Season One Finale

In this final episode of Season One, The Non Drinking Buddies talk about what they learned, how having a support network is vital for Rebekka's sobriety and how Anne is embracing that she's a total weirdo.

Mocktail Recipe: Season One Ritual

1.5 oz of Ritual Alcohol Removed Tequila
3/4 oz lime juice
1/2 oz agave or honey

Shake with ice and then squeeze in a big slice of orange  to finish

Instagram: @nondrinkingbuddies
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0_Z_CJZ3USL7EK6pQ09huQ

Transcript

Rebekka [00:00:00]:
Wear a crop top. Show off the scar. And my scar's not that t like a crop top.

Anne [00:00:05]:
Can you. Do you know where they do the incisions?

Rebekka [00:00:07]:
Okay. Wear low cut jeans.

Anne [00:00:10]:
Oh, no.

Rebekka [00:00:10]:
Extremely low cut.

Anne [00:00:11]:
Oh, my God. My muffin top will be like, no.

Rebekka [00:00:13]:
Wear low cut jeans that, like, dip. Like, dip. Come on and jump on a trampoline.

Anne [00:00:18]:
Christina Aguilera survive her dirty era.

Rebekka [00:00:22]:
Christina Aguilera's dirty outfit and jump on the trampoline. And then you'll have a great time at any party. Hi. Welcome to non drinking buddies.

Anne [00:00:43]:
I'm Ann Gregory.

Rebekka [00:00:44]:
And I'm Rebecca Johnson. And this is the podcast where we talk to teetotal and guests about how they find the fun in a booze free life.

Anne [00:00:50]:
Yes, we do. And today we're talking to each other again.

Rebekka [00:00:54]:
Yes. Because this is actually the season finale and our 20th episode.

Anne [00:00:59]:
What?

Rebekka [00:01:00]:
Yes.

Anne [00:01:00]:
We're 20 years old.

Rebekka [00:01:03]:
I added them up one by one and came to 20.

Anne [00:01:08]:
They also list them, so you could have just seen that the last one was 19. That's okay.

Rebekka [00:01:12]:
You know what? I like to do things the old fashioned way. Yeah. Abacus.

Anne [00:01:17]:
Ironically, I think our episodes are almost able to drink.

Rebekka [00:01:20]:
Oh, yeah.

Anne [00:01:21]:
Yeah. But we're not able to drink.

Rebekka [00:01:23]:
No, we are not.

Anne [00:01:24]:
And that's why we have this podcast.

Rebekka [00:01:25]:
True.

Anne [00:01:27]:
How's it been going, Rebecca?

Rebekka [00:01:29]:
It's been going pretty well. I was reflecting on kind of this season one journey and thinking about. We recorded the first episode, actually, in October, so we put it out in January. So it's been, what, like, eight months, sort of, since we recorded the first episode. And I feel like, sobriety wise, I'm in, like, such a different space, like, headspace.

Anne [00:01:57]:
Yes.

Rebekka [00:01:59]:
After doing all these episodes and hearing from all these different people how and why they quit and how much better their lives are. And it's just been really, I don't know, really informative and also really rewarding, don't you think?

Anne [00:02:18]:
Completely. It has been. It's also, like, it's been interesting in terms of our own sobriety as we've talked, like, you know, and you've spoken to this, like, you've gone to more meetings. I've discovered things about myself and what I need to work on, and I don't know, necessarily if we would have done that without the podcast.

Rebekka [00:02:44]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:02:45]:
Who knows?

Rebekka [00:02:45]:
I don't know. I mean, yeah, I think about, like, sometimes I think about, like, what had happened, what would have happened if we didn't quit at the same time.

Anne [00:02:56]:
Yeah, that was weird.

Rebekka [00:02:58]:
Would I have gone back.

Anne [00:03:00]:
Oh, I 100% would have gone back.

Rebekka [00:03:02]:
Yeah. I think we, like, held each other accountable in a way that was not, like, harshly, you know, it wasn't like, you better not. It was more just like, well, you.

Anne [00:03:13]:
Were really kind to me, but I was a real bitch to Rebecca. I would come over and I would threaten her physically and don't do that to other people. But it really worked with Rebecca.

Rebekka [00:03:22]:
It worked.

Anne [00:03:22]:
Yeah, no, I didn't do that.

Rebekka [00:03:26]:
Yeah, no, I think we, like, held each other accountable. And then also doing the podcast actually really introduced me to the program and, like, hearing about how people recovered in that way. I think listening to other people talk about how and why they needed to have a community, like a sober community, it made me realize, like, that's what I was missing, like, in that just having one other person wasn't enough for all of my sobriety community. And so, yeah, like, that was. That was really great. Like, to be able to hear about all that and specifically, like, John Bowie was like, go to a meeting. Just go. And I was like, you're right.

Anne [00:04:11]:
Yeah, yeah.

Rebekka [00:04:12]:
And that was really, really helpful. And I don't think. I don't know what would have happened.

Anne [00:04:16]:
I mean, and without going into details, like, you had different experiences. Experiences with that, which I think speaks to one meeting isn't going to speak to all of the meetings. So if you're needing help, it's free, it's a resource out there, and you can try different meetings.

Rebekka [00:04:35]:
Yeah, that's true. Is that because one of the things in AA is that each meeting is sort of independent of another. Like, they're all. There's certain things, things that everyone has to do, but when you go, it's just that group of people and their collective consciousness that makes it what it is. So if you go to a meeting and you're like, these are not my people, that doesn't mean the whole thing is not yours or that you won't fit in. You could just go to several different ones until you're like, oh, now I realize now I connect with these types of people. And then actually, that has opened me up to now be more open to the first meetings I went to. So, like, now that I sort of judgmental about those.

Rebekka [00:05:21]:
Yeah. And I'm less scared, I think of maybe some of what certain people were saying, like. Cause some people come into the program already, kind of, like, believing in God and, like, having, like, a christian background and not rejecting that.

Anne [00:05:39]:
Yeah, that's a christian background. But you stepped away from that in adulthood. Yeah.

Rebekka [00:05:43]:
So then hearing that made me be like, I don't belong here because all these people wholeheartedly believe in that. And then now that you realize, you go to other meetings where it's like, you know, women in trans inclusive meetings and people who have all sorts of beliefs but still have this common, like, problem and then this common, like, solution. Now I can say, oh, I'm still taking what I want from it. And now I can go back to some of those other meetings and not be so intimidated by, you know, and judgmental of what I was seeing. And so it's great. It's really been helpful. Really opened my mind, and it's really been like, yeah. Just really what I needed.

Rebekka [00:06:33]:
I needed to be able to, like, have a bigger community and hear stories, like, every day, basically, of people and their addiction and where they're at now and how their lives are better. So it's kind of like our podcast, but then, like, you know, seven days a week.

Anne [00:06:53]:
So have you been going that frequently?

Rebekka [00:06:55]:
Yeah, I started going every day in February, and then there's occasions I don't go.

Anne [00:07:02]:
Are you hard on yourself when you don't go? Or, like, no, I'm a little.

Rebekka [00:07:06]:
It's not. I actually just like it better when I go.

Anne [00:07:09]:
Okay, got it.

Rebekka [00:07:10]:
So it, like, feels better to go. Like, on the days I don't get to go. It's not that I'm beating myself up that I'm not going, it's that I feel better when I do go.

Anne [00:07:20]:
Got it.

Rebekka [00:07:20]:
It's kind of, like, working out, I guess, like, you know, when you, like, get. When you're like, oh, I feel better when I go swimming. So I'm gonna go swimming. Like, so, yeah, I just feel better when I go. And so it's not as much about, like, having it on, like, a report card kind of thing where it doesn't feel like I'm, like, I need my attendance record. It's more just, like the day to day feelings.

Anne [00:07:46]:
Great. And are you still doing that, like, every day?

Rebekka [00:07:48]:
Almost every day.

Anne [00:07:49]:
Wow.

Rebekka [00:07:50]:
Okay, cool. So. And I'll zoom.

Anne [00:07:52]:
Okay, so I have.

Rebekka [00:07:54]:
Part of it is I have met people that I'm, like, friendly with. So then I have my Monday night meeting and a Tuesday night meeting, and then a Wednesday day meeting, and then Thursday's kind of, like, up in the air, and sometimes I don't go on Thursdays, but then, yeah, so it's like, I have my set things, and then Saturday and Sunday I have zooms. So I kind of. Now it's like, oh, well, then I'll see this person, or I'll see that person. And so it feels more like community in that way. And being a part of a community and different, I go all over the place, so it's not like going to the same. Some people who don't live in LA, there's not that many meetings, so they only have some people talk about if they're in a place that's just not as populated, they're like, it's the same five old men every day.

Anne [00:08:51]:
Do they find more of the community on Zoom? Can they join your team?

Rebekka [00:08:55]:
But, yeah, it's, like, frustrating, like, sometimes for people, because here we have meetings literally every hour of every day, and then if you don't want to go in person, you could go to millions of online meetings around the world. So it's pretty great in that way, especially. I'm really glad that it's a free thing.

Anne [00:09:17]:
Yeah, that's a great resource. That's, like, why, you know, it's not for me right now. And that's just we're different. And I get kind of addicted to routine, so for me, that kind of scares me. It was, like, the behavior of drinking, too. That was, like, more of the addictive thing, but. And I kind of get addicted to self help stuff, too.

Rebekka [00:09:41]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Anne [00:09:43]:
Just for me, personally, I'm not saying I'm not gonna do it ever, but I think it's a tool. And what makes it so cool and what keeps me really, really open minded to it and potentially doing it in the future is just that it is a free resource. How bad can it be if it's a free resource? That's great. It's great.

Rebekka [00:09:58]:
Yeah. And so how are you feeling? How are you doing?

Anne [00:10:01]:
I'm good. It's, you know, I, like, completely letting go and having fun is still. I still am, like, so much better at that. During the day, like, I went on a beautiful hike with my kids. We went 5 miles. I was so proud. It's amazing. And there's just so many places to hike in Los Angeles.

Anne [00:10:25]:
And we went to an arcade on Saturday night.

Rebekka [00:10:29]:
Oh, fun.

Anne [00:10:30]:
Pretty sure I got Covid. I'm just kidding. I'm, like, right next to Rebecca right now, and I'm, like, saying, I have to.

Rebekka [00:10:34]:
Do you feel sick?

Anne [00:10:35]:
No, not at all. But it was just one of those enclosed Vegas y spots where there's no windows, and you're like, what time of the day is it? And so many bright lights and whatever. And there was these claw machines that my kids became addicted.

Rebekka [00:10:50]:
Speaking of addiction, I was like, oh.

Anne [00:10:52]:
My God, they're gonna be gamblers. But, no, it was really fun. Still going out at night. Like, I went to a friend's comedy show last night, and that was really good. I'm getting better at it. Big parties. I don't know if I was ever good at it. And maybe that's okay.

Anne [00:11:11]:
Maybe we don't all have to be amazing at, like, being the bright light at the party. I mean, I like to go. Small groups are like, my jam.

Rebekka [00:11:20]:
Yeah. And it's kind of always been what you preferred, probably.

Anne [00:11:25]:
Yeah, 100%. Now I'm just more honest. I think that the not drinking just keeps me more honest. You're more honest about your feelings, and that's probably a good thing. Sometimes. It's tricky, though. Cause sometimes you wake up and you're like, oh, today I'm not feeling great.

Rebekka [00:11:42]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:11:42]:
And you're just like, okay, that's fine. That's. Everyone. Not everyone feels happy and great every single day.

Rebekka [00:11:48]:
Well, not drinking doesn't make our life perfect. It just. Yeah, it just takes a. Removes something that wasn't working right, so it removes a bad solution for our problems. So we have to find another solution to the problems.

Anne [00:12:01]:
That's right.

Rebekka [00:12:02]:
But also, I was thinking about it. Like, I think we'll get to a point where not drinking is just such a normal thing to us that we don't even clock it. Kind of, like, during the day. I think it doesn't matter because you wouldn't have ever drank before a hike. That wouldn't have been a normal thing for you to do. So it doesn't feel weird because you're like, oh, I'm just going on a hike. Whereas when we go to a party, we're still very aware that I am not drinking at this party. I will not be going up and getting a cocktail.

Rebekka [00:12:32]:
It's like, you're still having that, and.

Anne [00:12:34]:
Mine'S less than that. Mine's more like, everyone around me is drunk right now.

Rebekka [00:12:38]:
Oh, yeah.

Anne [00:12:38]:
Yeah, yeah.

Rebekka [00:12:39]:
I start to notice that, too.

Anne [00:12:40]:
I start to notice that. And, like, I'm not. I'm truly. I don't know how to explain this feeling. I am not judging their choices.

Rebekka [00:12:47]:
Yeah, we're just not in it.

Anne [00:12:48]:
We're just not in it. So you feel, like, a little left out in a weird way, like, kind of middle school y. And I need to, like, graduate from middle school. From middle school and go to high school and then go to college.

Rebekka [00:12:57]:
Yeah, maybe get my master's. I never got my master's, maybe a doctorate even.

Anne [00:13:01]:
Oh, my God, I could finally be a PhD. I want to be called Doctor Gregory.

Rebekka [00:13:05]:
Okay. I'll call you that from now on. Thanks.

Anne [00:13:06]:
Thanks.

Rebekka [00:13:07]:
But, doctor, I feel like. No, I think that we're just gonna get to the point where we don't think about it anymore, where it's not that our sobriety. Not that sobriety is easy. And I think that's why there are programs and there are ways, there are different tools that we have to use because we don't wanna go back to drinking. But I think it'll just become more normal, and we won't be so aware that we are not the drunk ones, you know? And we still may not want to be around drunk people.

Anne [00:13:43]:
I think that's kind of the truth. Like, I know, like, I was at this one. I don't want to give away details in case the person's listening, because they're a delightful human being, but they were getting, like, sloshed. And it was like this situation where, like, earlier in my sobriety, where I just kind of, like, was like, good night. Like, I didn't know what to do. Like, that's okay. Yeah. And that's fine.

Anne [00:14:08]:
I don't really. It's. It's. I'm at the place where I don't actually want to drink at all.

Rebekka [00:14:13]:
Great.

Anne [00:14:14]:
It's more like, oh, I'm still me navigating this world. How are some ways where, like, if I'm, you know, at a party and I'm not feeling it, like, how do I manage that? And that's. Or, like, if I've had a hard day, how do I reward myself? And I'm still in the cookie stage of things and who gives a shit? Great.

Rebekka [00:14:37]:
Yeah, I definitely am still in the sugar zone. I also had this feeling, though, and I hope that I have more of these days where I just am like, I'll just notice that I'm like, oh, I feel good right now. It'll be the end of the day and I'm having a cup of tea, or not even. I'm just sitting outside in the garden, and I'll be like, I feel good. And, oh, I kind of love that. I don't need a substance to make me feel good.

Anne [00:15:05]:
Yeah.

Rebekka [00:15:06]:
And, like, that's not all the time. That's not every day, but it just. When I feel that way and I recognize it, it makes me feel really good to be like, oh, I don't have to drink or smoke right now to feel like I can relax or celebrate. And sometimes it's, I don't have to. And sometimes it's I can't, you know, because I want to.

Anne [00:15:33]:
Yeah.

Rebekka [00:15:33]:
I think the hardest days are, like, the hardest days, like, when it's a bad day, when something goes on with my son, and all I want to do is check out, like, all I want to do is check out, like, if you get into a fight with your kid after you make up and everything and they go to bed, like, my ritual would have certainly been, have a drink.

Anne [00:15:54]:
Uh huh.

Rebekka [00:15:55]:
And. Or, well, maybe we can speak to.

Anne [00:15:57]:
That, because I feel like. And I think we've kind of talked on this a little bit, but, like, how do we just, like, tune out? Like, you can still tune out without substances. And, like, there's the healthy ways. Like, I'm going to do yoga or I'm going to meditate, which are great. I've started doing yoga again. Holy shit. My hip flexors are like, I've got the hip flexors of a 93 year old man.

Rebekka [00:16:19]:
Man.

Anne [00:16:20]:
Yes. Not even a woman.

Rebekka [00:16:22]:
Wow.

Anne [00:16:22]:
Yeah, real tight. Like, each time the yoga teacher's like.

Rebekka [00:16:28]:
Are you a man? Do your hips identify as a man?

Anne [00:16:31]:
Yeah, no. And I'm like, 93 year old, but Stu. Stu. His name is Stu. I prefer Stuart.

Rebekka [00:16:39]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:16:41]:
You can also just watch some really dumb tv. I have gotten. I've restarted watching the Real Housewives. And I know, I know, I know. It's, like, very produced. It's not real. Who cares? Kyle Richards isn't drinking this last season, which is amazing. Vanderpump rules.

Anne [00:16:58]:
Sometimes I'm watching love on the spectrum. Have you ever seen that show?

Rebekka [00:17:01]:
I've never watched it, but I'm aware of it.

Anne [00:17:03]:
It's delightful.

Rebekka [00:17:04]:
Nice.

Anne [00:17:04]:
But I mean, sometimes if I watch, because I have written on tv, if I'm watching scripted tv, I feel like I'm working sometimes.

Rebekka [00:17:14]:
Yeah. You're aware of either. It's annoying thinking of what you might have done in that circumstance in the script, or being like, why am I not writing on the show?

Anne [00:17:23]:
Yeah.

Rebekka [00:17:24]:
That's what's hard about watching comedy.

Anne [00:17:26]:
And I love watching comedy when I'm in the right mood. But sometimes I'm like, I just want to tune off my brain. I want my brain to go to sleep. I've also gotten into romance novels. Nice. They're kind of unrequited, unsexy, the least pervy ones. They're like, he glanced at me. I'm like, oh, God.

Anne [00:17:46]:
Wow wee wow.

Rebekka [00:17:47]:
We know you're kink now.

Anne [00:17:49]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Jane Austen, but, like, way worse written. Like, not that well written, but I think it's important.

Rebekka [00:17:59]:
Jennifer Austin.

Anne [00:18:00]:
Jennifer Austin? Yeah. She lives in Malibu. Yeah. That we need some things that aren't, like productivity or self care.

Rebekka [00:18:10]:
I even think it could be even simpler. And it's just, like, taking a breath and being, like, sometimes it could be shutting off in different ways and, like, what? And, yeah, like, entertaining yourself, but also just being, like, grateful in the moment.

Anne [00:18:30]:
Right.

Rebekka [00:18:30]:
So just being like, oh, here's, like, being present, I think, is another thing. Like, rather than. I did a lot of, like, future thought, like, in the future, when I'm working again on a show, that's when my life will be great. Nope. Or remember when I was on a show, but that's when my life was great. And I can say, okay, right now, like, more than the gratitude list. Like, I mean, like, in the moment and just be, like, okay. And just remind myself to be grateful for, like, simple things that I take for granted.

Rebekka [00:19:03]:
I think that helps as well. Agreed in on those hard days, like, because it's so much about the mindset and taking a breath. And then I kind of said this on our instagram, but I was talking to a friend from the program, and I was, like, saying, like, oh, I.

Anne [00:19:23]:
Wish I could read.

Rebekka [00:19:24]:
Like, I wish I would read. I never read. I should totally. I wish I could read. And she was like, why not now? Like, just start reading. And I was like, you're right. And I, like, charged my Kindle, and I started reading books, and, like, so instead of scrolling, yeah, I'm reading, and that is actually, like, so great.

Anne [00:19:47]:
It feels so much better for my brain. It's so much better for your brain and your. It also just helps you sleep. It helps, like, all of the stuff. It's so much better because I'm not taking up.

Rebekka [00:19:57]:
It's not that I'm taking up other time with reading.

Anne [00:20:00]:
No.

Rebekka [00:20:00]:
It's the time that I was already on a device. It's just now I can. If it's a really good fiction book, I can just say, oh. Instead of looking at a bunch of strangers and what they're doing on Instagram reels, I can literally just keep reading this book. And I'm like, yeah. It just really feels calming.

Anne [00:20:20]:
Yep.

Rebekka [00:20:21]:
And I think that because scrolling can feel like an addiction as well, it's like, not feeding my addiction with my escape, because I used to escape into scrolling where I'd be like, oh, I can't wait until I have time alone to just scroll.

Anne [00:20:34]:
If you're doing that. Like, that's harm reduction. Right? So it's going back to, like. So, like, yeah. Try not to be like, here's another thing that I think getting better up.

Rebekka [00:20:42]:
Is not good anyway.

Anne [00:20:44]:
I'm getting better at that. Like, if I'm just like, oh, you know what? Like, I just need to go slowly today. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. And then, yeah, I love the, like, being on the walk yesterday, I was like, oh, my God. Like, this is beautiful. Right? Like, we were talking before, it's been raining. Like, we live in the Pacific Northwest right now.

Anne [00:21:06]:
Like, we're in Los Angeles, but it's still raining in May.

Rebekka [00:21:09]:
It said that there was more rain in LA than Seattle this year.

Anne [00:21:12]:
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Rebekka [00:21:13]:
It's so ring. It's London or Seattle.

Anne [00:21:15]:
It's London or Seattle.

Rebekka [00:21:17]:
Chilly, but we don't have enough trench coats. Cause we're not used to this.

Anne [00:21:20]:
Oh, you know what? That's what we need to. We need to solve it by shopping.

Rebekka [00:21:23]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's another thing.

Anne [00:21:24]:
We've fallen into that thing.

Rebekka [00:21:26]:
Shopping feels great.

Anne [00:21:27]:
Like, we live in America. Like, or if you're listening anywhere else, like, anywhere. Like, getting new shit is nice. It is, but it's not always the solution.

Rebekka [00:21:36]:
Yeah. I mean, I think that there's everything. There's, like, two things, right? One is great job, we're not drinking. The other is, okay, so how do we still. In a healthy way, and I don't mean healthy and beat yourself up if you don't do it, but I mean healthy. And, like, what's actually gonna make you feel good? What's a thing that's gonna make you feel good with your brain? Like, and feel like I feel better today. And I'll say, like, scrolling a bunch and buying a bunch of stuff doesn't actually. Doesn't make me feel good.

Rebekka [00:22:13]:
It makes me feel good in the moment, but it actually doesn't make me feel good. And so trying to check those behaviors because I guess it's just the same addiction that I have to alcohol and in some ways, like pot and escaping, I will just put on something else. And, like, once I get my mind set on, like, I want a new pair of Birkenstocks or something, I will obsessively stare at, like, all shop, shop, shop, shop, shop forever. But I don't feel good after. And where did that 1 hour ago? Like, not. It doesn't make me feel good. And I'm like, but I'm doing it even though it doesn't make me feel good. That I think is not good.

Rebekka [00:22:55]:
Like, when you're doing something that is not good for you and you don't. It doesn't have a benefit.

Anne [00:23:00]:
It's my kids at the claw machine. They just want more of those stuffies they're designed to not like. I mean, all of the online shopping also is like, they're gonna just send you more ads. Cause they know you'll buy more and buy more and buy more and buy more and buy more and fill the market.

Rebekka [00:23:13]:
And even if you don't buy, then it still sets up a whole spiral for me. Cause I'm like, well, I do want that, but I can't afford it. And then it's like, oh, why can't you afford it? Oh, it's cause you're not working enough. It's like, just read a book and not go through the whole thing.

Anne [00:23:29]:
Yeah, and don't. And also, when you're in that zone, like, don't look on instagram because somebody might have, like, an announcement, and you might actually feel happy for them. They might be working in the town, but you don't want to see that right then. Not at that moment.

Rebekka [00:23:40]:
Right, right.

Anne [00:23:41]:
Like, it's like, yeah.

Rebekka [00:23:42]:
It's just kind of like, I think.

Anne [00:23:44]:
That back in the day, somebody would call us and we would find out.

Rebekka [00:23:47]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:23:47]:
Or we would read, like, the trades, you'd get them in your. In your day, and you would choose when to look at it. It wouldn't just, like, show up on your feed. And now it's like, it's just. It's just a. It's a not enough cycle. And, you know, a lot of us were drinking to fill that not enough part of us. And it's like, you know, I think part of this process is like, well, that was not working to make me feel enough.

Anne [00:24:11]:
And then you're left with, oh, my gosh, some days I really feel like I'm enough. Like, I am enough. But some days you're not gonna feel great.

Rebekka [00:24:19]:
Right.

Anne [00:24:19]:
And what are some other ways that you can feel better about yourself and be truly happy? Not just, like, putting a band Aid over that gaping hole.

Rebekka [00:24:28]:
Right. And sometimes we have to put the band aid, but, like, I think there's real housewives, but I don't know why. Like, for me, I think because technology has gotten so insane that I don't have any judgment on myself for watching tv because, like, even reality tv, whereas it's not even judgment about social media. It's just like, it's the same even with Fred, like, with my son, the way his behavior and his mental health is after he's watched a bunch of YouTube or played a bunch of video games is so different than if he's watched some tv. Like, it's just a different. A different. It hits us different.

Anne [00:25:08]:
I think so, too.

Rebekka [00:25:09]:
So I think, like, if it doesn't make you feel bad, then it's a great thing. If it makes you feel bad or has negative consequences, then it's like, I think that's, for me, that's what I've been looking at is what have I been doing that has actually been making me feel bad? Other than drinking.

Anne [00:25:27]:
Yep. I was just writing a list about this this morning because I'm like, oh, yeah. I mean, I get, like, I do lots of lists, big Virgo, Capricorn energy, Monday mornings, and what are the things that actually make me think? And, like, I sometimes think that I really like learning. Like, I. But sometimes, like, that scrolling is kind of, like, the false sense of, like, I'm learning new things, but I swear to God, it, like, goes in one ear and then out the other. Like, I could have just read, like, gone on a rabbit hole about some. I don't. Probably some celebrity.

Anne [00:26:06]:
Let me just be honest with some of my weird kinks or not kinks, but just, like, interests, and then I will, like, you know, not retain anything. You retain things so much better with a book.

Rebekka [00:26:18]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:26:18]:
Or with, like, a documentary or, like, even a bad documentary. Just, like, a fun documentary. I. Or sometimes even a YouTube video compared to, like, the short form, like, TikTok.

Rebekka [00:26:29]:
Right.

Anne [00:26:29]:
Like, for some reason, I don't retain any of that shit.

Rebekka [00:26:32]:
Yeah. Like, I think it's, like, broad strokes or something. Like, I'll get the broad strokes. Cause obviously, like, TikTok helped me get sober because I. Because of the algorithm. It served me lots of sober influencers as sober curious people quit lit. But it was sort of broad strokes. It was like, I had enough of it that I got this idea that, like, I should quit, but it didn't.

Rebekka [00:26:59]:
It didn't give me the, like, specific how to guide, you know? So there's. There's benefits to it, for sure. But in reason, within moderation, I personally have a hard time moderating that whole, like, I go into, like, a hole, and it's. I read that, like, a lot of people, when they give up drinking, then do the rebelling against going to sleep. It's like you're in your bed, but you're not going to sleep.

Anne [00:27:27]:
I think we both did that. We did that in Edinburgh. We never got on the timeline in Edinburgh, which is fucking crazy.

Rebekka [00:27:32]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:27:33]:
Why didn't we wake up early? It was so weird. I mean, we had a show at eight, but we could have been in bed by midnight.

Rebekka [00:27:39]:
We could have been. I know. Yeah. There's a weird.

Anne [00:27:43]:
But I think we were both in, like, I don't know, six months, nine months in.

Rebekka [00:27:48]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:27:48]:
We're still. We were still babies with the sobriety.

Rebekka [00:27:50]:
So, yeah, I mean, it's such an interesting. It's been such an interesting journey, and I feel like I learned so much from talking to people. I also really learned that when we talked to. When we spoke to some people who just gave it up and were fine. Yeah, that is not me. I am not that person. I have, like, Jackie and Mike and, like, that they were able to just say or even Kate, like, they were just like, I don't need it anymore. And once I make a choice, then I do it.

Rebekka [00:28:21]:
That is not me. I needed lots and lots of support and help and encouragement and tools and a program, because I don't know that I would have stayed sober if it wasn't for you, if it wasn't for the podcast, and then if it wasn't for the program, I definitely wouldn't have.

Anne [00:28:43]:
Well, and I think that also speaks to, like, what we're trying to do with this podcast is like, that everyone is different. Like, you know, you have things from your perspective, I have things from my perspective. You have things, you know, like, we have the ways we operate within the world, and our brains are different, and our backgrounds are different, our experiences are different, and how we perceive the world is different. So some people, like, Jackie, just makes that decision, or she'll just be like, you know what? No more caffeine. Right? Like, you're like, what the hell? I am not like that, but I am probably a little bit more like. But I'm different. I prefer doing things kind of in my own little midwestern way. But we.

Anne [00:29:28]:
Yeah. And I think if one tool doesn't work, hopefully one of our guests or us has presented a tool that might work for you, you know? And there is something out there that will help. But what I know for sure is that drinking is not helping your life. There is no way that drinking is helping anyone's life.

Rebekka [00:29:50]:
Well, and specifically our lives. It didn't help our lives.

Anne [00:29:53]:
No.

Rebekka [00:29:54]:
So some people are able to drink and be fine, and that's okay for them.

Anne [00:29:58]:
That's right. That's right.

Rebekka [00:29:59]:
Good for them.

Anne [00:29:59]:
I think what I'm more talking about is like, net. Like, if you're drinking every day, like, probably it's not.

Rebekka [00:30:05]:
If it's habitual.

Anne [00:30:06]:
If it's habitual, like, it's worth examining. I'm not talking about the person who has one glass of champagne once a year at a wedding. Like, I'm not. Or like even one drink a week.

Rebekka [00:30:15]:
Honestly, if you can do that, great.

Anne [00:30:17]:
All power to you.

Rebekka [00:30:18]:
You have that because there. Because the thing is, is then it becomes one carcinogenic thing that you have. Just like, someone might have a Doritos.

Anne [00:30:28]:
Like, or live in Los Angeles with this air quality. Like, you might just fucking be taking in carcinogens every day.

Rebekka [00:30:34]:
Right? So it's like, yeah, we take risks, but it becomes like, if it becomes your medicine, where you use it to solve your mental health or emotional, it.

Anne [00:30:48]:
Is not solving problems.

Rebekka [00:30:49]:
It doesn't solve it anything. And certainly for me, it didn't solve it, and I thought it did. And it's wild to me that I drank for 27 years, and it took me a long time.

Anne [00:31:01]:
Honestly, that could have been 67 years. You had 27 years. That drinking problem's brain had just finished developing.

Rebekka [00:31:11]:
Right?

Anne [00:31:11]:
Isn't that 25?

Rebekka [00:31:12]:
Oh, yeah. When it starts extra.

Anne [00:31:14]:
Yeah. So you still did it at the right time. You wouldn't have been ready beforehand, you know?

Rebekka [00:31:19]:
Yeah, that's the thing.

Anne [00:31:20]:
Yeah.

Rebekka [00:31:21]:
Yeah. And so I don't know. How have you felt? Like, so you feel like you're really in that place where you don't want to drink anymore. So when you go to a place, when you go to, like, a bar. No, you're not like, oh, I wish I could have that.

Anne [00:31:34]:
No, I love Coca Cola regular. That's not what they call it.

Rebekka [00:31:40]:
If we could just have Coca Cola regular sponsor us. I love Coca Cola regular.

Anne [00:31:47]:
I used to, like, I'm like a kid of the nineties, so I like diet Coke. Diet Coke. And I sometimes look at, like, a regular coke, a regular sprite.

Rebekka [00:31:56]:
Sugar tastes good.

Anne [00:31:57]:
I know. Compared to, I know if I'm having one with water, it's still like, it's not the best for my teeth, but it's fine for my. I mean, guess what? A cocktail has more sugar than that shit.

Rebekka [00:32:07]:
Oh, yeah.

Anne [00:32:07]:
And I'm not hurting my liver. So I, like, I've just enjoyed different drinks. Like, it's kind of like a, also, I don't like, let's be honest, like, I don't eat out as much. I've got two kids. Kids are expensive. We live in Los Angeles, so eating out is kind of a treat anywhere where, like, drinking would be a possibility. You know, I'm not talking, like, I guess you could drink a chipotle. Why can you drink a chipotle? That just made me think about it.

Anne [00:32:31]:
They have beer at Chipotle. I've, like, never ordered it, but I remember seeing that and being like, huh? I was gonna get, like, the. They always have, like, fun lemonades or something. I was gonna get, like, a fun lemonade. Sugar and, like, no, it was. There was beer, but I know there.

Rebekka [00:32:44]:
Really is alcohol everywhere.

Anne [00:32:45]:
There's alcohol everywhere.

Rebekka [00:32:46]:
It's everywhere. And then actually, now it's interesting because they're like, you know, changing the laws around marijuana, like, nationally, and it's like, oh, okay. So, like, I'm preparing myself, but it's because I have to think about it all the time. It's just. Nothing is. Neither of those subs. No substance is just normal for me where I can just. I am still in the place where I see it, and I'm like, you are not going to have that.

Anne [00:33:13]:
I have to say that in that voice. You are not going to have that, Rebecca.

Rebekka [00:33:19]:
Yeah, that's nice self talk. You are not going to have that. You don't deserve that.

Anne [00:33:30]:
So she's kind of from the forties.

Rebekka [00:33:32]:
And she is like a robot from the forties.

Anne [00:33:37]:
Wow. Okay. It makes sense. Cocktails. It was your jam. Yeah, no, I don't want that. I still am looking for just having fun, and I'm trying to just have fun.

Rebekka [00:33:50]:
Have you tried jumping rope?

Anne [00:33:52]:
I have. I like jumping on the rebounder. I like workout classes. I like. I started hiking with friends again.

Rebekka [00:33:59]:
What if you brought a rebounder to every party and just jumped on the trampoline?

Anne [00:34:04]:
I'm pretty much on brand. Like, who's that fucking weirdo? It's just mad at work.

Rebekka [00:34:07]:
Honestly. That would be really funny.

Anne [00:34:11]:
I do that at the next. I have a hot luck. Yeah, it's gonna be at your house. My house.

Rebekka [00:34:17]:
And I have a trampoline.

Anne [00:34:18]:
Just go on the trip, dude. I think that all of those ladies would be like, yeah, this makes sense.

Rebekka [00:34:22]:
Yeah, they'd be fine with it.

Anne [00:34:24]:
They'd totally be fine with it.

Rebekka [00:34:25]:
I mean, kids do it all the time.

Anne [00:34:26]:
I know. I know. They're not. It just would be like, oh, you got Anne. Like, she looks normal, but she's. The more you get to know me.

Rebekka [00:34:34]:
You'Re like, whoa, I'll provide a stack of diapers.

Anne [00:34:38]:
I want to get off and go to the bathroom. I'm not gonna like, no, but if you have to. Not lady going across country to, like, confront the girlfriend.

Rebekka [00:34:47]:
I'm not thinking you're gonna, like, be on there for 24 hours.

Anne [00:34:49]:
I give birth vaginally, though. My stuff's okay there.

Rebekka [00:34:53]:
Okay. Your bladder didn't get.

Anne [00:34:54]:
My bladder is not loosey goosey. Cause I had two c sections. I just have, like, a. Just a scar I can still feel in my lower abdomen.

Rebekka [00:35:01]:
Okay. Wear a crop top. Show off the scar. And my scar's not that tight like a crop top.

Anne [00:35:06]:
Can you. Do you know where they do the incisions?

Rebekka [00:35:09]:
We're both okay. Wear low cut jeans. Extremely low.

Anne [00:35:12]:
Cute jeans.

Rebekka [00:35:12]:
Oh, my God.

Anne [00:35:13]:
My muffin top will be like, no.

Rebekka [00:35:14]:
Wear low cut jeans that, like, dip. Like, dip. Come on and jump on a trampoline.

Anne [00:35:20]:
Aguilera survive her dirty era.

Rebekka [00:35:23]:
Christina Aguilera's dirty outfit and jump on the trampoline, and then you'll have a great time at any party.

Anne [00:35:29]:
No one wants to see that, or everyone wants to see that.

Rebekka [00:35:31]:
I don't know. I think they all do.

Anne [00:35:32]:
What's more than a muffin top? That's what I have.

Rebekka [00:35:35]:
A pound cake top.

Anne [00:35:38]:
Pound cake top. Pound cake top.

Rebekka [00:35:41]:
Angel food cake top.

Anne [00:35:44]:
Oh, a popover.

Rebekka [00:35:45]:
Sure.

Anne [00:35:46]:
I'm a popover. I got a popover.

Rebekka [00:35:47]:
Yeah. I have a little bridge. I have a whole bakery, so it's fine.

Anne [00:35:52]:
Yeah. So. Yeah. And how are you with, like, I feel like you're more going at parties.

Rebekka [00:36:00]:
I just. I mean, I'll go to parties. I went to, like, two industry events. Oh, that's right. There was open bar, and the first one, I was, like, very aware of myself.

Anne [00:36:14]:
Did you have a coke regular?

Rebekka [00:36:15]:
You know what? I had a seltzer with a lime. Great. Yeah, I had that, and it was fine. It's like, yeah, I noticed that I would have had alcohol, but I'm grateful that, actually, I'm not drinking at those events, because I would have had a.

Anne [00:36:31]:
Lot of alcohol, and then you'd have. And it would have been a work event.

Rebekka [00:36:35]:
I would have driven home, and I would have said God knows what, because I would have been all loose, and so I would go to those work events and be like, open bar and not like, oh, I'm here to work. And they're just having us meet people, like, networking in a bar location. It doesn't mean have unlimited drinks, even though they're unlimited.

Anne [00:36:58]:
Mm hmm.

Rebekka [00:36:59]:
So, yeah, but then I was like, I'm gonna go to the next one. Cause it was kind of like some people just went to one or the other. And I was like, I'm going to both because why not? Why not meet as many people as possible? And, yeah, the second one was easier than the first because I had already done the first. And, yeah, I'm just getting used to it. I mean, I don't really love being around drunk people. Same. Yeah, it's just like, you notice it because you're not drunk. Yeah.

Rebekka [00:37:30]:
And. But I'm not looking at it and being like, I wish. Me neither.

Anne [00:37:35]:
It's more like, oh, I w. Like, I don't wish I was like, oh, can I just be that stupid? And then I'm like, oh, I'm stupid every day. Yeah, maybe I should just embrace, like, for the podcast today, Rebecca wrote a list for me to bring. Guess who forgot two things on the list, on the list that she wrote me?

Rebekka [00:37:57]:
It was a three thing list.

Anne [00:38:00]:
I forgot two of them. Luckily, I live about two minutes away.

Rebekka [00:38:04]:
Yeah, yeah, it was fine.

Anne [00:38:05]:
It was fine.

Rebekka [00:38:06]:
It was just funny, though.

Anne [00:38:07]:
So I should just embrace this. I could be stupid every time.

Rebekka [00:38:09]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:38:10]:
You know what? At this next barbecue, I am gonna go jump. We're not gonna talk to. Don't tell anyone.

Rebekka [00:38:15]:
No. Just start jumping on the trail.

Anne [00:38:16]:
That would just be a test. If any of these motherfuckers have listened to the podcast.

Rebekka [00:38:19]:
I don't think they have.

Anne [00:38:20]:
I don't think they have. And then I could just.

Rebekka [00:38:23]:
I think that would be great. Oh, God, it makes me want more trampolines.

Anne [00:38:27]:
You're the one who's gonna need the diaper. Cause if I do that the entire time, I will.

Rebekka [00:38:31]:
No. Yeah. You don't have to go insane and do it the whole time. I mean, you can.

Anne [00:38:34]:
What if I do it for 3 hours?

Rebekka [00:38:36]:
That's that.

Anne [00:38:36]:
I might get dehydrated.

Rebekka [00:38:38]:
I just mean you can go. I don't mean you have to commit, like, once a week.

Anne [00:38:42]:
I was thinking I wanna do it for 3 hours and, like, not talk to anyone at this party. I was thinking everyone's like, ann, you want a burger? I'm like, can't. I'm jumping. And kids trying to get up. I'm like, no, mine.

Rebekka [00:38:55]:
Get up.

Anne [00:38:56]:
Mine.

Rebekka [00:38:56]:
Yeah, I think that'll make you.

Anne [00:38:58]:
I'm the jumping queen. You're nothing.

Rebekka [00:39:01]:
That'll make you feel less socially awkward. Right? Just yelling at people. You're the jumping queen.

Anne [00:39:07]:
Jumping queen off mine. And with that, I think that's our.

Rebekka [00:39:13]:
Yeah. So if you want to be buddies with people like us, you can still find us. We are taking a break, but we will be still putting out content on our instagram. You could still go back and listen to episodes if you haven't, and comment and, you know, message us on instagram. We really appreciate hearing from everybody, and it's been so fun to do this podcast and be your buddy, Ann.

Anne [00:39:39]:
It's been so much fun.

Rebekka [00:39:40]:
We're buddies.

Anne [00:39:41]:
Oh, wait. Do you have a cocktail? You can? I do.

Rebekka [00:39:44]:
So we just pretended that we ended it.

Anne [00:39:48]:
Okay, great.

Rebekka [00:39:49]:
Or we could just end it.

Anne [00:39:51]:
Let's do the cocktail.

Rebekka [00:39:52]:
Okay, so I made a cocktail today. Yes. And right now, we were going to make it on the podcast, but we.

Anne [00:40:06]:
Were just chit chatting in the other room. And she just made it. She just made it. And this is why we need to take a break. Just our brains start working, and I.

Rebekka [00:40:16]:
Feel like that was a preview of the future of our lives during this break, where I can just make us mocktails.

Anne [00:40:24]:
We can just hang. Yeah.

Rebekka [00:40:26]:
So this is a mocktail. It is a version of a margarita using ritual alcohol free tequila. And it has lime juice, honey, the alcohol free tequila. And then I like. I like to put in a splash of orange juice.

Anne [00:40:43]:
Oh, nice. Cheers. It's yummy.

Rebekka [00:40:50]:
It's good. It's tart.

Anne [00:40:52]:
It's yummy.

Rebekka [00:40:52]:
And I think that I made it with agave, and it was really good. And I made this with honey. The honey doesn't dilute as well once it gets cold, but I still think it's good.

Anne [00:41:03]:
This is really yummy. It's kind of got a little bit of a, like, a spicy kind of thing.

Rebekka [00:41:07]:
That's the ritual.

Anne [00:41:08]:
Oh, nice.

Rebekka [00:41:09]:
I really like the fake tequila because it sort of tastes like real tequila, which could be triggering for some people, but for me, it's great. Like, I can just have this and sit in my garden and be like, look at me having a mocktail. Wow.

Anne [00:41:25]:
You do that?

Rebekka [00:41:26]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:41:26]:
So, like, is anyone looking at you when you're like, look at me. Like, are people, like, spying on you?

Rebekka [00:41:31]:
I mean, yeah, I'm talking to all the people.

Anne [00:41:34]:
She's teenagers outside.

Rebekka [00:41:35]:
I do always have teenagers.

Anne [00:41:36]:
There's these, like, teenagers that hang. Last time they were talking about, like, their sales. They've got, like, they might be going into sales.

Rebekka [00:41:43]:
Yeah.

Anne [00:41:43]:
Interesting teenagers.

Rebekka [00:41:44]:
They're interesting teenagers, and they are right on the other side of my bushes. So I guess that's who I'm talking to. And I'm saying, look at me. I'm having a mocktail. Look at me. Maybe they'll give me a job.

Anne [00:41:55]:
Yeah. In sales. Yeah. They were talking about it.

Rebekka [00:41:57]:
Cheers. Cheers.

Anne [00:42:01]:
Be our non drinking buddy.

Rebekka [00:42:02]:
Come on. Be our non drinking buddy. We need some buddies.

Anne [00:42:07]:
It's quite good.