00:03 - Craig (Host)
Hello and good evening and welcome back to another exciting, riveting. I need more words here Exuberating, exuberating. I don't know, I have no idea. All right, we'll add that to lexicon and not leprechaun. Look it up. This is episode 11. As some of you are wondering about the title, in the immortal words of Nigel Tuftall these go to 11. And if you don't get that reference, that is from the cult classic. This is spinal tap.
00:41 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Okay, but here's the thing See, we've got, I won't not, we've got. I've got volumes and several thousand lists of movies I haven't seen that's on one of them. I think it's in volume 692. Page 53.
00:59 - Craig (Host)
Page 53. You added a few pages. I had a few volumes. Is it because I've seen one or two more movies than you? There was no reason to feel bad. One for two thousand more than I have. There was a lot of downtime on the submarine, so I watched a few movies and then I watched movies after because I really had no life.
01:22 - AnnaMarie (Host)
It's so sad, so sad.
01:25 - Craig (Host)
So sad. I guess in parentheses we can name this the little things. What do I mean by that? I'm glad you asked. In some relationships out there in the ether, somewhere out in podcast land or outside of podcast land, I guess, there are relationships and partnerships where whether the partner partners or both partners sometimes demands these grand gestures, you have to do something really stupendous and wonderful for me, or you just don't love me as much as if you did these things that I demand you do for me. Wow, that's not right. It's not right at all.
02:14 - AnnaMarie (Host)
So the little things. There's a group that I'm very fond of. They do not perform in the United States, although I really wish they'd consider it. They perform all around Europe and the UK. They're called Key West and they happen to have a song entitled the Little Things, so I'd like to share a part of that with you. Don't panic, I know some of my friends are tuned in. I'm not going to sing because you know we don't need to get in trouble for that. The way you hold my hand after all these years you make me laugh when I'm close to tears. We stay up late drinking cheap red wine, like our first date. We'll just talk all night. I tell you all my fears and you just say we'll play it all by year. We'll be okay, because we're so much stronger than all of this. We'll build our lives up, brick by brick, upon the little things. So that is what we're going to talk about tonight, and next to me, as always, with a full cup of coffee, I see, is none other than coffee AK Craig.
03:21 - Craig (Host)
And by my side, as always, is cuddles AKA Annemarie coffee free. Well no, I didn't have any coffee.
03:29 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I didn't have any coffee.
03:30 - Craig (Host)
I'm right here, so you can't be coffee free.
03:32 - AnnaMarie (Host)
No, I can be coffee free. You're coffee. Well, you're full of coffee. I didn't have any coffee today because a parent who comes and helps me out on Fridays usually brings me some form of coffee, and she didn't bring me any today, although I am talking a mile a minute, aren't I? So the little things, these are things that to some people they'd go and, but to us, they truly are the little things. So I guess we'll just play it back and forth, okay, like ping-pong, I was thinking like a tennis match, pickleball, I don't know how pickleball works.
04:11 - Craig (Host)
It's a combination of many games that makes absolutely no sense. I've tried watching it and I'm like, all right, I've got it. No, I don't got it, so I don't understand. So if there's anyone out there that is a pickleball expert, please feel free to write in and let us know what it's all about.
04:26 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Or if you want to invite us to come and learn pickleball, we're up for that too. All right, so the little things.
04:34 - Craig (Host)
Are pickleballs little? Maybe ties in? Oh no, I don't know. Is it shaped like a pickle?
04:39 - AnnaMarie (Host)
No, it's not shaped like a pickle.
04:40 - Craig (Host)
Then why do they call it pickleball?
04:42 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I don't know.
04:42 - Craig (Host)
Is it these greens this?
04:44 - AnnaMarie (Host)
is why we're asked I don't know. This is why we're asking for experts to give us more insight.
04:51 - Craig (Host)
Fine, what do we keep you around for if you don't have answers to these burning questions?
04:56 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I didn't know. It was a burning question. Why are you saving pickles on fire?
05:00 - Craig (Host)
They're hot and spicy.
05:02 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Really.
05:03 - Craig (Host)
Some are.
05:04 - AnnaMarie (Host)
None of the pickles I've had have ever been hot and spicy. And we did it again. We were on this road, we were traveling along, we had a destination, and now we're burning hot and spicy pickles.
05:17 - Craig (Host)
I am no idea how we got here.
05:18 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I don't know how we got here either.
05:19 - Craig (Host)
I'm not responsible.
05:21 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Oh, yes, you are. I'm going to get that coffee. Give me that. No, no, no, no. Back to your own corner.
05:30 - Craig (Host)
Oh, I've been confined to the corner we didn't get some little things and these can be any, as the title implies. As you might imagine, just little things that you do for your partner Picking up the living room or wuffing the pillows or making the bed or whatever. Seemingly innocuous and unimportant, little jobs. But I love doing these for you because you'll come home from working and say, oh, I need to start smiling and you'll know right away that it's already done. It's already done the dishes tonight. I did them before you got home.
06:09 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I know that was very sweet because that was the first thing I was thinking of. So I'm going to get up tomorrow, walk the dog, feed the dog, start the dishes. But now I can't start the dishes because you already did them.
06:19 - Craig (Host)
I can go dirty, some of you, oh, don't you dare.
06:23 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I mean I want to go wash that right, Give it to me Go back to your road.
06:30
Okay. So I'm sure a lot of you have seen these videos of these moms and dads who make special lunches for their kids and they always put in either preprinted note or they write a note. Now I'm much older than school age kids and we are, so not going to go on to how old I am, but she's a little bit older. Give me that copy again. So one of the things that he always does is he always puts a note in my lunch, and there have been I don't know like two times that I can remember that I got on the road and he turned and discovered the note was not anywhere near my lunch bag. It was in fact still in the house. And here's one of the little things he will take a photo of that note and text it to me to make sure that I still get my daily lunch note.
07:33 - Craig (Host)
Well, I do it because it's important that you get to know it. I also do it to say look, I didn't forget. I am of a certain age where I am finding that I am forgetting things more and more often, Although I can't forget that AARP keeps sending me applications and cards.
07:53 - AnnaMarie (Host)
No, no, I got to beat on that one. I was. I wasn't even in my twenties yet, and the Lawrence Welk Resort kept sending me letters inviting me to come and learn more. So I called them one day and they were so excited to get my phone call in oh, yes, yes, yes, we love to have you come down. And I said do you have an age restriction? And they said why? And I told them my age and they said oh dear, we're sorry, we'll just take you right off that list, which they never did.
08:28 - Craig (Host)
I was going to ask if they ever, if they actually did that or not.
08:32 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Uh-uh. No no no, no, they never took me off their list, but it has been decades since they have written and I'm I'm feeling very Are you feeling at a? Loss. I'm feeling at a loss. I feel like I lost my, my male buddy.
08:46 - Craig (Host)
So and just to reiterate or iterate the first time, I don't know some of these topics we may have covered before. So if my, if my future brother in law, george, is listening, this is not. This is not a repeat. You're not listening to a rerun or anything. This is. This is live. Well, it's live while we're recording it, but when you listen to it it is not the same one that you just listened to. That concerned pancakes and postings.
09:17 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Pancakes. Let's talk about pancakes. So one of the things that, before Craig moved here, one of the things that made him absolutely nuts, was my breakfast habits.
09:31 - Craig (Host)
What breakfast? Grabbing a granola bar and a glass of milk is not a breakfast habit.
09:36 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Okay, there were bagels.
09:39 - Craig (Host)
I don't remember you ever making bagels.
09:40 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Yes, toasted bagel with cream cheese or strawberry cream.
09:45
And a smear. Um. So before he moved here, that absolutely made him cray cray. He hated the fact that I was just like grabbing whatever if I was racing out the door granola bar, bagel, peanut butter sandwich, whatever. It just bugged him, no-transcript. When he moved here, he asked me if I liked pancakes and I said, well, yeah, I do. And he got. He logged I don't know what. The bed, the bed. I can't talk today.
10:17
He locked that information away and the next morning I was getting ready for work and all of a sudden I hear him moving about in the kitchen and he said okay, you gotta come eat something.
10:29
And I was already planning on grabbing that granola bar because I had to get going and he made me pancakes. It was the sweetest thing and he always makes sure that I have a hot breakfast before I head out the door, whether it's eggs and toast or pancakes. The other morning I failed in my job of making sure he was waking up and not feeling rushed about, and I wanted him to sleep because I knew he wasn't feeling well. But I keep forgetting that that will put him into A tizzy. Into a tizzy. And I wasn't even worried about pancakes. I was like I can grab a bowl of cereal, I can grab rice cake and peanut butter I'm good. But he felt so bad that he didn't have something like hot for me to eat and I just felt horrible that he felt that way. But it's again. It's one of those little things Like it really mattered that he got my day started on the right foot.
11:42 - Craig (Host)
And see, sometimes you'll run into that where it's almost like the gift of a magi situation where I'll do a little thing for her and she'll return to favor and try to do a little thing for me. She gets up somewhere between five, 30 and six, usually close to the five 30, but I will sleep in until like six, six, 30,. The puppy's getting better about it, so he's not quite picking up at the first like crack of light in the sky like he was doing, so he's getting better about it. So now I can sleep until like six 30. And by the time I wake up and I do what I need to do and I can in her breakfast and everything ready.
12:22
I want to make sure that she has plenty of time to eat so she doesn't feel rushed because she's very packing about her time, just like I am. I never, ever want to be late for anything and some people will say, well, he's making you breakfast, so what? And you're right, it's not a grand gesture, but it's a little thing I like to do for her because I know she enjoys it. I feel better knowing that she's eaten something substantive, somewhat nourishing. I know him. Pancakes are the healthiest. When we have fruit in season. She gets sliced fruit, bananas and strawberries and sometimes blueberries or whatever we have laying around the house. So she's getting her food in and I feel so much better than her rushing around with, like a Twinkie or something, or a handful of gummy bears or whatever it is that she-.
13:14 - AnnaMarie (Host)
No, no, no, no. Now the gummy bears. Let's just clarify what the gummy bears was. So when I was going for my master's degree, it was myself and a friend of mine and we decided to work on it together. That way, we kind of had encouragement to keep going. Now, after a full day of teaching, the one thing we were never really ready for was two to three hours of classes. So to make sure we could stay awake, we would always get Coke and red gummy bears. I don't know why we chose the red gummy bears. I think it was something about the flavor of them, but it was always caffeine and gummy bears. So no, I've never. Actually, because I don't want people to think I do this in the morning, I never left for work eating gummy bears. Can't remember the last time I had gummy bears.
14:15 - Craig (Host)
I don't know, I haven't seen you eat many. We did buy some of the ones from Haribo, or Haribo or.
14:21 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Oh, those things are hard to chew.
14:23 - Craig (Host)
Yes, when was I going? I haven't had gummy bears in forever either. I used to buy. Before the sub went out to sea I would bring like a five or something pound bag of gummy bears that I bought at Sam's Club. I would make them last. I've been eating them last very long. Five pounds of gummy bears is a surprisingly large number of gummy bears. It is a large number of gummy bears.
14:49
So I'm thinking about little things you can do, and I, you know, the research department does a bang up job here. So I found a list of 50 small acts that you can do for your partner, and I'm going to read them in no petition order, so don't think You're going to read all 50?
15:07
Yeah, I'm just going to read several. Let's see, give your partner a 20 minute back massage. That's a little excessive for me. I don't know if my hands could keep up with 20 minutes, but you know, do it again. You can cook breakfast together. I'm gonna play a board game together. Share your goals and dreams with one another, go for a walk, hop in the car, turn up the GPS and get lost again. And this is one I really can't do because, no, I can't.
15:36 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I can't do that either because I don't want to be lost.
15:39 - Craig (Host)
I I can get.
15:40 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I can get a. I did that the first day he landed here. Now I don't like driving to LAX. The people who are driving to LAX are crazy because they don't think there's anybody else around, they just aim their cars. But he landed LAX and I was very proud of myself. I got there very calmly and every time he wasn't out by the, by the pick up area, I just went around in the circle and I made it back every time we go to leave LAX and I promptly got us lost. Did you know? I looked at Craig and said which way do we go?
16:23 - Craig (Host)
Because you know, being the California native, that I was. I'm the only two minutes here, but we got home or we got to. We got to the restaurant, we we did fine. You didn't lend me in Watts or Compton, so we're okay, alright, it's not a big deal because that's a very real possibility around here.
16:42
You don't want to. You don't want to get lost in either one of the cities unless you like no reason You're. You're reasoning for why you would want to go there, even in broad daylight. A few more from the list Some I don't agree with. One is let your partner win an argument. I, I don't know that that's really a good thing, because if it's a specious, stupid argument, then you the really shouldn't have it anyway. Well, the opinions expressed by the host of this show are not necessarily those of the host of the show.
17:18 - AnnaMarie (Host)
We've got arguments, and I think this falls under the category of little things, because I, I don't know, I just, I just hit that way. If you're arguing with your spouse, your significant other, boyfriend, girlfriend, before either one of you goes to sleep for the night, you know that moment where you're both feeling much better, because then sleep will be much more relaxing.
17:55 - Craig (Host)
I mean, there's no, winning an argument. No, and it's absolutely okay to walk away from one another. If there's no point in like deletiling the the argument and like making sure you win in that moment. It's okay to take a step back, both of you and like you're not fighting.
18:16
Oh yeah, no, I'm not fighting. And then you, like she said, you come back together and you, you talk it out. Now it doesn't mean that one of you is going to win or one of you has to lose, but you, you come at it from the standpoint of this is my, this is my opinion, that's your opinion. Both are valid. Never try to not never try to invalidate your partner's argument or your partner's argument. Don't try to tell them like that or to make fun of them. Oh, I can't believe. I can't believe you think that that's. That's not the way to be.
18:53
You know, and like, like we've said, and we, we keep driving home. We're not relationship experts. People from our past would probably laugh and say what are you two doing talking about that? But we're talking about things that work for us and we hope that some of these things will work for you.
19:09
So, absolutely do not, do not let the sun set on your anger. And you can. You can get to the point where it's like okay, I'm mad at you because you, you really, you really made me mad last night and I'm not going to talk to you today. And then, before you know, it's like two or three days down the road and you're arguing over something that's really you know, when you step back and look at it, it's just not that important, it doesn't matter that much.
19:36
And there's been a lot of time where she says something that that upset me and then I I stopped to think about it and I realized that I realized that based on my own experiences or based on things that have happened to me or whatever you know my worldview that she was wrong and I couldn't believe that she said that, and I realized that that was not right. And then we talked it out and apologize. If you have to apologize, I don't care what gives rules are or or anything else Apologizing is not a sign of weakness. I think that's a sign of weakness and you're big enough and you're mature enough and whatever you can say.
20:21 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Look, I screwed up, I'm sorry, please forgive me and don't Well, I'm sorry because that's that's, that's half-assed, more like I'm sorry for and include what it is that you did, not what they did, because you never know. You're starting another argument again.
20:46 - Craig (Host)
Another one to not say is well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I hate that. As if to say that only your feelings are valid and the other persons are invalid. I don't think that's right at all. You should never be little your partner. You don't have to agree with everything I say, because I think that would be boring if you were exact. You know precisely, in lockstep with one another, on every every thing you know. You don't remember really quickly, you didn't have different views of things.
21:17 - AnnaMarie (Host)
So another one of the little things that I actually really you don't even realize, when I drive to work, there's a couple of days a week that there's a specific snippet of a local radio station that I just have to listen to. It's terrible, it's horrible. I feel so bad for these couples but for some reason I don't know, I'm going to, but for some reason I have to tune in, so it's like a train wreck I got in the look.
21:53
It's a train wreck, but I got to listen to it and I always, you know, beg the person that they're calling don't pick up your phone, and they always do. And then kaboom, so there's, there's a radio host, Ryan Seacrest, and he does a segment called Ryan's Roses, and basically, if somebody is concerned about something going on with their partner, they write in and they have Ryan and his teammate, they make this call to their partner. I have to listen to those. I've heard a couple where it turned out very well and I've heard some that I just feel so horrible for this couple. But he doesn't mind that.
22:36
You know, I wait until after I've heard it before I call him to let him know how my drive is going. And of course, on those days, you know, when I call, he says so, how's Ryan? And then I relate to him, what happened on the show and the fact that you know he, you know, doesn't mind that I do that or that I'm late calling him because you know I had to. You know, listen to the quote unquote train wreck. It's just really sweet, it's just a silly little thing I like to do. So it's just one of those little things.
23:09 - Craig (Host)
Well, one of my favorite little things that you do is on your on your weekly. Can we call it a radio show?
23:17 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Because it is on radio right.
23:19 - Craig (Host)
So she does the DJ thing in Second Life and it's broadcast to the entire world through the Internet.
23:26 - AnnaMarie (Host)
He won radio dot com.
23:28 - Craig (Host)
Yes, tune, in often.
23:34 - AnnaMarie (Host)
I'm on Saturdays at 7 pm. 7 pm. Civic standard time. Civic standard time.
23:39 - Craig (Host)
Yes, there's a plug right, but one of the things she does every week is, toward the end of her show she'll say so, what made you smile this week? And then she'll give you a few moments while some more songs play, and then she'll come back and she'll say what they are, and one or two times it's been about me and she just she'll start with. So one of the things that made me smile this week was my boyfriend did this and I get this big grin on my face yes, you do this big stupid grin and my ears and cheeks get a little pink.
24:14 - AnnaMarie (Host)
You just shake your head from side to side.
24:16 - Craig (Host)
It's so cute because she'll be all excited about things I do Again, little things. In case you're wondering, that's the theme of this show. But I do these little things for her that she really appreciates and it tickles her that I do them and then she likes to share it with the world and I'm glad that we don't we don't do this on cam, because I would be turning red every Saturday night when she talks about me and the people in second life are like, yeah, go you.
24:48 - AnnaMarie (Host)
So, like one of the little things that he does when weekends come around, I know he wants that to be 100% us time. Take my work life and just forget about it for a couple of days. But if I'm leaving work on a Friday and I'm just grousing about, you know, my desk is messed with, these papers weren't put away or I don't want to come back to looking at all this on Monday morning, he'll say, ok, let's take a couple of hours on Saturday or Sunday, whichever works, and let's just head down there and see what we can get going so that when you walk in Monday you're feeling calm and centered and it's just. It's very sweet that he's willing to get up early to hop in the car so that once again we're at my place Just to put papers away or to make sure the computers are charging properly or whatever it is.
25:42 - Craig (Host)
We have a routine. I know that I have to do the homework packets and put the computers away and and whatever. None of us, what else can I do, and honestly I don't see any issues with it Would I prefer that, like we get up and we like lounge about in our, in our sweats and pajamas and whatnot on Saturday mornings, absolutely. But I know that this little thing that I can do for her giving up a few hours on my Saturday makes her happy and makes her stress free on Monday mornings, because otherwise she it would be the whole week going. Oh my god, my room, my room, my desk. I have to do this, I have to do that, I have to get, I have to get up early on Monday and go and take care of these things. I'm like why? You know, I never imagined that I would grow up to be a teacher's boyfriend, but here I am living the dream.
26:32 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Now he was talking about how he came across this list of different random little acts that you could do for your partner, and I was just glancing over and I saw one that says take a couple's yoga class together. I gotta tell you, I gotta be honest, um, I'm not interested in that. I tried yoga once and it didn't work for me. Apparently, I cannot relax enough for yoga.
26:59 - Craig (Host)
What flavor yoga did you have?
27:02 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Oh, no, honey, no no.
27:05 - Craig (Host)
I'm sorry oh yoga, yoga not yoga. That's the guy from Spaceballs. Oh, that was yogurt, nevermind.
27:15 - AnnaMarie (Host)
So, um, I did try taking yoga once and at one point we were all lying on our yoga mats and we were supposed to be breathing, I think, and all of a sudden the yoga instructor goes what is that rhythmic tapping sound? So everybody was really, really quiet and listening and in all of a sudden I realized it was me. I was drumming my fingers on the floor because I was just like let's go, what's the next thing? Come on, come on, come on. And I had to get my money back because at that point I'm like yoga is not calming for me. It just wasn't. I was like what is the next thing? Come on, I've been laying here for like all of three seconds.
28:03 - Craig (Host)
I think that's the opposite effect of what yoga is supposed to do.
28:06 - AnnaMarie (Host)
It did not work for me, and all right. I had no idea that I was drumming my fingers until all of us got seriously quiet and he just heard I'm like, oh, that's me.
28:16 - Craig (Host)
Oh, I see you can tap your fingers during yoga, but I can't tap my fingers in the car. Okay, okay, hold on hold on, moving on.
28:26 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Oh, no, no, now we're going to, we're going to address this. Um, for some reason, certain noises can can get to me, trigger you can trigger me, and sometimes, when we're driving, he'll start drumming his fingers and I don't know what it is. That just makes me go, please stop it.
28:52 - Craig (Host)
I have no idea that I'm doing it, it's just it's so ingrained into me. It looks like my coffee cup is empty, so it's about that time.
29:01 - AnnaMarie (Host)
Oh it is, it is. No, I was going to take the cup away from you because you had coffee in it, but I'll put it right there. So the little things, just random, small acts we like to do for each other, and I know a lot of times we kind of went up in this direction, in that direction, but that's part of our term it is part of our term.
29:27 - Craig (Host)
As always, we thank you all for listening. We appreciate you coming back every week and giving us a platform to talk to you, and this is just our two cents worth. Your moans may vary. We love you all. We thank you all and god bless Bye.