Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 2)

3/28/24
Botch Job Society
Episode 5 - Culinary Chaos: Hilariously Bad Recipes (Part 2)

WATCH THE VIDEO VERSION ON OUR WEBSITE.

Buckle up, food enthusiasts, because we’re about to take you on a hilarious jaunt through the culinary cataclysm of the internet’s worst-rated recipes! In the second part of our culinary misadventures, we dive into the doughy depths of despair where we tackle a cookie recipe rated so bad, it's almost criminal.  Will these cookies be a surprising delight or a crumbly catastrophe? The outcome is as unpredictable as our cooking skills. Join us for an episode filled with suspense, snark, and maybe (just maybe) edible cookies.

[0:00] Recap
[01:20] Intro
[01:52] Merch Ad
[02:52] Chris Begins Baking
[16:51] Taste Test
[18:24] Sum Up and Outro

Transcript

Botch Job Society Cooking Disaster

Speaker 1 0:00

Botch Job Society is produced by Rock Opera Studios .

Speaker 2 0:07

Previously on Botch Job Society .

Speaker 1 0:10

So what we're doing is cooking two recipes , but these recipes are the worst rated . I don't know how I feel about that yet .

Speaker 2 0:16

You're probably used to . You know you boil the noodles on the side or something . We're just putting this straight in the pan with the cheese . I don't really know what's going on . You wonder , when you see recipes like this , chris , like who comes up with this crap ? You know this is so stupid . I don't know why you're trying to make it good man .

Speaker 1 0:32

With the amount of cheese in this . They don't want us to poop later .

Speaker 2 0:35

That might be one of the most disgusting looking things I've ever seen in my life . Delicious these noodles aren't softened up or anything . What is this that we're cooking here ? I've never not wanted to eat something so bad in my life . It's really good .

Speaker 1 0:51

Burning smell on the top is not pleasant .

Speaker 2 0:55

Like initially you want to say , oh , it's not terrible , and then you keep chewing and you're like , oh , it is . This tastes really bad . It's just straight cheese .

Speaker 1 1:03

That's that fontino .

Speaker 2 1:04

It's cheese , but it's just .

Speaker 1 1:07

I keep saying it . It's just burnt dairy , it's not good .

Speaker 2 1:11

I'm sure you're very glad that you watched it . Now you get to see what Chris has in store for us . Let's move on to dessert this one here . Let me tell you what he's a Philly . Can you see how maybe it would have been a failure . Before we get into that , let's talk about merch man .

Speaker 2 2:00

Look at what you have on right now . Why would you be wearing that ? Throw it out . You could be wearing this , or , better yet , what about this ? Or maybe even this ? There's actually infinite possibilities here . Walk with me . Talk with me . You don't even have to buy shirts . You can buy pillows . We got blankets . We don't have blankets . We got Snuggies . We don't have Snuggies . We got blankets . We don't have blankets . We got Snuggies . We don't have Snuggies . We got coffee mugs we don't have mugs . Now , I'm not gonna throw this , because this is a perfectly good pillow . You see we have so many options here at Botch Drop Society . So go to the link in the bio , check out the website , scroll on over there where it says merch and buy away . Buy four things , I'll give you the fifth one free , no guarantees . I'm a shysty salesman . Go buy some merch .

Speaker 1 2:52

So now that we had our entree , so to speak , it is now time for dessert . So this is actually titled Worst Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe . We'll see how bad it is Based on just looking at the ingredients . The only ones that stick out to me are the cornstarch and the maple syrup . Those don't seem like typical chocolate chip cookie ingredients , but we'll find out if that's the case . So first step is to melt and cool butter five minutes . I don't know what that means , but this is a lot of but is this typical ?

Speaker 2 3:37

I'm not much of a baker .

Speaker 1 3:38

Okay , cuz it seems like a lot of butter .

Speaker 2 3:41

I think so , though , but Now we put the butter in the microwave .

Speaker 1 3:47

Start with a minute . Okay , so the next step .

Speaker 2 3:51

You might be surprised at how quick that butter melts .

Speaker 1 3:53

Yeah , that's why , well , and of course I'm this high and my microwave is that high , I have to jump . Next step is to stir the butter and the sugars together . So let me get the sugar measured out . So I need half a cup of normal sugar . Come on , okay , half a cup , that's a lot of sugar . Check on the butter Okay , it should be fine . A cup and a half of the brown sugar , that's a lot of sugar . And of course , we got the maple syrup still coming .

Speaker 2 4:49

Oh yeah .

Speaker 1 4:55

I believe it's not butter , just get a little mix .

Speaker 2 5:01

You almost look like you know what you're doing .

Speaker 1 5:11

Nope , I don't think I'm a very good cook or a very good baker , so if this recipe isn't already terrible enough , I'm probably going to mess it up with my skills . So it was a cup and a half of packed brown sugar . I probably need a spoon .

Speaker 2 5:32

Look at all that brown sugar .

Speaker 1 5:36

The only brown sugar I need is behind the camera . Glad that was well received . Okay , that is our cup . You should see the way that just plopped in there . And then we need a half . I feel like mine's going to be a lot messier than yours is . You have way more to do . Yeah , I do have a lot more to do . I have one pan and that is the half Into the bowl . Into the bowl . See , baking always requires more tools , absolutely .

Speaker 2 6:12

Which I find annoying .

Speaker 1 6:13

Alright , watch this pour that good butter pour Mmm , and then we're just gonna stir .

Speaker 2 6:30

And then we're just gonna stir , there you go .

Speaker 1 6:32

This is already not feeling familiar . I can't say . I've made chocolate chip cookies many times .

Speaker 2 6:39

You didn't bake a lot growing up with family or anything , not really .

Speaker 1 6:44

We were more the . Let's get the Pillsbury pre-made ones and just pop them in , Throw them in the oven . Yeah , but this doesn't seem right to me . I mean , I don't know if you can see this consistency , but it's a little it says , okay , stir together butter and sugars , but it doesn't say I don't think the sugar is gonna dissolve , add eggs , one at a time . There's two of them .

Speaker 2 7:12

Can you crack an egg with one hand ?

Speaker 1 7:14

No , wait , you mean like going and then yeah . I could try .

Speaker 2 7:17

So us , we're gonna get show us how good you are .

Speaker 1 7:31

Oh , I got shell . It's not part of the recipe . There we go this one's crunchy . They might be crunchy , the amount of sugar that's in here . All right , real gritty All right , take two See if I can do it a second time there you go . That's better , yeah , but now my hand's covered in yolk .

Speaker 2 7:58

Small price to pay .

Speaker 1 8:03

Oh , one at a time . Okay , so I've already screwed it up . Okay , well , we'll just see .

Speaker 2 8:14

Oops , I didn't want to backseat drive .

Speaker 1 8:16

No , please .

Speaker 2 8:19

I need all the help I can get . There you go oh .

Speaker 1 8:26

God , a little too rigorous Whisking , I think , alright .

Speaker 2 8:34

Something that is going to become a part of these episodes . I feel just need to throw botched across the screen . The same way , wasted pops up on GTA's kiddie's die yeah .

Speaker 1 8:44

Okay , I would say that's pretty well blended . It still sounds very grainy , but I think that that's intended . Okay , delicious Vanilla extract and the maple syrup , because this doesn't have enough sugar in it .

Speaker 2 9:07

You ever heard of maple syrup ?

Speaker 1 9:08

in a cookie it's a weird In a chocolate chip cookie . Yeah , the whole episode is gonna be me just trying to take this off . Ow my eyes , I start turning into a vanilla bean . The thing about vanilla extract is it always smells so nice , but have you ever taken ? That's just too much , too much sugar .

Speaker 2 9:56

Like you're mixing while horseback riding , all right . The color is consistent with chocolate chip cookies , but How's it smelling ?

Speaker 1 10:13

Mm overly , the maple syrup's gonna probably overpower it . Like it smells , just like just straight maple syrup . Yeah , okay , okay so I have to mix the wet ingredients Like it smells just like straight maple syrup , okay , okay . So I have to mix the wet ingredients with the mixture of flour , cornstarch , baking powder , baking soda and salt . Just going to get that going .

Speaker 2 10:33

This is going to make a lot of cookies . Does it say how many this recipe is intended to make ? I don't think this one did .

Speaker 1 10:44

You might need a bigger baking sheet . Yeah , I don't think we're gonna . I'm gonna have leftover , leftover cookies that no one's gonna wanna eat .

Speaker 2 10:50

Maybe you'll be surprised and they're gonna be actually really good .

Speaker 1 10:54

Yeah , I don't know . Okay , and then baking soda and then salt . I don't even really like chocolate chip cookies that much . How could we have known that a monster was living among us ?

Speaker 2 11:17

How dare you ?

Speaker 1 11:18

I know , I know this is what I'm gonna be doing after I eat them , or maybe after that mac and cheese ?

Speaker 2 11:32

possibly this is not looking , yeah . So what happens when you don't mix in the eggs wanted ?

Speaker 1 11:38

it to Somehow . I don't think that that was the problem . Okay , there you go .

Speaker 2 11:45

Now it's getting chunky .

Speaker 1 11:48

But it's still so powdery I definitely did the right amount Three and a quarter cups of flour .

Speaker 2 11:56

These are Griselda Blanco chocolate chip cookies . No big deal .

Speaker 1 11:59

Oh my gosh . Do I need to use ?

Speaker 2 12:01

my hands . I was just thinking you might need to , Should I ? Should I get in there ?

Speaker 1 12:06

You might be able to keep if you keep mixing you might be good you might have to trust the process . Okay , maybe I use the spatula .

Speaker 2 12:12

Looks like you're about to make pasta .

Speaker 1 12:15

Oops , this does look a little bit like pasta . Okay , let me . Oh , this was a bad idea . Oh no , this is a terrible idea , oh no . All right , I think I'm gonna have to go in with my hands . Okay , it's not as powdery as it was before . How am I gonna get this off my hands ? I got an idea . Oh yeah .

Speaker 2 12:47

Oh geez .

Speaker 1 12:50

That's a thumbnail . Yeah , alright . Most important step Chocolate chips . Chocolate chips . Two cups , which is a lot . Well , maybe not . I keep saying everything's a lot , this is a lot of , but is this typical ? This is going to make a lot of cookies , which is a lot , but maybe it's just my inexperience . Oh no , it's a lot . Oh no , it's a lot , don't worry . Alright , as you feel . Mmm got that one , mmm tasty , we'll do one more Tasty . So I'm going to use this quarter cup excuse me , this quarter cup scoop to replace an ice cream scoop , because I do not have one . Could I have gone out and gotten one ? Sure , but we don't do that here .

Speaker 1 13:48

Shame on you , I know all right . Place two to three tables teaspoons two inches apart . Cook for 13 minutes in a 350 degree oven . Okay , we are preheated already . I have my cookie sheet . There's a piece of sheet . I'm probably going to edit that out . Should I grease this , do you think ?

Speaker 2 14:17

Maybe a little cooking spray ? Yeah , a little quick dab . I always do yeah because you't know . Should I grease this , do you think ? Maybe a little cooking spray ? Yeah , a little quick dab . I always do yeah because you never know , all right , there we go . Jesus .

Speaker 1 14:35

Is that too big ? I don't know how big cookies are supposed to be . It doesn't say I don't know how big cookies are supposed to be . It doesn't say I don't know this one might turn out .

Speaker 2 14:43

I really hope Yours looks way better than that mac and cheese . I'll tell you that .

Speaker 1 14:47

I kind of hope it doesn't turn out . So now that we've got we've got one , two , three , 12 , 12 cookies here we're gonna put them in the oven for 13 minutes at 350 . All right , set timer , all right those are going and we'll be back in 13 minutes , maybe . All right , so the timer just went off for our worst chocolate chip cookies . I'm gonna take them out of the oven . I can only use one because I gotta put it on the thing Shh .

Speaker 2 15:29

Do you want that towel back ?

Speaker 1 15:31

No , no no , it's fine . Okay , a little more wrinkly than I was expecting , don't they look a little more Shush A little more . Oh , there's some nice powder there . They look like a desert , like a desert landscape a little bit Not as smooth as you'd typically see a cookie .

Speaker 1 16:04

Yeah , doesn't mean they won't taste bad , but already , based on presentation , not a lot of confidence so far . So we gotta let these cool . Looks like SpongeBob's grandma . Spongebob , I always okay , so where's that mom ? Total side note where his mom , but also his mom and his dad , I thought they were cookies . They look like sponges , but we have to let these cool . Well , once these are Cool enough , then we will have a taste test and then eat them .

Speaker 2 16:39

So stay tuned One eternity later .

Speaker 1 16:45

It's another moment of truth , whether these are the worst cookies or if they'remeh .

Speaker 2 17:02

Damn it . Is it actually pretty good ? They're pretty good . Yeah , there you go . Let me see what we got here .

Speaker 1 17:15

Okay , try it . Still a bit warm , but they're not the best . They're not terrible , though . No , I think there could be something to kick them up a notch , but I don't know why these are rated so low . I think these are maybe a three and a half four at best .

Speaker 2 17:40

Well , yeah , I'm kind of mad that I'm not mad at these . Yeah , me too . I'm also like what's going on . You see how he set me up , guys . He gave me the mac and cheese , which was at best 1.5 out of five , and then you get the cookies . It's like , eh , if I were to rate it probably three and a half , maybe a four .

Speaker 1 18:09

I'll tell you what I'm disappointed that they weren't worse , but oh well , I'm shocked .

Speaker 2 18:17

All right , so that was the botch job version of Top Chef . Essentially , my dish , this lovely mac and cheese some of you may know , because you're probably going to come over after this and try some , not knowing that it's not good . My dish one out of five , 1.5 . No real flavor to it , just cheese .

Speaker 1 18:42

Yeah , so yeah , mine wasn't great , chris you on the other hand , yeah , I'm kind of disappointed that this turned out so good , because Like they're not bad . No , I would serve it to people and I don't think anybody would think twice about it . You know what I mean . So I'm kind of mad that this turned out so good . However , I am glad that I found a recipe that I can now make . That I know won't be a disaster , but , yeah , I wish this was worse . It's weird to say that , yeah , but it's kinda true .

Speaker 2 19:12

I'm gonna see if I can find some more bad recipes .

Speaker 1 19:15

Yeah .

Speaker 2 19:16

And next time I'm gonna make sure it's bad .

Speaker 1 19:17

Yeah .

Speaker 2 19:18

Yeah , and next time I'm gonna make sure it's bad . Yeah , yeah , I actually asked my ideas about that . Yeah , so this was Top Chef Bot's Job Edition and I'm gonna go enjoy more of these cookies and peddle off this mac and cheese to make people think it's good . I can't wait to see their reactions when they try to pretend that it's good and it's terrible .

Social Media Subscription and Support

Speaker 2 19:37

Click that subscribe button .

Speaker 1 19:39

Yes .

Speaker 2 19:39

If you're on YouTube , click the bell as well . Make sure you get the notifications when we post . Hit the website down in the bio as well . Subscribe to the Patreon . If you really love us , I'd appreciate that and go buy some merch . We'll see you next time . Bye time .