Chapter 7 : “Revenge is a fool’s game”

Choosing a different route outside of revenge is probably one of the strongest decisions you can make for yourself. Choosing to ground yourself in the middle of chaos, or simply choosing peace within yourself, has a way of clarifying everything. It changes how you see people, how you see situations, and even how you see your own healing.

Peace won't always feel like action.. because it requires restraint. It feels like choosing not to follow every emotion that pulls you into destruction, even when it feels justified.

Time has a way of revealing what’s real and what isn’t. It exposes intentions, it reshapes pain, and it teaches lessons that emotion alone can’t process in the moment.

Realistically speaking,

Time is the biggest truth teller, and revenge is the ultimate time waster.

In this Episode I speak on how Ellie and Abby's story from The Last of us is a shining example of this.

Transcript

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Hey everybody. I know. I know. Girl, it's been a month since we've seen you. Don't worry about it. Please don't don't watch me watch TV, first of all. Don't, don't, don't pay attention to me. I had to get reacclimated in my life, you know. Getting adjusted. Things are changing, things are moving. And I'm trying to learn how to move with it and be patient with myself. Instead of feeling like I gotta have everything together every 25 seconds, even though I it really isn't a requirement. So with that, before we get into today's episode, I want to acknowledge something intentionally. Uh, this platform is now moving from an open soul to soul accord, and there's reason for it. Um, I tried to you know keep it short, easy, and to the point. Soul accord is basically being in alignment with where your soul is meant to be, not just where you want to be. It's about intentional movement, not instant gratification, and it's also about honoring where you are while still growing forward, not just one accord, but also in accordance with who you are, where you're supposed to be, and completely in tune with yourself, completely in tune with where you need to be, not just with where you want to be, because where you want to be is not always where you're supposed to be. You know what I'm saying? With that being said, today I want to talk about something that ties into the idea of alignment versus reaction. If you're into gaming like me, the gaming community definitely knows about The Last of Us, which is one of my favorite video games that I've ever seen. Seeing it grow from just a game to a whole HBO series, that's how you know that the storyline is freaking incredible. And now that I'm older, because the last time I really watched it, or at least the first time, I'm a person who loves to watch gameplay as opposed to playing it. I don't really care to play it, I just want to look at it. Of course, I was in a younger state of mind, like I didn't really care too much, but I understood the gist of it, I understood what was going on. But getting older, like five years later, and looking at it from a different lens, it it's really eye-opening, and it does apply to life today. And it led me to finally seeing how pointless and time-wasting, how wasteful it is to be consumed with the idea of revenge. Now, I really want to talk about the story between Abby and Ellie, which I feel like is a beautiful example of revenge being the hugest time waster. When you look at Ellie and Abby's story, what you're really watching is what revenge does when it becomes a life mission. For those who don't know the story, Ellie is immune. She represents something bigger than herself, a possible cure, a future where the world could actually heal. But that truth also puts a target on her back. In a world like that, you know, people don't just see her as a person. They see her as a solution, a weapon, or a sacrifice. Joel, a man from the beginning of the of the game or the show, whichever one you want to call it, Joel steps in and saves her. And that's where everything basically changes because Joel already lost a daughter. So when Ellie came into his life, she became more than just a survivor, she became his second chance at love, purpose, and not losing everything again. So when he finally learns that saving the world might require losing her, he makes a choice out of grief, fear, and love. He chose her. But that choice has consequences he doesn't fully understand in the moment. One of those consequences is Abby. Abby's father was the surgeon in that hospital, the man who could have created the cure. So when Joel kills him to save Ellie, Abby doesn't just lose a parent, she loses her future, her sense of justice, her world. And that's where revenge begins. Joel's love creates Abby's pain. Abby's pain creates Joel's death. And Joel's death creates Ellie's obsession. It becomes a cycle. Ellie spends years carrying the weight of Joel's death while also carrying the truth that she never fully confronted about what he did in that hospital. And that truth eats at her because love and betrayal can exist in the same memory. Eventually, Ellie goes after Abby. And what follows is not justice, it's destruction on both sides. Both of them lose people, both of them lose time, both of them lose parts of themselves they cannot get back. Even when Ellie finally finds Abby at her lowest point, because before when we saw Abby, she was buff, she was muscular, she was strong, she was, you know, moving, you know, you couldn't do too much to her. The girl could fight too, fought good and hard. But Ellie found her again after their first fight, broken, weakened, and barely surviving. And Ellie still couldn't let it go. Because revenge doesn't end when the other person suffers, it only ends when you decide to stop carrying it. And that's the part that most people don't think about. By the time Ellie finally lets her go, she finally realizes that she didn't just lose Joel, she lost Dina, she lost the baby, she lost peace, she lost time, she lost the life she was trying to build. And Abby, in her own way, already lost years of her life, too. So when you step back from all of it, the story stops being about who was right or wrong, more so about what revenge costs. In most cases, life is already handling people in ways you don't always see. Time, consequences, and experience have a way of balancing things without your involvement. That doesn't mean people don't hurt you. It surely doesn't mean what happened does not matter. It just means that your revenge is really the thing that brings peace. Sometimes it just delays your own healing. And a lot of times the most powerful thing you can do is trust that what's meant to unfold will unfold, even without your hand in it. Your justice and life's justice are not always the same thing. And often, what you're trying to get back through revenge, life already has a way of addressing it in its own time. I say that to say that at this point in my life, ever since I have taken time to regulate my nervous system and figure me out and just take a break from things, I'm the calmest I have ever been in my life. I realized I was never really calm like that. Just high, strong, and stressed. And when you finally settle down and you see things clearer and you get grounded, you start looking around you at the things that you used to entertain or that you simply just don't hold in your system anymore. You pick up on a lot of things quicker and will do anything and everything to protect your peace. When I started looking at how much time that I was wasting, like last July, I had finally came to terms with things internally, and it was like my conscience was talking to me like, look at how much time you could have used. Whatever is going to happen will happen. You cannot stop the inevitable. What are you worried for? What are you upset about? Just fix it. Fix it so you can move on with your life. If you can't fix it, fix yourself. Go within, fix yourself internally, dust yourself off and keep moving, but do not waste a drop of time ever again. This is me last summer, last July. Here in these four walls in my house. If you're gonna get it done, get it done. Don't add more stress to yourself than you need to add. This is literally your space in your world now. We ain't calling mommy and daddy. We ain't we ain't out here, you know, handout, looking for something from somebody. No. What you do with your time is your responsibility, and that's why now, when it comes down to even like disagreements or whatever, spats or anything, I don't have the energy for it no more. Because it's way too much peace around me, it's way too much calm around me, it's way too much love around me, it's too much confirmation everywhere. That what am I getting in this ring for? Well, life can already do what it needs to do, it's probably already been doing what it needs to do. I just don't know nothing about it, you know? It is what it is. I'm not speaking out of innocence, neither. I'm just saying that a lot of things you don't have to get your hands dirty with. As hard as it is, we want to prove a point. We want to be the big macho one, you know, the one who swings first, you know. We want to be that. Because who wants to be the person who's victimized? You know, let's get it clear. I'm no one's victim. Never will be. I don't even wish that for you. So under the realization that time ways for nobody. Make a promise to yourself that you're not gonna waste a lick of time on anybody, revenge, nothing. Not because of fear, not because we don't want to, not because we can't, but solely because you've earned your peace and where you at now. Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it has not happened. And granted, we may not have it all, but we most definitely got peace. Trust time.