Avoidance. Patience. Uncertainty. | ep. 104

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SPEAKER_00 0:03

Beautiful people, what is good? I hope everybody is having a great ending of the summer moving into fall. You know, I'm still getting my feet settled in Florida. It's been definitely an adjustment, you know, a new environment, which is one of the things I want to talk about. But yeah, just getting adjusted, and obviously, with adjustments come shifting things and moving things around, including the podcast. Obviously, I'm I'm with my mom right now, and we're in the process of moving into a new spot. So as we go through all that, uh, I'm adjusting how I do the podcast. So right now I'm actually in my car on a little night drive. I got my little DJI camera, I got my mic on, and we're just gonna chop it up about some things that have been on my heart since moving. The biggest thing that I've I've realized moving to a new environment is you cannot outrun yourself. Like you cannot outrun yourself. Now, before I get into that, I do want to say if you have the opportunity to move into a new environment, leave an old environment, step into you know a new chapter, you should 100% do it because there's so many benefits to stepping into a new environment that you've never been to before, you don't have any mental or emotional connections. I've mentioned this in previous episodes, so this is nothing new, but with that as well, moving to a new environment will also show you that there are certain things that if you don't face within yourself, they will follow you and start to seep into certain areas of your life and kind of start to cloud certain things if you're not careful. And I think sometimes we could be very eager to get away from certain environments or certain places simply because we don't want to face the things that those environments are bringing up within ourselves. And it may seem like certain things are gone when you move to a new environment, but they will find a way to come back if you don't, you know, really deal with them. And so that's what's brought me to this idea that you really can't outrun yourself. Like I was thinking about it, like the the one person that you are always gonna be with 24-7, 365, for the rest of your life until you transition off this earth is yourself. And I think a lot of times we grow up in a society where we become so conditioned to avoiding certain things that are uncomfortable within ourselves, and the longer you avoid it, the bigger and stronger it becomes. They start to feel like these monsters that are, you know, chasing us, or you know, these roars that sound like they're coming from a lion. So because of that, we're so afraid of them and we avoid them and we have the wrong perception of them. But the crazy thing about it is the things that we're avoiding, they sound like lions, but when you turn around, they're really just little kittens, you know, like and that's the importance of just stopping and turning around. Like the things you are running from within yourself, whatever that may be, everybody has their own battles and things that they're facing. But just stop and turn around. And yes, it's uncomfortable, yes, it's difficult at first, but there is no way out of it, but through it. You have to be willing to go through it, you have to be willing to sit with the parts of you that you're incredibly afraid of or ashamed of or insecure about or have been avoiding for so long. You know, the emotions, the thoughts, the things that you keep going to. We have to figure out the underlying route, and we have to be willing to sit with that route, even when it's uncomfortable. You know, so being in a new environment, it's exposed those things within me, like leaving New York, and I do feel like I fell into that a little bit of just like saying, like, oh man, like you know, I just need a new environment and I'm not gonna do these things anymore. But there is some truth to that because, like, like I said, when you go into a new environment, it's a clean slate, so you can really kind of lay the foundation of who you want to be, but at the same time, things don't just disappear. You know what I mean? Like, things don't just disappear, and even if you stop certain habits, if you don't get to the root of why you were going to those habits, it's gonna express itself in a different way in that new environment, and that's what we see a lot with like cycles. Like, sometimes people get involved in the same type of relationships with different people, it just looks different, right? Because of different relationships and a different person and stuff, but you're still like attracting the same cycles, and it kind of goes to the point of like you can't outrun yourself, you have to be willing to deal with the things and then you know shift. And the beautiful thing about it is these things that you're afraid of and these things that you're avoiding, they're actually the things that will lead you to the deepest sense of connection with yourself. Like it's so crazy. Like, when you shift your perspective on the things that you're avoiding and you view them as gateways and opportunities to develop a healthier connection and relationship with yourself, it's gonna change the way you you know navigate those things when they come up. Like, you're gonna start looking at them a little different. And I really think that's the first step to really shifting those areas, whatever those areas are habits, thoughts, emotions, people, whatever. When you start just looking at these things differently, right? I'm not saying fix anything, you just start looking at them differently. Just that in itself is gonna make you like start thinking differently about these things. When you start thinking differently about these things, you're gonna be like, hold on, like, you know, maybe this isn't something I should be running from. Maybe this is something I could actually lean it, lean into. Like, let me actually see what's on the other end of this emotion. Let me see what's on the other end of this thought. Let me see what's on the other end of this thing that I've been avoiding, right? Let me see what's on the other end of this conversation that I've been unwilling to have. So I think, I think just understanding, getting back to the the point, like you cannot outrun yourself. Yeah, you cannot outrun yourself. And then I think the second thing I wanted to talk about is just the importance of patience. Like, we live in a society that glamorizes quick fixes or quick solutions. You know, follow this four-step protocol and your life will change. Start posting on social media and everything can change overnight. And it's like we really gotta take a step back and really ask ourselves: do you really believe something that is truly worthwhile would happen fast? Right? Like, think about, right? If you think about um the greatest structures in the world, right? The greatest like buildings and and uh you know, architecture and things that have been created, like the things that are still standing today, those were things that took years and years, hundreds and sometimes even like many of hundreds of years to build. So when we think of when we think of our visions, when we think of the things that we really want to do that actually are worthwhile, we have to really go into the mindset of being committed to putting in a very long amount of time into something so that when things do come to fruition, the foundation of that thing and you is built in a way that can stand the test of time. But a lot of times we don't give ourselves enough time to see things through. I've talked about this, but like we're not patient with our journey, we're not patient with our vision, you know, and we want things now. And we have to really remember that the reason that things take time is not only for the thing to develop, but also for you to develop. Like that is the most important thing that needs to be developed on the journey, is you, right? Yes, the the vision, the plans, the goals, and all that stuff, yeah, they take time to develop, but the most important thing that needs to develop is you. And if you're not willing to give yourself that time and be patient with your journey, then you're going to be skipping over so much needed and necessary development. And because you're skipping over those vital parts, it's what leads to things not working out long term, to not really createing sustainability when it comes to a vision or a goal, not even focusing on the right things because we're only focused on things that we can get right now. Things that we can get in the next year. And it's like, yo, you have to really like go into the mindset of I'm committing years, five, six, seven, eight, nine decades to this thing to see it through. Some of the greatest people that I look up to, right? When I got into the content, when I wanted to start a podcast, when I wanted to really pursue a vision of you know growing a brand and being successful in certain areas, I started looking up to all these people that inspired me and every single person that I looked up to. All of them, it took five, 10, 15 years for them to get to that point. And it was always something that I reminded myself of when I was in moments of my journey where I was like, I need things to happen now, or why are things not happening so fast? And I'm like, hold on, bro. Like, you you've been doing it for two years, three years. Like, hold on. I just had this conversation with myself the other day. It's like, hold on, bro, it's been four years. Like, yes, that is a long time, but at the same time, bro, you have to really give this thing time to develop, and you still have so much development. Like, that's another thing I was thinking of. Like, if I've got if I got things when I actually wanted to get things on my journey, it probably would have destroyed me more than helped me. And that's just me being completely real with myself. Like, there were certain, there were so many times along my journey where I was exposed to how pre-how underdeveloped certain areas of my life were that I thought were completely fine. And in those moments, it showed me like, hold on, bro. Like, I didn't know that I still needed to work on this area because if I would have gotten the things that I wanted, it would have been the the lack in this area, the the underdeveloped, the underdevelopment in this area that would have actually destroyed me or took me completely off of the path. Just being real. And so it's a conversation I'm always having with myself. You have to give things time, you have to be patient with yourself, and you have to be patient with the journey. When we talk about growth and healing, when people are trying to, you know, overcome old ways of being, when people are trying to let go of certain habits or certain patterns, they're not patient enough with themselves. They expect to say, okay, I'm gonna let go of this thing, or I'm gonna stop doing this thing and then be perfect from that point on. But that's just not how life works. If you aren't patient with yourself, you're gonna continue to stunt your own growth because you're not giving yourself enough time to actually see things through. And seeing things through means you're gonna mess up, you're gonna fail, you're gonna make mistakes, you're not always gonna, you know, do the right thing. But seeing it through is about continuing to show up through all of that, and so be very mindful of that and really ask yourself, what am I trying to build? Like, what is the life that I'm trying to build? And then can I truly commit to this path for a very long period of time? Because I know that it's that long period of time that's gonna allow for the development not only of the vision and goal, but the development, the development of myself. And when you're developed in certain areas, that development will carry you through so many different things. That's what character is, right? It's not about what you attain, it's about who you become. It's not about what you attain, it's about who you become. Because what you achieve and what you attain can be taken from you, but who you become can never be taken from you because that is your character. It is in you, it's not outside of you, it's in you. So, yes, the first step, all right, and it all it ties in. The development and not outrunning yourself, you can't outrun yourself, they tie in, right? If you want to develop yourself, you have to be willing to stop running and face the things you need to face. And as you do that, guess what? You're gonna develop more. And as you develop more, you're gonna be able to step into more, and that's a beautiful thing. That is a beautiful thing. So be patient with your journey, right? Be patient with your journey, put your head down and work and take those steps, but be patient with the journey, take it one day at a time. Make every day the goal. That is it. Every day is the goal. I am trying to maximize the day. Am I gonna be perfect? Absolutely not. But if I keep showing up with that intention, that intention is gonna drive my direction and it's gonna carry me to places that are amazing. Real talk, it's gonna carry me to so many different opportunities and possibilities and environments, and connections, and relationships, and and locations, and countries, and states, and whatever platforms, but you got to be willing to see it through. So remind yourself of that. I cannot outrun myself. I need to be willing to sit with myself, face the things I need to face with compassion and love, right? Not from a place of self-hate or shame or condemnation or self-judgment. No, from a place of wanting to understand yourself, from a place of wanting to love yourself and want to grow the relationship with yourself. And then when I have a goal, when I have a dream, whether it's whether the goal is to be the best version of myself, I have to be willing to be patient and be willing to commit a very long amount of time to that thing to see it through, see it through the tough seasons, see it, see it through the difficult moments, see it through the uncertainty, see it through all of that. And uncertainty is a whole nother podcast in itself. I won't go too deep into that right now because I'm gonna save that, but I mean, the just the the the ability to really be okay with uncertainty. Because if you I guess we get into it, I if you are not able to really have a healthy relationship with uncertainty, it is going to be very, very difficult to grow because growth is literally going to require you to step into uncertainty. That is literally a prerequisite to growth. Because part of growth is stepping away from what's known, stepping away from the old, and stepping into something new. And when you step into something new, guess what? There's a lot of uncertainty with that. So if you aren't willing to embrace uncertainty, then it's gonna be very hard to embrace growth. And that's what really hinders a lot of people. It's their their unwillingness to sit with uncertainty. The moment they feel, the moment they have to embrace or face uncertainty, they run in the opposite direction. They cling to certainty. And a lot of people end up in the wrong situations, the wrong environments, the wrong paths simply because they are clinging onto certainty and they are not willing to step into uncertainty. But if you understood what was in that uncertainty for you, you wouldn't be so willing to run from it. But that's why we have faith because you can't see, but you have to trust. You have to trust that the reason I'm being pulled into this uncertainty is because there is something for me in it. It's not something I should fear, it's not something I should run from, it's something I should lean into. And the more I'm willing to lean into uncertainty, this is something you have to remind yourself of. The more I'm willing to lean into uncertainty, the more my capacity to grow will grow. Man, come on, man. I hope that makes sense. But uncertainty is a gift. It is not something to run from, and it's not something to fear. And here's the key to this it is okay if you have fear towards uncertainty. It is okay if you aren't comfortable with uncertainty, but it's not okay to let the discomfort or the fear make you resort and retreat away from uncertainty. That's where we get in trouble. Having fear, feeling discomfort is one thing. Allowing it to dictate your choices and actions is a totally different thing. And remember, your power lies in your ability to choose. So every single time you feel something, every single time you're faced with uncertainty, you're faced with the discomfort of something new, you have a choice in that moment. Am I gonna allow the uncertainty, the emotion, the discomfort, the difficulty to make me avoid this thing? Or am I gonna feel it, process, and still embrace what's in front of me? You have a choice. And even when you don't make the right choice, guess what? You have a choice to do. You have a choice in how you show up with yourself when you don't make the right choice. That in itself is a bar, like real talk. You have a choice when you don't make the right choice and how you choose to show up for yourself in those times. When you fail, you have a choice. When you mess up and make a mistake, you have a choice. When you don't do what you said you were gonna do, you have a choice. And your power lies in your ability to choose. So if you can always focus on, okay, what am I choosing in this moment? It will carry you so far in life. Oh, I made a mistake. Okay, what am I choosing to do in this moment now? Oh, I said I was gonna do this, but I didn't do it. Okay, what am I gonna choose to do in this moment now?

unknown 20:08

Right?

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Oh, I'm faced with uncertainty and it's really uncomfortable, and I have a lot of fear with uncertainty. But what am I gonna choose to do in this moment now? Your power lies in your ability to choose. Oh, I realize that there's a lot of things within myself that I've been avoiding, and now I'm aware of them. What am I gonna choose to do now? Oh, I have a vision, I have a goal, and it feels like it's so far away, and it's really hard for me to embrace patience, but I have a choice. So, what are you gonna choose to do now? So, yes, my brothers and sisters, that is what was on my heart this week. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode in this style and format. You know, just on a night night ride, I'm definitely gonna do more of these because it's what I have right now in Florida, you know. Don't really have the studio, don't have too much space to to set up my camera and stuff how I was back in North Carolina. So we're we're just we're taking what is, right? We're not complaining, we're not tripping, we're just gonna make the most out of what's right in front of us, right? Because we have a choice. So I'm gonna choose to make the most out of what's in front of me rather than complain about it not being what was or not being enough. So yeah, I love each and every one of you, I appreciate each and every one of you. And remember, most importantly, to take everything with a grain of salt. I will see you guys in the next episode. Deuces