Jesus Studio
Welcome to Jesus studio podcast where we record the testimonies of personal journeys of individuals coming to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
Each episode features, a unique testimony, offering listeners, a glimpse into the transformative power of faith and the varied past that leads to a relationship with God.
Our guest recount, their experiences of encountering the divine overcoming challenges. and how their lives have been changed since embracing Christianity.
Join us as we explore the deeply personal and inspiring stories of faith, redemption and spiritual awakening that demonstrate the universal call of Christ to all whether you are a believer, seeker or simply curious, these stories resonate with hope Love and the life changing impact of no in Jesus.
Jesus Studio
I Was Deep Into the Occult...Then I Met Jesus - Carolyne's Story
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Carolyne shares one of the most remarkable testimonies we've ever recorded.
Growing up, she experienced unexplained spiritual activity, developed a fascination with the supernatural, and spent years exploring the occult in search of answers. What began as curiosity eventually led her into fear, darkness and a deep sense of emptiness.
Everything changed when she encountered Jesus.
In this powerful conversation, Carolyne shares how one life-changing encounter with Christ completely transformed her life. She opens up about freedom from fear, discovering God's love, learning to discern the spiritual realm through a biblical lens, and finding the identity she had been searching for all along.
Whether you've experienced the supernatural yourself, have questions about faith, or simply love hearing stories of lives transformed by Jesus, we pray this episode encourages you.
In this episode we discuss:
- Growing up with unexplained spiritual experiences
- Searching for answers through the occult
- The emptiness that followed
- A supernatural encounter with Jesus
- Freedom from fear and darkness
- The reality of spiritual warfare
- Identity, healing and God's unconditional love
- Walking in the peace and purpose found in Christ
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Transcript
00:00:00 Speaker 1
The friend's place that she was at was a born-again believer.
00:00:04 Speaker 1
And I'd met him a few times.
00:00:08 Speaker 1
And I walked in to see her.
00:00:11 Speaker 1
And he came up to me.
00:00:12 Speaker 1
As I walked in the door, he said, wow, what's happened to you?
00:00:18 Speaker 1
I said, I don't know, but last night, you went, you met Jesus.
00:00:23 Speaker 1
And it was like, yes, oh, as soon as he said it, I knew exactly what's happened.
00:00:29 Speaker 2
You're listening to the Jesus Studio Podcast.
00:00:31 Speaker 3
Hello everyone.
00:00:32 Speaker 3
Welcome along to another episode of the Jesus Studio Podcast.
00:00:36 Speaker 3
Today I'm here with my wife, Gem, and we have Carolyne who's going to share her story with us.
00:00:43 Speaker 3
Welcome along, Carolyne.
00:00:45 Speaker 1
Thank you.
00:00:46 Speaker 2
Thanks so much for being here.
00:00:48 Speaker 2
We're excited to hear your story.
00:00:51 Speaker 3
And when you're ready, just go for it.
00:00:53 Speaker 3
Start from the beginning and we're excited to go.
00:00:55 Speaker 1
Will do.
00:00:56 Speaker 1
Thanks, guys.
00:00:58 Speaker 1
So from the age of about, I think it's five or six, we went to live in the country.
00:01:09 Speaker 1
I was born in Bath and we went out to move into the country, which is really where I think things started to awaken for me generally in life.
00:01:22 Speaker 1
that's when you're aware of what's going on around you.
00:01:28 Speaker 1
Sadly, my mum, who just passed away at Christmas time, she got pregnant outside of marriage.
00:01:37 Speaker 1
And in those days, it was a really big thing.
00:01:41 Speaker 1
And she wasn't sure if she wanted to keep me.
00:01:45 Speaker 1
And she often used to tell, I only laugh because it was
00:01:50 Speaker 1
like weird, but she used to tell people in shops that, if you get pregnant, don't worry, you can just get rid of it and all of that.
00:01:56 Speaker 1
She said, I try to get rid of it, but I've got them now and they're great and love them and all that, which as a child, I used to hear a lot.
00:02:02 Speaker 1
And anyway, I'll tell you later, I'll go back to that a bit later on.
00:02:08 Speaker 1
But so grew up in, we moved out into the country and my parents' marriage wasn't great.
00:02:15 Speaker 1
So there was
00:02:18 Speaker 1
sort of a big gap.
00:02:19 Speaker 1
And the gap I felt really sort of impacted on the, I was desperate as a little children are.
00:02:28 Speaker 1
Who am I?
00:02:28 Speaker 1
What am I?
00:02:29 Speaker 1
What's the world about?
00:02:30 Speaker 1
Blah, blah, blah, and all those things.
00:02:31 Speaker 1
And mum, neither mum or dad could to really ever, we never even talked about those things.
00:02:39 Speaker 1
It just wasn't a thing.
00:02:42 Speaker 1
So sort of I suppose abandonment and neglect is what I would, I felt as a child.
00:02:47 Speaker 1
But they didn't abandon, we were fed and looked after and they loved us in how they loved us.
00:02:51 Speaker 1
But for me, I felt really wanting.
00:02:54 Speaker 1
And so, but the only thing that my mother did often talk about was about her mother, who she would call, you know, spiritually insighted and all this peculiar words that I didn't really understand.
00:03:12 Speaker 1
So we moved out into this house, which was a really, really old house, whereas the basic part of the house went back, dated to like 13th century, with it was an old mill and it had a wheel and everything, which is now all gone.
00:03:27 Speaker 1
And it wasn't a nice house, it was a dark house, if you know what I mean.
00:03:33 Speaker 1
So grew up from the age of 6, so I think we moved there.
00:03:38 Speaker 1
to experiencing not just sort of that neglect of who am I and what's the world all about, but activity within the house.
00:03:50 Speaker 1
And we, because my parents' marriage wasn't fantastic, they had their lives, their separate lives, which they lived.
00:03:58 Speaker 1
And we lived quite a long way out of Bath in a tiny village
00:04:02 Speaker 1
in a little valley, probably isn't now, but that's what it was like then.
00:04:06 Speaker 1
So we were like the last house on the left.
00:04:09 Speaker 1
So you didn't have a streetlight, you know, it was country lanes.
00:04:14 Speaker 1
And because my parents were living their lives separately, they were often out.
00:04:22 Speaker 1
And I think really, we were probably left alone too young for too many nights of the week, is what I would say.
00:04:35 Speaker 1
And in that time, my sister and I experienced a lot of, spiritual activity, which we didn't know the better off, but, we felt terrified sometimes.
00:04:50 Speaker 1
We had a situation once where, had a landline and the landline was downstairs.
00:04:56 Speaker 1
The phone rang and my
00:05:01 Speaker 1
Sister answered it.
00:05:04 Speaker 1
No, this is wrong.
00:05:06 Speaker 1
The phone rang downstairs.
00:05:08 Speaker 1
I answered it.
00:05:09 Speaker 1
My sister was in her bedroom in bed and she heard me answer it, but at the same time saw me at the bedroom door.
00:05:18 Speaker 1
So that's the sort of activity we saw in that house.
00:05:22 Speaker 1
I used to see a man walk past my bedroom door.
00:05:26 Speaker 1
Not every night, but often, you know.
00:05:30 Speaker 1
So what happens is, as a child, you learn to live with things as like the norm.
00:05:34 Speaker 1
But we never, we used to say we'd see these things, but my mum growing up with her mum, who had this whole, you know, I would say spiritualisty thing, which I never quite got to the bottom of, but you know, things like she could, she would have my mother say premonitions about things.
00:05:52 Speaker 1
She would know if someone died in the streets, you know, some girl so and so's just died, where it hadn't actually been pronounced yet.
00:05:57 Speaker 1
You know, she had this
00:05:59 Speaker 1
foreboding thing, I would say.
00:06:01 Speaker 1
And anyway, this house was full of this stuff.
00:06:05 Speaker 1
So my mother just sort of, related to it, like, oh, it's only, it's nothing.
00:06:10 Speaker 1
It's like, don't worry about it, you know, all this sort of thing.
00:06:13 Speaker 1
Which I wonder now later in life, if she had experienced that.
00:06:17 Speaker 1
And so as far as it was the norm, but it wasn't the norm.
00:06:20 Speaker 1
You know, I laid in bed one night, it was particularly bad.
00:06:24 Speaker 1
I actually felt the duvet lifting off me in my bedroom, which was terrifying for me as a kid.
00:06:32 Speaker 1
And I couldn't actually take a breath in.
00:06:35 Speaker 1
So I ran upstairs, my parents on the next floor, I would run up, say, I can't breathe, I can't breathe in.
00:06:39 Speaker 1
And it was a bit like, oh, you'll be all right.
00:06:41 Speaker 1
It's nothing, it's nothing.
00:06:42 Speaker 1
It's always nothing.
00:06:45 Speaker 1
So we grew up in that environment.
00:06:49 Speaker 1
knowing there was something, but obviously my sister and I talked about it amongst ourselves, and you dealt with it amongst yourselves, and you don't come up with a very good understanding of what it is, but I just knew it wasn't very nice.
00:07:03 Speaker 1
We had no...
00:07:06 Speaker 1
There was no church life, neither of my parents were Christians or believers necessarily, but they had that sort of general or innate thing that there's something, and they call it a God, but it was not defined.
00:07:21 Speaker 1
So we had all this activity, we had nothing else to gauge it against.
00:07:26 Speaker 1
And that sort of, that was, I started then
00:07:34 Speaker 1
playing around with that to some degree, thinking, well, if this thing's moving off, trying to lift off me, there's activity.
00:07:41 Speaker 1
And I was aware of spiritual activity because of what the spirit realm, of there being a spirit realm.
00:07:48 Speaker 1
And I often, as a child, we had the most beautiful views.
00:07:51 Speaker 1
I would stand at the window and gaze across this beautiful valley thinking, how...
00:07:59 Speaker 1
because of course you're taught about evolution and all that stuff in school, thinking how on earth could this be from that?
00:08:09 Speaker 1
Because it's so beautiful.
00:08:13 Speaker 1
And I would wonder, I'd stand at the window on the 1st floor and just look out across the valley thinking, wow, it's just like nuts.
00:08:19 Speaker 1
And then you've got this whole duvet thing, you know, it was a blanket in those days, I think.
00:08:24 Speaker 1
And
00:08:26 Speaker 1
So I became aware of a spiritual realm, but I couldn't place it or define it.
00:08:32 Speaker 1
So then I, on days when I think, when you get 12, 13, I don't know, things happen in your life, I don't quite know what that is.
00:08:42 Speaker 1
obviously girls become women and boys find their thing, whatever that actually is in nature.
00:08:49 Speaker 1
But I started to play around, I think probably because I felt the days would get darker.
00:08:55 Speaker 1
to like, what are you?
00:08:56 Speaker 1
What is this?
00:08:57 Speaker 1
Who are you?
00:08:58 Speaker 1
So I was speaking into that spirit thing.
00:09:01 Speaker 1
Who are you?
00:09:02 Speaker 1
Come on then, show me.
00:09:03 Speaker 1
Go on, move that there.
00:09:04 Speaker 1
See what, move that so I can see what that is.
00:09:10 Speaker 1
And I never actually saw it, but I could see it in my, what I call my mind's eye, which is in the spirit I could see it, but I couldn't see it actually in the natural.
00:09:18 Speaker 1
So I then became very aware of that.
00:09:20 Speaker 1
So anyway, that was that.
00:09:23 Speaker 1
That was my life then.
00:09:24 Speaker 1
At 15, I felt this overwhelming need to go to church.
00:09:31 Speaker 1
I mean, literally, I say, come out of nowhere, but obviously that was God going, Carolyne.
00:09:36 Speaker 1
So we had this very beautiful little church in our village.
00:09:39 Speaker 1
And for six weeks, I went there.
00:09:42 Speaker 1
Every Sunday, I would go there and I would get my book and you'd stand up and say the, I think it was the matins, and then you'd kneel on your little cushion, which was sweet.
00:09:53 Speaker 1
and then you'd say your prayers and sing your hymn and say your prayers, get back down on the cushion, back up, down, up, down.
00:09:57 Speaker 1
And I sat there and after six weeks I thought, oh, okay, God doesn't live here.
00:10:02 Speaker 1
So right, done that.
00:10:04 Speaker 1
And off I went.
00:10:06 Speaker 1
Went back to not going to church.
00:10:11 Speaker 1
So then at, so that was that.
00:10:13 Speaker 1
That's just like a little package that happened and life continued in the house.
00:10:17 Speaker 1
Obviously I'm getting older, I'm becoming more a bit intense about the whole like show yourself thing.
00:10:24 Speaker 1
At 17, I was coming back from, so to come back from Bath, the town, then you had to come on a bus, this is about 5 1/2 miles.
00:10:32 Speaker 1
It was a late night bus and I was sitting on this bus and I had a foresight of a collision with the bus and the car and everything.
00:10:43 Speaker 1
As I was looking out the window here, bus is going that direction and I had this foresight and I turned around and went, oh, oh,
00:10:52 Speaker 1
I'd seen the collision, but I hadn't felt the impact.
00:10:55 Speaker 1
So I sat on the bus thinking, God, that's really weird.
00:10:58 Speaker 1
I've just seen all of this.
00:10:59 Speaker 1
I sat there thinking, wow, that's really weird, that's really weird.
00:11:03 Speaker 1
And then lo and behold, that's exactly what happened.
00:11:05 Speaker 1
You know, further 3 minutes down the road, that collision then happened.
00:11:10 Speaker 1
It wasn't a massive collision, but it was enough to, you know,
00:11:14 Speaker 1
for me to go, what the heck?
00:11:16 Speaker 1
I had just seen all of that and then it actually did happen.
00:11:20 Speaker 1
So when I got home, I remember saying to mum, almost really weird thing happened on the bus.
00:11:27 Speaker 1
And she just, without really telling much of the story, she just went, you got your grandmother's gift.
00:11:32 Speaker 1
You got it.
00:11:33 Speaker 1
You got the same as your grandmother.
00:11:35 Speaker 1
So she goes, well, you know, something about not me being the firstborn, but something along those lines.
00:11:42 Speaker 1
Of course, I then went on to think, okay, right, great.
00:11:46 Speaker 1
And that's what I then pushed into and pressed into for the next 6, seven years.
00:11:52 Speaker 1
Was, what is that?
00:11:54 Speaker 1
What does that look like?
00:11:55 Speaker 1
I know things.
00:11:56 Speaker 1
I could pick up things around me that were going on.
00:12:00 Speaker 1
I could see motives in people, you know, all sorts of things.
00:12:04 Speaker 1
And of course, I had nothing to put that together with anything.
00:12:08 Speaker 1
It just was like all this random stuff.
00:12:12 Speaker 1
And all it does really is it just make you feel at odds because you've got, you don't, you're not particularly feeling safe.
00:12:20 Speaker 1
You're just experiencing all this peculiarity, but it also felt thrilling.
00:12:26 Speaker 1
You're sort of excited about it.
00:12:28 Speaker 1
Anyway, I moved to London when I was 20, 21, 20 I think.
00:12:33 Speaker 1
And of course, London life from the village life.
00:12:39 Speaker 1
is rock'n'roll and drinking and stuff and all those things that you did in those days.
00:12:44 Speaker 1
And on a few occasions, not so much the drinking, actually used to make me feel unwell, but cocaine and other things, is that the more I got into that, not that I took it a lot, it wasn't a big, big deal, it was on occasions, but I found an enhancement to what I was
00:13:04 Speaker 1
understanding and experiencing.
00:13:06 Speaker 1
And one particular night at a party I was at, it was not, it was in our house actually, and loads of people over.
00:13:13 Speaker 1
And we really got into that.
00:13:15 Speaker 1
And they're going, Carolyne, come on, you know, what can you see?
00:13:17 Speaker 1
And all the rest of it.
00:13:18 Speaker 1
And as she said that to me, this girl, it was like a movie screen up on the wall.
00:13:24 Speaker 1
And I saw her live just scrolling, places that she'd been at and all these things.
00:13:30 Speaker 1
And I was like, wow.
00:13:32 Speaker 1
it wasn't even that wow.
00:13:33 Speaker 1
I was just relayed to her what I could see.
00:13:38 Speaker 1
And it was her life story to that point.
00:13:41 Speaker 1
And even I thought, wow, that's amazing.
00:13:43 Speaker 1
But it felt normal because you're, you know, you're not in your natural zone.
00:13:47 Speaker 1
You're in this sort of other realm.
00:13:51 Speaker 1
So that was that.
00:13:53 Speaker 1
And
00:13:55 Speaker 1
Then over the next couple of years, it was very interesting this, but as a woman now, like a young woman, feeling like I'm walking in with a dark, in the dark side of life, I suppose you would call it, but I didn't realise that.
00:14:11 Speaker 1
I just sort of felt spiritual and like, you know, I'm so great because I can see all these things, was that you start to meet people everywhere.
00:14:19 Speaker 1
You know, I met a guy once, he was a warlock.
00:14:23 Speaker 1
and a woman who's a witch and another one who's this and another one who's that.
00:14:26 Speaker 1
They're all a bit of everything.
00:14:28 Speaker 1
And of course you spend time talking and you really want to delve into what they know so that I can know what I'm experiencing better.
00:14:39 Speaker 1
So you spend time with them, you talk, you pray, you start, not prayers, but I suppose like spell things.
00:14:47 Speaker 1
You'd like you hate people, you feel revengeful, you feel angry.
00:14:51 Speaker 1
I was not a talker in those days.
00:14:53 Speaker 1
I was very withdrawn and I didn't engage with people.
00:14:58 Speaker 1
People used to say, I think those who knew me before I got born again would say I was moody and withdrawn.
00:15:04 Speaker 1
And this is what I wanted to go back to with my mum being pregnant.
00:15:08 Speaker 1
When I was moody and withdrawn and I felt angry and I felt like I wanted to repay, you know, like having a grudge.
00:15:19 Speaker 1
get people back for things.
00:15:21 Speaker 1
That was how I started to feel A lot.
00:15:25 Speaker 1
And I now know that wasn't how I was meant to be.
00:15:30 Speaker 1
And I'll come back to that again a bit later on.
00:15:32 Speaker 1
That wasn't how I was made, but it was how I'd become because of what I was getting into.
00:15:39 Speaker 1
Then I met somebody who
00:15:43 Speaker 1
I started buying lots of books as well, all these books about the occult.
00:15:47 Speaker 1
I could do, I could do a horoscope, I could do a horoscope chart without even having to learn about it.
00:15:53 Speaker 1
I could just do it.
00:15:54 Speaker 1
I could just knew things.
00:15:57 Speaker 1
And I started to know things, but with no learning about it.
00:16:00 Speaker 1
And but having all these books, you know, I'd look into them, read a bit and think, yeah, I can do that.
00:16:06 Speaker 1
So I met somebody who said that they, this incredible, this woman used to come to London
00:16:12 Speaker 1
every three months.
00:16:13 Speaker 1
And she could speak into my, speak to me, not speak into my life, because only he does that.
00:16:19 Speaker 1
But she would speak to me and she would bring some more definition to go further, which is really the occult.
00:16:29 Speaker 1
But in those, that time, nobody called it that, but it was that.
00:16:34 Speaker 1
So I had an appointment to see this woman.
00:16:39 Speaker 1
But all the other people, and I don't even remember who they are now, but it was, felt it was important that I made this, had this thing made, which is, it's like a talisman of sorts, but it involved my blood, my hair and my saliva, I think it was, in this little thing that was sewn up, like that you would carry with you.
00:17:02 Speaker 1
So I had that made.
00:17:05 Speaker 1
And I'm now waiting
00:17:09 Speaker 1
to see this woman who was due to come and I had this appointment.
00:17:14 Speaker 1
So I'm now like 25.
00:17:18 Speaker 1
And the days got darker, the nights got really dark.
00:17:27 Speaker 1
Where I would cry myself to sleep and I didn't know why.
00:17:31 Speaker 1
I had no explanation for that.
00:17:34 Speaker 1
I just would feel sad.
00:17:36 Speaker 1
I feel like, what is the point?
00:17:39 Speaker 1
What the heck?
00:17:40 Speaker 1
you feel like you're empty.
00:17:41 Speaker 1
You feel like a being who's got nothing in you.
00:17:44 Speaker 1
It's an awful feeling.
00:17:47 Speaker 1
And I mean, that's the only explanation I can give.
00:17:51 Speaker 1
It just felt like being in a nightmare, just feeling so, empty and lost and pointless that you just, those things of like, if I wasn't here, it wouldn't matter.
00:18:03 Speaker 1
But I never contemplated that.
00:18:05 Speaker 1
But it crosses your mind.
00:18:08 Speaker 1
about what is the point of it?
00:18:10 Speaker 1
was awful.
00:18:11 Speaker 1
I can't really tell.
00:18:11 Speaker 1
It just feels like an emptiness, like you feel like you're a shell of a flesh with nothing inside of you.
00:18:17 Speaker 1
So all that spiritual stuff that was thrilling and amazing, that had no impact on this at all.
00:18:22 Speaker 1
I just felt like absolutely nothing.
00:18:24 Speaker 1
What is the point of living and being life?
00:18:27 Speaker 1
But then what is life if I don't have this?
00:18:29 Speaker 1
What is there?
00:18:30 Speaker 1
And it was like this whole empty, huge void that was so overwhelming.
00:18:37 Speaker 1
You can't, you have to get your head out of it because it just, you can't fathom it and it just feels awful.
00:18:43 Speaker 1
That's the only way it's like death.
00:18:44 Speaker 1
It felt like death, but it felt worse than death in a way, now that I know what death is.
00:18:49 Speaker 1
So that was a bad, bad place.
00:18:53 Speaker 1
So in the October, and I can't remember exactly what year, but I had to...
00:19:05 Speaker 1
No, make sure I get this right because this is really important.
00:19:09 Speaker 1
It was in the October, it was on the Saturday evening and I used to go and see a friend a lot because we used to smoke a lot of weed.
00:19:18 Speaker 1
She always had loads of it.
00:19:20 Speaker 1
Never did.
00:19:21 Speaker 1
Never had any money.
00:19:22 Speaker 1
It's another thing.
00:19:22 Speaker 1
You were flipping broke and trying to work and you couldn't.
00:19:26 Speaker 1
It was awful.
00:19:26 Speaker 1
It was very dark days.
00:19:28 Speaker 1
Anyway, so I smoked a lot of weed, which never helped the situation by the way, just makes it so much worse.
00:19:34 Speaker 1
because you become paranoid, you become scared, fearful, like way beyond what you should be feeling.
00:19:42 Speaker 1
But that's because I was picking up everything that was going on.
00:19:45 Speaker 1
Absolutely horrific, really.
00:19:47 Speaker 1
Anyway, it was a Saturday night and she said to me, I'll come over.
00:19:53 Speaker 1
And she lived behind Marble Arch.
00:19:55 Speaker 1
So I went to the bus stop.
00:19:59 Speaker 1
I lived in Clapham at the time.
00:20:01 Speaker 1
And I went to the bus stop and it was
00:20:04 Speaker 1
still dusk, and I was waiting at the bus stop on my own.
00:20:08 Speaker 1
There's nobody else there crying, just crying, because that's what was happening.
00:20:12 Speaker 1
I was just crying all the time.
00:20:14 Speaker 1
Not like sobbing, but just like crying, this emptiness, it was awful.
00:20:18 Speaker 1
And waiting for the bus, because the bus would come down this bit here, there's a wall and a footpath, but no access.
00:20:26 Speaker 1
If the wall was very long,
00:20:28 Speaker 1
So there was no gates or doors coming out of it.
00:20:31 Speaker 1
And then just there would be, there was some access here to houses that were just set back.
00:20:36 Speaker 1
So nothing, right?
00:20:38 Speaker 1
The bus had to come around the corner and that was just a straight path with no access.
00:20:43 Speaker 1
And I'm waiting at the bus stop, crying, looking up, waiting for the bus, like this, like this.
00:20:48 Speaker 1
And then suddenly there's a man, like here.
00:20:52 Speaker 1
And he walks right up to me.
00:20:57 Speaker 1
And he said, there's something along these lines.
00:20:59 Speaker 1
I can't remember the exact words.
00:21:00 Speaker 1
He walked right up to me.
00:21:02 Speaker 1
He was, I would say like, I would say like an Indian, you know, sort of looking guy.
00:21:12 Speaker 1
I can't, I don't know, you know.
00:21:14 Speaker 1
And he had grey shoes on.
00:21:17 Speaker 1
And he wasn't as tall as me.
00:21:20 Speaker 1
And he came out and he spoke to me and he went like this.
00:21:22 Speaker 1
Jesus is going to come and he's going to come into your life and cut the cancer that was growing in my heart.
00:21:30 Speaker 1
I didn't feel scared.
00:21:31 Speaker 1
I didn't think cancer or any of that.
00:21:33 Speaker 1
He just spoke like that and he walked away.
00:21:35 Speaker 1
I remember thinking, God, that's really weird.
00:21:39 Speaker 1
And when I went to look where he'd gone, he wasn't there.
00:21:43 Speaker 1
So he was there and then he wasn't there, but he was here.
00:21:48 Speaker 1
And the first thing that came into my mind was my mother used to say, never trust a man who wears grey shoes.
00:21:54 Speaker 1
I was like, wow, weird.
00:21:56 Speaker 1
That's weird.
00:21:57 Speaker 1
I mean, I laughed out and go, oh my God.
00:22:05 Speaker 1
So I got on the bus and did the whole journey crying, thinking about this guy.
00:22:12 Speaker 1
Because I point, you see, so he actually spoke like that.
00:22:17 Speaker 1
which is like an authoritative thing.
00:22:19 Speaker 1
And I couldn't understand it.
00:22:21 Speaker 1
I didn't even know cancer grew in hearts, you know what I mean?
00:22:23 Speaker 1
I just couldn't understand any of it.
00:22:25 Speaker 1
But did not feel fearful or afraid, just fascinated.
00:22:30 Speaker 1
So I get to the other end and you had to get to her house, I had to walk around the back of Marble Arch and there's a church around the back of there.
00:22:41 Speaker 1
And as I went through to go around,
00:22:46 Speaker 1
I was like this.
00:22:49 Speaker 1
And without exaggeration, there was a cross.
00:22:52 Speaker 1
It looked like it was 40 foot high and it had flames of fire across the whole thing.
00:22:59 Speaker 1
And I stood there thinking, wow, why isn't everybody looking at that?
00:23:05 Speaker 1
It's like mammoth.
00:23:08 Speaker 1
And the flames were not like on fire flames.
00:23:11 Speaker 1
They were, they were, I mean, I realise now they were glory flames, but it was on fire and it was huge.
00:23:16 Speaker 1
And why wasn't everyone looking at it?
00:23:18 Speaker 1
And I looked at it, saw it, and walked on.
00:23:24 Speaker 1
And went to this girl's house.
00:23:27 Speaker 1
We got, you know, blasted and whatever.
00:23:30 Speaker 1
Went home the next day.
00:23:31 Speaker 2
But this cross, sorry to interrupt, this cross, was it?
00:23:35 Speaker 2
It wasn't, was it like physically there?
00:23:37 Speaker 2
It wasn't physically there.
00:23:39 Speaker 1
It was a spiritual thing.
00:23:41 Speaker 1
It is actually a physical cross.
00:23:42 Speaker 1
So it's a church.
00:23:43 Speaker 1
It had railings.
00:23:44 Speaker 1
You know how they have railings around the outside like that, high.
00:23:48 Speaker 1
Then on the corner, they'd taken the corner off and there was a plinth.
00:23:53 Speaker 1
So the railings came like that and then this corner was cut back and there was a plinth with a cross.
00:23:58 Speaker 1
So that's where it was.
00:24:00 Speaker 1
But instead of being sort of, I don't know, 5 foot high metal, it's a metal one.
00:24:05 Speaker 1
I saw it as a 40-foot high cross with flames on it.
00:24:10 Speaker 1
But it is there, it's physically there, but I saw something different.
00:24:15 Speaker 1
So I suppose, I don't know if, yeah, in your mind's eye, but I only, all I could think was, why isn't everyone looking at it?
00:24:21 Speaker 1
So I sort of assumed in a way that it must be real, but obviously it wasn't real, but it was real in the spirit.
00:24:29 Speaker 1
So anyway, went to that girl's house.
00:24:31 Speaker 1
And so the next day,
00:24:34 Speaker 1
I didn't really think much about it, but it was on my mind all the time.
00:24:39 Speaker 1
So I think it was maybe 2 weeks later, I then had a job working, I don't want to say like Olympia or somewhere else court.
00:24:48 Speaker 1
It was like a fashion exhibition, sort of modelling leather coats.
00:24:55 Speaker 1
But it was really quiet.
00:24:56 Speaker 1
Not many people came on the stand.
00:24:58 Speaker 1
And there was these two girls, Catholic girls, twins.
00:25:04 Speaker 1
And they had both had board again experiences in their life and being Catholic.
00:25:10 Speaker 1
So they've got this quite big religious background, of church and life and everything.
00:25:15 Speaker 1
And for five days, all they did was talk about Jesus.
00:25:18 Speaker 1
Everything they did was, oh, that's the Lord.
00:25:20 Speaker 1
And I'm sorry, it's a term like saying, but that was the Lord, that's this, that's him.
00:25:24 Speaker 1
And I was like, what?
00:25:25 Speaker 1
Wow.
00:25:25 Speaker 1
So they started to tell me, because they just didn't tell me, like teaching me, but I'd say, what's this and what's that?
00:25:32 Speaker 1
and they were talking about Jesus all the time.
00:25:35 Speaker 1
And I kept thinking, why don't I know about this?
00:25:38 Speaker 1
I don't know about Jesus.
00:25:40 Speaker 1
I mean, I knew Jesus.
00:25:42 Speaker 1
I knew the word Jesus, but I just didn't know about Jesus.
00:25:46 Speaker 1
So the whole week carried on like that.
00:25:47 Speaker 1
And they were telling me stories from the Bible and they'd all pray about everything.
00:25:52 Speaker 1
Everything would be like, pray for everything.
00:25:54 Speaker 1
Oh, pray your arm, you pray, you know, everything like that.
00:25:56 Speaker 1
It felt really fine.
00:25:58 Speaker 1
I wasn't, you know, in any way.
00:26:02 Speaker 1
Aggie, because the only reason I say that is because a few months before all of this, a friend of mine's friend became, was a born again Christian and she tried to tell me about it and I was absolutely not.
00:26:14 Speaker 1
And she came around with a few friends who were Christian and I was like, absolutely not get out of my house.
00:26:18 Speaker 1
And I don't know why then, but I wouldn't tolerate them in my house.
00:26:21 Speaker 1
I just thought they were stupid and all the rest of it.
00:26:24 Speaker 1
So I asked, you know, get lost and everything.
00:26:28 Speaker 1
whatever else.
00:26:29 Speaker 1
So I wasn't, they didn't make me feel laggy and I don't know why, but they didn't make me feel laggy.
00:26:33 Speaker 1
They just talked about Jesus.
00:26:35 Speaker 1
They shared all the stories of the gospels, the scriptures, about how loving he was.
00:26:42 Speaker 1
You know, the footprints in the sand was the one that I remember that really, really impacted me.
00:26:50 Speaker 1
and there was only one set, isn't it?
00:26:52 Speaker 1
It's the one set because he was carrying them.
00:26:54 Speaker 1
That was the one that really impacted me so much because it was about the love, the care, the support of that person, him carrying them because they couldn't do it for themselves.
00:27:11 Speaker 1
You know, it felt precious because I hadn't grown up feeling cared for, so that was like a really big deal.
00:27:19 Speaker 1
So that was the week and it finished on the Saturday and I became friends with them so I knew I'd see them again.
00:27:30 Speaker 1
So on the Saturday night I left that job and I got home.
00:27:34 Speaker 1
It's about 7:45 in the evening, back to my house.
00:27:37 Speaker 1
I was showing with somebody, we're flatmates, nobody there.
00:27:41 Speaker 1
And I walked into my bedroom and at the end of my bedroom was a mirror on the wall, not particularly big.
00:27:49 Speaker 1
And I walked up to that mirror.
00:27:53 Speaker 1
I said, look, Jesus, if you are that man, I want you in my life.
00:27:57 Speaker 1
And this thing felt like the size of a wrecking ball.
00:28:03 Speaker 1
And I was out.
00:28:04 Speaker 1
I just got thrown out in the spirit, gone.
00:28:08 Speaker 1
That's all I can say it was, because I had no comprehension of what any of this was.
00:28:12 Speaker 1
But
00:28:13 Speaker 1
It was like a 10-ton truck hit me full on, but I didn't feel it.
00:28:18 Speaker 1
didn't hurt me.
00:28:20 Speaker 1
It didn't do anything.
00:28:23 Speaker 1
It physically moved me, because when I awoke, I was across the other side of the room.
00:28:26 Speaker 1
But at that time, I was unaware in my physical capacity of what any of it was.
00:28:33 Speaker 1
And I was out, I think, for about two hours.
00:28:37 Speaker 1
And
00:28:38 Speaker 1
The Lord visited me in that.
00:28:40 Speaker 1
I still didn't know quite what was going on, because I wasn't aware.
00:28:46 Speaker 1
But this warm presence, I could see Jesus.
00:28:54 Speaker 1
And he talked to me.
00:28:55 Speaker 1
I know he did.
00:28:56 Speaker 1
And I don't remember most of it, honestly, but I think he spoke straight into my spirit.
00:29:02 Speaker 1
And
00:29:03 Speaker 1
He showed me that when I used to stand at the window in my house, wondering what the heck it was all about, he was behind me with his arms around me.
00:29:12 Speaker 1
And he was with me, showed me, he was with me through all that time, that there's a little girl wondering what was going on.
00:29:18 Speaker 1
And there he was behind me, just holding me and loving me and protecting me, is what it felt like.
00:29:27 Speaker 1
And
00:29:29 Speaker 1
I mean, it felt like 5 minutes that time.
00:29:35 Speaker 1
And I also heard this audible voice back, get a Bible, go and read the Bible.
00:29:39 Speaker 1
Well, I tried to read the Bible when I went to the church for those six weeks.
00:29:43 Speaker 1
It was like gobbledygook, so it didn't make any sense.
00:29:46 Speaker 1
I mean, obviously I had the old King James version, which is not that helpful, but you know, it still made no sense whatsoever.
00:29:52 Speaker 1
So this voice is going, get the Bible, read the Bible, go and get a Bible.
00:29:58 Speaker 1
So when I came to, it's about, I would say, two hours later from my recollection, but I felt so heavy.
00:30:07 Speaker 1
I kept, I was thinking, oh, have I had a heart attack?
00:30:11 Speaker 1
So even then, I didn't know what had happened.
00:30:13 Speaker 1
Have I had a heart attack?
00:30:14 Speaker 1
My body felt so heavy.
00:30:16 Speaker 1
So I sort of rolled onto my front and I crawled through, it sounds really weird, but I crawled through the house on my hands and knees.
00:30:25 Speaker 1
And I actually went to the front door and opened the door and sort of sat in the doorway thinking maybe somebody will come by and maybe call an ambulance.
00:30:31 Speaker 1
I didn't know what had happened.
00:30:32 Speaker 1
I didn't still feel fearful.
00:30:34 Speaker 1
I just didn't know.
00:30:37 Speaker 1
So this voice is like, get a Bible, get a Bible.
00:30:39 Speaker 1
So when I sort of a bit later sort of found and got my energy back, felt really heavy still.
00:30:44 Speaker 1
I went upstairs and this house, it was a rental, it was full of books.
00:30:47 Speaker 1
I'm not joking.
00:30:48 Speaker 1
Bookcases full of books.
00:30:50 Speaker 1
Went through all the books.
00:30:51 Speaker 1
Do you think there was a Bible?
00:30:52 Speaker 1
Nope.
00:30:54 Speaker 1
No Bible.
00:30:55 Speaker 1
Anyway, eventually took myself to bed and I laid in bed.
00:31:01 Speaker 1
My heart was racing.
00:31:02 Speaker 1
I felt really heavy.
00:31:03 Speaker 1
I didn't know what was going on.
00:31:07 Speaker 1
Didn't sleep much, but that was okay.
00:31:09 Speaker 1
I didn't feel that darkness thing wasn't there.
00:31:11 Speaker 1
It was just I didn't know what was happening, but I was okay.
00:31:16 Speaker 1
The next day in the afternoon, I went to see a friend.
00:31:21 Speaker 1
And the friend's place that she was at was a born-again believer.
00:31:26 Speaker 1
And I'd met him a few times.
00:31:30 Speaker 1
And I walked in to see her.
00:31:33 Speaker 1
And he came up to me.
00:31:35 Speaker 1
As I walked in the door, he said, wow, what's happened to you?
00:31:41 Speaker 1
I said, I don't know, but last night, blah, blah, blah, you went, you met Jesus.
00:31:45 Speaker 1
And it was like,
00:31:47 Speaker 1
Yes! Oh, as soon as he said it, I knew it was exactly what happened.
00:31:50 Speaker 1
And I don't know why it worked like that, but that's what happened.
00:31:52 Speaker 1
I was like, oh my God, yeah, And I felt this whole thing just happen.
00:31:57 Speaker 1
He said, have you got a Bible?
00:31:58 Speaker 1
I said, no.
00:31:59 Speaker 1
And he went, there you are.
00:32:00 Speaker 1
He gave me a Bible.
00:32:03 Speaker 1
And I just went home and read it for six months.
00:32:05 Speaker 1
I read it.
00:32:06 Speaker 1
I was like, what the heck?
00:32:07 Speaker 1
Oh, wow.
00:32:11 Speaker 1
I mean, Bloom, I might, it totally made sense, I totally got it, I totally understood everything, understood the kingdom.
00:32:17 Speaker 1
I was like, wow, that's incredible, amazing, brilliant.
00:32:22 Speaker 1
I mean, I was living in Capham, and there's trees all over the common, and the leaves would come off the trees doing all this.
00:32:28 Speaker 1
And I would literally be prostrate on the pavement, just go, oh my God, you're so amazing.
00:32:32 Speaker 1
You're so amazing, how could people not see that nature is created by God?
00:32:36 Speaker 1
the veins, the thing, the nature, the autumn, the seasons.
00:32:39 Speaker 1
It's like I was so blown away by the whole thing for six months, honestly.
00:32:45 Speaker 1
It was like I felt like I was walking on the moon, you know, in the stars, whatever.
00:32:50 Speaker 1
Blown away.
00:32:51 Speaker 1
And I know that people around me thought I'd gone absolutely nuts and cuckoo.
00:32:55 Speaker 1
And, you know, I think my parents thought I was absolutely doolally.
00:33:00 Speaker 1
Obviously didn't want to smoke anymore, didn't want to do anything anymore, just wanted to read my Bible and just be in love with God, with Jesus.
00:33:07 Speaker 1
Went to a church, Kensington Temple, because I knew this guy, knew other people that were there.
00:33:12 Speaker 1
Got, you know, so I started going there and then they asked, I think it was the second time I went, I sort of did the slip in, slip out thing, because I'd never really been to a church like that.
00:33:22 Speaker 1
It's a huge church, full of the Holy Spirit, people praising God.
00:33:25 Speaker 1
And I was like, oh.
00:33:26 Speaker 1
I'd be in my little church, it would get up, get down.
00:33:29 Speaker 1
So I went in on the second time I think I went and they did an autocall.
00:33:36 Speaker 1
And I knew I knew Jesus then.
00:33:38 Speaker 1
I knew all of that.
00:33:39 Speaker 1
I was like, yeah, brilliant, fantastic.
00:33:42 Speaker 1
And he said, so he did an autocall, anyone who wants to actually commit their life now in front of people, confession of your faith and all that.
00:33:48 Speaker 1
And I'm not exaggerating.
00:33:51 Speaker 1
I felt like my neck
00:33:54 Speaker 1
was something that was trying to get out of me and it was like this wide and my neck was only this wide.
00:33:58 Speaker 1
And I could feel this thing coming up from within me and my language became horrendous, disgusting.
00:34:08 Speaker 1
And somebody from behind me came over and put their hand on me and prayed and this thing went, gone.
00:34:17 Speaker 1
You know, just a demonic spirit that had just taken its residency and I'd allowed it, obviously.
00:34:24 Speaker 1
Anyway, they prayed for me and out it went.
00:34:26 Speaker 1
So went down to the front and confessed in my faith.
00:34:31 Speaker 1
And that was great.
00:34:32 Speaker 1
Carried on reading my Bible.
00:34:33 Speaker 1
A few months later, we went to a Bible study at this guy's house, had given me the Bible.
00:34:40 Speaker 1
And during the time there, we were talking about something.
00:34:44 Speaker 1
I felt this thing happen again when my neck started feeling really big and I was like, oh gosh, I had to go into the bathroom.
00:34:50 Speaker 1
I started spitting into the bath.
00:34:51 Speaker 1
I don't even know what I was doing, but I just knew I had to get out.
00:34:54 Speaker 1
I just had to get out and I, this, another one, another spirit felt, left my body.
00:35:00 Speaker 1
It didn't feel, it did, left my body.
00:35:04 Speaker 1
And
00:35:05 Speaker 1
That was fine.
00:35:06 Speaker 1
I don't think I even told anybody.
00:35:07 Speaker 1
I just knew I had experienced it because I experienced it once.
00:35:10 Speaker 1
I knew what it was.
00:35:10 Speaker 1
So I felt fine about that.
00:35:12 Speaker 1
I mean, I felt, you know, very clear on the, I realised that I'd been in the wrong camp.
00:35:18 Speaker 1
You know, why did I never realise that there's darkness and light and I could see the spirit realm?
00:35:23 Speaker 1
Why did I not understand that, you know, the light is the kingdom of God and Jesus and the darkness is Lucifer and Satan, however, whatever name he's known under.
00:35:33 Speaker 1
And
00:35:34 Speaker 1
I just, it's like another revelation.
00:35:37 Speaker 1
So that was me, from then on in.
00:35:43 Speaker 1
I was a kingdom child and the revelations of the kingdom of light and the kingdom of darkness were so obvious going forward that I was very aware of how it sort of operated.
00:36:00 Speaker 1
And one particular night, a few years later,
00:36:04 Speaker 1
I was, I saw, the Lord showed me, it was roads.
00:36:09 Speaker 1
There were roads like highways that you would have in America, but there were obviously in England we have roads, but they were roads and highways.
00:36:15 Speaker 1
And I realized that's...
00:36:19 Speaker 1
they were spiritual highways and roads, that that's how the Lord, that's why the trans relocation.
00:36:24 Speaker 1
Because I used to think, how do people be on one side of the earth and then be on the other side through a door and everything?
00:36:29 Speaker 1
And he showed me the roads, the spiritual roads.
00:36:31 Speaker 1
So you just walk from there to there and you'd be from Australia to England.
00:36:34 Speaker 1
I was like, wow, that's amazing.
00:36:36 Speaker 1
Of course it is.
00:36:37 Speaker 1
That's the spirit realm.
00:36:38 Speaker 1
It's got a whole different structure to the one that we live in the natural.
00:36:43 Speaker 1
But I also saw in it that there were
00:36:46 Speaker 1
people of the darkness on there who'd learnt how to access what that does.
00:36:52 Speaker 1
And that was an eye-opener because you don't, you think, well, you're there and you have to stay there and we're here and we have to stay here.
00:36:58 Speaker 1
But I don't think really that Christians, everybody, I know a lot do now, praise God, understanding that the spirit realm exists and that we can be infiltrated by
00:37:13 Speaker 1
the spirits, the warlocks, the people who understand the spirit realm without knowing Jesus.
00:37:20 Speaker 1
And I've, and now as a, I've got four kids, so, and I've brought them up very much to understand the spirit realm because that's how we were made first.
00:37:30 Speaker 1
We were given the bodies afterwards and everything else.
00:37:32 Speaker 1
So understand it, how it looks and how it works, because that's what I knew before I was even got born again.
00:37:43 Speaker 1
And that's really, I think, how I have lived my life from there is the love of Christ, the footprints, loving people way beyond their deserving to be loved.
00:37:59 Speaker 1
You know, he gave his life, he shed his blood, that blood, that atones, that is powerful.
00:38:04 Speaker 1
You know, no demon could be in the presence when the blood of Christ is, you know,
00:38:08 Speaker 1
and the resurrected Spirit of Christ lives within us.
00:38:10 Speaker 1
As long as we understand that, we need to understand what those two things look like.
00:38:16 Speaker 1
And that's how I read the Word of God, always.
00:38:19 Speaker 1
It's like, wow, what's happening with that person in that time?
00:38:23 Speaker 1
You know, I was reading about Joseph yesterday in prison.
00:38:25 Speaker 1
I was thinking, wow, you had to have had a strong sense of God to go through all those things.
00:38:32 Speaker 1
You know, everyone's goes through stuff and all the incredible people in the
00:38:38 Speaker 1
the Bibles, particularly the Old Testament, but the presence of God, and I feel like, and none of them match up to being deserved in deserving, because they all messed up really big time, which is such a...
00:38:57 Speaker 1
was such a revelation.
00:38:59 Speaker 1
I didn't understand any of that stuff.
00:39:00 Speaker 1
And wow, I mean, it's just completely changed my whole life.
00:39:07 Speaker 2
Hi everyone, I'm Gem.
00:39:08 Speaker 3
And I'm Ash.
00:39:10 Speaker 2
And we really hope you're enjoying this episode today.
00:39:12 Speaker 2
If you could like, subscribe and share, it really helps us reach the right people.
00:39:16 Speaker 3
And if you've been blessed by this episode, please let us know in the comments.
00:39:24 Speaker 1
I was a, so let me just go back to the one thing, me being like now a person who talks and I can be a chatterbox, to being that person who was withdrawn and quiet and never spoke, is that the Lord gave me a picture that where my mum was pregnant, this makes me sad, but I learnt even then to be quiet and still.
00:39:46 Speaker 1
And he showed me in the corner of a room, where you can't be in a corner, but still and quiet, so that she would forget I was there.
00:39:55 Speaker 1
so that she wouldn't do what she was trying to do once, I think.
00:40:00 Speaker 1
She's not being really clear.
00:40:03 Speaker 1
And so she wouldn't terminate me.
00:40:05 Speaker 1
Because the Lord was clearly present then when I was in the womb, because he showed me that.
00:40:11 Speaker 1
And I was aware of that and I was in the corner trying to be really quiet and still.
00:40:15 Speaker 1
So when I was born, that's what I became, a compliant, still, quiet person.
00:40:19 Speaker 1
And then the enemy gets in, you become even more withdrawn and all peculiar.
00:40:23 Speaker 1
But that wasn't how I was made.
00:40:24 Speaker 1
I wasn't made to be like that.
00:40:28 Speaker 1
When I was born, I did have another picture that he showed me that when I was in the little bassinet thing next to my mum.
00:40:36 Speaker 1
So, because they kept you in hospital for quite a long time then.
00:40:40 Speaker 1
It's not like in and out like it is now.
00:40:41 Speaker 1
But I could see these little things at the end of the bassinet.
00:40:45 Speaker 1
They look like a little gerbily things.
00:40:47 Speaker 1
I say, God, what was that?
00:40:49 Speaker 1
What were those?
00:40:50 Speaker 1
But I think it was spirits.
00:40:52 Speaker 1
I think there was some sort of spirit, because as my mother said, you've got your mother's gifting.
00:40:59 Speaker 1
Well, my mother, my grand, sorry, my grandmother's gifting, but I believe that to be a foretelling, a prophetic foretelling, and the enemy took it to be a foreboding, a foreboding, you know, bringing words of death.
00:41:12 Speaker 1
And that's what I experienced as a child, all this sort of movement and activity, but the Lord has showed me it was created for this.
00:41:20 Speaker 1
So when I,
00:41:22 Speaker 1
If I am present somewhere and I can feel that death thing in somebody, not a death thing, but that darkness of pointlessness, disappointment, depression, all this stuff, I speak life into it.
00:41:37 Speaker 1
I ask the Lord to have an opportunity to speak life.
00:41:42 Speaker 1
And I think that's what my kids were always saying, my friends all love you, because they'd just all come and hang out.
00:41:46 Speaker 1
And I would say things.
00:41:47 Speaker 1
I wasn't aware of it, but I would just say things.
00:41:49 Speaker 1
And she said, they've remembered it all their life.
00:41:51 Speaker 1
Because I would just speak, life, life.
00:41:54 Speaker 1
I'm not going to have death, because that was what I started with.
00:41:56 Speaker 1
And it's awful.
00:41:57 Speaker 1
So we're not going to have that.
00:41:58 Speaker 1
We're going to have life, because there's life in God, life in Jesus.
00:42:01 Speaker 1
That's how you were created.
00:42:02 Speaker 1
Whether you get to know Jesus or not, which you will.
00:42:04 Speaker 1
But you were given life.
00:42:07 Speaker 1
That's what you're created for.
00:42:09 Speaker 1
And I love that.
00:42:10 Speaker 1
And I love that I love like that now.
00:42:12 Speaker 1
And I've had a joyous life because I met the Lord.
00:42:15 Speaker 1
Thank you, Lord, I met you at 25 because I can't imagine what I would have been like otherwise.
00:42:21 Speaker 1
So the joy of the Lord is my strength.
00:42:24 Speaker 1
It's my happiness.
00:42:26 Speaker 1
It's my everything.
00:42:27 Speaker 1
It's my I love me.
00:42:28 Speaker 1
I used to not really like meeting other people because it's like what I'm going to say to them.
00:42:31 Speaker 1
And I could see things that I didn't like and all the rest of it.
00:42:35 Speaker 1
And now I'm like excited all the time.
00:42:37 Speaker 1
You know, we're
00:42:38 Speaker 1
what, when we were talking about in the kitchen, talking about things, it's like you go back and forth, you're ministering, you're each sharing with each other, you're showing kingdom in a different way.
00:42:48 Speaker 1
I love that.
00:42:49 Speaker 1
I really, really love that.
00:42:51 Speaker 1
Kingdom is so big and so phenomenal and so creative and so exciting and so full and musical and it's everything.
00:42:58 Speaker 1
You know, I want to hear everyone's bits about it so that
00:43:02 Speaker 1
Because I think when we speak words, I'm another person, a word person.
00:43:05 Speaker 1
When people speak words, it means so much to me.
00:43:08 Speaker 1
They stick like, and they go in deep.
00:43:10 Speaker 1
So, words are really important.
00:43:12 Speaker 1
When people speak and I hear their kingdom stuff, their words, I feel like I receive that.
00:43:18 Speaker 1
Like it becomes my life in a way as well.
00:43:20 Speaker 1
It goes into my spirit and I feel even bigger than I did before in terms of what the kingdom feels like in somebody.
00:43:30 Speaker 1
So that's me.
00:43:32 Speaker 1
I think that's probably pretty much it.
00:43:33 Speaker 1
I, carried on being mum and now I'm, yeah, now I'm here sharing.
00:43:42 Speaker 1
It's the first time I've ever shared my testimony actually on in any way.
00:43:45 Speaker 2
So you need to share it more.
00:43:46 Speaker 2
It's amazing.
00:43:47 Speaker 2
I think it never gets old, the kingdom, does it?
00:43:51 Speaker 2
You know, you were saying about chatting to people, it never ever gets old and there's always something new and God's always doing something new.
00:43:57 Speaker 2
And I think actually we are all connected because we're
00:44:00 Speaker 2
we've got the Holy Spirit.
00:44:01 Speaker 2
So like, that's what you're feeling, isn't it?
00:44:03 Speaker 2
When you talk to someone and you're like, oh, I'm receiving that.
00:44:05 Speaker 2
Like, it's just like this incredible, actually spiritual realm that we can't see.
00:44:10 Speaker 1
Yeah.
00:44:11 Speaker 2
And yeah, it's amazing.
00:44:13 Speaker 2
So you'll get like your gift that God gave you, but obviously in the beginning with the bus and you saw that happen.
00:44:21 Speaker 2
What does that look like now though?
00:44:23 Speaker 2
Like, is that, do you believe that was a gift given by God, but then obviously it got interrupted.
00:44:29 Speaker 1
I don't know, because nothing's ever happened.
00:44:32 Speaker 1
Okay, nothing's happened quite like that since.
00:44:37 Speaker 1
But I do have sense of things to come that haven't yet happened, that I believe I know.
00:44:46 Speaker 1
It's almost like I've seen it, but I haven't actually seen it like I saw it that night.
00:44:50 Speaker 1
But I know it in my spirit, which can give me a confidence.
00:44:54 Speaker 1
And I say generally, it's always the kingdom stuff.
00:44:57 Speaker 1
It's not forebodingy things.
00:45:01 Speaker 1
They are kingdom things which are life, hope, a future, things that haven't yet come to pass.
00:45:08 Speaker 1
We talked a bit about that in the kitchen.
00:45:10 Speaker 1
Things like when we feel like we know things and then we want to put something to it to make sure that we know it.
00:45:20 Speaker 1
That I'm learning that when I know something, I just now know on it.
00:45:25 Speaker 1
I know it.
00:45:27 Speaker 1
I don't know when that's going to come to pass, but it's okay.
00:45:31 Speaker 2
There's a peace, isn't there?
00:45:32 Speaker 1
There's absolute peace and it's okay.
00:45:35 Speaker 1
And I'm not saying walking that all the time because my flesh sometimes goes, I can't go.
00:45:41 Speaker 1
And then you go, no, it's peace because the Lord's told me that.
00:45:43 Speaker 1
And I just haven't experienced this yet and I feel frightened and I want to go back to that old person.
00:45:47 Speaker 1
But no, we're not going to do that because we can stay here because I can trust the Lord because he carried me once and he'll carry me again, again, again.
00:45:54 Speaker 1
So I can trust in those things.
00:45:57 Speaker 1
If I have a sense of, the one thing I do have experienced a few times is when somebody, like generally it's been my children's friends that have come into my life for the last sort of 20 years, they're now all growing up and moving on, but they would talk and I would see where that was going.
00:46:17 Speaker 1
I could see in my spirit and I'd say, I'm just going to say to you, don't do that.
00:46:23 Speaker 1
Don't do that.
00:46:24 Speaker 1
That's not the way.
00:46:25 Speaker 1
It's not going to bring any good to that.
00:46:27 Speaker 1
you say it sometimes and they go, oh, yeah, And someone else will go, really?
00:46:31 Speaker 1
And go, yeah.
00:46:32 Speaker 1
But I would get that sense of things.
00:46:36 Speaker 1
But generally not that foreboding, that foresight like that.
00:46:40 Speaker 1
It's different.
00:46:41 Speaker 1
And it's
00:46:43 Speaker 1
It's good different.
00:46:43 Speaker 1
It's the right difference.
00:46:45 Speaker 1
I think the enemy, see the enemy hijacks what God made and turns it into something he thinks is like, this is far more thrilling to do it like this.
00:46:53 Speaker 1
Let's do it this way.
00:46:54 Speaker 1
You know, that's what that thrill was when I was younger.
00:46:56 Speaker 1
But outside of the thrilling for that moment, you plunge into down the cavern into death.
00:47:03 Speaker 1
So now it's the right thing because the enemy does hijack.
00:47:07 Speaker 1
He hijacks everything.
00:47:09 Speaker 1
that people think are good, that aren't placed in the kingdom, they're working and operating that, but that's not God's way.
00:47:15 Speaker 1
This was it originally, and he's hijacked it, and because he's the god of this world, you're all working, a lot of people walking in it, not so much now, because it's all, thank you, Lord, that the Spirit of God is awakening people.
00:47:28 Speaker 1
Because that's the thing that I love, is that being awakened, you totally get that that's wrong.
00:47:35 Speaker 1
And that's the thing, I feel really strong.
00:47:37 Speaker 1
I want people to be awakened in the spirit.
00:47:41 Speaker 1
Because that's what happened to me.
00:47:42 Speaker 1
I got awakened in my spirit before I knew who Jesus was, but I did know who he was, so I knew it was the kingdom, but I didn't really know.
00:47:48 Speaker 1
But that's okay.
00:47:49 Speaker 1
That's how it happened that way around for me.
00:47:52 Speaker 1
So when you awaken people in the spirit, you know, I could see things differently.
00:47:57 Speaker 1
And, you know, the enemy has hijacked so much stuff that I can
00:48:05 Speaker 1
I can now bring what the kingdom, how God made it to be first.
00:48:09 Speaker 1
That's what it should look like.
00:48:11 Speaker 1
Not that.
00:48:12 Speaker 1
So don't go to that because that's not going to bring you any good.
00:48:15 Speaker 1
But this will bring you life.
00:48:17 Speaker 2
It's like the blood and the hair thing that you said.
00:48:21 Speaker 2
That's a typical hijacking because it's currency and the spiritual realm blood, isn't it?
00:48:27 Speaker 2
It's like a currency.
00:48:29 Speaker 2
But obviously we know the blood of Jesus is like the absolute ultimate that just rides over everything.
00:48:35 Speaker 2
But they've used that blood as like a currency, haven't they, to get some sort of power.
00:48:40 Speaker 2
And unfortunately, I think a lot of people experience darkness before they experience light, don't they?
00:48:49 Speaker 2
But I think there is power in that stuff.
00:48:52 Speaker 2
Like there's no, we can't deny that there's power in that.
00:48:55 Speaker 2
And actually,
00:48:56 Speaker 2
I think people just need to be really aware that is, when you said you've obviously stuff came out of you, it was probably, in that moment you've probably exchanged something you didn't even realise, you know, and it's dangerous.
00:49:09 Speaker 1
I gave access to the enemy, basically, so...
00:49:13 Speaker 1
the kingdom of darkness can only infiltrate when you give him access or give them the demons access.
00:49:20 Speaker 1
And it starts here and it goes into here and it's the other way around from the kingdom.
00:49:24 Speaker 1
God goes here and then it comes here.
00:49:26 Speaker 1
But that thing, you see, when I accepted that, I accepted all the spelly demonic stuff that goes with that.
00:49:35 Speaker 1
And I took that on board.
00:49:36 Speaker 1
That's why I think Odes went down into even darker hole.
00:49:42 Speaker 1
But
00:49:43 Speaker 1
That was, that was, I think it's really important to understand, because I never knew God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit, and the blood, the atoning blood of Christ, younger, that all the things I experienced was because there was access by the enemy.
00:50:01 Speaker 1
And the more we dabble in those, the more we give access, like opening a door and never shutting the door, or go into that room, let's have a look at that, go into that room, let's have a look at that, leave all the doors open.
00:50:10 Speaker 1
he'll just follow you in, especially particularly if you've got no plumb line for anything else.
00:50:15 Speaker 1
The kingdom of God is the plumb line.
00:50:17 Speaker 1
It gives you the truth, and it gives you a spirit of power, love and a sound mind.
00:50:23 Speaker 1
Sound mind.
00:50:24 Speaker 1
Without a sound mind, and this world we're living in right now is trying to make all that all messy so no one knows what a sound mind is, the Bible gives you a sound mind and you can go, that's a lie and that's the truth.
00:50:36 Speaker 1
And that's so important.
00:50:38 Speaker 1
So important now because it's all murky in the water of, especially Google.
00:50:44 Speaker 1
It's A murky world.
00:50:46 Speaker 1
There's no truth.
00:50:47 Speaker 1
Often the truth is merged, but you don't want access because once you don't give access, you're free.
00:50:54 Speaker 3
It's amazing, like with your, like the Holy Spirit, when the Holy Spirit gives us a gift of prophecy, it's in a very loving way.
00:51:02 Speaker 3
Like sometimes we, I will admit, we were chatting about this in the kitchen, I think a little bit as well.
00:51:07 Speaker 3
where we want to know more.
00:51:11 Speaker 3
The enemy probably happily tell us because he's, but God knows when it will damage our hearts not to know or when we can't handle it right now.
00:51:20 Speaker 3
So God is so kind with the prophecy stuff.
00:51:22 Speaker 3
I feel like he only tells us what we need to know.
00:51:25 Speaker 2
And it's not for us, is it?
00:51:26 Speaker 2
It's for them.
00:51:27 Speaker 3
Yeah, is that, yeah, I mean, even words of knowledge and things like, I feel like God only shows us stuff that we can handle and that we should know and that he can trust us with.
00:51:35 Speaker 3
And I feel God's told me stuff and he's told me don't
00:51:37 Speaker 3
They'll never tell anyone else this.
00:51:38 Speaker 3
Like, this is, they won't, you need, this is just for you.
00:51:41 Speaker 3
And that's been amazing when he's told me.
00:51:43 Speaker 3
So I love that about the spiritual realm.
00:51:46 Speaker 3
I've got a question.
00:51:47 Speaker 3
Maybe I'm just wondering, what would you think, what do you think about, like I was listening to the radio, for example, and they were talking quite recently on radio too.
00:51:57 Speaker 3
There was just the news came on and they said about they've opened this, they've opened this university course on witchcraft.
00:52:06 Speaker 3
And I just was like, what on earth?
00:52:09 Speaker 3
And I was just like.
00:52:10 Speaker 2
It was that a good, it was that, was it at Oxford or something?
00:52:13 Speaker 3
It was like at Oxford or Cambridge.
00:52:14 Speaker 3
And I was just like, what on earth?
00:52:16 Speaker 3
And it seems to go over people's heads a bit.
00:52:18 Speaker 3
And I think it even goes over Christian's heads as well, to be honest, because no judgement or anything, but like I'm really not keen, for example, on my children reading Harry Potter books and stuff like that.
00:52:27 Speaker 3
But I'm often looked back in the face by Christians as you're a nutter.
00:52:32 Speaker 3
But I just don't want them ever interested in witchcraft in any way because I believe there is truth to it and I don't want them ever getting curious or interested or opening a door like you're saying.
00:52:41 Speaker 3
What would you say about that?
00:52:42 Speaker 1
Absolutely right.
00:52:44 Speaker 1
I think we fought hard about not having anything Harry Potter in our house because I knew the extent, you know, as a child without having even those books.
00:52:53 Speaker 1
I was
00:52:54 Speaker 1
a little bit of an access.
00:52:55 Speaker 1
It's like, oh, little tweak, there's a little window.
00:52:57 Speaker 1
I'll go and explore that.
00:52:59 Speaker 1
activity in my house was me like going, okay, come on then, let's bring it on.
00:53:03 Speaker 1
So I didn't have the books, but I just had it, you know, had the sense of it.
00:53:07 Speaker 1
And I think those books and anything that you, I mean, I find the word on a piece of paper
00:53:15 Speaker 1
far more powerful and impactful to me personally than listening, I listen to podcasts all the time.
00:53:21 Speaker 1
But, when I'm wanting to study, understand things, the word on a piece of paper for some reason just jumps at life to me.
00:53:29 Speaker 1
So, you know, Harry Potter, it's all about magic.
00:53:33 Speaker 1
Well, magic has taken over what the kingdom of God and the supernatural
00:53:37 Speaker 1
That's what he did.
00:53:38 Speaker 1
It's supernatural.
00:53:39 Speaker 1
It's not called magic.
00:53:41 Speaker 1
It's called the supernatural power of God.
00:53:43 Speaker 1
Supernatural is outside of the natural.
00:53:45 Speaker 1
So all the things that happen in these books are all about, it's like child's play really, isn't it?
00:53:52 Speaker 1
Magic.
00:53:53 Speaker 1
Magic what?
00:53:54 Speaker 1
are you magicking?
00:53:55 Speaker 1
If you want these things, you go back to the kingdom of God.
00:53:58 Speaker 1
And I don't think it, never wise.
00:54:02 Speaker 1
My daughter, I've got a daughter who always goes, eye gate, ear gate, eye gate, ear gate all the time.
00:54:06 Speaker 1
It's like what you put your eyes to, what you put your ears to will influence.
00:54:10 Speaker 1
And not everyone, you could have 10 people or read or hear the same thing, but that one will have that and that one will have that, you know, because the enemy's always looking.
00:54:19 Speaker 1
He goes to and fro across the earth to see who he can depart.
00:54:23 Speaker 1
So yes, I protect that.
00:54:24 Speaker 1
And as for the university of the occult, what the heck?
00:54:28 Speaker 1
Don't go if you're thinking about it.
00:54:30 Speaker 2
It's funny because like when you actually talk to people that have experienced witchcraft or like any of that, they always say, no, don't go there.
00:54:38 Speaker 2
Don't go there.
00:54:39 Speaker 2
But then people that haven't are like, well, it does show good and evil.
00:54:44 Speaker 2
And they will try and like, you know, but actually the people, I mean,
00:54:49 Speaker 2
I mean, I'm just going to say it because this is our podcast, we can say it, but I wouldn't go and see Wicked.
00:54:53 Speaker 2
So all my friends went to go and I said, I'm really sorry, I can't go.
00:54:57 Speaker 2
And my friend, we did a podcast with in New York, she was ex-witch.
00:55:02 Speaker 2
And I said, do you think I'm crazy?
00:55:04 Speaker 2
What would you say?
00:55:05 Speaker 2
She went, don't go.
00:55:07 Speaker 2
Don't go, Gem.
00:55:09 Speaker 2
do not go.
00:55:10 Speaker 2
And I trust her because she's been in it.
00:55:13 Speaker 2
So I was like, okay, I'll just get, I wanted to go.
00:55:16 Speaker 2
I want to go and see it.
00:55:18 Speaker 2
looks great.
00:55:19 Speaker 2
It looks nice.
00:55:19 Speaker 2
It all feels nice.
00:55:22 Speaker 2
But we had to say no.
00:55:23 Speaker 2
I had to say no.
00:55:24 Speaker 1
Good.
00:55:25 Speaker 2
Like my flesh, almost my flesh wanted to go with everyone, but I could win.
00:55:29 Speaker 1
It was packaged up nicely, wasn't it?
00:55:30 Speaker 2
Yeah, you wouldn't say that.
00:55:32 Speaker 3
You should be packaged.
00:55:33 Speaker 3
I'm drawn to it like a magnet.
00:55:35 Speaker 3
I mean, the movies, the Harry Potter movies, they're very good movies.
00:55:40 Speaker 3
And of course, I'm drawn to it like a magnet.
00:55:42 Speaker 3
I want to watch it.
00:55:42 Speaker 3
There's so much stuff I want to watch, but I've got a rule of thumb.
00:55:45 Speaker 3
I learned it from my friend Sam, and I love it.
00:55:47 Speaker 3
And it's like he said,
00:55:49 Speaker 3
If everyone else is watching it, that's a really good sign to me that I will not be watching it.
00:55:53 Speaker 3
And I was like, I love that because it's like really good and it's really helped me with stuff.
00:55:57 Speaker 3
I'm just like, you know what, everyone's watching that would be best to watch it.
00:56:01 Speaker 3
If the world's doing it, then probably better so we don't get involved.
00:56:03 Speaker 3
We've got to guard our hearts and minds.
00:56:05 Speaker 1
Absolutely.
00:56:05 Speaker 1
Gate, ear gate, eye gate all the time because that's the access.
00:56:08 Speaker 1
So, you know, we've got to do that.
00:56:10 Speaker 1
I mean, the thing about that wicked thing is that the two main leads in that, I'm sorry, I mean, I'm not a massive social media.
00:56:18 Speaker 1
I do like to do a
00:56:19 Speaker 1
But how weird were they?
00:56:21 Speaker 1
I'm sorry.
00:56:22 Speaker 1
They were weird with each other.
00:56:23 Speaker 1
That was weird.
00:56:24 Speaker 1
I kept crying all the time.
00:56:25 Speaker 1
I don't know if you saw their interviews.
00:56:27 Speaker 2
Everyone thought it was weird.
00:56:29 Speaker 2
Everyone thought it was weird.
00:56:30 Speaker 1
So weird.
00:56:30 Speaker 1
Yeah, that's enough for me.
00:56:32 Speaker 1
That was enough.
00:56:32 Speaker 1
Like, they're weird.
00:56:34 Speaker 1
And they've had, I mean, they're just weird.
00:56:36 Speaker 1
It just, you know, it was like, oh, I'm wicked.
00:56:39 Speaker 1
It's the title.
00:56:40 Speaker 1
It's Green Witches.
00:56:41 Speaker 1
I mean, it's like absolutely not.
00:56:43 Speaker 2
But then one of the main characters has said, I'm the witchiest of witches.
00:56:48 Speaker 2
And she does tarot.
00:56:49 Speaker 2
So I think that's quite, I know we don't even need to say her name.
00:56:53 Speaker 2
People can find out whoever it is.
00:56:56 Speaker 2
But for me, that's like, okay, red flag, like instantly.
00:56:59 Speaker 2
So I think you just got to listen to your heart on some things.
00:57:01 Speaker 1
But the heart can, so I'm sorry to interrupt, but it can be deceitful if you're not sitting in Kingdom.
00:57:08 Speaker 1
It can deceive you because I know Christians have gone to see it and they all think it's fantastic.
00:57:14 Speaker 1
And I.
00:57:15 Speaker 1
Wow, Lord, this is, we're in the coming into the days of where we were saying earlier, evil, good and lies and truth.
00:57:24 Speaker 1
Truth and lies are all.
00:57:27 Speaker 1
some murky water now, very murky water.
00:57:30 Speaker 1
And because someone's made a great production with a film, packaged it up beautifully, we've got to be really mindful here in our spirit, not my heart or my eyes, because I'll go, oh, that looks great.
00:57:42 Speaker 1
That's probably going to make you go and watch it.
00:57:44 Speaker 1
And you'll be like that.
00:57:45 Speaker 1
And you walk away and things have stuck in there.
00:57:48 Speaker 1
You know, they've stuck.
00:57:49 Speaker 1
And we've got to be mindful of that.
00:57:51 Speaker 1
And I don't know how you make people mindful of it, but being aware of it is a start.
00:57:56 Speaker 1
And those two girls, that film was, I don't even know what was in that.
00:58:00 Speaker 1
But, you know, there's a lot of weird crying and weird people.
00:58:04 Speaker 1
And I can't comment on it because I haven't seen it.
00:58:06 Speaker 1
And like you, I think it's really wise.
00:58:09 Speaker 1
You know, I told my kids, none of them could read Harry Potter, but it could only get to an age where they think, well, I'm going to read it now.
00:58:15 Speaker 1
You know, there's not much you can do about it.
00:58:18 Speaker 1
But, because they've been bikers brought up, even though I probably, in mum years, I always talked about the Spirit of God and understanding those things, that even when they did read it, I think one of them read it once, that was it, didn't read the rest of them.
00:58:34 Speaker 1
And I was like, well, thank you, Lord.
00:58:35 Speaker 1
Because it just falls dead on the floor.
00:58:37 Speaker 1
It's how it should be.
00:58:38 Speaker 1
Kingdom, that, you know, stuff that's not of the kingdom should fall.
00:58:41 Speaker 3
And we're not judging you as well.
00:58:44 Speaker 3
If you're listening to this thinking you're feeling a bit judged, we're not judging you.
00:58:47 Speaker 3
We're just calling out what the enemy is doing.
00:58:48 Speaker 3
Like it's clear to us and we're just trying to call it out.
00:58:51 Speaker 2
Because we've got good, friends that we adore and we love and they, you know, participate in some of this.
00:58:57 Speaker 2
But I think actually we are like, we just want to say our side of it and
00:59:04 Speaker 2
They say, actually, we don't talk about it, then no one's going to talk about it, and then it's all going to be, we're just going to see it and shh, shh.
00:59:10 Speaker 2
But actually, this is what stuff like this is for.
00:59:12 Speaker 2
It's really good.
00:59:13 Speaker 3
The enemy is so deceitful.
00:59:14 Speaker 2
Yeah.
00:59:15 Speaker 1
Makes good dinner party chats.
00:59:17 Speaker 1
My sister and I, we were often like, no, wow, yeah.
00:59:24 Speaker 1
But I feel that things have to be said.
00:59:26 Speaker 1
You know, that's what we're about is bringing something to the attention, you know, so that we could be mindful of it.
00:59:32 Speaker 1
And then each person is going to be different.
00:59:35 Speaker 1
And that's great.
00:59:36 Speaker 1
That's how I love it that we're all different.
00:59:37 Speaker 1
I'd hate us all to be the same.
00:59:39 Speaker 3
There's such a spirit of offence around at the moment.
00:59:41 Speaker 3
You can't have conversations anymore.
00:59:43 Speaker 3
It's okay to disagree.
00:59:44 Speaker 3
It doesn't matter if we don't all agree with everything.
00:59:47 Speaker 3
We can have a conversation.
00:59:50 Speaker 2
Just on the spiritual realm, you know, when you were a child and there was stuff happening in your house, obviously the world would say, oh, it's ghosts, it's your children that, you know, these spirits, a lot of them show up in little children and things like that.
01:00:03 Speaker 2
I mean, I know what I think that is.
01:00:05 Speaker 2
What would you say that all is now?
01:00:07 Speaker 2
A lot of people experience paranormal activity, as we like to call it.
01:00:11 Speaker 2
What do you think that all was when you were young?
01:00:15 Speaker 1
I think they were obviously spirits of some sort, something spiritual, but.
01:00:21 Speaker 2
But not, do you think they're people, ghosts coming back to war?
01:00:23 Speaker 1
People can't, I don't believe people can come back.
01:00:26 Speaker 1
I don't, never, I mean, there was only one incident in the Bible where they talked from that place, you know, Abraham's bosom thing and the guy went down.
01:00:36 Speaker 1
So I actually don't believe that they were at all.
01:00:39 Speaker 1
I think they're just a demonic activity because they're not a godly activity.
01:00:44 Speaker 1
So I call it demonic, not to be like scary, but they're just not from the kingdom.
01:00:48 Speaker 1
But because we were, I think, by saying my sister is very similar, we're spiritually very active and attuned that we could see and it manifested itself in some sort of vision, just like the cross, right?
01:01:02 Speaker 1
Saw that cross, well, it wasn't there, but we saw it, I saw it as there.
01:01:07 Speaker 1
So when my sister saw me at the door, I wasn't there and nor was anybody else, but spiritually there was some demonic thing.
01:01:15 Speaker 1
and the man and all the rest of it.
01:01:18 Speaker 2
And why did this happen to you?
01:01:20 Speaker 2
Do you think this is like past stuff that your family's been involved in?
01:01:23 Speaker 2
Like, because it doesn't happen to everyone, does it?
01:01:27 Speaker 1
No, it doesn't happen to everybody.
01:01:28 Speaker 1
And I don't know.
01:01:29 Speaker 1
I mean, I don't know how I can come, but my parents' marriage wasn't great.
01:01:36 Speaker 1
And
01:01:37 Speaker 1
They're both not here now, so I feel like I talk about it now.
01:01:40 Speaker 1
My mum passed away at Christmas, so weirdly that this has happened, because I probably wouldn't talk about this so openly if she was still here, because I would feel like I didn't want to dishonour her in any way.
01:01:49 Speaker 1
So, and I'm not dishonouring her now, but their marriage wasn't great, and my father had a lot of adultery going on, a massive amount of adultery.
01:01:57 Speaker 1
And that's a big open door access to life in a family.
01:02:05 Speaker 1
And
01:02:07 Speaker 1
I think that came through.
01:02:08 Speaker 1
I think we were spiritually aware.
01:02:10 Speaker 1
I think this house was very old.
01:02:12 Speaker 1
I think there may have been some stuff happened in it because there was an occasion when they were renovating a room and when they took the ceiling down, this Bible, a newspaper cutting and some scissors fell out in a package.
01:02:24 Speaker 1
I was like, and I remember here, what's all that?
01:02:26 Speaker 1
And of course they cleared it all away.
01:02:28 Speaker 1
I don't know what it was.
01:02:30 Speaker 1
But I think, and the actual house was 13th century, that originally.
01:02:35 Speaker 1
So I think there's a lot of stuff that happened in there as well.
01:02:39 Speaker 1
I mean, my parents knew stuff was happening because we built an extension on the end and where the old bit finished, there was a door.
01:02:46 Speaker 1
There used to be keys in the door with a bunch of keys.
01:02:49 Speaker 1
And every night, the keys would start doing that in the door.
01:02:52 Speaker 1
We had all that going on as well.
01:02:53 Speaker 1
But they used to tell us it was something or another, which you believe as a child.
01:02:57 Speaker 1
You go, oh yeah, it's that.
01:02:58 Speaker 1
Of course it wasn't that at all.
01:03:00 Speaker 1
So there was some other activity happening in the house and obviously we never went in and no one ever prayed or dismissed it, got rid of it.
01:03:09 Speaker 1
So it was just playing around really.
01:03:11 Speaker 1
It's just playing because it can't hurt
01:03:14 Speaker 1
It can't physically hurt me, but it's here that the enemy only ever comes.
01:03:18 Speaker 1
It's scary.
01:03:19 Speaker 2
And actually that's not, that's the other side of the realm, isn't it?
01:03:23 Speaker 2
That is the dark side.
01:03:25 Speaker 1
Fear.
01:03:25 Speaker 1
It's awful.
01:03:27 Speaker 3
Well, I'm just hearing all this.
01:03:28 Speaker 3
What would you say to somebody who might be listening to this?
01:03:31 Speaker 3
And I actually have recently been chatting to some girls who were telling me they've experienced this in their room and I just prayed with them.
01:03:38 Speaker 3
But what should they do?
01:03:41 Speaker 3
What should you do?
01:03:42 Speaker 3
Like, what is the answer if people are experiencing this kind of darkness?
01:03:46 Speaker 3
What should they do?
01:03:47 Speaker 1
I mean, are they, do they believe, believe in God?
01:03:50 Speaker 3
And they have some faith, but I think it's very new to them.
01:03:53 Speaker 3
I met these girls through Alpha and they describe this kind of stuff.
01:03:57 Speaker 3
And I said, do we go into the room and
01:04:01 Speaker 3
just say blood of Jesus in this room.
01:04:03 Speaker 3
I think it could help them, but I'm just thinking other people maybe listening to this right now will be thinking, oh, this is happening to me.
01:04:08 Speaker 3
What do I do about it?
01:04:09 Speaker 3
Should they get someone from the church to come in or?
01:04:12 Speaker 1
Well, it's that the biblically, the Bible says the enemy goes to and fro.
01:04:16 Speaker 1
He's just trying to come in each house.
01:04:17 Speaker 1
It's like a burglar.
01:04:18 Speaker 1
Oh, is that door open?
01:04:19 Speaker 1
Is that unlocked?
01:04:20 Speaker 1
I'll try, I'll go in there.
01:04:21 Speaker 1
You just stand and go in the name of Jesus for the blood of Christ, get out.
01:04:24 Speaker 1
You're gone.
01:04:25 Speaker 1
You're not going to have any access to me, and that's it.
01:04:27 Speaker 1
Command you to get out of my room, my house.
01:04:30 Speaker 1
Because that's it, we can do that.
01:04:32 Speaker 1
Even those who don't fully feel like they have a relationship with God.
01:04:39 Speaker 1
I mean, someone the other day gave their life to the Lord and she said to me, oh, but I'm not where you are.
01:04:45 Speaker 1
I said, you're exactly where I am.
01:04:47 Speaker 1
Exactly where I am.
01:04:50 Speaker 1
Because you're a week old believer.
01:04:53 Speaker 1
You're no different.
01:04:54 Speaker 1
We have the resurrected Spirit of God lives in me, lives in you now.
01:04:58 Speaker 1
So you can do the same thing.
01:05:00 Speaker 1
But I just don't think we teach it enough that we have that authority.
01:05:03 Speaker 1
And we were in a world now where people are managing everything.
01:05:07 Speaker 1
Everything's got a brand, a name, a coach.
01:05:11 Speaker 1
It's like nuts.
01:05:12 Speaker 1
But just teach that we can say, get out in Jesus' name.
01:05:17 Speaker 1
The blood of Christ, the resurrected Spirit of God is in me and you're not going to have me.
01:05:21 Speaker 1
Because the enemy is just
01:05:22 Speaker 1
basically trying to find out who he can get to.
01:05:26 Speaker 1
And it's like a little kid playing around as far as I'm concerned.
01:05:28 Speaker 1
I mean, I'm A Smith Wigglesworth fan in terms of like, oh my gosh, he's wild.
01:05:35 Speaker 1
I love him.
01:05:36 Speaker 3
He's very encouraging reading his book.
01:05:38 Speaker 3
So if you read one of his book, I've just been in the middle of reading one of his actually and you just, yeah, you just get so excited about healing.
01:05:45 Speaker 2
He would just be reading his book and it's the type of book where he goes,
01:05:48 Speaker 2
Jim, can I just tell you one more thing?
01:05:50 Speaker 2
And I'm trying to read my book and he's like, oh, I've just got to tell you this as well.
01:05:53 Speaker 2
And I'm just like, right, just, should we just, maybe just read me the whole book?
01:05:57 Speaker 3
Yeah.
01:05:58 Speaker 2
But yeah.
01:05:59 Speaker 3
I love, I love how Jesus just came in and
01:06:04 Speaker 3
like a wrecking ball, you said.
01:06:05 Speaker 3
You invite him in.
01:06:06 Speaker 3
He was almost like he was waiting to come.
01:06:08 Speaker 3
He just came piling in and I love that.
01:06:10 Speaker 1
I mean, that was absolutely powerful in the spirit because as I said, it was a strength and a power, but I didn't feel.
01:06:19 Speaker 1
It's not like, you know, 10 ton truck wrecking ball would kill you, but it didn't kill me.
01:06:24 Speaker 1
It killed the enemy.
01:06:25 Speaker 1
But I didn't feel it in my body.
01:06:27 Speaker 1
That's what I still go, what the heck?
01:06:29 Speaker 1
I didn't feel it in my body, but it moves me across the room.
01:06:32 Speaker 1
I was out on my own.
01:06:33 Speaker 1
wasn't fearful.
01:06:34 Speaker 1
And that's always the key.
01:06:35 Speaker 1
If you're feeling fearful, you can know it's the enemy.
01:06:38 Speaker 1
That's just the fact.
01:06:39 Speaker 2
Yeah.
01:06:39 Speaker 1
No, God never comes with fear.
01:06:41 Speaker 1
When that guy came up to me, no fear.
01:06:43 Speaker 3
Yeah.
01:06:44 Speaker 1
When the wrecking ball came in, I wasn't fearful.
01:06:46 Speaker 3
Yeah.
01:06:47 Speaker 2
And that's amazing that your mum said, never trust a man with grey shoes, because that was a spiritual.
01:06:52 Speaker 2
That's like something planted all those years ago.
01:06:55 Speaker 2
Exactly.
01:06:56 Speaker 2
That's so spiritual.
01:06:57 Speaker 2
If you just see that with your eyes open, you're like, wow, that was something that.
01:07:03 Speaker 1
But it's interesting that the Lord sent, I believe it's been an angel, that guy with grey shoes.
01:07:12 Speaker 1
So I say, Lord, what was that about?
01:07:14 Speaker 1
And I think, I wonder if it's for me to just keep turning it over in my mind, just to keep going, grey shoes, grey shoes.
01:07:19 Speaker 1
Who was he?
01:07:20 Speaker 1
Grey shoes.
01:07:20 Speaker 1
Came out of nowhere.
01:07:21 Speaker 1
But you know, it's fascinating.
01:07:24 Speaker 1
And that's what I love about it, because I can go back to him as my dad now, because he is my dad.
01:07:29 Speaker 1
He's my daddy, my father, my wise, wonderful.
01:07:33 Speaker 1
loving God and say, I'd love to know why that, what that was all about.
01:07:38 Speaker 1
And also I always thought angels were really tall, So, it's fascinating.
01:07:43 Speaker 1
But there was no fear.
01:07:44 Speaker 1
That's the point.
01:07:45 Speaker 1
I felt really secure, loved and okay in that moment that he spoke to me.
01:07:50 Speaker 2
You know, like they say in the Bible that we have angels protecting us all the time and with us, maybe that's someone that's been
01:07:56 Speaker 2
always and it's that's just that's in our world that's what he looks like grey shoes and probably well I'm just guessing this obviously Satan's like right we need to make sure she's not going to trust that person because he's always like because
01:08:10 Speaker 2
He's always been there, hasn't he?
01:08:12 Speaker 2
He's like, that's always been predestined.
01:08:16 Speaker 2
That was always written on your life, that moment.
01:08:18 Speaker 1
Yeah.
01:08:19 Speaker 2
And yeah, it's just fascinating, isn't it, how God works like that?
01:08:23 Speaker 1
So interesting.
01:08:24 Speaker 1
And that's the thing about, I find life so interesting.
01:08:26 Speaker 2
Yeah.
01:08:27 Speaker 1
Because never too, I was saying yesterday to one of my dear friend, you know, God's, because I've got a daughter who wants to know things at the moment.
01:08:34 Speaker 1
She wants to know what the plan is.
01:08:36 Speaker 1
It's like trust, trust issues are quite a big thing.
01:08:38 Speaker 1
And
01:08:39 Speaker 1
trusting when you just don't feel secure, but you do feel secure in God, but you don't feel secure in the world, because the world, you're in the world, but you're not of the world and all that.
01:08:48 Speaker 1
And as, you know, he doesn't, can't always tell us ahead of time, because I don't think we'd handle it.
01:08:57 Speaker 1
One, two, we'd go and do something about it ourselves.
01:09:00 Speaker 1
It's really important that we, because we just can't conceive
01:09:06 Speaker 1
or understand the hugeness of God and the plans he has for us.
01:09:12 Speaker 1
And if he involves, I know if he involves me, I'll get on and do stuff I shouldn't be doing.
01:09:16 Speaker 1
So he tells me as much as we need to know and understand at that time.
01:09:21 Speaker 1
You might know later on, but at that time, that's what you need to know and that's what he's told you, so that's what you do now.
01:09:28 Speaker 1
And that's all he's told you.
01:09:29 Speaker 1
If he hasn't told you anything else, you're not ready to hear it or you don't need to hear it.
01:09:34 Speaker 1
or you just need to keep trusting so you can build that trust.
01:09:37 Speaker 1
Because if he's doing a work in you, that's got to be finished.
01:09:41 Speaker 1
and if we start running off on our own, doing our own things, sometimes he doesn't finish that and that needs to be finished.
01:09:46 Speaker 1
Did I go off on a different question then from that?
01:09:49 Speaker 1
Oh, sorry.
01:09:50 Speaker 3
Great.
01:09:51 Speaker 3
Really, really, really good.
01:09:53 Speaker 3
Thank you so much.
01:09:53 Speaker 2
Yeah, thanks so much.
01:09:54 Speaker 2
It was amazing.
01:09:55 Speaker 1
Oh, you're welcome.
01:09:56 Speaker 1
Thanks, guys.
01:09:57 Speaker 2
So powerful.
01:09:58 Speaker 2
And what an experience that, you know, when God just...
01:10:01 Speaker 2
He didn't even know what happened.
01:10:02 Speaker 2
He probably was doing surgery in your heart.
01:10:04 Speaker 1
He absolutely did.
01:10:06 Speaker 2
He was waiting to come in, I think.
01:10:08 Speaker 3
He was waiting for you to say the word.
01:10:10 Speaker 3
Probably he was there straight away.
01:10:12 Speaker 2
It's like, you know, when you see a picture of Jesus like running to someone, it's like that, isn't it?
01:10:18 Speaker 2
And what an incredible, beautiful experience that those two hours or that 5 seconds, whatever, how long it was, have changed your life forever, haven't they?
01:10:28 Speaker 2
There's no denying it.
01:10:29 Speaker 1
I absolutely was a different person than it did.
01:10:31 Speaker 2
Incredible.
01:10:33 Speaker 1
And I have been ever since.
01:10:34 Speaker 1
Yeah, absolutely.
01:10:35 Speaker 1
And he loved, it was the love, the love and that he'd been with me all my life.
01:10:43 Speaker 1
You know, to stand there so protective and loving.
01:10:45 Speaker 1
And I know he spoke, but it just went into my spirit, you know, and I was a different person.
01:10:51 Speaker 1
I was like, you know, after being like a, and that has remained.
01:10:58 Speaker 1
But now I am the person,
01:11:00 Speaker 1
that I should have been.
01:11:01 Speaker 1
So that's what he brought life where there'd been darkness and death.
01:11:05 Speaker 1
Death being that it wasn't, it was stunted, it was lifeless.
01:11:09 Speaker 1
And then when he came in with the Spirit of God, he brought that to life.
01:11:12 Speaker 1
And everything that he made in me came to life too, which is this thing, you know?
01:11:18 Speaker 2
You're the second person we've interviewed.
01:11:20 Speaker 2
Our good friend Christine said she was like a mouse before she knew the Lord.
01:11:24 Speaker 2
And then the day that she got born again,
01:11:27 Speaker 2
I mean, she just brings so much joy and laughter into her room.
01:11:30 Speaker 2
She just opens her mouth and you just laugh and she's so bubbly and funny.
01:11:34 Speaker 2
But she was like, you wouldn't have believed, you know, I was so quiet.
01:11:37 Speaker 2
And it's amazing, isn't it, that spiritual exchange that happens and then you just change.
01:11:42 Speaker 2
It's just incredible.
01:11:44 Speaker 1
It's true, the exchange, that's a good word.
01:11:45 Speaker 1
It's an exchange.
01:11:47 Speaker 1
Basically, God just kicks the enemy out.
01:11:49 Speaker 1
And he comes in.
01:11:52 Speaker 2
Yeah, it's amazing.
01:11:53 Speaker 2
And you've got so much to your story.
01:11:56 Speaker 2
And we'd love you to pray for anyone that's listening.
01:11:58 Speaker 2
I mean, what do you do anything?
01:12:01 Speaker 2
Did you get anything that you wanted to focus on?
01:12:06 Speaker 3
Anything you like?
01:12:06 Speaker 3
I think just you go and pray, whatever's on your heart.
01:12:10 Speaker 3
I guess just come to mind, actually, as Gem said that, is anyone who may have also experienced that their parents may have thought about aborting them or anyone who has considered an abortion as well.
01:12:20 Speaker 3
It's obviously they're going through something really hard to be in that position.
01:12:25 Speaker 2
Yeah, there's like a spirit of rejection over that, isn't there?
01:12:28 Speaker 2
And that's a hard thing to grow up with.
01:12:34 Speaker 1
Yeah, just on that note, actually, when I, before mum passed away at Christmas, as you get towards the end of her life, I said to her one day about it, because she's a bit funny about babies, always was.
01:12:47 Speaker 1
And I said to her, God, you know, I said, that really hurts me because I was that, I was a baby once and, you know, all this stuff.
01:12:53 Speaker 1
I said, when you talk so openly about, getting rid of a child, which was me, when you used to tell everybody, I said, that was me.
01:13:01 Speaker 1
I don't know if you remember that, but I was that child.
01:13:05 Speaker 1
I said, I, you know, I was crying.
01:13:06 Speaker 1
I was just saying, it really hurts to hear my own mother talk about those things.
01:13:12 Speaker 1
And she was actually, she didn't cry often about other things.
01:13:16 Speaker 1
She cried a little bit for herself, but didn't really cry.
01:13:19 Speaker 1
And she said,
01:13:21 Speaker 1
And I said, about God in my life and where was he in that?
01:13:24 Speaker 1
And she said, there was a day, she said, and I said to the, I said to God, you determine whether this child lives or not.
01:13:34 Speaker 1
Which I know like for us is like, of course God wants life.
01:13:38 Speaker 1
He created life.
01:13:39 Speaker 1
He wants life.
01:13:40 Speaker 1
But that was such a solidifying thing for me, a healing thing to actually hear that she asked him.
01:13:48 Speaker 1
And of course he did want me here.
01:13:50 Speaker 1
And I can't really explain because it makes sense that, yeah, we've got, yeah, of course he would want you.
01:13:54 Speaker 1
But honestly, he just did something to me.
01:13:56 Speaker 1
And I think that last residue of like not sure, rejection, all the rest of it was just gone.
01:14:03 Speaker 1
And I feel so whole from that.
01:14:06 Speaker 1
Because he is the creator of life.
01:14:09 Speaker 1
And he wants that to see that, doesn't he?
01:14:12 Speaker 1
Here.
01:14:14 Speaker 1
Sorry, I jumped in there.
01:14:16 Speaker 1
Interruption.
01:14:19 Speaker 1
Yes.
01:14:20 Speaker 1
Well, so you would like me to pray?
01:14:22 Speaker 2
Yes, please.
01:14:22 Speaker 2
Yeah.
01:14:27 Speaker 1
Father, I just thank you for the opportunity to share my testimony, because that's the first time I've actually ever had that recorded or just given in this environment.
01:14:40 Speaker 1
And Father, I know that when I listen to people's testimonies, I'm always blown away by who you are and the millions and billions of facets that there are to you, Father God.
01:14:52 Speaker 1
And the one thing I know that is always the thing that you want us to know is how loved we are by you.
01:15:01 Speaker 1
The love of God through his Son Jesus
01:15:04 Speaker 1
is so powerful, we can't comprehend it with our head, and it has to be with our spirit.
01:15:10 Speaker 1
And I pray that for every single person that hears this testimony, that their spirits will be awakened to the kingdom of God, and to receive the love of God in such a powerful way, that it would just knock anything that the enemy, or any darkness, or any stuff that the
01:15:28 Speaker 1
the other kingdom is trying to take possession of, that you would knock it out of the park because the presence of God, no darkness can be in the light.
01:15:36 Speaker 1
It just can't.
01:15:38 Speaker 1
And I pray, Father God, for anyone who hears this testimony, that like I did, and I said, Lord, if you are that person, I want you in my life.
01:15:46 Speaker 1
And you came immediately.
01:15:49 Speaker 1
And you always do because you said, ask and you shall receive.
01:15:53 Speaker 1
Knock and the door shall open.
01:15:54 Speaker 1
And Father, that's what I pray for.
01:15:57 Speaker 1
And I pray for all your children upon this earth, Lord God, who don't know you yet and those that do know you would find a deeper revelation of the love of God and the security that comes with that.
01:16:10 Speaker 1
And this I pray, Lord, in your name.
01:16:14 Speaker 1
Amen.
01:16:15 Speaker 3
Amen.
01:16:17 Speaker 2
That's a wrap.
01:16:18 Speaker 2
Thank you so much.
01:16:20 Speaker 2
That's amazing.
01:16:21 Speaker 3
Loved it.
01:16:24 Speaker 2
If you've just watched this episode and you're wondering, how do I give my life to God?
01:16:28 Speaker 2
How do I become a Christian?
01:16:29 Speaker 2
We'd love to lead you in a really simple prayer.
01:16:31 Speaker 2
It really is all it takes.
01:16:33 Speaker 2
Jesus wants to come into your heart.
01:16:35 Speaker 2
And yeah, it's just a very simple, sorry, thank you, please.
01:16:38 Speaker 2
So we're going to pray now.
01:16:39 Speaker 2
If you want to do that, it'd be great.
01:16:42 Speaker 2
And you can always e-mail us and let us know.
01:16:45 Speaker 2
And we'd love to support you in that.
01:16:48 Speaker 3
Let's pray together.
01:16:52 Speaker 3
Father, I'm sorry.
01:16:54 Speaker 3
that I've tried to live my life without you.
01:16:57 Speaker 3
I'm sorry for all the things I've done in my life that haven't been right.
01:17:04 Speaker 3
I thank you, Lord, that you came and you died for us.
01:17:07 Speaker 3
Even if we were the only one, you would have still done it because you love us so much.
01:17:12 Speaker 3
Thank you that now we can be called your sons and your daughters.
01:17:17 Speaker 3
We are children of God now and that we can have a relationship with you.
01:17:24 Speaker 3
Please come into my life.
01:17:26 Speaker 3
I want to know you.
01:17:27 Speaker 3
I want to know the Father.
01:17:32 Speaker 3
In Jesus' name.
01:17:35 Speaker 3
Amen.
01:17:36 Speaker 3
Amen.
01:17:36 Speaker 3
Thanks for listening to the Jesus Studio Podcast.
01:17:39 Speaker 3
Please rate and subscribe.
01:17:41 Speaker 3
The testimonials and stories shared reflect the personal experiences and unique journeys of our guests.
01:17:47 Speaker 3
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