Ep 116: [Shahida Alvarado] Courage, Creative Control, and Publishing on Your Own Terms

What does it really take to call yourself a writer? 

At the beginning of this week’s episode, you’ll hear an original poem read by our guest Shahida Alvarado. It brings to the forefront the invisible gates women face when we dare to pursue a creative dream. From thinking about "why now?" to the behind-the-scenes realities of navigating the publishing world, Elizabeth and Shahida talk about what it truly means to bring a book into existence on your own terms. You’ll hear about creative control, what success actually looks like for a writer, and how self-publishing has transformed them from writers into something far more expansive. Whether you’re hesitant to walk through the gate and call yourself a writer, somewhere in the messy middle, or inching toward a publish date of your own, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. 

Meet Shahida Alvarado:

Shahida Alvarado is a writer, educator, and yoga teacher whose work blends personal narrative, mindfulness, and storytelling. She is the author of the reflective poetry collection When I Meet Myself and the children’s book The Gecko Who Learned Yoga, both inspired by her lived experiences, travel, and personal transformation. Through her writing and teaching, she explores how vulnerability, movement, and self-reflection can be translated into meaningful creative work.

Connect with Shahida Alvarado:

https://bloogeckoliteracy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/alwaysinyogaflow
https://www.facebook.com/share/1C6E3wHgFz/

 Welcome to the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. If you've ever felt the pull to write your truth, to shape the chaos of real life into something meaningful and to share your journey with the world, you're in the right place. We're your hosts, Elizabeth and Stephanie, writers, coaches, and entrepreneurs who believe in you and know how important it is to find a writing community to guide you on your path to self-publishing.

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Transcript

Elizabeth Wilson 1:20

​Welcome writers to the Inspired Writer Collective Podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth, and I'm joined today by Shahida Alvarado, who has multiple books published. She's got a poetry collection,"When I Meet Myself", as well as a children's book,"The Gecko Who Learned Yoga" based off of her travel experience and her own yoga experience. And she's going to open up-- us up on this episode with a special poem that she's written. Welcome,

Shahida Alvarado 1:49

everyone. Thank you so much for that nice introduction, Elizabeth. I'm so excited to be here today, and so grateful and honored that you have welcomed me onto your podcast. Um, I am going to start today's podcast, uh, with a poem that I actually felt inspired to write because of my own journey towards becoming a writer. I feel like writing allows you to become a storyteller. And I love writing poems because it's short, and it carries such a lot of meaning when you read it. I hope that this poem, will be able to resonate with a lot of the writers out there. I wrote it when I was self-reflecting about my own journey and so I'm gonna s- read it from my my laptop. The poem is titled Rising Voices. My presence did not arrive quietly. I came through clenched teeth and calendar pages, through rooms where my name was spoken only when something needed fixing. I learned early that silence can be a language forced on those whose worth is overlooked. Women who carry their lives on their backs, who are expected to endure pain without being seen. But listen, I was never empty. I was quietly storing my thunder. The world mistook my patience for absence, my waiting for weakness, my softness for surrender. They failed to see the way my spine learned to hold the sky, while my hands fed children, taught lessons, made peace with unfinished dreams. At times, I have do- I have been doubted, measured late, asked,"Why now?" As if time was a gate I had no right to pass through. But my voice echoes. I did not start late. I started ready. I speak now with a voice tempered by living, seasoned by tears that dried without applause, strengthened by nights when my belief was a private act performed alone. I choose to speak for all the women who learned to carve their stories into ordinary days, who were interrupted by life and kept going anyway. And I say to them:"Lift your head high, sisters. Your story is alive. You will not beg the world to listen. We are here because the world has already been shaped by our voices. We rise not as echoes, not as footnotes, but as women who know their names, who claim their breath and speak as we were always meant to be heard."

Elizabeth Wilson 5:26

Beautiful. you for sharing that. I know that's gonna resonate with a lot of people. It certainly resonates for me and my, I guess, to myself through writing because I, I mean, I guess in some sense I, I've always been a journaler and things, but to, to think that, like, to share that, that writing with, with anyone else. Um, I loved that phrase,"quietly storing my thunder." And then I, I really could get a sense of your journey and what I know of it already you talked about, you didn't start late, you were starting ready because I know you've shared with me that you published your book at 46. And, and so, like, I understood, like, as you were talking about the idea of being questioned, like,"Why now? Why are you doing this now?" That- It feels like such a, second act thing to suddenly bring in this new plot point of like,"Oh, I'm a writer." But I th- I think so many people find themselves in that space, especially women, especially the people we've talked to on this podcast before, where we've had careers, we've gone through, you know, raised children. We've had these whole lives ahead of this time where we're now sitting down and reflecting and contemplating and processing, we're doing that through our writing, and we're... feel this urgency to share it because we know that there are women who are still in that career, still holding those babies, still d- in that earlier stage that could really use those words that we are only now able to access

Shahida Alvarado 7:10

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth Wilson 7:11

tap into. And I, I think that, that piece you shared really just does so much justice to describing what that of becoming a writer can feel like for people.

Shahida Alvarado 7:26

You know, I purposefully chose the word, um, like gate, like an entryway because I feel like as, as a woman or as a writer, y- it's like you, you giving yourself permission to, to do this for yourself. But at the same time, it gets questioned because you have such a lot of responsibilities. You have a responsibility to be a woman, first of all. A c- you have a career. Be able to sustain yourself financially if you're single and you don't have a partner or a husband. And then if you are married or you have a partner or a spouse and children, your time gets divided and there's such a little bit of time left for yourself that you feel like you're constantly opening up this gate, but you have to ask permission,"Can I enter it?" And there are days when, you know, that permission isn't there. It, it's not verbalized, but it's silently whispering,"No, you're not allowed to enter this gate today because you have this to do and that to do." And we're human. We feel tired. We become exhausted. And in order to be creative and to write from a place that has a lot of meaning, you have to be present in your writing. You can't just... It's not a chore. It's not something you can say,"I'm gonna write two pages today." It doesn't work like that. Writing doesn't work. Yes, when the reader receives the book, they, they receive it in chapters, in page numbers. But you know- Uh, Elizabeth. There's no timeframe to writing. Today you could write two sentences, and that's all you can, can do. And then there's other days where you can write pages and pages, you know? And it's not even to say all those pages are going to be part of the finished, um, book or, uh, journal, whatever you're writing, because you're just trying to find this authenticity that And you want it to feel like when somebody opens this, they're able to either relate or find their own story in your story, and that's challenging. And so it's so hard, you know? And then we come back to, to the age, like what is the right age to start making your dreams a reality, you know? Is it always there in a form of manifestation? Have you always felt like, you know, when I was younger, I'm gonna be a writer, or I'm gonna be a poet, or I'm gonna write a memoir, but it's always been there whispering, echoing, and then you finally find yourself ready in life. But then with that readiness, you start questioning yourself. Is Are people gonna like what I write? Are they going to be able to relate? Is it Is this worth my time? Is this dream too big for my ambition? And you start doubting yourself, you know? So even when you arrive or when you go through the gate, now you, you feel like,"I'm here now, but what's the next step? Where do I Who's here to support me? Um, what are my resources? Am I able to do this? Is this going to be good enough? Am I good enough?" It, it just, it's becomes an emotional journey now. And I feel like, for me, at the age of 46, I finally opened up the gates. And I opened it up, but there was a lot of questions like,"Why now? Is it necessary to walk away from a career, from a solid salary, that was sustaining my, my life, that was making other dreams possible?" Because the irony about having a career and getting a salary every month is that you can do other things. Other dreams are happening. But is that good enough, especially for me? Yes, my other dreams were being fulfilled, but- My place and is writing. That's where I thrive. That's where I feel I am most at home when I am sitting with a book, a pen, or on, on a computer, and that's where I feel that's my home because that-- those words... Sorry.

Elizabeth Wilson 12:49

the, the depth in which you feel it, and I'm so glad that you've, that you've found this for yourself, that you've found this avenue, and you were enough to, step into it. It's... I, I love that you highlighted that, you know, we can't approach our writing like we do all of our other tasks. It's not something that's easy to check off the to-do list, right? Because there's no metrics, and there's nothing to say that reading something isn't enhancing your writing or that taking a walk isn't feeding your creativity. It's, it's so different from so many of the other places in our life where it's like, the children, check.

Shahida Alvarado 13:31

Yes.

Elizabeth Wilson 13:32

school, check." It's just, it's, it almost feels like it's never done.

Shahida Alvarado 13:37

You know, I, I always tell myself I'm not gonna cry, but that's who I am. I'm the type of person, everything I do, it, it just comes from my heart. And I think as a writer, you need to know who you are before you can inform, teach, or even entertain someone because there's so many different, um, avenues to write, right? We all not, uh, memoir writers. We all not poets. We all not writing self-help books. Some of us are writing purely just for entertainment. But even whatever your genre is, it has to come from somewhere. And for me, I've always wanted to encourage people to do things outside of the box, to always step outside and say,"This is life. This is..." You know? But in order to, to really find that meaning in your life, you need to know who you are. Yeah. What type of writer you are. What message do you want the world to know? What sort of impact do you wanna have? And how do you want to deliver your voice? And it doesn't come overnight. You might not have written even one sentence But finding that voice takes years. And for me, my tears come from those years. It comes from the backstory that

Elizabeth Wilson 15:26

that, like, depth of devotion to it, right? Because it's more than just how is the reader going to receive it. There's just something that bubbles up in us as writers where just have something we have to get out, even just for ourselves. It's almost like a purging, right? And, and it's part of the processing and there's so much... And you've already highlighted this so beautifully already in this conversation, but there's, there's so much of a becoming the writer as we're writing, Like, it's a good thing you don't just write a book one day and publish it the next because there's so much that has to happen, like, you know, almost like a- opening up, right? To be ready to have your, your words out in the world. and I'm getting close to this stage. Um, my book is being published the end of June, and so I'm right on the tail ends of, like, finalizing the words, thank you. Um, finalizing, like, the final version. The cover's done. All the pieces are coming together, and it's forced me to start questioning what, what for me does success look like with publishing this book? And for me, in the ways that I'm choosing to, you know, qualify success, that when I read it, it is an accurate reflection of my voice, of my experience, and what I hoped to communicate to the world. And so it really makes me emotional almost every time I have to read through the, the book again for, you know, final edit checks and things like that because I can see that on the page. And yes, it took and a half years to get there and numerous, know, versions. Like the initial version of the book, mean, I would be surprised if even 5% is still the same. Like, it's just changed and evolved so much. I've evolved so much in my, my finding my voice and just accepting the fact that a kind of writer that doesn't these flowery, poetic metaphors and beautiful things that I admire in so many other writers' work. But I just present this raw emotional vulnerability you know, so my words are just very normal, you know?

Shahida Alvarado 19:09

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth Wilson 19:09

there's, there's a, a depth to the emotions that I think is what I really value in what I write and what I hope those readers who also value that will co- will find this book and appreciate that about it. You know?

Shahida Alvarado 19:29

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth Wilson 19:29

it's not gonna be something that's super but like you've said, I hope that that vulnerability and authenticity of the writing will be that open door allow the reader to see themselves at some point in my story.

Shahida Alvarado 19:49

I do like how you-- Sorry.

Elizabeth Wilson 19:52

ahead.

Shahida Alvarado 19:52

I do like how you define success for yourself. Uh, um, you know, listening to you, I f- I myself, you raised a question for me, you know, um, what does success look like as a writer? You know, and a lot of people think maybe successes are measured by the amount of books you sell.

Elizabeth Wilson 20:19

Mm-hmm.

Shahida Alvarado 20:20

Or,

Elizabeth Wilson 20:20

it is.

Shahida Alvarado 20:21

How many, uh, bookstores are carrying your books. Um, how many events you get invited to. But for all of us, it's different. Success isn't for me that way. In fact, I've had to start, um, social media accounts simply because of the world we live in now. You know, I don't see myself as an influencer. I see myself as a person that makes an impact. I always say that. If I'm going to, to do this, I want to make an impact. I, I really don't want to be using the space to promote things that I do not believe in. But I also want my readers to know who I am, and I'm not always writing, and I'm not always serious. I like having fun too. That's, that's me as a person. So I use it playfully, but I also use it to be relevant because that's the expectation we're living-- the world we're living in today. But that's not success. Success isn't measured by the amount of followers you have, but when someone reads your book, the impact they have with the words that's on the page. That, to me, is what success as a writer feels like. Especially with the children's book, I-- You say three and a half years, and it, it, it requires a lot of patience, don't you agree?

Elizabeth Wilson 21:54

Oh, I w- if I knew what it would take, I, I honestly don't know if I would've ever started.

Shahida Alvarado 22:00

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 22:01

one of those things that, like, you, you have, like, what they call beginner's luck, I think is just beginner's naivety, that you just don't know what you're up against, and so

Shahida Alvarado 22:10

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 22:10

go down that path blindly not knowing how long of a hike you just took on. And it-- that's a good thing because I, I think I would, it would've intimidated the heck out of me.

Shahida Alvarado 22:21

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 22:22

that, you know, a lot of writers, even if they write their book, it's something like 3% of people that start will actually, like, complete the writing project. But there's even a smaller percentage that actually go on to publish it,

Shahida Alvarado 22:36

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth Wilson 22:36

there's that piece of publishing that's so intimidating for everyone

Shahida Alvarado 22:41

I know. It's like I, I ask myself all the time. Yesterday, I was working with my illustrator, sending my, my notes and going through the changes, and I was like,"Why am I doing this? Why? Why did I decide to go down this path?" Um, but the story is so meaningful to me. I feel it needs to be out there. But in order for it to be out there, I have to go through this process, and it's not easy. Some days you feel like,"Is this even going to..." When it's done, especially with self-publishing, it's so hard because you have to navigate so many professions as an author. You now have to become the editor, the creative director. You have to, uh, look at it- Professionally, you basically have to do what a lot of major publications do. Uh, and you've gotta also incorporate a lot of research. And so it's, it's just some days you just... I'm like,"Why am I doing this?" But then I tell myself, like,"It's okay. It's okay. Even if it's not going to be perfect, it's okay. At least I'm, I'm doing it. And when it's done, h- I'm gonna be happy with it, hopefully."

Elizabeth Wilson 24:11

Yeah. I wonder if you'd be willing to share a little bit about what that publication process looked like for you, the, the route that you took to ultimately decide to self-publish, what you tried and, and w- why you made the decisions along that path that you did.

Shahida Alvarado 24:29

So I initially, just like everybody else, I sent my manuscript to different editors, to different publications, and I did get an, uh, a hybrid offer for my children's book. I looked at it, and, um, it requested a lot of money for me, from me because it wasn't a, just a traditional, um, publication. And I sat there thinking,"Am I going to, to fork out all this money? And what kind of questions should I ask in, before making a decision?" So I contacted them and said,"Okay, how long is it going to take for my book to be published?" The other question I wanted to know was, will I be involved in the creative process? Because at that point I didn't know what my character was going... I had a character bible. Before going into this, I did a lot of research on children's books, so I already had my character bible. I knew what my character's going to look like, but I didn't know the final product, what that would look like. So they, they answered the questions. They told me it could take up to two years, and I would have very little say in the creative process because they have their own illustration, um, department. And so that was sort of my deciding factor. And so it went from not thinking about the money anymore, but the, the space that I wanted to find myself in this process. And to me, it was very important that I wanted to, to be part of this character that I'm bringing into the world. I didn't want some stranger to work on it, and I didn't know what it was gonna look like. That, to me, just took a lot of the value and meaning out of this- Writing part of it all, and this is where I stand as an author. So I decided not to go with the, the, the, the hybrid offer. But then I was like,"If this is what's coming to me now in an email, obviously it's gonna be like this with even traditional publishers." And it, it would be great for one of these big publications to have signed me up. I, I would, I would be working with a team, and I wouldn't be questioning,"Why am I doing this?"'Cause they'd make it easy. But I decided, like everything else, I wanted to, to own this process. I want to, to be the one driving the, the, the vehicle. I didn't wanna feel like the passenger because I felt like, again, if they, if they can do it, why can't I do it? It's gonna be hard, but anything in life that you choose to do becomes a educational experience. It becomes a learning experience, and the more often you do something, the more experienced you become. I could probably conduct a workshop on how to create your own imprint and how to, um, find an illustrator because now, a year ago, I had no clue about anything, but now I'm experienced. So I decided to have my own imprint. It was very important to me. When you, um, start After you've written and you have your manuscript, a lot of, uh, self-published writers choose to go via, um, Amazon. But the problem with Amazon is they'll give you the ISBN, and they own the rights to the way your book gets distributed,

Elizabeth Wilson 28:36

Mm-hmm. And marketed and priced and all

Shahida Alvarado 28:38

And a lot of new writers, they don't know this. And of course, we always want to go the route where we don't have to go pay for something. So if they're gonna give you the ISBN, you're gonna go with it. So I, I was like,"Okay, as part of my research, how does the final product look?" And there's an ISBN that comes with the book, but who owns that ISBN? And I wanted to own my ISBN, so I decided for tax purposes, and also because this is not my first publication, this is definitely a long career. It's something that I feel like I'm investing. And so I did my homework. I created my own imprint, which is Amethyst Horizon Publishing. I got it registered in the US because that's where my books are being, um, produced, and also because the US is h-home to me, so it just makes more sense for me to-- And my, um, you know, Elizabeth, we, we get taxed on the books. So, I registered it. I went via IngramSpark, and I bought my ISBNs on Booka. And so everything about my book or my books or future books belong to me, and I feel like I'm able to use my imprint not only to market my book but also to market my character and anything that goes into it. Because it's sort of like I'm building a house, but in order to build it, I have to make sure there's a strong foundation. And I believe that having your own imprint and knowing your rights as an author really makes things a little bit easier as time goes on.

Elizabeth Wilson 30:42

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I ended up, um... I didn't try much as far as, like, hybrid publishing or anything like that. At some point during my writing process, I had met with an agent and did a pitch, and I remember this agent telling me that, you know, book wasn't marketable in the sense that I was speaking on a, on a topic of loneliness that was Related to a lot of people's experience. And what the traditional publishers want for marketing purposes is to figure out how to set you apart from everyone else and how to promote your book in some kind of special, significant, singular way. But it was interesting because for me, hearing her say that to me, what I instantly thought was,"Yes, that's what makes me confident that my book will reach readers who resonate with the conversations I'm having, with the different steps in life that I've had to walk through, the journey I've gone through in one or another," and that's what makes me confident that I can

Shahida Alvarado 32:02

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 32:24

an imprint, Whispered Wisdom Press, because I'm wild and crazy, I also have this beautiful vision that, you know, maybe five years down the road, I'm not the only author I'm publishing under

Shahida Alvarado 32:39

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth Wilson 32:40

This press, you know? I, I would love to to learn from my own publishing experience and, and dig into that aspect more, and eventually publish other women's memoirs and personal narrative work under that imprint as well, and be that support for someone else that, you know, I needed as a, a first-time publishing author. And so it's, it's kind of cool how it, one... You walk through one door and then it just leads to another one

Shahida Alvarado 33:19

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 33:20

you to step into it and, and as you said, you, you're gaining experience all along the way you become sort of a mini expert in these various things. And not that you know every, you know, facet of the publishing process or every variation, but learned your

Shahida Alvarado 33:38

Definitely.

Elizabeth Wilson 33:57

Um,

Shahida Alvarado 33:59

I think also

Elizabeth Wilson 33:59

it's...

Shahida Alvarado 34:00

like-- Oh, sorry. I was...

Elizabeth Wilson 34:02

say, it's interesting that we've had, like, such a similar experience with that and I, I know there are other writers out there that have gone through these same thought processes, especially what you reflected with-

Shahida Alvarado 34:13

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 34:13

Like, ha-ha-having to make that choice of giving up creative control over something that we've poured our hearts and souls into. of the way I view success of my book, there was no way I was gonna be able to hand over, you know, the way that it, it read or the way that it looked or the, you know, any of that to someone else to decide because, uh, I needed it to feel and look a certain way.

Shahida Alvarado 34:38

I was gonna add, I think, you know, we, we all want some sort of validation. When you write a story or when you have this creative process that you're going through, it is nice to get that validation from a big publication because they, they experienced and there's a history of, uh, them publishing bestsellers. So for you to be on that list or in that process or on the same journey as someone that-- a book where you've read or an author that you know, it, it's nice. It's a nice feeling. We all want that. Who doesn't? But at the end of the day, you have to Come back to yourself and say,"Is that important? Is that why I'm writing so that I can say this publication has signed me up? Is that the reason that the story is coming into the world because I simply want to be validated by some publication?" And for me, I feel like, no, that's not why I write. That's not why I want to share the-- my stories. I don't need that validation. What I need is to validate myself and to say that what I'm doing has meaning, it has purpose, and it will find its place wherever it's meant to be. That's, that's what I, I think.

Elizabeth Wilson 36:11

Oh, that's such a beautiful reflection to close on today. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your poem with us and a little bit about your journey. Um, we will make sure that all of your social media stuff is in the show notes if

Shahida Alvarado 36:25

course.

Elizabeth Wilson 36:26

would love to connect with you. Um, certainly as you start to maybe put out some of that information about how to find illustrators, how to do all the, these

Shahida Alvarado 36:35

Yeah.

Elizabeth Wilson 36:36

the publication process. So, thank you so much for being here with me

Shahida Alvarado 36:39

Thank you, Elizabeth. You know, your platform is, is something that I, I, I feel like the energy that you put out into the universe, you receive it, and I really wanted to connect with the community and also just find my own space in a community, and I feel like that's what your podcast does. It really allows us to come together in, in a, in a vulnerable, authentic way and, and to, to draw from each other's strengths because we all, we all have our own fears and tears, you know. I-- we sit here, and we make it seem like, oh, this happened. You-- like you said, you, you're gonna be publishing soon, which is, like, an amazing accomplishment for you and-- but there's a backstory,

Elizabeth Wilson 37:36

Mm-hmm.

Shahida Alvarado 37:37

there, and that backstory is what allows you to sit there and smile today and to feel proud of yourself. But that backstory, it, it bends us. It really-- it can break our spirit sometimes because it's so hard to just close shop and say,"I'm done." But to keep going is, is really phenomenal. And just to part with you, so many accomplished authors and writers started some way.

Elizabeth Wilson 38:12

Mm-hmm.

Shahida Alvarado 38:12

And so that's where we have to draw inspiration. If they started somewhere and they are where they are now, it's possible for us too. So we have to look at history so that our futures can, can feel brighter.

Elizabeth Wilson 38:31

Absolutely. All right. Well,

Shahida Alvarado 38:33

Yeah. Thank you.

Elizabeth Wilson 38:35

listeners, writers, for being here with us, and we'll hope you check out Shahida, and I hope you also look into my upcoming book,"Lonely Girl," because I do include the backstory about the memoir writing process as a subplot. So if you're curious about what that has looked like, that's a p- a through line throughout the book as well. So,

Shahida Alvarado 38:56

Congratulations. Thank you, everyone. Good luck. Bye.

Elizabeth Wilson 39:00

Bye.