you know, somebody that's listening that's been through, you know, I'm not even going to say similar, but just it seems like an ongoing cascade of of tragic mess. What word of advice or piece of encouragement would you give to that person?

Megan (53:33)
It can be really easy when you're in the midst of pain to isolate, and that it is for me, or to self-medicate. It's the alcohol that leads to other things. I know people that their life was great and one tragic thing happened and they turned into a drug addict. It's pornography, it's all of those things and that is a temporary fix.

to the only thing that can answer pain is Jesus. ⁓ find somebody somewhere, one person that you trust that you can text and say, will you come and sit with me? You don't have to say anything. In fact, if we learn anything from Job, it's that we need to keep our mouths shut when people are in pain. just, think the best thing that we can do is ask for the ministry of presence.

Because if I had any friend that reached out to me and said, I need help, will you come be with me? I would, there's no doubt in my mind. And so if I would do that for one of my people, why would I, why am I so hesitant to reach out when I'm in pain? Cause I don't want to be a burden. I don't want somebody else to have to deal with my yuck, but it's what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. And if somebody's weeping, even if it's for years, if it's, you know,

decades long cancer journey. Be the kind of friend that Jesus wants you to be and show up day after day, year after year and sit with them in the yuck while they're scraping their boils and just be the hands and feet of Jesus.

McKenzie Piland (55:13)
Yeah, yeah, that's good. Really good. ⁓ Megan, I would love for you to just share lastly with listeners where they can connect with you, where they can find you.

Megan (55:29)
I am more of a lurker on social media. The only place that I really interact with strangers of any kind is in the Christian Outdoor Collective, which is where we got connected. So yeah, that Facebook page is pretty active. I love being there. I've gotten to help lead a couple of events. And then also we've been doing several women's Zoom calls where we've done

Like we've done everything from learning how to pee in the woods to international travel and kind of everything in between. And that has just been some really sweet community for those ladies. And spoiler alert, there's going to be a TCOC event in Arizona. So come on out and experience the grandeur of my favorite state in the U.S. and just come hang out. And specifically if you have lost a child,

or have long ongoing health issues, please, I'm not always great at checking like those message requests. The joke is in our TCOC leadership that Megan can't use technology to save her life. So I will try. But specifically those two things, if those two things have happened for anybody, definitely reach out because that is...

the crummiest things that can happen to anybody and it is long and hard and ugly and I would love to help you walk through that.

McKenzie Piland (56:59)
Alert.

Megan (57:01)
That's ongoing

insomnia. Megan needs to take her medication to go to sleep.

McKenzie Piland (57:07)
⁓

Well, Megan, again, just like I said before, thank you so much for sharing. Thank you so much for doing this and being bold and being courageous and ⁓ just sharing all that you did. I know that ⁓ it has been hard and I know that you've been in my prayers for at least the last year ⁓ since we connected. I just just again, thank you so much for this conversation. I feel like I butchered half of it, but

⁓ Hopefully it was helpful to somebody and I just hope we all remember from this conversation how lucky we are to have Jesus and how he's the only thing that matters. So thank you so much.

Megan (57:36)
⁓ no, you did great. ⁓

Yeah, it was an honor to be here. Can I pray for your listeners super fast?

McKenzie Piland (57:55)
Yes, please.

Megan (58:00)
Father, we love you.

We know that you made us before you even thought about creating the world, which is super humbling. ⁓ And people, I have no doubt, come to Kenzie's page because they want to hear other people's stories of hope and just how you are faithful in the midst of that. And so Father, I just pray for her people, her listeners right now that are going through chaos and pain and...

Even if what seems like to them is super small, but it's just so deeply painful. Father, I pray that you would meet them in their pain. You never ask us to be anything that we're not or to go anywhere that we can't. And I just pray, Father, that you would come alongside the people that are in the midst of the yoke, that are holding up their Bibles ready to light them on fire. I pray, Father, that you would just be so real and evident in their lives. I pray that you would. ⁓

Bring Jeremiah 33, three to mind. Call on me and I will answer you. That is a promise for your people. And so I just ask Father, you would give somebody the strength to cry out to you. I pray that you would make people brave enough to ask for help to shoot the text that says, will you come sit with me? I pray that you will make people brave to sit in the yuck with our friends and our brothers and sisters and just be the hands and feet of Jesus in really powerful ways.

And I pray father, just a special blessing over Kenzie and all of the work that she does to make her podcast just a reality and to get your story, your glory, your fame into the, into the interwebs. And so I just pray father that you continue to bring her the right people, the right funding, the right stories that would just glorify and honor your name. We love you so much father. Thanks for loving us and for never, ever, ever leaving our side. And it's in your holy and powerful name. We pray that.

McKenzie Piland (59:41)
you

Megan (1:00:00)
Amen.

McKenzie Piland (1:00:02)
Thank you so much. That's very sweet. I've never had anybody do that before. Okay.

Megan (1:00:04)
Yeah, you're welcome.