Konnected Minds Podcast

Segment: Why Men Avoid Therapy and How It Affects Their Financial Stress

• Derrick Abaitey

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Addiction doesn't discriminate. From bus drivers to professionals, the normalization of dangerous substances has created a crisis hiding in plain sight. Our guest, a mental health professional, takes us on a powerful journey exploring how prevention must take precedence over cure, especially when targeting younger generations before harmful patterns take root.

The conversation takes a fascinating turn as we examine why financial stress weighs particularly heavy on men in Ghanaian society. Men are conditioned from childhood to be providers and "superheroes," creating immense pressure that many carry silently. This cultural programming explains why therapy often remains taboo for men—seeking help feels like admitting weakness. Meanwhile, women typically find it easier to express vulnerability and access support systems. This gender divide has profound implications for mental health and financial wellbeing.

We challenge the notion that highly disciplined people are less happy, revealing how consistency actually creates stability in brain chemistry and reduces anxiety. Unlike motivation, which fluctuates with feelings, discipline functions regardless of emotional state—doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. This steadiness translates directly to financial health and overall life satisfaction. The episode concludes with a liberating reminder that not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur. Finding your authentic path, whether through building a business or excelling in a career, remains the true key to fulfillment and success. What matters isn't following trends but aligning your choices with your unique identity and strengths.

Want more conversations that challenge conventional wisdom and offer practical insights? Subscribe, share with others navigating similar challenges, and join our growing community of thoughtful listeners seeking better ways to approach mental health, financial stability, and personal growth.

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Speaker 1:

you know, there's a new manufacturer that's brought this medication in, and I think it's it's in red coating, that's what they call it right but, you know.

Speaker 1:

But I know you help a lot of people you know that have issues with addiction and and stuff with the company that you have. How can you help steer people away from situations like this where they're so addicted to such medications they can't they can't do anything? I've heard there. You know bus drivers who are using these medications. You know Columbus. You know standard people that you usually call to do things for you. They're on drugs right.

Speaker 2:

So it's such a such a it's such a difficult thing to watch. When I've seen some of these videos and um, you know some of them it's like you see a human being and you just see a human just like wearing off, like you know, like how life is so precious, and you see a person just go down the rails. I think there's there's two ways to deal with it. I am more into prevention than even trying to cure. But when you get to the stage where you need cure, definitely we are there for you. But we tend to want to advise the younger ones not to even start. When I was younger, I I don't know if you remember there was all these adverts on TV where they used to say you know, stay away from drugs. All these cartoons. I don't see those things away in. I don't see them around anymore, you know. So those adverts were supposed to tell us to stay away from weed, to stay away from cocaine and all of that, even though as a child I didn't know what cocaine was or where I was going to get it from, but it was implanted in my brain that, you know, anytime I see somebody say cocaine, I feel like that's a very dangerous thing. You don't go near that. What? What I said.

Speaker 2:

Now it's become like the medications that people are taking has become like a household thing. Nobody really talks about how dangerous it is and some of them are even getting prescribed. The trauma is becoming when any drug becomes a household name, like alcohol, whether it's smoking. Once it becomes a household it becomes usual. But once it's embedded in your brain as a child and you're afraid of it, the likelihood of you going to it when you're older it's a lot more difficult. So I would say that we need more intervention in our secondary schools, which is one of the projects that we are working on with some secondary school to advise the kids on all these medications and you know how not to even get there. And also, yeah, we're doing community services where we tend to provide um therapy and psychiatric help for people who are already into it. But the the intensity of getting addicted to that medication, I don't think the younger children are actually abreast with that information as much as they need to. I think once they get to know, a lot of people will stay away from it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I don't, because I don't think people understand the damages that recreational drugs yeah, you know particularly you can have on people. Yeah, and I add alcohol to this. I don't think people do. You know, sometimes people say that you know you need something to help you solve. You know, take your problems away. But, like you mentioned, if you have problems around you and then you go away for some time even if you take a holiday and then you come back, but while you're on a holiday you're not thinking about how to solve the problems you come back with the same problem. They will still be around and that's what drugs and those things does, right, if you're not thinking around how to solve those problems, then after you come out from your high, you back to low. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I mean, you're right and, just just like we say, some people actually having to have addiction problems it's not just about financials. I've met people that are, you know, parents, are very well-to-do and they still get addicted to drugs. And so, as I said initially, when it comes to Mr Sam not being able to have the courage to start a business, it's like some of them stem from childhood trauma, where there is abuse in the house, there is tend to neglect and all of that. So for some people, it's not actually financial needs that make them want to go to drugs, it's actually a sense of neglect or there, or you know, there's a sense of there's trauma, there's something going on there. So that's why I'm saying therapy. It's very important once a person goes through it and be able to understand the source of what is causing them to be so unhappy, depressed, always feel anxious.

Speaker 1:

that's like the beginning to, you know, to the solution but you know, if we bring this all the way down, most of the people that worry the most about money between male and female is men. Worry very much about money, right? So the my next question is you know why? Why is therapy almost a taboo for men in Ghana?

Speaker 2:

Okay. I think that that brings you to the question. When you say men worry about money more than women, it's because men were programmed, you know, they always programmed from childhood to be responsible. They have to at some point be responsible for their self as to a certain age. Then you get married. Once you get married, you have to be responsible to responsible for your wife. Then you have children, then you have to be responsible for your children. So it's like men are always meant to be these superheroes, even if they are not. So, as a man, not being able to be that superhero is like you.

Speaker 2:

You feel a sense of weakness already. So for them to go to a therapist and talk about the emotions and things, it's like giving away that sense. That makes them feel weak. It's like they're in a situation that they're talking about their weakness. They don't like to pretend the weakness is not there.

Speaker 2:

What about women? Love being weak. Women like to put on a cry show and know, because women always want to be soft. The softer they are, the more attention they get and the more they get their way. So it's easy for women to open up and cry in front of you. Know therapies and tell them all the problems and try to get a solution, but a man would say, no, I'm fine, I can handle this, I'm a man. So I think that's where the problem is. But I think therapy is actually about crying or sharing emotion. It's about digging deep down to find out why you're behaving a certain way or why some certain things do seem to be a stumbling block for you. So it's just like going down to your foundation and make sure your house is good, that's all.

Speaker 1:

You know I have a famous question I ask on this podcast. But before I ask that question, I want to make a statement that I heard someone say that the more disciplined a person is, the less happy they are.

Speaker 2:

Now I think of the contrast, though I would like to contest that. Okay, go on. The reason is that when a person is more disciplined, they tend to have their dopamine levels at a stable level. So that means that when you wake up in the morning and by 9 o'clock you're going to the office, you are there, you have your breakfast at 7,. You know be in the office by 9, o'clock, you're going to the office, you are there, you have your breakfast at seven. You know be in the office by nine, have your lunch at one, come home. Your dopamine levels tend to stay the same way.

Speaker 2:

But for a person who doesn't have a pre-planned life or pre-planned anything, just wake up in the morning, probably wake up at 8, 30 knows they have to be in the office by nine and then be rushing and then the dopamine will go.

Speaker 2:

They get to the office, they sit down, they are too tired, the dopamine drops lunchtime they don't even forget to eat, and so that you know they begin to feel jittery and they don't know why they are not so calm. It's probably because they're great. They forgot to eat in the evening. Now they are thinking what am I going to eat it? It's like the day is like that. But for a person who plans everything and it's very disciplined about it, like I previously talked about, you know retirement age and you know being able to financially structure your life you tend to be less worried. And someone who doesn't have that in place, that just go by the day and buys whatever they want whenever, without thinking of the implication financially, you tend to be a lot more unhappy. So discipline it's like you know, unless you're overly doing it or you're you're too pre-planned, then fine.

Speaker 2:

But normal discipline is usually the best way to to care about your stress so I guess you've already answered the question, because my question was motivation or discipline right that's my famous, famous question here and this discipline is actually, uh, very strong in that meaning that when you wake up in the morning and you know you have to go out to the gym or to exercise at 7 o'clock, it's not motivation that would really pick you as much as discipline. If you're disciplined, it doesn't matter if you're motivated or not. You get up and you go do it. That's discipline. Motivation comes a sense of. You know you have to get yourself to feel better about going to run, and discipline doesn't care if you're better or're not better. It has to do what it has to do. So I think that is where discipline actually keeps you more on track amazing um.

Speaker 1:

Have you got anything for my audience?

Speaker 2:

um, I would say, um, we, we, we are not all meant to be entrepreneurs or we are not all meant to do one particular thing, that every human being is designed in their own way.

Speaker 2:

And once you look down to define who you are as a person, you tend to pick, you know, career choices or business choices that you know know in line with your identity, those, those kind of um, uh, this kind of picking and choosing actually helps you stay a bit more, you know, aligned with you, know your future. But picking things that don't align with who you are, it's easier to get exhausted by it at a certain point. So, uh, if you're a person and you think that, okay, starting a business is not my thing, you can work for someone and still make money. I don't think that it's always like that. You have to have a business and people say, quit your business and, you know, don't create a career or don't do the same work for years. I don't think it's for everyone. I've seen people work a career and build very successful homes and so, yeah, I, that's best amazing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, thank you so much. If you made it all the way to the end and I love the people that makes it to the end and then they drop it in the comments. I made it to the end, derek. I appreciate you guys, and if you're listening on apple, spotify or any other audio channel, leave a review, share this with a friend and support us to get to the huge numbers that we're expecting. Your support on this channel goes a very long way, because that helps us get more guests in and, you know, push this channel to where we want it to be. Thank you so much. My name is derek and I'm out.