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Lifestyle Strength
We discuss ideas, principles, and tactics that help people improve their position in life. With a background in fitness, Lucas strives to empower others by sharing amazing stories of challenge, transformation, and growth.
Lifestyle Strength
Overcoming Doubts and Building Strength
Imagine the resilience needed to turn a challenging pregnancy and a spinal cord injury into a story of triumph. At nearly 33 weeks pregnant, I share my journey—one marked by medical doubts, rigorous physical therapy, and a relentless spirit. You'll hear about the grueling moments of self-doubt and the critical, often overlooked, role that persistence played in achieving a safe and healthy pregnancy. This episode is a testament to how small but consistent efforts and the power of encouragement can lead to extraordinary accomplishments.
We'll also discuss the indispensable role of support systems and why setting clear boundaries in relationships is crucial for personal growth. Drawing from analogies like being stuck in a trench and the concept of good and bad fruit, we shed light on the necessity of actively working to improve our circumstances. Tune in to hear a heartfelt story about breaking free from toxic relationships and how investing in those who uplift us can change our lives. Plus, we challenge the myth that prioritizing health and fitness is selfish, showing instead how it fosters well-being and community strength. Join us as we explore what it truly means to persevere and grow.
Support Ariel by booking a massage:
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Well, hey, lucas, what's up?
Speaker 2:It's good, things are good. How are you in your pregnant state?
Speaker 1:I'm almost 33 weeks and I feel pregnant. I'm pretty sure that's what a lot of people say around the end, but I figure today's a good topic to discuss. I've foreseen benefits of putting in the work, because that's kind of where I'm at.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Throughout this whole thing I've actually had and this whole thing, guys, being my pregnancy, I have had, you know, my high-risk doctor just kind of casually go. Oh, despite your spinal cord injury, despite X, y, z, he goes. You have set yourself up for success to be in this moment to carry a baby and to carry a baby well and to be safe for both you and your baby. And it's not the first time I have heard that throughout my injury journey and throughout my health, wellness, fitness journey. And I think sometimes, when you're in the moment like if you had asked me five years ago when my injury happened, right, like oh yeah, so eventually what you're doing now, the stuff that you're struggling with, is gonna reap this kind of reward, I probably would have laughed at you because I was like in the trenches and isn't that kind of how life can be. Sometimes, especially when we're trying to better ourselves, we feel like this is the only moment, like we're in the trenches of it and we don't never gonna get better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we don't never gonna get better, yeah, and we don't know, we don't, we don't see the, the benefits that that are gonna come of it. Like if you had said, uh, five years ago, you know, when my injury happened, like, oh well, you're gonna have a kid someday, I probably would have laughed at you because they they kind of told me like, hey, you're probably not gonna have kids or if you do, uh, it can be pretty dangerous.
Speaker 1:that's what I was told, you know.
Speaker 1:And so I just kind of wrote it off in my mind like I'm not gonna be carrying babies physically, um, and then to be in a place where I show up in my first trimester and my high-risk doctor is like, yeah, like you've set yourself up for success here. Or each time I get to go do a bucket list thing, it's like, yeah, you've set yourself up for success to be able to get to go parasailing despite your injury and some people perceive, I think, my injury as something that my body like naturally healed from. But there was a lot of pt and you can attest to this because you did my programming, a lot of working out, a lot of strength work, a lot of good days and bad days. One day that comes to mind, by the way, is the day I already felt fatigued, I think, and I was already frustrated. I was in the gym and you were working with fatigued, I think, and I was already frustrated, and I was in the gym and you were working with somebody else and I fell, remember.
Speaker 1:I fell with that barbell and I remember I just like wanted to have a pity party and just like lay there, I remember, and you came over and you were like no, no, no, let's get up, let's get up, let's get up, you're good, let's keep going. And I was like, but I knew, I knew I was tired, I knew I was gonna have a fall, like I just knew today was gonna be like this, like I knew it, you know, and you were just like no, okay, let's get back to work you remember that very little sympathy.
Speaker 1:It may seem like I have a little sympathy yeah that was not the intent yeah, and I don't think that was the intent and I think it was great that you were there giving that perspective, because I was already psychologically in the trenches and so when that physical thing happened and validated where I was mentally feeling, I just wanted to sit there and cry and I know everybody else was seeing me and you just came over and you just acted like it was no big deal and you were like okay, like get to work, like let's do this, and I don't know if I knew how to process that, to be honest, but I got to work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I mean I think that's. You said several things through that whole spiel. You just went through that like I want to touch on, because the first being is that you heard that phrase like you're, you've been set up for success.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You've been set up for success and you're at this point now.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm that we all experience as humans, where we have these goals and these successes that we're aiming for and we think that they're going to happen in accordance to a time, some random time frame that we set, or some plan that we've formulated or that we've had somebody else formulate, or that we build it up in our minds to achieve these things, when the reality is is that you know they're they're just moments, and some, a lot of times those things don't even really mean anything.
Speaker 2:Then if they just there's, there's random, yeah things that we've decided are important to us, yep, yep. And the reality is that the thing that's most important is that willingness to set yourself up for success. And so then that makes me come to the second point is when you said, you know, you were mentally feeling, you know, in the in the hole of it, and then you had something that physically made you feel even more down. Yep, it's so easy just to slip into that pity party for yourself and to think that, well, I'm never going to achieve this thing. I've been working on it and it's never going to happen, it's never going to come to fruition, I'm never going to be where I want to be, and that feeling that sucks. And I'm never going to be where I want to be, and that feeling that sucks.
Speaker 2:But the reality is that the only moment you're ever in is setting up for the next success, because that's what we focus on. We focus on problems and then trying to find those solutions. And when we found those solutions, unfortunately there's just more problems on the other end, and the difference is that we just have a little bit more experience and we're a little bit more prepared, and so being set up for success is kind of success in and of itself. Yeah, you getting back up and saying you know what? Like, mentally I'm in the gutter, physically I just got put in the gutter, but now I can physically bring myself up out of the gutter yeah and then that will give me the momentum to.
Speaker 2:May not happen by the end of the day, but it may not happen by the end of the week, right. But now we started the process of setting up for success to get you mentally back to where you need to be so that you can actually go live life right, right and in a, you know, in a functioning way, in a progressive way yeah, it's interesting too because I um, I and tell my clients this and it's only because I've experienced it in, like the injury portion of like live.
Speaker 1:I call it living in pain and I and I experienced it in like a very tangible like when you're physically in pain, uh, sometimes you can like live in it and you were like what does that mean?
Speaker 1:Because if you have chronic pain, then obviously you're gonna live in it because it exists at all times. But I mean it from a mental standpoint of like when you are in the trenches and you decide not to leave the trenches and I know we've all been there, right, well, that that you say the pity part but like, it's like where we know we are living in it and we are choosing not to actively remove ourselves from it. And sometimes I have to have that conversation with clients because it's like we gotta get you out of that before we can even get some momentum to get you in a place where you're like, yeah, okay, let's talk about our goals, let's talk about why I showed up to see you today, ariel, you know what I mean. Otherwise, they're just going to live in that space and that pain the whole time. They're on my table and a lot of times it ends up being less productive that service that I provided for them.
Speaker 2:Just reinforces that they can stay in that, yes, exactly exactly.
Speaker 1:And the other thing that I was thinking about when you were talking was just like when I was down mentally and then it physically compounded and you came over and you were like, oh no, let's get back up is support system. And you know, I had a baby shower this weekend and something that really occurred to me and whether I experienced it in the gym with you or in this baby shower setting, is again the unforeseen rewards of our work, because I have surrounded myself with people that my little boy is going to get to have in his life. Like it is so profound to think about that that I have surrounded myself with such amazing support and encouragement and my boy's gonna reap the rewards. Like, how beautiful is that? And I would have never thought, you know, I would have never in a million years been like I'm going to have a little boy and he is already so loved by people.
Speaker 1:He is already so supported and so encouraged and people talk to him and they have so many questions and they just want to to.
Speaker 1:It's like they want to know his routine in my belly right now, you know, like they're just, they're so invested, you know, and and that's I think that's another component of those unforeseen rewards, even outside of like, um, when we talk about health, wellness and fitness, because if we're talking about your lifestyle, that includes those relationships too. Right, yeah, it's so that when we do fall in the trenches like I was in the physical realm, in the gym, or I'm in a position where I need support more now than ever and all these years have cultivated to this moment but, like you had said you, it's not like you knew, right? Yeah, you know you didn't know this moment was gonna come and the xyz steps were gonna take place and that you would be here, right, but look how rewarding and how beautiful that is, and only because of the work, absolutely you, that you've you've experienced, yes, only because of those ups and those downs and those willingness, those times, to get back up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's something that we, you know, when we start something and have that kind of grandiose idea of you know, I'm a person, I'm full of ideas all the time and so I get really excited about a lot of things he really does guys.
Speaker 2:But I recognize that, like, only if maybe a very small percentage are actually worth pursuing, right, and then, when it's time to pursue them, like it's time to pursue them, you have to do it. Yeah, um, you have to start that uncomfortable grind that you're not going to know anything, there's going to be a lot of unknowns, and you're going to fall down plenty of times. Yeah, and you're doing it with the motivation of achieving this thing. But then, after you've done it long enough and you've started to see some of those successes come to fruition, you realize that the whole reason you're doing it is because you've discovered these other things. Like, it doesn't mean that the other big goal might still exist, right, but you figure out that if it's worth continuing to do and you still haven't hit the thing, yeah. Then you've already made up your mind about what motivates you, right, even if you don't know what it is right.
Speaker 2:So an example you know would be that person who is constantly trying to lose that last, like like 10 pounds. You know, and though it may be frustrating that the skill doesn't move, you continue to go because you just feel so much better when you go. Yeah, because you've made so many friends at the gym and you've learned so much and that you know one day you might meet that person in the gym that has that thing that just clicks with you so that, like that weight comes off. Yeah, and when we don't think we we ever really logically talk about this yeah, like, yeah, all the side pieces, we just experience them oh, yeah, yeah, we just experience it, and then that is how we fall into routine.
Speaker 2:Is that we? We somewhat consciously, but I'd say probably more so unconsciously start to feel the benefits, yeah, of things we didn't expect to happen?
Speaker 1:yeah, well, and then that's that trickle effect that leads to like where that person is today, right, and then you know one of the other aspects of that you haven't lost that 10 pounds, but maybe you are losing in the waist, your clothes are fitting differently, you have more confidence and not only meeting certain people in the gym, but now you are forming a new support system around you, around something that is probably very sensitive to you and makes you feel very vulnerable, like I'm trying to lose this weight, I'm not being able to lose this weight, and then there's people around you that are so supportive of that in this new environment that you're putting yourself in and ultimately, whether you do or you do not, lose that weight, you've already gained so much. Yeah, right, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that's the you know. You had mentioned that support system already once and just to stick with, like the analogy of the trench yeah.
Speaker 2:You know and how maybe that person that is stuck in that pity party or stuck in that pain is voluntarily staying there and can't figure out why they're not getting lifted out.
Speaker 2:And I think that's a really important thing to know is that you know. That's why support systems are so important in helping you to see those benefits, because there's not, there's not one person that's going to come along and be able just to pull you out entirely, right, right, like you've got to be willing to. It's going to take you. You've got to be willing to like claw your way up, yeah, and they can give you a hand, but they're also trying not to fall in their hole. Right there, they got a trench. They're trying not to fall in right, and it's so much easier for you to pull them down. You know, if you're in that trench, it's so much easier, like physically. It is, yes, mechanically easier, yes, but also from a you know, a analogy standpoint, it's easier to pull that person in if you're just dead weight, if you're not actively trying to do anything, and more than likely that person's just going to let go yeah they're, they're not going to let you pull them in.
Speaker 2:if they're, if they're strong-willed, so it's not them trying to do you wrong. Right, it's not them, you know, trying to push you back down if they're strong-willed, so it's not them trying to do you wrong. It's not them trying to push you back down. They're just also looking out for their own self and their own journey and they recognize that for them to improve, they're going to have to stay strong for the people that are closest around them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely yeah, you know. It's funny that you say that because I've been talking a lot about the good fruit bad fruit analogy and we forget as much as we can sometimes come into a place of like okay, I've accomplished it, I've done it, let me share it with everybody else, and then you might realize that dead weight or that bad fruit, your, your thought process is okay, if I'm a good fruit, I'm going to impact this bad fruit. But if you put good fruit with bad fruit, bad fruit always turns good fruit always. But, like you're saying, this good fruit, this person could take an active stance and say you know what? I don't want to fall in the trenches with you and I want to be able to provide myself with that support system I have already built with the people that are here, um, and I have a prime example.
Speaker 1:I um had an individual come to my baby shower that hadn't really spoken to me much since I got pregnant and it was my closest friend, so, right, that was like my support system, and sometimes things happen in life. It happened with my injury, it's happening now. This is what I say is you know what happens to you and your shit? How people respond is not your responsibility, okay, and for months I just felt a little bit abandoned by her and then, all of a sudden she decided to show up and I was like, okay, you showed up. And then she was like, yeah, I know I owe you an apology, but I've just been going through a lot and and I thought, sister, so have I, and I've done it alone Because you stepped out right and I had to take an active stance that day to be like I can't indulge.
Speaker 1:This relationship that's no longer serving either of us and I need to invest in the people who have showed up, that I've built that with, who have stayed during the situation and in that support system. So basically, I was just saying, listen, I'm not in a place and and maybe it just might even just be for my son's sake of me saying I'm not in a place, that I'm going to fall back in the trenches with you. You, right, and when I needed you, you weren't there. And now you're coming back and you're saying, okay, well, I'm going through some things and I'm just like sometimes we have to be in a place where we can say, unfortunately, I can't provide you what you need in that relationship.
Speaker 1:Right need in that relationship, right, but I love that you mentioned, because sometimes we just hear these analogies of like, okay, well then we don't need to be around that person or we don't need that relationship, but we're never really talking about what does it actively look like to address it for yourself and what does it look like to be respectful and just say I have to take a separation from that. And what do we do with that? We reinvest into the support system that is there.
Speaker 2:Right, and that, arguably, is the most unforeseen benefit. Yeah, it's got to be Because nobody says what I'd say. Not nobody, but very few people that I've ever heard who start like a fitness journey. They're like I just want to go to the gym to make some friends.
Speaker 2:Right, nobody says that People go to like class because they want to be around like-minded people, which is, like I think, one of the more promoted benefits of like class fitness, right, benefits of like class fitness, right.
Speaker 2:Um, but in and of itself, health is seen as taking care of our body, our mind, our emotion, and so it's. It seems like a very selfish thing, which is why I think most people let it go to the wayside, right, it's because they're battling. When I say battling, they're juggling their families, their career, their church, their hobbies, and all these things that they can share that innately have communities built around them, because they involve other people directly, right. Involve other people directly, right. Versus, your health is so misconstrued to be focused on you, right. When, though, it is a physical thing for your body, it is how you improve those other relationships, how you improve those other cultures, because if you are your strongest physically, mentally, emotionally then you're going to be able to be the strongest for your family yes, absolutely for the people that you go to church with, for the people that you care about, and it's a direct circle, like it just loops back.
Speaker 2:It is reinforced it and so like. So maybe to come full, full circle. You know, you can imagine that if we're all kind of fighting between we're walking the line, try not to fall into our trench yeah, right, and it is a physical hole. You have to. I think you have to imagine it as a physical hole that you have to be physically strong to climb out of, because if you can do that, then when you see other little problems in your life, it's just going to be like okay, well, I just climbed out of this eight foot hole, right, well, I just climbed out of this eight foot hole. Like, I think I can deal with this, right.
Speaker 2:So if you imagine that you have all these people who are experienced in climbing out of their hole right, they're not living in anymore, they know what it's like to climb out of it and they're all around you all the time, every day, every week, and you start to teeter off and you're saying, oh, I'm like really falling off, but they're going, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, yeah, hold on, don't do that. Yeah, how hard would you have to try to fall back into the hole, right? Yeah, more people that you have, you get pro person line shoulder to shoulder around your hole and you start to fall back in. They're not going to let you. Yeah, because they're good people. Isn't that beautiful? It's such a benefit that nobody talks about yeah, and that means that, though you haven't gotten to that end point yet, that goal keeps you from falling off the bandwagon, as I hear every day.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, man. I'm happy we talked about this topic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a good one.
Speaker 1:And it's so. It applies to anything in life. You know what I mean and at the end of the day, it's all about that lifestyle and what we're trying to promote here.
Speaker 2:Right, I think it just starts. You know, it starts with your wellness, it starts with your fitness. If you don't know where to start, like, start there right, absolutely yeah um, if you haven't before, we haven't asked on podcasts very often. Yeah, follow us on instagram yeah, we just at mr hide life, you can find ariel at her competitors edge or the personal one oh my, my goodness, my personal.
Speaker 1:You can be Ariel McPherson. You can go, follow me.
Speaker 2:Mine are one and the same, and then we will have a Lifestyle String channel that you'll probably be seeing this video on yeah, quite soon, quite soon, yeah. Thanks for listening everybody. Yeah, and we'll see you next one Peace.
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