Bad Advice Only

Jizz June | Our First Blow Jobs & How to Give Mind-Blowing Head

Share episode

This week, we're serving up an episode that's extra spicy. 

First up, Ali drops a bombshell with her wild new hotdog restaurant idea where the menu isn't the only thing getting raunchy – prepare for some serious dirty talk from your server! 

Then, things get really personal as we each spill the tea on our very first blow job experiences. Get ready for all the awkward, hilarious, and unforgettable details from our pasts. 

But it's not all just reminiscing! We're also diving deep into the art of oral pleasure, sharing our top tips and tricks for giving truly mind-blowing head. Whether you're looking to upgrade your skills or don't know where to start, we've got the secrets.

Lastly, we're sharing some unusual and unexpected blow job positions that are guaranteed to spice things up in the bedroom. 

In this episode:

  • Ali's New Controversial Business Venture Restaurant Idea
  • Our Hilarious (and Awkward) First Blow Job Stories
  • Expert Tips for Giving Mind-Blowing Head
  • Unusual Blow Job Positions You NEED to Try

------------------------------------------

Submit your questions and topics you’d like to hear on the podcast to: BadAdviceOnlyNYC@gmail.com 

Sponsor Us: SponsorBadAdviceOnly@gmail.com

Find us on Instagram: BadAdviceOnlyNYC

------------------------------------------

#SexPositivePodcast, #RelationshipTalk, #FirstTimeStories, #OralSexTips, #SexualWellness, #AdultHumor, #PodcastLife, #DatingAdvice, #UnusualPositions, #IntimateConversations, #PodcastForAdults, #ComedyPodcast, #FunnyStories, #BedroomTips, #TabooTopics, #PodcastCommunity, #ExplicitContent, #HotTakes, #AdultHumorPodcast, #NewEpisode

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, keep your pinchers. I think we're rebranding it. No okay to sign ladies, it's pinchers. The men that listen to this are absolutely flaccid. We're your hosts, Tara, Nora, and Allie, and you're listening to Bad Advice Only. We're just three New York City rats talking about scurrying around the Big Apple. Here, we make the New York City mistakes so you don't have to. We're begging you. Leave us a review and follow us on Instagram and TikTok at BadAdviceOnlyNYC. We release new episodes every Monday, so stay tuned, rats. Welcome back, ladies. Hi, rats. Hi, rat. Hi, rat. Happy Tuesday. Good morning. Good morning. Well, we release on Mondays, so. Happy Monday. I'm glad that you all get to listen to us on those miserable Mondays. Hopefully we bring a little joy to your ears. Fun fact, this comes out at 5 a.m. So any of you early bird rats, early rats, tune in. So today we're going to be talking about blowjobs for our June. So we wanted to talk a little bit about blowjobs because, you know, there is some jizz involved in blowies. Sometimes. Sometimes. Not all. Not all. And I'll get into my own journeys of blowies. Not all jobs are complete. That's never the case for me. I never complete the job. Anyways. So before we get into it, I think Allie had an entrepreneurial update. I woke up this morning with this idea. And I don't know where it came from. But I woke up with this idea. And you know how I wanted to open up Not my own food truck. I know. Nacho average nachos listener, like a cold stone for nachos. More on that later. But I thought about a new food venture today. And I thought of dirty dogs. And the concept would be. It's a hot dog food truck. Of course. And you know how, I don't know if you've ever been to North Carolina. This is very niche. I don't think so. But there's a restaurant there called Dirty Dick's Crab Shack and they are purposely mean to you that it's called dicks because they're dicks to you. They put like insults on a hat and you have to wear it around. I've seen the concept. And I was like, what if we have dirty dogs and the concept is it is a slutty hot dog food truck. And they'll serve you your hot dog and be like, you dirty fucking whore. Like they're just like, you know, or they'll be like, mouth let me see you eat that dog and would all the dogs have sex position names or like it'd be like doggy style totally and they'd be really sloppy like I'm talking like all the sauces all the cheese sauce and the waiters just dirty talk you they're just like I like how you suck that dog baby I don't mean to shame Paul Fotenhauer a throwback to our jewelry jizz episode but this sounds way better than his just throwing jizz and things to be clear I don't want to put jizz on the hot dogs yeah i understand i just but you could you could you could it could be a condiment oh yeah you could be like the jizz dog yeah yeah the jizz dog oh that's exciting you could do like jizz shots with like ketchup and stuff like stay tuned rats stay tuned dirty dogs coming to you soon i just want to call out normal podcasts oh we're gonna have merch no we're gonna have a sex hot dog shop how cool we do need investors though so um anybody that's listening my venmo um dm me and i will give it to you Thanks. Also, I know there's a segue in here somewhere, but my brain ain't working. Dogs, blowjobs. I feel like when you deep throat a hot dog, it's basically deep throat and a dick. It is a good way to start getting those muscles ready for a blowjob. Anybody else deep throat on hot dogs or just this bitch? You know, I've been in three hot dog eating competitions. I don't know how many times you've announced that to our platform. It's on our Hinge, guys. So if you ever find a girl on Hinge who says she's been in three hot dog eating competitions. Also says I like it. clean sheets, okay? There's more to me than just the hot dogs. Actually, she has two hot dog props

SPEAKER_00:

for the

SPEAKER_01:

record. I figured what we could do really quickly is talk about our first time, but then we're obviously going to have to talk about Allie's face to base. Face to base. Our listeners loved it. The listeners ate up face to base last episode. Yeah, they need more. That's not the only thing they're going to be eating up if they try to do it. You know what I mean? So we're talking first time? First blowjob. Does anyone want to go first? Are you nervous? I don't remember mine. How can you not remember? You have asked me this before, and I truly, when I say I do not remember my first blowy blow, I don't. That's crazy. That's really crazy. It's memorable. Yeah, it's traumatic for most girls. Well... Maybe I repressed it. She was just blowing so many dudes in high school. No, it's not that I've blown so many dicks. In high school? In high school, I blew... Wow. How many? I'll say two. I'll say concretely I can remember two. So give us a story of one of the two. It happened on a rock. What rock? Was he sitting on it? He was laying. It's really hard. Oh, my God. Are you a mermaid in this? So I was dating this guy in high school. And this was like early stages before we really met. committed to the bit and we were... Weirdly, this started at a playground. It always starts at a playground. We get horny as fuck on a playground for some reason. It must be being around children. We were like, we shan't make out in this children's playscape. We must evacuate the premises. I don't know why we decided to... He was like, hey, we were in his neighborhood And he was like, let's go to this weird, like, hotel thing and we parked and on the side of the hotel was like this cliff you've actually eaten there Tara I was imagining this place you know what I'm talking about we have pictures of us there on that huge rock sheet legit when you said it was on a rock that's where my brain went wow yeah so I've been to Ally's first place yeah how cute did it go to just please I don't think so I can't believe she doesn't remember I know so here's my immediate thought like I would assume, because guys blow so fast, like, they blow their load so fast when they're losing their virginity. So, like, why aren't they just losing their shit? I mean, we're probably just really bad at blowing. Just really bad at blowing. Blowjobs? Yeah. Like, noming on on the coil top. Yeah. And, like, we'll get to that with me. I know I did not know what I was doing. Oh, God. So, no, just bleaching. Not that I remember, but, like, he could have. Now is a different story. Now I'm 10 years. You should go back and redeem yourself. I can't because we actually found out that we know somebody in common in our adulthood lives. And I feel like we resurfaced that and it didn't go well. Oh, is that guy? Yeah. Yeah. If you want that story, pay for the story. Yes. Yeah. Nora, what about you? Okay. I do remember my first time for the record. Relax. But... It was just like a normal, I gave it my best. On a bed? Do you think you gave it your best at the time? Yeah, but I was really nervous, so I kept making jokes. Just holding the dick as a mic. Is this thing on? But one of my first times, same guy, I just remember that I didn't know how to contain my saliva properly. That's not a bad thing. No, it can be. I was drooling so aggressively on his dick that like when he stood up he was laying on the bed there was literally a puddle because I just wasn't like I wasn't bringing it back into the mouth I was just like letting it gravity take it from me I think some of our male listeners will they love this will give you a stamp of approval for this it was really yuck in hindsight think about men like that though a little high school Nora just slobbin on and off like legit slobbin okay so like not terrible did he just plead I don't I don't remember. See, okay. I would like an apology. I'm going to say no. I'm going to say no because I dated that guy for a long time and I don't think he ever once came from a blowjob because I was a child and didn't know what I was doing. And to clarify, as a child, she was 17. 17-ish. Early 20s. Early 20s. We dated a while. And then Chomper's over here. Tara, what'd you say? Well, I said corner of the cob and she said, we'll get to that. So I'm confused. Wait, no. That was something else.

UNKNOWN:

Um...

SPEAKER_01:

My first time, I remember it vividly. We had a conversation before. Oh. I was a senior. He was a junior. Can you walk me through what that conversation was like? We were like, we want to have sex. And we were like, yeah, you're like, I'm a Christian. So was he. We were both Catholic. So you got to find a different hole. Yeah. So as long as you're Catholic and you want to do it out of wedlock, you just get creative and find another hole. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of holes on your body, guys. So anyways, we were like, should we try oral first? And we were like, yeah, let's do that. I'm sure he was like, yeah. He wanted to have sex on prom night, and I was like, I'm not doing that. You're not that kind of girl. Number one, I didn't want to go to prom, and we didn't. There was a huge debate with our mother about that, but I didn't want to go to prom. She said it would be my biggest regret ever. Guess what? I'm 34. It's not.

SPEAKER_00:

Your biggest regret.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, she told me I would regret it for the rest of my life. Never mind. on somebody regretted it anyways back to the oral so I told him no we're definitely not having sex on prom night that's so gay we're bringing that back I'm also though just dying laughing thinking about like a tiny Tara being like no I won't have sex with you and now she's fully doing the reverse splits on a dick I know he really missed out he's married now so hopefully he's having great marriage sex definitely isn't shout out I hear that marriage sex is bomb yeah That sounds so hot. I heard everyone's so happily married. No one's cheating. So you were like, I'm not going to fuck you, but I will suck you. Yeah, I was like, let's definitely try oral first. Because him going down on me sounded ideal. I was like, this sounds great. Like you're so far away. It doesn't count. So he went down on me first. Oh God, give you a match. We had the place to ourselves. Our parents were out of town for Nora's volleyball game. You had a volleyball game in San Antonio. And so I had him over. He went down on me terribly. I just laid there like a dead fish not knowing what the fuck to do with that. Did you pretend to enjoy it? No. Okay. We were both so shy. She didn't know. No. We were both so shy and we were like I'm sure he just licked my lips and like maybe fingered me. Maybe. And then he was like your turn. And I was like okay my turn and I like hopped down there and like I had no idea that you were supposed to like include pressure like sucking holding it this is so real this is I feel like I'm in the room I know I know and like I wish you could see it like I'm pretty sure we had like the little mermaid playing on in the background just a movie you know because that was in my DVD player at all times I heard multiple guys tell me that was their first boner is when she turns from mermaid to human because she's hot as fuck oh and she's nude yeah she's nude and she's hot we've all fucked at Disney movies I took some kids virginity to Finding Nemo that's a dark one to fuck too I wasn't anticipating was it when Darla or whatever shook the fish bag until it died guys I'm not saying it was right okay so back to me I definitely did not know what I was doing I doubt I used hands I did not notice like suck or do anything I definitely didn't have like a wet mouth

SPEAKER_00:

like

SPEAKER_01:

aww And I'm pretty sure I just like pumped it like two or three times in my mouth. And then I looked up at him and I go, I don't like it. And he was like, okay, you can stop. That's very sweet. And then Nora walked in on us. Yeah. Nora got home from her volleyball game and we were cuddling naked under the covers. And Nora has zero cool, zero chill, comes up, rips the covers off and goes, ah, and ran out of the room laughing. Such a little monster. How old were you? As if you never walked in on me having sex. I have. And I was cool about it. But none of us want to. to walk in on you having sex. I don't mind. I really don't mind. We know you don't mind. We mind, Nora. We mind. If you repeat Italy one more time, I'm going to lose it. Allie and I don't want to see you on a date. I genuinely don't mind. I feel like I'm so close with y'all. It doesn't turn me on. It's just like if I were pooping or something. Listener, we did have a serious conversation with our last Italy trip. We were all single and Nora and I had a serious conversation of what we were going to do if we brought a guy home since we were sharing a bed. And we, like, really had it planned out of, like, okay, I'll just go to the couch or Nora will go to the couch. We'll stay on one side of the bed. Well, Al and I are down with, like, same rooms. Yeah. I think Nora and I shouldn't have sex next to each other. I agree. But, like, we could tap in and out. After I'm done, she can go in. In the same bed. She doesn't mean same guy, I don't think. No, she means same bed, though. Same bed. But the juice is... There is juices. Nora can do it on top of the comforter. I'll pull the comforter off. Ju-ju-ju-ju-juice juice.

UNKNOWN:

Oh, God.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, so we've certainly gone off topic. Okay, so the next part that I want to talk about is blowing to just pletion. And let's bring back that face-to-base, Allie. Tell us more. I cannot tell you, listener, how many DMs we got about face-to-base. First of all, I can't believe that it's not out there. I'm sure it is, but I've never seen it. Even in porn, I know. I don't see face-to-face. I mean, maybe in some, like, really aggressive form. Right, but it's not, like, the category. It should be called face-to-face. You know what I mean? Because there's a difference between literally deep-throating a dick to just please you and versus blowing the tippy. Oh, for sure. To just please you. And we'll talk about that. Okay, so we're just talking about our techniques now. Yeah, I want to hear your face-to-face technique. Okay, because that's, like, my main technique. Face-to-face, sorry. That's our main technique. Face-to-face also, depending on if you're laying down. Depending on the position. It really depends on who initiates it. Yeah, you're right. Face-to-face. It also is an option. I'll start with base to face first. So base to face is initiated by the man. This is I am laying on my back, head off the bed. Or this could be I am on my knees and wanting to back away from the dick. And the man will grab your head in either position. And he shoves the dick. All the way down the throat. So the base is at the face. Man rats, please discuss this with your sex partner before you do it. Yeah. Thanks. Face fucking is totally fine as long as you get consent for it. We're going to need some consent. Right. Yeah. Some girls love it. Base to face can have two different types of technique. It can be you just hold it down there and then you give a little hummer where you swallow. The dick? Yeah, I've gotten really positive feedback. It's completely face-to-face, and then you just swallow, swallow, swallow. Yeah. I still grow up. Oh, it's really hard. Yeah, I couldn't. So no, that's amazing. For the listener, the penis is all the way down the jugular. And then swallow, like you're swallowing a pill. That's hard. It's really hard. It's also dangerous. Careful, guys. So dangerous. Be careful out there, rats.

SPEAKER_00:

You need to be properly lubricated, or else it just really hurts.

UNKNOWN:

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01:

It can also be an instant where you throw up on a penis, because Nora and I have both done this. Yeah, I have pretty much dialed on a dick. The other base to face is just really, like, they pull out. Like, you know in Pilates when they're, like, down an inch, up an inch? Yeah. That's how I feel base to face, where it's, like, down an inch, back an inch. Oh, so you're keeping it almost deep-throated. You're keeping it fully on a deep thing, but, like, you're barely moving. I like that. That's a good tip. Wow. I don't know any men that I've blown that would want that. That's a good thing, actually. It's very painful. No, it's really hard. Face to base, on the other hand, is me initiating it. You're in control of that. And now I'm grabbing hands around hip and I am pulling the man into me. Pushing it into you. And then same things apply. In an inch, down an inch. Like I now have more freedom and control. Wow. And then once it's all sloppy sloppy, then I do the rest of my work. And I'm a one-handed kind of a twisty girl. So if I am getting back towards the tip, I've now gone... Face away from base. Yes. I have my one little hand. Righty. She's a righty. I'm a righty. And I will just do a twisty, like basically connect my hand to my mouth. Yeah, fist to mouth. And we move together, but the hand's twisting. But you're still twisting. Interesting. And then if I get tired, I switch hands. Sometimes I do the hand to lip connection, no twisty, face to base. Face to base, hand lip connection. Where does the hand go if you're face to base? You spread it. Spread it, good. At the base, spread the hand. So then you open your hand, so you're just making the okay sign. Okay sign, or you can open it all together. So that you can read. Really good. Face to face. Bonus tip. Something I've noticed guys really like. Go on. I don't know why. I think it has to do with your prostate, boys. I really don't know. But like they like their taint to be touched. Love the taint. Are you poking it? I'm poking it. It's a poke, but like a firm pressing. Do you hold the press? Behind the balls. Yeah, like I'll use like one, my middle finger usually. Okay, palm on the balls, middle finger to the taint. That's what I do. Firm press. Cute. I don't know why they like it though. Twinning. Twinning. I don't know if there's some nerve over there. That's their G spot. You think? Yeah, no, I've read it. I've read about it. At least I think so factually that I just assume you're a liar. No, I've actually read about this. That's why they like it is because it is in their prostate. Their G-spot's in their prostate, and that is a direct correlator. Well, then just let us peg them. I know. Just let us get up in the butt. Let us peg you. You know you guys want to go. Come on. Bad advice only. Looking for an O? Let me beg you. Begging for pegging. Come on. Bring that back, boys. So Tara does something that I think is quite porn star-esque. Yeah. And I think it's too much work, personally. Okay, so that's the thing, though. Like, I love the theatrics of it. That's where I really enjoy it. And I think it's more on the, like, dom-y side for people because the way y'all describe it, it's so sub-y

SPEAKER_00:

sounding that

SPEAKER_01:

I could never. I would not enjoy it. I would be, ugh, it sounds humiliating. A dom blowjob just makes no sense to me. A dom job. A dom job, as I call them now. I came up with it. Yeah, I really get theatrical, so I definitely learned how to give head by watching porn. And by no means am I saying I'm doing porn star theatrics, but I took some cues from them. So for me, I definitely start really, really slowly teasing them, playing with it by barely putting it in my mouth, barely licking it. Maybe I don't even put it in my mouth. I just hold their dick up along my face and lick it. Wait, so she's holding it and it looks like a bayonet. She's about to go the water ladies this is the exact opposite of face to face this is the exact opposite she's barely touching this thing I'm barely touching it they're getting blowing on it yeah they're getting so hard and horny because I'm just teasing it eventually I'll like go like maybe two pumps down on my with my mouth to get it a little wet two pumps down it's like Starbucks they're like I'll take two pumps of vanilla you are so basic Allie. She's like Pilates and Starbucks. How is this relatable? So two pumps. Yeah, two pumps with the mouth and then like I'll get it good and wet there and then I'll do my churning of the butter both hands. It's a both hand twisty twisty. Nora rarely uses hands depending on the partner. Allie uses one hand and then switches if it gets tired. I go like 1800s pilgrim woman churning that butter. Ringing out a towel. Yes, Allie has her hand raised I have a question. Go on. I think this is impressive. Thank you. What about a small dick, though? Because I've always wondered, two hands, like, what do you do when you're just getting the tip? So here's the thing. I do think, and remember, I've been with, like, micro dicks and smaller penises in the past, and so I have played with this, and I do think it's still good because they also get a little bit of an ego boost when you're using two hands. So you do use, even if it's a micro, you're not using just the pinchers. No, you're not pinching a dick. No, but, like, you know what I mean? Like, if it's a micro penis, you just gotta Guys, visualize. Visualize the pinchers. Please, God. Yeah, I did have to do that with the micro penis. Okay, okay. That's what I was thinking. Regular under medium. We're not talking micro penis anymore. Just under average. All right. So like a five inch below. Yeah, below five inches. I will still use two hands just a little bit, but you can always lose a couple fingers. So like you could do pinky up. So like grab your dick, ladies. Good. With both hands. Pinkies up. Because we're ladies. Or even ring finger up. Yeah, you can get your ring finger up. You can get back to your pincers. Back to your pincers. You do get back to your pincers, but we're talking girth still. Ladies. So then once you're getting down to the base with your hand, not your mouth, you can spread them and still keep the okay sign. Keep the pincers. Yeah, keep your pincers. I think we're rebranding it. No okay sign, ladies. It's pincers. The men that listen to this are absolutely flaccid. Guys, DM us if you're hard during this. They were really into me licking the side of it. Absolutely. The pictures lose a few fingers. I wonder if that was helpful for anyone. Anyways. I think it's great. Around that time, I've now pumped them maybe five times with mouth and hand. At that point, you've gathered some saliva, so then I'll spit on it and then jerk them off more with the churning of butter. What's your mouth up to? I'm taking breath. She breaks. She's yawning. I make an eye contact saying, you like that? She's checking the time. This is mostly a hand job, for the record. Yeah, and then, so that's the thing. I get them good and warmed up, and then I go to town with my mouth. So what I'll typically do. Yeah, pre-work. You've got to get it warmed up. Everyone should stretch before physical activities, and that's what I'm doing. I'm getting my dick stretched. Stretching that mouth? Not stretching the mouth. I'm not doing shit with that thing. So going back to my, this is my crazy, when we were talking about our porn I can't remember which episode that was where we talked about porn and how I watched the same porn. Yeah, that's where I learned it. He's like, they're like, I feel towering her basically. And he's like tongue out. And she's like, and like, it went deeper. And I was like, Oh, interested. I will say making that noise. Great idea. Oh, I fake gag almost every time. Yeah, all the time. And then when you want to take a break from especially when you're doing what Nora and Allie do that face to base, if you want to take a break from that, come on. Come up with both your hands, keep churning that butter, and then really work on the head and slurp on it. They love it. At least slurp on it. Unless they're faking orgasms. Call back to last episode. No, I love it. Slurping on that and derping. Slurping, derping. I've had multiple guys tell me they specifically don't want hands, like guys I've dated. That's so weird to me. I know, and I always thought it was really weird. Are you?

UNKNOWN:

No.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Right. I agree. Because like a lot of guys, OK, it's like boyfriends who have told me this, who are like, I actually I know I'm really weird, but I'm just someone who doesn't like hands. And then when I find when I give them the hands, they love it. So I'm like, do they not know? I wonder if it's more of like their exes. So like maybe similar to Norah's complaint in our last episode of women not teaching men how to Go down on them properly. And I don't know if that had something to do with his penis size, but, like, I've had other guys that, like, want me to basically act like I'm strangling him. Here's the thing. Seriously. Girls are different, but I think this might be a subby thing. You tell me, Tara. But, like, I like instruction. Like, instruction to me is sexy. Like, if a guy's, like, loosen your grip, I'm like, oof, yes. Or if they're, like, more tongue, I'm like, yeah. I get kind of offended because I know I'm good at it. So, like, if somebody's giving me criticism. But people are just different. It's different. I don't have to do all of that. But personally, I don't like giving instruction to men. Like, that doesn't turn me on. I want instructions prior. Like, that's dirty talk for me. I get, like, really turned on, like, telling me what you like. Even over dinner. Like, not even in the bedroom. Like, talk to me over a cocktail. Like, tell me what you like. I think it's really hot. If a guy does say, oh, can you, like, loosen your grip or tighten your grip, whatever, during, I'm not going to be upset about it. But I definitely would. I wouldn't want someone to tell me what to do. I want them to tell me. I'd either do the opposite or I'd be like, and you're done. You've lost Tara privileges. You've lost the community. Get on your knees and crawl out of here. Oh, daddy. Jesus Christ. The rats get so wound up when I'm being Dami on here. So strange. They both kind of like... get into attention because normally we dom you in like conversations this is so true sounds true because her real life is much more submissive yeah I have a very submissive personal life so when you come out with who you are sexually it's my time to shine I will say I think I hear what you're saying and I agree to some extent like I do like the guidance but I don't like it verbally like I'd rather you just take my hand more like you know what I mean just show me what you want right because then I can perform it right how do we feel about getting the ball I do ball play. I slurp on them. The slurping. Stop saying slurp. You said slurp-a-derp. Slurp-a-derp. I don't like any of it. I derp on them balls. Yeah, when you're doing the holding of the penis and licking it, you can work your way down to the balls and suck on it while you're jerking them off. A couple in the mouth. Get a couple of them in there. If you suck on it, they like that, like a little hard. What about a licking of the taint? Do you lick the taint, sister? I don't like the taint. They like it. I said lick. Oh, lick. Did she? Yes, I said, do you lick the tank? Do we have a tank? Do I have a taint? Do women? Yeah. It's a smaller space. It was more just like a clarifying question because between lick and like I'm certain men have licked my taint missing all together my clit and lips. Do I lick the taint? Not necessarily. I don't really lick the taint but I do when I suck the balls or like have them in my mouth I'm like reaching the tongue back there. What position are you in for that? Knees. On my knees. No I don't do that. For my position we didn't really talk about positions. I'm typically starting out laying on my tummy with my knees bent and like twisted like kicking my feet back and forth. Guys think it's cute because it's girly. That's literally the reason I didn't get the tattoo on the bottom of my foot. I'm not joking. I don't think the listener knows what tattoo you want on the bottom of your foot. Listen I wanted to get the word corpse on the bottom of my foot so that when I sleep people think I might be dead but I didn't want guys to see it while I blow them. They can't read while they're getting blown. It's fine. I I thought it would be distracting. That's a lot of work, though, to flip your feet. Yeah, you know, that's when you're taking breaks, too. If your mouth gets tired, you can, like, come up, work on the tip and, like, kick your feet back and forth. Let's do a quick rapid fire of some positions for blowies the rats might not have heard of. My favorite, man missionary. And then you got ball play. Then you lick from shaft to tip. You have everything exposed at once. So man missionary, meaning they're on their back. I'm on my knees in front of them. You're asked. Yeah. They're very exposed. It's a playground. It's a playground. Have y'all ever blown backwards from behind? Ooh. What? Like they're doing, they're like bent, are they bent over? How do they make that work? Yeah. I hate that. What? Okay, can you describe it to me? I'm confused. Imagine a man standing in front of you and your front is to their back. So your chest is to their back. Okay. Then you're like, They bend over. You get on your knees. They tuck the dick. They bring the dick down a little bit. Whoa. No. I've never done that. Why would they want that? Do they like that? It's just a different angle. It's kind of like how we talk about that curved dick. There's a really good position for curved dicks and there's really bad positions for curved dicks. It's similar to that. So if they have a really significant downward curve,

SPEAKER_00:

you

SPEAKER_01:

can get in there. Rad. But you have to be comfortable with some ass stuff. Like obviously the ass is in your face. Your face is going to be right in the ass. I said to rapid fire some positions. I'm sorry. My favorite blowjob position is... For the listener, that's not my favorite. I was just saying there's an option. My favorite, and it's because it's the best for my pleasure, is me on my back, so regular missionary. She's just sleeping, listener. My head... Not conscious is my favorite. No. My head is resting against a headboard, so it's tilted. So bad for your neck.

UNKNOWN:

The man...

SPEAKER_01:

The man is on his knees straddling my neck slash tit area and fucking my face. That way my vagina clit is so exposed and open I can use my vibrator. It's about 69 though. I don't really like 69. I hate 69. Does anyone like 69? You know what's the worst? Okay, so when I was not very sexually active with my boyfriend at the time, Ohio, we had a very long dry spell, but he would trick me into some oral sex occasion by starting he'd go down on me and then he'd do a quick flip so I'm on my back so it's the upside down 69. And he's just dangling it. So his dick is just dangling near my face hoping that I'll like take a bite. I feel like the only way a man could trap me into blowing him unwillingly would be if he had like a donut wrapped around it or something. Face to face that bitch I mean. I would be like Krispy Kreme on that bitch. I would face to face. I would face to face if there was a little treat at the end.

UNKNOWN:

Right?

SPEAKER_01:

All right, listener, I'd want to hear from you. Rats, how did you feel about that backwards dick sucky? I don't feel good about it. All the men are either 50% or 50% have a raging voter thinking about this. Rock hard. Let us know which one you are, rats. We'll see you next week for our last episode of June. And we're doing gauges. As always, thanks for listening. If you're interested in even more bad advice, scurry on over to Instagram and TikTok at BadAdviceOnlyNYC. We're begging you, download and rate the show and leave us a review. Talk to you next Monday. Stay tuned, Rats.