EP. 18 - "I Don’t Know How to Pray”… Now What?

This episode of Better Together, Joe Marie and Rachel explore the nature of prayer, especially for new believers or those uncertain about how to pray.  

If you’ve ever felt stuck, awkward, or unsure what to say when you pray, you’re not alone. This episode breaks down how to start praying in a real, simple way. No perfect words, no pressure—just honesty before God.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

My name is Joe Free. I'm pretty sure. And we are so glad that you have joined us.

Leslie 0:30

Welcome, ladies. We're back. Hi. I'm Rachel. And I'm Joe Marie. And we're here for another episode of Better Together. And today we're gonna, we're so excited because we are taking a break. We know that we said we were going to um continue our conversation with Leslie on the power of prayer in her life, but we wanted to take a break and talk about uh what does prayer look like? What if you don't even know how to pray, but you want to pray? Or if you don't have the words um because of everything you're going through, like what does the Bible say about that? What does that look like in your life? What has that meant in our lives and what have we done? So we wanted to take a break and um we are gonna come back with Leslie. Next episode. Next episode. Um, so we just wanted to share from our hearts and from God's word what that looks like.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Amen. So glad to have all of you guys here. So glad. And you notice we're on a couch today, a different scenery. We found a couch and we're just we're just gonna sit on it today. Next time we're gonna be in pajamas in the couch. Yeah, so let's dive in about the power of prayer. Um, a lot of us haven't been taught about how to pray, what to say. Some some of us feel awkward. Right. We're like, does it have to be this like long fancy prayer? Yeah. Sometimes I I when I was, especially when I was a new believer, and I would hear the women at church praying, and I'm like, I can't pray like that. Yeah. And then I'm like, I I don't even know that they're so like eloquent and it's always fluid, like they don't pause and it's always powerful. And I and I like I get goosebumps when they pray, and I'm like, God, you know, when I pray, when I I'm like, it's just me. Yeah. And you know what? I think that's just as powerful. When you're like, when you're by yourself and you're just in the presence of your father, and you're just like, God, it's just me. It's just me, Joe Marie. It's just you uh insert your name, and I just want to talk to you. Yeah, I just want to share my heart. I think people don't realize that's powerful. Yes, I think that's we overthink it.

Leslie 2:36

Yes, right? It's of course simple women. We're women, that's what we do. We're thinking too much, and we're overthinking even prayer, and people just will tell you, oh, pray about it, pray about it, and you're just like, but I don't even know what to say. And think about it when you have the best conversations with your best friend or someone you love, and it's just a pure, honest conversation, and how much that means to you, and that's what God wants. And in that conversation, you're talking, but you're also listening, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:07

And though that's just what it is, and in addition to that, too, I think just presence. Because sometimes, like um, I know um sometimes when I'm going through something, yes, I want someone to come, like those that are close to me, and I want them to come pray with me and you know, give me something encouraging, but I think sometimes too, them just sitting with me, like you know, just sitting, um, watching a movie, just being next to me, um, or just like holding my hand, or we're just you know, looking out and like looking over at the porch or sitting on the porch and just looking out, looking at the sunset or something. Just someone's just there. And I think that's like that's the same thing with the Lord. Like He just wants us to sit in His presence. Yeah. And I think that's powerful too. No words even have to be said.

Leslie 3:59

And what about like so if you're a new believer, right? What would you say to that new believer that says, I don't I don't even know how to pray? Like, how do I start? What would you say to that person?

SPEAKER_01 4:11

You know, honestly, I would just say just start speaking from your heart as if you're talking to like your best friend. Yeah. And you know, um, there's so many instances in the Bible that you can look at as a guide.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Um, you know, Jesus definitely um, you know, he said, if you want to pray, this is how you pray, and he gave us the the Our Father prayer, um, which is like a guide of like telling us, like, okay, you know, you like you acknowledge God, you give him praise, you give him thanks, and then like, you know, you don't have to say that word for word, but you can start with that. You can start with specific other uh other specific verses, like yours, your favorite is Psalm 91. You can speak uh like if you feel uncomfortable and you're like, actually, I don't know what to say, you know. Choose a verse that um many people reflect on as prayer. Right. You know, Psalm 91 is a big one for them.

Leslie 5:05

And that's a big one for me. And I am big on, you know, the this this book is life, right? And it was written for you and for me. So it's living and it's it was meant to, when we don't have the words, that's what we need to hear, and sometimes that's what we need to say. Even Jesus, right? He used scripture against the enemy. So I know a lot of times I have used Psalm 91, and when I feel like there is so much coming against me from all sides, and I don't even know what to say or how to fight back. And so I use Psalm 91, and um, so you see, I'm using my phone, she has her Bible, and I also have my phone, so that's okay. You want me to read a part of it? Yes, and so what I always do is um, you know, I make it personal. So I replace, I put my name in it. So the ending of Psalm 91, starting in verse 14, I say, because Rachel loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue her, I will protect her, for she acknowledges my name. She will call on me and I will answer her. I I will be with her in trouble, I will deliver her and honor her with long life. I will satisfy her and show her my salvation. And that gives me such peace when I pray that and say that over myself. And then automatically it puts me in a in a heart of gratefulness, and I'm like, thank you, Lord. Thank you that you protect me. Thank you, because I acknowledge you. You say you're gonna rescue me from everything that I'm in the middle of, and it also gives me peace in my heart, and it also like fights back the enemy that is surrounding me.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

I think it helps to realign us back back to God. Yeah, because everything is um always coming at us, like there's so many distractions, so many worries, so many things, the news, whatever, um, so many things going on in our lives that when we are sitting there and we are reading scripture and we're really and we're speaking it out loud, it kind of quiets everything else, yeah, and helps to realign us with God and helps us to focus on God. So I love that idea of reading scripture um over ourselves. Amen. Yeah. Speaking it out loud um really helps the enemy to flee. That's right. The enemy has to flee. Yeah, so you know, um, I I I say to somebody who feels uncomfortable in praying, just start. Yes. Just start. It doesn't have to be a long prayer, it doesn't have to be anything fancy. You know, I think it's good to just say, hey God, it's me. You know, give um a prayer of thanks. You know, just I praise you for who you are, I thank you for who you are in my life, and just start talking about your day, you know, what's bothering you, you know.

Leslie 8:16

Um, and don't compare how you pray to the way somebody else prays, you know, like you mentioned when you're a new believer and you hear those pray people praying and they have the long prayers and they're eloquent with words and they're reciting scripture and you just don't know it yet, and that's fine. It doesn't make your prayer any less powerful. Yeah, exactly. You're if you're speaking from your heart, you're praying from your heart, it's just as powerful. Right. There's no um, you know, and Jesus speaks to that in the He says he's not impressed. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

That that you that you have, what is it called? Lofty prayers, lofty prayers, that's right. Um not that like you shouldn't do that. If that's how you pray, go ahead. That's great. But I don't I think what he was saying is he's more concerned about the heart. Yeah. If you're praying to, you know, because you think you want to impress God with your words and like how great you say it, or you want to impress other people, I mean, all you're gonna do is impress other people. Right. And you're and you haven't, you know, um your words are empty. Pretty much. And God's gonna look at you and be like, just be real with me. Yeah. You know, I think God just I think that's the bottom line. God's like, can you just be real? You know like I see it all anyway. Like I already know. Yeah, like what are you doing? Like, what are you what what are we doing here? Yeah. So yeah, just know that he loves you so much. Yes. And he just wants to hear from you. He just wants you to have that connection with him. He desires that you um sit in his presence and just conversate with him. And then it's also a time to just sit and be and just say, you know what, God, what is it that you know that you want to share with me? What is it that you want to speak to of about my situation? It's just it's important to just sit and just see what God says to you. Amen.

Leslie 10:14

And if you are so broken and you're really like, I feel like I'm on the end of my rope. I don't even know. All I could do is cry, then cry. Cry out to the Lord. That's what Hannah did. She, you know, she she was going through hard times, she was barren, and she was being mocked, and she was begging the Lord really, like, for for it to be open up her womb. That's what she wanted. And she, it it seems like she was at the point that all all she could do was cry. But she went to the temple and she cried, and she didn't say any words out loud, the the Bible says. It says she was mouthing it to the point that the priest thought she was drunk. But if that's all you have, that's what you have, and that's what God wants, right? All you have, and that's it's just the cry of your heart, and God blessed her after that. Yeah, you know, and our heart posture. Yeah, you know, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

It's our heart posture. Like, are we praying surrendered? Yeah, I mean, it doesn't matter how we look, but are we approaching God in a sense of humility and in a sense of like a surrendered heart and saying, God, you already know sometimes here it is. I remember there was a time in my life where I was so broken, and you know, I just I just heard some devastating news, and I was so heartbroken, and I went to God, I closed the door, and it was dark in my room, and I literally just got on my knees. And I normally, for me personally, I normally don't get on my knees to pray. Usually how I do it is like I'm sitting um my hands folded or my head bowed or somewhere. Um, but this one time, there are a few times in my life where I actually just fell on my knees. So I kind of understand the the kind of desperation that Hannah felt because I was I felt so it was one of the most broken times in my life, and I got on my knees and I wanted to pray. Like I wanted to pray, like I wanted to say, God just help me. Like I'm my heart is broken into pieces right now, but I couldn't get the words out. But big glops of tears just falling to the floor, and that was like I was like, um, I never experienced that before that I couldn't get the words out because I was so upset, I was so brokenhearted, and the big glops of tears were falling, and I just like I just stayed there, knelt there, and I just you know, in my mind, I just kept calling out to Jesus, like Jesus help me, Jesus, help me in my mind because I couldn't say it. And at that moment, I actually felt this like like peace. I can't explain it. You can only ever explain the the peace that surpasses understanding, right? It really just it just happens and you finally get it. You know what I mean? I don't think like you can talk tell somebody hey, God gives you a peace that surpasses understanding, and they're like, okay, okay, but when you feel it, that was the first time I actually life changing. That was the first time I felt it. And I was just like, wow. Like I actually stopped crying because I felt this overwhelming peace. And God met me. I felt like God met me where I was. And that's what he says, right? He says, draw near to me and I will draw near to you. So in those moments where you all you can give is tears, God already knows your heart. God already knows what's you know, your burdens, your worries, your concerns, everything, anything that's you know breaking your heart. He already knows. So the fact that you have that that heart posture where you just surrender to him, he uh will meet you exactly where you're at. And you will feel the presence of God like you've never felt before. So I want to encourage you, don't run away. No, don't run away, don't feel ashamed that you don't have the words right. Your father in heaven loves you and he cares for you, and he's carrying you at that moment. You just don't see it. Right.

Leslie 14:27

He's there. And sometimes he's just waiting for you to surrender. And that's and that's what it is, just waiting for that surrender to let go of what it is that is weighing weighing on you, and to really just say, I don't know, I don't have the answers, I know that I can't do this on my own. And Lord, just have your way with it. And be you know, spend that time. And he like I said, praying is is listening to. And sometimes it's just shedding those tears and being silent and waiting to hear from the Lord and or waiting to feel that peace. And the peace automatically gives you joy when you didn't think you would feel joy. Yeah, right, because it's it's kind of like I've I've had that come to me before where I thought something was so terrible and I prayed and I felt so at peace with everything, and I was like, I don't know why. Right, but I'm I'm okay. I'm I feel at peace with everything. It automatically makes you feel joyful because you're experiencing this thing that you cannot explain in words.

SPEAKER_01 15:43

Because it says actually in the word that that Jesus is peace. That he not only gives peace, I forget where it's from, I think it's somewhere in Ephesians, but um but but that basically he doesn't just give peace, he's not just a peacemaker, he is in himself a peace. Yes. So when you are in his presence, you are in peace.

Leslie 16:09

That would be beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Yes.

Leslie 16:11

Hello. Hello, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

That is beautiful. That's wonderful. So what about like um prayer and um when you're praying for others? Right? Like I feel like sometimes um I remember when my kids were growing up, I got convicted because I was like, I feel like I'm teaching my kids like very like superficial prayers. Like, okay, okay, pray, let's pray for the food, and oh God, um bless our travels, oh God, like you know, like what like I think how do you develop like a prayer life? How would you tell somebody who's like, yeah, uh, you know, I hear about having a prayer life, I hear all that. How do we instill that in our kids? How do we instill that in ourselves? You know, how do we disciple um new believers um in and really like the different ways to pray?

Leslie 17:15

That's such a huge question, but the first thing is like you can't give what you don't have. So you you need to develop that prayer life for yourself. And I think it's important to understand that when you wake up in the morning, you know, you need to start your day with God. It's so important because you wouldn't even have another day if it wasn't for him. And when you understand, like, okay, I I know that he makes a way for me, he goes before me. And so, you know, I want to pray. And I think as I developed more of a prayer life, then I understood that every day for my family, I I am going to war for them by praying. Right. Because that's what you're when you pray, you're going against the the it's spiritual warfare. Absolutely and there are things happening in the heavenly places that you can't see. And I don't walk in fear, I walk in confidence because I know that I've come I've talked to my God and He is battling for me. But I can't just pray for myself. Now I got to do the same thing for my family and not to take advantage, the same things that every day I'm confronted with, my family's getting confronted with. My kids are getting confronted with temptations. My kids are um getting, you know, smacked in the face with all the social media garbage and everything that is going on in this world, and they have anxieties and fears. So I can't take for granted that um, you know, that, oh, I prayed last week. You know, no, that has to be a daily thing. There's a new battle going on every day. So I think the first thing is making sure you develop your own prayer life, right? Whatever that looks like. And like we said, even if it's short, long, whatever it is, if it's your heart posture is what matters. And it's consistent. And it's consistent. Yeah. And so you can't teach something you don't have yourself. Right. And your kids, if you want to talk about teaching it to your kids, your kids, they know fake. For sure. So you gotta be authentic with it. Yeah. You they're they're gonna say, oh, you know, things are hard, so now mom's gonna pray, you know. Like, no, it should be like, no, mom, like she counts on her prayers. Right. Mom is always praying for me. Like, even if they're not walking with the Lord, right, that they know, oh, my mom's praying for me.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

And you know, and our prayers have power, they have power.

Leslie 20:03

So that is how, first of all, you just have to develop it for yourself. Make sure that your family is seeing it. Like, yes, people have prayer closets or they have private times of prayer, but make sure that they know, don't hide it from your own family because they will know because they see you doing it. Right, they see you counting on it, they see you making it a priority, and that is teaching them without even saying it to them. Right, but then also when things get hard for them, just say, Hey, can I yeah, let's pray. Let's pray. Like I'm gonna pray, can I pray with you? Most who's gonna say no to that? You know, most of the time I would people always say yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Right.

Leslie 20:46

Even people who don't have no faith, right? Right, they've never said no. They'll say, Yeah, pray for me. Yeah, like yeah. So, you know, I think just don't, and it's getting out of that comfort zone, right? Because that first time you do it, you're like, no, okay, oh geez, okay, you know, and then you ask them and they do it, and don't worry about being eloquent with words. Moses was worried about being eloquent with words, and God used them in a mighty way. Just pray for whatever the need is. God wants your heart, a real conversation. He doesn't want fake. Yeah. So I think those are just ways that speaks to other other people and and being consistent.

SPEAKER_01 21:29

I think that when you feel the need to worry or you start feeling anxious, that's a that's a good sign to be like, hey, like, maybe I should pray right now. Yeah. And then when you're teaching your family that, like, hey, every time something's wrong, something like is unsure, worried about something, let's go pray. Yeah. Like it it builds like some kind of like spiritual muscle memory for your kids as they're growing up, and it'll be like, Oh, okay, like mom would pray at this moment. Yeah, or aunt, my aunt, my grandma. Whoever, um, my mentor, she would be praying for me at this moment. So maybe I should pray. Like they're not gonna forget that. So creating that habit in yourself first, yeah, right, and then implementing it in the daily life of your family, I think is huge. It is huge. And don't, you know, I think we we try to give like safe prayers. We try to pray safe prayers all the time because we oh God, like bless my children, like keep them safe, but like be bold and be bold in your prayer, like God, like open up their eyes, like you know, um, Lord, may they may they have like an encounter with you, may their lives never be the same, may they walk boldly with you forever, like even bolder than that. Because um, I want to read to you from Ephesians chapter three, this prayer that Paul prayed for the Ephesians. I was like, I want to memorize this prayer because I want to pray this over my family, my loved ones, my friends, because it's so powerful. If you look at Ephesians 3, um verse 16, it says, This is Paul saying, I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being. So you're praying for them that that they'll be strengthened so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. You're praying, like, God, would you please like dwell in my family members' hearts? And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints to grasp how wide and how long and high and deep is the love of Christ. Like, Lord, would you just bless my family, that they would grasp how much you love them. How like like this is such a beautiful prayer to pray with your family. And to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that they would be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Like, imagine praying that prayer that my children, my husband, my friends and family would be filled to the full, to the measure of all the fullness of God. And this one is the kicker right here, verse 20. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us. To him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. To him, to God, who can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. So just know that what you think is the best prayer or the best stretch of your imagination, God can do even much more than that. So, like, don't be afraid to pray those bold prayers like no, oh, I don't know if that can ever happen. Not that God is is is a genie in a bottle. This is not what we're trying to say. No. You want to pray his will. But yes, we want to pray that his will be done. But pray, like, you know, for those people that like for your family members that are far from Christ, don't be like, oh God, maybe they'll um we pray that they'll come, they'll they'll take my invitation to come to church soon. Be like, pray the book prayer, God, I pray that they would have an encounter with you, that you would use them mightily to preach the gospel throughout the whole nation. Like, you know what I mean? Like, just just pray those prayers out loud and just say, God, let you know, let your will be done. But like, pray for them that they would be filled with with God, that their eyes would be able to see and grasp um to the best of our ability that that God loves them so much.

Leslie 25:50

Like you have people suffering with addictions. You like God, you know, make it so disgusting to them, bring them to the bottom of the pit that they have no place else to go. Like, uh, you know, even with my own children, I'm like, Lord, if if take the people out of their life, rip them out of their life that don't belong there, that aren't bringing them closer to you or serving them well, Lord, just rip them out. It's gonna hurt, but rip them out. You're like, I I'm so specific, you know, when I know like if they're applying for jobs, I'm like, Lord, illuminate their paperwork. Like, yeah, you know, I'm I'm so specific with whatever it is. And this prayer that you just read, I've read this over, I've prayed this over my kids, and I put their names in it. So, like, I, you know, I would say, so that Christ made well, and in, and I put in like Rebecca, Andrew, and Alyssa, I you know, I put their names in it because I just always love to make the Bible personal. So beautiful, yeah. Um, so I pray that.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

Pray that over your kids, read all, read it over and and in and put people's names in there.

Leslie 26:56

Yes, put your name, put people's names. This is the living word of God, and it was written for you, for me, for you, and that's what it's here for.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

And also to just also um in your prayers to give thanks to God. Amen. Just yes, just to thank him. There's always something to be thankful for. Um, and I think when we also approach prayer that way, um, recognizing who God is in our lives and just thanking him for whatever it is. The fact that you're alive and breathing and able to pray, that alone is a reasonable thing. If everything else is like breaking um around you and you feel like nothing is working, you're breathing. That's right. You're breathing. You're able to think, you're conscious. That's something to thank God about. Because honestly, there's a lot of people out there that you know are in a coma or you know, that's right. Um, they don't have that ability anymore, but you do. You have that ability to spend time with the creator of the universe, the one who loves you so much that his plan for humanity was that we would be restored to him because he loves us that much. His love is so vast for you. I we'll we'll never really understand truly how much he loves us. But we can see that through the power of Jesus Christ, through his death on the cross. But you know, I I think um knowing and and really acknowledging the love of God for for us, for you, puts you in a position to just say, thank you, God, for loving me so much. Even when everything is going wrong, thank you, God, for loving me so much. A love we don't deserve really unconditionally, that he loved us where we were at, where he found us, right? Right, right, right. Um and the fact that he loves us so much that he transforms us, that we are his masterpiece, his workmanship, and that he you know has prepared works for us to do way before we were even born. He has a plan for your life. So don't be afraid to spend the time with your father in heaven and talk to him.

Leslie 29:20

So amazing that we get to we get to have a conversation with the creator of the universe. Amen. That's beautiful. It is so since this is a podcast about prayer, yeah. Do you want to pray us out? Yeah, let's pray.

unknown 29:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

You know what? I'm gonna pray and I'm gonna pray this prayer over you guys. Um and just there's so many instances of um different ways that people prayed throughout the Bible. So I encourage you guys to like look it up and and read it over. But I'm actually gonna go back and read, um, read over Ephesians 1 to you guys. But let's pray. Father God, thank you so much for this opportunity, Lord, to talk about developing a deep prayer life, Lord God. Um, a prayer life where we consistently seek your face and your presence, Lord, in our lives. Lord, that we would not, that prayer would not be like a thing that we do at the end if we have time, but that prayer would be intentional in our lives, that we would take the time to intentionally spend time with you, even if there's nothing to like no words coming out of our mouths, Lord God, but just to sit in your presence, to sit in your peace, Lord God. We thank you for the opportunity that you desire this relationship with us, Lord. And I pray for each and every single woman that's listening to this podcast right now, Lord God, that they would develop this deep desire to just spend time with you every each and every single day, and to hear from you, Lord, to to speak your word over their lives, Lord God, and and experience your love, Lord God, and feel your love, your your unending, deep, high, wide love, Lord God. And I pray this prayer over them that's read in Ephesians chapter 1. I pray, I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. I also pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him before the dead and seated him at the right hand in the heavenly realms. So, church, I just you know read the word, man. That's that's beautiful, that's powerful. And just remember that he is peace. Yes, he is peace. So when you reach out to him, you're gonna feel that peace.

Leslie 32:21

Yes, you will.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

So thank you guys so much for for joining us today. Yeah. I know we took a little pivot, um, but we we felt that it was good to just, hey, let's go back and just talk about um how we develop a prayer life, what what prayer looks like for a believer. And not every there's no cookie-cutter thing, right? Because prayer is personal. Prayer is your own thing, and and you will grow and you will mature in that. Um, but next week we are going to go back and talk with our friend Leslie and and and discover how she was able to develop a deep prayer life after you know uh overcoming all that she has gone through in her life, overcoming all that darkness, and how Jesus was able to transform her and allow her to get to to know him on such a deeper level that now she is a prayer warrior for so many people. So we encourage you guys to check out our next episode. Please share this with somebody that you think that it can bless, and we'll see you guys next time. Bye.