“So far away but still so near
The lights come on, the music dies
but you don't see me standing there”
-Robin, Dancing On My Own.
It's time to talk about isolation and loneliness.
Welcome to Solo Worklife Meditations.
If you work alone most of the time and experience that mental chatter that's a little bit too strong because there's nobody to bounce your stress off of, then you are in the right place, my friend. It doesn't matter if you're a small business owner, solopreneur, digital nomad, remote worker, or content creator.
These meditations are made to help you let go of the stress to fully utilize your creative fire. If you're new here, welcome. This meditation is part of the Solo Worklife Meditations project, which includes a podcast, YouTube channel, and a newsletter. The newsletter contains the new episode information, plus I'm sharing things that are helping me through my solo workday. Check it out at soloworklifemeditations.substack.com.
There's three parts to this meditation. The first is an affirmation, the second breathing, and the third is a small body movement. You can be sitting or lying down, however you feel the most relaxed. However, please do not do this meditation while driving.
Close your eyes if that's comfortable for you. If not, you could stare at something if you like. It's okay. In fact, you may want to look at something beautiful. Feel free to view the image on the YouTube video version of this episode. They will always be relaxing images I've taken myself.
Isolation.
Loneliness.
Ooh, did the room temperature just drop when I said those words? It feels colder when we feel alone, doesn't it?
I can reach out when I feel alone.
I don't know about you, but I sometimes feel like there is a cosmic reason why no one is contacting me during my solo workday.
My mind can make up some pretty creative stories on this. On good days, however, I remind myself that I don't have to wait for them to contact me. I can initiate a conversation.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
We all want to be sought after, to be wanted, right? But if everyone stays in their head and no one reaches out, then we're all stuck in our isolation. Let's not do that.
Say it out loud with me three times so your brain absorbs this fact.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
This seems simple, but it is far from it. There's a vulnerability in reaching out to someone, even if you know them well, even to say hello implies that you want something from them, some of their attention.
There is a risk of rejection. No one likes rejection. I can reach out when I feel alone.
You can handle the rejection. You can. You're strong.
I know you are.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
But don't let that stop you.
You deserve to have friendly chatter in your life. Even in your productive daily work life. You don't have coworkers around you. Most of the time it's just you. So you will need to build your own friendly work banter.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
Email a friend, an acquaintance. Offer to help someone in a group you're in. Put yourself out there, even if just a little bit.
Don't punish yourself for wanting company around you, at least digitally around you. Your need for work companions is natural and healthy.
I can reach out when I feel alone.
Let's shift over to our breath now. We're going to breathe in twice quickly and then immediately.
Like this. Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Come on, come on, do it with me. Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Again.
Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Building community within a remote workday is not easy, but it is possible. Very possible.
Breathe in. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Have you heard of the term email apnea? It's when you forget to breathe. When you get an email you don't want to read and you hold your breath in instead of breathing naturally. Some of us may do this when we want to send a “HI” message to someone during our solo workday. Do this breathing exercise and send that message. Open up your office banter with your breath and message.
As we wrap up this meditation, we're going to work on our upper chest. Place both of your hands at the top of your chest, just below your neck.
Tap your chest with one hand at a time. Just move the fingers up and down, not the whole hand. Lightly. Left, right, left right, left right. Just a little patter. This action can ground us when we feel intense emotions like loneliness and isolation.
Maybe do this before sending a message to someone you want to chat with during your solo workday. Left, right, left, right, left right. Great.
Remember, as you go back to work, remind yourself,
I can reach out when I feel alone.
You're a lovely person and the right people will be delighted to hear from you. We're all caught up being busy and connection moments like this. The ones you're going to create, will make someone smile and it will help you feel less lonely at the same time. It's a win win.
Feel free to open your eyes now.
Thanks for joining me for this meditation. If there's an aspect of solo worklife that you'd like me to focus on in these episodes, let me know. I'll have a link to the request form in the show notes or video notes, depending on where you're seeing this.
You can get more information on the podcast at soloworklifemeditations.substack.com.
Okay, get back to work now.