Hello Happiness

What if the secret to lasting happiness isn't in the grand gestures but in the simple act of embracing it as a habit? Join me, Shaheen, as I share my personal journey through a three-day "Art of Living" course in the bustling city of Mumbai. I found peace and fleeting joy in a structured sanctuary far removed from the chaos of daily life. This experience offered me a unique perspective on the elusive nature of happiness, which seems to dissipate as soon as we re-enter our demanding routines. Let's explore how our relentless pursuit of more might be steering us away from authentic contentment, and how happiness, like all good things, can be a deeply personal and subjective experience.

Together, we'll reflect on the transformative power of acceptance and personal growth as pathways to sustainable joy. The fast-paced world won't slow down for us, but we can choose to adapt and cultivate happiness as a constant, habitual companion. In this exploration, I hope to inspire you to integrate kindness and joy into your daily life. Let's share our stories and insights, using social media as a platform to connect and support one another in our quest for fulfillment and lasting joy. Let happiness become more than a fleeting moment—let it be the soundtrack to your everyday life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Exploring the Meaning of Happiness
• 12:52 Embracing Happiness as a Habit

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

If I ask any one of you what is happiness, you will come up with a unique answer. No two answers will be same. In most likelihood, it's because happiness is multifaceted and each one of us experiences it differently and, at the end of the day, we are just trying to find the same thing. This is a parody of our lives, isn't it? Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the fourth episode of Discover with Shaheen. This time, let's talk about what happiness means to all of us, and do not be shocked when I tell you that I did find happiness, but I lost it in no time. The story goes like this Few months back, I did a course of art of living.

Speaker 1: 0:53

It was a three day in-house course. Basically, a husband and a wife run this workshop in a bungalow in distant suburbs in Mumbai. The course is beautifully designed, wherein you meditate, eat basic food basic food means no junk food allowed do good team building activities, listen to moral stories and you are far away from your family, friends and gadgets. Gadgets means most likely mobile phones, and you are not supposed to talk unless required of you. Oh my god, that was so unlikely of me. I felt as if I'm unlearning myself, but that's the way the course is designed. It cuts you off from the world.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Okay now, my first day was actually bad. I couldn't align myself, you know, to the day's proceedings because I never, I never have lived my life by a rule book. You know, I have my own rules. But over here your day is packed with the schedule which the designer I mean the course, uh, this thing mentor has done it for you, so we have to follow that. You wake up early in the morning, you exercise, you pray, you do some activities and this is how the day shapes up for you. First day was bad, tough on me, but second day got better and I started finding inner peace and joy. No pollution of lies, hatred, gossiping you know I'm talking about general human beings. Everything was away from me and the course got over and I went home with a feeling of discovering a new bit of me. I went home and I shared this experience with my family and I went off to sleep.

Speaker 1: 2:31

Next day. I slowly started to become the same Shaheen. I mean, I felt I was coming back to the daily grind. Daily grind in the sense routine, stress, hectic work, personal situations and everything which we human beings face. I was thinking whatever I had learnt in the workshop, why am I not able to integrate it in my life, I was wondering. The experiences were powerful and satisfying in themselves, but then what went wrong? And in few days I got an answer to this question Ta-da, I realized, you know, when we do such courses, the environment is sanitized, everything is staged to make you feel good, but the real world is quite different.

Speaker 1: 3:17

See, when we do the course, we are packed in a room or an auditorium or an amphitheater or a conference room where happiness mantras are bestowed upon us and people are talking about techniques, strategies and the good deeds that we do, you know, to make us ourselves happy and we feel, wow, this is it. These are momentary solutions, you know, because, see, everyone present at the workshop is empathetic towards each other. They have come with a mindset to be happy and to cut away from the routine grinds. Ok, and we are in those moments during the workshop. We forget our work, our pressures, our family for that time. But you know, I mean, that's the way it is. And even in my workshop, everybody was kind, helpful, sensitive toward each other. But after the workshop got over, everybody went back to their respective worlds where they wouldn't find same people which they found in their workshop.

Speaker 1: 4:15

Now, a million dollar question is can we expect the world to be exactly like the ones which we find in the workshop? No, certainly not. Who has a time to be that caring and then sensitive? Now, with this, I mean, I don't mean that we are a bad bunch of people. It's just that we generally are so packed in our schedules and in our lives that we don't have time generally for caring and being sensitive Because we have our jobs, then we have so many obligations to fulfill our family desires, our aspirations, and days are just passing. Yes, we do get time on weekends. That time we meet our family and friends and we are happy.

Speaker 1: 4:57

Otherwise, like everybody has, we are moving at a fast pace, and this is my thing. Actually. You may think differently and that's perfectly all right, okay, and I personally feel each one of us has a different formula or a fair understanding towards happiness. For some, I have some friends. They become very happy when they get a latest gadget, an iPhone, or if they have a sports car or they have got a sea-facing apartment in a churny area, they feel very happy. But all this seems to me very short-lived, because human beings are never satisfied with the things they have. If you have an iPhone 13 or a sports car or an apartment, you want to upgrade yourself right to the better, I mean to a better version of whatever you have. So there is always an urge to have better and best of things. The story continues, it doesn't stop over here, and this is where happiness starts distancing from you.

Speaker 1: 5:57

Okay, now, after we're talking about objects, now what about emotions? Emotions are a very strong way to connect with people and create mental balance for us. See, we all have emotions, you know, towards our family, our friends, our loved ones, and it is ultimate joy. And God forbid if there is a quarrel or some indifference, or it is really ugly. You lose people you love, you become sad because you are not able to patch up with that person, and that depression sinks in. You know it just gets to you and you become sad. So happiness is again at bay. Emotions control us. It's because, emotionally, we are invested in our coterie and we are disturbed when things are not in accordance to our beliefs. We always want our close ones to understand us. Sometimes, maybe, we don't try to understand them. It happens. And so we talked about objects and emotions.

Speaker 1: 6:56

Now there must be a few people who find joy in everything. Little bit of joy, I mean. I mean everything. If they have got a small bike or a scooter, they feel happy, a small house or anything going out that makes them happy. But again, there's a catch here. Everything, every aspiration, is on a growth curve and the side effect is diminishing happiness. Agree or not, but these are standard jargons in our blissful worlds and which is why we are always in pursuit of something that connects us to our souls, and this is why there is a flurry of happiness, mentors and counselors who try to make us happy and take us away from our depressed state of self.

Speaker 1: 7:45

Now, it's not me or you alone who's seeking ultimate happiness, and at all times, greatest of great kings have left their kingdoms in a bid to find inner peace. A very good example of this is Prince Siddhartha, who later became Gautam Buddha, after he was known to be the enlightened one. You know he renounced every joy, every happiness, everything to attain inner peace. And even today, his preachings, his studies and everything is so good. He says you have to train your minds to be in present moments and we must not dwell in past or future. That is very crucial for our wellness. Actually, we all try to do that, but somehow we get caught in the grind. We don't know what happens. We do think we are not able to control our thoughts. No, I mean for few, it is like that. Now, cutting to contemporary times, let me give you one more example of our times.

Speaker 1: 8:43

I know I saw this speech of mr ravi venatesan. He's the ex-chairman of Cummins India and he is a venture capitalist. He was the chairman of Microsoft India and he's been on many boards of corporates and now he's also the UNICEF special representative for young people and innovation. Now he says in his speech that he realized he was in a flawed. He had this flawed concept of happiness till the age of 45. He suddenly started realizing, you know, that if I work hard, I'm successful, people will give me recognition and I'll be happy. For example, he said, in every time in school when he got good marks, teachers and parents were happy. Bad marks, people would frown at him, even at work. If there's good work, bosses are happy, bad work, you get a kick. He said I was no longer enjoying all this.

Speaker 1: 9:37

And then 10 years he studied I mean, you know, on the concept of what is happiness. He did counseling. He read books on various fates. He said how long can this? This was there in his mind, how long can I continue like this? And then he realized, after you know, spending 10 years on understanding the concept of happiness and you know about life and all that he says, he has nothing. Happiness has nothing to do with achievement and success. There are many people who have nothing but are happy. There are many who have so many things in life, but they are living a miserable life. They are miserable it's because psychologists say happiness is manufactured by the mind. It is synthetic.

Speaker 1: 10:20

The trick is to control thoughts, as I said earlier. And he says it's like we don't have to think too much about ourselves. You don't have to think too much about ourselves, you don't need to. You just have to loosen yourself, forget about yourself. Things will get easy in the mind. And it's not about this thing, you know. It's also about attitude. He said even I had this attitude. I used to feel, you know, satya nadella is the ceo of microsoft, why not me? But on second thoughts, I feel, yes, life has not been that bad for me as well. So we have to cultivate acceptance. You know, that is very important, because life has no obligation to give us what we expect. And he's so true.

Speaker 1: 11:04

He also quoted, you know, man of peace, dalai lama's, saying that happiness comes from liking what we have rather than liking what we want. So, friends, all of this, whatever I said, boils down to one factor, that is, simplicity, at least for me. You know, I am also in search of happiness. I mean, I want to be happy all the time, but it's not that easy. You know, I'm also trying to be happy, like maybe even you all want to be happy. So what I do is like very basic things. I do. I watch my favorite childhood television shows. Oh God, I laugh. I do I watch my favorite childhood television shows. Oh God, I laugh, I clap, I become happy, okay. I cook Sometimes. I like to cook and bake. Even that gives me some sense of achievement.

Speaker 1: 11:50

I do yoga because you know I had read it when you exercise, you activate happiness hormones in your body called dopamine. And this is so true. This is my personal experience. When I'm sad or very depressed or I'm feeling low, I exercise. You know, I do yoga, I do breathing techniques. I feel good, because this one is the best formula for happiness. It is inbuilt, I mean it, you know it. Just, it's so soulful to exercise and feel happy about your body and existence. So, guys, get set, go really. You must exercise every day and follow your heart.

Speaker 1: 12:25

And, to be very honest with you, I don't feel happiness is an achievement If you say I'm happy. I'm happy today. We don't know what it is, what tomorrow holds like for you, and you know let's make happiness a decision that we have to be happy. Certain things we can control. No See, I agree, times will not spare any of us, but the day we become able enough to accept whatever we are experiencing, we are winners.

Speaker 1: 12:52

You know we can't expect the situations to change for us. We have to change. We have to start experiencing, you know, start accepting things. Then we are winners and I hope we all become happy. Have our own ways of I don't know how it shapes up for you all, and trust me, as human beings, we all need to be happy and all I want to say is dear happiness, be mine and yours forever and ever. Friends, I hope you liked this episode where we felt we must make happiness a habit. Do share your feedback at discoverwithshaheen on Instagram and you can catch me at shaheenspeaks on xcom. Until then, be joyous and kind. See you all next time.