Facing Tragedy Away from Home

What happens when the unthinkable occurs, and you're far from home? Imagine being in a foreign country and losing your spouse or partner unexpectedly. In this episode, we sit down with a compassionate representative from the Playa del Carmen consulate, who walks us through the labyrinth of steps that follow such a devastating event. From navigating local laws and contacting the next of kin to selecting a funeral home and deciding between repatriation, burial, or cremation—every aspect is covered with sensitivity and expertise. 

Preparation is key to easing this heavy burden. Our guest emphasizes the necessity of having candid conversations with your spouse about final wishes and ensuring wills and emergency contacts are up-to-date and accessible. Whether it's understanding the legal obligations surrounding autopsies in Mexico or learning the most cost-effective ways to repatriate remains, this episode provides indispensable guidance. Join us for a heartfelt discussion that aims to offer both practical advice and emotional support during one of life's most challenging times.

We are incredibly thankful for engagement and stories from our listeners, who have found their own sense of 'home' across the globe. Stay tuned as we continue to share the wisdom and wanderlust of those who've charted their unique international courses. We'd love to hear your comments and questions. Email them to expatslikeus@gmail.com
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Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

So something that many of us don't necessarily think about when planning an international move or a trip here is what happens when a spouse or partner dies while you're living or visiting abroad. We assume the consulate would be contacted, but what would happen in that scenario as far as maybe bringing the body back to the States?

Speaker 2 0:18

Yes, that happens, unfortunately, more often than any of us would like, and it's not ever easy. Even when there are cases where people who live here and they're expecting it or it's not an unexpected illness, it's still a hard thing to navigate and that's why we're here. It's a major part of my job. I think in my district alone we handle probably close to 60 deaths just in the Playa del Carmen district, and then we have Cancun, which is maybe more than that, and then Merida also. So it happens a lot.

Speaker 2 0:51

The first thing that we do is we try to reach out immediately to the next of kin to offer condolences and to let them know what to expect. A lot of them are just lost at sea, especially if this comes out of nowhere. They're on vacation, their husband has a heart attack while he's snorkeling and here's this poor woman. She's alone and she's devastated and she doesn't have her partner and she doesn't speak Spanish. So we try to get to them right away, offer condolences and let her know the next steps. The first step would be to choose a funeral home locally and you decide on the disposition of remains whether or not you want to cremate or you would like to embalm or return the remains to the US. We let them know about local, local laws. Now, any US citizen or any foreigner not just any foreigner in Mexico who dies outside of a doctor's care has to have an autopsy. That's Mexican law. Now, if a doctor is on scene or can be called to say this is a death from natural causes and the family wishes to waive that right to the autopsy, they can do so. But in general, all US citizens who die outside of a doctor's care do get an autopsy, and that's foreigners, not just US citizens.

Speaker 2 1:58

And then you choose the funeral home, obviously the most economical If your family has economic problems. The most economical way to repatriate your loved one, if you wish, is to have them cremated and you hand carry their cremains and their belongings that they left here in Mexico with you back to the States. That's obviously the least expensive. People don't want to come down and they have their financially solvent or it's not too big of a burden for them and they will embalm, or they will cremate and then return, have the remains shipped and their belongings shipped as well. That is obviously quite expensive. Other times people are saying I really can't afford this and then I counsel them. The best way really is to just come down If you can't afford it, take the belongings yourself and then you can go back on a plane and commercial flights, and then it costs you the cost of the flight or whatever you've paid, the funeral home that you've chosen for cremation or for embalming services or whatnot.

Speaker 1 2:54

So what sort of things should like couples, what sort of things should my wife and I think about to have in place in case something like that happens?

Speaker 2 3:03

That's a really good question. I'm glad you asked. It's really important that you both make your wishes known. Make sure that your wife knows what your wishes are with regards to whether or not you want to be repatriated or you'd like to be buried in Mexico or you'd like to be cremated. If you have a will, make sure your will is updated and that someone knows where that is. Make sure your emergency contact knows what your wishes are and where your important documents are, because those are the things you're going to need to do Now.

Speaker 2 3:30

The US consulate, the US government we operate under the next of kin being the order of kinship is basically a living spouse, a spouse, adult children, and then from then on, it would go down the line. So that's just the most important thing just being proactive. Even you think it can't happen to me. You never know. So make sure your wishes are known, speak about it. Make sure you have your will and in a location. Now, if you live here in Mexico too, it's not a bad idea, even if you wanted to get a will in Mexico. I know that in September for all the notaries, because you get your wills here at notaries. Notaries in Mexico are more like attorneys than attorneys are. They're more like the US version of attorneys. In the month of September, it's half price will month in Mexico, so that's a good month to get. It's coming up, so that's a good month to get a will if you don't have one.